05x11 - Resting Devil Face

[bunniefuu]

["Believer" by Imagine Dragons playing]

♪ First things first I'mma say all the words inside my head ♪

♪ I'm fired up ♪

♪ And tired of the way That things have been, oh! Ooh-ooh! ♪

♪ The way that things Have been, oh! Ooh-ooh! ♪

♪ Second thing... ♪

Are you positive you're ready?

Yeah.

[sighs]

♪ Pain! You made me a... You made me a believer, believe-- ♪

And you won't back down, no matter what nefarious mind games he tries to play -because we need to present...

-[both]

A united front.

I know.

Don't worry, Lucy, we both agree Dad needs to go home.

♪ Pain! You made me a... You made me a believer ♪

♪ Believer ♪

-♪ Pain ♪

-Oh, for-- He was just here.

[sighs]

Hey.

-[woman]

Hi.

-Hi, there.

Uh... Have you seen a rather large, attractive gentleman? Broad shoulders, piercing eyes.

-Hmm?

Heroic face?

[chuckles]

AMENADIEL: Looks a little like me.

You mean the plumber?

-[clattering]

-[Amenadiel]

Excuse me.

Dad, what are you doing?

Just making myself useful.

You know, tightening up fittings, replacing washers. Don't want a flood on our hands.

-[laughs]

That's--

Dad, we need to speak to you about something very serious.

[Lucifer]

Hmm.

Lucifer tells me that your powers have been acting up.

Well, I've had a glitchy moment or two adjusting to the mortal plane. But all is well. I mean, take a look around. Not a musical interlude in sight. Pass me that / socket wrench. -Hmm. Excuse me.

-What--

-[God]

Thank you.

-[Amenadiel clears throat]

What? Dad said he was fine.

LUCIFER: The creator of the universe glitching is the literal opposite of fine.
Excuse me! Excuse me, yeah. What are you still doing here anyway? You've had your granddad time with Charlie. Shouldn't you be off somewhere until, I don't know, his First Communion, at absolute earliest?

-I told you. I'm here to help.

LUCIFER: I don't need your help, Dad. Not with the plumbing, not with the feng shui of the penthouse, not with the soda dispenser that started miraculously pumping Pinot Noir! Just take a rest.

-[cell phone vibrates]

LUCIFER: It must be the seventh day somewhere. Oh, and some of us have now got to go to work. So, since Amenadiel has proven himself once again to be completely useless, you and I will have to discuss this later.

-I look forward to it, son.

-[Lucifer sighs]

And while I'm waiting, I think I'll tighten up your wobbly dancing pole.

[whirs]

-No, don't.

-[hesitates]

[sighs]

Didn't expect to end up here, did you?

But actions have consequences.

One minute you're breaking the rules, and the next, you're in a police cruiser headed downtown.

What were you thinking?

Stealing my handcuffs? Using official police equipment to lock a defenseless child to a lunch table?

Todd Drexhage pushed a first-grader into a trash can.

Again!

Mom, I was just doing what you do, locking up the bad guys.

Okay, locking up the bad guys is my job.

Your job is learning.

At school.

Which you won't be doing today because you've been suspended.

Excuse me, could you pretend for one minute to be upset about this?

I'm being brave, Mom.

Like you are.

[sighs]

I'm sorry I made you leave work and get stuck with me all day.

Trixie... I am never stuck with you.

Okay?

But I can't-- I can't leave work today, and-- and neither can your dad.

-So... -Where am I going?

[chuckles]

Thank you so much for doing this.

Oh, well, she's potty trained and has never once tried to rip my earrings out, so how much trouble could she be?

[chuckles]

Thank you.

Yes.

-[door closes]

-This'll be fun.

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh! Are you ready? Let's go! ♪

♪ Let's go right out! ♪

♪ Come on! Whoa oh-whoa-whoa-oh-whoa! ♪

[Chloe]

Lucifer.

You're late. You're never late. Was it something I said or did or didn't say or do?

No.

-No, no. All good here.

-[sighs]

-I'm dealing with some family stuff.

-Ugh, family. Can't live with them. No longer have the tools to banish them to an alternate universe.

Oh, well, it's Trixie. She's one day my sweet, little pigtailed angel, the next she's--

She's turning your seltzer into admittedly delicious but totally unnecessary wine. Don't I know it.

-Well, that's not exactly--

-No. No, no, no. Moses wouldn't want this much face time. Ugh, sorry, Detective, I need to extinguish a burning bush.

Hey.

Mister, uh, God.

[chuckles]

Listen, um...

I'm sorry that I slept with your wife. I didn't know she was married at the time. I swear to--

-well, to you, I guess.

-[chuckles]

Wait.

Could you, uh... Could you see Charlotte and me when we were...

No need to worry, Daniel. Everything is as it should be.

Hmm.

-[bones cracking]

-Wow, that's, uh, that's some grip. Yeah, maybe we should... Ah! You're hurting me.

[groaning]

Let go!

[grunts]

[clamoring]

-[mouths]

-[man]

You see that?

Did you mean to do that?

Of course, I meant to put him back together.

Do not "mysterious ways" me right now. You just exploded a man.

-He looks perfectly fine to me.

-[toy squeaking]

No harm, no foul.

Definitely harm and foul. Dad, you need to leave. Staying here on Earth is endangering the people I care about and... others.

Hey, Ella's got a body downtown.

I told her we were on our way.

Lovely.

Lovely.

Let me just get rid of my--

[Chloe]

What?

Where did he go?

Did time freeze again while I wasn't looking?

Actually, I believe something far more miraculous may have happened.

[chuckles]

I think for the first time ever, my father might have listened to me.

Huh!

[sighs]

[man]

The end is nigh!

Are you prepared to meet your maker?

-Just got rid of him, thank you.

[laughs]

-[sighs]

Hey, Ella, what do we have?

Hey, so, looks like your standard on-the-skids OD, right?

Which would have been tragic enough, but look, no track marks.

Just a single injection spot at the hairline, with enough bruising to indicate a struggle.

I mean, whoever dumped this body here wanted it to be mistaken for an "accidental" death, but this right here?

Totally a m*rder.

Well, looks like our vic put up quite the fight.

Did you get an ID?

That's the craziest part.

The victim was a fighter.

Albert Walcott.

-No way.

-[Ella]

Way!

Never would've recognized him, right?

I ran the prints three times to be sure.

This is definitely him.

Who's Albert Walcott?

Albert "Almighty" Walcott.

Former heavyweight champion of the world, three years running?

Okay.

Madison Square Garden, , Almighty versus the undefeated Josh Clemson.

It's round five.

The fight's brutal.

Almighty taking hit after hit after hit.

Clemson puts in a massive right hook.

Almighty falls against the ropes.

Everyone thinks it's over, but then--

Bam!

Almighty hits Clemson with an uppercut like a freight train.

Clemson goes down on the canvas.

It's a knockout.

The crowd goes wild!

Wild!

Time out, crime scene.

Right.

Sorry, but just to be clear, none of that jogged your memory?

No.

ELLA: Chloe, he was a huge sensation.

Look.

[Chloe sighs]

Oh.

Are you sure this is the same guy?

Well, he's fallen upon tough times recently.

He had a heart att*ck a few years ago that ended his career.

I know, always thought he'd make a comeback.

Instead, he got the final TKO.

Oh, I don't bloody believe this!

I mean, the guy was...

-Of course!

-[softly]

That's my son.

Of course, you're still here, selfishly putting all of humanity in danger.

That's where you're wrong. My divine presence won't be a danger to anyone because... I made myself human.

What do you mean you've made yourself human?

You were worried about my powers glitching. So I put them aside, temporarily.

Check it out. Your old man is just a regular dude.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

And why would you think it's a good idea to become a "regular dude"?

When we were singing together, I realized you were right.

[chuckles]

Sorry, could you repeat that? I would love to capture the moment for posterity.

I tried to be supportive. But how can I, if I never truly understood you? So I'm going to try.
Starting right here, right now.

Here and now, at my job?

Well, you've clearly learned and grown a great deal in your time on Earth. I'd just like to be a party to that knowledge. Living in a human form. Solving cases.I'm here for the whole kit and kaboodle.

-Oh, uh, Lucifer, you still there?

-Regretfully, yes.

Wow!

Did you know that when humans close their eyes they can't see anything?

-I did.

-[God]

I mean, total darkness. But you open these babies and bam! Let there be light.

[laughs]

-[Chloe]

Hey.

-Oh, Detective.

Please tell me there's some pressing break in the case we must investigate right this minute.

Well, actually, now that your dad is here, maybe he can help.

So, you are all-seeing and all-knowing, yes?

So, whodunnit?

[scoffs]

For once, I actually don't know. I made myself human. Isn't that exciting?

[laughs]

What is he talking about?

Oh, he does inexplicable things from time to time. Marsupials, pomegranates, the gall bladder.

Anyway, we've got a m*rder to solve, so what say we regroup at the precinct?

Just us crime solvers.

Well, we can't just leave him here.

[sighs]

Fine.

I'll call him an Uber.

No.

Would you like to come back with us?

Oh, that sounds divine, Detective.

We can do all the things you kids normally do, but together, with me.

[Lucifer grunts]

-[Ella]

Oh, that's gotta hurt!

-[grunting and groaning on screen]

[slurping]

Oh, I'm sorry, but it's so delicious. It's like snow, with fruit.

-[Chloe]

Hmm.

-Hi.

ELLA: Oh, are you the new lab tech?

Oh, that's right, you haven't met.

Miss Lopez, this is my father.

Dad, Miss Lopez.

-Your dad?

-[Lucifer]

Hmm.

-Oh, my God! It's so amazing to meet you.

-Oh, you too!

[laughs]

And I just wanna thank you for all the support. It hasn't gone unnoticed.

Anyway, can't believe I'm saying this, but can we all just, you know, focus on the case?

-[Chloe]

Mm-hmm.

-[Lucifer clears throat]

[slurps]

Oh!

My head is on fire!

Brain freeze.

We've all been there, big guy.

Just give it a second, it'll go away.

Hmm.

Yes, so, why was Almighty breaking into a--

[groans]

Oh!

There it is again.

Put that down.

What was Almighty doing breaking into a hospital?

-Well, the Internet's best guess is dr*gs.

-Oh.

Check out the pharmacy in the background.

Anything in his tox screen?

Yeah.

A boatload of the drug that k*lled him.

Some sort of synthetic stimulant.

But it's weird 'cause the chemical formula doesn't fit anything in our database.

Right.

Let's go to the hospital, see if anyone knows more.

[clears throat]

Right.

Right.

-Oh, my.

-Stop drinking it so fast.

It's not that.

-I think I need to... you know.

-[Lucifer]

Oh.

Ugh.

Excuse us for just one moment, Detective.

It appears I need to take my billion-year-old father to the little boys' room.

Come on.

[liquid tinkling]

It's cool, man.

You're still in one piece. God is not gonna k*ll you. He'll just wait till you die and t*rture you.
For all eternity.

[sighing]

I am breathing healing energy.

[inhales, exhales]

[screams, gasps]

Maze!

I see you're handling this celestial stuff like a champ.

DAN: Well, at least your psycho behavior finally makes sense.

-Hmm.

-I mean, you're a-- You're a demon.

Yeah.

What's Hell like?

Oh, Hell is awesome.

-Really?

-Yeah.

[sighs]

DAN: That's a relief.

The pain, t*rture, the screams of doomed souls, begging for the sweet release of a death that will never come.

[laughs, exhales]

Oh, you mean for you. Yeah, Hell's gonna suck, bro.

[Dan chuckles]

Anyway, at least you have a soul to damn. Unlike me.

[gasps]

Thanks for the reminder, Dan.

[gasps]

Yes, Albert Walcott was my patient.

He suffered a cardiac event in his dressing room after a match.

[God]

No.

I'm sorry, this is just so exciting.

I have literally no idea what she's gonna say next.

You were saying.

[doctor]

Well, the medics had the sense to rush him to the ER, and I was able to save his life with a triple bypass.

It must have been difficult for Almighty.

Losing the abilities that once made him invincible.

You know, I think it was, actually.

He fell into a depression and stopped showing up for his appointments.

In fact, the last time any of us here saw him, he was caught trying to steal dr*gs.

So the Internet was right.

Mr. Walcott is lucky that the hospital administration didn't press charges.

I guess they figured that video going viral was punishment enough.

So we found this in his tox screen.

It's a drug our forensics team didn't recognize.

Have you seen anything like that before?

Yes, unfortunately I have.

This is a drug that was developed for fighter pilots.

It's colloquially known as YSD.

It's very exclusive, although we have seen a couple of overdoses in the ER.

Exclusive, you say? Can you tell me what this drug looks like?

I've only seen it in person once.

I found a pill in the pocket of a DOA, but as memory serves, it was, uh... small and pink.

Right, what shade of pink, precisely? Bubble gum, Barbie or bougainvillea?

Or sunset, cherry blossom.

Flamingo.

I did outdo myself with the colors.

Uh... Well, I guess you could say ballet slipper.

Oh, say no more.

That's the pill.

Wh-- How did you acquire that?

Thank you, Dr. Porter, you've been very helpful.

-Yes, thank you.

-Lucifer.

-[God]

Thank you.

-Where did you get that?

At Lux, of course.

And the doctor was right.

It's very high-end and not at all easy to come by.

LUCIFER: There's only one dealer who carries them in town at present. The Colonel. Drinks like a fish, surprisingly charming.

Reminds me of a young me.

Let's arrange a buy, we'll set up a sting, and we'll shake down this Colonel.

A sting.

How exciting!

What should I wear?

How should I speak?

I always thought this pip-pip-cheerio accent that you chose was a little over the top, but maybe I'll give it a try.

You won't be trying anything.

We're dropping you off at the penthouse on the way.

As the Spanish like to say, vaya con... you.

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ I'm a dangerous man ♪

-♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

-♪ Yeah! ♪

-♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

-♪ I'm a dangerous man... ♪

Okay, the perimeter's set.

Our guy's all mic-ed up, and he's heading into the buy.

-Right.

-And by "our guy," I mean Lucifer.

The Devil.

Who we work with.

[sighs]

Are you sure we should send him in there alone?

Well, Lucifer's invincible now, so what could go wrong?

♪ I'm a dangerous man ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

[woman]

Lucifer!

Colonel!

Nice to see you.

We were just getting to know your charming associate.

Dad.

-♪ Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho! ♪

-♪ 'Cause I'm a dangerous man ♪

[Lucifer sighs]

Excuse us a moment, just need a word with my associate.

[chuckles]

What are you doing here?

If I truly want to understand you, I have to experience the full breadth of earthly existence.

-Hmm.

-Risk, danger.

LUCIFER: You're about to be experiencing death if you blow our cover.

To the man behind the man.

The man behind the man?

[laughs]

-Is that what you told them?

-[chuckles]

Well, actually, son, I'm the man behind all men.

And women.

Son?

You're Lucifer's father?

Did I fail to mention that?

-Must have slipped my mind.

-The apple fell a ways from the tree.

-Oh, yeah, I like that.

-[chuckles]

Lucifer, I see where you get your business acumen and your charm.

[laughs]

LUCIFER: Oh, wrong on both counts. He just gave me Hell, but no matter.

-[laughs]

Right, here's your money.

Please hand over the dr*gs.

[colonel]

Stolz, go get the product.

Well, that could have gone worse, huh?

How do you think this Colonel O'Bryan is doing?

From a moral standpoint?

Well, she's a drug dealer and most likely a m*rder*r, so probably not so great.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Maybe m*llitary school isn't the answer. For Trixie. To get her back on the straight and narrow before she... ends up... you know?

Dan, you think our -year-old daughter is going to Hell?

DAN: I don't know. I mean, maybe. Aren't you afraid of it? I mean, it's all real, Chloe.
God. The Devil. It's real, you know? I just, I... I wanna nudge Trixie in the right direction before it's too late.

Okay, yeah, yes, uh, Hell does exist, I just don't think one school suspension is the road to ruin here.

DAN: You'd be surprised how easy it is to get on the wrong track.

Dan. You are a great dad. Trixie's a great kid. She's just having a tween moment. I'm sure she's talking about it to Linda now.

That bully must have done something pretty bad for you to feel that you needed to lock him up.

TRIXIE: That's what you're going with? No wonder Lucifer's still in therapy.

Oh, and B-T-dubs, you can't trick me into talking about my feelings.

Wow. Okay, well, you're very perceptive, Trixie, you know?

But I don't have to trick you.

See, a therapist is kind of like a detective.

I can just look at your actions and figure out how you're feeling from there.

Like for example, sometimes when we're really upset with someone we love, we can get scared of expressing that feeling or even admitting it to ourselves.

It's called denial.

Denial makes my stomach hurt?

The thing is, when we try to stuff those feelings down too far, we may wind up lashing out at someone else.Someone who isn't even important to us.

Like Todd Drexhage.

Exactly.

So if I did have denial, how would I cure it?

Well, if I were you, I might try to be my own detective.

I'd look deep down inside my heart to find out who I was really mad at.

And then I'd tell that person how I was feeling.

Even if it might hurt them?

Even if it might hurt them.

Mid temper-tantrum, Lucifer looks straight up at me, all serious, and says, "I'm going to start a rebellion."

-Adorable.

-[men chuckle]

You're lucky your dad is here.

LUCIFER: Am I?

[laughs]

I was top of my class at the Academy.

-Earned a Silver Star in Afghanistan.

-Hmm.

And I built a small business from the ground up.

You know how underrepresented women are in the upper echelons of the drug trade?

I am a trailblazer.

-None of it's good enough for my mother.

-[sighs]

You should be grateful your dad is so supportive.

LUCIFER: My father is about as supportive as a piece of wet cardboard.

[God laughs]

I never had to support you, son.

You know, he moved to Los Angeles all by himself, established a thriving nightclub.

-And now he's a consultant for the LA--
-Dad!

Oh, don't be so modest, son. Look how well you're handling this sting.

[mumbles]

Say again?

[Lucifer sighs]

Whoops.

[huffs]

[sighs]

Look, look, everything is gonna be okay, right?

Lucifer can flatten b*ll*ts, and God... well, he's God.

Yeah.

-Not anymore.

-[O'Bryan]

Pack up the product!

We're moving base camp now.

We'll take care of these two on the way.

[exhales]

All right, Dad, time to get your powers back.

God up, as it were.

Unfortunately, I don't have my powers with me right now. But I'm sure everything will turn out just fine.

That's what you said about the bloody dinosaurs!

Don't you dare take that tone with me!

I giveth, and I'm not afraid to taketh away.

Oh, a lot of big words for a man who was recently leveled by a frozen beverage!

-[O'Bryan]

Quiet, you two!

-Sorry!

[Lucifer scoffs]

-[O'Bryan]

Come on.

Hurry.

-[God]

Lucifer.

As I stare down at that w*apon, I'm feeling something entirely new.

.Regretful, ridiculous, ready to go home?

No, no, no, my forehead is wet, but my throat is dry, and the floor's starting to spin.

Lucifer, is the floor starting to spin for you?

-Dad.

-Listen, shut up!

Ow!

[Lucifer panting]

Yes.

I'm starting to feel something as well.

[growls]

[scraping]

-[screaming]

-[loud banging]

[Chloe panting]

Wait.

-[blows landing]

-[grunting]

[heart b*ating]

[man screams]

No one lays hands on my father.

Put the human down, Samael. There's no need for v*olence.

[Lucifer]

Dad.

They were going to k*ll you.

 [huffs]

-They were, weren't they?

-[Lucifer sighs]

[Chloe panting]

Oh, Lucifer.

Are you okay?

Are they okay?

What happened?

Oh, just prevented GI Jane here from pulling a Nietzsche.

Anyway, I'm sure you can take it from here.

If you'll excuse us, Dad and I have an errand to attend to.

Come on!

[groans]

Ow!

Where are we going?

Hurts to talk with a busted lip, doesn't it?

The good news is you can poof the pain away yourself because we are getting your powers back right now.

Where are they?

I don't remember.

Uh-- Drink this, it'll help.

-Oh!

-Yes.

Right, now focus.

Where are your powers?

I really don't remember. But I'm sure I left them somewhere safe.

If you don't remember where they are, how can you be sure that they're safe?

What if something happens to them?

What if something happens to you?
Does the universe collapse into nothingness, destroying everything and everyone I care about?

Your face, Lucifer.The one you used in Hell. In-person, it really is quite intense.

LUCIFER: Are you seriously about to critique the way I looked while saving your life? Because if so, pardon my resting devil face.

Why did you choose that face? Deep down, that face is how you see yourself.

[elevator bell dings]

LUCIFER: What are you doing here?

I told my dad I forgot my social studies book.

-[sighs]

-He's waiting downstairs.

LUCIFER: Very well, fetch the book and be on your way.

I lied, dummy.

LUCIFER: What on earth was that for?

I looked inside my heart like Dr. Linda said, and here's what I realized. Your hair is stupid, and your jokes are immature, and what kind of person puts a bar that big in their house?

LUCIFER: My hair is majestic, and you know it.

-Grown-ups are supposed to be responsible.

-Oh, are they? Well, I'll show you responsibility. You're banned from the penthouse for a month.

[chuckles]

Come on, Dad, we are returning this miniature hooligan to her father.

[snoring]

[sighs]

I don't believe this.

♪ Don't try to break me, don't try ♪

The most you have me on is possession of a drug that hasn't even been made illegal yet.

You'll be lucky to keep me overnight.

Well, I wouldn't worry about the possession charge, Colonel.

We have you on the hook for good old-fashioned m*rder.

So Albert "Almighty" Walcott was injected with YSD against his will and seeing that you're the only YSD dealer in town, I figure it was either you that k*lled him or the person you sold to.

Detective, I've done three tours in Afghanistan.

I led my men through horrors you can't imagine and dragged them out to the other side alive.

I wasn't scared when your partner choked me unconscious, and I sure as hell am not scared of your half-baked accusations.

[clicks tongue]

It says, uh, you are second-generation m*llitary.

Yeah?

Your mom was a four-star general, who went on to a distinguished career in the State Department.

Very impressive.

What's your point?

Well, I bet she'd be really disappointed to see her legacy going up in smoke.

Trust me, she wouldn't care.

Well, being a mother myself, I have to disagree. Children, they are a reflection of us, aren't they?

But why don't we call General Mom and see what she thinks?

Maryland prefix.

Still working in government service at her age.

Wow.

Respect.

It must have been hard, growing up with such exacting standards.

-[ringing]

-Getting the message every day, that to be a good soldier you always had to be strong.

Did you display anger issues as a child?

Uh, vigilante behavior, locking anyone to a lunch table?

Hang up the phone.

I-- [groans lightly]

I think I might know who gave Almighty the YSD.

-Oh.

-[ringing stops]

I sold a bunch of product to a guy, Kristoff.

Dude calls himself "fitness guru to the stars."

Trains a bunch of fighters.

Maybe Almighty was one of 'em.

♪ Oh! Oh! ♪

♪ I've been waiting so long... ♪

"You're perfect just the way you are," God says.

[chuckles]

But what is that?

If he wasn't invincible, I would rip his stupid guts out.

[pounds table]

[Amenadiel]

Careful with this one. She's a murderous, back-stabbing traitor.

Look, you don't have to worry about me causing any more trouble.

Okay?

For a second, Michael had me believing I could be something else.

Something better.

But I get it now.

I'll never be more than this.

[chuckles]

-Maze, we talked about this.

-Shouldn't you be at baby nerd class?

If you're referring to Science Time with Newton Newt, Linda took him.

Lucy called and asked me to take care of our father.

What could he possibly need?

He's literally all-powerful.

Oh, he's passed out drunk because he decided to make himself human.

So I gotta go.

Well, maybe I could come with you.

Tell him there are no hard feelings about the whole soul thing.

I think he would really appreciate that.

[chuckles]

[elevator bell dings]

Dad, you awake?

This is really big of you, Maze.

Owning up to your mistakes shows real emotional maturity.

[Mazikeen]

Yep.

Emotional maturity.

That's the point.

[panting]

[grunts]

[Amenadiel]

Dad!

You didn't find him either?

No.

[exhales]

"Went to find powers."

"X-O-X-O, Dad."

We should split up.

Cover more ground.

Any idea where he may have gone?

-Uh... oh.

-Ah.

Dan said he brought Trixie by for a textbook yesterday.

-Hope she wasn't too much trouble.

-[sighs]

LUCIFER: The child has got a lot of fight in her. Just like her mother.

-[laughs]

LUCIFER: Not to mention a decent chance at a football career.

[man]

Busy.

Go away.

Charming.

[chuckles]

Well, this is adorable.

It looks like a tiny, nautical orgy.

No new clients at this time.

[Chloe]

Detective Decker, LAPD.

We need to ask you some questions about a former client.

Albert "Almighty" Walcott.

So it's true.

Damn.

The kid had so much potential.

Naturally gifted, always put in the work.

Could have been one of the greats.

Yes, you have had a lot of greats coming out of this gym lately.

A lot of miracle transformations.

You got some, um, revolutionary training program?

Or is it the YSD?

YSD?

Never heard of it.

[sighs]

Right, let's speed things along, shall we?

Tell me, Kristoff, what is it you desire?

I want...

Yeah.

...more YSD.

Oh.

It was fun at first.

Playing God.

Controlling my clients' every calorie and deadlift.

But it never stops.

They call me every hour of the day and night.

-Show up at my home.

-You got tired of babysitting them?

Damn right I did.

You know who doesn't need babysitting?

This guy.

You glue his little feet to the deck one time, and he sails on forever without a single complaint.

Right.

Absolutely, but what does any of this have to do with YSD?

The drug helps my clients focus.

Better coordination, fewer late night calls.

I know it's safe because I take it myself.

Steadies the hands.

Yes, but it isn't safe for everybody.

Did you know about Almighty's heart condition when you gave him the YSD?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I've never given Almighty any drug.

[huffs]

And he wouldn't even have taken it if I had.

His body was a temple.

No alcohol, no coffee, not so much as an aspirin.

Anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

Right.

Well, good luck with the armada.

Hold on.

What if, when Almighty broke into the hospital, he wasn't looking for dr*gs?

Look at this.

There's two doors in the hallway, right where he got caught breaking in.

So, the one on the left is the pharmacy.

The one at the end of the hall is...

Records room.

Yes.

If Almighty was digging through private medical records...

Maybe he found something worth k*lling for.

We have to get back to the hospital.

Let's go.

Oh!

LUCIFER: Oh. I'm afraid I won't be able to come.

[chuckling]

It appears that my father has gone missing.

[chuckles]

God has gone missing?

LUCIFER: No, I'm sure it'll be fine. He's probably gone to that doughnut shop he likes or decided to relive the glory days of creation at the zoo. Anyway, you go on with the case, and I'll pop off, try and find him and give him a stern talking-to.

-Right.

Okay.

-Uh...

-Mm.

-Oh.

I'm sorry, I just...

I didn't know where we stood after...

Oh, no, I shouldn't have.

I wasn't thinking.

I mean...

I'm the one who couldn't...

-No.

No, oh, my God.

No.

I-- -[sighs]

-Mm!

-Oh!

Sorry.

-Oh, no, no.

It's all good.

-Good.

-Uh... -Yes.

[exhales]

[chuckling]

Well, what a lovely surprise.

Are you running away too?

Batten down the hatches and crank up the Vivaldi, huh?

-It's a beautiful day to operate.

-[chuckles]

Scalpel.

[Chloe]

Dr. Porter.

[Porter]

I'm about to perform an extremely delicate surgery, Detective.

If you'd like to make an appointment, I'm sure my nurse can squeeze you in tomorrow.

Almighty didn't come here looking for dr*gs, did he?

He came here looking for records, your records, and I saw them.

They confirmed what Almighty thought all along.

That you had botched other surgeries just like you botched his.

He threatened to expose you.

Didn't he?

So you k*lled him with an overdose.

YSD, the exact drug that you use to steady the tremor in your hands.

No, Albert Walcott was a deranged, deluded addict.

He was!

We all saw that video.

[Chloe]

I know what it's like to have people depending on you.

To feel like you always have to be the strong one or else everything will fall apart.

The YSD, it... it helps you conceal your weakness, but it's just a Band-Aid.

You... you're not okay, Doctor.

And pretending that you are is only hurting the ones that depend on you.

You can still save one last patient, Doctor.

All you have to do is... just put down the scalpel.

Please put it down.

Oh, thank you.

[chuckles]

Enjoy.

So, why are you running away?

I've been having... trouble lately.

I haven't been feeling like myself. Getting confused, losing things. And now my children are mad at me. Can't say I blame them. Honestly, I think I may have really messed up.

TRIXIE: I guess everyone makes mistakes.

Even grown-ups.

What a wise observation.

What about you, Trixie?

What are you doing so far from home?

I realized I'm mad at Lucifer. I've actually been mad at him for a while, but I had denial.

Happens to the best of us. Why are you mad at him?

Well, I-- I thought we were friends... but then he just ran off to Florida for months, and he didn't even say goodbye. He always just does whatever he wants. And now... I don't know what he's doing now. But I know it's making my mom really sad.

GOD: You know I'm Lucifer's dad, right? Well, some of the ways he acts... I think they may be my fault.
As a father, I tried to give my children just the right amount of free will... the right amount of responsibility, consequence. Looking back at how I raised Lucifer... Hmm, I'm not sure I got it all right.

I've never been a parent before, but it seems like a tough job.

Hmm.

I've never been a kid. But I bet that's not so easy either.

-[both chuckle]

[both laugh]

I think it's time to go home.

Home.

Trixie.

Ha-ha!

You're a genius.

You just reminded me where I left something.

[laughs]

He's not at the doughnut shop, the zoo or the Gas 'n' Grub.

[scoffs]

Have you checked the park?

Of course I checked the park.

I'm not an idiot!

-[sighs]

Well, I mean, you did lose Dad.

-He was gone when I arrived.

What part of "united front" do you not understand?

If we just forced Dad to confront his issues--

AMENADIEL: I'm not forcing Dad to do anything, Lucy! He's our father, all right? God Almighty! And you really should start showing him a little bit more respect.

He is an old man who has lost control of his powers, and now he's out there somewhere lost and alone and afraid!

He's afraid.

[God]

Who's afraid?

[Lucifer]

Dad!

Where have you... You can't just run off like that!

Do you have any idea what you put us through?

I'm starting to think I do, actually.

[door opens]

But not to worry, everything's going to be just fine.

[Lucifer]

I hope by "fine" you mean you've managed to locate the power to create and destroy the universe, that you lost because you were busy drinking a Gulpee.

I'm sorry, what?

[Lucifer sighs]

Well, I have remembered where I put my powers, yes.

Thank you for holding onto this for me, Charlie. I knew it would be safe with family.

[chiming intensifies]

[whooshing]

[exhales]

[coos]

What just happened?

[dance music playing]

Yo.

What's up?

Rough day?

Couldn't k*ll God.

You?

DAN: I think... God k*lled me.

-We're gonna need more drinks.

-[Mazikeen]

Yeah.

[sighs]

[God] Thank you for not k*lling me.

[exhales]

I didn't want Trixie to see that kind of v*olence.

You were following me for quite a while before Trixie showed up.

Mazikeen, you chose not to k*ll me.

Fine. You created me to be a k*ller, and I can't even do that right.
"Perfect the way I am," my demon ass.

The funny thing about miracles... is they happen every day.
An angel has a child with a human.
The Devil can fall in love.
We can all learn.

And we can all grow.

But a demon can't grow a soul.

Can't she?

[gasps]

[exhales]

[exhales]

-[Dan groans]

Oh!

-[liquid spills]

You know what?I slept with your wife, and I can't change that, even if I wanted to. Which I don't. So smite me. Turn me into a pillar of salt. Whatever you do.

[laughs]

Let's just get it over with.

It's not my business who my ex-wife spent her time with, Daniel. The truth is, I wasn't the best husband, and I'm grateful she found someone to give her the love she deserved.
Thank you.

-[exhales]

-[laughs]

Um, Trix, there are, uh, some things that we need to talk about.

It's okay, Mom. I learned today that grown-ups make mistakes too. And I forgive you.

Oh.

Well, that is nice of you to say.

And, um, you're right, you know, everybody does make mistakes, but it's important that we own up to our mistakes when we make them.

I'm sorry for what I did at school.

I'm glad to hear you say that. You know, I'm sorry too, for my mistakes and, um... I really should have realized that you're not a little kid anymore. You're beautiful, smart--

I can tell you're sad, Mom.

I know you can. Even when I'm not willing to admit it to myself. I know, honey.

Denial. It happens to the best of us.

[laughs]

Yes.

You're right.

[sighs]

You're so smart.

You know, when you were younger, I... I tried to protect you, to shield you from difficult feelings, and situations.

But I think now, maybe, the best thing that I can do for you is to let you in and, um, and admit that... Mom doesn't always feel so strong inside.

You're upset about Lucifer.

Aren't you?

[smacks lips]

Well... the truth is, is, um... things between Lucifer and me, they are a little up in the air right now.
And, uh, I'm not sure if we will, uh, end up as partners or friends, or something more, but, uh, if he and I are gonna try and figure this out... I have to tell him my real feelings.

And then what's gonna happen?

[exhales]

[sighs]

I don't know.

And that's a little scary.

And I'm sure it's scary for you too, right?

But here's the thing, Trix.

No matter what happens, and no matter if you're ... or ... if the Earth gets hit by an asteroid made of rock candy and the sky starts raining down gumdrops... me and your dad will always be your parents.

And we will always love you, no matter what.

Promise?

Promise.

[glasses clink]

I will miss the buzz.

You're all-powerful again, Dad, so can't you just buzz yourself?

[chuckles]

We need to talk.

[sighs]

Okay.

Father, what is it?

Lucifer was right.

Twice in one millennium.

Will wonders never cease?

[God]

It's not just the music. Or the fact that I misplaced my powers.

The truth is, I've been slipping for quite a while. For longer than I'd like to admit.
I guess you get your denial from your father.

What denial?

[chuckles]

Kidding. Mostly.

Now, let's just keep this between the three of us, for now.

Shall we?

Father, what are you saying?

I think it's time.

Time for what?

Time for me to retire.

-Dad.

-Dad, uh...