06x02 - Meat: The Legends

[bunniefuu]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

So there are aliens scattered throughout history.

- [BODY THUDS]

- [GASPS]

Oh.

- And on our windshield.

- Mick, no.

- No, no, no, no!

- No, you're hurting it.

- Rory!

- Yikes.

- Wow.

- That was a lead.

That alien could have told us something

- about Sara's whereabouts.

- No, girl, that alien is dead.

We don't know that.

We actually don't know anything about these creatures.

Hey, some species could survive head-on collisions.

With a spaceship?

Going thousands of miles an hour?

Stop.

Spooner, are you getting any readings?

- It's dead.

- Ugh.

But the face-sucking squid beasts in those other pods just got dumped

- into the river of time.

- Fantastic.

Sounds like more unpaid labor to me.

Okay, so every single one of those aliens was on the ship with Sara, which means we just have to find one of them, and it should lead us

- back to my girl, right?

- Your fiancée.

Right.

[CHUCKLES]

Gidget, please find us some aliens.

- Please.

- Actually, Ms. Tarazi,

it appears we already have a bite, so to speak.

Where?

-

♪ ♪

- _ [EXCITING SYNTH MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Okay, Gideon, what do we got?

October , , San Bernardino, California,

A town known as the birthplace of fast food.

And ergo the death of the great American eatery.

Before fast food, mom and pop burger joints were the b*ating heart of every town.

Funny you should mention it, Mr. Tarazi.

The anomaly seems to have

started at Big Bang Burger

owned by local businessman Bert Beeman,

and within hours,

San Bernardino went

from bustling suburban enclave to...

[BLOOD SPLASHES]

- Ew.

- Whoa.

The entire population was k*lled overnight

leaving no survivors.

Historians dubbed it the m*ssacre on Main Street.

Mm, no, I would've gone with Suburban Slaughter.

Save it for the podcast.

Ah.

- This is good news.

- Y'all are dark.

We'll go back, stop the alien, and it can tell us how to find Sara.

Okay, so...

And what exactly is the plan here?

Oh, the...

well, you're the plan.

[CHUCKLES]

So you're gonna help us find the alien and then you're gonna get it

- to tell us where Sara is.

- Uh, no way.

I'm only staying on this ship till you guys get this thing out of my head.

That was the deal.

Apologies, Ms. Cruz, but that won't be possible.

What?

I was gonna tell you before the whole, you know, alien pods thing.

Gideon didn't find anything to remove.

I'm sorry.

So first you kidnap me, then you lied.

Take me home now.

Look, um, I'm really sorry, but I can't do that.

I need you to talk to the alien.

This thing's not gonna give us directions to find your girlfriend.

It's gonna k*ll us.

Look, you're amongst board-certified superheroes.

You don't have to worry about getting k*lled.

They took your captain.

If you guys are so super, then why didn't you

- just stop them then?

- Listen to me.

I need you to help us find Sara, okay?

After you do that, I will take you wherever the hell you wanna go.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[THE CLEFTONES' "ANGEL LOVER"]

♪ My angel lover ♪

- [CAR HORN HONKS]

[DOO-WOP MUSIC]

Oh, look at those perfect patties.

Get 'em out while they're hot, and don't forget...

- service with a smile.

- Whoo-hoo!

We got another one at the window!

Up, let's go, let's go!

Keep it moving!

We got a lot of mouths to feed.

♪ Dreams come true today ♪

♪ You make me feel that way ♪

- ♪ My love ♪

Wel-wel-wel-welcome to Big Bang Burger!

Try our new Cosmic Mushroom Burger!

What, you think aliens are funny?

It's a paycheck.

The goal is to blend, okay?

You picking up any alien signals?

- Mm-mm.

- Mm.

Guys, hey, split up, mingle, find out if anyone's seen anything that could lead us to the alien.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

[SIGHS]

And Sara.

♪ That I could ever be untrue ♪

- [GROANS]

- [GROANS]

Sara...

[GROANS]

Are you okay?

We just crash landed on an alien spaceship.

No, Gary, I am not okay.

[SPEAKING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE]

- Oh, boy, that's not good.

- What did Alien Gideon say?

Uh, it's a little hard to translate exactly since in my language there are over ways to say "explode from the inside".

The general idea is we, uh, lost all our fuel

- when we crashed.

- Whoa.

Where are we?

Uh, we were on course to land on Pliny X , but Kayla didn't give me any other details.

Well, I thought she was supposed to be your fiancée.

Ex-fiancée, and, um, communication wasn't our strong suit, uh, but I do know that we were hired by some power hungry space lord to gather the universe's most dangerous creatures,

- and now we're on his planet.

- Huh.

It could be "Hunger Games" out there, or the air could be poisonous gas.

Okay, we just... we need to find something that can fuel this ship so we can get back home.

Or what if we send out a distress signal and then wait for the Legends to come find us?

And, uh, good news...

I've got my deck of strong American women playing cards.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Dolores Huerta, Representative Shirley Chisholm.

Of all the people to be stuck with.

[DOG BARKS]

What is... what is that?

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]

Dog?

- A really cute dog.

- Three moons.

Three moons, yeah, I can get behind that, but a dog, that's weird.

But...

if the dog can breathe, that means we can breathe.

And it's wearing a scarf!

Okay, Gary, resist the cuteness.

You've been fooled by dogs before.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna follow that dog.

[DOO-WOP MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Mmm.

Pretty busy here today.

Anything special going on?

Oh, it's always busy.

The burgers are out of this world.

♪ ♪

What's that?

Dragon Ash.

It's my line of herbal nootropic supplements designed to enhance brain power, sex appeal, sleep cycle, spirit...

Sounds like more fries for me.

Takes me back to my days at Burger Herder.

The satisfying ache in my forearm from a day flipping patties.

Of course, those patties were organic and free range.

The meat they used in often contained ingredients which precluded it from being called beef.

Ew.

[AIR WHOOSHES]

You know, I've been thinking, bro.

It is time for us to start sharing the family heirloom.

So you can dry your hair faster?

Ha ha...

I helped defeat a god, or whatever that scary blonde lady was.

I'm officially a Legend now.

All I need is my super power.

Here, I made a schedule.

- Hey, hey.

- Whoa, whoa.

No one is more stoked than me to discover your powers,

- but the totem chose me.

- No, you literally stole it.

- Debatable.

- Guys, guys, shut up.

- [RADIO CHATTER]

- I'm working here.

Please respond to a .

♪ ♪

- Ooh, I have an idea.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What are you...

- Just go with it.

Okay, all right.

[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]

Uh, pardon me, officers, hi.

We're just here on vacation, and we were wondering...

how safe is San Bernardino?

Safe as houses.

- So no arson or robbery?

- [SHARP HUMMING]

[WITH SOUTHERN ACCENT] Or any gruesome eviscerations?

- [SHARP HUMMING]

- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

There's a A in Sal's Deli.

- Repeat, A.

- Pass me a napkin?

Uh... A A?

[CHUCKLES]

- That sounds mighty serious.

- Yes.

Ma'am, if you wanna stick your nose in someone's business, I suggest you start with your friend.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need another burger.

[SHARP HUMMING]

Hey, hey, hey, are you all right?

- Did you hear something?

- I can feel it.

- It's hungry.

- Focus.

Now, where's it coming from, love?

Maybe that way.

Okay, the feeling's getting stronger.

Yeah, what about the waitress?

She has glasses like Gary.

You mean the alien in a waitress flesh suit?

- Spooner, wait...

- Hey!

- All right, what are you really?

- [WHIMPERS]

- Her disguise is good.

- No, no, wait...

Just...

just...

I am so sorry.

My friend thought you were an...

[STAMMERS]

someone else.

I'm sorry.

What happened?

- What's wrong with your powers?

- Nothing.

I felt it.

Look, that thing is nearby.

- Believe me.

- Found the alien.

Rory?

You stole a cop car?

Uh, okay, where is it?

That A at the deli was followed up by a at the butcher's and a at the meat aisle of the local grocery.

Alarm at the deli, as*ault at the groceries, and disturbance at the butcher's.

- Mm.

- This thing loves meat.

That must be how the m*ssacre starts.

Well, let's find it before it gets a taste for another kind of flesh.

Hey, guys, we have a lead on the alien.

I need you to guard the burger joint.

Turns out we have a very hungry alien

- with a taste for meat.

Already on it, Captain.

- Guess who just got summer jobs.

- Nice.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

- [DOO-WOP MUSIC]

So glad you lot applied for the jobs.

Business is boomin'.

I never thought I'd get the chance to man the grill again professionally.

I'm excited to see the master at work.

[TOGETHER]

Burger buddies.

Size nine, right?

/ , and I am not wearing those.

You're right.

We could use a handsome man out there.

- It's you.

- Me?

- Yeah.

- No...

okay.

Let's get you on wheels.

Looks like it's time to teach you

- the ways of the burger.

- [BELL DINGS]

Let's go meet the meats.

♪ ♪

How did I get here?

[LIQUID GURGLING DISTANTLY]

Don't you have any alien super powers that can find a dog?

Super smell or echolocation?

- I'm not that kind of alien.

- [SIGHS]

I'm not that different from you, really.

Carbon based, a few more tentacles.

- Yeah, and you eat people.

- I come from a savage planet.

They k*lled for sport, ate their own.

The concept of oral hygiene was completely unknown.

And I wasn't so much engaged to Kayla as traded to her, and then I was sent to Earth to find you.

Never imagined a place like that could exist.

Birthday parties.

Rose water.

- Friends.

- [SCOFFS]

Friends.

I've known you for three years, and I'm only now learning you're an alien.

Well, I took some creative license with the details, you know, so I could fit in just like Charlie.

Why me?

My guess, whoever's behind all this has a thing for powerful women too.

Lucky me.

[DOG WHIMPERS]

[DRAMATIC THEREMIN MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Do we wanna know where that came from?

♪ ♪

[DOOR CHIMES]

[EERIE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SHARP HUMMING]

Mm, yeah, it's here.

[SHARP HUMMING]

Here like before or?

♪ ♪

Look, I spent my whole life trying not to let aliens into my head, and now to try to save your girlfriend, I've got them all in there, which is no freaking picnic.

I don't know how the hell it works, but I know it does, so back off.

We got something.

♪ ♪

- [SHARP HUMMING]

- It's close.

♪ ♪

[HEAVY BREATHING, GRUNTING]

[GROANING]

[w*apon POWERS UP]

Is that the Big Bang Burger mascot?

Ugh, that's just a bloke in an alien's costume.

Alien disguised as a human disguised as an alien.

- Wow, these things are good.

- The kid is not an alien.

Would you stop pointing your g*n at him?

Look.

You sure?

'Cause I never saw a man so mad for meat, and I grew up along our nation's storied buffet belt.

All right, let's get him back to the MedBay and see what we can find out.

- Oh, hey!

- This...

stays with me until after we talk to the alien.

[DRAMATIC THEREMIN MUSIC]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Careful, careful.

On my planet, there are plants that can literally liquify you.

Also ones that can sing, which I guess is besides the point, but...

Gary, what did I say about talking?

Uh, well, I believe your precise word was "don't", but, uh, I sensed nuance in your tone.

[DOG BARKING]

Huh.

I guess I'm not the only intelligent life form

- on this planet.

- Wait, wait, wait.

We don't know what's in there.

It could be a priblintz, which is kind of like a half-jaguar, half-snake thing or an apteroc, which is also half-jaguar,

- half-snake, but opposite parts.

- Gary, it's not like I haven't faced aliens before.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Oh.

Who the blazes are you?

Right back at you.

Wait, are you human?

Not just any human.

It's the queen of diamonds...

Amelia Earhart.

Big fan.

[VALIANT MUSIC]

Take in that smoke and hold it, relaxing those muscles, releasing any tension.

Can you please stop talking to yourself?

I'm not talking to myself.

I'm talking to my burger.

[SOFT POP MUSIC]

Releasing any tension and turning it into flavor.

Oh.

All right, no sign of trouble out there, however, I think my shorts may be a little too short.

None of my customers are leaving.

Any heat in the kitchen?

Well, if we're looking for people obsessed with meat, we should probably lock up the Burger Whisperer here.

[RINGS BELL]

With this spatula comes a duty to transfer our positive energy into this burger and out to that town.

If these are the vibes that you put into their food, they're gonna taste it, and if these are the vibes you bring to the mission, the totem's gonna feel it.

Oh, I get it.

You're just looking for another excuse to keep the totem to yourself.

I don't think it cares about my meaningless burger job.

- Meaningless?

- [BURGER SIZZLES]

The Burger Herder was where I started to find real meaning in life, the first place where people cared about me, not 'cause I was "Dragon Girl's Brother",

- but because I was Behrad.

- Okay, got it.

So you're gonna just keep hogging the totem as payback because you were jealous of me.

- Super mature.

- I wasn't jealous.

Are you even listening?

It just felt good to have something to myself, okay?

Fine, keep the totem.

You know what?

Keep the spatula too.

I wouldn't want to ruin anything else

- with my negative energy.

- That's not what I...

It's me.

I need that table six order.

Come on.

[HUMMING]

One dry naked single coming right up.

- Whip!

- Go, go.

Wait, Nate, don't serve that!

They'll taste my bad vibes.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

The scan confirms the subject's biology

- is % human.

- [SIGHS]

Look, his biology might be human, but I'm still feeling strong alien vibes.

Well, if there is something in there, the Divination of Hor should do the trick.

It extracts all unwanted influences, giving you face time with whatever's in him.

So you just rattle off this hooey

- and magic stuff happens?

- Yeah, that's right.

Hoc Carmen, conuro...

Don't finish that sentence, not unless you wanna summon a trickster prawn.

Yeah, I'd like to see a prawn get one past me.

Let's get this over with.

All right.

[ETHEREAL WHOOSH]

Inntrenger, gi deg til kjenne!

[RETCHES]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

- Oh.

- Oh.

- That's some high-grade hooey.

- Wait a second.

I think I've seen this stuff before.

Is that Big Bang Burger's secret sauce?

Wait, don't touch that, and definitely don't eat it.

Why would I eat it?

[SHARP HUMMING]

- That's the alien.

- That's the alien?

What, you mean they're charging ¢ extra to eat an alien?

That's kind of a bargain, really.

That's why I was hearing it all over town 'cause everyone's got it in them.

Like an extra-terrestrial parasite.

Driving this town to eat itself alive.

Okay, okay, so if that parasitic condiment is the alien, fine.

Then that means you can talk to it.

- That's not how it works.

- Will you just try?

Sara's one day closer to dead, and your plan is to hunt mayo.

Thank you so much for the constructive feedback, Mick.

It's very helpful.

♪ Let me tell you, honey ♪

♪ Why I love you so ♪

♪ Kiss me, baby ♪

♪ Ooh, kiss me, baby ♪

♪ You set my soul on fire ♪

♪ Kiss me, baby, ooh ♪

You're doing it!

You're in the zone!

The people are loving your burgers, man.

- I feel like I'm flying!

- Fly, B, fly!

Spirit Ash, do your work.

[ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC]

Guys, listen to me.

Can I take your order?

I need you to stop serving those burgers.

Bottle up all that secret sauce and bring it back to the ship.

The sauce is the alien.

It's like a parasite.

It infects people and makes them crave more meat.

And here I thought my short shorts were selling burgers.

Oh, it's like that old movie, "The Stuff" except with aioli

- instead of ice cream.

- Sorry, are you saying that anyone who ate a burger is gonna go super crazy now?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Copy that, Ava.

We'll the hockey pucks on the fly.

I think he means we're gonna stop serving people alien goo.

Ew.

All right, health code violation!

Come on, boys, you gotta go.

We don't have the permission to serve food on roller skates.

Get!

Get out of here!

You get the totem.

I get to take out the trash.

What is going on out here?

Where are my customers?

Why, you little...

you're stealing my secret sauce!

Bert, it's not what it looks like.

Who are you spying for?

It's those two brothers, the Mc... whatevers!

I knew a chef as good as you

- was too good to be true.

- Wow.

It's an honor to hear that, boss, but, seriously, this sauce

- is making people crazy.

- Yeah.

Once they eat it, they can't stop craving meat.

Son, that's called quality.

If you keep feeding people this, they're going to die, Bert.

Well, people don't eat burgers and fries

- to live longer.

- Hm.

- [DOOR OPENS]

- Uh, you might wanna...

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

- Ugh.

- [GRUNTS]

Need more!

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

♪ ♪

[GRUNTING]

♪ ♪

- You believe us now, Bert?

- Is this the last of it?

Where do you even get this stuff?

- Answer him!

- Listen!

I-I don't know.

My wife makes it.

It's her secret recipe.

She won't even tell me.

- [SIGHS]

- Ugh.

Ava, we got a problem.

We got all the sauce out of here, but turns out there's a lot more of this stuff.

Bert says his wife makes the sauce at their house.

Okay, well, if we find it all, then Spooner should be able to talk to it.

I'll head there now.

I still don't understand.

How did you end up here?

Well, Earhart's interest in flying began with a visit to the Canadian National Exhibition.

Sorry, it's a fun fact.

Wish I had an answer for you.

Last thing I remember, I was soaring over the Pacific.

Me and my navigator Fred almost done our flight around the globe.

It was mission accomplished.

Then the left engine started sputtering, the Canary bucked, and I hit my head hard and blacked out.

When I woke up, Fred was gone, and I was here.

And where is here?

I thought it was heaven or something, but to tell you the truth, I still don't know where we are exactly.

On the bright side, the food's good.

Hey, listen, I'm trying to repair my aircraft.

Maybe you can take a look at it.

- It needs a fuel source.

- An aircraft?

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

But that means that you can take me home.

Oh, well, yeah.

I mean, I guess.

Why not?

Let's do it.

Let's go.

First let me serve you.

Why let this meal go to waste?

It's been so long since I've had any guests.

♪ ♪

Uh, yeah.

Sure, okay.

Hot dog!

I've been frightfully lonesome

- since I've been here.

- Yeah.

You two are lucky to have each other.

♪ ♪

Yeah, um...

♪ ♪

[BRAKES SCREECH]

- [SHARP HUMMING]

- Mm.

Hell yeah, this is the spot.

Okay, let's go interrogate this thing.

I keep trying to tell you that's not how it works.

I don't speak alien.

It's more like I can sense them,

- know what they're feeling.

- Know what they're feeling?

How is that supposed to get Sara back?

You're the one that brought me here, jefa.

Why do you people listen to her?

- She's gonna get you all k*lled.

- Don't, mate.

The hell is that supposed to mean?

It means you don't cross an alien without losing something.

It means the longer you pretend she's still out there, that these things will help you get her back,

- the more you're gonna lose.

- Stop.

She's gone, and if you can get that in your head, at least you can save yourself.

Shut up, Spooner.

- Watch her, John.

- Yeah.

- So you're with the police.

- Mm-hmm.

Which officer are you married to?

Hm?

Oh, well, you probably haven't met him yet seeing as we just moved here and all, but that's why I wanted to introduce myself to you.

My, my, my, what a lovely home you have here.

[GASPS]

- Is that an electric mixer?

- It sure is.

No, I have heard about these.

Wow, it's like I'm in the future.

It does everything... cakes, cookies.

Oh, you know, I just whipped up a batch.

- You have to try them.

- Huh?

Oh, no, I couldn't.

I am stuffed.

I just had lunch at Big Bang Burger.

Talk about a welcome to the neighborhood.

Well, isn't that something.

That's my husband's restaurant.

You don't say.

[CHUCKLES]

You know what makes those burgers really special?

It's that secret sauce.

Mm, mm, mmm.

And he was bragging to everyone about how it's his wife's recipe, and...

It's true.

My little contribution to the family business.

You have to tell me how you came up with it.

What's your secret ingredient?

- But I couldn't.

- Oh, come on, now.

Just between us girls.

Well, all right, but what I'm about to say cannot leave these walls.

To be honest, it's a little weird, and I'm not too sure people are ready for the truth.

I am all ears, no lips.

My secret ingredient, it's rice vinegar from the East.

[GASPS]

Wow.

- I know, exotic.

- Yes.

Well, I really should be getting dinner started.

- Mm.

- These eggs aren't gonna devil themselves.

No, no.

[EERIE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Um, I'll just see myself out.

Toodle-oo.

♪ ♪

This better be the last of the alien sauce, or we will call the FDA.

All right, I got Sandra set up in the back office with enough burgers to last her through the night.

- [DOOR CHIMES]

- Meat!

- Meat!

- Oh!

Oh, no, not the nice couple from table six!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Get back!

- Let me..

- Gotta get 'em!

[GRUNTING]

Look alive, team.

The dinner rush is here.

♪ ♪

What does that look like to you?

I don't know.

Mr. Beeman's midlife crisis?

No, not the car.

That weird, bumpy box.

[EERIE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Anybody up here?

♪ ♪

The alien's pod.

♪ ♪

[SHARP HUMMING]

♪ ♪

Wait.

- I can read that.

- Oh, yeah?

Well, what's it say, squire?

- Giant air feeder.

- And what the hell is that?

I don't know, but it sure don't look

- like a sauce monster.

- Yeah, good work.

- Ava.

- Just give me a second, John.

♪ ♪

Damn it.

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪

[GASPS]

♪ ♪

Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

I told you it does everything.

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪

I won't let her take you from me.

♪ ♪

I won't let her.

♪ ♪

[SNIFFS]

Ugh.

[EERIE MUSIC]

I knew you were up to something.

Is your husband even a policeman?

Well, you see, my wife...

well, she's my fiancée.

Well, technically, she hasn't asked me yet, but I did say yes, so I guess that makes us...

Never mind.

Sara, my friend, she was abducted by aliens, and that's exactly what that thing is.

It's an alien.

I have no idea which part of that sentence makes the least sense.

I don't care what she is.

She's mine.

My little miracle.

She's the only thing keeping our business alive.

Wait a minute... you've been knowingly serving your customers that slime?

At first, I didn't know where the stuff came from.

Last Wednesday, I served Bert his favorite...

Salisbury steak...

when something from the ceiling

dripped onto his plate.

I tried to stop him, but he tasted it and loved it.

He thought it was my recipe.

Bert's business had been failing,

and it was taking our marriage with it.

He was sure if we added my secret sauce

to the menu, we could turn things around,

so I had to find out where the sauce came from.

While Bert was asleep, I came up here

and discovered it.

This beautiful creature.

She'd found her way into our attic.

She was small back then, and I knew

the universe gave her to me to save our marriage...

[LAUGHS]

And our family business.

Rhonda, I need you to let me take it from here.

We're running out of time.

Look at it.

It's growing.

It could take over the whole town.

Wait, you're right.

If she's growing, that means...

♪ ♪

We could franchise!

[GASPS]

Finally the Beemans will get the success they deserve.

Oh, we'll take over more than this town.

We'll put those brothers out of business.

Big Bang Burger will be a household name!

We'll be in every city, every state!

Oh!

I hate to see a small business go down like that.

Spooner, I am so glad that you don't follow orders.

Well, looks like doomsday is finally here, and it's ordered the burger.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

We need to calm these people down!

Wait, I have an idea.

Sleepytime Dragon Ash.

Even a small dose will calm the most restless spirit.

Yeah, but how do we get them to eat it?

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

By giving the customer what they want.

I'll lace the burgers with Dragon Ash,

- feed 'em to the horde!

- Yes.

But I'll have to serve quick.

♪ ♪

Behrad, wait, let me help.

- Zari, are you sure?

- I learned from the best.

Today you're not Dragon Girl's brother.

♪ ♪

I'm Burger Boy's sister.

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

You're gonna need this.

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Okay, so you're saying this lady found a cocoon oozing alien pus and thought, "let's put this on the menu"?

Yeah, you might not wanna look at what's in fast food these days.

So if that's the alien, then why is the sauce driving everyone into a feeding frenzy?

When this thing pops, she's gonna be hungry.

She's been fattening up the town

- for her first meal.

- The m*ssacre.

[EERIE MUSIC]

- Oh!

- [GRUNTS]

I won't let you take this from me!

She's mine, all mine!

I won't let you destroy our American dream!

♪ ♪

[SCREAMS]

[ROARS]

[SCREAMING]

♪ ♪

[GULPS]

♪ ♪

[ROARS]

Uh, uh, we need to contain it.

♪ ♪

[ROARS]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I bet I know where it's going.

More patties coming in hot!

[DOO-WOP MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Give 'em the works.

That would be four cows buried in snow.

RIP.

- [RINGS BELL]

- Pick up.

Take it.

♪ ♪

It worked!

They're falling asleep.

[TOGETHER]

Burger buddies!

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]



- Hey, guys...

- Hey, we found the alien.

Tell 'em we found the alien.

Yeah, it turns out the goo isn't the alien.

It's a huge, flying bug!

Like Mothra, cool.

It has a taste for human flesh,

and it is headed your way.

Well, that's less cool.

[ROARS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[ROARS]

♪ ♪

Guys.

Oh.

[ROARS]

I liked the alien better when it was goo.

Damn it!

[TIRES SCREECH]

♪ ♪

How are we supposed to get it down?

- We need bait.

- Oh, jeez!

- Oh, shoo!

- [ROARS]

Shoo, you!

Just what I need!

Hey, get inside, you silly git!

- [ROARS]

- Whoa!

[SCREAMS]

[ROARS]

You wanna take it back to the ship?

- See if maybe I can talk to it?

- Uh, yeah, light it up.

♪ ♪

[g*n HUMS]

♪ ♪

[ROARS]

♪ ♪

Whoa.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]

[ROARS AND GROANS]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Whew.

♪ ♪

I'm not gonna lie.

That was very satisfying.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[CLEARS THROAT]

Double fisting...

I like your style.

Oh, I...

[CHUCKLES]

Poured it for Sara.

It's just habit.

Hey, shouldn't let it go to waste.

[TENDER MUSIC]

I'm sorry I couldn't help you find your lady.

Oh, no, Ava Sharpe does not give up that easily.

♪ ♪

Listen, I owe you an apology.

I was so desperate for this alien to be the answer to all my prayers that I didn't even think about how you'd be feeling

- about any of it.

- Nah, I get it.

- You know, Sara's a lucky woman.

- Thanks.

You know...

I know what it's like to have people mess with you, and it doesn't make you crazy.

Just makes you vigilant.

♪ ♪

So what happened to you when you were a kid?

Look, I don't really talk about...

♪ ♪

My mom.

I don't know where they took us or what they did to us, but when I woke up, she was gone.

♪ ♪

Maybe she's...

I had to stop thinking that way.

No, hoping like that for that long, I mean, that can drive you crazy.

Instead I...

I gave up everything preparing for the moment I'd get to blow one of those things away, you know, but now that I've done it...

I thought I'd feel something more.

♪ ♪

Now instead I just got nothing left.

I mean, you've got us.

You mean...

If you'll stay.

- You want me to stay?

- Yeah.

I almost k*lled a furry

- in the freezer.

- [CHUCKLES]

We need to adjust some of your tactics a little, but...

This thing in my head, I don't know

- how to control it.

- Well, we can help you learn.

This isn't the end for either of us,

- so...

- [CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

♪ ♪

You're right.

It isn't over.

There are still more aliens out there.

Exactly.

You can still find your girlfriend.

Oh, I know we will.

And that I just didn't sh**t enough of 'em.

Wha...

um, wait, wait, wait, that's...

All right, I'm in.

We're gonna keep k*lling aliens until you find Sara and I get some closure.

Yeah, that's not what...

♪ ♪

Actually, that sounds like a perfect plan.

Okay.

♪ ♪

- [SIGHS]

- Ah, thanks.

I loved being back behind the grill, but my pores did not.

Time to cleanse.

In the wake of what has been called

the deadliest butterfly att*ck on record,

we have a little bit of good news.

After the death of the owner

of Big Bang Burger, head waitress Sandy Sledge

has decided to reopen the beloved diner

under a new name.

Yes, girl boss.

I hope she turned it into a juice place.

It's belly, belly good!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

She did not.

Hey, Z, about before, you were right.

I have been selfish about this whole totem thing and a little patriarchal.

It would be my privilege to share it with you.

[CLEARS THROAT]

No, I need to respect your boundaries.

The totem is your thing.

I get that.

It's a Tarazi family heirloom.

It only makes sense that we both use it.

There is no shortage of ways for me to be super.

I don't need to take away your power to harness my own.

Listen, you've given me a new life, new friends.

I can't take this away from you.

It's already yours, Z. The totem chose both of us.

Then I chose to give it back to you, B.

But think of all the ways you could use

your wind powers to help the team.

You know, I have been thinking of talking to Ava.

I could see myself in a more...

managerial capacity on the ship.

All right, I can't take this anymore.

[ETHEREAL WHOOSH AND CLANK]

Whoa, it split in two.

We're, like, really good at sharing.

[CREATURE CAWS IN THE DISTANCE]

Fearless flyer, fashion icon, and a great hostess.

I mean, is there anything she can't do?

- Yeah, and the stew was good.

- Yes.

Hope you like your coffee straight.

Yep.

You have really made a home for yourself here.

I mean, how did you get through those first few nights?

Wish I had an answer for you.

Last thing I remember, I was soaring over the Pacific.

Me and my navigator Fred were almost done our flight around the globe.

It was mission accomplished.

Are... are you feeling okay?

Wish I had an answer for you.

Last thing I remember, I was soaring over the Pacific.

Me and my navigator Fred almost done with our flight around the globe.

It was mission accomplished.

Then the left engine started sputtering... I have a bad feeling about this, and we need to go now.

- Come on.

- Where are you going?

We were just heading back to the ship

- because it's getting dark...

- No!

You can't leave me here.

I need to go with you.

What...

[EERIE MUSIC]

I need to go home!

[SCREECHES]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

- Ugh.

- Sara, we need to go!

♪ ♪

[GROANING]

♪ ♪

[GROANING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

I'm sorry.

This is all my fault.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I swear I will do everything in my power to get you home, ideally in time for a spring wedding.

Although with your matching Nordic complexions, a winter wedding would be spectacular.

[QUIETLY]

Gary.

You are not planning my wedding.

Ouch.

- Okay.

- Ah.

♪ ♪

Though a winter wedding would be beautiful.

Yeah.

What is that?

♪ ♪

Firefly...

to guide us to safety.

[EERIE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

I hope.

♪ ♪