Malila: The Farewell Flower (2017)

[bunniefuu]

Like an offering ornament handled with great care Scented and anointed It may please the deity Once the wish is granted and the task accomplished Dumped and discarded It becomes a piece of trash A Thai classical poem from the 19th century

Do you know… what is the hardest part of making a Bai Sri?

The leaves and flowers will wither.

They will wither before you finish it.

You have to touch the leaves lightly…

but you must fold them tightly.

One mistake can ruin everything.

It looks like fingers.

Yeah. It's beautiful.

Not really.

You can see that the two sides are unbalanced.

That's why there are holes where air can pass through.

The flowers will wither before I finish making the whole thing.

White jasmines are too fragile.

I still can't make a good Bai Sri.

But one day, I want to make one for you.

Malila: The Farewell Flower

-Sister. -Yes?

You can plant the new jasmine tree in the free plot.

But the plots where we've just pulled the dead trees out, you have to wait for them to dry.

-Please also remove the weeds. -Okay.

-Hair. -Hair.

-Body hair. -Body hair.

-Nails. -Nails.

-Teeth. -Teeth.

-Skin. -Skin.

-Skin. -Skin.

-Teeth. -Teeth.

-Nails. -Nails.

-Body Hair. -Body Hair.

-Hair. -Hair.

Shane.

Why are you looking at the Bai Sri here?

I'm not.

Really?

The Bai Sri you made is beautiful. This is the first time I've seen it.

I didn't realize these Bai Sri were so heavy.

How long are you going to stay here?

For a while.

I never believed it when they said your mother was a witch.

It was so absurd.

Do you know what they did to my mother?

They stepped on fire and then kicked my mother's body.

She kept crying and wriggling around.

I wasn't sure if she was pretending.

I meant to go to your mom's funeral.

That's all right.

I heard you've got cancer.

Yeah.

I have lung cancer.

I had an operation and chemotherapy.

Then they found cancer in my lymph nodes.

Why?

Who knows?

What are you going to do?

Don't you have to go to a hospital?

I'm not getting any more treatment.

I take some herbal medicine, and I'll continue making Bai Sri.

Maybe you're cured.

Can you help me carry it?

You won't keep it?

I have to let it float down the river.

I didn't know you owned a jasmine orchard.

I remember you loved flower making, so I tried to grow some.

Do you remember our favorite place?

I want to go there.

My daughter d*ed there. You know that, right?

That morning, I ran there… When I got there,

do you know what I saw?

A python…

It was there next to the anthill…

Have you ever hugged the dead?

That was not my daughter.

There was no strength.

There was nothing inside.

Every part of her was like liquid.

Like water…

She's dead.

She knows nothing now.

It's completely overgrown.

You haven't been in there for years, right?

The day your daughter d*ed… you were drunk, right?

No wonder your wife left you.

But I can understand.

If it was me, I'd do the same.

Remember when I ran away to Bangkok?

It hurt me a lot that you didn't come along.

I felt worthless.

But now you're the one who's worthless.

Drinking all day. Good for nothing.

Shane.

I feel like I want to make a Bai Sri whenever I'm here.

Really?

My health gets better when I start creating a Bai Sri.

It helps me more than any medicine.

It's all in your head.

Maybe.

But my health really gets better after I create one.

Whenever my health get worse, I keep making new ones.

I'm tired.

If you were me, you wouldn't worry about such things.

You know what?

When I had chemotherapy, my doctor told me modern medicine had less side effects than in the past.

My friends gave me moral support so I would recover.

So I tried…

but what happened was, I puked. I sh*t my pants. Lost my hair. Even my pubic hair.

It was like that for years.

I didn't care who lived or d*ed because my condition was far worse.

Do you know what my doctor told me after the therapy was over?

The cancer was spreading. I needed more therapy.

I told him I'd had it. After that, I turned to traditional doctors.

I went to meet a herbalist in Rayong province.

Everybody said he was good.

It was okay at first, but soon my fever was back again.

I drove back to Bangkok with a 40-degree fever.

My car almost crashed, but I survived.

When my health started getting better, I stopped trusting other people.

I only believe in myself.

I'm going to do whatever makes me happy.

Because you want to start your new life…

I want to create a Bai Sri for you.

They say when you suffer, you lose your spirit.

Bai Sri will call back the spirit to live within the body again.

That's a lot.

Yes.

450 grams.

200 grams.

-This one is 400 grams. -Okay.

The scar is from the biopsy the doctor did.

This is the scar from where they took my heart away.

Does it make you sad?

Not really. It's beautiful in its own way.

You sound happy.

I'm proud of each one I make.

But once I set it afloat, I feel complete.

I want to become a monk for a while.

Maybe it could heal you.

But I'm getting better now.

Can you create a Bai Sri for my ordination ceremony?

Okay.

I'll do my best.

I'll be a monk for a while.

When I leave the monkhood…

can you live with me?

It's almost Buddhist Lent.

You shouldn't stay in monkhood for such a short period.

Yes.

Go to see Venerable Noi on Monday.

He will help you rehearse the ordination chanting, so you can chant it correctly on the actual day.

Okay.

I have something for Pich.

This is the medicine for him.

You can take it with Western medicine.

They can go together.

Thank you.

Did you see Pich when his condition got worse?

No.

When I saw him last year at his mother's memorial service, he was so skinny, but he ate a lot, and then he threw up.

Maybe it was because of his karma.

It's good that you want to be a monk for him.

Good karma from that may help him.

Or if he dies, his soul will go to a better place.

Okay.

Your body is too warm.

It's like this.

It's getting warmer.

If you can't stand me…

we don't have to be together.

I don't want you to suffer because of me.

Are you okay?

Do you have leprosy?

Answer me.

Answer me, "No."

No.

Concentrate… Okay.

Do you have the abscess disease?

No.

Do you have ringworm?

No.

Do you have bronchiectasis?

No.

Do you have epilepsy?

No.

Are you a human?

Yes.

Are you a man?

Yes.

Pich. Pich!

Pich!

Pich!

If I die, will you become a monk for me?

Do you want me to?

It's up to you.

I'll never know anyway.

Shane, tomorrow we will be staying somewhere else.

This is the last day we come to collect alms at this village.

The new place where we'll stay is two hours from the village.

You have to leave earlier, or it will be too late for collecting alms.

We already leave very early every day.

When there's enough light for you to read your own palms, it's time for you to leave.

There are clashes between soldiers in this area.

They always dump dead bodies around here.

There was a monk wandering around here without informing the army.

He was accidentally sh*t to death.

Have you informed the army?

The place where we're going is safe.

Before you became a monk, what part of the armed forces you were in?

I was in the Royal Thai Army.

At first when other monks mentioned the Venerable-Colonel, I didn't know it was you.

Welcome, sir!

It's medicine. Someone offered it to me.

How many spoons of rice did you have?

After I counted 20, I forgot to count more.

Next time you have to concentrate.

You need to be conscious all the time.

Only recognize what's in front of you and be conscious of it.

Okay.

You were sleeping under the tree?

Why didn't you look for a better shelter?

It was raining, but I vowed that whatever happened, I would meditate only under the tree.

At the cemetery, I will also practice the nesajjik'anga, where I can't lie down. Will you do that with me as well?

I will try to do that next time.

You can try the practice that suits your habit.

I've dedicated my life to this.

If you find that any of the rules are a problem, you don't have to follow them.

It's not mandatory.

The cemetery here is the best.

There are sh**t in this area.

They dump the corpses here.

Sometimes they cremate the corpse, sometimes they don't.

Last time I was here, when it rained, there was the smell of corpses everywhere.

Did you see any ghosts?

Sometimes.

They are ghosts of strangers.

If we don't bother them, they won't show themselves.

We can only see ghosts of people we know.

Did you talk with the ghosts?

No, I didn't.

Shane, we should find a place to hang our mosquito net.

Somewhere far from the funeral pyre.

Walk around to see what there is.

Remember what you see are trees, a funeral pyre, an anthill. Recognize their shapes.

That way, at night, you won't think that they're ghosts.

If you're thirsty, there's a stream an hour from here.

I will take you in the evening.

Okay.

Let's go.

Shane, I found a corpse over there.

Do you want to practice meditation with me?

Okay.

When you meditate with the corpse, you have to stare at it. Remember how it looks.

Remember the color and the shape, and how the corpse is lying on the ground.

Remember, then close your eyes, and imagine what you saw.

If you forget how it looks, open your eyes and look at it again.

You have to remember the image and keep repeating.

Okay.

Let's go look at the corpse.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

Keep chanting.

Look at the way the corpse is lying, what it looks like.

Consider the truth in front of you.

Are you okay?

I'll find you some water.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

The corpse is filthy and full of worms.

Monk Sanchai.

Monk Sanchai.

I've collected the alms.

Are you all right?

Monk Sanchai.

I can't help…

I can't help…

I can't help…

I can't help…

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.