17x07 - Helplessly Hoping

[bunniefuu]

[CELESTE'S "LITTLE RUNAWAY" PLAYS]

MEREDITH: This job isn't easy.

The sheer amount of pressure and loss

that we square off against every day...

♪ I don't see nothin' comin' ♪

...can leave you exhausted..

♪ Maybe they were all misplaced ♪

...or helpless.

You're okay.

You're okay.

♪ Good news, I could use some ♪

You're going to need to find an outlet for the stress.

♪ One man revolution ♪

[CELLPHONE VIBRATING]

♪ Hallelujah, take me to ya ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm lost alone again ♪

- ♪ Hallelujah, take me to ya ♪

- Maybe it's physical...

♪ I don't believe, but I'll pretend ♪

...maybe it's emotional...

♪ Your little runaway is runnin' out of faith ♪

[CELLPHONE RINGS]

Hey, buddy.

Hey!



- Hi.

- Oh, you're so big.

Mommy misses you both so much.

I love you, Mommy.

I love you.

I miss you.

...maybe it's family...

♪ Runnin' out of faith, so if you can ♪

...but trust me, you're not going to survive residency

unless you have a happy place...

♪ 'Cause I'm waitin' ♪

♪ Hallelujah, take me to ya ♪

...somewhere that you can just escape it all.

♪ 'Cause I'll be waitin' ♪

[SIREN WAILS]

I need another ABD.

Why aren't we there yet?

We're going as fast as we can without crashing.

BEN: Uh...

You need to tell them it's him so they're ready.

Okay, Carina, I know you are scared, but this isn't helping.

"B." "B"?

"B" what, buddy?

"B" positive.

That's my blood type.

We'll call ahead and make sure they know.

Give me a x .

Andrea, you are gonna be okay, Andrea, okay?

[GROANING]

Okay?

♪ REZA: Val Ashton.

Two days post extended liver resection.

LFTs are still elevated.

Blood cultures are growing gram-negative bacteria.

How are you feeling?

Any tenderness or nausea?

Honestly, I think I can get out of bed and do a couple laps.

She's still septic.

Start her on Levophed, add an antifungal, and order a repeat CT.

You feel like crap, and you're acting like you don't.

Why would I...

So I'll let you out of bed so you can see Luna.

I've tried this your way.

It isn't working.

Val, I know that this...

Please don't say you know how this feels, because I like you, and I want to keep liking you.

But unless you've had a baby that you haven't been allowed to hold or even see in person her whole life, you don't know.

[SIGHS]

I finally got a hold of Luna's father.

He signed over his parental rights.

Isn't that what you wanted?

Yeah.

But I expected at least a little fight.

Not a text back that says, "Good luck."

Baby emoji.

So, yes, I feel like crap.

I feel sick down to my bones that I made a child with someone who doesn't even care she exists.

♪ Let's get the sepsis under control, and then we can talk about seeing Luna.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[SIGHS]

They were out of oat milk, so it's gonna be almond.

Savages.

Right?

Mm.

Hmm.

You should eat.

Coffee first.

And I don't need a speech about breakfast and nutrients for my brain because my brain is finally turned off.

I'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Want to get some fresh air?

We could go for a walk.

I'm right where I want to be.

♪ ♪

Maggie, I don't know if you are asleep or if you are ignoring me or the world entirely, but call.

LINK: Still nothing?

Uh, she could be passed out on the floor from COVID, and no one would know.

Or...

Or she could be hit by a car on the I-94 on the way to Wyoming.

- What's in Wyoming?

- I don't know.

But one sister's on a vent and the other one is missing, and the last time a sibling was missing, he was dying on the side of the road, so...

Is my mommy gonna die?

Uh...

It's okay.

You can tell me.

[SIGHS]

Come on, Zo.

Let's go inside.

[SIGHS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

I called up to the blood bank to have type "B" blood on standby.

Hopefully, it's a sign.

You know, "be positive"?

Rig's here.

Carina, what the hell?

- It's Andrea.

- What?

s*ab wound to the abdomen, possibly into the chest.

Slightly hypotensive and tachycardic after one liter of NS.

- What happened?

He was following a sex trafficker, and she att*cked him.

They got her.

I-I think I'm okay.

OWEN: DeLuca, try not to talk.

It's Dr. Hunt.

You're at Grey-Sloan.

Let's get him to trauma one.

Let's move.

Schmitt, let's go.

- Owen.

- Yeah?

Please save him.

Please.

Okay.

♪

- [GROANS]

- There's fluid in his abdomen and around his heart.

- How you feeling, DeLuca?

- Like I got stabbed.

Chest films are up.

- [GROANS]

- Okay, let me see.

DeLuca, you have a hemothorax.

I'm gonna have to place a chest tube, okay?

- Great.

- Schmitt, hang another unit.

[GROANING]

[GRUNTING]

Here it comes.

Ready?

[GASPING]

BP's still dropping.

Okay, let's call the O.R.

Tell them we're on our way up, okay?

- Hey, I want to go with him.

- DELUCA: Carina, no.

Andrea, I want to come with you.

Carina, he's right.

Please.

Okay, ready?

We good?

Oh, God.

Okay, good.

Let's go.

Move.

♪

[SOBS]

♪

Uh, Dr. Webber.

Um...

There's a...

a huge trauma that just came in, and, um...

Well, did Hunt ask for help?

No.

Uh...

Did he ask you to come to stare at me?

It's, uh...

It's DeLuca.

He's been stabbed, and, um, I saw him, and I-I wish I hadn't, but, um, I did, and I thought you should know.

♪

[SEAGULLS CRYING]

Hey!

Hey yourself.

[SIGHS]

Impressive.

Your turn.

Let's see what you got.

- Okay.

- [CHUCKLES]

There you go.

Just gotta put a little bit more muscle into it.

Yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, this is the first time in my life I can ever remember not feeling competitive.

Is this your life?

What?

Well, you said the first time in your life, but I don't know.

I'm not so sure.

Are we alive?

I think so.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

You look good.

The beach suits you.

You too.

[SIGHS]

I made Zola a grilled cheese.

She's watching a movie with the other two.

[SIGHS]

Did you actually say anything?

[SIGHS]

Ellis interrupted us before we got too far.

Which feels like divine intervention because I have no idea what I would say.

I mean, I can't lie because... lying.

And Zola's so smart she'd just see right through it.

So you're just gonna keep making grilled cheeses?

Are you just gonna walk for two hours every time Scout needs to sleep?

You want to see what happens when I stop?

I'm sorry.

I need Maggie.

Maggie is thoughtful and levelheaded, and I know I have to tell Zola the truth, but I need help knowing how to tell her the truth.

She's not picking up.

I have to go get her.

W-What?

No, you haven't slept.

You can't stand still.

You're not driving.

You haven't slept either.

Okay, deep breaths.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

We'll figure this out.

Um, I-I'll just call somebody that can find Maggie.

Who?

I don't know.

[SIGHS]

[SCOUT CRYING]

Ooh.

[INTERCOM CHATTER]

Hey, where's Carina?

Uh, they headed up to the chapel.

Okay, can you tell her that DeLuca is stable and he's on his way to the O.R.?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Who's that?

Uh, it's the woman DeLuca was following.

Detectives need her photo.

Why?

You...

You know her?

She was here last night, and I treated her.

For what?

She said she was mugged.

Oh, my God.

- Schmitt, hey, hey.

- Oh, my God.

Is this my fault?

No, none of this is your fault.

♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Hi.

What, no gifts?

At the very least, some crosswords, peanut butter cookies, contraband p*rn?

Kidding.

I'd trade all that for good conversation.

Okay, if this is about the nurses, they need to calm down.

We both have COVID.

It was no biggie.

What are you talking about?

I went to see Grey.

I needed to see some living scenery.

You would have loved it...

The two of us under blankets, it was like "On COVID Pond."

It's not funny.

It's a little funny.

We intubated Meredith, Tom.

[SCOFFS]

You know, if you ever find yourself thinking about cheering up kids in the cancer ward, don't.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I-I just...

[SIGHS]

I just needed to be in a room with someone who doesn't hate me.

[SCOFFS]

Well, no one can clear a remarkably low bar like Tom Koracick.

Have a seat.

[SIGHS]

I don't hate you, Altman.

But it would help me to hear you admit that you never loved me.

You don't have to say it now, but...

You're tired.

We're both scared.

But it would help me to hear it sometime soon.

- Dr. Wilson.

- Yeah?

I've maxed out Ms. Ashton on pressors, but her MAPS keep dropping.

Her repeat CT shows no fluid, which means that what's left of her liver is failing.

Um, start her on liver dialysis and keep me posted if she gets any worse.

Luna Ashton's mom is your patient, right?

Why?

Luna has a bronchogenic cyst.

I'd like to get her into the O.R.

before it causes respiratory distress.

Thought you might like to join me to tell her mom.

No.

Okay, suit yourself.

No, I just...

I don't want you to tell her either.

I don't want anyone to tell her.

I suppose we could sneak Luna in and say it was emergent, that Val was sleeping.

We didn't have time to ask her.

- Really?

- No.

What's wrong with you?

She just...

She needs some really not-terrible news right now.

We all do.

[SIGHS]

You're gonna do an ex-lap and a sternotomy?

Is that necessary?

His FAST exam indicates cardiac injury.

Well, then I'll scrub in.

Respectfully, Richard, you haven't operated in months.

I'm not sure that this is the way to jump back in.

Well, respectfully, you need the help, and I'm not about to wake up Bailey when she's sleeping for the first time since her mother d*ed.

I'm not asking you to.

Get Altman.

Altman's coming off a 20-hour shift which ended in putting Meredith Grey on a vent.

She's in no condition to operate.

Look, DeLuca saved my life.

It's only right that I do the same.

When Teddy and I were in Iraq, this was our job.

To sew up our own people when they were broken.

We knew the names of their kids, their dogs, what compelled them to serve their country.

Day after day, they'd go out there, they'd take shrapnel, and we would take it out, we'd sew them back up, and then we'd send them out there and do it all over again.

There was no sleep, no rest, no time to let the gravity of it all sink in.

That was the job, Richard.

Not many people can do it.

Altman can.

So, please, get me Altman.

Hey, I got your page, but DeLuca doesn't need ortho.

I needed ortho.

I saw the woman who did this to DeLuca.

She was here last night.

She said that she was mugged, but I think that she was lying.

I mean, I-I know she was lying.

And she was asking about the kidnappers, but I didn't put the pieces together.

And I don't know if I could have, but I still feel like I should have.

Which is crazy, right?

I-I-I just need to focus on DeLuca's surgery.

No, you can't scrub in.

This was a pep-talk page.

Okay, then, switch services.

You can do it.

Come on.

I want to help.

Then make sure DeLuca gets a surgeon that's not a wreck.

Said with love, in case you couldn't tell behind the mask.

[SIGHS]

It's a small piece of abnormal lung growth that I need to remove so she can breathe normally.

And then it'll be my turn for another surgery.

And then hers.

And then maybe I'll go twice so you keep me guessing.

JO: I know it sounds scary, but Dr.

Hayes has done this surgery countless times.

Has anyone even held her since she was born?

Well, she has to stay in the incubator for her own safety, I'm afraid.

That's not right.

She is helpless, and she is scared.

Babies aren't supposed to live in a plastic container.

You're right, Val.

You're right.

You need to see her.

It's not right that you haven't.

Wilson.

I'll bring her to you before she goes into surgery.

Thank you.

[VOICE BREAKING]

Thank you so much.

Wilson.

[SOBBING]

TEDDY: Webber paged.

Yeah, for me.

DeLuca got stabbed.

He has a massive hemothorax and blood in the pericardium.

- Sternotomy tray?

- And Balfour.

We treated a kid in Jordan who had shrapnel in the same area.

Right.

Texas Hold 'Em guy.

And we sent him home in one piece.

Alright, let's do it again.

Yep.

[JOSH RONEN'S "WAKE ME UP" PLAYS]

Ready?

Okay, Schmitt, let's call the blood bank, make sure there's more coming, and you can scrub in.

Khan, not Schmitt.

Dr. Schmitt said he needed to switch services.

I assume because of my time in Pakistan as a vascular surgeon.

Excellent call, Schmitt.

Alright, you'll assist me with the sternotomy while Dr. Hunt explores the abdomen.

We're gonna go fast.

Understood.

Okay, then.

Scalpel.

♪ I hear the thunder calling me ♪

♪ I see the skies ♪

♪ They gently weep ♪

Warren got called to a four-alarm downtown.

Do you have to go?

Carina, I'm not going anywhere.

Hey, hey.

♪ I hope when I close my eyes ♪

♪ That beauty will find me ♪

Before she d*ed, Mama called us two halves of one whole.

♪ Will there be someone... ♪

It loses something in translation.

My dad, he thought we were completely different, but my mom knew that we couldn't breathe without the other.

One year, when Dad was too manic to talk sense to, he, um, spent all our Christmas money on stuff he didn't need, but Mom saved up, and she surprised us with one gift.

A pair of roller skates.

Andrea tried to give them to me, but I-I put on the left and he put on the right, and we held the other two legs up like flamingos and skated around the house.

♪ That beauty will find me ♪

Two parts, one whole.

♪ I've seen fire and ashes fall ♪

♪ Will there be someone to save my soul? ♪

TEDDY: Looks like the Kn*fe went through the pericardium and just nicked the ventricle.

You can repair the ventricle with

- prolene.

- Altman?

- Yeah, he's right.

I'm on it.

Okay, get in there.

Right, 3-0 large taper needle.

Damn it.

Looks like it's gone through his spleen, his stomach, and his diaphragm.

We're gonna have to remove his spleen and check for intestinal injuries.

Dr. Knox, how many units has he received so far?

Six units of blood, six of FFP.

Alright, run a TEG to check for his clotting factors.

[SIGHS]

You good?

Yep.

Bovie.

♪ Pulls me in and tears me up ♪

- RICHARD: Please don't take this boy.

- ♪ I hope when I close my eyes ♪

- ♪ That beauty will find me ♪

- Please don't take this boy.

[MOANS, CHUCKLES]

[EXHALES SLOWLY]

Mm.

Mm.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Okay.

Comedy or drama?

[BOTH SIGH]

C-SPAN?

[LAUGHS]

Listen, there's something really soothing about the whole scrolling at the bottom.

It's like this endless potential of information.

You're gonna make me read that to you when we're 80, aren't you?

I mean...

I didn't mean...

Yeah, you did.

You did mean it.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Okay.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Did you order more champagne?

No.

Hold on.

I'll get rid of them.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

We're coming.

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

Yeah, we're coming.

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

Hey, uh, can I help you?

Oh, sorry.

Wrong...

Wrong room.

Jackson?

Oh, um, this is...

Okay, it's the right room.

Why are you here?

Link called me.

You need to come home.

How are we, Knox?

Just hung another two units.

Blood pressure's starting to come up.

- TEDDY: Just a few more sutures.

- Nice repair.

I don't see any leak.

I'm just gonna run this bowel one more time, and then I am good to go down here.

Alright, I just need to place the drain, and then we are good to start the wire closure.

Great work, everyone.

♪

When was everyone tested?

- Last night.

- Yesterday.

This morning.

Alright, come on in.

Amelia's in her room, and, uh, please keep it down.

This guy just went to sleep.

[SIGHS]

Anybody want a beer?

- I'm good.

- It's pretty early.

Okay, I'll get some.

[SIGHS]

The wound was more severe than we'd hoped, but he's pulled through.

Oh, my God.

He's alive.

Your brother's alive.

Oh, my God!

Oh, it hurts not to hug you right now.

Hey, look at them while you hug me.

[LAUGHS]

Thank you.

Thank you for getting me to help.

Yeah, don't read into it.

I owed it to DeLuca.

And if there was someone else I could've called, I would've.

♪ HAYES: I said no and I meant it.

I do not take preemies on joyrides.

You're already moving her.

This is adding a stop.

Plus, I told Val we would make it happen.

Without consulting me first.

It's out of the question.

Get out of my way, Wilson.

Were you nice before your wife d*ed?

Excuse me?

I'm just curious.

You know, I lost the love of my life.

He didn't die, but he might as well have, and I was sad and angry and confused, but I still cared about other people.

In fact, I think it made me care more.

I'm looking out for my patient.

You know this won't jeopardize Luna.

Grey was laughing and joking, and a few hours later she's on a vent.

This is not the time to play fast and loose with rules that keep our patients safe.

If it was Meredith Grey asking to see her child, would you say the same thing?

Five minutes, not a second longer.

Ah.

Ah.

ABG's the same as this morning, but no fever and labs are decent.

DeLuca's awake.

- Does Bailey know?

- She's still sleeping, but, uh, I'll tell her in a bit.

That was a great save, Altman.

Thank you.

I'm gonna go check on my other patients.

♪ I've been here all day ♪

♪ It's too hot to sleep ♪

♪ Time is running away ♪

I don't regret it.

How did you know I was wondering that?

I don't know.

I just did.

I don't regret it.

You know, we walk through our lives and we witness atrocities.

See homeless people on the street asking for help and we just walk right past them.

See people that can't pay for medicine for their children, see people b*ating their kids, and we just say, "Well, it's none of our business."

See atrocities on the news every day.

Crimes and cruelties committed by our government, paid for, nonetheless, by our own tax dollars.

And what do we do?

We just change the channel, right?

We just...

We tune it out.

Then we go back to work and we pretend like what we just saw, or that article we just read was somehow normal or acceptable, and the people who take to the streets screaming out for change, they're written off as crazy, they're written off as extreme.

Doesn't make any sense.

Makes no sense.

But what you did, Meredith, risking your medical license to save that little girl...

That made sense.

And what I did...

Following that woman, not letting up, not letting her get away, not letting her harm another single human being.

Yeah, it was dangerous, but it made sense.

It's the only thing that made sense.

So I don't regret it.

♪ But I'm standing still ♪

OWEN: He suffered a lot of bleeding, but his vitals are stable.

Oh, Andrea.

♪ Is so vacant and numb ♪

Hey, hey.

♪ I can't even remember what it was ♪

Hey.

Easy, easy, don't try to talk.

You did it.

It's over.

They arrested the woman, they arrested the man who stabbed you.

You saved so many children, Andrea.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

_ Now, blink once for morphine and twice for "I'm a dummy who will never ignore his sister ever again."

♪ Is more than I can bear ♪

[CHUCKLES]

[SPEAKS ITALIAN]

♪ It's not dark yet ♪

♪ But it's getting there ♪

What was the surgery?

I want details.

It was a trauma.

It went well.

Your oxygen saturation's gone up.

That's encouraging.

I did love you, even though I tried so hard not to love you because I also loved Owen.

I think I thought that I could love you both, but instead, I just...

I tore it all to the ground and took you both with me.

[CHUCKLING]

Wow.

I asked you for one thing, Altman.

You asked me for the truth.

No, no.

I didn't ask you for that because the truth is relative.

You got yourself convinced that you loved us both, but empirical evidence would suggest otherwise.

- Empirical?

I...

- He doesn't want you.

You're right, you dragged us both to the ground, but he doesn't want anything to do with you and I'm still here sitting in the dust.

If you loved me, Teddy, we'd be together instead of...

together in our misery.

Empirical evidence.

I asked you to admit you never loved me because...

I need it.

If I survive this thing...

...I want to get up off the ground where you dropped me, so...

...I need it.

♪ ♪

I never loved you, Tom.

[SCOFFS]

Thank you.

♪

JACKSON: You want to sit, or...

Oh, the second I stop, Scout starts wailing like a human ambulance.

As you were.

And Scout needs me to keep moving.

Zola, Bailey, Ellis...

They need us to keep on moving, playing songs and eating.

They eat so much.

So I just keep going to the grocery store and buying food that Amelia keeps pretending she knows how to cook, and what if Meredith doesn't survive this, you know what it's gonna do to my life?

Yeah, you just said that out loud.

Don't worry about it, we're all scared.

No one's judging you.

WINSTON: I'm a little bit judging, but that's 'cause I've only known you seven minutes.

I'm on my knees every night praying that she survives this, and I'm not an on-my-knees-praying kind of guy.

- I get it.

- I'm not praying for myself.

You're human, Link.

Give yourself a break, alright?

You're exhausted.

Meredith is...

She's family to me.

I mean, Meredith is family.

I can think of a million reasons I don't want her to... die.

Some of them are about her, some are about me, some are about the world at large.

Point is, you're allowed to have your reasons.

They don't all have to be selfless.

I just...

I mean, those kids already lost their dad.

I don't want them to have to grow up without a mom, too.

And all we can do is just...

Keep moving.

Yeah.

I mean, literally keep moving, 'cause human ambulance.

[CHUCKLING]

Yeah.

You know, you're pretty good at this.

The whole "keep somebody calm you've only known seven minutes" thing.

Well, to be fair, it's been more like eight minutes now.

It's true.

And, Jackson, thank you for getting Maggie over here.

I-I-I'm sorry if that was awkward.

- You were the only one picking up.

- No, it's fine.

Why would it be awkward?

Uh, just...

Yeah.

Okay, you're, uh...

You're her ex, aren't you?

- Mm.

- Another round?

Yeah.

[SIGHS]

I was Zola and Bailey and Ellis.

I was the kid who lost a parent and the world turned upside down.

And I don't know...

if I hadn't been there to see my dad dead on the ground, how long they would've waited to tell me.

Nobody talked about it.

I didn't expect answers, but...

there wasn't room for questions.

Just... silence.

Meredith told the kids about Derek.

We can do this for her.

She deserves us stepping up.

And the kids do, too.

Can we just stay here a little longer?

♪

Your mom is gonna freak out when she sees you.

Yes, she is.

WOMAN: Code blue, code blue.

Code blue.

Val's coding!

Hurry!

No.

No, no, no.

♪

Hey.

Comfortable?

Well, your sister just went to get coffee, but she left strict instructions.

No car chases, okay?

[CHUCKLES]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Okay.

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

He's tachycardic and his CVP's going up.

Code blue, code blue.

Must be cardiac tamponade.

We're gonna have to open him back up again.

Let's get a scalpel and order more blood.

Code blue, code blue.

DeLuca?

DeLuca, we're gonna have to open you back up, okay?

But I am with you, okay?

I got you, okay?

Come on.

Staple remover.

Thank you.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

[RAPID BEEPING CONTINUES]

Okay, wire cutters.

Okay.

Good, let's go.

One, two, three.

[GRUNTS]

Somebody page Altman and have her meet me in the O.R.!

[MUFFLED]

Call for more blood.

Start the massive transfusion protocol.

♪ Black water fills the room all around me ♪

Almost there, DeLuca, okay?

Let's go, let's go!

JO: Charge to 150.

Clear.

[PADDLES WHINE]

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

Come on, Val!

You're so close to seeing your baby girl.

Charged to 200.

Clear.

[PADDLES WHINE]

♪ My fingers turning red ♪

What happened?

He went into DIC.

He's bleeding out.

Push TXA...

- DR.

KNOX: I already have.

- Push more.

I'm gonna need a ton of lap pads.

Let me in.

♪ I can feel it slowly caving in ♪

♪ I can feel it ♪

♪ I can feel it ♪

[MONITOR BEEPING]

He's crashing.

Starting cardiac massage.

♪ I can feel it ♪

Charge to 270.

I think it's too late.

Clear.

[PADDLES WHINE]

[SIGHS]

♪ I can barely feel my heart b*at ♪

So, this morning they put your mom on a ventilator.

That's the machine that breathes for her.

Yes.

When will they take her off of it?

Different people come off of it at different times.

My dad never did.

Do you think my mom will?

We hope so.

But we don't know.

We just...

We don't know.

We shouldn't tell Bailey and Ellis.

Not unless we need to.

They're just too young to understand.

Okay.

We'll wait.

♪ ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

HAYES: No respiratory distress, chest tube's barely putting out anything.

Thank you.

She's a trouper.

She's gonna need to be.

No.

I ran the code for an hour.

You know...

[CLEARS THROAT]

I was nicer...

before Abigail d*ed.

I was a great deal many things, most of them better.

I'm sorry, I never should've...

Oh, it was kind what you wanted to do, it was.

I'm so sorry.

Me too.

♪ ♪

♪

[DOOR OPENS]

♪ ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

Val is dead.

I heard.

I'm sorry.

DeLuca was okay and now he might not be.

I spent so many years pretending to be someone else.

So many years afraid of what my mother thought, neighbors thought, what I thought.

I wasted so much time.

And now we're all just working and surviving and waiting.

[CHUCKLES]

For what?

Is this all just gonna end one day?

Like, one day we're all gonna get a memo that says, "COVID's over.

Everyone back to normal"?

I think I wasted all the time I was supposed to be happy.

[CRYING]

♪

BAILEY: Mm.

How long have I been asleep?

RICHARD: Uh, most of the day.

[GRUNTS]

Bailey, something's happened.

No, it's...

It's not Meredith.

It's DeLuca.

What?

Richard, what?

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

♪

Okay, give me 1 of epi.

♪

♪

The tide is coming in!

I know.

It's gonna wash it away.

I know, I'm trying to b*at it.

You're trying to b*at the tide?

Yeah.

I had more to do.

I had plans.

Wanted to do another tower over here and a... a...

A bridge with a moat.

Tide's coming in too fast.

Come on.

It's too fast.

I had plans.

[GROANS]

Come on.

You can't build a sand castle without a moat.

I don't know what happens from here, Meredith.

MEREDITH: Me either.

But no matter what happens, I want you to know that I never felt seen the way you saw me.

I never felt inspired the way you inspired me.

You made me want to be not just my best self, but better.

And yeah, I felt small around you sometimes.

I felt insecure.

I wanted something from you that I needed to give to myself.

But here, now, on this beach with you, I...

I get it.

I don't just get it, I feel it.

I get who I am.

I know my own soul, my strength.

Do you want to take a walk?

We can watch the sunset from the dock.

In a minute.

I just want to feel this first.

I just want to hold onto this a little longer.

MEREDITH: I'm a little bit of an exception

when it comes to having a happy place.

Because the hospital's always been mine.

Internal paddles.

- Come on, come on.

- OWEN: Let's go, let's go.

♪ And there could be a place ♪

Charge to 20.

[PADDLES WHINE]

Clear.

- Again.

- Clear.

[PADDLES WHINE]

Charge to 30.

- Clear.

- [PADDLES WHINE]

Come on.

- Again.

- Again.

Clear.

[PADDLES WHINE]

♪ Always so far ♪

Come on.

♪ Always so near ♪

Maybe it's because it's where I grew up.

♪ Who cast the spell ♪

♪ Of our fair weather ♪

WOMAN: Andrea!

♪ The sweet hellos ♪

♪ The fair farewells ♪

Mom?

[CHUCKLING]

Mom?

Andrea!

♪ MEREDITH: I'll miss you.

If I go back and you don't, I'll miss you.

It'll be okay, Meredith.

It will.

It'll be okay.

WOMAN: Andrea!

I have to go.

Okay.

♪ [SPEAKS ITALIAN]

Mama!

♪ Where the wind may blow ♪

[SPEAKS ITALIAN]

♪ I've never been a man ♪

♪ For another's shadows ♪

Oh!

♪ But sometimes I ♪

♪ Drive by the place you live ♪

- ♪ Just hoping I ♪

- [LAUGHTER]

♪ Might catch you in the windows ♪

[SUCTION GURGLING]

♪ Well, if you've known love ♪

REZA: His heart won't restart.

He's been down for minutes.

♪ The sun and then the bloody rain ♪

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

♪ And though there's nothing ♪

♪ Nothing to forgive ♪

♪ If we could find the grace ♪

♪ There could be a place ♪

♪ There could be a place ♪

[FLATLINE]

Isn't somebody going to call it?

[FLATLINING CONTINUES]

♪

[TOOLS CLANG]

♪

♪ Time of death...

22:50.

♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Another life ♪

But if you're not like me...

♪ Another time ♪

♪ Could there be a place ♪

♪ For you and I? ♪

♪ Abandon reason ♪

♪ Adopt the rhyme ♪

♪ And there could be a place ♪

...you're going to want somewhere else.

♪ For us to find ♪

♪ There could be a place ♪