Previously on Greek: How could you possibly imagine that we have anything in common? I just thought...
We did. I wanna be as brave as you.
Maybe explore a little. I thought it would look really good on you.
Let's try it, shall we? Is that from Evan?
It's a keepsake I can keep forever. Think that was his idea?
Have you seen Rebecca? She said she was gonna step out and get some air.
How about we go upstairs? Why do you wanna go...?
Oh, my God! I just miss you.
Now you're double dating with Evan and Rebecca instead of me and Cappie.
Have fun. You, too, Case.
If anybody knows his way inside the beltway, it's Joel.
We mostly hire people with post-graduate degrees for legislative aide jobs.
Have you thought about law school? I'm gonna go to law school.
That's great. And I've made a pretty big decision myself.
This is a form for declaring a major. Wait, this is blank.
Hey, Cap, um, I hope you don't mind.
But I moved some of your stuff off your desk and put it over there.
I have a desk? Is that your personal statement?
Your second draft was great. Although, I preferred the font on your ninth.
OK. Well, It has to be perfect, given my OK grades and not-so-OK practice LSAT scores.
Georgetown, Stanford and CRU all place great importance on the personal statement.
Hey, I get it, all right? I'm dealing with future stuff, too.
Like thinking about declaring a real major.
And if I get into CRU law, which would be ideal because it's a really good school and it's here, and you find a major that you love, maybe we could end up graduating at the same time. Isn't that crazy, right?
The craziest. Done in seven years. I'll be like Speedy Gonzales.
Maybe I should study Spanish, or Espana, as they say.
You know, if you need help finding a major, I can always go through your transcripts.
No, no, no, no. I want you to focus on law school.
Asking for help isn't a bad thing.
That's why I'm so glad that Joel agreed to read this and give me feedback.
Joel... the Orgy Guy?
Can we just call him Joel the Guy Who Is Going to Help Casey Get into Law School Guy?
Mm... I don't know, Orgy Guy gives him a lot more personality.
Or personalidante, as they would say.
Huh. OK.
All right. Well, bye, Cap. Bye.
Pull!
And... pull!
Dumptruck, guys, what are you doing?
Those go in the Dumpster. But this is way more fun.
And more fast. - And no one lives in that house.
And since Jeremy left, no one lives in the Dumpster.
So let's use it. Mornin', Spitter.
Why so grumpy? These guys won't use the Dumpster.
I miss Jeremy. Yeah.
Hey, you have a major, right? Yeah. Did you pick one yet?
It's a big commitment. I was thinking about archeology.
You know, I've always liked Indiana Jones. Did you see the last movie?
Good point. How about astronaut? Oh, that's not a major.
Looks like I'm back to square one then.
You probably have a lot of options. You just need to focus.
That's the problem. See, I'm not a fan of the focus-y stuff, you know?
Hey, Mr. Spitter, I think Dumptruck might be dead.
Any of this belong to you boys?
Never seen it. Yes.
Well, no big deal, but there's a lot more over there.
I'll bet you if you all worked together, you could clear it out in an afternoon.
Wait. Who are you? We're your new neighbors.
Hey. Hey, stranger!
How was your big date with Pete?
It was amazing. Tell me.
I want to, but I'm running late for a potato chip focus group for my retail marketing class.
Oh, sounds salty.
And I volunteered us to do nametags and cups for the dorm reunion.
Oh, crap! The freshman dorm reunion, right. I'll get cups from the KT house.
Oh, and guess whose roommate's gonna be there. Yours?
No, but it turns out Janine's freshman 15 is now a two-year-old named Toby. No way!
Oh, so Sunny's going to be there? She never liked me.
So, um, name tags.
I have this focus group until three. How about we do them at four?
Oh, I'm meeting Joel at four. Six?
I have dinner with Pete. And including your making out...
How about ten? Oh, pledge bonding. We're doing kitty collages.
And I have class all day tomorrow. Uh, tomorrow night? 7:30?
7:30 nametags. Great.
Oh, along with all the details on your date with Pete.
OK. Bye! Bye.
How can smelly, old people just move in next door?
Isn't that illegal? I thought you said after that fraternity disbanded in the '80s, no one lived there anymore 'cause it's cursed.
It is. By us. Our Mardi Gras party is next week, which means Ma and Pa Poopy-pants are gonna be pooping on our party.
I think we are overreacting a little bit, OK?
The Hilgendorfs seem like reasonable people.
What?
We had a very interesting conversation when we were cleaning out their yard.
Professor Hilgendorf is a music historian.
He's faculty? Rusty, trust me, this is bad.
They're gonna want us to be neighborly, respectful, quiet. That's not us.
You know what? We need to get them gone.
How about a haunting? Where are the chains at?
Look, I think we could get along with them.
Good fences, good neighbors?
OK, I'll take care of it, and you can concentrate on your major.
OK.
OK, guys. Against my better judgment, Spitter is going over there to make nice.
So someone start a pool to see how long I have until I get to tell him "I told you so."
I'll start. I got that.
Cap, I did something, and I feel kinda bad about it.
Well, you seem extremely upset.
I had sex with Rebecca Logan!
I'm sorry. I broke the bro code.
If you want to hit me, I understand. Wait, wait, wait.
Is this like last year when you "had sex" with Wonder Woman?
I'm still not convinced I didn't.
Remember all the rope burns when the guys were teasing you with the Lasso of Truth?
Yeah, OK. But...
I'm still 75 to 25 percent sure I had sex with Rebecca. I was drinking...
OK. Why don't you just keep this to yourself until you're absolutely sure.
OK? We wouldn't want Wonder Woman to get jealous, would we?
OK. Let's go get those chains.
Hey, you look pretty cheery for a guy who lost his date last night.
Oh, Rebecca left me a message. Apparently, she had food poisoning and she ran out so she wouldn't throw up on me.
You sure she didn't see you dance? Funny.
But listen to this. With the extra time I had this morning, I was able to finish the last of my law school applications.
Hey! Let's celebrate. I know!
Yeah! Looks like you already are, man. What's up with Club Calvin?
Ah. Well, I'm making a gay-list.
A what? It's a playlist of gay music.
Does this have to do with Grant's new... look?
Uh, yeah, a little.
It's just that I've been surrounded by so much straight in my life, I've never really opened my eyes to see what else is out there.
Seeing Grant sort of explore this new world has motivated me to do the same.
To boldly go where ten percent of men have gone before.
Oh, yeah. Seriously, stop dancing, OK?
Hey, Evan, I was looking for you. Yo.
I was going through the receipts from the party and there's like $500 missing from the petty cash.
I think someone stole it.
Wait, like a guest from last night?
No, the cash box is hidden. Um...
Only a brother would even know to look for it.
It sounds like we have a thief in the house.
Damn.
I hate when my human sexuality study group finishes without me.
What can I say? You came late.
Ah.
So...
I heard the craziest thing today.
Beaver thinks he had sex with you last night.
He told you? My God, you guys gossip worse than sorority girls.
He was right? Was this Chambers-inspired?
Did he sleep with a townie? Get a few of your sisters expelled?
He bought me a necklace for Valentine's Day.
And you didn't like it? No, it's beautiful.
A silver, teardrop pendant with a diamond...
...that I'm not wearing. It's just, he's being romantic and buying me gifts and it's all very sweet and overwhelming and something I'm not used to.
OK, well, setting aside the possible personal att*ck and considering you and I dated and that Evan is a first-class ass-hat, shouldn't you be happy that you're being wooed?
Unless you really like him and that freaks you out so you're messing all this up on purpose. What?
Spring break? Wet T-shirt contest?
"I'm beneath you"? Ring any bells?
Don't confuse your old feelings about me with the way I felt about you.
OK, maybe I don't like getting too comfortable. What can I say?
Well, you can say how Chambers took it when you dumped him. Did he cry?
Why would I dump him? Why wouldn't you?
Look, I like Evan.
And as much as it might bother you, I do care about him.
I just don't want things to get so serious.
That doesn't mean I'm ready to throw in the towel.
OK. Well, if you're not gonna dump him, aren't you worried he's gonna find out about Beaver? Not really.
Who's gonna believe Beaver? You didn't.
Good point. Just promise me one thing.
I won't hurt your brother. - Oh, Beaver? Please, he had sex, he's fine.
If you decide to tell Evan, just let me know. I'd like to be there for that.
Just text me about it.
Well, it's a little...
...dry. Dry can be good.
Like a martini. It reads like your resume in paragraph form.
It won't distinguish you from the thousands of other applicants.
Thousands? And I bet they started working on this last fall instead of last month.
If it makes you feel any better, I always planned to go to law school and I didn't know what to write for mine, either.
How'd you figure it out? The Backstreet Boys.
Oh, I can write about them. It wasn't just about them.
I couldn't understand how the Supreme Court had made such a bad decision on this voting rights case, and then I remembered that I took my ex-wife to a Backstreet Boys concert for our first date.
Another bad decision, and a connection between me and our nation's highest court.
Ex-wife?
Sorry, none of my... It's OK.
We got married a week after graduation, I started law school and she started working.
Somewhere between trusts and estates and cyberlaw, we found ourselves on different paths.
I'm sorry. Don't be.
The older you get, the more you realize some people should be around your entire life and others should just make an appearance.
So, um, I should find a personal connection between myself and the law. Mm-hm.
Um... I stole a pair of earrings from Claire's when I was in seventh grade.
Misdemeanor.
Now, if you have ever been charged with m*rder or arson...
Charged? No. No, no.
No!
No charging.
So when are your applications due?
Friday. - Then I hope you've got a lot of time to do some thinking in the next few days, 'cause you got some work to do.
Yeah...
So far, so good with the Hilgendorfs.
I had the pledges sweep their porch, clean their gutters and wire their surround sound. It's all good.
Which just leaves me with my major major problem.
Have you thought about English?
That's a great idea. I already speak it. Right?
Professor Hilgendorf. Nope. Call me Tom.
Margie made these to thank you boys.
Hm...
Free food! Free food? Where?
Oh!
Listen, I also wanted to talk to you about your fence.
I think it's kind of strange, the way it abuts our house.
Oh.
You got beer pong. Why? Is it too loud?
Welcome to the best part of the neighborhood, Tom-o.
Eye candy. Hm.
OK. That's my daughter. Her name is Hannah.
And she is 16 years old.
Sixteen. I repeat, 16.
Thanks, Dad. That was mortifying.
Mom said dinner's ready in ten minutes.
Oh. Well, I better get going. Enjoy your meatloaf.
Oh, I will. Oh, uh, also, can I ask you guys to rein in the noise after 10pm on school nights?
That sounds sort of reasonable. Then you know what?
Here's a few other simple requests that you shouldn't mind at all.
"Noise curfew of midnight on Friday and Saturday, lawn free of alcohol, furniture and debris, no foul language at any time?" Thanks, guys.
Who had six hours? That'd be me.
Someone pay the man, because, Spitter, I told you so!
Last night, I emailed Rusty to thank him again for Valentine's Day and I also included a link to a very fascinating clip about a high-speed robot hand.
But do you think that that was too forward of me?
And how long do you think I should wait before I take the hint?
Huh?
I'm sorry. Is it uncomfortable for you to discuss your brother in terms of romantic liaison? Always.
I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm really stressed.
Well, maybe we should get a cup of coffee and discuss what's bothering you.
And also about these feelings I'm having for Rusty.
As fun as that sounds, I really need to work on my personal statement.
Oh, maybe I could come over and brainstorm some ideas.
I was recently accepted into Yale Law. - Congratulations!
That'd be great. You don't mind?
Of course not. But perhaps while we work, I could ask you some hypothetical questions about dating?
We could pretend I'm not talking about your brother.
Yay.
Bite me, A.
Who you calling an A? You, you R.
What the H is an R? I think it's the same as a Q.
Well, this turned out well.
Come on, Cap. What's the harm in a few rules?
Well, one, most KTs can't spell, and two, this is a fraternity house. At least it used to be.
Well, I guess I'll go over there and talk to Tom again.
What, so he can assign a dress code?
No, this is when we fight back, this is when we play dirty, this is when we make them pay.
We cannot go to w*r with a faculty member.
We will all get expelled.
Wait a minute. We can Borg him.
I'll get Heath. No, no, no.
Absorb him into our collective.
If he feels like he's one of us, maybe he will relax the rules.
You know, Spitter, that oddly makes sense.
Hey, and maybe he could help you pick a major. He is faculty, and the one thing old people love to do more than anything else is give advice to kids.
Z... S...
I bet I know who stole the money.
I don't want to be elitist, but hello? Housekeeping?
All right. Everybody, calm down.
Come on, let's not turn this into a witch-hunt.
I bet it was Trip. He's the first to blame everyone else so he can throw suspicion off himself.
What am I supposed to do, just sit back and let us get ripped off?
No one's saying do nothing, Trip.
But there's no reason for us to turn on each other.
Does it really matter who took it? It's only 500 bucks.
Maybe Grant took it. Can't be cheap to change your look overnight.
Maybe crazy Natalie tricked you into stealing it for her.
Hey! What did I just say about turning on each other?
Guys, what I meant is maybe we can all just pitch in a little cash and cover it.
Problem solved. No. It's not about the money, Pete.
It's the principle. Hey, maybe it was Chambers.
He needs money the most. OK, Trip. So after everything Evan's been through with the house, you think he'd steal the money? All right, maybe it was you.
Ooh!
So much for avoiding a witch-hunt.
So Tom, what does a music historian actually do?
I mostly just listen to music.
Boring classically classical stuff?
Well, I have spent the last three years working on Richard Strauss' Die Agyptische Helena.
Oh! Talk about driving a man to drink.
Yes! That's true. Hey, do you have any?
Take mine. All right. Thank you.
Mm. You know, in my day, we used to play a game that combined eight-ball and beer pong and gambling.
Monkey-Hump? Yes!
I'm undefeated. Are you?
So am I.
Borg-ing commenced.
You know, Tom... Mm-hm.
We were just talking about Cappie having so much trouble picking a major.
I thought as a professor, you might be able to give him some advice.
Maybe you can discuss it while you guys Monkey-Hump.
Well, I'd be more than happy to help you with that.
Oh!
It's on. Wow.
Can I help you with something? No, thanks.
That was weird. I know. She said thanks.
So I will go grab all the nametag stuff.
We have so much catching up to do. The...?
For the dorm reunion? Oh, my God! I totally forgot.
Oh. You probably forgot to pick up the cups, too.
I'm sorry.
Joel blew apart my personal statement and I've been trying to come up with a new topic.
Oh, well, that sucks. You should've told me.
Well, maybe I can help. It's all about marketing yourself, right?
And who knows more about marketing or yourself than me and myself?
I know what your personal statement should be about. Hi, ZBZ.
Oh, um, Katherine is helping me, and she already got into law school!
Awesome! The ban on sexual discrimination was added to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 by a senator who wanted to defeat the bill. But the bill passed, right?
Yes, it did. But just as justice triumphed over cynicism, you do not let the negative stereotypes of sorority girls dissuade you from achieving visionary objectives. That is perfect!
Right, Ash? Yeah.
So I'll just go do those nametags.
Looks like you guys got this under control.
Oh, um, don't forget the cups, Case.
Right.
Oh. Thanks for the cups, Rus. No problem.
Hey, you have a second? You wanna see this awesome video of this robot hand?
That Katherine sent you?
She's kind of cool and interesting.
I wish everyone felt that way.
I think Ashleigh's jealous of her.
Then I can't help you. Guys don't get jealous.
That way, we have more time to invent things and cure diseases.
And start wars and light farts?
Well, thanks, Rus. Big help.
Um, hey, where's Cappie? How's his major hunt going?
Oh. Well, I think I may have found him an academic adviser. Great!
I mean, I don't want to sound like one of those nagging girlfriends, and it's not like I'm worried he's gonna end up being one of those 40-year-olds guys still partying at the KT house...
Tom? Hey, I'm starving!
Gotta get up!
Oh, man...
That's not his academic adviser, right?
No. That's...
...Pickle's dad.
Hey, David Sedaris is doing a reading on campus this weekend. You wanna go?
Sounds fun.
You know, that was pretty gutsy of you, taking on Trip. Why?
Evan's my big brother. Haven't you thought maybe he stole the money?
He's broke. He needs the cash. And he has a job.
As far as I know, he's not investing in home hair products and velvet suits.
So now you think that I did it?
No, I'm just merely pointing out why we shouldn't be throwing around blame.
Hi, guys.
What are you doing? Waiting for Evan.
No, to the couch. Redecorating.
Let us know if you find $500 in there.
Hey. Feeling better?
Yeah, must've been one of those 24 hour things.
I'm really hungry now. OK, let's go. OK.
So now we shouldn't be throwing blame around, even though last night you were pissed that someone stole from their brothers? I don't like any of it, OK?
Cal, the money was stolen on my watch, so everyone's looking at me to fix the situation.
Well, maybe there's a way we can solve both problems at once.
Get the money back and not publicly humiliate anyone.
Hey, Cap. Tom didn't go home last night?
No, he told Margie he was up all night grading papers.
You're a genius, Spitter. I think we Borged him.
He dropped the curfews and told us not to worry about the house-butt problem.
So mission accomplished, right?
You can send him home. No way, I made him an honorary pledge.
He came as Tom. Now, he's T-Bag.
So did T-Bag help you with your major?
I found out what old people love more than giving advice: being young people.
I can't believe I Monkey-Humped you twice last night.
Hey, do you guys ever do keg stands? Hi, there. Have you seen Tom?
No. No, we haven't, Mrs. Hilgendorf.
May I say that blouse really brings out the color in your eyes?
And the lemon bars... Ooh! To die for.
Why, thank you. You're welcome.
And if we see Tom, we'll be sure to tell him you came by looking for him.
Of course. Have a nice day.
Oh! Dude, thank you.
She would've had my ass. And not in a... Like in a good way.
It's the least I can do for the best academic adviser at CRU.
Ah... Hey, do you just wanna watch sports all day?
OK! Let me get my beers!
What's up, guys? Uh, when's the old dude leaving?
'Cause if I wanted to spend time with a guy old enough to be my dad, I'd go home and hang with my dad.
He's not doing too much for Cappie at this point either.
You invited him here, so make him go. How?
Cappie already made him an honorary pledge. You're Pledge Educator.
Just haze him until he quits.
Uh, Pledge T-Bag? Uh, yes?
Give me five? Oh...
These are mine.
Uh, pushups?
Hazing! Fun!
OK, let's do 'em!
Wow. OK, uh...
Five more? OK. Wait a minute.
Shouldn't all the other pledges be doing this with me?
Sorry, guys. Ten from everyone.
Come on, you guys! All right.
* Tonight, tonight, tonight *
May I? Yeah.
Good. I'll prepare the SOUF.
What's that? What's the SOUF?
Smoothie Of Unidentified Fluids.
And you're gonna love your costume.
* I'm doing fine **
You should probably start getting ready.
Um, can I meet you there? I just want to read through this again.
I thought "Gamma Psi" figured it all out for you.
Katherine has really smart advice. She's already gotten into Yale Law, and she knows what the admissions committees are looking for.
But does she know you?
'Cause I gotta tell you, when I think of Casey Cartwright, I'm not reminded of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
Well, then it's a good thing you're not on the admissions committees.
Why is it even called a personal statement if it's just a bunch of BS?
Look, I don't care if it's BS or personal.
I just want to get into law school.
And with Katherine's input, I will.
You're sure about that?
I'm so sure, I am going to go with you to that reunion.
Great. Don't forget the cups.
Again.
No dust. Anywhere.
Beaver, did you find any jewelry in your room?
Leave.
A silver necklace? Why would that be in my room?
I think I lost it when we...
You know...
God, you're gonna make me say it.
When we had sex. We did do it!
I bet Wonder Woman really happened, too.
Don't worry. You were way better.
What, I'm serious.
You're actually charming when you're not trying so hard.
Wanna go upstairs and lose your earrings?
And now you're back. Come on, help me find my necklace.
How's it going, Pledge T-Bag? OK. What do I clean next?
Hey, you wanna play some beer pong?
He was just about to clean underneath the pool table.
Oh, you guys!
So I think Tom has helped me decide what to major in.
Really? Yes.
I wanna major in Tom.
I want to be having that much fun when I'm elderly. He's awesome.
Uh, no, he isn't. He's creeping everybody out.
Not to mention, no girl will ever set foot in Kappa Tau once they know we're recruiting senior citizens as pledges.
Untrue. Girls love it here. Look.
What? That's Dumptruck. And who's he with?
Hannah?! Dad?!
You're drinking? What is this?
I can't find my necklace.
Noise disturbance!
Huck? Oh, no, campus cops.
Officer Huck. Hucky!
The old Huckster!
Yeah. There were supposed to be little sparkly stickers, but I ran out of time.
I couldn't do it all by myself. Kinda like you and your personal statement.
Well, this'll be a fun walk down memory lane.
I'm gonna go put these by the punch bowl.
Oh, my God! Casey!
And Ashleigh? Is that you?
It is. Hi, Sunny. Well, I haven't seen you guys in, like, forever!
What have you been up to these days?
Well, Ashleigh was just talking about how she made these nametags all by herself.
So cute. And what about you?
Well, she's applying to law school.
It's a visionary objective and nothing will stop her from achieving it.
Oh! Uh-huh.
Wow! You two really stuck together.
You know, I've lost touch with almost everyone from the dorm.
We've been roommates. Oh, that explains it. Yeah.
You really can't help be friends with the people you live with.
Kind of like how we were all friends because the university randomly assigned us to Pierson.
It's not like we had a ton in common or anything!
I guess that's why reunions are so awkward.
Well, if you wanted awkward, you should've been at the ZBZ house last night.
Casey was under some serious mind control.
Were you playing Ouija?
All she was doing was helping with my personal statement, which is the key to my whole future.
Which evidently is more important than your past.
What is your problem? Why are you so jealous of Katherine?
This isn't about Katherine. And my problem is that we're not on the same page at all anymore and you don't even realize it.
It was great to see you both again.
If Huck finds out we have a 16-year-old girl hanging out at the house with alcohol, we'll be kicked off the Row.
Kicked off the Row! And my dad'll get fired for partying with students.
Yeah! OK. Relax, it's just Huck.
We've Dewey and Anthony Hopkins keeping him occupied inside.
We'll just walk our Hilgendorfs out the back gate and in through their front door. All right?
OK!
Um...
Open it!
Un... over the fence.
Over the fence! Who's going over the fence?
One, two, three.
Up, up! Good.
This was a bad idea! A lot of broken glass there.
It seems quiet to me. That's because you're a civilian.
Every night, I train my ears to detect a pin drop.
By dropping pins.
And that was not a pin.
What are they doing?
Uh... tai chi.
Tai chi.
And exhale. Namaste.
Breathe in.
What? I took a Learning Annex class.
Hey, hey, guys! You forgot to unhook the latch.
I just landed in the garden. Our tomatoes are doing great.
Hey, Mom's home!
Well, maybe she won't be that angry with T-Bag...
...T-Dad... your dad. Are you kidding?
If she finds out, she'll divorce Dad, send me off to boarding school and shut your house down.
OK. You know what? Plan B: Rebecca, you and Beav stall Mom.
We'll get them upstairs. OK? Sh, sh!
Um, OK. I'll open a window.
This is not a part of Plan B.
I didn't hear anything. �
What's up? We are giving whoever did this a chance to return the money without all the finger-pointing.
So everyone gets an envelope, which we all have to place in a sealed box in the Chapter Room by tomorrow. Whoever stole the money can return it without anyone knowing. And as long as it's returned, there's no need to punish anyone. Makes sense to me.
Mrs. Hilgendorf, hi! I'm Rebecca Logan, ZBZ's Welcome Wagon.
I'm Beaver. And I'm with her. Trying too hard.
OK.
Watch your head.
So, what were Rebecca and Beaver doing upstairs?
Taking cultures for her bio class.
If I didn't know any better, I'd think they slept together.
They did?! Leave it alone, Spitter.
Hey, this looks like my house! That's 'cause it is.
That's my bed. OK!
Here we go. We're gonna put you in bed. Good idea. I'm tired.
Let's get you in there. Guys, I'm really tired.
We should, like, grab a movie.
Hey, hey! Stay away from my daughter!
Dad!
OK.
He's all tucked in. Spray him and get out of here.
Hey, we could use Rebecca and Beaver to get back at Evan for getting the guys expelled.
We're gonna get back at all the Omega Chis for that, and when we do, we won't need to drag anybody else into it.
We gotta lose the costume, guys.
OK, OK. OK! Get his hat!
Sorry, did you say your name was Beaver?
It's short for "The Beaver."
If you'll excuse me...
Look up here! Look up here!
Look up here! That was the signal. We gotta hurry up.
Just a call... � It's a... Welcome. Good night.
That's Rebecca's necklace.
Damn.
Are you OK? No!
Tom! Thank you.
Yeah.
Time to go to bed. OK, Dad?
Hi, Mom. Dad came down with the flu.
And there are two of us in this friendship. So it can't be all my fault, right?
It's possible, but not very probable. I know!
I mean, yes, I have been a little focused on law school, but she's been dealing with other stuff, too.
And who's to say which one of us turned the page when the other wasn't looking?
I've never been on the same page with anyone.
I joined Gamma Psi only for the networking connections after college.
But Casey, I do consider you to be...
On the same page? I was gonna say a friend.
So we're friends? Yes.
And I was thinking that maybe one day we could be the kind of friends who could read each other's... Minds?
I was gonna say books. Right.
But I think it takes a little bit to get on the same page.
Um, have you read the recent works of Alice Munro?
Um...
The recent works? No.
This is a first edition.
I just wrote my name on the inside cover so you know who to return it to.
Oh. Thanks.
Oh!
And I'm sorry that you and Ashleigh have grown apart.
But it happens to a lot of people at the end of college.
Maybe some people should be around your entire life, and others should just make an appearance.
Hm.
I forgot the smell.
Dryer sheets and...
...and... Mold.
Yeah.
Well, Sunny seemed sunny.
No one should smile that much.
She's gonna need Botox by the time she's 25.
Or a lobotomy.
Hm... - I can't believe this is where we met.
And where we met Frannie. Ugh! You had to say the "F" word.
How different would college have been without this ten-foot, poorly-ventilated and moldy room?
Things were a lot easier back then.
For us. Yeah, we were freshmen.
Our biggest concern was whether or not the dryer was eating our socks.
And now? Now...
...we both have a lot more going on.
Boyfriends in different houses, schedules that demand our attention, plans after graduation that are changing our priorities.
We'll have to work harder to stay on the same page.
Well, we never had to work at it before.
I know. I know.
So do you think that Sunny was right?
We're only friends because of geography?
Maybe that's why we became friends, but I don't think it's why we stayed friends.
So you don't think that we're growing apart?
I think we're growing up.
Ash, I don't want to live in the past. Not with you.
Because if we did, we'd still be... In this laundry room?
Well, I can still read your mind.
So who is Alice Munro?
You know... no clue.
But we got away with it, that's something.
Not really. Guys, I'm a 40-year-old man and I just had to rely on a bunch of guys in their twenties to rescue me and my 16-year-old daughter.
I'm 19. Way to rub it in.
Sorry about hazing you. No, no. No reason to be.
You guys are great. I just don't think I'm supposed to be here.
But you're T-Bag. No, I'm just Dad, and sometimes Professor Hilgendorf.
No offense, but that's depressing.
Yeah, to you, it is. But I like my life, really.
And while it was fun to play around, I belong on the other side of the fence.
What about the rules? Forget about that.
College is not supposed to be about rules. You guys have your fun.
As a matter of fact, have a lot of fun and I will live vicariously through you.
Well, Tom, the table's always open if you want to get Monkey-Humped.
No, I think I'm gonna retire undefeated.
Too bad you won't.
Wow.
Come on, tell me the truth.
You're gonna miss all this, aren't you?
Yeah. I'll miss it.
But it's never the same after you leave.
The truth is you can't go back.
So enjoy it while you can.
Sorry Tom didn't turn out to be much of an adviser.
You know, Spitter, he actually made a lot of sense.
And our books are balanced. Great.
OK. Well, that ends that.
No, um, not quite.
You see, Grant didn't trust you, but I did.
I told him he was wrong to think you stole that money. I told Trip that, too.
What are you getting at? I trusted you.
I marked the envelope to prove that you didn't steal the money.
Cal...
I needed to buy Rebecca a present. I was gonna pay the house back.
Forget it. I don't even care.
This isn't an excuse, but I've been surrounded by money my entire life, including here.
I guess I'm still getting used to it.
It's like you said, living in the straight world.
I'm sorry.
Please tell me you didn't just compare me listening to Lady Gaga to you being a thief and a liar. No, that...
That's not what I meant.
Cal, I'm sorry.
I just hoped you could understand.
I just don't think you understand, Evan.
You gave up that trust fund up because you didn't like what that money was turning you into.
I'm just starting to think the money wasn't the problem.
Well, you're not expelled. We live to party another day.
Thank you, by the way.
And...
...you're welcome.
Why is there hair in it?
Hey, that's the hair of a champion Monkey-Humper.
Don't you think you're giving Evan the wrong idea by keeping that when you don't feel the same way he does?
Evan knew how I felt about that stuff from the start.
And I don't want to get so serious with him.
Or with anyone, for that matter.
It's easier and I'm just not that kind of person.
Why is it so hard to just keep everything casual and fun?
Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.
Hey, I'm the one angsting here.
I'm just not sure I'm ready to graduate and leave here and become the Hilgendorfs.
The whole idea is soul-sucking and kind of scary.
I hear ya. So, what about you and Casey?
I thought you didn't want to be anywhere she isn't.
Well, if she gets into CRU law, then it won't be an issue. For a while.
And if she doesn't?
I don't really know.
But I can't figure it all out today, Becks.
So I'm just gonna hang here and enjoy the sunshine.
Sounds like a plan to me. Oh, yeah.
Mm!
Sounds like quite a laundry room.
Well, the Backstreet Boys were already taken.
And you never found the sock?
No, but I realized that legal precedent isn't all that different from nostalgia.
The law builds on the past, and I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for that laundry room.
And if I had dated a girl who preferred U2 to the Backstreet Boys, I might not be divorced. It's an interesting theory.
Interesting, as in "this girl belongs in law school" or "this girl belongs in a Laundromat"?
I think you know the answer to that.
Thank you.
Thanks.