07x01 - The Garotte and the Vinklebraun

[bunniefuu]

So join me, Jennifer Furrows.

And moi, Brian Beautemps, at this week's venue, the quaint and curious historic sawmill.

Here in beautiful, bucolic Brokenwood, a place that we're sure is home to...

- All things old and beautiful.

- All things old and beautiful.

And cut!

"All Things Old and Beautiful," teaser two, take nine.

Seriously.

Don't expect me to do another take.

Jolly good.

sh**t me now.

♪ I'm driving out to your town ♪ ♪ Every turn of the wheel ♪ ♪ Call me up from your town ♪ ♪ Tell me how it feels ♪ ♪ I'm going out to your town ♪ ♪ Yeah, my heart's in your town ♪ ♪ Love shines on your town every day ♪ Oh, it's so nice to have some royal blood in the town.

Afternoon, Detective.

It's lovely to see Jools' face so happy.

She's fallen on her feet with that Lord Ashbury.

But I must say, if I was years younger...

- Gina.

- Mike, how nice to see you.

Oh, bringing an heirloom for appraisal, are you?

A precious gift for my mother.

It is a Russian Yak tusk known to support men's libido.

Oh.

How exactly does it work?

Russian women fill it with Horny Goat weed and slip it under the pillow of their husbands.

It keeps them awake at night, creating more opportunity.

What have you got there, Mike?

Uh, just some old 's.

Country music artists from the Golden Age.

There goes trouble.

I never picked Trudy Nielsen as one for an interest in antiques.

Indeed.

Word is that box contains the severed head of her ex-husband.

Jean, come on.

It's only what I've heard.

Filming will resume in five minutes.

Take your places, please.

Oh, I'm so looking forward to meeting Mr. Beautemps.

♪ ♪ And action.

Tell me, where did you get this?

Well, Anthony.

- Oh, your beau.

- My "beau" yes.

It's from his family collection.

Anthony, do come and join us.

He's a bit shy, but we're putting it up for a charity auction, and I thought here was a good place to generate some interest, so...

Well, of course, being a Vinkelbraun, this is a rarity.

You're not up there, too?

I'm not one for the limelight.

Hard to put an exact value on it, but perhaps between , and , dollars or more, depending on the buyer.

Jools, please.

Wait, wait, cut.

Brian, I am the one who calls cut.

Here we go again.

Alright.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nice to meet you.

I told you it was a silly waste of time.

But it's for a good cause, darling.

So these would be cognac glasses.

- Leeching cups.

- Ah.

My late husband's grandfather was a doctor in Guatemala.

- Oh.

- Although we used them for a strawberry mousse for dinner parties.

But it was the ' s.

Well, it's a blubber spoon used by whaler's to ladle off all that juicy blubber.

Can I have your autograph?

I thought you were awesome when you were the weather lady.

Mm-hmm.

Perhaps off camera.

Yeah, they'd possibly be worth more if they weren't all country records.

Thank you.

Okay, resetting everyone.

Come forward.

Thank you.

And you found this while digging a post hole on your farm?

Well, this is a hei tiki.

Sadly, not a pre-colonial one, I'm afraid.

Locally, they're a dime a dozen.

This one would have been a nice piece, but especially being broken, not worth more than, well, dollars, I imagine.

Come on, Brian.

Don't do this.

Excuse me.

Who is the expert here?

Nope, I'm over it.

There are beliefs that those who disrespect Maori Taonga end up getting sick, even dying of a mysterious illness.

Doesn't happen to the seller.

Only the buyer.

- Andie!

- I...

Look, come on.

This is all getting a bit "witchie poo." Look, what you do with it is entirely up to you.

Mm?

Finders keepers.

Yeah?

Ah, Louise, I'm ready over here.

You still rolling?

That's all we have time for.

Signing off for now from Brokenwood.

And next week, we'll be looking for rich pickings in rustic Riverstone.

See you there.

Goodbye.

Bye.

♪ ♪ No sign of DK?

Or Brian.

Late again.

- Qu'elle surprise.

- Typical.

Oh, you really embrace that special delivery last night, aye?

This is the sound of me not talking to you.

Hey, can you go get Brian?

Director, not Nanny.

Andie, please?

I mean, we could just leave him here.

- That gets my vote.

- Mine too.

Hey, no crew left behind.

Well, it's not for much longer, is it?

Nothing is in this biz.

- Hey, he's not there.

- Christ.

Is his room empty?

I knocked three times.

He's probably gone walkabout again.

Let's just go.

He can get the bus.

Hello?

Management.

- Brian?

- Brian?

- No way.

- Oh, my God.

♪ ♪ Morning, team.

Talk to me.

Well, at first glance, you know, without an expert opinion, I would say the victim...

Brian Beautemps.

...has been garroted.

Tablet, phone, door key, and victim's wallet are all still here.

I've seen some freaky things in my time, but the French, eh?

Spanish.

Hmm?

It's a Spanish invention.

Mm, you sure?

I know my guillotine from my garrote.

Oh, that's reassuring.

Could you, uh...

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

Gidday, Brian.

Perhaps all things old aren't so beautiful after all.

It's a hell of a piece of furniture you're sitting on.

Not exactly an easy chair, is it?

Hello.

Could you look after our little friend here, too?

No evidence of a struggle.

Windows are all still up from the inside.

No sign of forced entry.

Assuming it takes two to tango with a garrote, the other party

- came through the front door.

- Mm-hmm.

And then they had a couple of drinks and got on with it.

Round up the rest of this crew.

Boss.

Mike, what a wonderful day.

I'm not sure he feels that way.

Perhaps not.

But in my business, there are certain cases we can only hope to work on.

Traditional garroting has been a lifelong dream.

I'm very excited.

I'm... happy for you.

I would like to be left alone.

Mm.

Marcus, you used to run the Tidal View Lodge, didn't you?

Yeah, I took over this place hoping for a fresh start.

Now this.

Ah, when you discovered the victim, did you move or touch anything in the room?

No.

And um just to clarify, an antique garrote chair is not standard issue in the King Suite?

No, I've never seen the damn thing before in my life.

I've got no idea how it got in there.

And I'd like it out pronto, please.

The film crew were your only guests last night.

Yeah, they booked the whole place out for privacy, I guess.

And Mr. Beautemps is listed as a single guest, but you issued two door keys.

Well, that's standard practice.

Um, less chance go guests having no key when they roll home drunk at : a.m., start pounding at my door.

How long are we going to have to stay?

We have initial inquiries.

Can you give me a timeline?

Well, that's kind of hard to.

My God, what about the network?

Ms.

Rice, this will go better and quicker if I'm going to ask the questions.

What about publicity?

Have you thought about that?

No, no, I didn't hear anything.

I mean, I was in my room all night.

This is just so completely crazy.

You didn't hear anything unusual.

No, I was out to it.

Uh, when was the last time you saw him?

Well, we had a drink in the motel garden bar, and I left around : .

And then you went back to your room after that?

Yes.

Yeah.

Hughes is handling all the press down the line.

Any queries, refer to media.

Well, this is a bit of an odd one.

The offender had to smuggle in an antique execution device for a start.

Yet, none of the crew saw anything.

Although one is still M.I.A., the sound recordist person, Gemma Lowe. No one smuggled anything in.

Gemma?

Hi, I'm Detective Sims.

Uh, DSS Mike Shepherd, D.C. Breen.

Sorry.

DK needed a pie.

One too many bourbons last night.

Ms.

Lowe, what did you mean by no one smuggled anything in?

The garrote that belonged to Brian.

As in he travelled with it.

No, he bought it yesterday here in Brokenwood.

♪ ♪ Brian found it when we were filming a teaser at some curio shop.

So what trinkets and treasures await us at Brokenwood?

Join us tonight to find out on...

"All Things Old and Beautiful." Cut!

That's everything we need.

Local shop intro, take two.

Okay, relocating to the saw mill.

Oh, thank God.

Well, well, well.

What do I have here?

A bit of a find that one.

That's th century Spanish.

It's authentic.

Please.

It's a knock off.

Admittedly a good one, but a replica nevertheless.

What would you know?

Clearly more than you.

I have been in this business for over years.

I think I know what I'm talking about.

Then bring it on the show.

I'm not going to make a fool of myself on national television.

I shall tell it like it is.

It's a fake.

Or I could take it off your hands for...

dollars?

dollars?!

But there's nothing in it for me.

What did you pay?

, dollars?

Or did you whip it up in your man shed?

Look, I'm offering you a good deal.

Now, I have an interest in replica instruments of t*rture, but not more than dollars worth.

Take it or leave it.

Brian had an eye for a good deal?

You mean did he like ripping off unsuspecting mortals?

Sure.

Um, did Mr. Beautemps take the machine there and then?

No, our van was full of gear.

He was going to pick it up later.

♪ ♪ We understand that you sold Mr. Beautemps the garrote?

I did, yes.

And what time did he pick it up?

Well, he took possession of it around : p.m. yesterday.

And how did he seem?

Fine, I guess.

But at : p.m., he would have been filming his TV show?

Well, like I said, I guess.

It's not that I saw him.

So did someone else pick it up for him?

No, I delivered it.

All part of the service.

I mean, there was no one at the motel, so I left it in place, spick and span.

Left.

Who let you into his room?

Mr. Beautemps gave me a key.

And what did you do with that key?

Well, I would have left it in the room and shut the door behind me.

You were at the filming of the TV show.

A little later, yes.

And there was a disagreement about something between you and Mr. Beautemps.

I simply want what's mine.

- For goodness' sakes, man!

- Excuse me.

Now is not the time.

After the show.

No, I was merely asking for payment after having delivered the purchase.

During the filming of the show?

Well, I don't like handing over goods without payment.

After all, possession is / of the law, isn't it?

Well, thanks for your time, Sydney.

I mean, legally speaking, the garrote is still mine.

I mean, payment was never made.

Noted.

Okay, known movements.

Excuse me, Sims?

Oh, Cushla.

No prizes for guessing why you're here.

"Brokenwood Courier" is a bastion for public service.

Mm, and a good story.

So what have you got for me?

Um, a suspicious death.

Dead TV celeb.

Seriously, that's it, and police media are handling all the press for this one, so why don't you go into the city, you know, where all the main journos are based.

Oh, so I'm your local yokel.

Is that it?

Your words, not mine.

This place is going to be crawling with press any moment.

Talk to media.

Apologies.

Where were we?

Uh, all six of the crew went back to the motel after filming around : p.m.

They'd had dinner in town at the Porky Pigeon Pizzeria.

I wouldn't describe them as a cheery bunch.

I was expecting them to be a little more rock and roll, being on the telly.

I should have rushes by now.

I'll do them when we get back.

What is this?

Work to rule?

Does the caprese salad come with buffalo mozzarella?

Given the scarcity of buffaloes in Brokenwood, we use a local cheddar.

Well, I think I'll have the mighty mo meat lovers.

Thank you.

Then they had a nightcap at the motel bar.

Jennifer left first followed by Brian and Louise, leaving the others at the bar.

- Bar's closed fella.

- Well, we'll just, uh, we'll get something to take back to the room, yeah?

No, my license finished at : .

Uh, DK left the others not long after.

Uh, I went back to my room to transfer the rushes.

It takes a while.

Rushes being?

Digital files from the camera to get to Louise for the editor.

I went back to my room, jumped online, went to sleep.

I stayed in my room.

I was doing e-mails until midnight.

I was sharing a movie online with my partner in the city.

I had to sort some technical stuff, took a bath.

That was my night.

Given the victim's wallet still contained credit cards and cash, robbery seems like an unlikely motive.

So is his name actually Bottoms?

Beautemps being French for bottoms?

It's, um, "derriere." Well, each to their own.

The tech boys are trying to cr*ck his phone.

But I've been on his blog page.

It seems like he maybe had some kind of weird fetish.

There's all these images of him in stocks, lying under a guillotine, caressing a gallows.

But most interesting, at : p.m., he posted this selfie.

Terrible picture, but check out the caption.

"So excited by my new purchase.

More to follow." With a suggested price of grand.

So he was planning a quick flip.

Shameless.

Brian had a disagreement with the camera guy over this fella.

Well, this is a hei tiki.

Come on, Brian.

And then it ends up in his room.

I spoke with the museum.

They can tell by the way the holes are made that it's pre-colonial.

Brian must have known that.

Yeah, and that would be worth thousands.

The museum has registered him on the heritage database.

He may yet find his way home.

Gina.

Mike, you'll be interested to know the victim does not have unusually long arms.

Okay.

Therefore, he could not have operated the machine himself.

Thus you can discount su1c1de.

- I hadn't actually been -- - But you can never be sure.

Do you know how a garrote kills you?

- Painfully?

- One of two ways.

Strangulation causing asphyxiation unless the neck breaks first.

- In his case?

- It was the latter.

Pressure, pressure, pressure...

snap.

A further interest, there are no other signs of physical damage, no cuts, bruising, contusions, other than the point of rupture at the base of his skull.

Which suggests that the victim assumed the position willingly.

Understandable.

This machine is an instrument of great wonder.

Time of death is critical in this one.

For you, Mike, I will, of course, bend over.

Backwards.

What?

The saying is "bend over backwards." Oh, okay.

Interesting.

Best I don't hold you up.

Yeah, it's going to rate through the roof.

Oh, well, it's just brought forward the inevitable, hasn't it?

No, look, I can think of five other presenters who can do this job.

Yeah, definitely didn't get put back into the system.

If a key gets found, say off the premises, does it usually get handed in?

No.

Now, people bin them I reckon.

It's bloody expensive for me.

Thanks.

Sorry about that.

Can I help?

Um, yeah, a witness reports there being some tension within your crew last night.

What was that about?

Oh, really?

Who?

Can't say.

Oh, well, it's business as usual.

Look, I'm sure in your line of work, this is all very normal, but we're dealing with the loss of a television icon.

We're upset, and maybe upset seems like tension.

Well, I was talking about prior to Mr. Beautemps' death.

Of course.

Well, we travel together, and maybe it's not as glamorous as some people might think.

Yeah, noses get out of joint.

We're crammed in a van.

It's long days, cheap motels.

We're tired, and now we're all bereft.

- So nothing happened last night?

- Nothing.

Oh, although, at the show, there was this old guy who was being a bit of a pain.

No, no, no.

You only get one appearance on the show.

That's the rule.

You don't bloody get it, do you?

Well, he was obsessed with some old bric-a-brac of his mother's or something.

We first encountered him at the Tahuna Point show, and then he turned up again.

Later, he accosted Brian in the car park.

This is her life's work, man.

You diss it, you diss her and you diss me, you understand?

Is everything all right?

His van was parked here this morning, but he left just before we found Brian.

That's old Buzz.

He was fixing a faulty light for me last night.

Yeah, I ran into him at your show, actually.

He said he'd pop by later, and he did.

I've, um, got his invoice here somewhere.

Ah.

He's just an old hippie.

You know, he might have smoked a bit too much of the devil's lettuce back in the day, if you know what I mean, but, no, he's harmless.

- Mind if I take this?

- Oh, no, no.

Thanks.

Hey, Breen, can you track down a Buzz McLarty?

Fully Buzzed Electrics.

He was seen on the premises last night and had some altercation with the victim.

Ta.

Yes?

Gemma, hi.

Detective Sims.

I just have a few follow up questions.

More?

Yeah, if that's okay.

Sorry to interrupt.

Gemma, I need those data cards now.

Okay.

We have to salvage the episode.

It's the least we can do...

for Brian.

Sorry.

So, um, you want me to tell you what I just told that other woman?

What other woman is that?

From communications.

She said she was helping police with inquiries.

Did this woman show I.D.?

Her driver's license, yeah.

- And her name?

- Uh, Cushla someone.

Mm.

Okay, thanks, Gemma.

We'll -- we can pick this up some other time.

♪ ♪ I can come back later.

No.

All good.

Won't be a minute.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ What's up?

Uh, This was found in Brian Beautemps' room.

So?

Any idea how it got there?

Probably some late night dodgy deal out in the car park.

So you knew?

It wasn't unusual.

Yeah.

Well, you seemed concerned about it at the filming of the show.

It wasn't that dude's sell, and it wasn't Brian's to buy.

That hei tiki, it's...

it's got a story.

It would've had a name, you know, but, hey, some people just don't get it.

You left the motel bar just after : p.m.

Did you see Brian again that night?

No.

You did mention a curse.

Call me old fashioned, but I'd use "makutu" to be more accurate.

Makutu means curse.

Look, if this were Makutu, do you think it would involve a Spanish execution implement introduced during the reign of Ferdinand VII?

How was the pizza?

Lost my appetite.

Knock yourself out, though.

Hello.

Buzz McLarty?

I'm not doing any call outs today.

Not feeling it.

Best you find someone else.

No, this is D.C. Breen. Brokenwood CIB.

I need to speak to you at your earliest convenience.

I'm at the surf beach, and to be honest, I'm not planning on leaving.

Fingerprints have thrown up only two sets on the garrotes.

The victims are all over it and another set...

unknown.

The crank on the machine is clean of prints?

Yeah, the offender must have wiped it down.

Then why not the rest of it?

And the door key that was found in the room has only his on it.

But the whiskey glasses have Brian's and another unknown, different to those on the garrote.

They could be Sydney Simpson's.

Yeah, possibly, though he did say he polished it when he delivered it, right?

The second door key is potentially in the hands of the offender or it's simply lost.

And we can't discount that Brian could have simply let the offender in himself.

Which would suggest he knew his k*ller.

And it also suggests that that door key is not the one that Sydney left there.

On it.

Can you be more specific?

Well, I put it down on the on the table.

Coffee table, side table, kitchen bench?

- Look, I was in a hurry.

- Well, being in a hurry, is it possible that you didn't leave the door key at all?

Look, surely this is your problem, not mine.

The key must be in the motel somewhere.

Perhaps you haven't looked hard enough.

So you don't still have it?

Well, you're welcome to take a look for yourself.

Yeah, well, it may come to that.

I'll be in touch.

Brian was simply "All Things Old and Beautiful." In some ways, we were like brother and sister, really?

Whoa!

I didn't do anything, did I?

- Not you, Frodo.

- Hey, do you mind?

- We're working here.

- Yeah, well, so am I.

Sorry, is everything all right?

Yeah, I just need to have a quick word to Cushla.

- No, no, hey, don't go.

- No, it's fine.

I really ought to be getting back.

Everyone wants to talk to me.

It's quite overwhelming.

Thanks.

Thank you.

You just cost me a print exclusive.

Well, that's what happens when you impersonate a police officer.

Oh, no, I would never do that.

And I was very clear about who I was.

Do you have no ethical boundaries?

My job is to keep the public informed.

Yeah, well, you want info, you can get in line down at HQ.

You don't want my help, fine.

But the siren thing, very uncool.

♪ ♪ So you were at the motel.

Yep.

Fixing a light for the owner.

When they flicker, they piss off the guests.

You see anything unusual?

Define unusual.

Comings and goings, other people.

It's a motel.

People come and go all the time.

So you saw no one?

I was fixing the light.

The witness has you arguing with Brian Beautemps in the car park.

You're saying that didn't happen?

It depends how you define arguing.

Disagree, accost, lambaste.

Lambaste?

Good word that.

Yeah.

Alright.

I lambasted him a bit.

He'd been rude about my mother's antiques when I appeared on his show up in Tahuna Point.

Well, Mum's way past making the show herself, so I took them along.

And this Brian joker had the nerve to say they had novelty value only.

There's , mate!

what?

Teaspoons.

One from each town in New Zealand dating back to the early s.

How can I go back and tell Mum that?

Yeah, I mean, maybe they did have...

It was going to be on the telly.

What was I to say?

"Hey, Mum, your life's passion" -- and it was a passion -- "is worth nothing." Yeah, I can see how that -- So I came down here to have another go.

I thought maybe Beautemps was having a bad day or something.

They wouldn't even let me on.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You only get one appearance on the show.

That's the rule.

So when I saw him, I let him know how I felt.

You showed me a collection bigger than that, fella.

Well, I'm sorry, but they're not antiquities.

Sorry?

There's even one from Taumarunui and one from the tea rooms on the Napier Taupo Highway, which is not even a town.

Well, they're quaint at most.

This is her life's work, man.

You diss it, you diss her, and you diss me.

You understand?

Is everything all right?

It will be when this joker gets his bloody act together.

Thanks for that.

We agreed to disagree.

Did you have any contact with him after that?

No.

You into teaspoons?

Uh, honestly, not really my thing.

Why does that not surprise me?

Does pizza delivery count?

Some fella in a clown car delivered pizza.

Uh, how long was he there for?

A couple of minutes.

He left just before the bloke in the Jag.

Don't see many of those around these parts.

And what time was this?

Just before : .

And what did you do after that?

I spoke to Mum, say good night.

Slept in the van, then headed out here for a late dawnie.

Surf's been pumping all day.

You surf?

Uh, no, not really my thing either.

Energy of a wave is like no other.

Different to electricity.

Different form of energy.

One's shocking.

- Yeah.

Okay.

- The other is like a...

- lifts you up like a...

- Cool.

Right, thanks Buzz.

...love of a good woman.

Boss, Lord Ashbury drives a Jag, right?

Yeah.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Sorry, Tony just got a call from someone in his family back home.

Can I get you both something?

Tea?

We only have Earl Grey these days.

Uh, we're fine, thanks.

Can I help you with anything?

We need to talk to you both.

Apologies.

Everything okay?

My sister has been offered to buy an old castle on the Welsh border.

I'm trying to tell her in the nicest possible way that she's barking mad.

A castle?

That sounds exciting.

Not when you have to maintain them.

Absolute money pits.

Anyway, I'm sure you're not here to talk about my tedious family.

Uh, no, we're here about the situation with Brian Beautemps.

- Absolutely awful.

- We need to talk to you both.

Of course.

Uh, separately.

If you don't mind.

Well, how very curious.

- Lord Ashbury.

- Oh, please.

I find myself living half way around the world away from all that nonsense.

Tony is fine.

Tony, we have a witness who saw you -- or at least your car -- leaving Brian Beautemps' motel the night before last.

Did they say what time?

Just before : p.m.

Well, yes, that'd be correct.

Tony went to visit Mr. Beautemps to discuss his Vinkelbraun.

It's quite something.

Mr. Beautemps was clearly impressed.

- Cut.

- Brian, I am the one - who yells "cut." - Look, tell your chap to come to the motel later tonight when we're away from the cameras, all right?

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nice to meet you.

I guess you could say it was a business meeting.

Did he seem upset or troubled at all?

Quite the opposite.

He enthused about the painting.

I think he rather fancied buying it, but I suspect it was well out of his reach.

And he was alive and well when you left?

No question about it.

Huh.

Could I see the Vinkelbraun?

There she is.

"Man with Dog." Up close, all those brush strokes.

Ah, well, that was the breakthrough the impressionists made, of course, with a technique known as "impasto" -- thick and vivid colors, giving the canvas actual texture.

Can I ask what it's actually worth?

A lot more than you might think.

Try me?

I've been told between , and , pounds.

Interestingly, Mr. Beautemps concurred with that.

So, uh, he did know a thing or two after all.

Do you make a habit of traveling with expensive artwork?

No.

Sent for it.

I planned to auction it for a charity project here.

We're building a school for orphans in Papua New Guinea.

It's what Tony does with this time.

He's built three already, you know?

When you saw Brian, was there an antique garrote machine in his room?

He was actually offering to sell it to me.

Not my sort of thing at all.

And for the record, that was not an antique.

No, I believe so.

Brian suggested a swap for the Vinkelbraun.

Rather cheeky.

Hmm.

Did you share a drink?

Whiskey.

Nothing remarkable.

A mini bar nip.

Why?

Oh, I'm just piecing things together.

And now with us together, we can build more schools.

It gives our relationship a focus.

It can't be just sex, sex, sex.

Yeah, uh, no.

Um, Jools, as a matter of interest, how did you meet Lord Ashbury?

Well, he's not the sort to turn up on Tinder, is he?

I guess not.

Tony and I met at a resort overseas.

I was treating myself to some time out after the death of my previous husband.

- Bonjour, madame.

- Bonjour.

♪ ♪ Do you need a hand down there?

Oh.

He'd just finished some volunteer work, building houses for those dispossessed through rising sea levels.

We got talking.

She dropped her bag, and she was hovering like a butterfly.

Have you been here before?

No.

It's wonderful, isn't it?

Are you going to happy hour later?

Oh.

I think I will, yes.

Perfect.

I'm Tony.

- Oh, Jools.

- Jools.

Even though I'd sworn off men after my last self obsessed husband, I couldn't help but feel drawn to him.

He made me laugh.

Laughter's so important, isn't it?

There's something about Kiwi women, I have to say.

You'd know a thing or two, no doubt.

Oh, mainly about divorce, I'm afraid.

Oh, no chance of that here.

I plan to propose, you know?

Congratulations.

A witness placed you at the motel the other night.

Yeah, I made a delivery to one of the telly people.

Uh, the Maori joker.

Pizza?

Well, I'm not a hamburger restaurant, am I?

Around : ?

That's pretty late.

With any new business venture, you got to be prepared to do the hard yards.

It's weird, though, since he'd already eaten here a few hours earlier.

Great pizzas inspire desire.

How did he seem?

Like a man who needed a good time.

There you go.

One gourmet raised party pizza special.

That bastard.

Not you.

Things have livened up a bit then.

My pizzas invoke good times.

Slice?

Uh, no, not right now.

You told my colleague that the other night you went to your room and stayed there, but a witness, has you in DK Tremaine's room.

Yeah, so?

- Visibly upset.

- I was not upset.

I was angry.

- About?

- Personal stuff.

Was it this?

It was found in Brian's room.

That's the one Brian bought.

♪ ♪ It's fine.

It's fine.

♪ ♪ Yeah, Brian was always on the make because he was famous.

And people are gullible.

If Brian Beautemps says something's worth dollars and they're happy with dollars, then it's worth dollars.

But then what?

Smuggle it out the country?

Flick it on to your collector mates in Europe for grand?

More like .

That's what I got for that whalebone Patu last month.

This is so wrong, and you know it.

It's called the free market, my friend.

Are you going to take that?

Uh, pesky fans.

Time to go and see a man about a dog.

Good night, all.

Was that about the painting?

God knows.

There was always some kind of dodgy deal going on.

You know, to be honest, I don't really care about any of this.

I mean, you know, I care, but not as much as some people.

Such as DK.

- DK's passionate, It doesn't make him violent.

So if it wasn't this you were angry about, what was it?

It's a professionalism thing.

You know, I care about doing a job right.

Your reputation is everything.

There you are.

What the hell is this?

Sorry?

Uh, can you give us a moment?

- Well...

- Look, I know you have a job.

I also have a job.

I have to salvage a sinking ship.

Please.

I'm done, actually, anyway, so thank you.

What the hell is this?

Mr. Simpson.

Can I help you?

Well, I was wondering when I might get my asset back.

It's still unpaid for.

You don't seriously think anyone will buy that now?

Someone d*ed in it.

Well, there is a certain market for that kind of thing.

Right, well, you'll be informed in due course.

Fine.

Good day.

Uh, Sydney.

Dropped something.

Sydney Simpson had access to Brian's room after he delivered the garrote.

You mean he kept the door key?

Interview one, his fingerprints match those on the chair and...

Well, what's this from?

Voice mail from Brian's motel room.

Oh, okay.

You told me and Detective Shepherd that on the afternoon in question, you left the garrote in the room, polished it, and left.

I did, yes.

Spick and span, all part of the service.

Yes.

So, why then are your fingerprints still all over it?

How do you explain that, Sydney?

Well, I may have gone back.

May or did?

I may have gone in.

♪ ♪ Alright, alright, I...

I considered repossessing it.

God, it's a damned awkward thing.

So I left him several messages instead.

Not that he replied.

And what did these messages say?

Well, they were about making payment at his earliest convenience, et cetera.

Might the et cetera be more like, "Pay up, you pompous bastard.

I know you're leaving town first thing.

I know your type, I will publicly shame you."?

That was at : .

We have access to the voice mail in Brian's room.

And how did you plan to publicly shame him, Sydney?

Please, look, I was..

I was emotional and frustrated.

That's all.

You know, to a man like Brian Beautemps, money's cheap, but to me, dollars is a lot.

He'd already ignored my call to his mobile.

I rang the room.

There was no answer.

I...

I left that message.

But not his room key on the table, as you said.

Technically speaking, that's a porky, Sydney.

I should have admitted that, but he d*ed.

I could have been incriminated.

Do you recognize this number?

Well, that's my shop number.

So you called Brian again at : p.m.

He ignored that, as well.

Possibly because he was already dead.

- Well, I didn't know that.

- Didn't you?

Well, if I did, I wouldn't have bothered.

We need to be sure about that.

Just wait a minute.

Um, thank you for your time, Sydney.

♪ ♪ No one saw Brian leave his room.

The motel phone logs show that he ignored a land line call from Sydney.

Which would have come up as a "no caller" I.D.

He could have been sleeping.

But we know Lord Ashbury left at : p.m., as witnessed by Buzz McLarty.

He would have to have fallen asleep very quickly.

Unlikely.

Or maybe Lord Ashbury was simply the last person to see him alive, and therefore the person who k*lled him.

Should we take a team out and bring him in?

No, best we keep it casual.

♪ ♪ Detective, another lovely day.

Well, you've caught us fresh from our architects.

First sketches for the new school.

- So exciting.

- Would you care to see them?

Uh, perhaps another time.

Tony, following new inquiries, I need you to come down to the station for some further questions.

New inquiries?

I don't understand.

Well, best we go through them at the station.

No.

There must be some mistake.

Well, they're just questions at this stage.

Now?

Yeah.

Now would be most helpful.

Detective, this is completely unnecessary.

Well, if it is, then no harm done.

It's all right, darling.

It's obviously just a misunderstanding.

Oh.

But if you know a good lawyer...

♪ ♪ ♪ Word gets around ♪ ♪ Travels all the way ♪ ♪ Turns up at your door ♪ ♪ It just blows right in ♪ No way.

♪ Down a river ♪ ♪ With a lovable fake ♪ Lord Ashbury.

♪ Cheaper than cheap wine ♪ All the best, mate.

Was that a set up?

No.

- A bloody ambush.

- It's a public place.

Don't worry about Cushla.

"Brokenwood Courier." Tomorrow's fish and chip paper at best.

Dennis Buchanan, barrister, solicitor, and, well, I'm an occasional miracle worker.

- Anthony Ashbury.

- Oh, I know.

I know.

Let's not forget about the Lord.

- Earl, actually.

- Oh, even better!

Jools Fahey and I go way back.

So anything to help a friend in need.

And of course, the monarchy in a time of crisis.

Shall we?

As you both know, I've only had a brief time to consult with my esteemed client, but he wants to make it very clear of his movements on the night in question.

Yes, he did visit Mr. Beautemps approximately : p.m.

And they discussed the value of his painting by...

Jan Vinkelbraun.

Quite.

He then headed home.

- At speed.

- What?

A witness describes you leaving in haste.

Wouldn't you if you had the lovely Jools Fahey waiting at home for you?

Context is important.

Jools Fahey recalls you arriving home : p.m., yet you were driving fast.

Yes.

How do you account for the time between leaving the motel and arriving home?

A drive that would have taken minutes at most.

I stopped for a pint at the, uh, Snake and Tiger.

At what time?

Around closing.

I spoke with a charming barmaid.

Trudes.

No doubt that fine, upstanding citizen, Trudy Nielsen.

Perhaps you gentlemen would like to take some time to corroborate my client's alibi.

♪ ♪ Yeah, I remember the Lord coming in.

And it was right on closing?

Is this about the terms of my parole?

No.

I didn't contravene the liquor license.

I'm not saying you did.

I have special exemption to work here for my brother, Ray.

I'm not about to screw that up for him or me.

I'm building a very specific timeline, that's all.

I'd just called last drinks.

I cut his lordship some slack.

He looked like he needed it.

A pint of bitter, please.

With that accent, would you like it warmed up a bit?

As it comes.

Thank you.

You're cutting it fine.

Any drink that's ordered before : can be finished.

I sent him out the door about : .

He was the last to leave.

- Did you talk to him again?

- No.

He looked like a man who wanted to drink in peace.

Boss, assuming we take the word of Trudy Nielsen, Lord Ashbury's story stacks up.

He arrived two minutes before closing.

Okay.

Time the drive from the motel to the Snake and Tiger.

Yeah, got it.

Trudy Nielsen has verified your story.

There you go.

I remain interested in the time that you spent with Brian Beautemps.

As I said, we talked about art.

What more can I say?

Well, at this stage, you're the last person to see him alive.

Perhaps I was.

Detective Shepherd, unless you have any further questions for his lordship, we might as well retire to a more comfortable establishment and a G&T.

Or a Pimm's.

♪ ♪ Sims?

Gemma?

Um, I have some information.

- Yes?

- A recording.

Okay, you recorded what exactly?

It's illegal to record people without their consent, but I made it accidentally.

What the hell is this?

There is nothing of the day's sh**t on here.

- What?

- It's just a bunch of toilets flushing, traffic noise, someone running a bath.

Oh, no way.

I admit, I was...

I was pretty wasted.

Boom!

Hang on.

Are we -- are we on?

I got to go.

I got to go.

I got to go sort my rushes.

When I was transferring the data, I must have pushed record.

It wasn't a deliberate act.

I just pushed the wrong button and forgot about it.

I couldn't believe what I'd done until I listened back to it.

What did you hear?

The microphone was facing Brian's room, and he had a visitor.

Sorry, so you heard Brian with someone, and it's recorded?

It's the final minute you'll be most interested in, I think.

It's all a fake!

You don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Got your number, Mr. Ashbury.

- Is that...?

- Ssh!

There's more.

Well, well...

Why did it stop?

Uh, the battery d*ed.

You mean...?

It finished recording.

That's all there is.

Does the data card have a time code?

Thanks, Gemma.

That's very helpful.

We can now place you in Brian's room between : and : p.m.

I'd already told you that.

Please, detectives, this is not new evidence of anything.

At : , you were heard arguing.

You didn't mention that.

- Heard by who?

- A witness.

Are they reliable?

It was recorded digitally.

We've heard you arguing and then leaving the room at : .

And then seen by another witness driving off at speed.

You then arrived at the Snake and Tiger in an anxious state.

Brian reaffirmed the value of your painting, correct?

- Yes.

- Ah.

So why were you anxious?

I don't recall being anxious.

It's all a fake!

You don't know what the hell you're talking about.

There's a gap between you leaving and a knock on Brian's door.

Was that you?

A knock?

No.

It's time enough to leave and double back.

- It wasn't me.

- It wasn't him.

Mr. Buchanan, please.

I can speak for myself.

Is that wise?

It is when you're telling the truth.

I left.

And I did not return.

Boss.

Tech boys finally cracked Brian's phone and found these, the last four photos taken at : p.m.

And given his arms are bound, they're not selfies, are they?

No, there's definitely someone else in the room with him.

How long's the drive between the motel and the Snake and Tiger?

Seven and a half minutes at pace.

Lord Ashbury arrived at : .

So whoever was behind the camera was the last person to see Brian alive.

And the first person to see him dead because six minutes later, he wasn't answering his motel phone.

But as far as Lord Ashbury goes.

He didn't take the photos.

So he's not our man.

Well, Detective, barking up the wrong tree's nothing to be ashamed of, said the rabid dog to the bishop.

An occupational hazard, no doubt.

Thank you for your understanding.

No hard feelings.

Oh, thank God.

What would I do without you?

Oh, now, now.

It was all a silly misunderstanding.

♪ ♪ I shall expect a printed apology.

Nothing less.

Said the actress to the bishop.

I have to admit, I'm disappointed in this fiasco, Detective Shepherd.

I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.

What's the difference between an Earl and a Lord?

Not a lot.

Tony is the th Earl of Ashbury.

What people here don't quite understand is that Earl, Lord, Viscount they're all much the same.

Not that I care about titles.

It's the man within that counts, and he is quite something else.

When Brian opened the door, he said, "Well, well," which strongly suggests he knew the person.

So who did he know?

Gemma Lowe?

She and Andie Powell were drinking in DK's room.

Gemma left first.

You're not going to stick around for Gourmet Ray's party pizza?

No, no, I've drunk enough.

Honestly.

Returning to her room, took a bath, which can be heard on her inadvertent recording.

Then Andie left, which means...

That for DK being in his room at time of death, we only have his word for it.

Louise Rice?

She was working in her room.

I checked the times of her e-mails.

You write a lot of e-mails.

I'm a producer.

That's what we do.

What's Brian's Antiques Show?

Confidential.

Brian was developing a new program.

Sadly, that show won't happen now.

We're you all going to work on it?

Some of us.

I had to let DK go.

Too much friction between him and Brian.

Andie -- Well, Brian felt the new show needed more of a male director's touch.

Right, I'll leave you to it.

Jennifer Furrows.

She was having a video chat with her boyfriend, Glenn Tyson.

Would it be possible to see the log for the call that you made to your partner on the night in question?

Seriously?

Yeah, just dotting my I's and...

What my partner and I do online is private.

Yes, well, um, it's a voluntary request, but it will help.

Fine.

There.

minutes.

Wow, that's a lot to talk about.

Touring is hard.

My partner and I watch movies together over Vid-Connect.

It's almost like being together on the couch.

Right.

And, um, what was the movie?

Uh, "Brain Dead." It's a zombie thing.

It's -- it's a little excessive, but, you know, it's one of Glenn's favorites.

Pretty hard to watch a movie and videotape boyfriend while turning the crank on a garrote.

Brian also knew Lord Ashbury.

No, leave it up there.

Something still doesn't add up.

He also knew Sydney Simpson.

Well, he was running around leaving abusive messages.

There's no way he could have taken these photos and then made it back to his store to make that final call at : .

Copies of the victim's bank records.

No withdrawals since he d*ed, and nothing particularly unusual to suggest bad debts.

Thanks.

Sims, head into the city and get a formal statement from Glenn Tyson, to be sure.

And, Breen, your Sparky was on the premises, too.

Yes.

Yes, boss.

Hey, what's this large number that repeats?

Um, that's his pay packet.

Seriously?

It's more than I...

I'm in the wrong business.

Buzz, DC Breen.

How's the surf?

Primo.

We need a formal statement of your movements the other night.

Hunkered down all night till I came out here for the point break.

With no one to corroborate that.

I was talking to my mum for a good half hour before I fell asleep.

Right.

Uh, can I grab her number?

She's with me here at the beach if you want to come out and have a word.

Okay, will do.

♪ ♪ Yeah, Jen and I were on Vid-Connect.

I told you that.

I just need a few more details, if that's okay.

Yeah.

I understand it was one continuous call.

Or did you make a series of calls that night?

Uh, no.

Yeah.

It was just the one call.

We do it most nights when Jen's on the road.

It's a good way to connect and, you know, to have a bit of um...

fun.

Hey.

You look beautiful tonight.

Oh, darling, thanks.

Oh, I miss you.

Yeah.

- Anything else, anything?

- No, I -- Come on.

Do I have to, um...

You know, because things can get kind of personal.

Sure.

Um, I just need to sight your call log.

Yeah.

Um, anything you need.

minutes.

That's a lot of personal time.

Yeah, yeah, we often watch a movie together.

That's romantic.

I guess.

And what was the movie?

"Brain Dead." Yeah, it's a zombie classic.

Okay, good, thanks.

Well, technically, it is a romantic comedy, just with some gore and a lot of splatter.

Yeah.

It's, uh...

it's probably not really my thing.

Well, don't knock it till you've tried it.

♪ ♪ Bit of a snoop, are you?

I was under the impression your mum was with you.

Yeah, always.

Mum, this is Detective Constable Breen.

Wants to have a word.

I lost her once.

I'm not losing here again.

Aren't these incredible?

Truly a collection.

So, Buzz, after you got into the van, you spoke to..

...her.

Like I do every night.

Sorry I didn't do better with it all, Mum.

I will keep trying, I promise.

You might not understand this, but I have a deep passion within me to see her dream through.

unique towns represented here, and these bloody telly people dismissed it as a joke.

Heartbreaking, if I'm honest.

Could that heartbreak have manifested itself in anger?

What?

Did you visit Brian's room?

No way.

Sure about that?

When your mother dies, you have to live a blameless life, mate, knowing she's watching your every move.

Some people have God as their witness.

I have my mother.

How did you feel about Brian starting another show?

"Brian's Antique Show"?

And how did you know about that?

It's our job to know things.

Is that why you were angry?

Because you got fired?

Well, yeah, yeah, I was miffed that Brian didn't have the guts to tell us himself.

Instead he got ice queen Louise to do it for him.

Come on!

He is the one who refused to film!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Thanks for the solidarity.

She's the director.

It is her job to get it in the can.

- Yeah - This should come as no surprise.

Brian doesn't want either of you on his new show.

When I last saw Brian, he was alive and well.

At what time was this?

I don't know.

Um, just before : .

Hard to tell.

I was -- I was a bit pissy eyed and pissed off in general.

Thanks.

We'll let you know when you're clear to leave town.

There were no other guests staying in the motel that night, correct?

None.

Marcus Donovan said they booked the whole place out for privacy.

Why?

When Brian was found, he wasn't wearing a bathrobe.

Detective, can I interest you in a ticket?

Only bucks.

Um, I'll pass.

Thanks.

You don't know what you're missing out on.

Wise choice.

Word is it's Doug Randall's severed head.

♪ ♪ The night Brian d*ed, he searched Lord Ashbury, Vinkelbraun, and recent hei tiki sales on a French auction house.

Ruthless.

What do you know about this Vinkelbraun?

Didn't you study art history?

Uh, psychology.

But some would say they are inextricably linked.

But Google says...

"a th century contemporary of George Breitner." By the looks of it, he was an impressionist.

d*ed young, , of syphilis.

Very de rigueur.

And by the looks of it, he's generally considered second rate to the more famous painters of the period.

Are you thinking it was stolen?

That's a possibility.

Stolen art work's pretty hard to flog these days.

Unless the intention wasn't to actually sell it.

Still cheering the local wine society, I see.

Yeah, and I'm retiring soon, so I'm planning to get into judging.

Yes, Lord Ashbury tried to borrow against this painting.

But you didn't.

Charity work in Papua New Guinea is without doubt a noble cause.

Thank you, Bernie.

And as intriguing as the painting is, I just don't have the latitude to lend against it.

It's a Vinkelbraun.

I understand that.

Brian Beautemps has put a conservative estimate of half a million New Zealand dollars on it.

I thought you were gonna auction it.

Planned to, but with all this Beautemps business, it all feels rather distasteful.

It might seem we were exposing his demise.

I'm sorry, love.

It's not the result I was expecting.

We could look at this another way.

My house could be collateral.

Absolutely not.

No, we simply wait for the dust to settle and auction it later.

Six months.

Or perhaps .

Those children in Papua New Guinea can't wait another year.

No, there's no way you need to be doing that.

But she did anyway.

Yes.

Of course Lord Ashbury could have always sold his Jag instead.

Not his to sell.

Mrs. Fahey leased it for him.

Aristocrats, eh?

Asset rich, cash poor.

And he is quite something else.

Huh.

From memory, you claim to be the th Earl of Ashbury, yet people call you Lord?

Earl.

Viscount.

People opt for the easier option -- Lord.

It doesn't bother me.

But yes, technically, I'm Earl Anthony Ashbury.

Technically you are.

And that's what you rely on, isn't it?

Sorry?

Ignorance, confusion.

It's a curious thing how a name like Earl can be a title, too.

You see, I've been wrestling with why Brian used the phrase "It's all a fake." I mean, given he was trying to sell you the garrote, why would he point out it was a fake?

He knew I was on to him.

Or was he on to you?

The Vinkelbraun?

Is that the fake?

It's an original.

Or is it's "all a fake" referring to everything about you?

Good God, man.

Well, it would explain your angry departure, the urgent need for a late night drink.

I mean, what were you thinking?

That the game was up?

But the next morning, a stroke of luck, Brian Beautemps is found dead.

Your secret is safe.

So you exploited the opportunity to approach the bank playing the passionate philanthropist, a process through which Jools chooses to mortgage her house to generate cash for a charity in your name.

Am I close?

You're right.

About one thing.

Brian was accusatory.

You're no more a Lord than I'm an astronaut.

The name, the painting, it's all a fake.

But my silence can be bought.

It was a blackmail proposition.

Those were the accusations, which, of course, are not true, as my passport clearly states.

Take it away.

Check it out if you must.

I'll do that.

And if the Vinkelbraun is a forgery, you'll be facing charges.

I guarantee it is not a forgery.

Or stolen.

It's not stolen.

I need you to stay in the district while things get sorted.

Jools is a marvellous woman.

Why would I leave?

And there she is now.

I assure you, the Vinkelbraun is an original.

As is my passport.

I hope so.

Oh, if you do have something to say to Jools, do it now, for her sake at least.

♪ ♪ So we now know Andie Powell was the last to see Brian alive, entering his room at : p.m.

Yet Brian wasn't wearing the robe when found, and none of the remaining suspects fit the description.

A gray haired gentleman.

What about Buzz McLarty?

He was in his van at the time.

And something tells me he's not a robe guy.

Probably sleeps in the nude.

Mm.

So are we looking for a phantom guest?

Ray Neilson was in the vicinity.

Pay him a visit and ask him about his special offer, too.

I never went back to the motel.

I was lucky to get out of there alive.

Jesus Christ!

Three wheels, good, four wheels better, if you know what I mean.

If I was to spend dollars on the party pizza special, how many pizzas would I get?

That's an even hundy for the pizza.

One pizza with two free sides.

No harm in that.

Look, it's a service designed for the tourists who find themselves caught short.

We don't want them leaving town saying this place is a downer.

Take it easy, Ray.

We just have a couple of further questions.

Well, I hope this is the last of them.

I am desperate to get home to see my Glenn, and we all really need to put this awful business behind us.

Here you go.

Black, white, and almond flat white.

Thank you, Frodo.

Yeah, I don't want to be rude, but I was kind of still hoping for that selfie.

- Well...

- When I was a kid, you were the weather lady on TV, and you were totally awesome.

So you said.

I swear, it never rained when I was a kid.

Not when you did the weather.

You are too kind.

Come on then.

Would you?

Pleasure.

It's good.

So awesome!

Thanks.

You're welcome.

I mean, some people reckon you're washed up, but not me.

No way.

You're great, especially on the weather.

Thanks.

Fans -- got to love them.

So you'll no doubt be looking for a new presenting role once all this settles down.

Oh, maybe not.

I mean, the show's what the audience loved.

Brian and I were merely wallpaper.

No, I'm sure the show will go on, and Brian will be replaced by someone younger.

As they would have when he left to start his new project, uh, "Brian's Antique Show." Indeed.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Sorry, you just having a bit of "me" time.

Why did he sit in there and let someone do what they did?

No one heard him scream, and there's no signs of a struggle.

Did he have a death wish?

Uh, seems like he was into a bit of t*rture, maybe a B&D act gone wrong.

Ashbury's passport checks out.

Hm.

Okay, thanks.

Oh, hi, Gina.

Good evening, Mike.

Gina.

I have toxicology reports.

- Alcohol?

- Yes, but not so much.

Anything else?

Yes, I have time of death.

I think we might be ahead of you for once.

Between : and : p.m.

There is no way you can be that exact.

Uh, we have some forensic evidence.

Well, I'll, uh, leave you both to it.

I had it down as between : and : p.m.

Mike, I have let you down.

Not at all.

How long will it have taken Beautemps to die?

On that, I can be very precise.

Please sit, and I will demonstrate.

I'd rather not.

What about Kristin?

I think she's busy.

Shame.

As the screw presses into the base of the neck, which is rigid against the leather belt, the air supply is cut off or the neck is broken.

Both can occur within a minute, depending on the speed the crank is turned.

And how fast depends on the mood.

The Spanish are a very moody people.

And with alcohol in his system, he could have been caught off guard.

Yes, he could have been jolly, then not jolly at all.

Speaking of mood, I would like to take this opportunity to offer you something very personal.

My Russian yak horn.

I know you work hard, and this has many, many health benefits besides libido, which I'm sure you have no problems with at all.

Please, Mike, my gift to you.

Sorry, Mike, uh, Louise Rice is at the front desk.

Hold that thought, Gina.

Of course.

Duty calls.

I thought you were busy.

I just wanted to let you know that I'll be moving the crew on tomorrow, unless you have any more questions.

Uh, no, you've been very helpful.

Thank you.

Tell me, will you stay with Jennifer Furrows then on "All Things Old and Beautiful"?

Uh, no, there won't be a show.

Well, she thought you might recast.

Without Brian?

He was the show.

Will she take over the new program then?

What, are you her agent now?

Oh, no, I'm just assuming these shows must go on somehow.

Well, when "All Things Old and Beautiful" started, Brian was the antiquities expert.

Jennifer was the presenter.

She would throw to him, "So, Brian, what can you tell me about the th century Devonshire tea sets?" And he would wax lyrical, and the audience loved him.

Very quickly he became Jennifer's equal and so much more.

In the end, she was just a passenger.

The world can be a lonely place for ex-weather girls.

Goodbye, Detective.

Hey, Mike.

In these three photos, the background is the same, but in the fourth, you can see a shape here.

What is that?

Is that a heater?

Open lid of a laptop.

And we know from the crime scene that Brian never had a laptop, only a tablet.

That laptop had to belong to the offender.

Hi, Glenn.

I just have a few further questions.

I need to lodge a missing person report.

For?

My Tony, Lord Ashbury, of course.

Please come through to my office.

Obviously, he's been kidnapped.

Let's not rush to any conclusions.

Why else would he just disappear?

How long has he been gone?

Almost hours.

It's completely unlike him.

You called Tony "Lord Ashbury." That's his name.

Uh...

Mike Shepherd.

I really am awfully sorry about all this old chap.

Where are you?

Oh, well, let's just say somewhere warm and far from the jurisdiction of New Zealand law.

With things like passports, it's always good to have a spare or two.

And if Jools doesn't want it, you are welcome to keep the Vinkelbraun.

Served it's purpose.

I'm moving on to Delandez.

An obscure contemporary of Picasso.

Well done, Detective.

The Internet can be so helpful when one wants to create art history, biography, whatever you like.

Could you say goodbye to Jools for me?

I really did love her.

It would be more honorable coming from you.

As a matter of fact, she's sitting right in front of me, very worried.

You know women, Detective.

Always best to let them down gently.

Adieu.

Good news?

Sims.

Jennifer Furrows' boyfriend said the connection was weak.

So it was one continuous call, but most of it was audio only.

Bring him in for an interview.

Okay.

Indeed, that was Tony -- Lord Ashbury.

Oh.

He's...

Come on, mate, we're leaving.

It is completely unreasonable for you to ask us to stay any longer.

I understand.

You're free to go, except Miss Furrows.

I need clarification on something I'm still in the dark on.

♪ ♪ You started your video call at : p.m.

Yeah, after we'd had some fun, we watched a movie together.

This bit is crazy.

But seriously, if you're faced with a zombie, that's the way you want to deal with it.

I'm having trouble seeing you.

Jen asked if we could go audio only.

I mean, it often happens when she's touring The Boondocks.

Of course, your mind wasn't so much on the movie, was it?

I'll turn my camera off.

At least then, I can hear you, darling.

Could you take off your wig please?

- Uh...

- It's important.

I need to insist.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ You had bigger issues to deal with than a movie, didn't you?

I did.

You need to know Brian was the most ungenerous man I ever met.

I couldn't believe he had the temerity to leave the show.

I mean, where was I supposed to go?

I need to use a lady's, hon.

Shall I spare you the details?

Oh, yeah, go on.

I don't need to hear that.

Stand by, caller.

Oh, don't do it.

Don't do it.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Well, well, well.

♪ ♪ Well, this is a new look, you dark horse.

I didn't know you were going this way.

Maybe it's an old look.

There is so much you don't know about me, Brian.

Qu'est-ce que c'est?

I thought we could write a statement together, you know, about your leaving the show.

Look, it's about professional growth.

You understand?

Nothing personal.

Huh.

Have you posted on your blog yet?

Uh, just one.

I need better angles.

Could you, um...

Of course.

Right.

Um...

Oh, now why don't we strap you in?

Make it look like the real deal?

- Why not?

Okay.

- Hmm?

Yeah.

There you go.

- Yes.

- Yep.

Now, does this go around here?

Yeah, around the elbows.

Right.

Nice and tight?

Yeah?

That's so tight.

Exciting.

Right, there we go.

- Okay.

- Right.

Should I smile?

Yeah.

Big smile.

Hmm.

There you go.

Well, I look very handsome, I must say.

There's something about being relaxed in the executioner's chair that makes you...

quite alluring.

So... go on.

Undo me.

Oh, that's better, darling.

Oh, good, you're back for the gory bit.

- Party's over.

- That's great.

Ohh.

Steady on!

Oh!

The movie's is pretty gruesome in places, but like I said, it's just a bit of fun.

Oh!

See, that's over the top.

That was good.

Yeah.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ I've been thinking maybe it's time for us to get a puppy.

A puppy?

Yeah, yeah, I'd be up for that.

Hey.

God, so tired.

Night, night, darling.

See you soon.

Oh, okay.

Um, good night.

That term "out of body experience," I know what that means now.

It's like I had the thought, and then I was doing it.

It's like it was done before I'd even finished the thought.

When exactly did you find out about Brian's plan?

What take is it?

Oh, God, eight, nine.

I've lost count.

You should know I'm leaving.

I've lined up something new with the network.

Bigger fish to fry.

I've called it "Brian's Antiques Show." And action!

So join me, Jennifer Farrows.

And moi, Brian Beautemps, at this week's venue, the quaint and curious historic sawmill.

Here in beautiful, bucolic Brokenwood.

A place we're sure is home to...

All things Old and Beautiful.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Truce.

So why the change of heart?

Well, my boss found your front page scoop useful.

Huh.

Turns out Earl Anthony Ashbury is literally just Earl, some art school dropout scamming his way across the globe.

Okay, listen again, everybody.

The winner of the mystery box raffle is...

...number , Kristin Sims.

Wait, what?

I didn't buy a ticket.

I did.

For you.

A peace offering.

Wow.

I don't know what to say.

How about "thanks"?

Aren't you going to open it?

Yeah, can't wait.

Oh.

Okay.

It's my great grandmother's doll collection.

What use have I got of it?

Still, it's worth dollars for children with disabilities, so...

Aren't they cute?

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪