01x09 - 80s Block Party

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunny side scrambled, fried soufflé ♪

♪ Punky Brewster ain't no rooster ♪

♪ She's an egg gourmet ♪

Uh-oh.

Punky's rapping to eggs.

That can't be good.

Nah. When she raps,
she's in a good mood.

It's when she starts singing show tunes

that you wanna stay out of her way.

[IMITATING RECORD SCRATCHING]

I am in a great mood.

The annual block party is coming up.

[ALL GROAN]

Block party?

Each year, the neighborhood
blocks off the street

for a party with some dumb theme

like, "Fun in the Sun"

or "Take Down Those Wind Chimes, Karen."

It's like the apocalypse with corn dogs.

The only reason to go is for the raffle.

Unfortunately, you only have, like,

one in a hundred chances of winning.

Oh, yo, we should go together,

get those odds to one in two hundred.

Do you just charm your
way through school?

Well, this year is gonna be different

because they put old Brewster in charge,

and I've already got a
great idea for a theme:

the s.

It's gonna be rad to the max.

I'm not wearing leg warmers.

How do you dress up like the ' s?

For a smart, independent seven-year-old,

I might have some ideas.

I'm sorry, but I don't get
your obsession with the ' s.

I'll give you the Rubik's Cube,
but other than that,

it's a cultural desert.

Not true.

The ' s gave us Run DMC,

scrunchies, "The Goonies"...

Even the word "bad" meant good.

"Where's the beef?"

What beef?

I figured there'd be some pushback,

so I curated a list of movies

and music for you guys to listen to

to get you totally stoked.

Yeah, Mom, I don't want you

to take this the wrong way, but God, no.

- "The NeverEnding Story".
- Hannah, no!

♪ Turn around ♪

♪ And tell me what you see ♪

♪ In her face ♪

Why are we being punished?

♪ The mirror of your dreams ♪

♪ The NeverEnding Story ♪

- Help me.
- Hey!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Every time I turn around ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey! ♪

The items in this box
defined a generation.

Now, they may no longer
hold any financial value,

but they're all still priceless to me.

"Say Anything"? "The Breakfast Club"?

"Footloose"?

"A small Midwestern
town forbids dancing."

But nothing can stop Kevin Bacon

from dancing in his t*nk top.

Yay.

Yeah, how are we supposed
to play any of these?

What?

Hello! With a VCR.

How are you people still alive?

Thanks for bringing these over.

Are you kidding?

It's every dad's dream to impart

his pop culture taste upon his children.

Hey, could we talk for a sec?

Sure.

So about the other night,

that was...

Yeah, it was...

- Fun.
- A total mistake.

Damn, I knew I should
have gone with total mistake.

I mean, it was fun but...

No, no. I... I get it.

You made it clear.

You're on your own path,
and I need to respect that.

I will also respect it if
you're up for more kissing.

Trav.

All right, fine.

I'm playing by your rules.

You're listening. That's new.

I... I just don't want things
to be weird between us.

It doesn't need to be weird.

I mean, we're co-parents

and friends.

Yeah, we... we just need
to keep it professional.

A little weird.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪♪

Thanks for coming over and helping

with my ' s homework.

What is it with old people and the ' s?

My dad still reminisces
about his mullet.

He calls it "the glory days."

You know, "Say Anything" isn't so bad.

I love that Lloyd and Diane have a song.

We should have a song.

We do.

The "Law & Order" theme song.

[LAUGHS]

Wait, for real?

It was playing the first time we kissed.

I'm not sure that counts.

Of course it does.

Every time my parents watch
a rerun of "Law & Order,"

I think of you.

[IMITATES "LAW & ORDER" THEME]

So romantic.

Okay, do you want
to be "Borderline" Madonna,

"Material Girl" Madonna,

"Like a Vir"... "Material Girl,"
Madonna?

Mom, did you and Dad have a song?

Yeah.

"I'm in Love with a Girl" by Big Star.

It was playing the first
time he said he loved me.

It was raining,
and he held his jacket over me,

and his lip did that curl thing.

Or something stupid like that.

Who remembers anymore anyway?

Me and Brandy have a song too,

the ice cream truck song.

It was playing the first time
we took him out for a walk,

although it's not as
romantic as your story

because he was pooping.

[LAUGHS]

Apparently, Sean and I have a song too,

- but I hate it.
- Oh, it can't be that bad.

It's the "Law & Order" theme song.

Oh, yeah. That's a problem.

But this is my first boyfriend.

A first song is a big deal.

We won't get this opportunity again.

I want one with soul,
with heart, with...

I don't know, words?

Then upgrade it.

There should be a grace period

for something as important
as a couple's song.

Upgrade it. Yeah.

Thanks, Mom.

You're mixing Madonnas!

Can Brandy come to the block party?

Oh, honey. I don't want him to get lost.

Please. I'll watch him.

He has to come. He's
a member of the block.

I'll think about it.

Now, let me show you some
things that I was thinking...

Wow.

What's that?

[SOMBER ROCK MUSIC]

♪♪

It's a letter I wrote to
my mom a long time ago.

I never got to deliver it.

I don't even need to open it.

I still know it by heart.

Izzy,

do you think we could
do this a little later?

Sure. I get it.

Moms, am I right?

Dearly beloved.

Okay, Mom put us in charge

of selling all
the raffle tickets, right?

This is our... woah.

So majestic.

I've been watching Prince
videos hours straight.

Honestly, I can no longer tell

where Daniel ends and
the purple one begins.

Okay, well, snap out of it

because we have to figure
out how to rig the raffle.

Did Mom tell you what the prize is?

No, and I mean, I looked

in all her favorite
hiding spots... nothing.

You know what that means? It's big.

Oh, like a dirt bike.

Or a small but tasteful watercraft.

Whatever it is, we have to win.

And I have just the plan.

We pool all our money together
and buy all the tickets we can.

Then we try really hard

not to sell the rest of the tickets.

I knew your low moral standards

would pay off one day.

We split the prize / .

$ .

$ . , partner.

[ROCK BALLAD]

♪♪

Hi.

Hey. I'm glad you're here.

I could use a hug.

This is nice.

You and me hugging

beneath a beautiful sky

while this cool song

with relatable lyrics plays

coincidentally from my phone.

I'll never forget this moment.

- [POP MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONE]
- It's perfect.

R.I.P Fuzzball.

What?

I just buried my pet hamster.

I'll think of her every
time I hear this song.

So will I.

[BRIGHT DANCE MUSIC]

Push, push, push,
push, push, push, push.

Two-step! Ooh!

Huh.

The ' s was a weird time.

I feel for kids today.

I hate to bust your bubble, Punky,

but the ' s were not perfect.

Name one thing that was bad.

Chernobyl, The Challenger,
shoulder pads.

- Okay, but...
- Yeah.

And h*m* was a real problem,

and it didn't get much
better in the ' s.

A lot of us couldn't take
who we wanted to the prom.

I'm sorry, Cher. It's not too late.

I mean, we're already redoing the ' s.

You're right.

I'ma make up for it at the block party.

Lauren and I can make it our prom.

Girl, I'ma take my fiancée to prom!

Oh, my God,
please tell me that you're gonna

wear prom dresses and throw
up in the back of a limo.

[KNOCKING]

Hello, Punky.

Hello, Travis.

I procured the tables
for the block party

and will be picking up the banner

from the print shop this afternoon.

Why, thank you, sir.

That just leaves music.

Ooh, we should hire an ' s cover band.

Oh, that's a terrible idea.

' s cover bands are
where musicians go to die.

But I support your vision.

Good. Because it's genius.

Could I trouble you for
a glass of drinking water

before I head back out?

Why, of course.

'Sup, Cherie?

'Sup, Travis?

What was that?

He asked for a glass of water?

Girl, he knocked on the door

and now he's gonna help
with the block party?

It's like you two are dating.

Oh, my God! You're dating!

Shh. We're not dating.

We just accidentally kissed.

Ooh, girl. I gotta sit down.

- A few times.
- Oh, no.

I gotta walk this out.

It was a mistake.
It happened the other night.

But can we please talk
about this after he leaves?

If he leaves.

Girl, he's probably in there writing

his alternative milk preferences

on your grocery list.

I am not taking Travis back.

Just because he's helping out more,

it doesn't mean that he's changed.

I mean, he's still a musician.

Now, will you excuse me

while I find a dependable musician?

Ooh. This band should be good.

Their number's - .

[PHONE RINGING]

[EXHALES]

Hello. You've reached Bon Halen.

You call, and we jump so high,

we're living on a prayer.

Can I help you?

Travis?

Can I call you back?

[SIGHS]

Well, I guess now's
a good time to tell you

the band got offered a tour,

but I turned it down.

- You turned down a tour?
- Yeah.

To play for Bon Halen?

It pays well.

People pay stupid amounts of money

for old music they could just
hear for free on the radio,

which in itself is a comment

on the stunted state
of listening habit...

You said no to a tour?

Well, it wouldn't be right.

I need to stay home

and be a more present parent.

Mm-hmm.

[ROCK MUSIC]

John. Oh, my gosh.

Crazy running into each other like this.

You're standing outside my front door.

I know. It's so romantic.

- [POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER PHONE]
- ♪ Everything ♪

♪ Everything is better ♪

♪ Everything, everything is better ♪

Oh, I get it.

You're trying to force a new song on me.

Only because our song sucks.

Maybe you can't slow dance to it,

but the song makes me think of you

and our incredible first kiss.

It makes me think of a crime scene.

You know what?

If it means so much to you.
This can be our song.

I don't care.

Well, now it can't.

Because we're having our first fight.

Another milestone. Whoo-hoo!

Can you please take this
with you on your way out?

- [DOOR SLAMS]
- Ugh.

♪ Everything, everything is better ♪

♪ Everything, everything ♪

What do you think?
Luftballons or no luftballons?

Oh, a decision you'll
let me weigh in on.

Fun.

Cherie, you know how much
I appreciate your opinion,

but with Travis,
there's no decision to be made.

I made it when we got divorced.

You say that, but as your best friend,

I can tell when you're waffling.

And right now, you're doing the waffle.

Hey, hey, hey, ladies.

Looking good.

You're looking good too.

He's talking about the decorations.

I realize that now.

All right.

It's getting a little less awkward.

I like this. Where do you want me?

I don't want you.

I meant, where can I help?

I think the snow cone guy needs help.

Perfect.

I'm waffling. I mean, look at him.

I feel like a young Courteney Cox

waiting to be pulled
up on stage to dance.

What do I do?

I think it's time we check in

with that gut of yours.

What's it saying?

It says that I should talk

to him about the kissing.

And your heart?

That I should listen to my gut.

And your brain?

I'll tell you once it stops screaming,
"No, Punky, no!"

You're gonna figure it out.

Hey.

I found some of your
old clothes from the ' s.

But none of the shoes matched.

I've seen people do it.

It's a vibe.

If she says "Punky Power,"
I'ma straight up lose it.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Then why are you tearing up?

You just remind me of a
little girl that I once knew.

Did she watch dogs, too?

Because I've got a leash, treats,

poop bags, and three types of chew toys.

All I need is a dog.

Can I please take Brandy?

- Okay.
- Yes!

I gotta go tell Brandy the good news.

Are you gonna be okay?

Yeah.

Good, 'cause I got a
prom I gotta get ready for.

I have something for you.

It isn't a prom without a corsage.

Thanks, Punky.

And I want you home by midnight.

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

[UPBEAT SURF ROCK MUSIC]

_

[BOTH GIGGLING]

Look at us. Two dope prom queens.

This is actually making me sentimental.

Principal Lamberg can suck it.

I recommend investing

in an S&P Index Fund,

but it's up to you if
you want to throw away

your hard-earned cash on a raffle.

♪ Ooh ♪

Don't give me that look.

I already gave you half.

[DOG WHINES]

Fine.

Come on, kid.

I can't believe you guys
don't like block parties.

They're the best.

Brandy and I have already
had three snow cones.

Look at our tongues.

Hmm?

Oh, yeah. Cool party.

What's wrong?

I messed up with Sean,
and now he's mad at me.

Sorry.

Maybe a snow cone will cheer you up.

No, thanks.

Not really in a fun kind of mood.

So if you're not gonna use

your snow cone tickets... thanks.

Come on, boy.

[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC]

What's the deal with you and Mom?

Nothing.

And I'm cool with that.

[APPLAUSE]

Oh, my God. You guys look amazing.

Awkward prom pic.

[ALL LAUGH]

This was worth the wait.

Thank you for this, Punky.

You have righted a wrong

for two very angsty teens.

It's a good day.

Hold up.

I am sensing a strange energy with you.

It's almost tranquil.

Punky Brewster,
have you stopped waffling?

I think maybe I closed
the door too soon.

And maybe the kiss wasn't a mistake.

Maybe I'm just caught up
in all the nostalgia of it,

but after Travis plays,
I'm gonna talk to him.

- [BOTH SQUEAL]
- [LAUGHS]

OMG. Prom drama.

Do you guys think
I'm crazy? Am I crazy?

No! I mean, yes, but no!

What should I say?

Just open your heart
and express yourself.

You're right.

I don't need to justify my love.

You know you two were speaking

in Madonna song titles, right?

Yep.

I'm gonna so Madonna this thing.

Hey, can I get a raffle ticket?

Uh, yeah... no, we just went
on break, so no can do.

That's okay.

I really just wanted to tell you

I think you're cute.

You know what?

Take all the raffle tickets you want.

Here you go. Free of charge.

Keep walking, sister.

This prize better be worth it.

["LAW & ORDER" THEME SONG]

♪♪

Oh, my God.

Where did you get a boombox?

My dad had it in storage

with a bunch of pictures
of him with his mullet.

I'm sorry, Hannah, I made a mistake.

A song can't be our song
unless we both want it.

So what do you say we
pick a new one together?

Well, but now, I love this one.

Let's still change it though.

The only thing better than one snow cone

is two snow cones.

Right, Brandy?

[POP MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND]

[GASPS] Oh, no.

Oh, no!

Have you seen a dog with a
tongue that looks like this?

Brandy?

Brandy?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Brandy? Where are you?

There you are.

I'm so sorry I lost you.

It's not because I don't love you.

Hey.

Wow.

You look like someone I used to know.

The name's Izzy.

I'm Susan. Nice to meet you.

Are you crying?

I'm just really happy
you found your girl.

Thanks. It's a boy.

You know what would cheer you up?

A snow cone.

Hello, Chicago!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

We are Bon Halen,

and we've got some totally
righteous tunes for you today,

starting with a classic
I'd like to dedicate

to someone very special.

She used to be my best girl.

Now she's my best friend.

This one's for you, Punky.

[THE GO-GO'S "WE GOT THE b*at]

♪ The b*at ♪

[CHEERS]

[POPPY ' S MUSIC]

♪♪

♪ See the people walking
down the street ♪

♪ Fall in line just
watching all their feet ♪

♪ They don't know
where they want to go ♪

♪ But they're walking in time ♪

♪ They got the b*at ♪

♪ They got the b*at, they got the b*at ♪

You look amazing.

So do you, Mom. Are you okay?

Yeah.

♪ Go-go music really makes us dance ♪

♪ Doing the pony puts us in a trance ♪

- ♪ The Watusi... ♪
- See, guys?

This party isn't so bad.

We have something to tell you.

The ' s are kind of a blast!

Oh, yeah. Totally rad.

♪ Yeah ♪ We got it!

♪ We got the b*at ♪

♪ We got the b*at ♪

♪ Everybody, get on your feet ♪

♪ We got the b*at ♪

♪ We know you can dance to the b*at ♪

Let's bust a move!

[CHEERS]

♪ We got the b*at ♪

♪ Round and round and round ♪

♪ We got the b*at ♪

♪ We got the b*at ♪

You were amazing.

Thanks.

It's not the dream,
but playing those songs

does make you nostalgic for what was.

It sure does.

I'm glad you clarified things between us

because I couldn't.

Guess I just had to finally accept

that you and I are better
in the friend zone.

You were right.

Dang it!

Why am I always right?

Hey, everyone. It's time for the raffle.

Oh, here we go.
Make sure ours are on top.

No way. You've seen mom dig

for prizes in the cereal box.

She goes deep.

And the winner is...

- Susan B.!
- No!

We only sold, like, five other tickets.

I mean... yay!

Will Susan B. come up and claim

your vintage keytar?

A keytar?

We wasted $

trying to win a glorified accordion?

All that energy spent
lying and scheming.

I guess we learned our lesson.

Yeah. Don't cheat.

Eh... until you know
it's worth cheating for.

Hey, guys.

Since Susan didn't claim it

and you were the next ticket,
here you go.

I guess we're stuck with the keytar.

Not necessarily.

Hey. Want this dumb thing?

Psh.

Thanks.

Cool, it's worth $ . Hello, eBay.

Okay. Now we learned our lesson.

I know who Susan B is. I just met her.

She's right over there.

Or was.

She's a nice older lady.

She said I reminded her of
someone she used to know.

What?

Kinda weird,
'cause that's what you said too.

Then she started tearing up,
just like you.

What is it with this outfit?

Mom?