03x17 - Choose-a-Rooney

[bunniefuu]

- Wow!

- Mm-hmm.

Okay, so this is where we're gonna sh**t our season finale.

Yes, SkyVolt and Zaydock face-off in an epic battle here.

Spoiler alert: SkyVolt wins!

Oh!

What?

And Garrison escapes unharmed?

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Why not?

(Mouthing)

Hello, set of Voltage!

- (Chuckles)

Aw.

- Mm!

Shnookums, what are you doing here on my ice cavern set looking so fine?

Yeah, and in a tux, no less.

Double-Oh-Nimbus.

- Little lady.

- Hm?

Old Johnny Nimbus has weathered a lot of stormy days on his road to true love.

But ever since you came into my life, it's been nothing but sunshine in my heart.

- Aw.

- (Gasps)

Gemma, look at me.

Closer!

Oh!

Will you marry me?

Oh, yes!

I am gonna marry you so hard, Johnny Nimbus.

- Yes!

- (Liv panting)

Oh, my God!

Yay!

Congratulations!

Oh!

If I could help with the wedding at all, just let me know.

I have fierce party-planning skills.

Liv, that would be great.

Yeah!

Okay, perfect.

When were you two lovebirds thinking?

Ooh, I wanna get this little fireball off the market A-S-A-Possible.

(Both chuckle)

A quick wedding, okay, perfect.

Uh, what were you thinking?

Maybe summer, fall?

How about Sunday?

This Sunday?

How about we get hitched right here in the ice cavern set?

(Awkward giggle)

Um okay.

So you two wanna plan a wedding in under a week?

- Oh, no!

- Okay.

We want you to plan it.

Huh?

(Theme music playing)

Better in stereo Bet-bet-better in stereo - I'm up with the sunshine - Let's go - I lace up my high-tops - Oh no Slam dunk, ready or not Yeah, show me what you got - I'm under the spotlight - Holler I dare you, come on and follow You dance to your own b*at I'll sing the melody When you say yea-ah-ah I say no-oh-oh When you say stop All I want to do is go, go, go You, you, the other half of me, me The half I'll never be-e The half that drives me crazy You, you, the better half of me, me The half I'll always need But we both know We're better in stereo Maddie, your boyfriend has brought you the finest picnic the Dairy Belt has ever seen.

Chicken salad, tuna salad, potato salad, fruit salad.

If it's in salad, you will be feasting upon it.

Ooh!

Can't wait!

But, uh didn't hear macaroni salad.

- I'll raid the teacher's lounge.

- Ah!

There you go.

Hey, Mads.

Hi.

- I'm back.

- Yeah, wow, you're back.

Diggie went to Australia, and then, like a boomerang, he came back.

Ha!

For me.

I told him that I needed some time before I was ready to talk, and I guess my time's up.

So, thanks a lot, time.

- Diggie, I - Look, I'm sorry, Maddie.

Before you say anything.

I spent every day in Australia kicking myself for leaving you.

I want to get back together.

I'm not going anywhere this time.

I promise.

Diggie, I'm seeing somebody else.

And I really like him a lot.

And you and I both agreed that if the universe wanted us to get back together, it would let us know.

I'm sorry.

All right, let's do this.

Whoo!

Hey, I'm Josh.

Diggie.

Yeah, I know.

I don't love that Maddie's old boyfriend is back in town, but "Mosh" is rock solid.

We've had two great months together, and I've got a basket of mayonnaise-based salads.

That says commitment.

Bye, Diggie.

Bye.

Diggie!

What is up, buddy?

You know I got a new locker since you left?

You wanna check it out?

Of course you do.

- Link up, come on.

- Okay.

So let's talk wedding.

Johnny and I have put together the "Gembus" wedding wish list.

Okay.

Ooh!

Oh.

Number one on that list: Liv Rooney, serenading us.

Aw, you guys!

I would be honored to sing for you.

And number two: fireworks.

Lots of pyro.

I want our first kiss as husband and wife to be an expl*si*n of love!

It is like the words form in my brain and then come out of his mouth.

Amazing.

You're not gonna believe this.

I've got fireworks from last year's Fourth of July block party in the garage.

- Yes!

- Oh, Pete.

You b*rned down the Poundstones' gazebo.

And I learned a lot from that experience.

All right, um, have you guys thought about who is going to perform the ceremony?

- I was actually thinking - (Clears throat loudly)

(Coughs)

Ahem.

Apparently, my mother has something to say.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

No.

I'm actually an ordained minister and I would love to do it.

So thank you for asking.

Uh, well, Johnny and I did meet at your house, so that would be perfect.

Oh, well, if you insist.

Okay.

All right, so now that that is settled.

Um, have you thought about a caterer?

- Oh, yep.

- Mm-hmm.

We've already hired the best caterer in all of Stevens Point.

Oh!

(Gasps)

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah!

A little formal for breakfast, don't ya think?

All right.

You know how we're always excited for wedding food, but bummed that it only lasts one day?

I have a feeling I'm gonna like the rest of this conversation!

Behold, my patent-pending Parker Pockets!

(Joey gasps)

I have insulated pockets to keep the cold food cold, thermal pockets to keep the warm food warm, and leakproof pockets for leaky liquids.

Oh, I even have the pants lined.

Each leg has a ten-gallon capacity.

May I demonstrate?

Oh, I will never forgive you if you don't.

The thermal pocket keeps the pancakes toasty warm.

A touch of syrup because Well, it it's syrup.

Yeah.

And some ice-cold milk to wash it all down.

VoilÃÂ !

We are going to smuggle so much food from this wedding that we'll eat like kings for a month!

I have never been prouder to call you my brother.

(Processional music playing)

Wow.

(Giggles)

You look beautiful, Maddie.

Thanks.

(Giggles)

You, mister, do make a very handsome usher.

- Oh.

- (Gasps)

Look at that.

My hand fits perfectly in the crook of your arm.

May I show you to your seat?

Only if it's next to yours.

Whew!

Josh and I really need a day like today.

No Diggie.

No drama.

- Yo!

- Yeah?

Maddie, are these seats taken?

No, all yours.

Awesome.

Cool.

Dude!

I found us seats up front.

Diggie, you remember Maddie?

Hey.

Diggie?

Wh Huh?

Why are you here?

Diggie's my plus one.

I had to give "Miggie" one last sh*t.

If that meant being Joey's wedding bro, then so be it.

- Hey, Maddie.

- Hey.

Josh, have you met Diggie?

Everybody's met Diggie, Joey.

I was just trying to be polite, Mads.

Way to make it (Sing-songy)

awkward!

(Sighs)

Johnny and Gemma, are embracing a new life.

Let's embrace them as we pass around The Love Hug.

Hug the person next to you.

The Love Hug will build in strength as it travels around the room and comes back to Johnny and Gemma.

Pass all your love in that hug.

This is nice, but can we skip to the kissing part?

Okay.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Cut!

Where is my pyro?

Oh, Dad, the fireworks!

(expl*si*n)

I lit all the fuses, but only one went off.

Well, there may not be any pyro here at the alter, but there's plenty of pyro right here in Johnny's heart.

Hey, Weatherman, there's a smooch-front moving your way.

All right, let's get this party started!

Terry the Clown, fire up that Turkey Dance!

("Turkey Dance" playing)

Hey.

Hey.

So I saw that Joey brought Diggie.

(Scoffs)

How are you holding up with that?

Um this is t*rture.

I can't even make myself do the Turkey Dance.

And you know I bring the gravy.

That's actually why I came over here.

I figured you might need to talk.

Yeah, I just Josh and I are in this really great place.

And Diggie just keeps showing up and making everything super weird.

Well, did you ever think that it might be becoming weird because you still have feelings for Diggie?

No.

I mean, a little bit.

(Sighs)

I guess that we still have a sort of a connection.

Yeah, you two have a lot of history.

But I'm with Josh now, and Josh makes me so happy.

And isn't that the universe telling me that I should just be with Josh?

Maddie, who cares what the universe wants.

What does your heart want?

Maddie, we've got a problem.

What?

No, everything's fine.

Everything is not fine.

This Turkey Dance doesn't have enough gravy.

Let's go shake our tail feathers.

Ha!

And now for the truest union, the marriage between my yummy and your tummy.

Let the buffet begin!

Welcome to paradise, Munch.

Stay focused.

We start at the appetizers and move to the carving station.

Got it.

One for my plate, and ten for your suit.

And one for my plate and ten for your suit.

Whoa!

Artie's famous lobster bisque.

Ladle me up a pocketful!

The most beautiful words I shall ever hear.

Ah, our bride and groom.

(Laughs heartily)

Welcome to your glorious wedding buffet.

Prepare your taste buds for a cornucopia of flavor, unrivaled by anything outside the bright lights of Milwaukee.

What do you mean we're out of food?

This will not stand.

(Upbeat music playing)

(Groans)

That makes tonight a whole lot less uncomfortable.

Hey.

I have no idea what to say to him.

I've been thinking about what to say to her for the past two hours and all I came up with was, "Hey"?

(Sighs)

Nice sh*t.

Pfft.

Check this out.

Far table.

No, what?

Nothing but napkin.

All right.

Okay.

Lucky sh*t.

- No, that was amazing.

That was amazing.

- That was a lucky sh*t.

Check this out.

Centerpiece, table six.

I'm so sorry.

- Oh!

- Oh!

Unh!

Okay, all right.

I'm gonna up the game.

Table four.

Fancy hat.

Dig, you're gonna hurt her.

It's a roll.

(Gasps)

(Both laughing)

It's nice to hear you laugh again.

Yeah, you too.

Um You know what, I should really go find Josh.

I know my sister, and I can see it in her eyes that she still wants to be with Diggie.

And Josh is a really great guy but the heart wants what the heart wants.

Okay.

Liv, honey, we have a situation.

Grandma Nimbus lost her teeth at the buffet.

So grab some tongs and come quick.

Keep your eyes peeled for the buffet thief.

Hey, Artie.

Hm.

Clearly, you're troubled, ma petite amour.

I know what you're thinking before you even think it.

Ew, that is so not true.

Isn't it?

Cheesy crab popper?

(Sniffs)

Dang it!

That is what I wanted.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

What's goin' on?

Hm?

Ugh.

Maddie is pushing Diggie away because she thinks it's what the universe wants, but it's not what she wants.

I'm glad somebody else sees it.

I'm on Team Miggie.

The world doesn't get a vote.

Universe.

Whatever, clearly they're idiots.

Hey, uh, Artie, I'm leaving, okay?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Diggie, you can't leave.

Why?

Why?

Maddie has clearly moved on, so I have to too.

- It's - (Sighs)

Don't go, dear brother.

The Smalls men and the Rooney women are meant to be.

Together, we're the Smooneys.

You can't fight the Smooneys.

Plus, you're my ride home.

Yeah, Diggie, I saw you and Maddie together and clearly, there is still a spark there.

I know!

But, Liv, I've tried everything.

There is still one thing that you could try.

Abduction.

Grand gesture.

Fine.

Go with "grand gesture.

" But know we have a plan "B.

" Artie, we're tired of dancing and need to tickle our taste buds.

Then you've come to the right place.

Say hello to your cavalcade of cake.

(Guests gasping)

- Ho-ho, look at that!

- Wow!

I designed it for you, Johnny.

You'll have to let me know "weather" you like it.

Dang it, Parker, we forgot dessert.

I need those pie pops!

Munch, no!

That stick could puncture my - Oh, uh - Suit.

We found the thief!

Minions, seize him!

You'll never catch me!

(Squishing)

Or Or maybe you will.

Hello, friends and family!

We're gonna be doing speeches in just a minute, and I'm gonna get roasted real good by my best man, Terry the Clown.

(Horn beeps)

But first, Liv Rooney.

(Applause)

Hi, everybody.

So, um, Gemma and Johnny asked me to sing (Raspy voice)

but unfortunately, I am just losing my voice.

(Coughs)

(Normal voice)

See?

But thankfully, we have an amazing performer here with us tonight.

So Hi.

This is a song about love.

I tried on my own, I thought I'd get there Around and around But I was only getting nowhere Then you Came along and gave me something Something that I could believe in, trust in And I won't go back again As long as I have you I can live like there is nothing left to lose Unbreak every fracture in my heart Nothing in this world could ever tear this love apart They say you've gotta take the good with the bad I'd take it all as long as I have you (Cheers and applause)

Thank you.

Wow.

Maddie, you have never looked at me the way you look at him.

Josh Maddie, I saw it.

Clearly, you and Diggie have some unfinished business.

Yeah, we do.

Well, then you owe it to yourself to figure it all out.

I'm really sorry.

It's okay.

I'll be all right.

Who was that guy singing?

Who cares?

We're married!

I should probably tell you about my hefty credit card debt.

What's up?

Hey.

Hey.

I'm gonna go tell Diggie how great he sounded.

- Diggie.

- Diggie!

Both: No!

So 'sup?

Stuff.

Are you kidding me?

Well played, Universe.

That was well played.

(Sighs)

Well, we got the bride and groom off to their honeymoon.

Mom!

We didn't get enough to eat at the wedding.

Mama's got your back.

Thanks to my Parker Purse Pockets.

You got bisque?

Mom, you're the best!

I think I found Grandma Nimbus' teeth.

Artie: You can't fight the Smooneys.