03x12 - I Was Made to Love You

Episode transcripts for the show "Legacies". Aired: October 2018 to present.*

Moderator: sberg98

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Series spin-off from the "The Vampire Diaries" and "The Originals" has a new generation of protectors in the infamous town of Mystic Falls.
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03x12 - I Was Made to Love You

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ ♪ (CRICKETS CHIRPING SOFTLY)

(DOOR CREAKING)

Come on, Lan, imagine you're having a baby and push.

A baby?

At least that's what I do.

Come on, push.

Push!

Push!

(GRUNTS)

Yes!

- Yeah!

- Yes!

- That's what I'm talking about!

- Yes!

Let's go!

- Let's go, boy!

- Yes!

(LAUGHS)

You know, this isn't what I was expecting.

Right, I totally thought his arms were gonna snap.

Yeah, do you even lift, bro?

I mean, it's a new hobby.

I haven't really been sleeping well since I got back from Malivore, so...

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I found a perfectly healthy coping mechanism here with Jed, and...

and, uh, didn't want you to worry.

Kind of like you're doing now.

No, I mean, I'm actually relieved.

You know, I thought...

Doesn't matter what I thought.

You know what?

Get as yoked as you want.

Nice.

Hey, but cardio matters, too.

You want to go for a midnight run?

Yeah, I do.

I'll see you soon.

Bye.

Oh, boys.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

(WIND RUSHES)

LIZZIE: "Dear Jo, as usual, I've made a huge mess of things.

I'll be gone for a while, so I can take action to break this pattern on my end But on yours, there's something you need to know about Finch...

who she is...

what she is."

(QUIETLY): A werewolf.

ALARIC: Listen, I was hoping that she would tell you herself, but Lizzie felt bad about what happened, so she found a Wiccan wellness retreat to help her manage her control issues, among other things.

And her being alone in the woods with a bunch of other witches sounded like a good idea to you?

Yes, it did, because I am working on my control issues, too.

Well, that's not the only thing you're working on.

What is all of this?

Well, this is my theory about all the monster madness that we're dealing with here.

Which I should have had sooner, before your sister left town, because proving it requires a witch.

I can help.

I'm back in the game.

Because no matter what it is, it's better than dealing with my personal life.

Well... given who it involves, I'm not sure you'll want to hear it.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

- (GRUNTS)

- How'd you sleep?

Like Old Batman after the Mutant Leader b*at the crap out of him in Dark Knight Returns.

Except it was some rando with a pool cue.

If it makes you feel any better, Batman's human, too.

Here's the thing.

I shouldn't feel better.

At least not this quickly.

You want to tell me how that's possible?

Because from what I remember, I should be just this side of dead.

I've got a lot to tell you.

For starters, vampire blood heals people.

Thank God for that.

There's more.

I am not the only vampire there is.

Like, at all.

There used to be over a dozen of us in my old class.

You mean back at the Salvatore School?

No wonder Dr. Saltzman wanted you to make me forget.

Told you it was a lot.

But after what happened to you...

I'm through lying.

We're partners.

And you're about to know everything.

(SIGHS)

So, you think The Necromancer is behind all of this?

Well, the monsters are back.

Hope and Landon saw his dead body in the prison world, which means he should have come back to life.

So why didn't he?

He already did.

You think that he resurrected in our world?

Well, that's the theory.

You know, Hope told me something or someone is running around Mystic Falls wearing the hides of dead monsters.

Now, it's not exactly a crimson robe, but...

I can do a locator spell if you have something that belongs to him.

(DRAWER CLOSES)

I know you two have history,

(SIGHS): and this...

grimoire of his is full of...

Black magic spells.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little scared of that.

But... not of him.

I got this, Dad.

Ahsorum, dolusantum, infidictus.

_ What is that?

Where is he?

A funeral home.

(PLAYING JAUNTY TUNE)

(WOMAN CLAPPING)

You play beautifully.

And you are far too kind.

Sorry I've kept you so long.

Don't be.

I'm at your service.

You take all the time you need.

He looks so peaceful.

I'm ready now.

Thank you for everything.

It was my honor, Mrs. Vaspucci.

(CHUCKLES): It's "vas-pew-chi."

- Italian.

- Ah.

Ah, oh, an elegant language far beyond my grasp.

You know, it suits the lady.

(CHUCKLES)

If there's nothing else, I'll walk you out.

Perhaps you'd like to join me for lunch.

Robert would want me to be happy.

Uh, grief is a strange beast, Mrs. Vaspucci...

It's "miss" now.

And call me Sophia.

(LAUGHS): Sophia.

As I was saying, in my experience, the only thing that satiates that beast is time, and...

Oh, thank God.

I'm afraid the viewing's over.

JOSIE: That's okay.

We came here to see you.

You may look different...

- (GASPS)

- Oh, God.

But we'd recognize that voice anywhere.

We know who you really are.

LANDON: Oh, perfect timing.

I was starving, but you really didn't have to...

Oh, I did.

I mean, you know, with all the calories that you've been burning.

Which, speaking of, do you have any idea how much weight you were lifting?

Nope.

Like, pounds.

(CHUCKLES): Sweet.

That doesn't strike you as odd?

I mean, you're human now, Landon.

At least you're supposed to be.

So that's why you're worried.

- With good reason.

- With no reason.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I wish I had a better explanation, but I don't remember anything that happened to me in Malivore, so...

And I wanted you back so badly that I didn't notice any differences.

Wade actually did.

He had this crazy theory that you've changed.

Wade doesn't know me the way you do.

I should hope not.

Look, if you really want the truth, I've never felt better.

But that's only because you and I are finally good.

Because I remember everything that we've gone through to get here.

So please, just be here, with me.

I'm fine.

Well, you shouldn't be.

You should be covered in hives right now.

Landon's allergic to avocados.

And that burrito that you've been eating...

all the avocados.

See, the Landon I remember would be breaking out.

His throat would be closing up.

You know, I even...

I brought an EpiPen, in case I was wrong, but you're not gonna need it... and that is the whole problem.

Because you are not Landon.

Ad somnum.

(KNOCKING)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN DISTANCE)

- (SIGHS)

(DOOR OPENS)

Hi.

Have you seen Lizzie?

From the conversation I overheard this morning between her sister and their father, Elizabeth is currently off campus.

Well, that figures.

Thank you.

Do you need something?

Oh, um...

I'm pretty sure that there's something wrong with Landon.

Actually, no.

I know that there's something wrong with Landon.

I just needed a second opinion.

Then allow me to be that for you.

You can't.

You barely know him.

Well, then perhaps that will change once people start letting me in on what is going on around here, instead of trying so hard to conceal it.

You told me I belong at this school.

So if you need the help of a witch, tell me what I can do.

I wasn't looking for Lizzie because she's a witch.

A while ago, we had a friend named Rafael who got sick, and she and the coven ran some tests on him.

I was hoping that they might have some supplies left over I could use on Landon.

You are right, you did not come here for a witch.

You came here for a friend.

So we will get to the bottom of this together.

TED: It's all lies.

You truly expect me to believe that I'm some...

egotistical sap who calls himself The Necromancer?

Or that I harbor simultaneous vendettas against you, your school...

(LAUGHS) and a... and a mud man who goes by the preposterous name of Malivore?

(CHUCKLES)

All of which I hate so much that I've traveled across the very fabric of time and space, beyond the reach of death itself, to have my revenge?

Pretty much.

Ah.

My name is Ted.

I'm a simple man who does a job few wish to, but one that brings comfort to others.

Which conveniently involves being surrounded by dead people.

So, thanks for the Ted talk, but we don't think that this is a coincidence.

What I think is that you and your father need help.

Professional help.

Because I am not, nor will I ever be, a-a necromancer.

The.

The Necromancer.

Yeah, so you say.

Okay, "Ted," let's assume for a second here you are telling the truth.

Why are you in Mystic Falls?

I don't know.

I have amnesia.

Mm.

Hmm.

A few weeks ago, I awoke not far from here in a garish ice cream store uniform and...

no memories at all of how I came to this charming place.

But I am a firm believer in blooming where one is planted, so...

well, I'm making the best of it.

So you're not the source of the monster problem?

No.

Sorry for scuttling your psychotic agenda, but you'll have to come up with a plan B elsewhere.

Well, unfortunately, plan B involves you, too.

Now, there is a mystical artifact I'm in desperate need of answers about, and I think you could help me get them.

But it's gonna require you to become The Necromancer

- again...

- Bah!

(COUGHS)

He just bah'd.

No one genuinely bahs except The Necromancer.

This is madness.

This magical mumbo jumbo you speak of isn't even real.

What are you doing?

Ah.

(GROANING)

It burns!

I just siphoned you, which means you have magic.

He's in there, all right.

Although intentionally bringing The Necromancer to the surface sounds like something we'd live to regret, if we're lucky.

I must insist you leave.

Now.

Not a problem.

Besides, I have a school to run.

(CLEARS THROAT, UNZIPS BAG)

In the meantime...

just hold on to this for me until I get back.

(GASPS)

(WHISPERS): Oh, my God.

Do you have it from here, Jo?

I-I'll put up a shield spell.

Just in case.

Good idea.

Mwah.

- Uh...

- ETHAN: I got to hand it to you, you sure know how to drop a truth b*mb.

But why wouldn't you just tell me everything from the start?

I was trying to protect my friends.

But then you became one of 'em, too.

And I guess I never saw that coming.

- Why not?

- (EXHALES)

Because you're cool, E.

And I'm...

A freaking vampire, Milton.

A superhero in training.

There's nothing cooler than that.

I mean, yeah, I-I get that now...

Do you?

Because I say it all the time, but it's like you never believe it.

You know the deal.

Uh, great power, great responsibility.

That's it.

You lied because your friends are supernatural, and I couldn't understand what that's like.

I think I hate where this is going.

But I can.

As of information that I just learned ten minutes ago.

Vampires can turn people, right?

Then turn me.

TED: Heed my call.

Return to me, Robert.

Rise!

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

Adducere ad animam...

Oh, this is pointless!

It is if you keep butchering the phonetics.

Why are you making me do this?

(EXHALES)

Short answer?

We used to be black magic frenemies, which turned me into a Hot Topic supervillain.

So standing up to you feels like personal growth.

And the long one?

There is this girl that I really like.

But then werewolf drama, witch drama, and twin sister drama, and it all got screwed up.

So, making you the Lord of Limbo somehow weirdly feels like a less impossible fix.

I doubt that very much.

Don't.

Because at least you're talking to me.

So you've already tried hashing it out with this young lady?

- Of course not.

- (GRUNTS)

Being a glutton for punishment is more your thing.

What have you got to lose?

You exist in anguish now.

Yeah.

And I'm sure The Necromancer in you loves that.

Hmm, perhaps.

But it makes the Ted in me very sad.

You must tell her how you feel.

Because every day I see people in here doing just that.

But their loved ones can no longer hear them.

I'm not so sure about that.

Hmm?

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(DISTORTED): Dad.

♪ ♪ (GASPING)

Give me that.

(PANTING)

♪ ♪ Fire in the hole.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

(LAUGHING)

Dust to dust!

(LAUGHING)

- Oh, good.

You're awake.

- (GROANS)

There's nothing good about what you did to me.

(SIGHS)

Relax.

It was just a sleep spell.

Also not good, you brought a friend.

I am only here to help.

But I'm guessing I'm not gonna like what's in the bag, am I?

We have to run some tests on you.

Cooperation would be appreciated but isn't required.

Okay.

Then I appreciate if you two would get out of my way.

You can play doctor by yourselves.

Is spelling me into places your answer for everything?

This is different.

I usually do it to protect you from Malivore monsters, not because you are one.

You can't be serious.

I'm not a monster.

I'm Landon, your Landon, which means I write dumb songs about you and force you to watch movies you would never and...

What I care most about is whether or not you trust me.

Hope, I believe him.

And imprisoning him feels...

Like I said, you don't know him.

I don't know why that barrier stopped him, considering it only works on supernatural creatures.

Okay, well, maybe it's because I used to be a phoenix.

Or maybe it's 'cause I'm Malivore's son.

Or...

(SIGHS)

Maybe you're right.

Okay.

Well, if there's something wrong with me, I don't want anyone to get hurt because of it.

So...

test away.

I'm gonna need a blood sample.

Great.

You know how much I love needles.

Perhaps there is another way.

Do it.

What is that?

Mud.

Malivore mud.

♪ ♪

TED: I can't raise the dead.

Ooh.

You just did.

Briefly.

Then I choose not to.

Please respect my decision.

I can't.

Because I need you to do it again.

I need you to bring me the ghost of Leonardo da Vinci.

Wait, that's plan B?

If Da Vinci made the artifact, then he must know how and why it's connected to Malivore and everything that's been going on here.

My answer remains.

And between us, I've...

always been more of a Michelangelo guy myself.

Look, back when you were The Necromancer, you were always willing to cut a deal.

So name your price.

There is no price.

'Cause if what you told me about who I was is true, then...

oh, I don't wish to be that person ever again.

Look, people don't change.

Not deep down.

You're still the guy who laughs when Grandpa blows up.

(CHUCKLING)

See what I mean?

Perhaps I won't succeed.

But if I don't try...

I'm surely evil.

Then it's time for plan C.

Which always involves t*rture.

No.

Dad.

No.

Control issues, remember?

We'll find another way.

LANDON: I'm not a monster.

CLEO: Blue.

What does it mean?

That I'm telling the truth.

But I'm guessing you don't believe that, which means we need to establish a baseline.

Something we both agree on what the answer is, like what color is the sky or...

Do you love me?

Of course I do.

With every fiber of my being.

It's like I was made to love you.

Enough.

If that is true, then he is not a monster.

Well, he bleeds like one.

All that means is that he believes what he says.

Okay, then it's your turn.

Is there anything I can do to convince you that, no matter what's happened, I'm still Landon?

Not that I can think of.

I am assuming that means...

She's lying.

So tell us what it is.

I don't want to.

And I wish you didn't have to.

But we're running out of options, and I need to know what's going on as much as you do.

Great.

More needles.

It's my blood, which Landon has a strong reaction to.

That sounds very dangerous.

And brilliant.

And, yes, extremely dangerous.

Kind of like her.

I guess you inspired me.

No.

This is your doing.

Please reconsider.

This will only end with someone getting hurt.

Only a couple drops on your skin.

Okay, don't inject it.

Promise me, Landon.

I mean, whatever you are.

You had it right the first time.

Nothing's happening.

It doesn't make sense.

I know who...

(GROANS)

Hope, make it stop.

Landon.

Hold on.

Consilium.

(GROANING)

MG: This whole thing was a bad idea.

What are you talking about?

You wanted us to be partners, right?

Well, this is the only way that that works.

Yeah, that doesn't mean we should do it.

What we should do is tell Dr. Saltzman the truth.

Better late than never.

Fine.

But let's do it after you turn me into a vampire.

You'd have to die.

I'll jump off the falls or-or something.

Quick and painless.

Hey, you said the Salvatore School's having enrollment problems, and I could definitely help the football team and...

I'm never gonna talk you into this, am I?

I'm sorry, E, but take it from me.

Being a vampire... it's not about the powers you gain.

It's about all the stuff you lose.

And I would feel terrible if you lost anything else because of me.

Thank you.

No, MG.

Thank you.

For what?

For healing me last night.

Which means there's still vampire blood in my system, which is what you told me turns a human to a vampire.

And for the first time in forever, I know exactly what I'm supposed to do.

Ethan.

Please.

I'll see you on the other side, partner.

(WHOOSHING)

(GASPING)

(TRUCK DOOR CLOSES)

Get in here and help me.

I fear it is too late for that.

Give me your hair tie.

At least you finally believe him?

Fifty-fifty.

But he's not a monster.

And he passed your tests.

What else would he be?

Only one thing... Malivore.

But either way, he's still my boyfriend.

And if Malivore is using him as a vessel, then I need to figure out what that means for Landon.

And if he is Malivore, what then?

I have no idea.

He'd be in the one person on the planet that I can't bring myself to fight.

For what it is worth, I wish our circumstances were different.

Me, too.

Please go and get Dr. Saltzman.

Landon, are you in there?

Can you hear me?

Don't move.

You're hurt really bad, and you're gonna be in a lot of pain.

No, I don't feel anything.

(GROANS)

Then you're in shock.


No.

That's not possible.

'Cause I remember everything now, Hope.

And I'm not who you think I am.

In that case, I'm gonna go get something sharp.

You can't.

You don't want to hurt me.

Oh, I want nothing else.

Where's that truth orb when you need it?

Remember, you're still Malivore.

You know what my blood does to you.

If not, ask your arm.

Oops.

I'm not even a fully-activated Tribrid.

You know, if you k*ll me, you'll trigger my vampire side.

I'll just come back stronger than ever.

I'm counting on it.

Because I'm not Malivore either.

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

(GASPS)

Heroes are supposed to save people, not k*ll them.

You don't deserve a name or a costume.

A costume.

TED: Am I interrupting something important?

Oh, just me pouring another glass of inspiration, so, yes.

Oh, then, I'll get straight to the point.

You blame me for your current dilemma.

In part.

But the truth is, I am the one responsible.

I'm the theoretical adult who helped one of my students open the not-so-theoretical Pandora's box.

You truly love this school.

Oh, this is just a building.

But the kids?

Yes.

And until I stop Malivore, they'll never be safe here.

Well, then perhaps we should work on that together.

- Redeem ourselves.

- How?

You made it pretty clear you won't do what I need you to.

You've made it clear you don't believe I've changed.

So maybe we're both wrong.

In that spirit, if you'll pardon the pun...

Oh, you got to be kidding me.

Mr.

Leonardo da Vinci, joining us from the spectral plane.

(LAUGHS)

You trust me now?

I wouldn't go that far.

Baby steps, then.

There is, however, one complication.

Come continua a dire, non vi capisco per niente.

My gosh.

Perché sono qui?

You don't happen to speak Italian, do you?

HOPE: Answer my question.

(GRUNTING)

Because I'm officially mad.

- (YELLS)

- And you're running out of limbs.

(GRUNTS)

Last chance.

Who or what are you?

It doesn't matter.

I beg to differ.

Because I can't k*ll you until I'm certain I won't be murdering my boyfriend.

Landon is dead.

None of this would be happening if you had just accepted that.

Accepted me!

In case you hadn't noticed, I sort of suck at acceptance, so I'm gonna need some proof.

What is that?

CLEO: Luctus.

What does it mean?

Proof.

You're not Malivore, and he didn't make you.

I did.

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

(WIND WHISTLING)

(GRUNTING)

- What the hell, MG?!

- (GROANING)

MG?!

- Blursome.

- Oh!

Come on, buddy, hang on.

Hey, hey...

(GRUNTING)

Oh.

(PANTING)

- (GASPING)

- (SIGHS)

(PANTING)

Hey.

Totally blursome.

HOPE: At least we know what you are.

You're a golem.

Would have saved us both a lot of pain and suffering had you just come out and said it.

I didn't know.

And I wouldn't exist if you had been okay with the truth.

You're gonna cease existing in about a minute.

(GRUNTING)

Now I know why you've been so perfect.

You're an idealized version of Landon.

A puppet made from his remains and my memories of him.

Which means that someone else is pulling your strings.

Don't get up.

I'll come down.

(GRUNTS)

Hope, don't do this.

She was only trying to make you better.

ALARIC: So what does that even mean?

- Questo è ridicolo.

- I think what he's trying to say...

Non sono così maltrattato...

Is he needs to use the bathroom.

Ghosts don't pee.

Stavo dormendo e sono stato svegliato per questo!

ALARIC: Jed, I thought you said you spoke Italian.

Well, what I said is that I've been to Rome on vacation.

So, a little bit.

Espresso.

Prego.

- Pizza.

- Ah!

Great.

So if he's hungry or thirsty, we know who to call.

Well, maybe if you let us have Internet access at this school, we could translate what he's saying.

But until then, grazie, which means...

Even I know what that means, Jed.

Now get out of here.

Okay.

Good luck in there.

Tough room.

Dr. Saltzman, there's something wrong with Landon.

How wrong?

I suggest you bring your deadliest w*apon.

Cleo?

Que faccia bella.

You two know each other?

Siamo cresciuti così perché, amore mio?

ALARIC: Cleo.

How is this possible?

Cleo.

Cleo!

Ow!

HOPE: It was Cleo.

It's been Cleo this whole time.

LANDON: More like a collaboration.

Her spells, your memories.

Kind of like when Lucas and Spielberg...

- You can stop pretending you're Landon.

- (LANDON GRUNTS)

- Game's over.

- Why?

Everything you remember about Landon has been imbued into my being, and my very being is made from his remains.

Is that supposed to be comforting?

Because it's just gross.

Well, it's as close to him as you will ever be again.

So maybe consider that before you k*ll me.

You're not even alive.

You're a coping mechanism,

- and I don't need it anymore.

- Hope, think.

I'm practically immortal.

I don't get sick, I don't break down and die like humans do, and no one's trying to use me as a vessel.

You can be actually immortal if we activate your vampire side.

By which you mean die.

Oh, potato, po-tah-to.

Face facts, Hope.

Landon was human.

You were always gonna lose him one day like you have lost so many people.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

We can be together forever.

Okay.

But your forever is only gonna last another five seconds.

(LANDON GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

One down, one to go.

(GRUNTS)

I was just thinking that.

I thought you were my friend.

And I have tried to be.

I have gone to great lengths to give us each what we want most, but there's no longer time for pleasantries.

- (GRUNTS)

- This is how it must be.

Perhaps if you had cared about anything other than Landon, you could have seen it, too.

But, as I said, we are out of time.

Then I guess we figured out who the monster is after all.

You know nothing of who I am.

The things I have seen, where I come from.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

Perhaps I will tell you once you revive.

- Because I am not destroying you, Hope.

- (GROANS)

I am merely forcing you to live up to your potential.

To fulfill your destiny as the one who was able to open the artifact.

To end Malivore.

To free me.

You were in the artifact?

- Yes.

For centuries.

- (GRUNTS)

Save the explanation for after we fight.

(GRUNTS)

Since you know so much about me, then you know that there's no way in hell I'm going down without one.

Stubborn girl.

This was mercy.

But if you would prefer to be b*rned alive...

Seda...

TED: You really are a stubborn one.

- (SCREAMS)

- Knock that off.

You're distracting me, which is why I sent Da Vinci away.

You can't even read that thing.

Couldn't. But I can now.

And before you ask, I don't know how.

Perhaps with each dark art I perform, I become more the monster I used to be.

I guess we're lucky it's not written in Italian, huh?

Is there a spell in there to get us out or not?

Yes.

A powerful one, given the requirements.

A spell to dispel other spells.

A magical skeleton key, if you will.

Perfect.

What do we need?

Only two things.

This is the first.

Daemonium.

Accipe sacrificium tenebris!

Hey, we're in business.

All right, what's the second thing?

A human sacrifice.

I'm guessing you mean me, then.

Took longer than I expected, but...

I always knew it'd come to this.

(GRUNTS)

- (GROANS)

- Ted!

Ted.

Ted.

Ted.

Hang on, I'm gonna get you out of here.

No.

But you called me Ted.

I die knowing I'm no longer a monster in your eyes.

(BREATHING SHAKILY)

I've accomplished my mission in this life.

May you do the same.

(ALARM BEEPING)

(ALARM STOPS)

You use your magical powers to set this thing off?

No, I just shook it a bunch.

It's surprisingly heavy.

But I needed to talk, and I didn't think that chem lab was the place.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

So talk.

I'm really sorry about what happened with my sister.

Well, at least she had the guts to tell me she was a witch.

In my defense, it's not like you led with werewolf.

And in Lizzie's defense, she was only looking after me because she knew how much I liked you.

Like you, I mean.

Present tense.

And I'd really regret not saying that, so...

do whatever you want with that.

♪ Even to myself... ♪

I don't know what to do with any of this, Jo.

I get it.

That's why my dad built a school for people like us.

If you're willing to give it a sh*t, I think that it could really help you.

You mean the school you left?

Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Another one of my regrets.

But I think that I can find the courage to come back if you come with me.

♪ I put up a thousand walls... ♪

Are we done talking?

♪ All you get is what you see... ♪

Yeah.

Forever, I'm guessing.

♪ I don't think I'll ever be good enough ♪

♪ I don't think... ♪

Good.

♪ Don't you leave me alone Don't you leave me alone

♪ Won't you carry me home? ♪

Is that normal when you kiss a girl?

That's never happened before.

Damn straight.

♪ Don't you leave me alone ♪

♪ Won't you carry me home? ♪

ETHAN: I would have d*ed if it weren't for you.

I mean, I would have come back.

But still.

I really screwed this up.

- Join the club.

- (CHUCKLES)

I should have listened to Dr. Saltzman in the first place.

But I just needed a friend so bad, I couldn't see that he was right.

I wouldn't go that far.

Not because I want superpowers or whatever, but...

You're my friend, MG.

And I needed one just as much as you.

So, uh, why don't we just...

call it even and forget today ever happened.

From now on, I will just be your sidekick.

No more hero envy.

(CHUCKLES)

I swear.

There's, um...

There's just one problem with that.

We aren't friends.

We never have been, and you don't know anything about vampires or the supernatural world.

You are just a human being having a hard time.

You're going to fall asleep, and when you wake up, all you'll remember is that you drove out here to think about life.

And in the morning, you'll feel good about it and you'll move on.

And you will never try harming yourself again.

I'm gonna miss you.

E-ssential.

That was gonna be your superhero name.

Don't move.

- (CROSSBOW CLICKS)

- 'Cause one day, I'm actually gonna k*ll something with this damn thing.

It's okay.

I got this.

Look, whatever you are, I'm warning you, I've had kind of a day.

Where did you get that?

Take off your mask.

Landon?

In the flesh.
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