01x11 - Frances Patrol

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Doom Patrol". Aired: February 2019 to present.*
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A team of traumatized and downtrodden superheroes comes together to investigate weird phenomena.
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01x11 - Frances Patrol

Post by bunniefuu »

[Larry]

Previously on Doom Patrol...

-Who are you, again?

-The Beard Hunter.

[Ernest]

Your facial hair connects me directly to the brain stem.

-You're not in control.

-[Vic]

Grid, stop!

Careful!

[Rita]

What the hell happened back there?

[Vic]

Ever since my reset button got pushed, something's been wrong in my system.

The rest of the team can't know.

They'll worry I'm turning into that psychopath in Jane's painting.

[Jane]

If you want your life back, why don't you just call her?

-[Cliff]

Who?

-[Jane]

Your daughter.

[Cliff]

What the hell is she doing with Bump?

-[screams]

-[bang]

There's supposed to be a man there.

It's like he just walked out of the comic book.

[John]

I have no say in our relationship, Larry.

[Larry]

Because I'm the one who actually has something to lose.

[John]

Larry, you there, bud?

It's John.

-I'll be right here.

-Go.

[Rita]

Has anybody seen her like this before?

-[Cliff]

How do we pull her out?

-[Larry gasps]

[ballad playing on radio]

[gasps]

[car door closes]

-[knocking on door]

-[man]

Open up.

Captain Trainor, are you in there?

Who wants to know?

m*llitary police.

[doorknob rattling]

Keep your hands where I can see 'em.

You assh*le!

[John chuckles]

-[keys clatter]

-Had you going there.

[both chuckle]

[both moan]

How'd you find me?

Easy.

A motel in the middle of nowhere.

-Not a soul in sight.

-[Larry chuckles]

Now, you want to tell me what the hell this is?

Where we are?

[sighs]

-Do we care?

-Hell, no.

[both breathing heavily]

["Moon River" playing on radio]

-Smell this.

It smells like heaven.

-[sniffing]

-Smells good.

-[John laughs]

-To us.

-[glasses clinking]

And whatever the hell this is.

And to whatever the hell this is.

Okay, so, the truck, that made sense.

That was our place.

But this, we've never been here before, so it's not a memory.

Fever dream, maybe?

Oh.

Oh.

[scoffs]

I'm dead, aren't I?

[chuckles]

Are you dead?

What are you talking about?

Far from it.

I used to drive by this place when I was going up the coast, and I told myself, "Someday, I'm going to go there with John Bowers." I guess today is someday.

So this is how you wanted it.

-[chuckles]

-Are you happy now?

It's perfect.

-Let's get to it, then.

-Uh-huh.

-[John sighs]

-Hey.

Careful.

Don't choke on it.

Look at you, mother-hen.

Why do you care so much?

Because I love you.

You know, I always wanted to-- [gasps]

[Cliff distorted]

What the hell happened here?

[Rita and Vic distorted]

Long story.

[Vic distorted]

What happened in there?

[Cliff distorted]

Not my story to tell.

-I get it.

-[Cliff]

The good thing is, she's back.

And...

I think she's back.

[Rita]

Are you okay, Larry?

Yeah.

Take me back, pal.

Please.

Please, take me back.

[scoffs]

[newscaster on TV]

Protesters have gathered outside the armed robbery trial of Steve Larson, also known as Animal Vegetable Mineral Man, who, just yesterday, took the stand and said that he would rather, quote, "take a b*llet" than testify against his alleged partner in crime, his dinosaur head.

In other bizarro news, Florida man Bump Weathers was massacred by a giant alligator this weekend and d*ed in a tragic accident.

Weathers was a long time pit crew boss to '80s car racing phenom Cliff Steele.

Locals say that Weathers' bar, Salty Bump's, is the hub of Cypressville, and he shall be missed.

Bump is survived by his daughter, Clara.

-[voice 1]

You're creating disharmony.

-[voice 2]

You're the primary.

[voice 3]

Listen.

You're the one on top.

-[voice 4]

An equilibrium.

-[voice 1]

The more things remain out of balance...

-[voice 5]

There are rules.

-[voice 1]

..the more all of us are vulnerable.

I once took a respite at Rockhaven Sanitarium in Glendale.

The food was horrendous.

But Marilyn Monroe's mother -was my roommate.

-Your point?

It's essential to rest the mind.

Is that what you think I was doing?

-Resting my mind?

-The point is, now that you're up and about, I feel that you owe me an apology.

[scoffs]

Not since I understudied Bette Davis, have I been so monomaniacally manipulated, mind-controlled, and emotionally abused.

Karen!

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Karen's cray-cray.

Yup.

That's it?

[scoffs]

That's your apology?

Do I look like I'm living in a late '90s rom-com, Rita?

Why?

Because I'm not f*cking Karen!

If you happen to see her-- Sure.

Mmm-hmm, except, no, because what I'm trying to do now is stay out of my head and find the Chief, which is why I called [yells]

a team meeting!

Hello!

[Cliff]

Jane called this meeting?

Yes.

Jane call meeting.

All right, where's Vic and Larry?

Oh.

[yells]

Thanks a lot, guys!

[beeping]

[Vic]

We're in.

-[keyboard clacking]

-Hey, Grid, I'm here.

[beeping]

Probably because I removed your operating system from my body, big guy.

Huh.

Maybe it's because you're still rebooting.

Ever since we hit SOS and my arm regenerated, I've never felt so good.

[chuckles]

LOL.

-[keyboard clacking]

-Is that why my sonic cannon got all jacked up with the Beard Hunter?

-[keyboard clacking]

-How much stronger am I?

-[keyboard clacking]

-But I don't see any more cybernetic growth.

Grid, please confirm.

What?

In summary, it was very unpleasant.

[claps hands and exhales]

Dear Chief, sorry we never found you.

We have no excuse, other than we're utterly incompetent.

Oh, oh, look.

We got a clue.

From a teleporting, gender-q*eer street.

And based on Rita's description, we are now looking for, and I quote, "A hunky fellow, known as 'Hero of the Beach.'" Signed, the f*cking totally useless Doom Patrol.

-[Cliff]

We're not the Doom Patrol.

-God, no.

[Jane]

We will be, if we don't get our sh*t together.

The Hero of the Beach is Flex Mentallo.

That's right.

How did you know that?

Look at the cereal box.

-Mentall-Os!

-Ah.

Oh, you know what?

You know what we need right now?

Is a man to eat the Chief's beard hair and track his essence.

Oh, but wait.

[scoffs]

We had an actual Beard Hunter here in Doom Manor.

A hair-gobbling bloodhound that could have led us straight to the Chief, but no.

And what's up with you?

[Cliff]

Bump's dead.

Bump?

The guy who screwed your wife?

-You should be happy.

-[Cliff]

I am.

I'm not.

I need to see Clara.

So you're gonna bail on us and go to some homewrecker's funeral?

[Cliff]

She's my daughter.

Cliff, this is awful.

You should be there.

Flit, take me to Salty Bump's.

Don't talk to Flit.

Flit, Clara's at Bump's bar -in Cypressville-- -We are not your shuttle!

Because nobody jumped in to save you when you were in need, right, Jane?

Nobody.

And I mean nobody saved me.

-I vote we take this down a notch.

-[Rita]

No, no, no.

Ah!

Hey.

Here we go!

-[Rita]

Where are we?

-The Sunshine State.

-[Rita]

Florida?

-Enjoy!

[Cliff]

Deep breaths.

[exhales]

[breathing deeply]

What's wrong?

You wanted to come.

Uh, my daughter who thinks I d*ed 30 years ago is inside that bar.

She needs someone to lean on right now.

She needs a hero!

Oh!

Phew!

Boy!

Dizzy.

It's just nerves.

Every performer worth their salt gets them.

-[clears throat]

It means you care.

-[groans]

Now, stand up straight.

Repeat after me.

Red leather, yellow leather.

"Red leather, yellow--" What?

Why?

Blow your lips, like a horse.

[blowing lips]

-No lips.

Part of why I'm nervous.

-Right.

Ah!

How about take a deep, cleansing breath all the way up through your diaphragm.

Haaaah.

[Cliff]

Uh, I'm good.

[country music playing]

[people chattering]

Oh, goody, we fit right in.

Hey, Metallica!

Y'all friends of Bump's?

-[Cliff]

Uh...

-Who wasn't?

What a lovely man.

Tragic loss.

[Cliff]

Hi.

I see you're admiring Bump's handiwork.

He made this Halloween costume for my friend years ago.

-No sh*t.

-Hmm.

-Do you mind?

-[Cliff]

What?

Mind, what?

[Cliff whispering]

Rita.

Huh.

-[Cliff]

Rita.

-Reckon he used a Heliarc or a MIG?

-[man]

It's a MIG.

-[Cliff]

Rita.

-That's carbon steel, you jackass.

-[Cliff]

Rita.

I'll be damned.

-[Cliff]

Rita.

-Oh!

Would you boys excuse us?

[Rita]

Hmm.

Well, butter my backside and call me Biscuit.

What can I get for you, pretty lady?

Gin and tonic.

I want to fend off the mosquitoes while I'm here.

Good idea.

Something for your friend?

Oh, no, he's on the wagon.

Poor thing.

Sharaine!

G&T for the lady, and I'll take another pitcher of beer.

[Sharaine]

You got it, honey.

Survey says you are not from around here.

-Too classy.

-[chuckles]

Name's Big D.

-Gertrude Cramp.

-[Cliff]

Huh?

Ah, but most people call me Gertie.

So, Gertie.

You and tea kettle there an item?

Heavens, no.

He's just an old friend of the family.

Well, in that case, maybe you'd like to split a basket of chicken with me?

I'd be delighted, Big D.

[Big D]

Sharaine.

A basket of chicken.

You got it, Big D.

[Big D laughs]

[Rita]

Hmm.

[Vic grunts]

[groaning]

[blood dripping]

[gasps]

Oh, God.

[sighs]

[gasps]

No.

No, no, no.

No!

No.

[knocking on door]

[Jane]

Yo!

I just found out that Flex Mentallo has a wife named Dolores.

She's old as f*ck, but she's still alive.

"Wow.

That's great, Jane." We're meeting her in an hour.

-[bangs on door]

-Hello!

Hello, what?

Look, just go meet her.

You don't need my permission.

Listen, Vic-wad, you're the genius who got a talking street to tell us that Flex is the key to finding the Chief.

Flex is MIA and...

Well, his wife, Dolores, is all we got, so...

I need your help, Vic.

[sighs]

Okay.

Uh...

[sighs]

Just give me a minute.

[Rita]

So you knew Bump?

-We was neighbors.

-Hmm.

And I must have told him 1,000 times, if he's going looking for Frances, I will go with him.

But did he call?

Hell, no.

Was Frances his girlfriend?

No.

Frances is the name of the gator what ended up eating his sorry ass.

She's a legend.

A lot of folks figure she ate the Unabomber.

-And now, Bump.

-Yeah.

Poor old Bump.

He ended up in the belly of that godforsaken beast somewhere's out there in the Okefenokee Swamp.

That don't surprise me none either.

Most gator hunters know, they see Frances coming, -they gonna skedaddle.

-Mmm.

But not old Bump.

He just rushed right into danger.

[Cliff]

And straight into my wife's crotch.

Say...

Say what, now?

[laughs]

Just kidding.

Bump was awesome.

[chuckles]

Why'd Bump want to catch Frances anyway?

Well, you know Bump.

I mean, he's...

Get a wild hair, and not think things through and end up doing something stupid.

Yeah.

Like screwing someone else's wife!

-[Rita clears throat]

-I'm just kidding.

Again.

[woman]

Thank you, Clara.

[inaudible]

[Larry]

Please, I want to go back to that dream.

I'll never ask again.

Maybe you're tired.

I get it.

Okay?

But why'd you take me all the way there if you weren't going to let me play the whole thing out?

[sighs]

I need to see him, pal.

Please.

[gasps]

-[people chattering]

-[jazz music playing]

Excuse me.

Hey, hey, hey, where you heading?

Stay and talk.

No, thanks.

I'm looking for somebody.

[John]

First of all, you're underestimating writing stream of consciousness.

[man]

Okay, look, all I'm saying is that anybody could get loaded and write the first thing that comes to mind.

[John]

But this one is different.

This one is different.

Okay, there's a wicked wind, wild orgy.

And they get so wasted, they blow off dinner with Henry Miller.

-Can you imagine?

-I would never forgive myself.

-You'll love it.

-You had me at Henry Miller.

-You had me at orgy.

-Oh, you're so bad!

-[all laughing]

-You came?

-[Larry]

Hey.

-Boy, you came!

-Thank God I found you.

-Oh.

Guys, this is the Larry I was telling you about.

-Hey.

-Down, boy.

You know he's taken.

Who cares?

It's a free country.

I mean, look at him.

[man]

Oh, my gosh, stop it.

Look, he's blushing.

Hey, can we go?

[laughs]

You just got here.

Relax.

Enjoy yourself.

Get a drink.

Okay.

All right, bud.

He's cute.

[man]

Oh, my gosh.

He looks like a movie star.

[sighs heavily]

What the hell, pal?

Change it back to the motel.

I mean it.

We're trying to work together here, right?

This isn't what I want.

Change it back.

Now.

[man]

Are you gonna play something?

[country music playing]

Woman, you love you some chicken.

[laughs]

Uh-huh.

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Here I go.

[Cliff muttering]

[Sharaine whistles]

Everybody, shut the f*ck up, so Clara can say something.

-I don't know if I-- -Oh, come on, get on up there, hon.

We want to hear from you.

[sighs]

Okay.

Thanks.

You a friend of Bump's?

Yeah, I am.

Yeah.

Well, I'm real glad you're here.

Well, um, I just want to thank y'all for coming out today.

This would have meant a lot to my dad.

[voice breaking]

Y'all know Bump took me in after the accident.

He taught me the important things, like how to tie a cherry stem knot with my tongue.

[laughs]

-[all laughing]

-How to change my alternator.

How to kick a guy in the balls.

[all laughing]

That's probably why I'm still single.

[all laugh]

Um...

Anyhoo, uh...

When I turned 18, we made it official, and Bump adopted me.

I had gotten this little inheritance when my birth parents d*ed, and part of that was this gold watch.

It meant a lot to me.

But what meant more to me was this man who had cared for me and asked for nothing in return.

[chuckles]

I don't know.

Maybe it was silly, but that gold watch was the most valuable thing I owned, and I wanted him to have it.

So I had it inscribed, "To Dad, you're my hero." And...

And I gave it to him when the adoption was final.

Yeah.

[sniffles]

Y'all know Bump had this urgent way of looking at life, like it was ice cream on a hot day, and he just had to eat it fast.

Carpe Diem, he'd say, which he said was Latin for, "Don't waste a g*dd*mn minute, 'cause you never know when your time is up." [voice breaking]

Well, that stupid idiot, he was out there just Carpe -f*cking-Dieming when he went into the belly of a gator and took that damn watch with him.

Makes no sense why he did it.

But it also makes no sense why he'd take a little girl under his wing when he had his whole life ahead of him.

So, uh...

So here's to the good things that make no sense.

Here's to my dad.

He'll always be my hero.

[chuckles]

[all cheering]

-Did you talk to her?

-No, I didn't talk to her!

But she was right there!

Didn't you hear what she said?

Bump was her hero!

Of course, he was.

He raised her.

It's not a competition, Cliff.

Are you crazy?

He took in an orphan girl.

How am I gonna b*at that?

I think your love and a sincere apology should suffice.

No, no, no, no.

Frances.

What?

["Moon River" playing]

Come on.

Come on.

-[Larry]

What?

-Come on.

Dark corner, away from everybody.

[chuckles]

-One dance.

-Okay.

-One dance.

-I'll take what I can get.

-[Larry scoffs]

-Hey, you asked for context.

Here it is.

We're in the heart of the happening, Larry.

-I know.

I know.

-This is it.

I get it.

I get it.

It's just...

-It's a lot.

-[chuckles]

Hey, appreciate what we have here.

-Okay?

-Yeah.

Back home in Erie, Rawhide didn't open until '79.

sh*t.

Until then, the nearest gay bar was six hours away in Philly.

Rawhide?

Erie, PA.

What are you saying?

[John chuckles]

I'm saying, we're safe here.

[Larry]

And we'd be safe back at that motel.

Look, I know, I know I should be okay with all this, but there's no privacy here.

-Who's gonna see you here, Larry?

-What?

-I don't know.

-Because, right now, we could go anywhere.

We could do anything.

But we can't because, even in this dream, or whatever the hell this is, you're still worried about what other people think.

-No, no...

-Yes.

Yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

If you're not running from the m*llitary, it's your wife.

-And if it's not your wife...

-Hey.

-...then it's a table of perfectly wonderful guys.

-That is not it.


I just want us alone.

I want to be with you.

[loudly]

Then be with me, Larry.

Here!

Or at the table or at the bar!

What does it matter as long as we're together?

Okay.

Okay.

You're right, okay?

I need to change.

[scoffs]

Don't you think you would've if you could've by now?

You've got to let go, Larry.

The world has changed, and you've stayed the same.

Hiding out in the back of pickup trucks, holing up in out-of-the-way motels.

Never breaking out of your damn box.

What kind of life is that?

John.

John, I swear, I'll change.

Just give me a chance.

I'm all out of chances, Larry.

I don't want to spend my last days like this.

What?

You want a chance?

Take one.

John.

John!

John!

John!

[panting]

What is going on?

What's happening?

Answer me!

Look, I know you're not the best communicator, okay?

Join the club.

Why did John say he didn't want to spend his last days like this?

What chance am I supposed to take?

[sighs]

Come on, pal.

Come on, pal.

Help me out.

What's going on?

[sighs]

"Erie"?

Is that it?

[Rita]

Did you not hear what Big D said?

People that go after Frances never come back.

This is insane, even for you, Cliff.

Why'd you tell Big D that your name was Gertrude Cramp?

Because, unlike you, I'm not running away anymore.

I'm trying to face my fears and remember who I was before I was Rita Farr.

Gertrude is my real name.

Well, then I want to be Clara's dad again.

That's who I was before I became this tool shed.

But I can't do it without that watch.

This is about a watch?

A watch isn't going to win her back.

All a girl wants is her father's time.

Well, I blew that.

All I can do now is make up for it.

Why don't you just buy a new watch?

What is so special about that watch?

Because it's my f*cking watch.

Okay!

I won it in the Dallas Speedway in 1976 in a neck-in-neck with Flip Jackson.

And that watch means something to her.

So, if I have to bear wrestle an alligator to prove that I still care about her, then, God damn it, that's what I'm gonna do.

Ooh!

Well, what about me?

What am I supposed to do while you wade into the heart of darkness?

Stand on the shore?

Wait to be eaten alive by some tsetse horde?

-I don't care.

-[flies buzzing]

[exclaims and sighs]

I should have had another gin and tonic.

[sighs]

Ugh!

-[Rita grunting]

-[frog croaking]

[doorbell rings]

Hello, can I help you?

I'm an old friend of John's.

From the m*llitary.

Captain Larry Trainor.

[gasps]

I can't believe it.

-The bandages.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood, -and I wondered if he-- -Of course.

Come in.

He's been drifting in and out.

And your ears must have been burning, 'cause he keeps saying your name.

[chuckles]

[John]

Larry.

You son of a bitch.

I can't believe you came.

[Larry]

Hey.

[John sighs]

I...

I thought it was all a dream.

I had a bad fever for about a week.

I conked out.

I saw the white light.

I thought, "Well, John, old boy, it was a good run.

Wheels up.

All systems go." But when I got closer to the light...

[sighs]

I saw you.

Good God.

That steak sandwich was f*cking awesome, wasn't it?

[laughing]

[Larry]

I'd go back to that motel in a heartbeat.

[sighs]

I gotta be honest with you.

At this stage in my life, I'm too old to ask how.

You're here, Larry.

[John sighs]

You're here.

[chuckles]

It's so romantic in here, amongst the diapers and decongestant, isn't it?

[laughs and sighs]

Let's go to the porch.

And, if you don't mind, darling, -I need a lift.

-You got it.

[John grunts]

[Larry]

Up we go.

[grunts]

[John]

Good God, you're still so strong.

What I said in the bar, it was selfish of me to bring my crap into our fantasy.

I'm sorry.

[Larry]

Are you kidding?

I'm here because of what you said.

Part of me hoped you'd come.

Let's face it, other than Evette, I got no one left.

Everyone's croaked.

That's what they don't tell you.

You enter wearing diapers and eating baby food, and you exit the same damned way.

It's just my way of saying, I'm very glad you came, Larry Trainor.

This is where she said to meet, right?

[doors open]

Where the hell is she?

She's old.

Give her a minute.

Dude, this aggro thing is not working for you.

-Talk to me.

-Okay, look...

[sighs]

I'm all jacked up.

-Okay.

Meaning?

-Meaning...

When the Beard Hunter came at me, Grid went haywire, activated my sonic cannon.

I could have taken out Rita, Negative Spirit, you.

-Okay, so how's Grid now?

-I don't know.

-I turned it off.

-Isn't it like an integral part of you?

Yeah.

The totally f*cked up part, with a mind of its own.

But how can you even move?

Doesn't Grid control, like, -all your parts?

-No.

Grid's just my software.

Still.

Do you think you should have just-- I had to do what I had to do.

So I had to shut that sh*t down.

Have you ever felt like there's something inside of you that could do major damage if you don't take control?

I feel like that all the f*cking time.

The difference is I legitimately have no control.

I can't just shut that sh*t down.

Okay?

If I could, I would have done it a long time ago.

Why not just suck it up and call your dad?

-The painting.

-Dude, I saw that painting when I was inside a donkey.

It's mind-fuckery-vomit art from the fetid mind of Mr.

Nobody, dude.

I mean, consider the source.

Except it's happening.

I saw it with my own eyes.

The machine's taking over.

And I can't stop it.

f*ck.

What about you?

Why are you suddenly interested in rescuing the Chief?

I just can't stop thinking about that old folks home.

The Doom Patrol.

Chief was gonna lock me up there, and I deserve to know why.

-The Chief has his reasons for everything.

-Then I need to hear it.

From him.

He owes me that.

[man]

I know you were with him.

I f*cking saw you.

-Don't f*cking lie to me!

-[woman crying]

I'm not lying to you.

I swear!

-[man]

Bullshit!

-[woman]

Get off of me!

-I'll be right back.

-[man]

Come here!

-[woman crying]

-[man]

Where you going?

Hey!

-[man]

Oh, now you want to make me chase you?

-Leave her alone!

[man]

Don't you walk away from me!

-[man]

Come here.

-[woman]

Get away!

Get away!

-[man]

All I want to do is talk to you.

-[woman]

Leave me alone!

-[man]

I promise.

-Hello, young man.

Hey, you must be Dolores.

Look at my elbow.

[man]

Get back here!

Oh, I'mma find you all right [Jane]

Hey, fucko!

Keep your hands off her!

Look at my elbow.

Look at my fist, m*therf*cker!

-[Jane grunts]

-[man groans]

-[Jane grunts]

-[man yells]

[vehicle approaching]

[brakes screech]

[man groans]

[man]

Go, go, go!

-[tires screech]

-Go, go, go!

God damn it!

Vic, did you see that?

Vic!

Vic!

[Cliff]

Frances!

Frances!

Frances, where the f*ck are you?

This is utter madness, Cliff!

We have paddled through this stretch of swamp three times, and we still haven't seen Frances.

It's starting to get dark soon.

We have to turn back.

[Cliff]

I'm gonna find that watch, and give it to Clara.

If I find that watch, everything will be better.

I'm gonna find that watch and give it to Clara.

-If I find that watch, everything will-- -Or you could just talk to her!

And say what?

Everything I could possibly say would be totally stupid as f*ck!

"Hi, I'm your dad, but I d*ed, and I'm a robot now.

I'm just a brain in a tin can, but, hey, even though I've been robot non grata for 30 years, and I don't expect you to like me, and you certainly don't have to love me, but I just wanted to say, 'I'm sorry.'" Yes!

That's exactly what you would say.

[Cliff]

But if I find the watch, I'll be her hero.

And she'll know how much I care.

No more time for words.

From now on, only deeds.

Frances!

Where the f*ck are you!

I want that f*cking watch!

I need that f*cking watch!

I want that f*cking watch!

I need that f*cking...

f*cking...

[screaming]

watch!

[Rita]

Cliff?

Are you okay?

Cliff?

Oh, my God, you've fried your brain, you stupid idiot!

[crying]

How are we gonna get you out of here, now?

[squeals]

[exhales]

I didn't survive Forbidden Congo just to die in some g*dd*mn swamp!

[shouting]

Cliff!

[Cliff]

I'm here.

Let's go home.

[chuckles]

Let's!

Are you coming?

[Cliff]

No, you...

You go ahead.

[Rita]

Okay.

[sighing]

[sighing deeply]

[splashing]

[growling]

[Cliff screaming]

Now, tell me all about you.

[Larry]

There's nothing to tell.

There must be something.

You have the strength of a 20-year-old.

What do you do to stay so virile?

And please don't tell me yoga.

-[both chuckle]

-I can't tell if you're laughing under that gauze.

It's f*cking yoga.

I knew it.

[Larry]

No.

More like RHIP.

I haven't heard that since the service.

"Rank Has Its Privileges"?

[Larry]

No, "Radiation Has Its Perks." I'll be damned.

[sighs]

Guess there's always a silver lining, Lar.

So there's been no one special in your life for 60 years?

Come on.

What about your wife, Sheryl?

[Larry]

She d*ed of cancer in '89.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

[Larry]

We weren't close, but thank you.

And the boys?

[Larry]

Why put this on them?

What good would it do?

The truth is, I haven't really lived much since the accident.

You were my last real thing.

And I still feel bad about sending you away.

It wasn't easy.

But...

I got over you.

[sighs]

Eventually.

And I moved on.

You should too.

[Larry]

You know, when I told you I loved you, at the motel, I meant it.

I wanted you to know that.

In case I don't get another chance to tell you.

[scoffs]

-I'm not dead, yet, for Christ's sake!

-[Larry chuckles]

You really haven't f*cked anyone since JFK?

My God, Larry!

[both laughing]

[Larry]

Now that I think of it, there is a relationship I want to tell you about.

Go on.

Go on.

[Larry]

It's not a traditional relationship, per se, but...

There's something inside me.

I wouldn't say we're friends.

But...

there's definitely a connection there.

For years, I didn't know what it was, or what it wanted.

But now, I think I might.

Hey...

["Moon River" playing]

Sleep well, my friend.

Thank you.

I'll be with you in a sec.

[sighs]

[Darren]

Hello, Victor.

Darren Jones.

I greatly enjoyed our meeting on Danny the Street, but I thought this time, we'd get together on my turf.

Welcome to the Ant Farm.
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