05x19 - Chapter One-Hundred

[bunniefuu]

Ah, friends.

Where to start?

With the accidental insemination?

With the love story?

With the heartbreak?

J.R. broke up with me.

With the friendship...

I'll just ask one of my sisters for an egg.

I don't want to complicate our friendship.

With the marriages...

With the family...

With the career high...

The auction's over.

$500,000.

You did it, Jane.

With the three women...

At the end of the day, those three women.

Yes, friends, let's start there.

Since that's where our story began...

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was a much younger girl, she had to face the unthinkable...

What do you mean the telenovela's gonna end?

Well, they just revealed the last big secret.

So the show's almost over.

Forever?

But Lina watches Days of our Lives with her family, and they're on season 34.

Yes, friends, our Jane never loved endings.

And yet, here she was, facing a doozy.

I just don't think I can say goodbye.

To the couch?

It was our first big purchase together.

How can we just get rid of it?

Just think how happy it'll make someone who didn't just sign a massive book deal.

Come on.

You said you wanted to splurge on something.

And I will, just not a $5,000 couch Mateo's gonna jump all over.

Hey, guys...

Can you please tell her that she has to buy something with her book advance?

Tell him I'm going to after I finish the first round of notes from my editor.

I just want to make sure that they like it, since - they're paying...

- Say it.

Half a million dollars!

Who... what, are you guys over it already?

Actually, we wanted to have lunch today to tell you something.

Okay.

We're... moving to New York.

What?

So, yeah.

That's the doozy I was talking about.

This Is Mars will be filming there.

So your mother graciously offered to transfer nursing schools.

We didn't want to say anything unless we could convince Darci and Esteban to move.

Your father didn't want to miss out on Baby' childhood.

Not that I want to miss out on your adulthood.

But, uh, New York is just a short flight away.

I get it.

Of course.

So when are you moving?

Three days after the wedding.

Wow.

Okay.

Well, it's a good thing that we're not going on a honeymoon right away.

I'm gonna miss you.

Me, too.

So much.

Oh!

I can't believe we won't be in the same city.

Oh...

Oh, no, but...

this is good.

This is exciting.

If you say so.

*JANE THE VIRGIN* *JANE THE VIRGIN* Season 05 Episode 19 Episode Title : "Chapter One Hundred" Okay, uh, so, we still have a month.

What do we do?

Just live our lives.

You have to finish - editing your book.

- Exactly.

And I'll take the lead on wedding planning.

You okay?

I just feel like I'm already losing time.

It does go quickly, friends, as you well know.

Ah...

so that's it.

My book is officially finished.

My editor loves the new ending.

And you?

I'm, like, 98 and a half percent there.

But I have accepted I'll never get to a hundred.

Too much anxiety.

The point is, I've typed "the end," and I'm on track for a summer release.

Badass.

Does that mean we can upgrade to a plated dinner?

For $26 a head?

No way.

My abuela's church friends can make their way to the buffet.

They've done it before.

But...

I'm ready to talk all things wedding.

All right.

Let's do this.

God, I love seeing you with that checklist.

What a turn-on.

Why, thank you.

Okay.

The caterer has our deposit.

The cake is confirmed and so is the DJ.

I e-mailed all the vendors and the guests to remind them that the marathon is this weekend, so traffic will be crazy.

Look at you talking all dirty.

Lina has confirmed that the wedding dress is in transit.

And, ah.

Now onto some open questions.

- Hit me with them open questions.

- Are we...

sleeping together or apart the night before the wedding?

- Together.

Definitely.

- Agreed.

And I finished my vows.

Mm.

First time I've ever finished a writing assignment on time.

First time I haven't.

B-Because of my book.

Don't worry, I got this.

I'm not worried.

But there is one more thing we have to do.

What?

Practice our dance.

♪ ♪ ♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm ♪ ♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm...

♪ Ew.

Way too sweet.

I don't want hearts on the place cards.

We're not in third grade.

Are you sure you don't want to invite any more people to the rehearsal dinner?

Hmm?

Jane won't have to spend a dime of that book money...

It's my treat.

Nah.

We want to keep it small.

But if you want to bring a plus-one...

Please.

That's just not what I'm about right now.

I am happily married to the Marbella.

Now let's talk schedule.

Cocktail hour will be from 5:00 to 6:00, followed by dinner.

During dinner, we'll do the toasts.

And yes, - I will be making one.

- Oh, yeah?

Yes.

And it's going to be really funny.

But Petra's not funny.

I know.

But she was so excited, - so just laugh whenever she pauses.

- I will.

Unless she publicly fires someone.

How was the dress fitting?

Amazing.

Lina crushed it.

I'm so happy.

Oh, I can't wait to see you in it.

Oh.

Love you.

See you at home.

Jane?

Hmm?

Hey.

I got your e-mail, and yes, we would love for you to marry our spirits...

Though we are thinking it's more of an after-ceremony private thing.

Great.

Um, but I was actually hoping to talk to you about something else.

Uh-oh.

That's never good.

Of course.

Sure.

What is it?

I found Rafael's birth parents.

Yes, friends, looks like that last secret will finally be revealed.

As you can imagine... or I can...

There are so many ways a story can end.

You found Rafael's parents?

Endings can be dramatic.

Are they crime lords?

- Or shocking.

- Rose isn't his mother, is she?

Or seemingly mundane.

His parents were just...

regular people.

Were?

- They're dead.

- Which, of course, is a different kind of ending altogether.

Oh, no.

Here's everything I could find out about them.

I thought...

you should be the one to tell Rafael.

If I'm cold, I'll go shopping.

I hear there are stores in New York.

Hey.

Where's Mateo?

I have to get home to talk to Rafael.

Upstairs.

He said he's working on some big surprise for me.

Wha...?

Mateo, what did you do?

I unpacked you, so now you don't have to move.

Looks like Jane's son doesn't like goodbyes, either.

Mateo, sweetie, Abuela still has to move.

Why?

You know why.

Because of Papa's show.

That's why Papa has to move, but Abuela could stay here with us.

- No, I can't, sweetie.

- Yes, you can.

You just don't want to.

- That's not true.

- You could - if you wanted to.

- It'll be okay, Mateo.

It's just like we talked about.

Okay?

We'll FaceTime every night.

It's not the same.

It's just not.

Yeah, I know how you feel, buddy.

Hey.

- What took you guys so long?

- We had a little issue, but we're doing better.

Right, Mr.

Sweetface?

Can I sleep in bed with you guys tonight?

No fair!

If he gets to, then we do, too.

- Yeah.

And no tooting, Mateo.

- It's not tooting if I do it in my sleep.

- Uh, yes, it is.

- It's still tooting.

Official ruling is...

- it's tooting!

- Yeah!

Hey, and try not to do it in your sleep tonight, huh?

So, what do you say?

Family sleepover?

Okay, let's do it.

Thank you.

You are an excellent agent, Barry.

Okay.

The network just dropped the This Is Mars pilot online to generate some buzz before it officially starts airing in the fall.

- Wow.

- I just can't believe it's finally being released to American audiences.

People are watching it right now.

Do you think there's buzz yet?

Probably not.

Xo...

it's happening.

#Mars is already trending.

America loves me!

Oh.

Apparently, America loves NASA.

They just landed another rover on Mars.

Oh, I'll just help you repack to take my mind off it.

But, I mean, it's exciting, no?

Lots of big changes ahead.

Luisa found my parents?

Yes.

And I don't know how to tell you this except to just tell you.

They d*ed in a car accident.

Oh.

I am so sorry.

They lived in Italy.

They owned a bakery.

- It's all in there.

- A bakery.

Wow.

How normal.

I-I guess I was expecting something, um...

Straight out of a telenovela?

Bigger.

Crazier.

Like I said.

I know it's a terrible time to find out, right before the wedding.

No.

Actually, it's the perfect time.

I think a few months ago I would have been devastated.

But all I can think about right now is...

how much I do have.

I mean, I am literally surrounded by family.

So how can I feel anything but gratitude?

Oh...

It's like Chekhov's g*n.

Had to go off!

Oh.

I can't wait to marry you.

Which brings us to...

♪ Da, da, da, da... ♪ Jane, walk faster.

Girls, get back here.

Mateo, why are your pants off?

Luckily, just the rehearsal.

Because this is the third run-through, Abuela.

Never fear, I am here.

Hello, Mother.

Oh.

Come here, my beautiful boy.

I have missed you so much, mwah!

I'm gonna do a reading at the wedding.

Oh, then you have to practice projection, so they can hear you from the cheap seats.

Hello, darling.

Hi.

So, have you written your vows yet?

Tonight.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

The publisher is printing advanced galleys of my book this week.

They're sending them to authors to review.

What?!

That's amazing.

But wait, that's not even the best part.

One of the authors is Isabel Allende.

Isabel Allende might write a blurb for the back of my book!

Oh, Lina, are you okay?

Yes.

I'm sorry.

I'm fine.

Mm-hmm.

Go on.

Isabel Something.

Yay!

Mm...

Okay, I was gonna wait until after the wedding to tell you, but...

I'm pregnant.

Oh, my God.

Congratulations.

Oh...

Which sister gave you an egg?

The pretty one, clearly.

Alexis?

Jackie.

That's what I meant.

I just, I mix them up all the time.

I am so happy for you, oh, and your very lucky baby.

Okay, enough.

I'm supposed to be gushing about you.

Which, for the record, she did.

People think I grew up with four sisters...

but the truth is, I grew up with five.

And I only liked one of them.

Jane, you are...

everything to me.

The person I look up to the most in this world, the person I want to be when I grow up.

And the one thing I know...

is that, uh, becoming Jane's father late in life, has been...

well, the greatest joy of my life.

It's true.

And, uh, tomorrow, I'm so thrilled to be gaining a son.

So, Rafael, I would be honored if you call me Dad.

U-Uh...

Thank you.

Thank you...?

Very much.

Well, you'll sort that out.

So, anyway, there's been a lot of tears shed here tonight, so I think it's time for some laughs.

I always knew Jane was super into weddings, because she was always marrying the ketchups at work.

And Rafael, well, he's always been...

Well, his shirts are so tight, and his pants...

It's okay, Petra.

You don't have to be funny.

No, I wrote these jokes so I wouldn't get emotional like this.

Eh, I don't think it's working.

I just love you two so much.

Your love is something I aspire to.

And I wish you all the happiness in the world, which is a really weird feeling, because I don't usually wish happiness on other people.

I love you.

I love you.

Ah...

Thank you so much, everyone.

We are just...

I also want to make a toast.

Uh-oh.

Jane, a long time ago, I was going through a rough time, and I accidentally inseminated you.

So I just want to take this moment to say...

you're welcome.

Suffice it to say, on that night, there was love.

So much in fact, that suddenly Jane realized something.

Mm.

You have that look.

- You want to go write?

- Quickly.

Is that okay?

- Of course.

Go.

- Okay.

Ugh.

So...

you seemed a little choked up about love.

Oh, please.

Villanueva events are made for people to cry.

It's just how they're constructed.

It's fine.

I'm fine.

Where did Jane run off to?

Ah, there she is.

Wow.

Somebody was inspired by those speeches.

Don't worry.

I won't tell anyone that my wife, the writer, plagiarized her vows.

Oh, I wasn't writing my vows.

I, uh...

I-I just suddenly got an idea for the end of my book that would get me close to 100%, and I e-mailed my editor to see if she could get the file into the printing press in time to get it to Isabel Allende.

Got it.

I was gonna write my vows later tonight.

Well, you know what they say.

It's always best when you just slip 'em in right under the deadline.

We should get back inside.

Dessert's coming.

I definitely ate too much cake.

Yeah.

Me, too.

You're upset, and I get it.

I put Rafael on the spot, but it came from a good place.

Rogelio, it's not that.

I need to tell you something.

I don't think I could move to New York.

Wh-What do you mean, you can't move to New York?

I just don't want to leave my whole family.

And I've been trying to push that feeling aside and support you, but...

I really don't think it's the right move for me.

I mean, I just started getting into the groove with my nursing program.

My life finally feels like it's on track.

So?

So wha-what are you saying?

Because I have to go.

I signed a contract.

Well, I was thinking, maybe we should commute.

Just for this year.

I'll live here during the week, and we'll travel to each other on weekends.

Think about it.

Your hours are long anyway.

It's not like I'd even see you during the week when you're sh**ting.

I mean, I want you to be happy.

W-Will commuting make you happy?

I think it will.

Okay.

Then...

let's do it.

Oh.

Thank you, Rogelio.

So I finished my vows.

And I'm so sorry about earlier.

No.

No.

I...

I overreacted.

Your book is so important.

You're important.

I just wasn't worried about writing my vows because I knew exactly what I wanted to say.

Because I think about how lucky I am to be with you every day.

And I'm so excited about our wedding, but I'm most excited about our future together.

Because it's not like the telenovelas I grew up watching.

The wedding isn't the end.

Our story is just beginning.

Stop rubbing it in!

Thanks.

I think I'm just feeling a little vulnerable.

You know, last night you told me my birth parents are dead, and it didn't even faze me.

Because of how much I love you.

And that's a lot to put on someone.

Not too much.

And just because I can't wait for the future, I don't want to skip this moment.

So let's not wait.

Let's take our honeymoon right away.

OMG.

Is it finally time for that big splurge?

And because we never go on vacations, I have a million points for flights and hotels, so we'll barely pay for any of it.

Nope, guess not.

I'm in.

Oh.

Oh, no.

You have to go.

Turn around and go back home.

Hello to you, too, Ma.

Abuela called.

Thank you, Abuela.

What do you mean you're not moving?

I thought about it, and it's just not what I want.

I mean, I shouldn't have to upend my life.

This isn't the 1950s.

You were the one who looked into nursing schools.

You said you wanted to go.

And I changed my mind.

I want to stay here.

Because Mateo freaked out?

He's a kid, Ma.

He's also right.

I don't have to go if I don't want to, and I don't.

I want to be here for things like your book coming out, and-and dinners and birthdays, and-and...

It's so stupid.

I'm 46 years old, and I've lived near you for my whole life, Mom.

And for your whole life.

You'll recall our Jane wasn't fond of endings.

And now what?

That's just over?

A trait she got from her mother.

You're coming with me to New York?!

Oh, thank God.

I'm so glad.

I love you so much.

And I love you, too!

Oh.

Uh, thanks.

What are you doing here?

Oh.

Oh, I just...

I just came...

to give you this... for the wedding tomorrow.

Is that a... necklace?

Uh, I...

I wasn't planning on wearing any jewelry.

It's a lazo de novia.

It's a Mexican wedding lasso.

Loved ones place it around the bride and groom during the ceremony as a symbol of unity.

My-my father gave it to me, and now, I will like to pass it on to you.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

Also, I wanted to apologize.

I put you on the spot with the whole "dad" thing.

I appreciate that.

But we're in private now, so...

if you want to try it out, that's...

I'm sorry.

It just doesn't really roll off the tongue, but you know I love you.

Is everything okay?

I don't know.

I'm...

I'm blowing up.

Something's happening online, but...

And, friends, that's when he realized...

Oh, my God.

My social media is exploding.

I'm doubling...

No, tripling in followers.

Which means people must be watching the This Is Mars pilot.

This could be it, Rafael.

I-I could be breaking through in America.

Well, I hope so.

Oh, yeah, me, too.

But-but-but we should keep this between us right now because I-I don't want to steal Jane's thunder, you know.

She's getting married tomorrow.

As am I.

I can't believe it.

Our last night together.

I know.

Ah, man.

Who didn't turn out the lights?

Hey, I have a big day tomorrow, remember?

I'm moving, it's so hard.

Okay, okay.

Love you, Abuela.

♪ ♪ I am overwhelmed by the love and support in this room.

♪ ♪ Once upon a time, friends, there was this very moment...

But alas, the moment is already gone.

Everything okay?

My editor.

It's not important.

Today is about...

Him.

Hey, there, my groom.

Hey, bride-to-be, happy wedding day.

So, according to the schedule, hair and makeup should be arriving...

Ah, they just got here.

Oh, great.

And did your editor get your changes in time?

No, but you know what?

It's fine.

They'll make the switch when they print the real book.

But what about Isabel Allende?

She won't read your ending.

There must be something you can do.

Nothing short of hand-delivering a flash drive to the printing press.

Which I would never do on our wedding day.

Don't worry.

I have no interest in running off on some crazy adventure today.

I'll see you at the altar.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Well, she might not be interested, but it looks like he is.

♪ ♪ Hello?

Hello?

Uh, can I help you?

Stop the presses.

Isn't that what they say?

In the 1920s.

I'm sorry.

I-I have a-a huge favor to ask you.

Oh, hey, thanks again, man.

- You're a lifesaver.

- No problem.

- Hey, good luck, buddy.

- Thank you!

Hello?

Hello!

Ah, screw it.

Whoo!

Guess Jane's splurging on that gate.

Oh.

Hi, almost-husband.

Don't worry, I'm right on schedule.

Yeah, our schedule might have to change a little.

I got arrested and I need to be bailed out.

Speaking of family stories, this one would be repeated often.

And then he drove his car through the gate and got arrested so I have to go get him.

But Mom took the car to pick up Jorge.

I'll call a car.

Jane, wait, let me go.

- It's your wedding.

- That's why it has to be me.

What Raf did was so romantic, I have to be the one to go get him!

Sure.

What could go wrong?

Wha...?

Philipe, hey.

What's going on?

It's been saying you're ten minutes away for about 20 minutes now.

I can't get to you because of the marathon.

Can you meet me on Plymouth Street?

It's just a few blocks away.

Uh, y-yeah, sure.

I-I'll be right there.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yikes!

Coming through!

Nice hair.

Thank you.

It's my wedding day!

Oh, sorry.

Got it!

You got it!

- Keep going.

- Thank you.

Ah, Philipe.

And suddenly, in a moment of sheer coincidence or part of the grand plan all along...

Hop on, Jane.

I am so sorry, but is there any way that we could make a quick detour and stop at the police station?

After all this time, doesn't she know how buses work?

You see, I'm getting married today and, well, my fiancé and I have been through so much.

An accidental insemination, a kidnapping, an evil twin, a husband returning from the dead and this is our last obstacle.

So I'm begging you...

Can you please help me?

No.

I will pay you $5,000 to rent out the whole bus.

Guess Jane's finally decided what to splurge on.

What about us?

How much you gonna pay us?

How's, uh, $50 each?

A hundred?

I got things to do, lady.

I got to go to the bank, the dry cleaners, the nail salon...

$200.

Final offer.

Please.

I'm getting married in 56 minutes.

That'll work.

Ah, great!

To the police station.

♪ ♪ All right, we're good.

Oh.

Oh.

Hey, Mom.

Where are you?

We're all here.

I'm coming and I got the groom.

I'll text you the address of where we'll pick you all up.

W-What are you driving?

Is it big enough?

Oh, yeah, I-it's big enough.

Make way!

Make way!

Wedding party of Jane Gloriana Villanueva coming through!

It's okay!

Save the dress!

And, friends, that's when...

Aren't you Rogelio De I.

Vega from that show that just dropped...

The dude from This Is Mars.

Oh, yeah.

You're hilarious, man.

Yes, yes, it is I.

Rogelio De I.

Vega.

American star.

Which he will be very shortly, friends.

In fact, here's a little taste of what's to come.

Cross over!

Yes.

Come on!

Hurry!

Oh!

Excuse me.

Jane, we're here.

Where are you?

Mom!

Let's go!

Ma'am...

you, stand right here.

Sir, can you stand right here, please?

But don't look, either.

Turn around.

Oh, red light.

Hand me the eyeliner.

How's it going back there?

No!

Don't look!

Are you crazy?

You need help?

Oh, yeah, thank you.

Okay, we are now officially late.

Don't sweat it; they won't start without you.

I was a nervous groom once, too, you know.

Actually, three times, but who's counting?

But you are going to get there, and you are going to be so happy together.

Not always, of course.

At times, things will be difficult.

And you will fight, and you will stomp around...

At least that's what I do.

But you will get through the hard times, because there will be so much joy.

Which was true, for the record.

So much joy.

Thank you...

Rogelio is fine.

Now...

Inhala...

Exhala.

Yeah.

Everyone just relax.

They'll be here any minute.

You know, I actually didn't get to do, uh, some of my jokes from the rehearsal dinner.

Anyone want to hear them now?

Not now, not ever.

Oh, my God.

She's here.

OMG.

I'm not ready!

Oh.

Wrong Jane.

But damn, she looks good!

Oh!

What are you doing here?

Rafael called.

- He what?!

- Yeah, he told me that you still had feelings for me, and he made this big speech about how life is too short, and I know it's corny, but my mom just d*ed, and...

I've been thinking about you so much lately.

And honestly, I never stopped loving you, and I just...

Mmm.

I love you, too.

And I'm so sorry about your mother.

Thank you.

I'm sorry about yours.

Oh, don't worry.

She's gone, too.

Ah, yes, and let me show you where she went.

What can I say but...

straight out of a telenovela.

Which brings us back...

Here!

We're here!

I couldn't be more ready.

As you well know, because I've been telling you, telenovelas end with a wedding.

And after a long journey, we are finally at ours.

Aw.

Thank you.

Aw!

Oh!

♪ ♪ It should be noted, at this very moment, Jane's passions included...

her family...

God...

grilled cheese sandwiches...

writing...

and... Rafael Solano.

Thank you all for being here today.

To begin, we have a selected reading from Love is You & Me.

"Love is me, and love is you.

So when you smile, I smile, too." Aw.

"When you're around, the skies are blue.

It's like being happy times two." "Love is fun!

"It's feeling free!

Love lets you be who you want to be!" Wow.

You're using your big-boy voice!

I practiced with Great Glamma.

She said I'd be great at voice-over work.

And for the record, I am.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Now, I will be speaking Spanish, so for those of you who are Spanish-impaired...

...there are translations in the programs.

Which, for the record, was true.

Oh.

We place this around you as a symbol of unity and commitment.

Now the everlasting bond between you is sealed.

Thank you...

Dad.

Oh...

Mom?

No, thank you.

Jane...

you made...

Jane...

you made...

Maybe you should go first.

Rafael, the first time we met, you told me to be brave, and...

Okay.

Rafael...

- Yeah.

- Maybe we should just...

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Sorry.

We're just gonna read...

- them for ourselves.

- Yeah.

Which, friends, they did.

Oh...

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry, Abuela.

Aw!

Rafael, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.

- Alba speaks Spanish...

- Sorry.

- Sorry.

- Jane!

Jane, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bravo!

Whoo!

Thank you, ladies.

Groom!

Groom!

Dad, - get in here!

Come on.

- Come on, baby.

- Lovely.

- Oh, yes, come on, Mateo.

- Yes!

- Oh, yes, Petra, get in here!

- Come, come, come.

Yes!

Luisa!

- Luisa!

- Yes.

- Hi, Baby.

H-Hold, hold.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Here.

Yes...

Darci...

Speaking Spanish...

Oh, my God!

Mmm.

Should we go back inside?

Let's just sit here for another minute.

So, I never asked you.

Hmm?

What happens at the end of your book?

They make it into a telenovela.

Well, who'd want to watch that?