04x14 - Voice-A-Rooney

[bunniefuu]

Dude!

I just heard the car!

Oh, they're home!

Okay, okay.

Liv just had throat surgery.

Don't act nervous, 'cause it's gonna freak her out.

But don't act like, not nervous, because then...

you know...

that'll make her think we don't care, you know what?

You can't handle this.

You should go.

- Yeah.

Yeah, you're right, I am a mess.

- Yeah.

Hey, how did it go?

She can't speak yet, but the doctor said the surgery went very well.

Having surgery on my vocal nodes was the scariest day of my entire life.

And after a few weeks, I was allowed to talk again.

And then the long road to recovery began.

(Groaning)

Seriously?

When I do this with chopsticks at a restaurant, you make me go sit in the car.

This is an exercise to strengthen Liv's vocal cords.

Mmm.

(Groaning)

It was weeks and weeks of really hard work, and I still had no idea if I'd ever be able to sing again.

The doctor said that there was no guarantee that my voice would ever be the same.

Liv, we have some exciting news.

But the doctor says you should not strain your voice, so I brought Joey here to squeal for you.

My high-pitched birdy voice is finally useful.

What's going on?

Some producers want to meet with you about starring in a Broadway musical!

(Joey squealing)

Wait, Broadway?

That's my dream.

I don't even know if I can sing yet.

The doctor says you are ready to try to sing.

So I scheduled a session for you with Tracy Okahatchee.

(Joey squealing)

See?

See, I don't even know who Tracy Okahatchee is, but it sounds super exciting.

Tracy Okahatchee is the top vocal coach in the world.

(Exhales)

I guess it's time for me to try to sing again.

- I'm gonna sing again!

- (Joey squealing)

(Theme music playing)

♪ Better in stereo ♪

♪ B... B... Better in stereo ♪

- ♪ I'm up with the sunshine ♪

- ♪ Let's go ♪

- ♪ I lace up my high tops ♪

- ♪ Oh no ♪

♪ Slam dunk, ready or not ♪

♪ Yeah, show me what you got ♪

- ♪ I'm under the spotlight ♪

- ♪ Holler ♪

♪ I dare you, come on and follow ♪

♪ You dance to your own b*at ♪

♪ I'll sing the melody ♪

♪ When you say yea-ah-ah ♪

♪ I say no-oh-oh ♪

♪ When you say stop ♪

♪ All I want to do is go, go, go ♪

♪ You you, the other half of me, me ♪

♪ The half I'll never be-e ♪

♪ The half that drives me crazy ♪

♪ You you, the better half of me, me ♪

♪ The half I'll always need ♪

♪ But we both know ♪

♪ We're better in stereo ♪

All right, scientists!

You've reached the final four of Mars Madness!

Welcome to BOOMs.

My name is Parker.

And I'm Val.

We're Team Pal!

I thought that you hated that name.

A girl can change her mind.

Mars Madness is a contest to find future astronauts.

The winners get to spend next school year in a Mars bio-dome.

This national competition has been whittled down to the top four teams.

And now Parker and I are going to whittle it down to one.

Well, like the one meaning us.

I hope that's obvious.

I'm better at science than bragging.

There are only three teams here.

Where's the team from the Midwest?

(Keytar fanfare)

Hello...

I'm Artie Smalls, and welcome to my coronation, soon to be losing teams.

Ready for a scientific beatdown, Parker?

And... long-haired teen sidekick girl?

Parker's my sidekick, loofah-head!

So Artie... which one of your minions is your partner?

Ms. Karsch, announce my partner!

(Snaps fingers)

You did not just snap at me!

Sorry, please announce my partner.

Our final participant, Evan Poulos.

(Kazoo fanfare)

- Evan?

- Hey!

You're with Artie?

You left me.

And having my bestie move away limited my social options.

I've kept this translucent-skinned boy out of the sun and in my shadow.

I'm a minion now.

We're gonna win this contest and go to the red planet, where our hair provides natural camouflage.

Team-Ginger-for-the-win burn!

Oh...

kay.

Who's ready for an ice cream sundae bar?

Dibs on tutti-frutti!

Evan's my friend.

But to achieve my dream, I have to b*at him.

Evan might be your friend, but he is here to win.

He's a dream-k*lling assassin!

Parker, Parker, Parker!

They have rainbow sprinkles!

This party's gonna be bananas!

Which they also have!

Okay, he's adorable.

But you still have to destroy him.

(Willow laughing)

Well, thanks again for coming, Willow.

- You were hilarious.

- Thank you.

My friend is a stand-up comedian.

You get paid to be funny.

Like a birthday party clown.

(Meows)

(Gasps)

Oh...

hi, little cutie pie.

Hi, come here.

Do you need a home?

Yes, I do.

Okay!

Oh.

He shall be known as Dwayne "The Kitty" Johnson.

Yeah, uh, Dwayne's a girl.

Oh.

Okay.

Well, then, she'll be known as Stacy.

Some lemon tea for the throat before Tracy Okahatchee gets here, and you sing, for the first time since surgery.

I'll just sit over here quietly.

Not joining in...

♪ My destiny ♪

(Continues singing indistinctly)

Okay, Mom, Mom, Mom.

I'm super nervous.

I won't know until I sing if my voice is the same, and I kinda don't want anyone in the room in case it isn't.

- So...

- Oh!

Sure.

Very well.

I'll leave you with the tea that I brought you...

and the throat I made in my womb.

♪ My destiny ♪

(Doorbell rings)

Liv Rooney, Tracy Okahatchee is here to heal your voice.

I see music in your eyes that is dying to be released from your mouth.

Are you ready to sing, girl?

I am!

And Ms. Okahatchee, thank you so much...

Oh, hush!

Send me a gift basket.

I like chocolate and cashews.

- Now, let's get started.

- Oh!

Ah!

Your neck is as tight as a lasso on a guinea hog.

Please repeat: big, broccoli, bushels.

- Big, broccoli, bushels.

- Big, broccoli, bushels.

- Cookie, crumb, cart.

- Cookie, crumb, cart.

- Hey, he, ha, ho, who.

- Hey, he, ha, ho, who.

- My mother, Mary, Marvin...

- My mother, Mary, Marvin...

- Pickle, pizza, pepperoni.

- Pizza, pepperoni, pizza pickle-roni!

For the next exercise, I'm gonna need your tongue!

- Really?

- Tongue, please.

This exercise stretches the muscles around the vocal cords.

- Okay.

- Now, I want you to start at a middle C,

- and geeheehee your way down the scale.

- Okay.

- Geeheehee,

- Geeheehee,

- geeheehee, geeheehee,

- Geeheehee, geeheehee,

- geeheehee, geeheehee,

- Geeheehee, geeheehee,

- geeheehee, geeheehee,

- Geeheehee, geeheehee,

- geeheehee.

- Geeheehee.

Wunderbar!

Or as we say in Nashville, yee-haw!

- Your throat is warm.

Let's sing.

- Yay.

Oh, sing?

Really?

It seems so soon!

So soon?

The world has waited long enough to hear you sing.

I think we should start with "My Destiny."

From your live show.

I watched with Adele.

Tears.

Both of us.

Wait!

Adele heard me sing?

You know Adele Sugarbaker?

Small world!

One power ballad, coming up.

- Okay.

- Make me feel it.

(Playing the piano)

Now I want you to imagine that you're that Broadway stage, opening night.

That was your cue, hon.

(Playing piano)

And there it was again.

- Is everything all right, hon?

- No...

I'm sorry, no, we should stop.

I can't do this.

Well, you're not gonna know unless you try.

I know, but, if I try and then I can't, I'm gonna know, and I don't think I'm ready to know.

I'm... really scared, and I'm really sorry, I'm sorry.

So what do we do now?

I'm sure I don't know.

Why do you think Liv didn't sing?

Tell me... twin.

Well, uh, I think Liv is afraid that she's gonna be a nobody if she can't blow the roof off a theater.

I understand fear.

Every time I see a moth, I black out and wake up in a pool of my own urine.

We had to let Liv know that she is a somebody no matter how she sings.

And Tracy couldn't really help Liv but I knew who could.

- Is it me?

- Ew!

Ew, no, no, ew, you go away!

Okay!

This is it!

If we win this event, we're going to the bio-dome!

Let's do this!

Team Pal!

- Yeah, I decided I don't like it anymore...

- Okay, just make up your mind!

Listen up, junior geniuses!

Imagine you're on Mars and suddenly you lose contact

- with Earth.

- Oh.

Artie, pretend your crew abandoned you.

That should be easy.

Nothing's easy for me.

I have issues.

Are you two done?

I've got a whole thing here.

In order to survive, you must send a message to Earth by building a transmitter using the spare parts in your box.

When it's received, your light bulb will light up.

What will you do?

What will...

you do?

First message received wins.

Let the madness begin!

Okay...

you work on the antenna, and I'll build the transmitter.

Team Ginger has a rooting section?

Not fair!

I should not be penalized for being adored!

Are you kidding me?

Hey, Parker.

Evan, I can't talk to you, I have to focus on b*ating you.

Okay.

How about just a pat on the back for good luck?

Uh...

that was my neck.

Guess I'm growing.

Are you taking your minions to Mars, too?

There's not enough oxygen.

They only breathe when I tell them to!

(Snaps fingers)

(Both inhaling)

Problem solved.

Why aren't you working on the transmitter?

I'm sorry, I'm just so itchy, I don't know what's going on.

You're covered in hives!

Is this what happens to you in pressure situations?

I can't go to space with this!

Feelin' scratchy, Parker?

Artie invented a cream that causes itching.

And I secretly applied it to your neck.

Boo-ya!

Evan, I thought that you were my friend.

And he thought you were his!

But then you left!

And I taught him that it's better to be feared that loved!

Oh, right, breathe again.

(Both exhaling)

That was the ocean, Stacy.

But stay outta there, because sharks live in there, and they think you are delicious!

(Kissing cat)

Joey, honey... do you remember when you brought Stacy home, and I told you not to get too attached or go overboard with her?

I remember you talking while I was holdin' this kitty.

Lemme show you something.

Okay.

Okay, well...

I know this seems like a lot,

- but I play with all this stuff, too.

- Okay.

Joey...

I saw a flier for a missing kitten.

It's Stacy.

No...

no...

that's not Stacy.

Honey, I know you love her, but she's not yours.

And if you lost her, you'd want whoever found her to call you, too.

Yeah...

fine.

Call them.

(Exhales)

Grandma's being so unreasonable.

Oh, come on, let's go take a nap in the sink.

Hey, Tracy...

why are we here?

Because this...

is where you sang your heart out for all of the world to see on live television, and where you will sing again.

Okay.

Well...changing where I am doesn't make me any less scared.

How about changin' who you're with?

Maddie, raise that curtain, sugar.

Yeah, no, I know, I'm...

I'm...

I'm sorry, I'm not really sure which one it is.

Yes!

Found it!

Two, three, four!

- ♪ The Dream! ♪

- ♪ The Dream! ♪

We tried to write a theme song, but... that's as far as we got.

You guys... what are you doing here?

Maddie called.

She said our friend needed help.

So now your band's here.

What are we singing first?

I'm nearly done with the antenna.

Are you done with the transmitter yet?

Dude...

Team Ginger's almost finished!

Hey... every time I put a piece together, I have to stop and scratch.

Can you please help me?

Joey gave me the fleas once, but this is way worse!

I can't build an antenna and a transmitter at the same time!

Well, I can't scratch and build a transmitter at the same time.

Who am I kidding?

I give up.

Parker's giving up!

Victory is ours!

Artie told me that when I defeated my enemies, I'd feel a sense of satisfaction.

All I feel is the crummies.

I don't think I wanna do this.

Minions don't think.

Minions only do.

Now get back to minioning!

Defeat your enemy!

He's not my enemy.

He's my friend.

And I'm no minion!

My name is Evan!

Get back to work, Dr. P.

You build, I'll scratch.

- What are you doing?

- Righting a wrong.

I'm sorry I betrayed you.

Now connect that motherboard!

(Tense action music)

Hit it, Val.

Parker and Val win Mars Madness!

We're going to the bio-dome!

- Go Team Pal!

- Okay, now you're just messing with me.

Hey... thanks for helping us, Evan.

No problem.

It's the least I can do for my friend.

This is a travesty!

Minions!

To the pier!

I need funnel cake to heal my wounds.

Former minions are not invited!

Oh, it's so great to see you guys!

But I'm sorry.

I can't... rock out right now.

Oh, you'd rather... do a quiet song, that's cool.

No, um...

Cutie pie, help us with the piano.

Why does he assume he's "cutie pie"?

You're cute, too.

Mind if I talk to Liv, who I flew , miles to help?

Fine.

But we're coming back to this.

- Liv?

- Yeah?

What's goin' on?

Why won't you sing?

Well...

I really want to try.

I don't know, you guys, I mean...

singing is such a huge part of who I am, and if I can't sing the same, who am I?

You're a girl whose love for singing brought this band together.

I love playing music with you.

Not just because you sounded great.

Because we were having fun.

Don't give up on something you love just because you're afraid.

Yeah, Liv, I never even tried to play music before I heard "What a Girl Is."

Your voice inspired me.

And it's not because of how you sounded, but what you had to say.

And I think you have more to say.

(Grunting)

All right.

This was super heavy, and these two... were no help.

We're musicians, not movers.

Thank you.

So... where do we stand?

Liv doesn't know who she is if she can't sing well.

Do you wanna know who you are?

You're Liv Rooney.

And you're awesome.

Okay?

I know you're scared, but sometimes you just... have to take a leap of faith.

Give it a sh*t.

Yeah, Liv... aren't you the girl who told me that fear is just another reason to try harder?

All of your friends are here for you.

Why don't you just try?

Okay, I'll try.

Yes!

I'm such a good coach!

Oh...

I know the perfect song.

(Playing piano)

♪ Battle through the hard times, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Be grateful for the good ones, whoa ♪

♪ Every time you fall down, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Just sing in the key of life ♪

♪ You're never out of tune if you sing in the key of life ♪

Whoo!

Liv!

Come on, that was amazing!

(Squealing)

I can sing!

I can sing!

Oh, thank you so much, I really love you guys.

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

Now, Liv, if you do end up on Broadway, you better invite me to opening night.

- Broadway?

- Yeah...

there are some producers who um...

called me to talk to me about a musical.

Whoa.

Amazing!

That's so cool.

Liv, this is your dream.

I know.

I know, and now that my voice is back, that could actually happen!

Oh, um...

I hate to do this.

I have to go to the airport.

Okay.

I don't know if you know, but I go to NYU now.

So if you wind up in New York, give me a call.

Okay.

- Ooh!

- Ooh!

Stop it!

Stop it!

(Camera shutter clicks)

Okie-dokie.

Before your real family comes, I'm gonna make a lifetime of memories with ya.

All right, now let's get a picture of you opening your Easter basket, eh?

Joey, I just spoke with Stacy's owner.

What'd they say about me visiting her, Mom, can I, can I, please?

Well...

um...

it's complicated.

Where is my precious kitty?

Christian, use your delicate hands to comfort her.

What?

Artie, no way, she's your cat?

Taylor left her carrier unattended at the airport.

I guess "never let her out of your sight" means nothing!

I've been worried sick.

Joey...

thank you for taking care of her.

I owe you one.

It was my pleasure.

Goodbye.

Oh, I'm really gonna miss you, Stacy.

Stacy!

(Laughs)

Ridiculous!

There's only one name for something as beautiful as you.

Her name is Liv Rooney.

Minions, to Wisconsin!

(Snaps fingers)

Oh... there's one more thing, Joseph.

Tell the world Artie Smalls...

Artie: I've got issues.