01x07 - Hi Bob

[bunniefuu]

[Margo] The defective LH2 valve which caused the Apollo 23 expl*si*n has been remanufactured by a new contractor and has passed all qual and acceptance tests.

We're ready to install it in the second stage of Apollo 24.

But in the process of de-stacking the rocket, there was a mishap in the Vertical Assembly Building and some damage was done to the LOX vent lines and the liquid hydrogen fuel t*nk.

That stage will have to be completely rebuilt before it can fly.

So we're replacing it with the second stage originally targeted for Apollo 26.

But that will take time.

So I'm afraid that the launch of Apollo 24 will need to be delayed--

-Another two weeks. -[Buzz] Another two weeks.

BOHICA.

[Weisner] I'm sorry. We didn't get that last.

I did. Just more navy squid gibberish, sir.

-Don't pay it any attention. -Says the air force puke.

How is the new job, Buzz?

You enjoying flying a desk around the astronaut office?

Just keeping it warm until Deke gets back.

It's not the best job in the world, but I do have a really good parking spot.

President Kennedy would like to extend his personal apologies and to assure you that the administration is doing everything we can to get you home just as soon as possible.

Well, please tell the president that we appreciate the sentiment, but we're doing just fine.

Jamestown Base is operational and will remain so until we're properly relieved.

We got plenty of work to keep us busy.

Mmm. In fact, we're coming up on a scheduled evolution right now.

[Weisner] Ah. Understood. Houston out.

Jamestown out.

[tone]

[sighs]

True American heroes doing God's work.

I can only imagine what it's like up there for them.

["The Bob Newhart Show Theme" playing]

[TV audience laughing]

That's a really nice piece of equipment, Dr. Hartley.

Yeah, I have to get it hooked up.

Why don't you let me do it for you? I was a demolitions expert in the marines.

[TV audience laughing]

Guy is really familiar.

Maybe 'cause we've probably seen this one about 500 times.

No, it's not that. He's been on another TV show.

John Fiedler. Character actor.

Does a lot of TV.

Get Smart, Courtship of Eddie's Father, Bewitched.

Anything about TV you don't know?

No, there is not.

Watched a lot of TV while my mama cleaned white ladies' houses in Memphis.

Hey, Dani, can you hand me that toolbox?

Yeah.

[man on TV] I don't know if it'll stretch that far. It comes in a little egg.

[TV audience laughing]

[sighs] The ants are building their same tunnels.

Same as they were yesterday and the day before that.

-Yeah. -And the day before that...

I was afraid of my wife, I was afraid of growing old.

-"I was afraid of geese." -"I was afraid of geese."

[TV audience laughing]

[Dr. Bob Hartley] If I remember correctly, you were afraid to get in your car.

[all] "Well, that was during the period when I was afraid of upholstery."

[TV audience laughing]

Was he ever on Lost in Space?

Star Trek.

Now you're just showing off.

Showing off would be telling you that he played Mr. Hengist.

[Baldwin] Still no signal.

Dani, you sure you had a good connection on the S-band leads

-when you hooked up the line? -Yep.

Two green lights. Solid connection.

My gift is you don't have to come here anymore.

You're free to go out and face your own problems without me.

No way that would ever happen.

Once a shrink gets you in their clutches, that's it. You never get better.

Did they ever make y'all see a shrink when you were testing for the program?

Not "a" shrink. We saw about five in those days.

You ladies got off easy.

Our shrink asked me if I ever dreamt of having sex with my father.

Oh, yeah.

-They ask you that too? -Sure.

-Yeah. -Except it was, "Have you ever dreamt of having sex with your mother?"

Yeah, the docs love asking the "Have you had sex with a parent dream" question.

They're just hoping someone's gonna say yes one day.

-Yeah. What would that tell them? -Means you're gay.

-Really? -To shrinks, everything means you're gay.

That's why you don't go voluntarily.

Right, but--

sh*t! sh*t.

Don't mess up my deck.

Don't k*ll any ants.

[scoffs] Thanks for your help, guys. Really. Appreciate it.

...sort of 2,000-mile checkup.

-Hi, Bob. -"Hi, Bob."

-"Hi, Bob." -"Hi, Bob."

[TV audience laughing]

How'd your interview go with Levi Strauss?

I didn't get it.

Had a bad day.

Hand kept shaking.

Probably thought I was a drug addict or something.

What did Dr. Corey say?

Canceled that.

I don't need someone digging around in my head, tryin' to make it seem like I'm crazy.

That's not what it's about, honey. He's just trying to help.

I don't need help.

I need something besides bagging groceries to make a living.

We're doing fine on my salary, Clay.

A man's not supposed to live off his wife.

-Okay? It ain't right. -Times change, baby.

All right, I can do more than bag groceries.

Of course you can.

Look, I--

I got a college degree.

[sighs]

I led a platoon in Vietnam.

You know, that man in that interview, he...

[chuckles]

He didn't even see me. He was just looking at me sitting there, hand shaking.

You'll get the next one, Clay.

I know you will.

Couldn't even answer the questions.

I kept getting confused.

It was like my mind was slipping into this hole, you know?

It was this dark hole that I could feel pulling me in.

Clayton?

Pulling me down, you know, I could feel it pulling me down.

And I wanted to go.

Like I was hoping to get deep down in the dark.

And at the same time, I'm like, "sh*t," you know? [chuckles]

'Cause I know... I know something is waiting down there for me.

-Clayton? -It's gonna get me the second I look away.

It's okay, honey.

It is okay.

There is no hole.

There is nothing down there waiting to get you.

[sighs]

-You have to believe me. -Hey, look, baby.

I gotta go, baby. Okay? Look, I'm out of cigarettes.

-We still have more time. -I'll talk to you next week.

-Okay, I love you. -Sit down, Clay. We--

[door closes]

Your psych profile indicates a predisposition toward claustrophobia.

Odd thing to see in an astronaut.

It was a childhood fear.

-I got over it. -Hmm.

They told me my answers were confidential.

In fact, they said my entire medical file was highly confidential and not to worry about anyone just flipping through it.

Does this worry you?

No, it annoys me.

Well, the FBI certainly doesn't want to annoy you, Miss Waverly.

Too late.

You're aware that I have the power to yank your security clearance and bounce you out of the program.

I'm aware that the only reason I'm here is because you think my boyfriend is gay.

Which I find both outrageous and offensive.

Larry is a red-blooded American man with completely normal desires, and I won't sit here while you cast aspersions on his character.

We're not actually here to talk about your boyfriend, Miss Waverly.

We're here to talk about you.

Me?

I can't figure out your story.

It's not that complicated.

Your mother's New York old money.

Your father becomes a pilot in the '20s.

He knew Amelia Earhart, is that true?

And Charles Lindbergh.

He starts his own air freight company in the '30s.

After the w*r, he's a self-made millionaire.

Starts Cavalier Airlines in '48.

He gives you the flying bug.

You get a pilot license as a teenager.

MIT, aeronautical engineering.

Dad hires you at Cavalier, and you work there until NASA starts looking for female astronauts.

Doesn't make an ounce of sense.

You can't understand why a woman wants to be an astronaut?

I can't understand why Ellen Waverly, heiress, aeronautical engineer, pilot and now astronaut, is with Larry Wilson.

He's a good man.

He's a h*m*.

-You're wrong. -I doubt it.

Why? Have you slept with him?

No, have you?

I don't think that is any of your business.

Tell me about your first kiss.

-It was at the movies. -What movie?

-Ryan's Daughter. -What part?

When Rosy and Major Doryan make love in the meadow.

Odd time to take your eyes off the screen.

We were caught up in the moment.

I just don't know why you're doing this.

I'm not doing anything.

Except trying to keep you from smearing the name of a perfectly good man.

You're helping him hide a secret at great personal risk to yourself, your reputation and your career.

Why?

I can't figure it.

But I will.

["Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" playing]

[chattering]

He didn't buy it.

It was worth a sh*t.

Sometimes the aggressive tack throws 'em off.

How much longer is this crap gonna go on?

No way to know yet. But we shouldn't trust the phone.

Don't they need a warrant to tap our phones?

J. Edgar Hoover may be dead, but the feds are still lawless pricks when it comes to protecting Americans against sexual perverts, so don't trust the phones.

Jesus.

[Walters] And back in Washington, accusations of an extramarital affair between President Ted Kennedy and a White House staffer named Mary Jo Kopechne continue to roil the White House today.

This follows last week's publication of photographs which appear to show the president and Miss Kopechne in Palm Beach, Florida, last winter...

Maybe the FBI should be looking into his sex life.

[static]

Is that the Russian carrier wave?

It's not ours, so it's gotta be theirs.

Could be Gordo's red blinky people.

I never said they were blinky people.

Just red lights.

You also said you ain't been nipping at that last bottle of Chivas, either.

That bottle's been in my protection, and it has not been touched by man or beast in weeks.

It's transmitting again.

What is that? Is that telemetry?

No, it's a short-range VHF transmitter.

The Russian telemetry is on a different frequency.

But it has to be voice, and it's encrypted.

Well, they're obviously doing something they don't want us to know about.

Like what?

Installing surveillance materials.

-Maybe weapons. -Do you really believe that?

Why would you want weapons on the moon? Who you gonna be sh**ting at?

You, me, Gordo.

[sighs] Well, everybody wants to sh**t at Gordo.

I heard that.

-Holy sh*t! -sh*t.

-g*dd*mn it. -There's another one.

-You okay? -I saw at least two back behind the rack.

-You talking about the ants? -Yeah, I'm talking about the ants.

We need eyes on that base.

You wanna start spying on the Soviets?

They're spying on us. I guarantee it.

Pick up your feet. Pick up your feet.

Pick 'em up.

sh*t.

Tomorrow I want to take the rover and head along Broadway.

Swing around Mayberry and then up the western slope of Mount Pilot.

See if there's any sign the Russians have been on our side of the crater.

We're supposed to be gathering ore samples tomorrow.

Yeah, we're gonna take a little detour.

You gonna tell Houston?

We don't encrypt our communications, so we gotta assume the Russians are listening to everything we say.

Are you sure you wanna do this?

Prep the rover for an extended run.

Gordo, let it go, man.

Can't just let 'em run around in here.

What if they get in the circuitry and short something out?

What if they get in the food?

Well, I could use a little something crunchy in my oatmeal.

This isn't funny.

Those ants are NASA property, and we're responsible for 'em.

Easy there, sailor. No one's making fun of your ants, okay?

Fine. Let 'em run all over the place. I don't give a sh*t.

[music playing]

The damage estimate is $150 to remove the offending words and repaint the lockers.

That's a bit much for a bucket of paint and a brush, don't you think?

Well, the cost is not really the issue, Mrs. Stevens.

I'd like to talk about the relationship between the boys.

My concern is that it's becoming unhealthy and damaging--

-They're friends. -Best friends.

Practically grew up together.

And that's not us defending them.

What they did is inappropriate and wrong, and they'll be punished for it.

Absolutely, but speaking of which, maybe that's part of the problem, is a lack of discipline in this school.

Is it true you've stopped paddling students?

Corporal punishment in schools is becoming frowned on in modern educational circles.

Well, spanking was not frowned upon in my home, and now I'm an astronaut.

So what does that tell you?

I think we're getting a little off-topic here.

I think that the relationship, the friendship, between Danny and Shane, while genuine and heartfelt... is becoming unhealthy, particularly for Danny.

-What? -For Danny?

Yes, Mrs. Stevens.

The teachers all agree that your son is the follower in this situation, and that if it were not for the influence of Shane, he would probably not be participating in activities like--

-My son is a follower? -No.

-He's weak and he sucks up to his friends? -Shane is the problem here? Huh? Yeah?

-Is that what you're saying? -Is that what you're saying?

I'm saying there's a dynamic at play here.

Shane is a natural leader, Danny wants to please him, and the results are toxic, antisocial behavior.

I'm not listening to any more of this. Let's go.

This is outrageous. I will be contacting Superintendent Jones about this.

[chattering]

-What a jackass. -Oh, he's...

Ugh!

-I don't believe him. -'Course not.

[Baldwin] Houston, we're back at the ranch now, so we'll be going off VOX, and we'll talk to you after dinner.

[CAPCOM] Roger that. What's for dinner tonight?

[Dani] I think Gordo's making beef stroganoff.

[Baldwin] Someone should tell the mess steward serving Russian food on an American base isn't exactly kosher.

[CAPCOM] I'll send your note to the kitchen, Ed. Houston out.

So you satisfied?

We ran off 30 kilometers on the rover and didn't see a single sign of the Russians.

I'm satisfied in terms of what we saw, but the Soviets are crafty.

I know. I fought these guys and their stooges in Korea.

They're always trying to gain an advantage in any kind of situation.

We didn't even come close to covering our part of the crater today.

So tomorrow, we'll have to recon another sector.

"Our part."

I love that it's our part now, like somehow we own it.

Kind of it how it works, you know?

Whoever plants the flag first, owns it.

Ask the Pilgrims.

And what if I ask the Indians?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Mm-hmm.

Uh-oh.

sh*t.

["A Horse with No Name" playing]

[grunting, panting]

[grunting, panting continue]

No one's been here before.

No one's seen this before.

Now I have.

[grunting, panting]

Hi, Bob.

Don't f*cking "Hi, Bob" me.

What are you doing?

Just a little apartment hunting.

No one got hurt.

[Baldwin] We're out on the rover, and you go AWOL?

We talked about this last time.

You don't leave the base without authorization, ever.

[sighs]

Houston finds out about this, they'll ground you the rest of your natural life.

Well, first they gotta get me off this rock, and they ain't doing such a good job of that.

What if you'd gotten into trouble, and none of us knew where you were?

I'm sorry, Mommy. Next time I'll leave a note on the refrigerator.

[Baldwin] You think this is funny?

I think this is about 15 pounds of bullshit.

You and Dani are cruising around looking for commie spies that don't exist, and I'm pretty sure you didn't say squat about that to Houston.

No, 'cause we were maintaining radio security while on a mission to protect this base.

Protect this base? Protect what?

This hunk of junk?

I mean, the shower only works half the time. The food is lousy.

The toilet's backed up so much you barely even notice the smell anymore.

-The Soviets are out there. -The Soviets.

And they're a thr*at to this base. You saw them yourself!

I never said they were Soviets. Just things.

You said you saw red blinking lights.

There's no other rational explanation for that than the Soviets.

Unless there wasn't anything out there at all.

-Dani. No. -What are you trying to say, Dani? Huh?

-What are you saying? -Don't go yelling at me.

-What are you trying to say? -Gordo.

You think I'm making this up? See? That's what you do.

You cut me down to make me look like I don't belong.

You're trying to make me look like a fool!

I said stand down!

You're on her side now? You're both against me.

-I said stand down. -What do you wanna do? You wanna hit me?

Give it your best sh*t. You think you're man enough?

Step back! Step back!

Everybody, just calm down and step back!

[sighs]

[exhales]

You're confined to this base until further notice.

Confined to the base?

Confined?

[laughs]

Oh, me, oh, my. What am I gonna do?

Heavens to Betsy.

I'm confined to the base.

Jesus Christ. I don't need this bullshit.

[Gordo laughing]

[laughing] I'm confined.

I'm telling you, Ed. This is starting to get out of hand.

Enough, Danielle.

Yes, sir.

I will just shut my mouth like a good little girl and let you handle all of this.

Thank you.

[sighs]

How to put this? Uh...

[chuckles]

Well, Agent Donahue is of the opinion that Larry Wilson may have certain tendencies which could pose a security risk to the program.

He thinks Larry's gay.

Yes.

And now he has voiced a theory that perhaps you may have certain tendencies as well.

That's absurd.

This is not a good time for the administration to be forced to deal with another scandal.

Another sex scanda--

Yeah, I understand that Teddy's been a very bad boy.

It's not funny.

The att*ck on the president is a debasement of the culture and nation.

All the more reason why a NASA astronaut's private what-have-yous should not be made public at this time.

I'm not gay.

But I can't control Gavin Donahue or the Justice Department.

No.

But you could... you and Larry both could take a step.

A step which would make these accusations against the both of you seem ridiculous.

[Buzz] I can assure you we're doing all we can to get the relief crew up there.

-I'm sure you are, Buzz. -[Gordo] What's he saying?

-You gotta watch the gears. -Don't tell me what to do. I see it.

Flashlight.

[Buzz] Our new estimate for the launch of Apollo 24 is December 9.

-It's the damn ants, isn't it? -It wasn't the ants. It's the tape.

Two more weeks.

Got it.

BOHICA.

[Buzz] But the good news is the unmanned Titan launched perfectly this morning and should be there in five days.

And we have a little surprise for you this time.

Love surprises.

[Dani] Needle-nose pliers.

Okay.

Here we go.

[Baldwin] I don't suppose you're sending us a new batch of videotapes?

[Buzz] Of what? Oh, no. No.

NASA's still having trouble with the Hollywood studios.

They don't want people thinking they can just record their shows at home.

It'd eat into their advertising revenue if they skip the commercials.

But we did manage to include a whole new plumbing assembly for the shower.

Great. I'm looking forward to that. Thank you.

[Buzz] How's Gordo's cold?

He's, uh, feeling better.

Should be back to work real soon.

Glad to hear it.

I'll give you further updates on 24 as they become available.

Houston out.

Jamestown out.

Can it be saved?

-I'd like to introduce my second surprise. -[Baldwin] There it is.

My wife, Emily.

-Ah. -Okay.

She's a new member to our group, and she's also afraid of flying.

Oh! Isn't that nice?

[TV audience laughing]

[Dr. Bob Hartley] Emily, do you want to explain what led to your fear of flying?

Well, I don't think anybody would be interested in my story.

I just thought I'd sit and listen tonight.

I feel you have a lot of hostility toward me.

[TV audience laughing]

Why do you say that, Mr. Carlin?

No. No! No, no, no!

Sorry, guys. That was the best I could do.

What are we gonna do now?

[TV audience laughing]

[Baldwin] "I'd like to introduce my second surprise. My wife, Emily.

Emily is the newest member of our group and also afraid of flying."

[Dani] "Oh, isn't that nice?"

[TV audience laughing]

"Emily, would you like to explain what led to your fear of flying?"

"Oh, I don't think anybody would be interested in my story.

I thought I'd just sit and listen tonight."

"I feel you have a lot of hostility toward me."

[all laughing]

"Emily? Why would you say that, Mr. Carlin?"

"Because Emily, by refusing to tell her story, is implying that her fear is better than mine.

I don't like it, I feel threatened by it, and I don't know how to deal with it."

[all laughing]

"Emily, do you have hostility towards Mr. Carlin?"

"No. I just didn't think anybody would be interested in my story.

I really just thought I'd sit and listen tonight."

"You know, I like you for saying that."

"Thank you. I like you too, very much."

"I don't believe you."

[all laughing]

-Okay. Let's go again. -Let's keep going.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. [clears throat]

[sighs]

Well, this is an embarrassment to your entire family.

Do you realize that?

-Yes, sir. -Speak up!

Yes, sir.

You're supposed to be the man of the house while I'm away.

Supposed to help your mother with all the new responsibilities she's taken on.

But, instead, you're running around, acting like some kinda little punk?

And right before Thanksgiving.

I'm very disappointed in you, Shane.

[sighs, sniffles]

-And now the tears. -[Shane sobbing]

You're 11 years old, Shane.

When are you gonna stop acting like a little baby and start acting like a man?

-I don't know. -Just stop.

-Stop the crying, all right? Cut it out. -I got work to do here.

I don't have time for your little baby shenanigans.

I'll handle it from here, Ed, okay?

Shane, say goodbye to your father.

Bye.

Goodbye, Shane.

[Baldwin] Houston, we're ascending from the mining site with fresh samples.

[CAPCOM] Copy that, Ed. Hope Gordo feels better soon.

Bet you could use another pair of hands processing the ice.

[Baldwin] We surely could, Houston.

And I'm sure Gordo's dying to get back to work as well.

Copy that. Houston out.

[Dani] Ed, how long you gonna keep Gordo under house arrest?

I think the flight surgeons are beginning to get a little worried about his head cold.

[Baldwin] He's on the mend.

He was almost back to his normal self the other day, goofing around, acting out that episode.

He just needs a break.

I'm getting a bad vibe from him lately, like, uh-- like something just isn't computing in his head anymore.

Look, Gordo's tough.

He'll be fine.

After I got sh*t down in Korea, I had a few days back in Seoul where the walls were closing in on me too.

-You got sh*t down? -Yeah.

Supporting a strike mission just north of the 38th parallel.

There was another pilot that crash-landed, and I was flying cover above him when I got clipped by antiaircraft fire.

Two of us spent a week evading the enemy before I made it back to our lines.

[Dani] Before you made it back?

He didn't make it.

I'm sorry, Ed.

[Baldwin] It was a long time ago.

But the point of the story...

is that when I got back to Seoul, I was tightly wound.

I even got short-tempered with a couple of my superiors.

Short-tempered?

-I took a swing at a colonel. -[Dani laughing]

They put me in a hotel room, gave me a bottle of scotch and said, "Don't come back until your head's straight."

[grunts]

Locked myself in that room, resurfaced a few days later, right as rain.

Gordo needs a little time.

Okay.

Well, I used to think the same thing about Clayton.

-You know, that he just needed some time. -Yeah.

But now it's like he's a different man altogether.

A man I don't know anymore.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, my God.

[Weisner] We shouldn't be talking about this on an open channel, Commander.

Well, I agree with you, sir, but I think the Soviets knew full well we'd find their tracks and report back to NASA.

I'll inform the White House, and they'll summon the Soviet ambassador, and I'm sure that they will demand some answers regarding this incident.

Copy that, sir.

And how do you want us to, uh... proceed here on the moon?

Continue your normal operations, Commander.

Do nothing to provoke an incident with the Russian cosmonauts.

We will handle everything through diplomatic channels from now on.

Aye, aye, sir.

[click]

That's insane. I can't believe he'd even suggest that to you.

Do you think Weisner knows?

He doesn't want to know.

He's hoping this whole thing just goes away.

Teddy's little Palm Beach fling has got them all squeamish about anything to do with sex right now.

Last thing they need is a scandal about a d*ke astronaut and a f*g engineer.

I've told you before, I don't like those terms.

This gets out, we're gonna be called much worse.

Then we can't let it get out.

You're not seriously considering this?

I... I don't know. I think we have to put all the options on the table.

What?

There is a certain simplicity to the idea.

It would redefine us in the eyes of the world.

Much harder for anyone to question us if we've taken that step.

Right.

Okay. I'm just gonna say this once, and I want it on the record.

You do this, you actually go through with this, this thing that I can't even say out loud, you do this, then you and I, we're done.

Pam, I'm just considering all the options.

No, this isn't an option. This isn't an idea.

This isn't even a possibility.

Hey, it wouldn't mean anything.

It would to me.

It would mean everything.

I love you.

-Okay? -Okay.

There. Now it's been said, and I said it because it had to be said, and I know you never would.

-I don't know, I-- -This...

This is too big.

What you guys are talking about doing, it is important.

It's deep.

I know it may not be cool or hip to say that these days, but it is how I feel, and I feel it in my bones.

So you do this...

we're done.

[insects chirping]

[engine starting]

Ed.

Dani. Up and at 'em.

Come on, it's time. Let's go. It's time.

It's time, it's time, it's time.

Okay, Ed, this time you're gonna play Mr. Carlin.

Dani, you're gonna play all the women, as usual.

I'm gonna be Bob.

-Gordo, what the hell are you-- -Let's go. Come on, Ed.

What the hell is--

And...

"I'd like to introduce my second surprise.

This is my wife, Emily.

She's a new member to the group, and she's also afraid of flying."

What are you doing? It's the middle of the night.

Mrs. Bakerman has the next line.

Mrs. Bakerman.

That's you.

Um, "Oh, isn't that nice?"

"Emily, you wanna explain what first led to your fear of flying?"

[Baldwin] Gordo, quit this horsing around. We got a busy day tomorrow.

Gordo.

Get up.

Get up.

I'll do it.

[high-pitched voice] "Oh, I didn't think anyone would be interested in my story.

I just thought I'd sit and listen tonight."

"I feel you have a lot of hostility toward me." Small laugh.

"And why do you say that, Mr. Carlin?"

"Because Emily, by refusing to tell her story, is implying that her fear is better than mine.

I don't like it, I feel threatened by it, and I don't know how to deal with it."

Medium laugh.

-What the hell are you doing? -I'm doing the first episode.

"Fly the Unfriendly Skies." Okay? You're getting in the way.

"Emily, do you have hostility to Mr. Carlin?"

"No. I just didn't think anyone would be interested in my story.

-I just thought I'd and sit and listen--" -The hell are you doing? Gordo.

You're stepping on the joke! You're stepping on the joke. Stop.

[Gordo] Uh, where was I?

Mr. Carlin.

Um...

"You know, I like you for saying that."

"Oh. Thank you."

Ed, I think maybe you need to call Houston.

-"I don't believe you." Big laugh. -No. No.

Absolutely not. But you're right.

He's been cooped up in here for too long. He needs to get outside, clear his head.

Okay.

[Gordo] "Right. Well, I was in college.

It was just a little thing.

-A bunch of us were going to Ann Arbor--" -Gordo.

-Gordo. Gordo. Hey. -Hmm?

Let's go for a walk. Outside.

Just the two of us.

-A walk? -Yeah.

Do a little apartment hunting.

And you can show me the great unknown you're always talking about.

What do you say?

-Um... -Come on, bud.

Come on, buddy. Let's suit up.

[Baldwin] It's a beautiful area.

We should take some pictures.

No.

I'll never do that.

That'd spoil it.

Reduce all this to just some chemicals doing tricks on a piece of paper.

No photo could ever really capture this.

I know.

So how you feeling?

Okay.

A little better, I guess.

-Yeah? -Mm.

Well, that's good.

You wanna explain to me what the hell was going on back there?

I don't know.

I just...

I couldn't do it anymore.

-Couldn't do what? -Just stay in that room.

Same walls, same lights.

Same food.

f*cking hell, I hate that food.

I didn't sign up for this, Ed.

I'm a naval aviator.

Flying off carriers. Man, I love a cat sh*t off a carrier at night.

I got into this to push the envelope... and to fly the fastest, baddest, hottest thing you could put a cockpit in.

Flying. [chuckles]

Yeah.

We used to be on the bleeding edge of things, you know?

Go the highest. Fly the fastest.

Pioneers.

That's what we were.

Davy Crockett, Daniel Boone.

You remember those shows?

Mm-hmm.

Same guy played 'em both.

[chuckles] Same coonskin cap and everything. [laughs]

I never understood that.

[chuckles]

Dani could probably explain it.

Yeah.

Davy Crockett, Daniel Boone.

Pioneers.

Going out into the wilderness and blazing a trail to where no man has gone before.

That's why I like it out here.

No man's gone here.

No man.

Just me.

But that's not the job anymore. Not really.

Now it's just homesteading.

Build a cabin, plow the field, put up fences to keep out the neighbors.

I mean, look around you, Ed, we're on the edge of the known universe.

The frontier starts right here.

A whole universe just waiting to be explored, and what are we doing?

Playing house.

That's not what I signed up for.

Not what I signed up for at all.

I get where you're coming from.

I really do, but I don't think those days are really behind us.

-The hell was that? -You know, this is the beginning.

-Hey, what-- -I saw one. Holy sh*t, I saw one.

-What happened? You saw what? -It's an ant.

-There's an ant in my space suit. -In your suit?

I can feel him.

He's crawling. Crawling down the back of my neck.

-Calm down. -They're all over me.

-Gordo. Calm down. -They're all over me.

-Just calm down. -Get it off!

Gotta get my helmet off!

Get it off!

-Gordo, calm down. -Get it off!

Calm down!

Get it off me, man. Get it off me.

No. Gordo, look at me. Look at me. Hey, it's me.

They ain't there. Gordo, everything's gonna be all right.

Just trust me.

Calm down.

[panting]

It's all right. Everything's gonna be okay.

It's all right.

I'm sorry, I'm...

I don't know what happened out there.

-It's okay. -Hmm.

You're fine now.

What are you gonna do, skipper?

It's the middle of the night in Houston.

And I don't want to talk to Australia.

Wait till the morning.

Put the call through.

[Dani] What are you gonna tell 'em?

The truth.

We got a medical situation.

We got to power up the lifeboat.

Take Gordo home.

I'll be okay.

[Baldwin] No, you won't.

And I should've seen it a long time ago. But...

You tried to warn me, Dani, but I didn't listen.

We gotta face it. I mean, you gotta go home, Gordo.

sh*t.

If we abandon this base, the Russians are gonna be all over it before we even break orbit.

I'm not gonna abandon the base.

What do you mean?

I'm sending you and Gordo home without me. I'm staying.

Alone?

I'm naming Dani commander of the return mission.

You'll fly second seat, Gordo.

Follow her orders. Understood?

Understood.

But if we take the lifeboat, you got no way home until Apollo 24 gets its sh*t together and brings the next crew.

Houston will never go for it.

They'll never leave an astronaut marooned on the moon.

I understand all that, but this is my command, and I'll decide what happens to it.

I'm not going to abandon this base or our mining operations to the Russians.

They'd strip Jamestown of every piece of technology they could get their hands on.

I will stay until properly relieved by the crew of Apollo 24.

And that's my final decision.

Too tired to argue anymore.

What's gonna happen to him?

Well, they're gonna send him to the shrinks.

Yeah.

His career's over.

I can tell you that.

They'll never let him fly again.

You mean in space, right?

I mean in anything.

They'll yank his pilot ticket.

m*llitary and civilian.

That'll k*ll him.

Yeah.

-[banging] -[Dani screams]

[Gordo] What's going on?

[Dani] Need a little help here.

[Baldwin] What happened?

You okay?

[panting, moans]

What happened?

I don't know. I was... trying to change the battery, and then it fell on my arm.

-Let me see. -I think it's busted.

-Let me see. -Wait a minute. Think it's the whole arm.

Had to change a battery in the middle of the night?

-By yourself? -Mm-hmm. [groans]

Even on the moon, those things weigh a ton.

[Dani groans]

Hell's bells, Dani.

I think you're right. I think that's busted.

Let me go find the medical kit.

[panting]

You just suddenly had to change the battery?

Couldn't wait till morning?

Yeah. That's just exactly what happened.

So you need to call Houston and let them know that you have an astronaut who has had an accident and needs to go home.

You didn't have to do this.

Clayton's lost, Ed.

And he's not coming back.

I know that.

And if they ground Gordo... he's not coming back either.

[Gordo] All right.

Let me try and get this around your arm.

Okay. Just... breathe.

[exhaling]

Just try to lift it up. There you go. There you go.

-[breathing deeply] -[Gordo] Mm-hmm.

[Weber] We've spoken to the Joint Chiefs as well as the White House, and they all agree that to abandon the Jamestown Base to the Soviets would thr*aten the vital national security interests of the United States.

So, they all support your decision to remain at Jamestown until properly relieved, which should be in two weeks' time.

[Weisner] Over my objections, for the record.

[Weber] Which were so noted in the record.

The president has also decided to promote you to the rank of captain in the United States Navy.

Backdated to the beginning of this mission, with all pay and benefits retroactive to that time.

Congratulations, Captain.

Thank you, sir.

I'm sure Karen will appreciate the extra pay.

We're all good in here. Powered up and ready to burn home.

Copy that.

I guess this is it, huh?

Well, Godspeed and all that.

Yeah.

It won't be long.

We'll kick some ass back there, get-- get those clowns on 24 moving.

Probably be here in...

In about two weeks.

BOHICA.

[laughs]

-BOHICA. -All right, I give up.

I've been pretending I knew what that meant for months.

Enough already. What does BOHICA mean?

Just an old navy saying.

-"Bend over..." -"Here it comes again."

[Dani laughing]

BOHICA.

BOHICA.

Well, okay.

Bye, Bob.

Bye, Bob.

Bye, Bob.

Setting up for the burn.

Everything's on track here, Houston.

[CAPCOM] Roger that, Excalibur.

Hey, Dani?

Yeah, Gordo?

Thank you.

[sighs]

-[computers whirring] -[equipment humming]

Hi, Bob.

[engine stops]

[sighs]

I cannot believe that you did this.

After everything that's going on!

-I'm sorry, okay? -Don't take that tone with me.

Your father is doing one of the bravest things any man has ever done.

He's alone on the moon. And what are you doing?

-Stealing? -It was just some baseball cards!

Doesn't matter what it is.

It's still stealing.

You know, you're lucky I know Mr. Driscoll, because if he had called the police, do you know what would've happened?

Yeah.

Don't you "yeah" me.

Yes, ma'am.

You go to your room, and you do your homework.

You're grounded until after Christmas.

-But I have a basketball game. -Not anymore.

But Dad's always saying I can't let the team down.

Dad's not here.

But I have to go! I can't let the team down!

No, Shane, you're not going to your basketball game.

That's enough!

This is a bunch of crap!

You go to your room and you don't come out until I get home from the PTA meeting.

[engine starts]

[vehicle departing]

[panting]

["Someday Never Comes" playing]

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[sighs]

Jesus.

[sighs]

[police radio chatter]

-Hi, can I help you? -Ma'am, is this your house?

Yes, I'm Karen Baldwin. What's going on?

Is your son Shane Baldwin?

Yes. What's he done?

Ma'am, I'm afraid there's been an accident.

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