03x04 - De Rerum Natura

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on "The Path"... That workshop, if I hadn't taken it, I'd be so f*cked. Well, you have me now.

24-hour service.

I think something bad happened to me a long time ago when I was a child.

Well, I have to get out of here.

You mean leave right now? Yeah, I'm gonna talk to Harold, we'll get our things together.

Where are we going? Back to New York.

To the compound? I'm taking it back.

Eddie's hired an SL.

Secular Liaison. She's a publicist.

I have decided to take down the guard booth.

If anyone's here, it's time to come out.

He is just a kid. We can help him.

My husband's away and I need to keep my family safe.

There was a b*mb thr*at in Spring Valley.

Look, the kid is not building a b*mb.

My life's work is studying new American faiths.

I recently came across something that Steve used to use.

The Hypoxian Cleanse.

Listen, if the Hypoxian Cleanse is in there, who knows what else there is?

♪

I enjoyed the other night.

Me too.

Because you seemed, uh...

I couldn't tell if...

I really did have a good time.

Great. Good.

Maybe we can do it again some time.

It's not just academic, my interest in you.

I just needed to say that.

Thank you. - Oh, sh*t.

This is a lot harder than I thought.

Maybe my assistant can...

No. No assistant.

I'd rather not get anyone else involved.

Okay, no assistant.

What is this, anyway? Uh, just something I found in an old box in my mom's basement.

I didn't know anyone else with a projector or whatever it is you need to play it.

Mm-hmm, and you didn't want anybody else to know you were watching it? It's probably just some home movie or something, you know.

I'm not expecting to find anything.

It's just that it's my mom's private stuff, so I wanna be respectful of that.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, there.

I think I got it. All right, cool.

Okay, you ready?

They were so young.

Who are they? Some of the originals.

They climbed Huayna Picchu with Steve.

Huh. - That's my mom.

She looks like you. She's beautiful.

Dad, this is... ♪

♪

Eh... huh.

I don't recognize that place.

Like this? - Yes.

But get on your knees.

♪ Sitting this way hurts, Lil. It should.

Who is he talking to? A woman? I don't know.

It's definitely not my mom or Felicia.

Can you just pause it? - Mm-hmm.

Sure, I'll try.

Can you just rewind it and then...?

Like this? - Yes.

But get on your knees.

Sitting this way hurts, Lil.

It should. It will.

Now, focus.

Well, whoever she is, she's in charge.

Seriously. Who could she be?

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Uh...

Sarah?

What are you thinking?

sh*t.

Um, I-I have to go.

Okay.

Everything okay?

Thank you.

♪

♪

Uh, sir, can I have your name, please?

Where's your father? He should be here.

He's inside, talking with the police.

Well, somebody needs to tell us what's going on.

That's exactly what he is going to do as soon as he's finished talking with the police.

He let a n*zi onto our campus and now there's a b*mb thr*at.

I want answers.

Hi, can I have your name, please?

All clear.

It was a hoax. - You sure?

100%.

No b*mb.

Wow.

All right, in the morning, we should gather everyone in the meeting room and I will give them the lowdown.

What will you say?

That it's safe to go home.

And if they ask you if it has something to do with Logan?

I don't know.

Okay, the police don't know.

Hate crimes are on the rise everywhere.

Don't tell them that. - Why?

What do you want me to tell them?

That I made a bunch of mistakes, first by removing security?

No. - Look, I want you to know that I still believe that I was right about that kid.

He could've been helped. - Okay.

Calm down. I know that, okay?

Look, The Light is supposed to guide my decisions.

The Light is in my instincts.

But apparently, The Light's instincts are sh*t.

And so my instincts are sh*t.

And now I have to go out there in front of everybody...

In front of Sarah... and eat crow.

No, don't do that.

Don't eat crow.

Since "sorry" won't satiate them, it won't diminish their anger.

In fact, it'll make it worse.

You're the prophet who walked through fire.

Go out there and be just that.

The situation is now resolved. Everyone can go home.

And if someone has a problem, guess what?

The gates are still open and they can walk the hell out.

Tell them you take your orders from The Light.

And stay away from "sorry."

♪

♪ I want to thank everyone for coming out this morning, after what I'm sure was a very long night for each and every one of you.

I want to start this off by saying that...

I'm sorry.

I truly am.

I made rash decisions, ignored the ODE, the system... and that was a mistake.

I hope that all of you at least were able to sleep a little bit last night.

I know that's unlikely, but all through the night, I was in contact with the police and they assured me that it is safe to return to the compound.

The thr*at that we received was a hoax.

Your safety and your own sense of safety are very important to me.

I hope that you believe me when I say that.

It was the wrong time to take down our security gate.

But I'm gonna make sure to reinstate those measures as soon as possible.

Now, if anyone has any questions, I'm...

What if something like this happens again?

I truly believe that will not happen.

Does it have anything to do with Logan?

I heard he failed the ODE.

Look, it has nothing to do with the boy that we know of. Okay?

Are they gonna find out who did it?

Look, I asked Officer Banks that same thing and he told me they don't... What's going on?

b*mb thr*at on the compound. Like discussing much during the investigation, but he will keep us updated as things move forward.

Please, I want to answer any question...

Sarah? - That anyone wants to ask, but this has to be done orderly.

Cal. Mary.

Please, one at a time.

What brings you back?

It was time. The police are not discussing the investigation at this time.

But like I said before, I really don't believe that Logan had anything to do with this.

Of course he did it! Well, I trust that the police are looking into everyone.

What do you think about all this, Cal?

You hear about what's going on?

Sounds like everyone's had quite a scare.

Now, look, it's obvious and understandable that tensions are running high.

That makes complete sense.

Where've you been, Cal?

The wilderness.

Florida.

I'm sorry, who are you?

Cal Roberts. Cal, well, this meeting is for Meyerists only, and I think we've answered all the questions we can for now.

Buses are waiting outside and... No, no, it's... it's okay.

Cal is an old friend of ours.

People can be so foolish, so misguided.

But what those without The Light try to do to us?

They want to hurt us. They want to scare us.

But they can't.

They can't because of who we are.

And who we are is a reflection of who we follow.

And who we follow is Eddie Lane.

♪

♪

I-I tried to live outside The Light, but I heard the call.

I was able to hear the call because Eddie took down the walls that surrounded Meyerism.

He flung open the doors, he threw open the curtains, saying to anyone who would listen, "All are welcome.

Even those who have strayed."

And the bravery that took is immense.

♪ My family heard Eddie's call, and we dropped everything.

We drove straight here.

And I... and we... ♪ Would like to stay.

If that would be okay, Eddie.

♪ Of course.

Who is it?

It's Eddie.

Hey, man.

Hey.

You know, um, the longer that you are parents, the more you'll learn that teaching consequences is critical.

You cannot betray so many people's trust, disappear, then show back up as if nothing happened.

No, I'm not pretending nothing happened.

To be completely honest, Cal, I don't even know if you deserve to be let back into this community at all.

Much less be let back in with this amnesia you wish that we all had.

You will not be allowed to enjoy the same privileged status you had before you left.

I know what it looks like.

But I'm sincere.

All right, we tried to live without this place.

But we couldn't.

Yeah, it's true. We... we couldn't and we want our son to be raised here.

Great. Then you will be willing to accept the consequences.

You and Mary and Forest will be assigned to Dorm Seven on the East Campus with the Novices.

And from day one, you will be included in the work detail rotation.

From day one. - Why?

Why are you being so vindictive?

I'm not being vindictive.

I'm righteous.

He is the one who kept score, secrets, kept everyone in the dark.

No, it's okay, Mary.

And speaking of raising your son, here.

Forest will need to be Embraced.

What?

You were. I didn't have parents.

Sarah was. But you... your children...

Russel was. - Hawk wasn't.

It is an act of commitment.

A gesture of humility.

Submission.

Those are my terms.

And those are your consequences.

♪

Yes, but get on your knees.

You found the film in the box of clothes for Summer?

Yes. And do you recognize the voice?

Why are you... I was curious.

Would you recognize that, um... that place?

Is it on our campus? I've never seen it before.

But the woman who's talking, it's... it's odd.

It's like she's commanding Steve.

What is this about, Sarah?

You don't know who it is?

You're asking me if I recognize some voice from over 40 years ago.

No. - Okay, listen again.

All right? It sounds like he calls her "Lil."

Like this? - Yes.

But get on your knees.

Sitting this way hurts, Lil.

All right. Did you hear that?

Lil. Did you know anyone named Lil?

Maybe it's Lilith.

It must be Lilith.

Who's Lilith? I've never heard of her.

That's who it has to be.

Because she would talk like that to him.

Who is she? I think originally, she was a patient of his.

Of Steve? Yeah, she was disturbed.

Unwell.

She was in love with him.

She was obsessed, really.

All I remember is, the last time that she visited, it was sometime in the late '80s.

She was erratic and angry.

And she made some crazy claims about Steve.

Well, what kind of crazy claims?

I can't remember. They're just crazy.

It happens, you know, just like Eddie got called a cult leader on a billboard last month.

Why don't you ask your dad when he gets back?

He has a much better memory.

I think I'll make hlelem tonight.

Come in.

I need to talk to you.

Look, Nicole, I know you're upset.

Okay, you've made that clear and I understand.

I know you do.

You know what the end looks like.

Look, I'm not here about Logan.

I am here about the end.

The end of a marriage.

Russel gets back from Peru next month and I think when he does, I want us to... end.

All right. When he gets back, we will sit down. You don't understand.

It's been hell since I unburdened my affair with Sam Field.

And Russel acts polite, says all the right things, but he hates me.

Hates me.

And I thought I could live with it or I had no choice because of the kids, but now that he's been away, I see I can do it.

I will be able to get by without him.

Nicole, you two have been together for 20 years.

And now I'm done. All right, look, I don't feel comfortable talking about this without Russel being here.

All right, this is something the two of you would need to decide together.

I've decided I'm going to let him know when he comes home.

Well, if you've decided, then what are you doing here?

Because you're The Guardian.

I tell you and then you give me your blessing.

Or advise me otherwise, or punish me.

No, we don't... we don't have punishment anymore.

Oh, I...

I know marriage is the cornerstone of The Movement.

Nicole, I'm not gonna be doing any of those things.

That's what Steve did.

I'm not Steve.

But I will pray on this for you.

I don't just want your prayers, Eddie.

I want you to tell me what to do.

I'm not living in Dorm Seven.

All right, we are not living in Dorm Seven.

And why the hell does Forest need to be Embraced?

You're the only father that he needs.

Yeah, I'm the only father he'll ever have.

But, uh, it won't come to that.

Really? 'Cause Eddied seemed dead set to me.

Yeah, well, I have a plan. Talk to Vera?

What's she gonna do? And who is she, anyway?

Well, Eddie listens to her.

She's important, apparently.

More important than Sarah?

Nope. Oh... oh, yeah.

I... you know, I don't know. Um...

I don't think Sarah has much to do with Eddie these days.

How do you know? - I don't.

You two seemed awfully happy to see each other.

I mean, for people that hate each other's guts, you were all smiley-smiley.

I guess you worked out a lot when she came down with that cease and desist letter.

We did.

Or have you seen her other times?

I mean, did you keep in touch with her?

What? No... Mary, what is this?

Did you see her when you went with Harold to Boston?

I'm not gonna talk about this anymore.

Because you came back from that trip strange and that's when you told me about Steve and that's when all this started, the wanting to come back.

You know, I-I am with you.

I have a plan for us.

I know what to do now. All right?

But you have to trust me.

♪

Hey. How you feeling?

No one's ever really, like, kicked somebody's ass for me before.

You mean gotten their ass kicked for you.

But you're welcome. - Yeah.

Is everything okay with the b*mb thr*at?

It was just a hoax.

Yeah, how are the Musa kids?

Oh, um... got some worried parents.

But, uh, I'm smoothing things out.

Hopefully. - Yeah.

♪

♪

But it was so bright.

It was one of those crisp, clear, bright days that belied the fact that it's cold as hell.

It was, it was cold as hell.

And, uh, we were going to the hardware store in that old Army jeep they used to have.

It didn't even have real windows.

But the heater actually worked pretty well.

I remember very distinctly us talking about how toasty we were in there.

"Toasty." Yeah, that was a Steve word.

Sorry, where's this going?

Oh, there's a point. Can we get to it?

Because I'm really busy and... and Eddie, whatever he told you the conditions were, those are the conditions.

He's in charge and I can't change that.

Anyway, a couple of minutes down the road, we saw a man.

A middle-aged man up ahead on the road, walking on the shoulder.

A hat on, all bundled up.

But he... he was freezing his ass off.

I mean, how could he not be?

It was nine degrees outside.

Um, he didn't look up at us when we passed him.

He was just going where he was going.

But then Steve slowed down, pulled over, and... and asked him if he needed a lift.

So... so Steve told me to climb into the back, the man got in, and off we went.

He was on his way to work and he...

Kept his hands in front of the heater vents the entire time.

And they... they made small talk, but not much was said.

And when we got to his restaurant, he was incredibly gracious and thankful.

And Steve said it was no trouble, you know, happy we could help, that sort of thing.

And we drove off feeling good about ourselves.

At least, I felt good about ourselves.

And... well, not five minutes later...

Okay, Mr. Roberts, I-I have to ask you to wrap it up.

Yeah, we're almost there.

So, uh... About five minutes later, we start hearing this, uh, yeah, ca-thunk, ca-thunk, ca-thunk, ca-thunk.

And then... The engine dies completely.

We can coast to the side of the road, but the jeep's dead.

It's just dead.

Never to be resurrected.

And... and wouldn't you know it, now we're the ones bundled up, hands in pockets, freezing our asses off, walking on the side of the road...

This is a very sweet tale, but it's really long and I have a life that's getting short.

And Steve's got a great attitude about it, but I'm less cheery.

Now I'm ten. I'm kinda pouty.

But after about, I don't know, five minutes, literally, the very first car that passes pulls over and asks if we need a lift.

It was a nice, older woman in a white Mercedes.

Steve sat up front with her and, uh, small talked a little bit as she drove us home.

But never saying one thing about the roles being reversed.

You know, ten minutes earlier, not one word.

I remember her making some reference to me as Steve's son.

And... and him not correcting her.

Which... at the time, that made me feel good.

But then she dropped us off back at the compound.

And we were incredibly gracious and thankful.

And she said it was no problem, and we said our good-byes.

And she drove off feeling good about herself, I'm sure.

I don't... I don't get it.

Just help me here.

Who would?

I did ask him, later that night, you know, when we were in our sleeping bag.

And he said that that was our experience, shared with that man... Just the three of us...

Wait, wait. Did you...

Did you just say, "When we were in our sleeping bag?"

I did.

So you... you're trying to tell me...

That Steve was an exceptional man.

Who... he... who taught me many, many things.

♪ And we... we also... often, uh... slept in the same sleeping bag, yeah.

Till I was about, uh... 16.

You're accusing Steven Meyer of molesting you?

Accusing?

♪ Molesting?

Neither of those words feel quite right.

But, uh, yeah.

♪ You're f*cking lying.

You're just trying to blackmail me with your lies, all right?

No, I visited Steve when... when he was sick.

And he... he insisted on giving me a box of letters that we wrote to each other over the years.

But I-I didn't... um...

No, I couldn't look through it until recently.

♪

♪ I didn't go to Eddie with any of this because he's a good soul.

And he did the right thing.

You know, not bury this like everyone else in his position would.

Oh, no, no, no, not him.

No, he'd, uh... he'd hang a lantern on it.

He'd take this tragic situation out of the shadows and into the light.

That would, of course, absolutely destroy The Movement.

Forever.

You know that.

Catholics can figure out a way to justify some priests being pedophiles...

Which is pathetic and horrible and whatever...

But if Jesus himself was proven to be that breed of monster... uh... it'd probably be a deal breaker.

♪ What do you want?

I want what I had.

He can be the... the... the good Jesus.

I just wanna be the CEO.

I wanna be out in front, speaking for The Movement.

Well, I don't know how to make that happen.

I don't know either.

♪ Why?

Why would you want to be here if that horrible stuff happened to you?

Because... it's cold out there, Vera.

It's toasty in the light.

♪

♪

Hey.

Cal went to Boston last month.

Did you two see each other?

Do you wanna sit down? - No.

No, I just... I wanna know what's going on between the two of you, because he came back from that trip shattered.

You know, it turned up a lot of bad things.

Things from his past that you wouldn't know about and...

I just wanna know if you still have feelings for him.

No.

Then why would he come back if it wasn't for you?

I've been wanting to ask you the same thing, Mary.

Why did he bring all of you back here?

Whatever you think exists between me and Cal, it's not real.

There's nothing there.

He didn't come back for me or for you.

He came back for himself, okay?

Don't forget, whatever Cal does, he does for Cal.

♪

Musa's moved all their stuff out.

Should I not have said Gandhi was cooler than Jesus?

It was supposed to be a joke.

Um, no, I'm sure there's some other explanation, Joy.

It probably has nothing to do with you.

Nothing to do with me?

Thanks, Hawk.

Then why isn't he answering any of my texts?

Um, I don't know.

Well, he hasn't reached out to you at all, has he?

Uh... no.

Cal's good at doing all the parts of the job that you don't wanna do.

He can make this entire experience so much better for you... easier.

Then you can just put your focus exactly where you wanna put it, Eddie.

Right, so you have the opposite point of view as Felicia.

Look, this isn't an ideal situation...

That's obvious... but the community is fractured at the moment, clearly.

Mm. - And welcoming Cal back will help the community heal, prodigal son and all.

If you take punitive action against him and his family and his baby and put them in the dorm with the others just to humiliate him, you will look weak and petty.

Now, it's unfortunate, yes, that Cal made a show of us coming back, but people liked what he said.

Mm. - They needed it.

He... he was just...

He was Steve's protégé, right?

Like, some kind of heir apparent?

I guess.

And he f*cked it up. Cal is a snake, Vera.

He's a liar. - So am I.

Which means I can protect you from his less-than-useful trait.

You are the one.

You have the thing, Eddie. It is not about that.

It's always about that.

You have what it is that he wants.

And he can't take that from you because it is you...

Look, he f*cked my wife.

My ex-wife.

Um...

I'm sorry.

I didn't know that.

I think Cal is good for Meyerism.

But I had no idea things were this personal between the two of you.

And if you don't want him around, I understand. I'll... I'll back off.

But if there's any way...

If there's any way you can put that history behind you, then... then just let me know.

Okay?

♪ You're not a snake, by the way.

I-I come from bad stock.

If you come from monsters, does that make us monsters?

No.

No?

Look, we make ourselves who we are.

We decide.

Just like you decided to be a good person.

Somehow, that much I'm sure about.

♪

♪

♪

♪

Let's see, Felicity.

Best and final.

I hate babies.

So you can leave and take the baby or you can stay and the baby leaves alone.

Either way, baby has to go.

♪

Did you get drafted or did you enlist?

By your dad, I mean.

I volunteered.

It's good to see you, Hawk.

You can get out here.

I know you've been pulled in a lot of directions between your mom, your dad, and me, but, uh, one day... soon, I'm sure...

You'll be your own man.

And I very much look forward to meeting that man.

♪

♪

To the truth.

♪

♪

Hey. Yeah, thank you so much.

I really appreciate this. Yeah, sure.

I can't stay long, though. I've gotta pick up my kids.

It's all right, it's just that I can see it so much better from the film than I can on my phone.

Okay, sure. I understand.

It's funny, actually.

I think that my ex-wife has a date.

Huh. That's hard.

Heh, yeah, I guess it is hard.

But it's great, too. I mean, I...

At least I hope it's great.

It's... it is very hard to move forward when... when one partner hasn't and the other one has.

And you are not interested in a word that I'm saying.

No, uh, I am.

It's just that something came to me today.

So I'm...

I thought of something. I'm feeling a little distracted.

Okay. There you go.

I'm an expert at this now.

Um, can you move it forward to the part where, uh, Steve was in the cave with the ropes?

Yeah.

Sarah, I don't know you very well.

But if you choose to... if you want to let me in to what you're looking for, what you're going through, I... Thank you.

I've done what you're doing now and it's terrifying to go through it alone.

Like this? - Yes.

But get on your knees.

There. Pause it.

What is it?

He had inappropriate urges.

He was... trying to choke them from his consciousness.

What if, um...

What if all of this was built on the cravings of a very sick man?

♪

Hey, can I talk to you?

Look, now's not a good time, Hawk.

What do you want?

Right now, with the fight and the b*mb scare and everything, but I just wanted to speak to you about... I can't.

I can't.

Look, I said good-bye to you.

You should probably go.

Now.

Can we... can we talk somewhere privately?

There's no earthly reason why we need privacy right now.

Just say whatever you came to say.

I, um... look, I have a lot of work to do.

I'm giving a youth homily on Sunday.

You were a real assh*le to Joy.

You know that?

You shouldn't just ghost people like that.

It's a shitty thing to do.

She didn't deserve that.

♪

♪

♪

You took everything!

You f*cked her!

I was the son!

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

To stay or to go amounts to the same thing.

Steve?

Do not listen to that man.

Who?

Do not listen to Steve.

You are the true light, not him.

I believe you.

Cal?

Cal.

♪ Are you okay?

No, Eddie.

No, I'm not okay.

♪

♪

Who did this?

Did I do this?

We have to keep walking.

♪

Sarah.

Sarah!

Hey!

Stop!

Sarah!

Try and call her.

Sarah!

Sarah!

♪

Hey.

Where are you coming from?

Long night.

Apparently.

So I have decided to let Cal live off campus and speak for The Movement.

But there will be a higher price.

At least you've learned not to ask for my opinion first.

He has nothing to do with me.

♪ I took the medicine last night.

You were there.

I was on one path, and you were on a different one, heading in a different direction.

You weren't lost.

But you weren't coming back.

I tried calling out to you and... nothing.

♪ Is there something you wanna talk about?

Is there something you wanna talk about?

Where were you going?

Where did that path lead?

Sarah.

Where are you going? - I can't.

Tell me. I don't... Let go of me.

Sarah.

You just stop?

Just answer me. Where are you going?

And why?

♪ Sarah.

♪

We don't use the white rooms anymore.

Well, I'm reinstituting them.

You're punishing me?

This is not a punishment.

This is an intervention.

I can't be in here. What about my kids?

That is what the community is for.

To take care of things while you get the time to deal with the things that you need to deal with.

Before walking away from a marriage, you need to think long and hard and silently.

You need to fast and struggle.

You need to rip your f*cking hair out.

And then you decide if you really want to walk.

Because once it's over, it's over.

♪

Did you get the dumplings?

You are the best.

♪ Did you know that my father preyed on little boys?

I didn't know that.

That is very sad.

I tried to help him with his urges, but he didn't tell me what they were.

How did you find out about this?

Cal. Cal Roberts.

I know who he is.

Yeah. Steve abused him.

Does Eddie know?

No.

Cal blackmailed me.

He wants a bigger audience.

I help Eddie accept him into the fold and he doesn't say a word.

Everything works out in your favor.

In our favor.

Our favor.

Okay.

Mom... - No.

Mom... Mom... - Vera.

I want to be normal.

Okay? I just want to be a normal person I want to be the Secular Liaison for the Meyerist Movement.

And I want to be ignorant of the signs and the end.

I don't want to know these horrible things that happen and that will happen. Nobody wants to.

We live in the world where horrible things happen, and we just do our best to be good.

Eddie is good. I'm lying to him and I don't feel good about that.

He is good.

And that is why our work is so important.

Eddie can spread The Light that I encountered when I was a young girl.

And that was a light that was so... so beautiful.

And you... you're helping him to do that.

So wash your hands, eat something.

Things will look different in the morning.

♪

You will fail.

And others will fail you.

Because that is what humans do to each other.

But through it all, you will have a father.

A real father.

Who will never fail you.

And whom you can never fail.

I am your spiritual father, Forest Roberts, always and forever.

I am yours and you are mine.

♪

♪