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01x02 - Making Room for Izzy

Posted: 04/25/21 14:59
by bunniefuu
♪ Ooh... ♪

[SINGER VOCALIZING]

[GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC]

♪♪

[SIGHS]

Ah!

Ah!

Ooh!

I'll just sleep down here.

Shh!

I'm trying to sleep, lady.

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Every time I turn around ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

[SIGHS]

I'm making pancakes!

Not making pancakes!

I just think you'd feel better

if you made your bed in the morning.

I feel better if you'd stop
telling me how to feel better.

You know I can't do that.

Did your voice change?

[VOICE CRACKS] No,
and my pit hair count

is still only three.

Uh, Izzy, you're in my chair.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know
we had assigned seats.

We don't, sweetie.

They're all the same, Daniel.

[DANIEL SIGHS]

My butt says otherwise.

I didn't know your butt could talk.

So can yours.

It was really chatty at : a.m.

Izzy, can you pass the Choco Wheats?

You ate all the Chocos.

These are nothing but wheats!

It's anarchy!

Dude, relax. It's just cereal.

You don't have to freak...

Where's the bacon?

Dude, relax.

It's just bacon.

Both of you dudes, relax.

We're still working out the kinks.

You guys, please.

If you use all the TP,
put out a new one.

My bad, I'm kind of out
of it this morning

'cause somebody...

is a snorer.

I slept long enough to snore?

Let me fix your hair.
You've got bedhead.

Not as bad as Mom's.

Technically, I've got floor head.

I don't hate this. Thanks, Hannah.

- You're my boo.
- What?

It took me three years
to get to boo status.

She's only been here three weeks!

You guys okay?

Diego texted me .

Yeah. We're out of bacon.

Dude!

You send an emergency text,
you better be bleeding

or trapped in the trunk of a car.

You got here really fast.

You must've been at Emoji's house.

Her name is Emily,

and she would give that
nickname a frowny cat.

Oh, you know what, now that you're here,

can you actually take Izzy to school?

Or theme park, your call.

I know it's not your day,

and I know she's not your kid,

but I'm desperate, and you have a car.

I've got three school drop-offs now.

It's no problem.

I'm off the road for a while,

so I can do the whole "dad thing."

Good, 'cause you're a dad.

You don't need "air quotes."

Let's roll, Izzy.

Have a good day, Iz.

Punky lets me get doughnuts
on my way to school.

This ain't my first rodeo, kid.

Okay, family meeting.

Izzy can't sleep in my bed anymore,

so whose room is she gonna...

BOTH: Not it!

This conversation isn't over!

BOTH: Yeah, it is!

They are so immature.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪♪

Is this a lag bolt, a flange bolt,

or just a screw with
a weird neck thingy?

These instructions
should've came with Xanax.

I want to finish before Izzy gets home.

Poor kid doesn't have a
room or her own bed yet.

I want her to have something
to make her feel at home.

I knew placing Izzy with
you was the right choice.

She needs a good hugger in her life.

I see so much of myself in that kid.

But I gotta be honest,
it's been a little bumpy.

Not just for Izzy,
but for the other kids too.

Well, you need to
remember to take care of you.

There is a reason why they tell you

to put on your oxygen mask first.

I know she's just one kid,
and she's pretty small,

but there's more cooking, more cleaning,

my mom called, there's more homework.

- There's...
- Your mama called?

Yeah.

It was actually a few weeks ago.

Ouch! Use your words.

Sorry.

I just can't believe you've
been sitting on this news.

Now every time the phone rings,
I think it's her.

I always wondered what deep,

philosophical thing I would say.

Turns out it was,
"Where the hell have you been

for the last years?"

- You said that?
- Yeah.

There was so many
questions I wanted to ask.

Were you in a coma,
kidnapped, in a cult?

Did you forget where you parked the car?

The only excuse I'll accept
is a alien abduction.

But I heard her voice and
couldn't ask any of them.

I just told her I'd call
her back and hung up.

Still haven't called her back.

- Am I a bad person?
- No.

The woman abandoned you in
a grocery store parking lot.

It is okay not to have
her number on speed dial.

But you know what,
why don't you give me that number?

'Cause I got a few choice words for her.

But first, come here.

Be careful.

That's where my best friend whacked me.

[LAUGHS] I'm sorry.

[MELLOW GUITAR MUSIC]

[GROANS] Slow down.

My feet are hurting.

Why aren't you wearing sneakers?

Um, because I haven't given up on life.

[SIGHS]

Why didn't Mom pick us
up like she usually does?

She said something came up.

It's not like Mom to make us trek

the mean streets of
Chicago with no warning.

Dude, it's three blocks
alongside a park.

Not only that, usually, she puts a note

on my lunch bag and
signs it with a heart.

Today, it was just a smudge.

Talk about phoning it in.

Ah, get used to it.

You're not the baby anymore.
You're a middle child now.

I'm not a middle.

Oh, my gosh! Izzy
made me a middle child.

Oh, don't sweat it.

It's not all bad being a mid kid.

Nobody pays attention to you,

so it's easier to get away with stuff.

I don't wanna get away with stuff.

It's awesome!

I haven't brushed my teeth
in three whole weeks,

and nobody noticed.

I brush your teeth while you sleep.

You're welcome.

♪♪

This is for me?

Yep. And these four extra screws.

I've never had my own dresser before.

Look at all these drawers!

Who am I, a Kardashian?

I'ma go grab my clothes in the microwave

where I've been keeping them.

Ahem.

See? Invisible.

We're home.

We walked the whole way...

with our feet.

Oh, hey. I didn't hear you come in.

Look what I built!

Cool dresser.

It's for Izzy.

[SIGHS]

Always for the baby.

I had a good day at school today.

- I got an A on my math quiz.
- Fantastic.

See? Not invisible.

I'm gonna go, uh, grab a beer

and go sh**t off some bottle rockets.

Knock yourself out.

You heard her.

Mama said knock you out.

No!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Welcome to your guided meditation.

Let's start by bringing
awareness to your heart space.

- Breathe in for four.
- [INHALING]

Three. Two.

[SLURPING]

What the heck are you doing?

Can't talk, meditating.

Got it.

What's meditating?

Tuning out distractions.

How's that working out for you?

- [SLURPING]
- Not so good.

Can you give me minutes?

[INHALES]

I'm focusing on my breathing.

How hard is that?

I've been doing it since I was a baby.

[RELAXING ZEN MUSIC]

♪♪

Oh, would you look at that?

Plaid and stripes together?

What is going on with me?

Have I lost my mind?

Look at that, untucked.

Wow!

What's next?

[BELCHES]

Yup, taking a walk on the wild side.

- Are you kidding me?
- No!

- This goes in your room!
- It goes in your room.

- [BOTH GRUNT]
- Mom! Tell Diego to stop!

Tell Hannah to stop!

Everybody, stop!

We need to have a talk.

Except Izzy. You can go
watch TV in my room.

I get it. You're all
gonna talk about me.

No.

Okay, we need to talk about Izzy.

She needs more than just a dresser.

She needs a room.

I agree, but we already share a room,

and Hannah doesn't,
So Izzy should share with her.

It's just math.

I can't share a room
because I don't want to.

Well, we need privacy to do boy stuff.

What kind of boy stuff?

No, I don't want to know.

I have girl stuff.

How am I ever supposed
to make out with a boy?

Thank you for flagging that.

New rule: boys are not allowed

in your room with the door closed.

What? Uh...

I'm sorry, I love Izzy,

but she's only seven,
and I'm an adult teenager.

She goes to bed when
I'm texting my friends

and practicing TikTok dances.

I mean, doing my homework.

You don't need to make space
for Izzy in the apartment.

You need to make space
for her in your hearts.

[KIDS GROAN]

Sorry, but my heart belongs
to Timothée Chalamet.

What about Jordan?

We're not a thing anymore.

Why?

'Cause he was jealous of my relationship

with Timothée Chalamet.

The real problem is this apartment.

It's too small.
We need to get a bigger place.

In this neighborhood?

You know how lucky we are

that Henry left us this apartment?

If we got a new place,
we could all get our own rooms.

I call the biggest room since
I make the biggest mess.

No way, I'm the oldest
so I get the biggest room.

- Come on!
- That makes no sense!

I would like to have a
rational conversation

about this, but obviously, we can't.

Everybody, go to your rooms.

Please don't fight over me.

I don't want to be any trouble.

I can just sleep in my dresser.

This is totally going to work.

Can somebody push me in?

Don't you dare.

I'm going to fix this.

It's actually pretty cozy in here.

I can't wait to have a sleepover.

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

♪♪

Kids, can you come out here?

I heard what you said about
this place being too small,

so I reached out to my realtor friend,

and she found us an
amazing new place to live.

Oh, my God, yes.
I better be getting my own room.

I would love my own bathroom.

I'm tired of stepping
in mystery puddles.

It's pee.

I just want what all kids want:

heated floors and a steam shower.

Well, let's go see.

- Oh, yes!
- Let's go!

I'm so excited!

Yeah!

Get in the car.

I call third row.

I can't wait to see this new place.

Whoo!

- [ENGINE STARTS]
- All right, buckle up.

Here we go!

[BRAKES SCREECH]

All right, here we are.

We... we didn't go anywhere.

Yeah, where's our new swag pad?

You're sitting in it.

Our awesome new place is this car.

- So, no steam shower?
- Nope.

You kids have no idea
how good you have it,

so we'll be sleeping in here tonight.

Hmm.

You know what I think?

What?

[SHRIEKING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

I am not staying in here.

I'm going to miss "The Voice."

You know, if I can't talk about
what Gwen Stefani is wearing,

I'll look like an idiot.

Did you really think

I'd forget to put the child locks on?

I'm not a child!

And by the way, escaping is punishable

by revoking your phone privileges.

You know what? I don't need a phone.

I need freedom. I'm out of here.

Nope.

[GRUNTING]

I give up.

Can I have my phone back now?

Nope.

We can't sleep in the car.

You know I get carsick.

If you're gonna blow chunks,
aim it that way.

Nobody is blowing chunks.

Don't worry,
I'm Googling "how to escape a car."


Nope. Hand over your phones.

Most people don't have
a fraction of what we have.

So we're staying here for the night.

Get used to it.

Now, who wants to join me
for some karaoke?

- [SINGING ALONG]
- ♪ She's a maniac ♪

♪ Maniac on the floor ♪

♪ And she's dancing like ♪

♪ She's never danced before ♪

Come on, sing with me!

♪ Maniac on the floor ♪

[SIGHS] Is it morning yet?

It's got to be.

How long have we been in here?

minutes.

That's impossible!

You've been singing for hours.

- [TAPPING ON WINDOW]
- [ALL SHOUT]

What are you doing here?

I just got a text from Hannah.

Seriously?

This is a real emergency.

Mom's making us sleep in the car,

and she's forcing us
to listen to oldies.

They're not oldies.
They're from the ' s.

Oh.

- So you guys are all good?
- Yes.

KIDS: No!

I'm good.

It's really comfy back here.

These seats are leather.

I'm stepping outside,

and if you're still
complaining when I get back,

we are line dancing

to "Material Girl," so help me God.

- Please, no!
- [SOBS] No.

What is the deal with
all these texts?

What's your deal?

Why do you have the kids
sleeping in the car?

I'm trying to teach them a lesson.

An extremely strange lesson. [LAUGHS]

Well, they're being extremely spoiled.

They're not even thinking about
how hard this is for Izzy.

I want them to know what
it's like to struggle.

You're sure this is the right way?

No, not at all.

I don't know what I'm doing.
It's called parenting.

What do you think they're saying?

Dad's saying...

[IMITATING TRAVIS]
"I see your point, Punky,

"but we may need to get
you some psychiatric help.

And a singing teacher."

And Mom's like,

[IMITATING PUNKY]
"Let's take the kids out

"for some deep dish pizza
and forget this whole thing."

"Did you notice how good
Daniel's hair looks?"

"No, he's invisible to me."

Oh, here they come.

Yay! Dad's gonna rescue us.

Hannah, my dear,
would you please move to the back?

I'm going to be joining you guys.

What did you do to him?

You're in a band.

You're supposed to be the cool parent.

[MOUTHS QUIETLY]

[GROANS]

There's an important
lesson to learn here.

Granted it's an unusual way to teach it,

but your mother is unusual.

So, I guess you could
say it's unusually usual...

I just confused myself.

[STAMMERS] The point is,
this isn't so bad.

I mean, I spend a lot of
nights like this out on tour,

crammed into a van with a bunch of dudes

who haven't showered in days.

You brought snacks right?

Nope.

This is going to be a long night.

Jeez, when I left Fenster Hall,

I never thought I'd be
sleeping in a car again.

You slept in a car?

Yeah. Lots of times.

Sometimes, the car's the safest place.

Me and my mom called it city camping.

That's pretty rough.

I've done my share of city camping.

You have?

BOYS: You have?

Yeah.

After my mom left, I had nowhere to go,

so I would sneak into
cars and sleep there.

It was scary and lonely.

That was before I found
the empty apartment

and Henry found me.

I didn't know you slept in cars.

Did you?

I just wanted a safe
place where I felt loved.

That's what I want for Izzy.

I'm a terrible person.

You sure are.

But I guess I am too.

We all are.

My work here is done.

Yo. That was some ninja parenting.

Why did we make such a big deal

about sharing our rooms?

I know, right?

At least we have rooms.

I guess I can make out with
a boy in the treehouse.

I'm sorry, what?

I can't believe I'm saying this, but...

maybe Izzy can share my room.

Or she could share ours.

What do you say, Izzy?

She's out.

Sleeping like a baby.

Remember when I was your baby?

You're still my baby.

You're all my babies.

And I see you. I see all of you.

Uh-oh.

I know most of my attention's
been on Izzy lately,

but it's just because I
wanted her to feel welcome.

It's okay.

I'm getting used to
being a middle child.

You know what else you are?

Izzy's big brother.

Oh, yeah!

I didn't even think about that.

I'm going to be a way
better big bro than you.

Not that hard.

A big brother.

Man, that's a lot of responsibility.

But I bet you can handle it.

And one more thing.

Plaid and stripes... So not your thing.

And Diego, if I ever catch
you with fireworks or beer,

you're so busted.

You did this.

Ready to go back upstairs?

Nah, don't want to wake Izzy.

Let's open the moonroof.

It's a clear night.
We can check out the stars.

[MOONROOF WHIRRING]

Hey, Mom, could you put on some music?

And not sing?

No promises, honey.

[GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR]

♪♪

♪ Oh, here we go ♪

SINGERS: ♪ Dancing in the stars ♪

♪♪

♪ Oh, here we go ♪

SINGERS: ♪ Dancing in the stars ♪

♪♪

[SIGHS] Pillows.

[GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

Mm, blanket.

Do you want to stay out here

or sleep in our room?

Our room?

Sorry I didn't offer sooner.

I'm still getting used to
this "sister" thing.

I've never had one before.

Me neither. I kinda like it.

I can't wait to use our makeup
and wear our clothes.

Okay, we're going to need to
lay down some ground rules.

I got it.

This is big brother stuff.

You're a really good mom.

I'm just winging it.

The only mom I had for
a role model was Henry.

So she called.

- She who?
- My mom.

No, that's... wow.

How are you feeling about it?

Did you get any answers?

I didn't talk to her.

I'm still deciding if I will.

Right now, I want to focus
on this family.

Well, I'm here for it.

I mean, we may not be together-together,

but I'll always have your back,
Punky Brewster.

You do whatever feels right for you.

Jumping into that
pile of kids feels right.

I love this family we built.

You built.

I just hammered in a few nails.

[CHUCKLES]

[SINGER VOCALIZING]

[GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC]

♪♪