[Bubbles]
Well, my back's up against the wall, but...
I'm not giving up on my beer business.
No f*cking way.
I already proved that it can sell, and that people love it.
I've just gotta figure out a way to do it outside of the park.
I mean, I don't understand everything about...
zoning laws and all the legalities.
So I'm gonna go get some advice from somebody that knows what they're talking about, so I can do this properly.
I mean, this is about my future and I've gotta really start thinking about that now, especially with Ricky and Julian, where they're gonna be...
kept men.
[Bubbles softly]
Okay, Bubbles, time to pour on the charm, baby.
Hi there, pretty lady.
How are you doing?
-Good.
How are you?
-I'm fantastic.
How can I help you?
Uh, I was wondering if I could speak to somebody - I don't even know what their job title would be - but somebody that could explain to me about zoning laws related to making beer.
-Is there anybody...
-Are you looking to file a complaint...?
No, no.
I run a brewery myself down at the Sunnyvale Trailer Park with my two best friends.
We make a beer called Freedom 35.
It's un-f*cking-believable.
And we have this drunk trailer park supervisor, he called the f*cking city and shut me down, -'cause he's jealous, and he's a...
-Excuse me.
Did you just say Freedom 35?
-Uh, yeah, Freedom 35.
-So that's your beer?
Yeah, that's the beer I make, my recipe.
This is amazing.
I had one of my employees trying to track you down.
Track me down?
What do you mean track me down?
Look, do you have time for a quick meeting?
-Yeah...
-Kevin Watson.
I'm the President of Halifax Beer.
Hey, Kevin.
Bubbles, Freedom 35 beer.
Uh, I could probably take a meeting.
I've never been in a meeting before.
Please, step into my office.
All right, all right.
Wait, this isn't a trick where -I go in here and get m*rder*d, is it?
-[laughter]
Pretty lady, I got a meeting!
I'm in a meeting!
[Bubbles on speaker]
Ricky and Julian, holster your penises!
I repeat, Ricky and Julian, put your little birds away and get the f*ck to my shed!
We just won the f*cking lottery, baby!
[excited grunts, laughs]
[theme music]
[Julian]
Bubs, it's way too early for that f*cking loudspeaker, man.
[Bubbles grunting excitedly]
-Hook up for lunch?
-That'd be nice, baby.
She is f*cking k*lling me.
Ricky!
-Julian!
-[Julian]
Bubs, calm down.
I just met with the President of Halifax Beer!
-Oh, my f*ck!
-Take a deep breath, man.
-Get your f*cking self together!
-He made us an offer...
-Okay, hold up, calm down.
-[exhaling]
He made us an offer, boys.
The President of Halifax Beer...
[exhaling]
he wants to put Freedom 35 right across the f*cking country.
What the f*ck are you...
Why would he wanna do that?
-It sounds like a f*cking scam.
-No Ricky, it's not a scam.
It's the real deal.
He knows about the beer from his uncle that goes to the Legion and he thinks this could be huge 'cause we're on the TV.
It's real, Julian.
Check it.
Did you even read this f*cking thing?
-Yes.
-It's a 50/50 deal.
We gotta come up with 50 grand to make the first batch.
-Have fun with that one, man.
-No Julian, this is a good deal.
This is a good, fair f*cking deal.
Look, I don't believe in cosmic f*cking bullshit or fate or spirituality, Doug Henning-type stuff.
[panting]
But think about it.
We made a beer called Freedom 35 and now this is happening.
I think something's...
-something's at play here!
-Bubs...
-We did it.
-It's $50,000!
How...
How are we just gonna come up with $50,000, huh?
Well, that's really a technicality -at this point, isn't it?
-Ha.
Julian, if we work hard and use our brains, we can do this.
What if we put up one of those crowdfunding things you see on the internet?
People make money doing that, crowdfunding.
The f*ck you talking about?
Why would we fund a crowd?
That makes no sense.
No Ricky, I don't mean that.
Come on, Julian.
Come on, use your brains.
-We can do this.
-Listen to me and don't f*cking freak out.
What if I said there was a way to do this, very easily, probably today?
[sigh]
Is it illegal?
Very, bud.
Obviously, right?
Yeah, well, obviously I don't want any part of it.
Ricky, I'm not getting tangled up in that f*cking bullshit -and ruining our one chance at salvation.
-I hear you.
I got a perfect thing going with Candy.
I'm not ruining that for anything.
All right, f*cking relax!
It was just an idea.
Look boys, this might sound f*cked, a little bit f*cked, but maybe the three of us, we just go down to the bank and say, "Look, we need a loan." -[chuckling]
-They might give us a loan.
Bubs, Bubs...
We can't even get a f*cking debit card, man.
Jesus.
Well...
we're not just gonna give up, Julian!
This is your f*cking field!
You should be able to come up with this.
Come on, please!
[whimpering]
Okay, I got it.
I got it.
You can do it?
-I might be able to get us some money.
-Okay, but nothing illegal.
No.
Nothing illegal?
No.
[Ricky]
Good morning, guys.
Beautiful day out there.
Well, you could f*cking knock.
What a nice-looking breakfast you've got here.
-[clattering]
-Ricky!
-All right, Lahey!
-What?
I need some quick cash, you owe me a ton of it!
Hand over the f*cking papers to that car and this trailer.
I'm selling them!
Julian, I can't give you the f*cking papers!
Wrong answer!
-Julian!
-Hand over the papers!
Julian, I don't have any f*cking papers!
[overlapping yelling]
...hand over the f*cking papers!
Or else I'm gonna give him my blessing to come in here every g*dd*mn morning to ruin your life!
-Yeah!
-J-Julian...
-Julian, we've got no papers!
-Wrong f*cking answer!
We don't f*cking own the car or the f*cking trailer!
-Wrong answer!
-Ricky!
Ricky!
Ricky!
Hang on, hang on!
-What?
-What did you say?
Barb owns the car and the trailer and every f*cking thing that's in it!
-That sounds like another f*cking lie!
-Ricky!
Ricky!
That's enough!
That's eno...
That's enough!
Barb owns everything?
Yeah, that's what I was trying to tell you.
Oh my f*ck.
Right, how much money do you guys have on you?
I...
Nothing.
Well, I've got $18, -but that's for pizza night tonight.
-Not anymore.
-Ricky!
-Does Barb own this f*cking toaster oven?
[smashing, clattering]
That was my toaster oven!
-[Ricky]
f*ck...
-[clattering]
Oh my frig, Mr. Lahey!
Thanks for letting me do that with you, Julian.
Really means a lot to me.
You're a f*cking good friend.
This is so f*cked.
We've got this crazy deal on the table, one that could probably retire us, and no way of making it f*cking happen.
How big do you think it could be?
Could be huge, man.
Are you kidding me?
Right across the country?
Bubbles is on to something here, man.
Well, I told you.
There is a way to make this happen.
Okay, what is it, for f*ck's sakes?
[sigh]
-Just hear me out.
-All right.
It took a bit of f*cking around...
[engine ignition]
but I just got the Indiegogo campaign all live and launched, so now we just let the f*cking money start rolling in on that front.
-[keyboard clicking]
-[cats meowing]
In the meantime, I'm gonna f*cking go deal with some deadbeats who have been dodging me.
[on speaker]
Attention, residents of Sunnyvale, anyone with an outstanding beer tab, your f*cking luck just ran out.
Marguerite, come on down!
You're the first contestant on You Owe Me f*cking Money.
$118.
Cecil Cameron, $148.
[Donnie]
f*ck off with the f*cking announcements!
[Bubbles]
Oh Donnie, okay, I'm coming after you too, bud.
$267.
[Donnie]
I hope you're willing to suck it out of the eye of my cock, 'cause I don't f*cking have it!
[Bubbles]
Jesus Murphy, Donnie, the f*cking language!
[clattering]
Easy on the f*cking deck, man.
It just slipped right out of my f*cking hand.
How you making out, Bubs?
Hey, I'm making out great actually, Julian.
I've got $416 collected from customers.
I've got the internet campaign up and running.
-It's doing great.
-Right on.
How much you pulling in?
Well, I didn't pull in anything but I got 26 views, boys.
No offence, Bubs, but that's f*cking detarded.
Ricky, first of all, that word's never gonna catch on and second of all, it's not detarded.
I mean, once word of mouth starts flying, it can snowball.
People make a hundred grand a day sometimes on this.
Who?
Who the f*ck makes a hundred grand a day?
Well...
geniuses who invent things that are gonna change humanity, but still...
Well, we've got a better id...
Well...
-Talk to Julian about it.
-Ricky!
This thing we were thinking.
Look at me.
You guys are talking about doing illegal stuff.
Bubs, just hear us out, man.
No, I'm not f*cking hearing you out because I'm not interested.
-That's the thing.
-Bubs, look.
You said this is the big one, and I agree, okay?
We'll just do it one last time, okay?
Then we retire.
I feel it in my gut.
This plan's perfect, flawless.
How many times have I heard you say those exact f*cking words, Julian?
How many times?
Do you guys know what the definition of insanity is?
Do you know what it is?
It's doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
I know, but it's gonna be different this time.
-It could be anyway.
-This time, -we're gonna get results, man.
-That's right.
Listen to yourselves.
Lis...
Okay, how is it f*cking different this time?
Because we've never had the f*cking big guy on our side before.
The big g... ?
Ricky, tell me you're not talking about f*cking God right now.
I'm not talking about f*cking him or her.
Remember the cow sh*t I shoved under the trailers -to f*cking get rid of the rats?
-Yeah, I remember very vividly you filling my truck with sh*t and destroying it.
Well, guess what?
That wasn't normal cow sh*t.
That was f*cking angel sh*t sent down from Jesus God.
-Ugh...
-Angel...?
What in a flying fiddler's fuckstrap are you talking about?
Jesus God growed mushrooms under all the f*cking trailers in the park.
f*cking beautiful little perfect magic mushrooms, thousands of the f*cking things!
Thousands of the f*cking things...
So, you have a sh*t ton of mushrooms.
You said you had a f*cking few, Ricky!
You f*cking lied again!
Well, technically I didn't lie to you.
When I said a few, I may have forgot to add the word "garbage bags" to that.
And sometimes a few means four or five, right?
-I've used it to say four or five before.
-Oh, yeah...
Look, Bubs, Bubs.
Whyever it's f*cking happened, there's thousands of the f*cking things, enough to get this beer launched, man.
One-sh*t deal.
We do this, we retire, man.
Like...
no more breaking the f*cking law, no more bullshit.
We're retired.
For sure.
-A one-sh*t deal?
-A one-sh*t deal, man.
Ah, come on, buddy.
Just like the f*cking Blue Man brothers.
[whispering]
Oh, my God.
I'm insane!
I'm insane, everybody!
Oh, my f*ck!
Okay, listen, if I agree to this, just so we're clear, this has nothing to do with magic angel sh*t being sent down from God to send us on an everlasting quest for f*cking divine f*cking peace.
All right, so are we gonna do it?
God f*cking damn it!
Yes!
Yeah-h-h!
-Don't be jerking me off.
-Yes!
You won't regret this, buddy.
[meowing]
[Julian]
Boop!
[clicking, clattering]
[George]
Christ, were you two fighting?
What the hell happened in here?
[Lahey]
Hello, George.
Two of our best friends dropped over, Ricky and Julian.
They asked if they could have the papers for the f*cking trailer and for the car.
It seems that Julian is in f*cking need of some quick cash and, uh, he told me he's gonna send Ricky over every f*cking morning and destroy our f*cking place!
Those guys had better back the f*ck off.
You're not coming up with or giving them anything.
What?
We're supposed to just let them come in here -and smash our sh*t up every day?
-Jesus, you're stupid, Randy!
Why don't you f*ck off, go eat yourself to death?
Jim and I will handle this.
Go on!
-[Randy]
Frig's sakes...
-Listen, Jim.
If they're that desperate for money, they're either in a really bad situation or they're up to something really big.
We're gonna take 'em down, you and me.
[thud, clinking]
Ow!
For f*ck's sakes!
Piece of sh*t!
f*ck.
Jesus, Jim.
Oh, that carrot-eating slut-cumber!
Three bucks a f*cking gram?
Reggie, come on!
You can tell him to take his chocolate-covered ostrich balls and ram them right up a moose's f*cking ass!
There has to be another option here, Reg.
No, I'm not fronting the f*cking things!
f*ck that!
It's cash, up front.
Oh, for f*ck's sakes...
Yeah, I know it's a lot, but it's a serious f*cking opportunity for the right f*cking person here.
It's three bucks a gram, Reggie!
That is f*cked!
Jesus f*cking Christ, all right, set it up: 50 Gs.
But I'm going to need another couple of hours now at least.
f*ck!
[clattering]
[Bubbles]
Ricky, come on, for f*ck's sakes, would you?
Let's get this show on the road, I wanna get it over with.
-We got a serious f*cking problem.
-What?
-Oh, yeah...
-I can only get three bucks a gram now.
We're gonna need 37 pounds, gonna have to pick another garbage bag, -that's only 29 or 30 f*cking pounds.
-Here we f*cking go!
Here we go!
"Oh, this is gonna be easy," you guys said.
One f*cking sale!
Now we're right back into the f*cking bullshit -and we're gonna get f*cked!
-[car squeaking]
-Bubs, calm down.
Calm down!
-Don't f*ck my car.
Cory, Jacob, round up the Roc-Pile, see if they'll help us out.
Offer 'em a quarter pound of these f*cking things, okay?
-Okay.
-Okay.
Go!
It's all right.
A little bump here, boys.
We've got this though.
-I mashed my ball.
-Good.
No, like I mashed it good.
Pretty much picked all of 'em, we're gonna have to look for stragglers.
So spread out, boys.
I can't believe there were mushrooms under all these trailers and we didn't even know.
You one sly-ass m*therf*cker.
It wasn't me, it was f*cking Jesus God.
Yo, stop, everybody.
Yo, I got a hole in my bag.
You got a hole in your f*cking head.
See if you can figure it out.
Solve it, Cory.
[humming Final Jeopardy music]
-Jacob?
-Yo.
-Can I put my bag in your bag?
-Sure, man.
Yeah, man.
Double bag, double mushrooms.
Double f*cked!
[imitating expl*si*n]
[George]
They're going under the trailers and they have bags.
Those sneaky f*ckers.
They're growing weed under there, guaranteed.
[Lahey]
Move in a little closer, Georgio.
Yeah, that's what they're doing, growing weed under the trailers.
You moron!
Maybe they're not doing anything illegal.
I think we should do nothing, and just leave them alone.
-You paranoid, psychotic lunatic!
-That's enough!
[loud slap, Randy grunting]
Go make yourself useful!
Go make some popcorn!
They're all there.
There's Cory, there's Jacob.
[chuckle]
The Roc-Pile's there.
Look at this, Jim.
This is great.
[laughing]
All the boys.
Julian, Ricky, Bubbles.
We've got these bastards.
Ha!
Ha!
Hey, we found a whole batch over here, dude!
Yeah, there's a few under here, too, Cory.
Make sure you get those.
-Ricky, how are you doing?
-We must be getting close, boys.
Let's pick these and take 'em back and weigh them.
-[cell phone ringing]
-[Julian]
Hey, baby.
Yep.
No, I can't make it today.
-Yeah, beer meetings all afternoon.
-[high-pitched droning]
-I know.
I miss you, too.
-[Ricky]
What the f*ck is that thing?
Ah, decent!
It's a drone!
Who the f*ck's flying it?
Is there somebody inside that thing?
No, Ricky.
Somebody around here...
Oh, just wait!
Just wait!
Oh my f*ck!
That could be a police drone.
-There's a camera on that thing, Ricky.
-What are you talking about?
-Okay, just act natural, everybody.
-[g*n clicking]
-f*ck you!
-[g*nshots]
-[Bubbles]
Jesus Murphy!
-...Ricky lighting off fireworks.
You sure no one's in there, Bubs, like Gazoo or something?
Ricky!
-f*ck you, Gazoo!
-[g*nshots]
[Bubbles]
Ricky, Gazoo was a fictional character on The Flintstones.
-Holy f*ck, boys.
-[Ricky]
That sh*t was real.
Put that f*cking g*n away!
You use your head.
Put it away!
-What if that was a police drone?
-Well, it's f*cking dead now, isn't it?
-Oh, for f*ck's sakes!
-[Bubbles]
f*ck!
Holy f*ck!
-That son of a f*cking bitch!
-Holy Jesus, Randy!
Now he's done it.
-Ricky sh*t the drone down!
-I'll get the bastards charged with destruction of property, if nothing else.
Let's go, Jim.
Let's take them down.
[Randy]
Don't go down there, Mr. Lahey.
George is crazy.
Please don't go down that path.
You shut your f*cking mouth.
You're nothing here but a waste of food.
You wanna get slapped across the face again, you grease-covered minion?
Huh?
Do you?
Keep talking!
Mr. Lahey, you've got to choose right now between George or me.
Oh, go cry in the f*cking bedroom, Randy, -you fat f*cking cow!
-Ooh!
Come on, Jim.
Let's go show them who's boss.
-George.
-What?
You're fired.
f*ck...
-Un-f*cking-believable!
-You heard me, George.
You're f*cking fired!
Unbelievable, you f*cking pussies!
We were that close to winning this whole thing.
You really want to think this through, Jim.
You can't fire me.
You need me!
I'm your muscle!
-Is that right, George?
-Yes!
Well, guess what?
I'm the f*cking supervisor and you are the f*cking fired.
Now, get the f*ck out of here.
Now!
-Okay, fine.
-Yeah.
I'll send them to jail myself.
Have a nice life, fuckheads!
-Yeah.
-[Randy]
Frig off, George!
[chuckling]
-Never cry sh*t wolf, George!
-Good one, Mr. Lahey.
Thanks, Randy.
I love you, bud.
I'm sorry I didn't s...
stick up for you a little bit sooner.
Well, you did, Mr. Lahey, and that's what matters.
-I love you too, buddy.
-Thanks.
Let's make Sunnyvale great again, Randy.
-Okay, Mr. Lahey.
-All right.
It's so cool these things came out of cows.
[Cory]
And they look like skinny dudes with big hats on 'em.
Cory, can I get your f*cking brain analyzed by a profession...
Boys...
Ricky, George Green's right behind us!
-Hide the mushrooms.
-f*ck's sakes, meet back at the shed, I'll deal with this.
Get those f*cking things weighed.
All right, let's go.
Can I f*cking help you?
-Hope so.
-Oh, yeah?
-Question for you, just curious.
-Yeah?
What exactly are you doing under all the trailers?
None of your f*cking business.
I've got a contract with Barb.
I'm allowed to be under any one of these f*cking trailers.
-I know what you're doing.
-Yeah?
It took me about 10 seconds.
Growing weed.
[laughing]
Guess you should've thought of it a little longer than 10 seconds, George.
How the f*ck would you grow weed under trailers?
It's dark and they're not high enough.
That is hands down the dumbest thing I have ever been accused of!
-Then you don't mind if I take a look.
-Knock yourself out.
I'm dealing with the f*cking cow sh*t to get rid of the rodents, dummy!
Go ahead, get right under there, take a good f*cking look, George.
Back off, Rick!
You're being detained anyway for destruction of property.
That drone you sh*t down, that was worth over $5,000.
No idea what you're talking about.
I fired one sh*t at this weird-looking birdy thing, I don't think I hit it.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Better get the police down here to get this sorted out.
What do you think?
-[phone ringing]
-Or we could do this.
-[glass shattering]
-[Donnie]
Jesus Christ!
I just replaced that f*cking thing!
You can't smash every phone in this park, Rick.
-Is that right?
-Don't stray too far.
Lick my tan balls, how about that, George?
How we making out, boys?
[Bubbles]
Just getting the last ones on here.
-Nice.
-Holy f*ck, -there's more than I thought though.
-Right on.
I think we should be all right.
-Okay, just wait.
-What's it saying?
It's looking like...
uh, 96, but...
Cory, stop leaning on the f*cking thing!
Okay boys, with these, the grand total with the other ones, 37.5 pounds.
-Yes!
-Yes!
Make it an even 37, I'm not giving that piss goblet any extra, not for that f*cking price.
Gotta move it out.
Cops are on the way.
f*cking George Green.
"Ooh, I sh*t down...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa...
-f*cking assh*le!
I can't go if there's cops involved.
What are you talking about?
It was f*cking dumb sh**ting that goddamned thing down.
No way I'm putting my relationship on the line -over your f*cking stupidity.
-Just wait now.
If you're not going, -I'm not f*cking going.
-I'm not going, man.
I wasn't even supposed to be involved.
Okay, boys.
What the f*ck is happening here?
'Cause I'm not doing this by myself.
f*ck that!
So are we doing this, or am I flushing these down the f*cking toilet?
Ah, for f*ck's sakes.
As soon as we do this f*cking deal, boys, we need to get some f*cking food.
I'm dying here.
[Bubbles]
How about we just stay focused on the f*cking job and worry about food later?
I'd like a big hot dog, a jumbo dog or something maybe.
-[police siren wailing]
-Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Okay, boys, boys, boys...
[Bubbles]
Oh, for f*ck's sakes!
Are you kidding me?
It's okay.
The f*ck is he doing putting his lights on?
-I'm not even speeding.
-[Julian]
You kidding me?
What is he-- Oh, my f*ck, he's wheeling around.
You know what?
It must have been f*cking George.
What an idiot!
He probably called the f*cking cops.
-But it's all right.
-[Bubbles]
What are we gonna do?
Boys, everybody calm the f*ck down.
We're good here, all right?
George didn't know about the mushrooms.
Just let Ricky do what Ricky does best.
-[siren approaching]
-[engine shutting off]
-We're fine.
-[whispering]
Boys, I'm freaking out!
I'm freaking out!
[Ricky]
Stay calm.
We're good.
We're okay here.
I wish I was f*cking high, though, I know that.
-Ricky, be quiet, be quiet.
-[Ricky]
...f*cking idiot.
-How are you doing today, sir?
-I am doing f*cking awesome.
How you doing?
J.P Cormier, just coming from the studio.
-What...
the singer?
-Yeah.
Oh, I got all your albums.
I love your music.
Oh, right on.
That's great.
Mr. Cormier, can you tell me why you don't have a licence plate on your vehicle?
Yes, I can.
Good reason for that actually.
I just bought the car to put in a music video.
That's why it's missing the door and, uh, we're gonna register it right now.
-Oh, I see.
-Yeah.
Hey, can you tell me which one of these two is Ricky?
We just dropped Ricky down at the mall.
He said he needed to buy some underpants or something -and was gonna get a hold of us later.
-Ah, sh*t, that's too bad.
I pulled you guys over because of the incident at Sunnyvale Trailer Park.
Okay.
What incident was that?
I wanted to shake Ricky's hand.
I heard what he did to our ex-Chief of Police.
[chuckling]
sh*t down his drone!
-f*cking hilarious.
-I was there for that.
That was f*cking funny.
He f*cked him over good.
f*cking George.
George is so f*cked!
Anyhow, George called it in, so we have to talk to Ricky.
-Just doing our job.
-Yeah, yeah...
Can you do me a favour?
Can you tell Ricky to just chill out for a bit, so we don't have to drain any more of the Department's time and resources?
-Yes.
-We can do that.
Don't know him that well, I got his number.
I'll give him a call and say, "Bud, f*cking chill out.
You're wasting police money here.
It's not a cool thing, right?" Great, thanks.
Well, listen, enjoy the rest of your day, guys.
-Have a good one.
-You, too, sir, thank you very much!
-Oh, my f*ck.
-[Ricky]
See, we're good.
-Oh, oh!
Uh, I almost forgot.
-Yeah?
-Your brake light's flickering.
-Okay, thank you.
Probably a loose bulb.
Why don't you pop the trunk?
I'll take a look for you.
Ah, you know what?
I really appreciate that but we're kind of in a rush, and I couldn't anyway.
The guy that f*cking owned the car before me welded the f*cking trunk shut.
It doesn't open.
Are you sure?
I don't see any of the...
any welds on the seams.
Well, he...
he said he went in through the back seat.
Something about it made the weld stronger...
-He did.
-...from underneath...
[laughing]
Hand me the keys.
I think he was just f*cking with you.
-I'll pop it open for you.
-Know what?
That'd be great.
Anything you can do to help out, officer, I would really appreciate it.
-Thank you.
-Sir, is there another reason why you don't want me to see inside your trunk?
God, no.
You can go in the trunk.
Have a little nap there if you want.
My trunk is fair game to everybody.
-[whimpering]
-Mr. Cormier, can you step out of the vehicle for me?
Sure, yeah.
I can do that.
Just...
right in this area here or...
-[engine revving]
-Okay, everybody out of the vehicle now!
-Jesus, Ricky!
What are you doing?
-[Ricky]
We got no f*cking choice!
There's four bags of f*cking mushrooms in the trunk!
[Bubbles]
Oh, my f*ck!
-[Julian]
Go!
Go!
Go!
Go!
-[Bubbles]
He's coming, boys!
He's coming after us, and he's coming hot!
[Ricky]
We're okay, Bubs.
Look at the f*cking lead I'm opening.
-We're losing him!
-[Julian]
Right turn here!
Right turn!
[Bubbles]
Oh!
Ricky!
Oh, my Jesus Christ!
[Julian]
You're doing good, man!
You're doing good!
-[Bubbles whimpering]
-[Julian]
Right turn into the junkyard.
-[loud pop]
-[Ricky]
My God!
What the f*ck?
-Oh my f*ck...
-Take a right.
-[Ricky]
...we just blew the radiator.
-[Bubbles]
What?!
Why are we turning into a f*cking junkyard?
We're gonna have to bail!
We're gonna blow the f*cking engine!
[Julian]
Stay to the right!
Oh, yeah, let's go into a junkyard, Julian, where we have no f*cking escape route!
Just shut the f*ck up!
We're gonna bail!
The temperature's going right up here, okay?
We're gonna have to f*cking go into the woods...
[Bubbles]
Oh, yeah, let's have a f*cking foot pursuit!
That's even better!
When I stop, grab a bag of mushrooms, get the f*ck into the woods, Bubs!
We're fine here!
We're okay.
Let's go!
Everybody out!
[Bubbles]
"Yeah, this will be easy," you said.
Now we're in a f*cking foot pursuit!
Grab a f*cking bag of mushrooms!
Go!
Go!
Go!
[Bubbles whimpering]
[Bubbles]
f*ck, I think we lost them, boys.
f*cking sucks about my car but I guess I'll get another one.
How the f*ck do you expect they're not gonna just trace that one back to us anyway?
Because when I bought it, I signed Randy Lahey.
-[chuckle]
-Nice.
I think we did it, boys.
We're in the f*cking clear.
I f*cking hope so...
-Just wait!
Listen!
-[dog barking]
Oh, the f*cking K9 unit!
-All right, let's run!
-K9 unit!
God damn it!
[Bubbles whimpering]
[Ricky]
I forgot how fun it is running from the cops!
[Bubbles]
Oh yeah, this is a f*cking treat, Ricky!
Just a f*cking treat!
I f*cking love you guys.
Get the f*ck in the truck!
-Thank God for country people...
-[Julian]
Get in!
...leaving their f*cking keys in their vehicles.
[Bubbles]
Are we just taking a truck?
-[Ricky]
We're just f*cking taking it.
-[dogs barking]
-[engine ignition]
-[Bubbles]
Let's just go, Ricky.
-Hey, f*ckers!
-[overlapping yelling, g*nsh*t]
[Bubbles]
Jesus Christ, f*ck!
[Julian]
Everybody okay?
I hope to f*ck they're still here.
There he is.
f*ck.
[Bubbles]
Let's just get this f*cking over with, boys.
Oh, my God.
[Ricky]
It's almost done, Bubs.
[Tommy]
Oh, look who decides to show up.
Who the f*ck do you guys think you are, making us wait out here for over a g*dd*mn hour?
f*ck you, f*ck you and f*ck you!
-That's it, the deal is off!
-[mixed yelling, g*ns clicking]
You can't even imagine what the f*ck we just went through to get here!
We've got the 'shrooms.
Give us our f*cking cash!
Guys, guys...
relax.
-I'm just f*cking around with you.
-[Bubbles]
Jesus Christ, cold play!
-Yeah, you almost got f*cking sh*t.
-All right, come on, guys.
Let's do this m*therf*cking deal, huh?
I'm gonna need you to shut that f*cking sh*t down right the f*ck now.
You heard him, snail muff.
Shut the f*cking cameras down!
[meowing]
[Ricky]
Holy f*ck I was hungry.
Here, boys.
These are as cold as a whore's heart.
-Yeah!
-Thanks, buddy.
This had to be the most f*cked up, scariest day of my life.
I hear you.
But was it f*cking worth it, though?
-Yes.
-[laughter]
-There you go!
-Boys, you realize this is the first time in history that we've pulled off a job this successfully?
-No, it's not.
-Ever.
It is, Ricky.
Now, knock on wood, everybody.
[Julian]
Finally.
I mean, it was a bit risky.
It was pretty dumb but, boys, our future's looking pretty f*cking bright right now.
Really f*cking bright.
Corey Hart couldn't look at our future, baby.
Here we f*cking go!
I don't think so!
What do you want?
Get the f*ck out of here!
Tell that d*ck-twisted George Green to leave me the f*ck alone.
He called the cops on me for nothing!
-Calm the frig down, Ricky.
-No!
I'm not calming the frig down.
-f*ck you!
-Mr.
Lahey fired George.
-What?
-We come in peace.
Julian...
I'd like to take this opportunity to wipe the slate clean, Julian.
Oh, yeah?
How you gonna do that now?
Julian, I'm gonna tell you something.
And after I finish telling you, you're probably gonna wanna b*at the sh*t out of me.
But it's a sh*t weight I need to have lifted off my shoulders.
-Mr. Lahey, are you sure...
-Randy.
Randy...
Randy and I... we had $25,000 we were gonna give to you, Julian, and honest...
But I lost it at the racetrack.
You lost 25 grand at the f*cking racetrack?
-Are you f*cking kidding me?
-[overlapping conversation]
-I was drunk, Julian.
I was drunk!
-Julian, just...
-take a deep breath.
-Now we have nothing, Julian.
[slurring]
We're totally broke.
If I ever...
money, I would give it to you.
All of you, Julian.
I'm sorry, so...
You can...
pound the sh*t out of me if you want to, but please don't f*cking let Ricky come every f*cking day for the rest of our lives and wreck our f*cking trailer!
-Okay, Julian...
-We'll f*cking see, won't we?
Take a deep breath, Julian.
Think hard about this.
You think about the future that we were just talking about.
And if you hold him down and pound on him, what's that going to accomplish?
Nothing.
Think.
Use your brains.
What are you talking about, pounding?
It took a lot of balls to tell me the truth.
-Thank you, I appreciate it.
-There you go.
-Let it out.
-You know what?
We're all getting too old for this bullshit, -okay?
-Yeah.
And our lives are finally coming together, and I'm getting married for f*ck's sakes.
-There we go.
-Congratulations, Julian.
-So, it's like...
-Look, just...
Julian...
I think what he's trying to say...
and I speak for all three of us.
Boys...
I do.
We are willing to let the past be the past.
-Yeah?
-Right?
That's great.
-Right.
-Yeah, okay.
For the future.
-That's very gracious of you, guys.
-[clinking]
-And, uh, I think I can speak for the...
-Ran...
-Ran.
-Thanks, Mr. Lahey.
As I was saying, I think I can speak for the two of us too, and we agree, the past is the past.
Yeah, that's what I just said, Randy, but good try, bud.
-This is very exciting!
-Yeah!
-A new era.
-[chuckling]
Okay.
[sobbing]
-All right, you're sweaty, you smell.
-Might be too early for that type...
-That's it, Randy!
-Okay, that's enough.
Might be too early for that.
I love you, Randy.
All right.
-Thanks, Julian.
-Thanks, Julian.
-Have a good night, fel...
-Whew.
Ricky, Rick!
[whispering]
He sh*t himself.
He sh*t himself.
So does that cancel everything we just talked about?
-No.
-[sighing]
[theme music]
[seagulls squawking]
[fish]
f*ck!
f*ck!
f*ck off!
f*ck!...
f*ck off!
Jesus Christ!
[whisper]
f*ck.
-[light clicks off]
-f*ck off.
12x09 - Angel sh*t Sent Down From Jesus God
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Ricky and Julian are two guys whose lives were shaped by their experiences growing up in the Trailer Park. Their childhood was typical of most trailer park kids: stealing, fighting, smoking, drinking, scamming and listening to Van Halen.
Ricky and Julian are two guys whose lives were shaped by their experiences growing up in the Trailer Park. Their childhood was typical of most trailer park kids: stealing, fighting, smoking, drinking, scamming and listening to Van Halen.