01x08 - Previously On...

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Wandavision". Aired: January 2021 to present.*
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Wanda and Vision move into a New Jersey suburban home trying to fit in while hiding the fact that they are super-powered Avengers.
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01x08 - Previously On...

Post by bunniefuu »

(ANIMALS HOOTING IN DISTANCE)

(SHUDDERING) No, no, no.

Please, no.

No. No, please.

(BREATHING RAGGEDLY)

(GRUNTS IN PAIN)

Agatha Harkness, are you a witch?

Yes.

I am a witch.

Yet you have betrayed your coven.

I have not!

WOMAN: You stole knowledge above your age and station.

You practice the darkest of magic.

I know… I know nothing of these crimes.

I… I swear it.

Enough deception!

I did not break your rules.

They simply bent to my power.

(WITCHES CHANTING IN LATIN)

Wait.

(CHANTING CONTINUES)

No. I cannot control it! I…

If only you would teach me!

Help me! Please!

Mother, please!

Please! Mother!

(JOINS IN CHANT)

No!

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(GASPING)

(CHANTS IN LATIN)

(GRUNTS)

(WITCHES GROANING)

(STRAINING)

(GRUNTS)

(WITCHES YELP)

Please, I can be good.

No, you cannot.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

(GRUNTS)

AGNES: Hmm? Hmm?

What?



No, I know. (CHUCKLES)

She does look shocked to meet the real us, doesn’t she? (CHUCKLES)

Oh…

(LAUGHS) That’s adorable.

My thoughts are not available to you, toots.

They never, ever were.

So don’t go givin’ yourself a migraine.

(CHITTERING)

We’ve got work to do.

Where are my children?

(MOCKINGLY) “Where are my children?”

(SCOFFS) Oof!

That accent really comes and goes, doesn’t it?

WANDA: Where are they?

Oh, your magic’s no good here.

(GRUNTING)

(YELPING)

(GASPING)

Didn’t you notice?

Basic protection spell, one in each wall?

No? Nothing?

These are runes, Wanda.

In a given space, only the witch that cast the runes can use her magic.

How do you not know the fundamentals?

Who are you?

Who are you?

All those costumes and hairstyles.

(AGNES SIGHS)

I was so patient,

waiting for you to reveal your true self.

I got close with fake Pietro.

Fietro, if you will, but no dice.

That was you.

No, it wasn’t literally me.

Just my eyes and ears.

A crystalline possession.

Necromancy was a non-starter since your real brother’s body is on another continent.

Not to mention, full of holes.

But you’re so crippled by your own self-doubt that you believed it.

Oh, Wanda, oh, when I sensed this place, the afterglow of so many spells cast all at once…

Oh, I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

(CHITTERING)

(CHANTING IN LATIN)

Mind control.

A classic.

Quick incantation and a feeble psyche and you’re good to go.

(WANDA GASPING)

With thousands of people under your thumb, all interacting with each other according to complex storylines.

Well, that’s something special, baby.

And of course, there’s transmutation.



(CHANTING IN LATIN)

Years of study to achieve even the smallest convincing illusion.

But Westview through your lens, Wanda…

(BIRD SQUEAKS)

Every little detail in place down to the crown molding.

You’re even running illusions miles away at the edge of town.

Magic on autopilot.

(BIRD SQUEAKING)

(INHALES SHARPLY)

What’s your secret, sister?

Listen, I need you… Hey, Wanda, I need you to tell me how you did this.

I didn’t do anything. I’m not…

(PANTS)

(GRUNTS IN PAIN)

I tried to be gentle, to nudge you awake from this ridiculous fantasy, but you would rather fall apart than face your truth.

You left me no choice.

What was it you said to your not-brother? Hmm?

All you could recall was the feeling.

You felt empty. Alone.

Endless nothingness.

Let’s start there.

It’s been fun playing pretend for a while, hasn’t it, Wanda?

(CHANTING IN LATIN)

(SOFT GASP)

But it’s time to look at some real reruns.

All right, let’s go.

No.

AGNES: Oh, I’m sorry.

Did you forget who’s got your children stashed away in her bewitched basement?

TOMMY: Mom! Mom! Help, please, Mom!

BILLY: Mom, help us!

(GASPING)

AGNES: That’s right.

(DOOR CREAKS)

After you, superstar.

Oh.

Charming. Love the Cold w*r aesthetic.

Why are we here?

Mama…

OLEG: Irina?

(SPEAKING SOKOVIAN)

Papa…

Oleg…

Hey.

(IN SOKOVIAN)

(IN ENGLISH) In English, Papa!

WANDA: Pietro…

Oh, he’s loud, isn’t he?

You said the only rule of TV night is we try to practice our English.

Yeah. Yes, he is right.



We were just making rid of last little bit of Sokovian.

Where is your sister?

(SHOUTING) Wanda?

I mean, we’re right here.

Wanda?

That’s your cue, lady. You’re on.

Hey.

(CHUCKLES)

(KISSES)

Now we can begin. Wanda, you pick.

My pick isn’t here.

I have forgot.

I put it in the special place for extra safekeeping.

(CHUCKLES)

Don’t look.

(GIGGLES)

Good job.

Hold this.

(CHUCKLES)

(MUFFLED g*nf*re)

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

(g*nf*re CONTINUES)

This is your pick, yes?

Season 2, Episode 21.

d*ck Van d*ke again? Always “sitcom, sitcom, sitcom…”

The Walnut episode! (SPEAKS SOKOVIAN)

(IN ENGLISH) Yes, Rob and Laura have for the most fun shenanigans.

YOUNG PIETRO: What is “shenanigan” again?

Shenanigan is like problem, but more silly than scary, but can sometimes be a little scary.

Yeah, like mischief.

But a silly mischief that always becomes fine.

IRINA: Okay, Papa start it for us.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

The d*ck Van d*ke Show, starring d*ck Van d*ke.

OLEG: Hmm.

(ALL LAUGH)

And Mary Tyler Moore.

(KISSES)

(INAUDIBLE)

(LAUGHS)

(expl*si*n)

(OBJECTS SHATTERING)

(MUFFLED ENGINE ROARING)

(expl*si*n)

(MUFFLED ENGINE HUMMING)

(WEAPONS WHIZZING)

Wanda!

(EXPLOSIONS)

(WEAPONS WHISTLING)

(a*t*matic g*nf*re)



(IN SOKOVIAN)

(ENGINE WHOOSHING AND RUMBLING)

(AIRCRAFT FLIES OVERHEAD)

SALLY: Oh, I heard a scream. d*ck: Oh, I must’ve screamed.

Oh, what a night nightmare.

I dreamed that I was a Twiloite.

And then I lost my sense of humor and my thumbs… Oh.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

At the end of the episode, you realize it was all a bad dream.

None of it was real.

(m*ssile BEEPING)

(YOUNG PIETRO IN SOKOVIAN)

(GASPS)

Did you stop that b*mb?

What? (BREATHING SHAKILY)

You used a probability hex.

No, I… (PANTING)

It just never went off. It was…

It was defective. We didn’t know that.

We were… We were trapped.

For how long?

Two days.

Huh.

So much trauma…

(WIND WHISTLING)

…and yet you were safe as kittens the whole time.

So, what I see here is a baby witch, obsessed with sitcoms and years of therapy ahead of her.

Doesn’t explain your recent hijinks.

Where’d you get the big g*ns, Wanda?

I don’t wanna go back there.

I know you don’t, but it’s good medicine, angel.

The only way forward is back.

(DOOR UNLOCKS)

(BREATHING SHAKILY)

(SMACKS LIPS)

Ah, Wanda. The rebellious years.

Quick question, your reaction to the bombing of your civilian apartment building and the m*rder of your parents was to join an anti-freedom t*rror1st organization.

We wanted to change the world.

Don’t be scared. You already lived it once.

(SCEPTER HUMMING)

SCIENTIST: For our notes, Miss Maximoff, can you please state your name and confirm your status?

Wanda Maximoff. Volunteer.

Begin experimentation.

Doctor, with respect, not one subject has survived direct…

(BUTTON CLICKS)

Touch the sample.

So I… I just…

(RATTLING)

(SCEPTER HUMMING)

(expl*si*n)

She’s still alive. Get her to isolation now.

(SINGING ON TV) Baby, Baby and doll…

(CINDY SHUSHING)

BOBBY: Why do I gotta…

CINDY: (SHUSHES) Because I’m putting my baby to sleep, that’s why.

SCIENTIST: Play it again.

Again.

It makes no sense.

(BEEPING)

What happened in there?

CINDY: (ON TV) You stop that. You’ll hurt her feelings.

BOBBY: She hasn’t got any feelings.

She’s full o’ sawdust or rags or somethin’.

(CINDY RESUMES SINGING)

BOBBY: A guy can’t even practice his kazoo anymore!

(PLAYING KAZOO)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

So, little orphan Wanda got up close and personal with an Infinity Stone that amplified what, otherwise, would’ve d*ed on the vine.

The broken pieces of you are adding up, buttercup.

I have a theory, but I need more.

(PORTAL WHOOSHING)

AGNES: Oh.

MAN ON TV: Wait!

AGNES: Oh, Wanda. Movin’ on up.

So, where are we now?

The Avengers compound.

It was the first home Vision and I ever shared.

Pietro was dead and I was in a new country.

I was all alone.

(INDISTINCT TV CHATTER)

Vision?

I apologize. I don’t mean to intrude.

You don’t?

Well, I suppose, yes, I did intend to come in here.

And now?

And… Well, whatever is your preference.

(UPBEATS MUSIC PLAYS ON TV)


(HAL SCREAMS)

Is it funny because of the grievous injury the man just suffered?

No, he’s not really injured.

Ah.

How can you be certain?

It’s not that kind of show.

Wanda, I don’t presume to know what you’re feeling, but I would like to know.

Should you wish to tell me.

Should that be of some comfort to you.

What makes you think that talking about it would bring me comfort?

Oh, see, I read that the…

The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again.

(WHISPERS) Sorry.

I’m…

I’m so tired.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

It’s…

It’s just like this wave washing over me, again and again.

It knocks me down, and when I try to stand up,

it just comes for me again.

And I…

It’s just gonna drown me.

No. No, it won’t.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

How do you know?

Well, because it can’t all be sorrow, can it?

I’ve always been alone, so I don’t feel the lack.

It’s all I’ve ever known.

I’ve never experienced loss because I have never had a loved one to lose.

But what is grief, if not love persevering?

(LAUGHS)

Sorry. Pardon.

(CHUCKLES) No, it was funny.

Yes, it was very funny, wasn’t it?

Mm. (CHUCKLES)

(AGNES SIGHS)

AGNES: So, to recap.

Parents dead, brother dead, Vision dead.

(SIGHS)

What happened when he wasn’t there to pull you back from the darkness, Wanda?

I can’t do this anymore.

Come on, Wanda!

You’re on the precipice. You are right there!

Tell me how you did it.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

Vision was gone.

But you wanted him back.

I wanted him back.

I wanted him back.

I know you have him.

I’m sorry, but like I said…

Please…

(SCOFFS)

Please.

When I came back, he was gone.

His body.

And I know he’s here.

He deserves a funeral, at least.

I deserve it.

(PHONE RINGING)

Yes, sir.

Yeah, she’s still here.

Are you sure?

Of course.

Through the doors. Down the hall.

Two lefts and a right.

One moment. I have to buzz you in.

I got it! Thanks.

(LOCK BEEPS)

Wanda Maximoff? It’s an honor to meet you.

Truly.

Who are you?

Director Tyler Hayward.

I understand you’re here to see the Vision, to recover the body, that is, is that right?

Well, I’m his next of kin.

I understand.

I’d like to show you something.

And then you’ll give him to me?

Please, just come with me.

(TOOLS WHIRRING)

What is this? Why are you showing me this?

Because you asked to see it.

(SHUDDERING) Stop… Stop…

Stop it!

What…

What are you doing to him?

We’re dismantling the most sophisticated, sentient w*apon ever made.

But Vision’s not a w*apon. You can’t do this.

In fact, it is our legal and ethical obligation.

I just wanna bury him. That’s all I want.

Are you sure?

Excuse me?

Not everyone has the kind of power that could bring their soulmate back online.

Forgive me. Back to life.

No, I can’t do that. It’s…

That’s not why I’m here.

Okay.

But I cannot allow you to take three-billion dollars’ worth of vibranium just to put it in the ground.

So, the best I can do is, let you say goodbye to him here.

WANDA: He’s all that I have. HAYWARD: Well, that’s just it, Wanda.

He isn’t yours.

(PEOPLE SCREAM)

HAYWARD: Fall back.

It’s fine. Let her see for herself.

I can’t feel you.

I can’t feel you.

(CAR LOCK BEEPS)

(ENGINE STARTS)

(GASPS SOFTLY)

(SIGHS)

(CRYING)

(SOBBING)

(SCREAMING)

(PANTING)

Wanda.

Welcome home.

Should we stay in tonight?

(REMOTE CLICKS)

(AGNES SLOW-CLAPPING)

Bravo!

TOMMY: Mom! Mom! Mom, help us!

BILLY: Mom! Help!

TOMMY: Please! Please help us! Mom!

(WANDA PANTING)

BILLY: Mom! Please!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Mom! Mom!

I know what you are.

Mom!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.

(CHOKING)

You have no idea how dangerous you are.

You’re supposed to be a myth.

A being capable of spontaneous creation, and here you are, using it to make breakfast for dinner.

Let go of my children.

Oh, yes, your children.

And Vision, and this whole little life you’ve made, this is Chaos Magic, Wanda.

And that makes you the Scarlet Witch.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

AGENT: Sir, the team is ready for launch.

It’s about time.

We took this thing apart and put it back together again a million times.

Tried every type of power supply under the sun, when all we needed was a little energy directly from the source.

AGENT 2: Ready, sir.
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