12x07 - The Big Cock

[bunniefuu]

Boys.

Hey, Julian.

Where have you been?

I was just...

running around, man.

Okay, well, I think this is the final tweak.

No way.

I think this is the final tweak right here.

I just want to make a toast to the two best friends and the two best business partners a guy could ever have.

Let this be the final one.

-Here, Ricky.

-Looks pretty clear, man.

-Thanks, buddy.

-Oh, it's clear.

It's clear as f*ck.

-It smells f*cking good.

-[exhalation]

All right!

Let's try it out.

-[Bubbles]

Come on, baby.

-Excited.

Come on, baby.

Holy f*ck, that's smooth, man!

That is f*cking delicious!

-Yes!

-Awesome!

Yes!

I've been workin' with Ricky and Julian non-stop on this beer and I've gotta say it's been the greatest time of my life.

There's no illegal stuff, no f*cking bullshit; everybody's pulling their weight.

The boys actually kept their f*cking word.

[voice breaking]

And I've never been more proud of them.

It's been really, really hard not breaking the law, but we promised Bubbles we wouldn't and we're sticking to it.

Other than picking a few magic mushrooms under the trailers and...

[exhaling]

...selling them for a bit of grocery money here and there, I'm 100% on the straight of narrow.

And it feels really good not having secrets.

I mean, well, other than what I just told you guys, but...

just keep that to yourselves.

[Julian]

It's been actually pretty cool working for Bubs and, you know, just sitting back and letting him run things for once.

I've been working as a sales rep, and...

I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging or anything, but I just locked in a deal with the Legion to supply them with beer for the provincial dart championship coming up.

That's 60 cases.

I mean, that's f*cking massive for us.

And I did it.

Hm.

To Julian, and to 60 cases!

Let this be the start of many more f*cking deals to come!

-f*ck yeah.

-Way to go, Julian!

Boys, it's not just me, okay?

It's all of us.

We're a team.

We should probably f*cking include Big Hawk in this too.

[laughing]

The guy you did the deal with, that's his f*cking name or is that a nickname?

-It's his f*cking nickname, obviously.

-Well, it's a f*cked name either way.

All right, to Big Hawk!

All right.

-Big Hawk.

-f*ck that is smooth.

That's like a...

[Julian]

Boys, speaking of names, I've been thinking about this all f*cking night, you know.

Check this out...

Freedom 35.

-That's what the beer should be called.

-[Ricky scoffing]

No, think, boys.

It's something we've been trying to achieve our entire lives and because of this f*cking beer, I think we're finally gonna make it this time.

-It's perfect.

-No, it's dumb.

It's a dumb f*cking name.

It's not a dumb name, Ricky.

Dumb's not the word.

But, Julian, it's f*cking huge decision.

So you know, maybe we should think about it, get consensus amongst the board of directors.

It's actually kind of too late.

I think it's f*cking perfect.

Here, check these out.

Holy f*ck!

-[Ricky]

Those are nice.

-That's the logo?

[Julian]

And...

check out this shirt, buddy.

Oh...

We have uniforms, boys.

-[Bubbles]

It's got my name on it!

-Yep.

I never had a shirt with my name on it before.

That's f*cking badass.

Decent!

-You know what, Julian?

-What?

-I do love it.

-Thank you.

-I think it's f*cking perfect.

-So do I.

Freedom 35, that's the name.

I love it!

If you guys like it, I guess, but, if it's gonna have a shitty name, it's gonna have to have a f*cking kick-ass f*cking slogan.

I already thought of that.

Check this out: "Freedom 35.

Drink the dream." Oh yeah, that's really f*cking catchy.

-It's not...

-What?

[Bubbles]

It's not bad, Ricky.

But you know, Julian, I think slogans should...

be a little more, you know, developed.

How about this?

"Freedom 35.

This is what freedom tastes like." -Eh?

-All right, okay...

That's gonna look good on the box.

No, they both f*cking suck, actually.

You guys clearly know nothing about markeling.

Okay, what do you f*cking think then, genius?

It's just got to be...

simple and basic.

Like...

all right.

"Freedom 35.

Drink our beer." -It's kind of right on the nose.

-[Ricky gurgling, spitting]

-Ricky!

-Ricky!

f*ck!

Here, you're getting it on your uniform.

All over my new uniform!

All over my f*cking joint!

Now it's gotta be laundered.

[theme music]

-Do you like it hard or soft?

-Ricky!

Hard or soft?

-Would you f*ck off?

-Was that too much?

-I'm just f*cking around, Bubs.

-I'm trying to f*cking focus here.

Okay, no, I'm not gonna bug you.

It's all good.

Rick, put the beer cock down and stop f*cking around, okay?

We've got a big day ahead of us.

-We all need to be focused.

-No sh*t!

Don't worry about me.

I'm f*cking razor-focused, bud.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

What's the plan, then?

We gotta get all the f*cking sh*t done, boys!

Yeah!

Wrong.

Just to be clear again, we've gotta go to Reggie's, pick up all the bottles, -get back here, do all the bottling...

-I know.

...all the labelling, and get to the Legion for 5:00 or else Big Hawk's gonna be pissed off, and so will I.

So let's get this done.

That's pretty much what I f*cking said, Julian.

No, it isn't.

-You all set, Bubs?

-Yes.

Just remember, I've got no power steering, no power brakes.

Take it f*cking easy.

We were able to buy my truck back from the pawn shop, except the dirty cocksucker that runs the place sold the g*dd*mn engine out of it.

But, not a big deal.

You know, if the business keeps growing the way it has been, I'll be able to put a brand new engine in it someday.

Hopefully.

-Here we go.

-[engine roaring]

Ricky, Ricky!

Slow the f*ck down...

All right, and we're off.

[singing William Tell Overture]

Randy, you've got to admit, bud, you've got a gift.

And I'm telling you, we go back to that track, you use your old f*cking noggin, we're gonna win back all the money we lost, bud.

We?

You lost the money.

We talked about this.

We're never going back to the track again.

If you go back to the track, you're gonna lose.

At the horses and me, Mr. Lahey.

Randy...

[George]

Gentlemen!

I took the liberty of...

making a few purchases, for the company.

I see.

We're gonna have to up the surveillance if we're gonna take those guys down.

Who said anything about taking those guys down?

Since Julian got out, they haven't even been frigging with us.

Sorry.

Am I missing something here?

Yeah, George, maybe you are missing something.

'Cause every time we kick the old sh*t hive, the old f*cking sh*t bees swarm the sh*t out of us.

Yeah.

George, we're really not interested.

-Just let them make their beer.

-Please.

Tell me you two don't actually believe that all they're doing down there is making beer?

Please tell me you're not that stupid!

You're always talking about sh*t, Jim.

Why don't you wake the f*ck up and smell it for once?

g*dd*mn idiots!

We've got a problem, Rands.

What the f*ck is that?

I don't know, it's some kind of...

robot thingy.

Hey, the Reg!

'Sup, buddy?

Ricky!

How you doing, you old ostrich fucker?

-[Julian chuckles]

-Please tell me you are packing some of those f*cking mushrooms, bro.

I got so f*cked up on those things, I could have sucked the cock off a crocodile.

-[Ricky clearing throat]

-What mushrooms are you talking about?

'Shrooms?

Must have got those from somebody else.

I haven't had 'shrooms in a f*cking long time.

Like, years.

[Julian]

Think we can grab those f*cking bottles?

We're in a bit of a rush, Reg.

-Yeah.

No bottles.

-What?

Crushed the sh*t out of those bottles.

What?

What the f*ck do you mean?

Yeah, I was tripping on them 'shrooms, bro, and I...

I got on the old front-end loader and, uh...

well, I was like a Tyrannosaurus rex f*cking a goat up there.

-[Ricky laughing]

-Pretty much trashed the whole yard.

Oh, yeah?

Okay, so we're f*cked then!

This is great.

Oh, you know...

calm down, buddy.

I mean.

I feel slightly responsible here.

It's...

Why don't you go up to the recycling people?

They've got a sh*t-ton of bottles up there.

Jesus Christ, Reg, we were coming to you because you said you'd front them and we'd get you back later.

This is f*cking great, Julian!

This is great.

There's no way we can do this by 5:00 now!

We're f*cked!

Hey, hey, calm down.

We can still do it on 5:00.

[panting]

How, Ricky?

A f*cking good, old-fashioned bottle drive, that's how.

I'll round up my hockey kids.

We can f*cking do this.

Okay.

Let's go, Julian.

Let's get it going.

Right now.

-Okay.

-Let's go.

-Bottle drive.

-Ride with me.

We'll figure this out.

So dude, seriously.

[clearing throat]

You can get your hands on some of those mushrooms though?

[coughs]

I've got a sh*t-ton of them.

I've gotta keep it on the f*cking down low.

I've got some guys.

We can move that sh*t, buddy.

-Let's do a deal.

Come on.

-I can't do it.

Like, it's...

it's kind of like my retirement or whatever.

I can sell a little for some money when I need it, but... I can't get into anything illegal.

I promised Bubbles.

-Tiger teabaggin'...

-[Bubbles]

Honk, honk!

-I'm coming!

-Let's go, Ricky!

You said bottle drive, not bottle sit-in-the-f*cking-junkyard- where-there's-no-bottles!

I get it.

'Cause your f*cking crazy friend smashed them, high on mushrooms!

[sigh]

All right, look, if you change your mind, I got some Japanese.

They will pay top yen for this kind of good sh*t.

-Don't forget that.

-Top what?

Top yen, baby.

Top yen.

It's good yen.

-Top yen?

-Yen's good.

-What's a top...

-Top yen.

-Okay.

-Yung chow yen.

[Bubbles]

Hon-n-n-nk!

Seriously, tiger teabaggin' fucker.

You know what "can't" means to Reggie?

-What?

-It means "can." [engine ignition]

[Ricky]

All right kids, let's get some bottles.

And follow my leaf, let me do the talking, 'cause rich people are f*cked.

[knocking at door]

How you doing, darling?

We're on a bottle drive, trying to raise some money for these poor little girls.

They need braces.

Their teeth are f*cked.

Got anything you can help us out with?

-No!

Please get off my property.

-What the f*ck?

-[door closing]

-Thanks for your cock-sucking support!

f*cking rich people.

They make me sick!

[Julian knocking at door]

Hey, bud.

I'm just raising money for the kids.

Uh, do you got any empty beer bottles kicking around?

-[man grunts]

-No?

What about full ones?

Mm-hmm.

You got any f*cking booze here that you don't want?

-Mm-hmm.

-No?

[Bubbles]

Oh, for f*ck's sakes!

-f*ck off, then.

-That sucks.

-Julian.

-What?

We're trying to get empty bottles, not bottles of liquor.

Bubs, I didn't know this was gonna take so f*cking long, okay?

Let's just move it on to the next house.

Let's go.

How's it going?

I'm just doing a little bottle drive, trying to get some empties.

We're actually trying to raise money for little Darren here.

He needs eyes.

They're falling out.

He caughtched a disease.

You got anything here?

[woman]

No, sorry.

Can't help you.

-This blows.

-This isn't working.

I know, because everyone in this f*cking neighbourhood is a f*cking assh*le!

A full case!

Aren't you just a little angel sent from heaven.

Thank you, ma'am.

[girl]

You have yourself a wonderful day.

All right.

Let's go.

-[giggle]

-[box creaking]

-[glass shattering]

-You s...

stupid son of a...

-[woman]

I'll just go grab a broom.

-Sorry, it was an accident!

No, I didn't mean you.

I meant the box.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-[clinking]

Sorry about that.

It's not a big deal.

Let's just...

let's just go.

[whispering]

Let's just go.

-[Ricky knocking at door]

-[dog barking]

How's it going?

Just on a little bottle drive here, trying to raise some money for little Darren.

He needs a new heart, new lungs, new veins.

It's a mess.

My organs are totally f*cked.

That's right.

Can you help us out?

-Pathetic.

What are you doing?

-Oh, that's nice.

That's just f*cking...

What the f*ck is wrong with the people in this f*cking neighbourhood?

[Julian]

We got f*ck all, Bubs.

How'd you guys make out?

Well, not good, Julian.

I mean, what are we gonna do here?

There's no way we're gonna get enough to bottle up 60 cases.

This neighbourhood sucks buffalo balls.

We could be screwed here.

It's a lot harder than it used to be.

Do any of your dads f*cking drink a lot, kids?

Oh!

My dad's an alcoholic, and both of my uncles are too!

They live with us.

-Do you have a lot of empties there?

-Yeah, the whole shed's full!

-Ah...

-Oh, my God.

Ronnie, there's only one word right now that works for me to call you and I'm not allowed to use that word anymore.

I'm gonna have to make up a new one.

Are you f*cking de-tarded?

You can't say that.

It still means the same thing!

It means the same thing but it's not a bad word, right?

Well, then in that case, you're ducked in the head.

That means f*cked in the head, dummy.

Okay.

I know what it is.

Everybody shut the f*ck up.

Get the f*ck in the cars.

We're getting out of here.

[girl]

My God, the language.

[Ricky]

Where the f*ck do you live, Ronnie?

[Bubbles]

Holy f*ck, we did it boys, we did it.

f*cking rights, we did.

Look at all these f*cking things.

There has to be enough here for 60 cases, isn't there?

60?

Ricky, we could make 80 cases with the bottles here.

You had the f*cking idea.

-You saved the day, bud.

-f*cking right, buddy.

No matter how f*cked things get, if you just use your brain, you can accomplish anything.

Yeah.

Just be careful, Ricky.

I got this.

Top of my game, buddy.

Ricky!

Ricky!

[clattering]

Jesus Murph...

Ricky!

[Ricky]

Who the f*ck built those steps all crooked?

You went down like the ten chocolate layer cakes guy from Sesame Street.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

A little dizzy though, boys.

And my f*cking head feels like it's sweating all of a sudden for some reason.

-Ricky...

-Still got my f*cking joint though.

-Ricky...

-Holy f*ck.

-[grunting]

-Ricky...

uh-oh.

That's f*cking weird.

Why the f*ck is my sweat red, boys?

I'm gonna have to go...

take a piss or something.

-Ricky...

-[thud]

Good job, Ronnie.

Keep 'em flowing.

Normally I wouldn't allow the kids anywhere near the open liquor bottling stage like this.

But a lot of the bottles we got from Ronnie's place, they're full of old cigarette butts and loogies, even [whispering]

prophylactics.

So I just thought it was better to just put Cory and Jacob on that station.

This beer's f*cking delicious.

Jesus Murphy!

Can you guys not show that, please?

Maybe just cut that off?

We're gonna have to hurry up with this.

We're running out of time here.

Can you just hold still, please?

-This isn't working.

-It's still bleeding, Dad.

It's just a little cut.

Jacob, hurry the f*ck up with the duct tape, would you?

Here, Ricky.

I don't think it's gonna stop the bleeding though.

Correct.

It won't, Jacob.

Gonna have to borrow part of your shirt too, bud.

-Good thinking, dude.

-Nice.

[loud music playing on car stereo]

[engine revving, brakes squeaking]

[Ricky]

Hey!

Well, if it isn't three of the most f*cked people in the world!

[Tommy]

Hey, Ricky!

Long time no f*cking see, man.

What the f*ck are you doing with that Band-Aid?

[Ricky]

Just getting ready to ram it right up your ass.

Hey, word on the street, man, is you're...

sitting on a sh*t-ton of 'shroomies.

-Now, is that true?

-Is that right?

Well, I'm standing as you can f*cking see, so I guess it's not true, is it?

[laughs]

That's cute, man, but you see, Reggie told me.

He says you got a whole bunch.

We'd be real interested to take them off your hands, -if you know what I mean.

-No idea what you're talking about, bud.

Are you saying Reggie's a liar?

Is that what you're f*cking saying here?

No.

I said I don't know what the f*ck he's talking about.

-Call it whatever the f*ck you want.

-Look man, will you just f*cking listen to me for a second, all right?

Now Terry and Dennis here got a really good connection back in J-A-f*cking-pan, man, and we wanna make 'em happy.

So if you are sitting on a sh*t-ton of 'shroomies, let's say it'd be in your best interest to work out a deal with us now.

Really?

Okay.

How about this deal: get the f*ck back in your car and f*ck the f*ck off to wherever you f*cked on from.

-All right.

That's what we'll do.

-Perfect.

-No problem, man.

-All right.

No problem at all.

It's very unfortunate for you, but not a big f*cking deal, Ricky.

[car doors opening]

What the f*ck is that opposed to mean?

Unfortunate for me?

[car doors closing]

[George]

High-res surveillance.

This thing flies high enough that the boys are none the wiser.

I wish I had this f*cking thing years ago, Randers!

f*ck, George, this is really impressive!

I think we can be pretty confident that there's something illegal going on there.

Wouldn't you say, guys?

We don't know that for sure.

Plus we already told you that we're not interested if they are.

Right.

That's Tommy Rector, aka Tommy Bean, but...

I don't recognize the other two.

Well, I do.

That's Dennis and Terry.

Those are Cyrus' old sh*t buddies.

The last time they were in the park, they sh*t it up real f*cking good with machine g*ns.

Well, let's see where they're going, shall we?

Wait...

you can follow them out of the park?

Seven kilometre range, Jim.

I don't think we should be following them out of the park, Ge-- Randy!

Ricky, was that Tommy Bean?

Yep.

And Dennis and Terry were with him too.

What?

What the f*ck did they want?

f*cking Reggie told them I had a sh*t-ton of mushrooms.

They were here to buy them.

All of them, one-sh*t deal.

What do you mean all of them?

I mean, you don't got any, right?

-[Ricky grunts]

-Ricky?

-My f*ck, Ricky!

-All right, Julian, I'm gonna be totally f*cking honest with you.

Cory and Jacob managed to get their hands on a few, that I took, and I've been selling just enough for grocery money for my family, -which makes it not illegal.

-Oh, for f*ck's sakes, Ricky!

How many's a few?

[Bubbles]

All right, boys.

The last labels are just going on.

Let's get these dirty whores on the truck and get the f*ck to the Legion.

♪ Hee-hee ♪ Michael Jackson!

Bubbles is gonna lose his g*dd*mn f*cking mind!

Don't tell him.

"Don't tell him"...

f*ck's sakes, Ricky.

[buckles clicking]

Okay, boys, we're ready to rock.

Nice.

Look, I know I keep getting emotional and everything, but...

-let's go with the hugs.

-Bubs, we don't have time for hugs.

-We've gotta get going, man.

-Nope, don't care.

Love you guys, and I want hugs and I'm not ashamed to say it.

[whimpering]

-Thanks for everything, boys.

-All right.

I'm f*cking proud of you, guys and I mean that.

-[low]

We gotta f*cking talk.

-About what?

-Julian.

-What?

Into the buddy mobile, please.

-Are you serious?

-You're ridin' with me.

Yeah, let's go.

Come on.

Best buddies.

Going to make a big deal.

-[engine revving]

-Easy, Ricky, easy, easy!

[Julian]

Easy!

Honest to f*ck, Julian, I can barely contain myself.

I mean, our lives are so perfect now, and they're only gonna get perfecter, as Ricky would say.

Yeah, well, sh*t can always go wrong though, buddy.

-We've got to stay on top of things.

-What?

What do you mean?

What do you think's gonna go wrong?

I don't think anything's gonna go wrong.

I'm just saying, sh*t can always be perfecter.

Well, yeah, obviously.

I mean, if I had an engine in this thing, -that would make things better.

-[engine roaring]

Dude, I can't imagine if I went out with a dog.

That's kind of weird.

[Ricky]

Well, you know what, Cory?

Then better to be safe than sorry and never f*cking date a dog.

[Cory]

No, I mean, if I fell in love with it, I guess I could, but I don't know.

I just don't think I would though.

[Jacob]

Can we stop the...

so I can take a piss?

Oh, my God.

Why the f*ck did I even bring you guys?

-[g*nf*re, glass shattering]

-What the f*ck?

-Holy f*ck!

-[g*nsh*t]

Jesus Christ, somebody's sh**ting at us!

Julian, what the f*ck is that?

Tommy Bean!

Oh, for f*ck's sakes!

Do you got any g*ns up there?

I've got one with me...

Uhh...

I've got one under the seat and there's a shotgun in the trunk.

Well, pull over!

We've gotta fight these f*cking guys!

[Ricky]

Okay, boys, we're gonna have to f*cking sh**t this out.

Guys, no pussying out, all right?

You ready?

-Yeah, dude, I'm ready.

-All right, I'm pulling in.

There's a little street here.

I'm pulling in!

Get ready!

Julian, we're not getting in a f*cking gunfight!

Bubs, we're already in a gunfight, if you haven't f*cking noticed.

And when you are in a g*n fight, you need f*cking g*ns!

Trust me!

[Bubbles whimpering]

-Alright, alright.

-[Julian]

Stay down, Bubs!

-[screaming]

-[g*nf*re continues]

[Tommy]

It didn't have to be like this, Ricky!

I was gonna buy them off you.

But one way or another, we ain't leaving here without those 'shroomies!

[Ricky]

It's not mushrooms, you stupid f*ck!

It's beer!

[Tommy]

Beer?

What the f*ck you talking about, beer?

[Ricky]

We're taking Bubbles' beer down to Legion for the f*cking dart championships, and now we're f*cking late!

[Tommy]

So you mean...

you don't got 'shroomies in those Freedom 35 boxes?

[Ricky]

Why the f*ck would we have 'shrooms in the bottles?

Well...

I thought you was transporting them that way.

Which, when I heard, I thought it was f*cking brilliant, but now that I say it out loud, it is pretty f*cking stupid.

Ah, sh*t!

[Ricky]

I mean, it'd be easy to get them in, but how the f*ck'd you get them back out?

I didn't think that far ahead, all right?

[Dennis]

You could just break the bottles to get them out.

[Terry]

That would work.

Oh, yeah, that's a f*cking brilliant idea!

What'd you do about all the small, tiny little pieces of glass in the mushrooms?

Do you know what a f*cking nightmare that would be to deal with?

It wouldn't be all that bad, actually.

Is this conversation really f*cking happening right now?

We need to get to the f*cking Legion!

All right, Tommy, what the f*ck are we gonna do here?

Well, I don't know.

I f*cked up!

Look, man, we're going to drive away, all right?

But if I find out you have mushrooms, Ricky, I will come back and I'll f*cking k*ll you, man!

[Ricky]

f*ck off!

The f*cking door's locked.

-Christ.

-For f*ck's sakes!

That was f*cked.

Oh, boys!

It's all sh*t to sh*t, for f*ck's sakes!

Ricky, do you want to tell me what the f*ck just happened here?

No f*cking idea, man.

That was a f*cking weird one.

You have no idea why Tommy Bean and the flappy bird brothers just f*cking started blasting us, asking you about mushrooms?

Bubs, Bubs, listen.

Calm down, okay?

We'll deal with this later.

We can still make this delivery.

Let's go.

-Come on.

-Take your g*n back.

They must have thought we were someone else, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, thought you were someone else.

-No f*cking idea...

-Bubs, get in the truck!

How was that speed for you?

Was it okay?

-[door slamming]

-[Bubbles]

Yes.

-Just f*cking tow me!

-[Julian]

We're two men down.

This is bullshit!

Bubs, I know it's bullshit.

Just calm the f*ck down.

Hey, are you f*cking coming with me or wh...?

Get the f*ck in the car!

[Julian]

It's not that bad.

[Bubbles]

What are you talking about?

Julian, here, at least try to f*cking...

-Here he comes.

Hey, how's it going?

-Hey.

It may not look the best, but most of this is mint condition.

That's the brew master right there.

When you taste this beer, it's gonna feel like a diamond rainbow spraying right out of your ass.

Pickled Jesus in a long white robe!

What happened here?

I can't take this stuff all smashed up like that!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, listen...

It's Big Cock, right?

Big Cock?

No.

It's Big Hawk, with an H.

What, like the f*cking bird?

Sorry.

These f*cking guys said it was Big Cock.

Where the f*ck did you get a nickname like that?

I'd understand if it was Big Cock.

I assumed you were packing or whatever.

[chuckling]

I gave it to myself.

-You named yourself Big Hawk?

-Mm-hmm.

What, do you got a set of wings hiding there under your shirt?

[laughter]

No, no, I just wanted something tough, you know.

Not like the tiger or anything, but birds are kind of tough, and Blue Jay and The Eagle were already taken, so...

Big Hawk.

Right.

Well, that's pretty f*cked, but anyway...

The beer's here.

Like I said, most of it's mint condition.

A deal's a deal.

Come on, let's make this happen.

No, no, I can't do it.

I can't sell beer that's all smashed up.

It's not smashed up, it's sh*t up.

What?

Who in the name of Christ's kittens was sh**ting at you?

Probably one of the other three clients we had to turn down to make this deal happen.

I mean, someone's obviously pissed off you're getting the last of this sh*t.

But look, look, we'll clean this all up, okay?

We'll even stock your fridges for free.

Look, that's a...

that's a $200 value right there, for free.

Throw it in.

[Ricky]

Come on, Big Cock.

You can do this.

-We need it.

-You don't understand the bullshit we just went through to get this stuff here on time.

But I'm a man of my word.

I said it was gonna be here on time.

Here it is.

-Please.

-Just a few short.

-Come on, Big Hawk.

-All right, fellas.

You get it looking good and get it in the fridges, -and we'll call it a deal.

-Yes!

-Right on!

-[Ricky]

That's the sh*t right there.

[Hawk]

Now come on inside and we'll get you all squared up.

Yes!

Yes!

All right, let's load them in, boys.

-All right, come on.

-[glass shattering]

Holy f*ck, Bubs.

Listen, man, you got to get it together and stop f*cking up.

[shouting]

Me?

Bubs, just pick up the ones that aren't broken, I'll go deal with Big Hawk.

[Ricky]

We just lost a bunch of money there 'cause of you not being careful.

-[g*nf*re on video]

-Holy sh*t!

I think we have sufficient evidence to go to the cops.

-Wouldn't you say, Jim?

-Not yet.

Mr. Lahey, why are you talking about...

-Randy.

Randy...

-...going to the cops and evidence?

-Randy!

-I don't...

Let the man think, would you?

Listen, if the three sh*t-kateers are getting into gunfights with the likes of Tommy Bean, Dennis, and Terry, then there's a lot more here than meets the eye.

It's just the tip of the iceberg, Randy.

Tip of the shitberg.

[Randy sighing]

Yeah, jack it, Bubs!

Jack that crow.

-f*cking come on, you.

-I hope he doesn't blow all over you.

-[chuckling]

-Ricky...

[sighing]

Come on, Bubs, don't be pissed, man.

I'm sorry.

I'm not pissed, Ricky, but it's just, like...

what's the f*cking point?

Seriously?

What is the f*cking point?

Well, I guess the f*cking point is that I promised you I wasn't gonna break the law and I did, but I thought that because it was for f*cking groceries and sh*t, then that makes it not that illegal.

Imagine if this was six months ago.

I definitely would've been selling like f*cking crazy.

So this kind of means I'm getting a little better, doesn't it?

In a weird, illogical, f*cked-up kind of way, sort of, Ricky.

It's just like...

Ricky, we're so f*cking close.

Like, we're so f*cking close to being set up, I can f*cking taste it.

And then you'll never have to sell any amount of "grocery" mushrooms ever again.

But if you guys aren't there with me when all that good stuff happens, then it's not even worth it to me.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

And I wanna be right there with you, just don't give up on me.

Ricky, if I was gonna give up on you, I probably would've did it one of the other thousand times that you f*cked up.

-Thanks, buddy.

-[sighing]

Hey.

Get my belly, will you?

Come on, deedle it.

Ricky, belly-gettin's not something you ask for.

Belly-getting is something that you earn.

[Julian]

Hey, boys!

I just got off the phone with Big Cock.

He said he was really impressed with the customer service, and the beer's going great, man.

People are f*cking loving it!

-Yeah!

-And he wants more.

-f*cking awesome, boys.

-All right, boys, put it in.

Boys, can we just get this back on track, please?

f*ck, yeah, we can.

Let's definitely get things back on track.

-Okay...

-[car horn honking]

-Who the f*ck is that?

-[g*ns cocking]

-[Bubbles]

What?

-[clattering]

Ricky...

Julian!

Is this really f*cking happening right now?

It's...

it's just Candy.

[Ricky]

f*ck, I hope she's not here to tell him he's going back to f*cking jail.

Ricky, why would you say that?

Why are you gonna get me all worked up now?

Do you think that's what she's doing?

-[Julian]

It's a pellet g*n.

-[chuckling]

[Ricky]

Oh, kissy, kissy, kiss-kiss!

[Bubbles]

Oh-ho-ho!

[singsong]

Julian and Candy up a tree.

-B-A-N-G-I-N-G!

-[giggling]

That's f*cking funny, man.

I don't know what it means, but that is f*cking funny.

-[laughing]

-What?

You don't know what it means?

The B-I-N-I-G-N-E thing.

But it's in a tree!

Julian in a f*cking tree!

-[laughing]

-No, Ricky...

And he's probably f*cking naked too, isn't he?

-What?

-[laughing harder]

No, Ricky it was...

Like a f*cking bear!

[cackling]

[clattering]

Ricky!

Ricky, are you all right?

Here, who's got your belly?

Who's got your belly?

Oh, my f*ck, that's f*cking funny!

-Are you all right?

-[laughter]

Ricky, that wasn't even the funny part.

[theme music]

[seagulls squawking]

[fish]

f*ck!

f*ck!

f*ck off!

f*ck!...

f*ck off!

Jesus Christ!

[whispering]

f*ck.

-[light clicks off]

-f*ck off.