04x03 - Scare-A-Rooney

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Liv and Maddie". Aired: July 2013 to June 2016.*
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Follows Identical twins as they navigate life which includes dealing with their parents that work at their high school.
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04x03 - Scare-A-Rooney

Post by bunniefuu »

Happy Halloween, BOOMS!

Or as Falcon calls it... party time!

Halloween is our favorite holiday. We love dressing up and scaring the snot out of our friends.

Christmas may have cheer, but Halloween has fear.

And candy!

But that doesn't rhyme, that doesn't... I'm sorry.

No way. You guys actually dressed up for Halloween?

That's so cute!

We don't do that at BOOMs.

But you are k*lling it in that falcon costume, Falcon.

I prefer the term "slaying it," but... I'll accept that.

What do you mean you don't dress up here?

Those guys are dressed up like a biohazard team.

Because they are a biohazard team.

Stay away from Mataya's locker. Her biology experiment went out of control.

Why are you dressed as a foot?

It's Halloween, and there's nothing scarier than a dirty foot comin' at ya!

Fear the fungus!

Parker, you're seriously into Halloween?

I'm shocked. I thought you were a man of science.

I'm also a man of awesomeness!

And Halloween is awesome.

We don't do trick-or-treating. But we do have a study session to get ready for midterms.

It's an all-night party on the fun train.

No offense, but when you're as smart as we are, Halloween's just a silly holiday.

What?

It's the holiday for frights and terrors.

You gotta admit, being scared is fun.

I will not. But you know what is fun?

Prepping my ant farm for space travel!

(Bell rings)

I'll race you to knowledge!

You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

That we ditch our costumes and try our best to fit in?

No... no. That we show Val how much fun being scared can be.

Falcon and Parker... Defending the honor of Halloween.

Don't do the Falcon voice when it's just you and me.

I'm sorry... I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

(Theme music playing)

♪ Better in stereo ♪

♪ B... B... Better in stereo ♪

- ♪ I'm up with the sunshine ♪

- ♪ Let's go ♪


- ♪ I lace up my high tops ♪

- ♪ Oh no ♪


♪ Slam dunk, ready or not ♪

♪ Yeah, show me what you got ♪

- ♪ I'm under the spotlight ♪

- ♪ Holler ♪


♪ I dare you, come on and follow ♪

♪ You dance to your own b*at ♪

♪ I'll sing the melody ♪

♪ When you say yea-ah-ah ♪

♪ I say no-oh-oh ♪

♪ When you say stop ♪

♪ All I want to do is go go go ♪

♪ You you, the other half of me me ♪

♪ The half I'll never be-e ♪

♪ The half that drives me crazy ♪

♪ You you, the better half of me me ♪

♪ The half I'll always need ♪

♪ But we both know ♪

♪ We're better in stereo ♪

Whoa-hoo, that is a lot of candy.

Yeah. Well, I mean it's the tooth fairy's job to keep the candy bowl full.

Oh... why's that?

It's really good job security.

SkyVolt is here!

I'm ready to take on Zaydock!

Dr. Rooney says diagnosis... awesome!

Well, from one SkyVolt to another, let me just say that you look amazing in that suit.

This is gonna be such a great Halloween.

Let me write you a prescription for some ghoulish fun.

Okay... so Mom?

No more doctor jokes.

Got it.

I got it. Time of death, : .

Oh, Karen and Maddie, thank you so much for handing out candy tonight.

Oh, it's our pleasure. Kids love candy.

Although... an apple a day keeps the doctor...

Okay, Mom, Mom, seriously, stop.

Aw, I hate that I always have to miss Halloween.

But the Mystic Crystal Convention is only one day a year.

So I'll see you tomorrow.

Oh... keep an eye out for the beachside spider sprayer.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, hold on.

You can't just like drop words like "spider sprayer" and then just walk out.

Oh, right. It's your first beachside Halloween.

Every year a prankster goes house to house surprising the person who answers the door by covering them in a spray string spider web.

And you just let this happen?

No, no, no, no, no, unacceptable, not in my house, I mean your house!

No one lets it happen, you just can't stop the beachside spider sprayer.

Every year the costume is different, so you never see it coming.

Okay, so then, how do you know it's even the same person?

The sprayer always has a pumpkin bucket.

Hmm. Well, that spider sprayer is messin' with the wrong witch, 'cause you know why?

This witch don't get webbed!

Bam!

What?

Good luck with that, Maddie. And joy and fulfillment to all.

Bye.

(Text ding)

Ohh!

Yes!

Okay, the tooth fairy just got some awesome news.

Ruby, you and I just got our reservation at the Demon's Dungeon tonight!

Is that the t*rture-chamber themed restaurant?

Yes!

I've always wanted to go there!

t*rture me while I eat, please!

Seriously, Ruby?

You would rather go out to eat dinner than go trick-or-treating?

Oh, it's okay. Mom took me trick-or-treating this afternoon with the six-year-olds. Super easy to elbow them out of the way for the good stuff.

If studying about radioactive isotopes on Halloween is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

Well, well, well... look who decided to drop the dress-up clothes and put on their scientist pants!

Don't mind us, just doing a simple groundbreaking teleportation project.

No, we're not. We are playin' a spooky prank.

Val is about to find out how much fun it is to get scared.

- Boo!

- Ahh!

Do it again, Parker, do it again!

- Boo!

- (Laughs)

Teleportation?

We're here to study science, not hokum.

It's not hokum... Finch. It's real.

I'm listening, Falcon.

Who's ready to witness scientific history?

Yeah, here's the thing. Due to the laws of science, teleportation is just a teensy bit impossible.

Well, then, get ready to be a teensy bit impressed!

As I... teleport this chicken!

I said get "a" chicken, not "some" chicken!

That was not clear in your text.

Falcon requires clarity.

Just go get us a live chicken!

You do not tell Falcon what to do. You suggest, and hope that he agrees.

Falcon agrees.

Wheeeee!

Wow!

Every restaurant should have a slide entrance.

I requested that they put us in the death-row section.

Oh, wow, Ruby... look at these amazing electric chairs.

(Pretending to be shocked)

Thank you for bringing me here.

This is gonna be the greatest Halloween ever.

Good evening, victims. My name is...

Liv Rooney.

Well, that's really weird, I thought I was Liv Rooney.

Liv, it's me.

Oh, I'm so sorry... do I know you?

We acted together.

On "Voltage." We did?

Do you recognize me now?

(Roaring)

You're Zaydock, SkyVolt's sworn enemy!

Actually, I'm not Zaydock anymore, I'm just Henry the waiter.

Henry!

What've you been up to?

Well... not playing Zaydock on "Voltage," that's for sure.

Well, right... because SkyVolt k*lled you.

Zaydock was supposed to come back to life.

But when... Liv decided to leave the show, that storyline went right out the window.

Oh.

Oh, indeed.

So... what brings you to LA, Liv?

Uh... funny story, um, I... am actually living here now.

But you decided to quit "Voltage" because you didn't want to move to LA.

Changed my mind?

So I guess you're just a struggling actor like me now, huh?

(Laughs nervously)

That's an even funnier story.

I am actually the lead on a new show.

It's called "Sing it Louder."

How great for you.

Hey, Ruby?

Um... so this night just became... really awkward for me.

Are you okay if we leave early?

What?

No, we can't leave.

We haven't had the full t*rture experience.

Right, see, that's kind of what I'm trying to avoid... (Laughs nervously)

It's very clear to me that Henry hates me, and he blames me for losing his job, so...

He's just playing a character. Here, read the menu.

The t*rture King has been living in the dungeon for years, and is full of rage and hate. So he doesn't hate you, he hates all of us.

Here's your bread, ladies.

And your Kn*fe!

How fun is that?

So super fun!

Okay, you expect me to believe you can transport a chicken from this pod over to that pod.

Never gonna happen.

Oh... it's gonna happen.

This is real deal teleportation, girl.

Drink it in!

Your hero has returned... with... the chicken.

(Oohs and ahs)

Have you guys never seen a chicken before?

Not one held by Falcon.

All right... it's teleportin' time!

They call me insane. Mad!

But I will show them!

I will show them all!

Muahahahahaaaa!

(Buzzing noises)

Now... let's see if it worked.

It worked!

The chicken teleported!

And you didn't think it was possible.

I still don't think it's possible.

It's not possible.

The pods have fake backs and there are two chickens.

But we're setting up the big scare.

I can't believe the "geniuses" are fallin' for this.

It's like believin' that fried chicken comes from real chickens.

It does, Munch.

My god. I'm a monster.

Oh... what's with the marshmallows, hon?

Okay, so I have figured out the best way to combat the beachside spider sprayer.

I am going to strike first... so that I throw him off guard and he can't web me.

(Doorbell rings)

Spider sprayer!

Take that, spider sprayer!

Oh... no pumpkin buckets.

Happy Halloween!

I'm so sorry... please don't egg our house.

Here you are, young lady. And here's yours...

Liv Rooney... superstar!

And the reason I now live with my grandmother.

Okay, can we please get out of here now?

What?

No, the t*rture King show's gonna start soon.

He's really starting to scare me.

You're supposed to be scared. It's the Demon's Dungeon, not the Cuddle Castle.

Okay, no, no, Ruby, stop, I'm sorry, this is way too weird. Let's go!

Relax!

It's not real poison, it's lime coconut fizzy water.

Yeah...

Oooh... maybe you're right, I'm, I'm really being ridiculous right now.

I'm just gonna take a second, you know, breathe, relax...

Whoo, Henry is not trying to k*ll me.

Henry's trying to k*ll me!

Oh, Ruby, can you please come over and help me get out of these things?

Sure.

Liv Rooney!

Look at you... all defenseless and... unable to defend yourself.


Henry's here. You're okay.

Of course she's okay. Because she's the star of the show.

You got picked to be in the show?

Henry's right. You are lucky.

Who wants to see me make Liv Rooney suffer?

Crowd: Liv!

Liv!

Liv!

Liv!

Let's take her to the stage!

So tell me, Falcon... have you ever held a pig?

As a matter of fact, Finch... I have.

Yes!

What haven't you done?

Well... I've never littered.

I find it... distasteful.

So, are you convinced, or do you want me to teleport something else?

Please!

You didn't teleport anything!

It's a trick!

Face it, Parker... you're a chicken tricker!

I knew Val would be the toughest to fool.

But what she didn't know, is that she was up against Dr. P.

Granted, that's just an honorary title, but she did not know that!

You really don't believe me?

Here... you can press the button.

You're on.

One condition, though. You have to read this... it's tradition.

Fine. They called me insane, mad, but I will show them, I will show them all...

evil laugh.

No, no-no, no, you're supposed to do the evil... you know what, just forget it, just press the button!

- W-wait, wait!

- No, Joey, get outta there!

Is everyone okay?

Find your buddy!

What happened?

Is Falcon okay?

(Gasp)

Oh, no... I must've teleported him with the chicken!

What if it scrambled their DNA?

Should we check the other pod?

We have to know. For science.

And I have to know. For Falcon.

Okay, I'm not sure we want to know what's in that pod.

You're being ridiculous. Give me that.

I'll open it.

Falcon, are you in there?

(Clucking)

(Screaming)

- Happy Halloween!

- Happy Halloween!

Say what, now?

You just got scared, Halloween style.

Wh... This was a prank?

So, Falcon, you're okay?

I was worried.

Wait... this whole thing was a joke?

Gotcha. How do you feel?

My senses are heightened... my heart's in my throat...

I've never felt more alive!

So, um... would you say that you had fun?

I did!

I guess I was wrong... being scared can be fun.

So says... Falcon.

You opened our eyes, Falcon.

Please, Finch... it was Falcon's pleasure.

Uh, I opened your eyes, too. I set up the machine, rigged the lights, and even came up with "Bgawk!"

He was gonna say "Cockadoodle Falcon"!

That would've been even better.

Cockadoodle Falcon!

Cockadoodle Falcon!

Cockadoodle Falcon!

You have got to be kidding me!

Prepare to see Liv Rooney in the performance of her life!

Or should I say... her death?

(Evil laugh)

Soon, the life of Liv Rooney will rest in the razor's edge of my a*.

Or in the forgiving hands of a fellow actor!

Any last words before I send you to your maker?

I will get you a part on my new show.

Really?

Oh, that would be great!

Yes... yeah, yeah, yeah, anything, just please don't k*ll me.

Don't k*ll you?

Liv, you don't think this is real, do you?

Um... kind of?

See, you seemed like really, really upset that I sort of, kind of ruined your life.

Liv, even though you destroyed my career with your whimsical decisions, this is all part of an act.

I would never actually hurt you.

Oh, of course you wouldn't.

I don't know why, I just like, I got this crazy idea in my head. I just...

- Hey, are we good?

- Yeah, we're good.

Great.

Prepare to die!

SkyVolt is here!

Leave my cousin alone!

Ow!

I'm sorry, Liv!

I should've believed you right away!

I won't let him k*ll you!

Ruby!

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby!

Ruby!

He's not trying to k*ll me.

Really?

Yeah.

Then I've crossed the line.

No, no, keep goin' kid, the audience is eating this up.

And I can use the tips.

(Growling)

You don't have the guts to web me, spider sprayer!

Maddie?

Honey, I know that screaming at children has become a Halloween tradition, but I think it's time to call it a day.

No, no, no,.. no, Mom. You don't understand.

I have figured out how to stop the spider sprayer.

So, so I need to make sure that I see that he has the pumpkin bucket before I strike, and see, this, this rope, is gonna help me open the door from a safe distance, and then once I am sure that it is the spider sprayer, I am going to unleash a smell that not even a mother can love.

- You don't mean... - I do.

Joey and Parker's entire laundry hamper is rigged to dump all over

- that porch!

- Oh!

(Doorbell rings)

Spider sprayer!

(Both gasping)

- Pumpkin bucket!

- Pumpkin bucket!

Trick-or-stink!

Take that, spider sprayer!

Bam!

What?

Oh!

Aunt Dena!

I am so sorry, I thought that you were the spider sprayer.

W... Why are you not at the Mystic Crystal Convention?

I made that up. I'm an adult that likes to go trick-or-treating, but I'm ashamed to admit it.

Oh, that's... well, yeah, that's really weird.

Yeah, Dena, you didn't have to lie to us, you could've told us where you went.

Yeah... I guess I just got... caught up... in my... web of lies!

Ah, well... you may have won Halloween, Aunt Dena, but I will get you back at Thanksgiving, so...

I hope you like gravy.

Muahahahaha!
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