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07x12 - Older

Posted: 06/11/21 08:04
by bunniefuu
Previously on "Younger"...

I think Charles is gonna propose to Quinn.

- I love him, Maggie.

It's not right to stand in his way.

I don't think he's offering you enough.


Everyone likes a push-up contest.



- Dad?

- I think he's having a heart att*ck.

I had the greatest doctor.

He saved my life.


Lauren, Denise, hey.

Good to see you guys again.

- I couldn't get on that plane.

- What?


Because I was with the wrong person.



♪ ♪ ♪ Maintain safety ♪

I know that our path has been rocky and that it's taken me a while to get here, but...

You don't have to explain anything.

I just know what makes me happy.

And to pretend anything else would be just lying to myself.

I think I've told enough lies for the both of us.

Only the truth from now on.

Even if it hurts.

Only the truth.


I should do the walk of shame back to my apartment before the girls wake up.

I'm sure things are already confusing enough.


I know.




♪ ♪ ♪ I'm throwing caution to the wind ♪

- ♪ I don't care about the risk ♪

- Liza?



I was just dropping something off for your dad.

I'm so glad you're here.


Me too, sweetheart.

Me too.




♪ La da da dee da dee di ♪ ♪ Like la da da dee di ♪ ♪ There's a swagger in the way I move ♪ ♪ The way, in the way I move ♪ ♪ ♪

Someone didn't come home last night.

I know.


It's a long story.

I was about to call the police at : a.m.

I mean, what happened?

Charles and Quinn take off to paradise, and you spend the night in some dive bar somewhere?

Um... not exactly.

Charles didn't get on the plane.

Maggie, he told me that he loved me.

- And...


It's Cass.

- Oh, hold that thought.

- Okay.

Good morning, Cass.

Listen, Maggie, now that your career is bl*wing up, thanks in no small part to yours truly, I'd like my sculpture back.

Well, that's fair.

It's here.

You can come pick it up anytime.

I don't have time to schlep to Brooklyn.

Can you send it to me?

And please sign it, 'cause now, it may actually be worth something.

Yeah, no, I'm not sending the sculpture.


Just bring it to dinner then.

Wait, did I miss an invitation?

For what?



Yeah, sure.

I'll have dinner with you.

We'll figure everything out then.

My treat.

I'll send you the deets.


- Is everything okay?

- Yeah.


She wants to take me to dinner.

Like I owe her something.

She wants to take you to dinner?

Yeah, we have a complicated history, Liza.

I mean, I don't think I need to explain that kind of thing to you.

All right, touché.

Anyway, I'm just glad that you're home safe.

And as far as the rest of the story goes, may I just say, I don't understand straight people.

Y'all are crazier than the gays.



♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ Hey, hey ♪

- Hey.

- Hey.

So I got some interesting feedback from some VCs this morning about INKubator.


When did that happen?

- Well...

- Hi.


Dad is out of the hospital and doing great.

Just a little myocardial infarction, but he'll be fine.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.

- Thank God.

- Oh, my God.

I'm so glad he's okay.

I know, I know, I know.

But the big headline here is that the doctor who saved his life was Max.

Max Max?

Like, the guy you dumped for being basic?

Mm-hmm, and who I'm now having erotic dreams about.

Isn't this, like, too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence?

I feel like the universe is shaking me and being like, "Wake up, girl!

"Just pay attention!

"The man saved your father's life "and he made you spooge in your sleep.

Like, what more of a sign do you need?" You know what I mean?

Sometimes life gives you a second chance.

God, Liza, you are so wise.

How did I not see that before?


our investors from Chicago are a mercurial bunch.

A few months ago, they decided not to commemorate the hundredth anniversary of Empirical.

We're putting commemorative stickers

- on all of our fall releases.

- Uh-huh.

And now they want to have a party.

- Next week.

- What?

- Next week?

- That's impossible.

Yeah, it's just an excuse to have an all-expense paid trip to New York on the company's dime, so even a small dinner is fine.

Let's not knock ourselves out.




I'm not so hung up on birthdays anyway.

Isn't he supposed to be in Mustique with Quinn?

He missed the plane.

To be at the party.

Do you see?

That's what I'm saying.

That's how the universe works.

There are no accidents.

And this will not be a small party.

Let's see...


♪ ♪



We have your dream writer, Azealia King, waiting in the conference room to discuss her new book with us.


I'll be right there.



Azealia, I have been in this business for a long time, and rarely have I encountered a voice as timely and as relevant as yours.

Thank you, but it's only been one book.


- Three essays, four short stories, and that free verse you did for Oprah's Vision Tour, presented by Weight Watchers.

And I loved what I heard at INKubator the other night.

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

I thought that was just a workshop thing.

I didn't know the suits were there.

Charles may be wearing a suit, but he isn't a "suit."

He is a deeply creative and artistic soul.

That's what makes us different here.



Let's cut to the chase.

Azealia doesn't like the big publishing company model.

She likes how you're breaking it.

Tearing down the old patriarchal structure,

- blah, blah, blah.

- Yeah, I love this deal where you drop a new chapter every week.

I love it too.

And it's as old as Dickens.

He used to serialize his novels in the London newspapers.

I'm not sure the Victorian era is the best reference for what we're doing here.


I just cannot go back to that old-school publishing model.

Then let us offer you an alternative that we have been developing.

A paid app where the chapters drop weekly.

Or whatever time frame suits you.

With audio narration as an option.

It is an e-book and a podcast wrapped up together, and we would launch the app with you.

There's a huge incentive to being first.

Like "House of Cards," Netflix.

Yeah, let's keep "House of Cards" out of this.

- It didn't end so well.

- Uh, "Orange is the New Black." Ooh, that's what got me streaming.

- Right?

- Well, we'd like to see this app before we commit to anything.


It's almost finished.

Maybe we could demo something by next week?

Sooner is better.

Azealias don't stay in bloom forever.

Honey, that shit is starting to get tiresome.


I gotta be me.

Kelsey, could you give Azealia a quickie tour?

I just need a moment with these two.

Oh, it would be my pleasure.

And Liza, I will see you for lunch afterwards.


- Thanks.

- All right, see you in a sec.

So I have a proposition.

We are prepared to do what it takes here.

Oh, no, not her.

She's as good as yours.

Yeah, the app thing's really got her fired up.

It's like you reinvented the wheel.

- Thank you.

- I said reinvented.


Charles is right.

Dickens did it first over a hundred years ago.

And podcasts are really just radio.


So good on you!

Anyway, since we're talking "everything old is new again," I have an investment opportunity for you.

My boyfriend of months, the incomparably talented Austin Pinkner, has written a new musical.

There's a backers audition tonight.

Now, the theater world is hermetically sealed.


They don't welcome outsiders.

But I have convinced Austin to reserve you a tranche.


How much are they looking for?

I'll let you know.

Don't get greedy.


Plus, it's always good to be in on the joke.

- What's the joke?

- Come see it.

We'll talk after.

Curtain's at : .


Did I just agree to invest in a musical?

Damn, he's good.

♪ ♪ Hey.

- What's the big news?

- Hey.

So Rob sent the INKubator proposal to some of his VC friends just to get a valuation.

And this thing is worth way more than what Charles is thinking.

How much more?

I don't know, but there could be a bidding w*r.

This is our moment.

We are gonna leave Empirical and start INKubator.

And Azealia's gonna come with us.

I already talked to her after the meeting.

Wait, shouldn't we at least give Charles the chance to match any offer?

Use the leverage to keep it in-house?

Liza, you know how frustrated I've been at Empirical.

We both have.

And I can't imagine how it's been for you, working beside your ex and seeing him with someone else.

That's the thing.

Charles and I are...

finding our way back to each other.



- When did this happen?

- It just did.

And I know.

I know it seems crazy.

But I'm in love with him.

And I love this company.

It has given me everything, Kels.

I can't leave.

But I understand that you have to.


This app is all you.

You have risked so much to make it happen.

You deserve to fly.

So what does this mean for us?

We're gonna be competitors?

I don't wanna lose you like I lost Zane.

Kelsey, when we met, you said you had my back.

And I never forgot it.

So believe me when I tell you I will always have yours.



This is business, so don't make me cry.

I know Charles is going to be disappointed, but he'll understand.

Just do me one favor, okay?

- Of course.

- Don't break the news to him until after the Empirical anniversary party.

No problem.

I want him to enjoy it.

And I wanna celebrate it too.

♪ ♪ My God.


Look how far we've come.


♪ ♪ Did you ever think you'd be investing in Broadway?

I'm not sure this is investing.

It's more like creative extortion.


Hello, friends and deep-pocketed business associates.

First, I wanna begin by introducing you to the genius behind what you are about to love, the incomparably talented Austin Pinkner.

- Come on out here, handsome.


♪ Thank you all for being here ♪ ♪ I can't wait for you to see ♪ ♪ Everything you see tonight was written all by me ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

- Hey.


That was good.

All right.

You're not in the chorus anymore.

And now, without further ado, I bring you...




Blood tests.


Hedge funds.

Soul sister.

Blood tests.


Hedge funds.

ALL: ♪ Soul sister ♪

- Blood tests.

- Bahamas.

- Hedge funds.

- Soul sister.

- Blood tests.

- Bahamas.

- Hedge funds.

- Soul sister.

ALL: ♪ We are the scammers ♪ ♪ We're famous scammers ♪ ♪ We earned your trust, but it's all a lie ♪ ♪ We got discovered ♪ ♪ Our cons were shuttered ♪ ♪ It's not our fault that you got shanghaied ♪ ♪ I'm Elizabeth Holmes, and I promised folks ♪ ♪ That I could study their blood ♪ ♪ But it was all a big hoax ♪ ♪ I'm Billy McFarland, and I lied and conspired ♪ ♪ To take all your cash for my festival, Fyre ♪ - Oh, yeah, baby! - [BOTH WHOOP]

♪ I'm Bernie the banker ♪ ♪ My net worth was amazing ♪ ♪ 'Cause I stole from my clients ♪ ♪ And made off with their savings ♪ ♪ My girls call me Rachel ♪ ♪ It's a lot to unpack ♪ ♪ But I'm white as hell ♪ ♪ But told the world I was Black ♪ ALL: ♪ Stole tons of money ♪ ♪ Betrayed their trust ♪ ♪ Now here's a girl who's as awful as us ♪

- ♪ Though she didn't steal ♪

- ♪ Really? ♪ ♪ And she sure ain't no k*ller ♪

- ♪ Okay ♪

- ALL: ♪ She's one shady b*tch ♪ ♪ It's Lizalot Miller ♪ ♪ I had a kid ♪ ♪ That's when I left the workforce ♪ ♪ years later ♪ ♪ Plus one divorce ♪ ♪ I needed a job, whoa ♪

- ♪ But they said ♪

- ALL: ♪ You're too old! ♪ ♪ Which led to the lie I so famously told ♪ ♪ My secret's out now, and though it created a fuss ♪ ♪ Ya gotta give it up for this girl from Paramus ♪


- ♪ Who would've thought ♪ ♪ That just 'cause of my Cesarian ♪ ♪ I'd end up a lyin', cheatin', schemin' quadragenarian ♪ ♪ We are the scammers ♪ ♪ We're famous scammers ♪

ALL: ♪ We're thieves and frauds ♪ ♪ Give us what you've got ♪ ♪ We got discovered ♪ ♪ Our cons were shuttered ♪

ALL: ♪ It's not our fault that we scam a lot ♪

Big finish!

ALL: ♪ It's not our fault ♪ ♪ That we scam ♪ ♪ A lot ♪



Well, at least the woman portraying you was talented.


And that's some company I'm in.

Elizabeth Holmes and Bernie Madoff.

As a condition of my investment, I told Redmond that he would have to cut you from that number.


What did he say?

"For a price, anything is possible."


- You see?

What'd I tell you?

It's extortion.

I'm not worth it.

You are.


I'm gonna sleep at my place tonight.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

I love you.

I love you too.

- Here.

- Oh.


- Good night.

- Good night.


♪ ♪ ♪ Shining like a work of art ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Hanging on a wall of stars ♪

- ♪ ♪

- ♪ Are you what I think ♪ ♪ You are? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Maybe you will always be ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Just a little out of reach ♪ ♪ ♪


♪ ♪



You wanna have dinner in Harlem?

What'd you do, pick a restaurant a block from your house?

No, it's not about who's paying.



I just...

whatever is good for you, okay?

I told you, I am not bringing Kamila's tits to dinner.


I'll see you tonight.

- Cass?

- Who else?

I mean, first she tries to k*ll my career, and now she's annoying me to death.

So I just got some crazy news.

I-I did something behind Charles's back that hopefully he'll be happy about.

Oh, God, what'd you do to that poor man now?

I submitted his unfinished book, "The Miseducation of Henry Cane," to Yaddo.

- And, Maggie, he got in.

- Yadda yadda what?

Yaddo, the prestigious writers' colony.

Everyone from John Cheever to Philip Roth, Jonathan Franzen, Flannery O'Connor, they've all spent time there.

The list, it goes on and on, and...


Well, obviously, we have different definitions of the word "crazy."



No, I don't have any food allergies.

Is this dinner or an inquisition?


♪ ♪ Good morning.

Good morning.


I, um...

I have something to confess, and I hope you won't be mad.


Liza, as long as you are being honest, I can never be mad.


A few months ago, I secretly submitted your book, blind, without your name, to Yaddo.

And they accepted you.




That is surprising news.

They recognized your talent.

I really hope you do this for yourself.

Take the time to finish your book, even if it means we're apart for a few months.

Excuse me.




Have you had a chance to review my proposal for INKubator?

I would love to make the announcement together at the party.

Um, Charles, it's the hundredth anniversary.

I don't wanna steal Empirical's thunder.

Not at all.

You're making us more relevant.

♪ ♪ Hey, you told me not to say anything, and I didn't, but I cannot have Charles make that announcement.

- I know.

I'll take care of it.

- I really need you to.

I will.

I promise.




- Amazing.


This entire company started when my grandfather won the foreign rights to a Fitzgerald short story in a poker game.



Who could've imagined?

He was a disrupter.

Like you and Kelsey, with INKubator.

Before we go in, there's something that I need to tell you.


Something else?

Kelsey sent the INKubator proposal to a bunch of VCs for valuation.

Was this before or after she gave it to me?

I don't know.

But the bottom line is, Kelsey wants to take INKubator out on her own.

I see.

I asked her not to tell you yet because I didn't want anything to spoil your evening, but...

Kelsey's going to leave Empirical.

And you?

I'm not going anywhere.

And I'm not leaving you.

Liza, I knew that Kelsey sent the proposal to outside investors.

You knew?

Why didn't you say anything?

I wanted to hear it from you first.

Wait, so you were testing me?


In a way, I was.

But you passed.

Come on.



♪ ♪ Oh, my God, I am so proud of us.

This feels like my Hot Mitzvah all over again.



Can you believe it's been a hundred years?

Yeah, and you've barely been working here a hundred minutes.


Hey, say hello to my hot date.

- Denise!


- Sweetheart, I am so impressed.

I mean, all I wanna do is read, read, read.


- Okay, okay, calm down, Mommy.

You know, I really wanted to invite Max, but he doesn't know we're back together yet even though astrally, he gave me, like, the most amazing head.

- Oh.

- Honey, get out of your head.

- Call the man.

- Okay, I know.

I'm just...

I wanna find the most romantic spot for our reunion.

Ooh, why don't you "Sleepless in Seattle" him?

Invite him to meet you on the top of the Empire State Building.

No, I mean my generation's romantic spot, but...



Because it is serendipitous that you two bumped into each other.

Plus the frozen hot chocolate.



- You're a genius.



Oh, my God.

It's Max.

He, um... he wants to meet me now.

- Hospital cafeteria.

- Okay.

But-but-but what about... what about the party?

Lauren, go.

Come on.

Love can't wait.

Go, sweetheart.

- Go!

- Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, my God.

But make sure the DJ keeps the energy up, okay?

So let's go have a sh*t?

Oh, yeah.

Juniper berries.

- Yeah.

- It's made of juniper...

- juniper berries.

- I like that idea.


You know what?


- I...

Seriously... seriously, though, I really admire your ability to keep creating art.

Oh, please.

I mean, I have no choice.

It's the only thing I know how to do.

I wanted to be an artist.

But I didn't have the guts.

So I got into teaching instead.

Well, it's never too late.

I mean, you just have to be fearless.

Oh, yeah, I think it is too late.

You are like everything I've always wanted to be.

A true artist.

Thanks, Cass.

And that's probably why when I heard Kamila was hitting on you, it was just too much for my fragile little ego.

- I'm so sorry.

- Just stop.

You know what?

You are too good for her.

Leaving her may be the best thing that ever happened to me because I realized I was defining myself by a hot woman and a prestigious-sounding job.

- Thanks.

- Thank you.

- I got it.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.


- We'll split it.

- Oh, please.


Here, here.



I mean...


This barely covers the cocktails before the wine came.

Then give me the g*dd*mn check.

- I said I was taking you.

- Okay.

It's the least I can do after almost ruining your career.

And then reviving it.

Oh, my.


I will Venmo you.

Stop with that Venmo shit.

I mean, like, I hate that.

How do you get the money out of the phone?

Oh, I don't know what it is.

I have no idea.

I think it's a streaming service.


♪ ♪ - Hey, babe.

- Hi.

- Sorry I'm late.


This is a great party.


It's kind of like my farewell bash.

It's all done.

Charles knows.

Now we just have to figure out who to go with.


These guys.

They're basically tripling what Charles offered you on a first round, plus they've got a sick track record.

Think you've heard of Uber?


I love their valuation.

Uh, what's the % participation to the Triboro Building Corporation?

Isn't that...

isn't that you?

Yeah, that's my piece for putting the deal together.


You're not an investment bank.

- You just sent the email.

- Exactly.

My connections have value.

Are you serious here?

Babe, if you don't wanna do it, don't do it.

Stay with Empirical.

No one's forcing your hand.

But I'm not gonna get screwed here either.

Well, what do you think you're doing to me?

Geez, I thought you'd be thrilled.


You know that if I was offering this deal to a guy,

- there wouldn't even be a question.

- What are you saying?

Just that I feel like you want special privileges for being a woman.

- No offense.

- Oh, none taken.

But you can take your percentage and shave it up your misogynistic ass.


- Excuse me.

- Oh.

What exactly did you say to Charles?

The truth, like you asked me to.

I don't think those outside investors are going to amount to anything.


And also, I have the absolute worst taste in men.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, look, Charles isn't mad.

Just go up and give a speech about how much you love Empirical.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

That's what I'm gonna do.


Excuse me.

Is this on?

Excuse me.


Oh, hi.


Kelsey Peters here.

I just wanna express my gratitude for being part of such an amazing story and publishing history.

Books, literature, stories have always been a passion of mine.

I grew up reading the great authors published by Empirical.

Never once in my dreams did I think that I would be lucky enough to actually work here and help a generation of new writers find an audience.



the day I met you was the luckiest day of my life.

♪ ♪ You took a chance on a young girl with little more than enthusiasm and an English degree from a second-rate college.


To this day, I don't know why you chose me.

♪ ♪ I can't imagine a more brilliant mentor.

You inspire me every day with your determination and passion and genuine love for what you do.

And if I've learned one thing from you, it's that in order to succeed, you must take a risk.

And that's why I'm ready to take one of my own.

You're my family.

You always will be.

But it's time for me to write my next chapter.

And just know that no matter what my future holds, I owe it all to you.


♪ ♪ I'm happy for her.


I guess she really did get her funding.

Yeah, I guess she did.

Thanks for dinner.

I had a really nice time.

I had a great time too.

So nice to make a new friend.

It's not easy at this age.

- Yeah.

Well, this is me.

- Oh.

- Uh...


- Good night.

- Good night.

♪ Catch your breath ♪ ♪ And take a moment to assess ♪

I really like you, you know that?

I really like you too.

And you still owe me a pair of tits.

You know where to find 'em, hot stuff.

♪ We're at the gate ♪

And don't forget, be fearless.

♪ Play ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪


♪ ♪ Wait.

Is everything okay?



What was that for?

I was just taking your advice.

Being fearless.


♪ ♪ English breakfast tea.

Two Splendas, right?

Oh, my God, you remember.

Of course.

I remember everything about our time together.

Max, I have not been able to stop thinking about you since you saved my father's life.

Oh, it's nothing a first-year resident couldn't have done.

Yes, but you did it, and I...

I don't know.

I just feel like it's the universe's way of bringing us together.

Lauren, there hasn't been a day I haven't thought about you.

And at first, it was because I was hurt.

- But...

- Yeah.

Then I thought about how authentically you lived your life, and whenever I had an issue, I thought, WWLD?


What would Lauren do?

Oh, my God, Max!

I'm gonna cry.

And I thought Lauren would trust her real, honest feelings and would never question anything that stretched the capacity of the human heart.



That's why I'm so happy we found each other again.

- Oh, my God, me too.

- I have been dying...

to introduce you to my fiancé.



Hi, Lauren.

I have heard so much about you.

- Hey.

- Hey.

You know, but I never imagined petite.

I always thought you'd be a little more...

you know...

- Zaftig?

- Yeah.


- Ah.

Well, I am Shelley Winters on the inside.


- I told you.

I told you she's funny.


So how did you two...

Oh, well, I had my eyes on this one - for years.


- Aww.

So I wanna thank you for encouraging this fabulous man to be exactly who he is.

- Aww.


I'm kvelling.


I mean, gay men are really the only guys I can get behind.


And actually...


I would be more than happy to get behind both of you.

Are you open?

She's so funny.

- She's not kidding.

- Yeah, no, I'm not kidding.

Come on, guys.



♪ ♪ Nice night.

Yeah, it really was.

You're gonna have your hands full without Kelsey.


I know.

It's gonna be weird having her as a competitor.

Oh, I think your friendship can handle it.

I'm just glad you told me.

Yeah, me too.

- Good night.

- Good night.


If I hadn't gotten into Yaddo, would you have let me know?


I don't know.

Maybe not.


Yeah, why bother?

Since I didn't even know you applied.

Would've just been your little secret.




♪ ♪ We're not gonna make it, are we?

♪ ♪ I don't think so.

♪ It's just like breathing underwater ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ Never gonna let go ♪

So now I have this amazing company and no investor.

Can't believe I didn't realize Rob was such a manipulative tool.

Oh, I could've told you that.

But unfortunately, that's the opinion you've always had of me, so...


Clare, I am so sorry.


I hope that you can forgive me.

I do.

I'm just...

I'm sorry you had to find out the hard way.

Forgive me for getting so upset?

Oh, my God, you had every right to be.

And I'm only staying here a short time.

- I promise.

- Well, when you get tired of listening to Gemma cry all night here, you can always come and listen to her at my place.

I've got a fold-out couch that's pretty comfy.

Thank you.

Oh, of course.

After all, we tunnel sisters have to stick together.


- Right.

- Bye, Gemma.

- Bye.

- Come get her tomorrow, Daddy.

- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah.


Let's go.


- Bye.

- Bye.

She's pretty great.


You know, her pull-out might be more comfortable than sleeping in bed with Lauren.


- Um...

Yeah, about that.

I kinda think you and Lauren should just have this place for yourselves.



Where are you gonna go?

Um... Landlord here's going through a pretty nasty divorce and needed to sell quickly, so I put in an offer.



- Like, on the whole building?

- Uh-huh.

It's four apartments plus Inkburg, so...

That's amazing.


And amazingly expensive.

A whole entire building in Williamsburg?

Yeah, well, I mean, I'm doing pretty well, so...

- Oh.

- Plus it's, like, an insane deal.

I couldn't say no.

I could always just pull the offer and invest in you and your company.

I'm serious.

Come on.

Hey, I really believe in you, Kels.

That means so much to me.

But I can't let you do that.


I'm gonna figure it out, I promise.

Okay, I gotta go downstairs and open up, but if you need anything, holler, neighbor.

- Okay, landlord.






No way.

♪ ♪ No way.

♪ ♪ Wow.

Where did that come from?


Belonged to my grandfather.

- It's beautiful.

- Hmm.

Did he win that in a poker game too?




But he did give it to me when I went to college.

I actually banged out the first half of "Henry Cane" on this thing.

Something about striking the keys inspires me.

It's like playing an instrument.

I love it.

It's very old-school.


Well, that's me.

Old-school kinda guy.

Um, Liza, sit down.


We need to talk about the working arrangement here.


I think that as Empirical goes into this next chapter, I'm gonna have to make some changes.

I was thinking the same thing.

I figured you'd want me to tender my resignation.

Well, um...

you know I would give you the best references.

I appreciate that.

But we're not gonna do that dance again.

Kelsey is gone, and I need someone to run this place while I am at Yaddo.



And maybe longer, depending on how things go.

I've spent enough years looking over other writers' shoulders.

You don't think it's too late to start a second career, do you?





♪ ♪ Thank you.

No, Liza.

Thank you.


- No.

- Yes.

I was sandwiched between them.


- Okay.

- Girl, work.

- So you...


So you don't have just one guy, you have two.

- Yes.

- So are you in a throuple?

Liza, throuple, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

That is so your generation.

Listen, I am free and I am happily non-heteronormative.

Well, honey, stay that way because when love finally bites you in the ass, there ain't nothing you can do about it.

Wait a minute, did I just hear you say you're in love?

I don't know.

I don't know.

But you know what they say about love and hate.

It's two sides of the same coin.

And, you know, I guess that means there's gotta be something there.


- Ahh!

To Maggie in love!


To Maggie in love.

Oh, I'm gonna be miserable for the rest of my life.


Hi, guys.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

I just heard the news.


- Congratulations!

I couldn't be happier.

Yes, say hello to the new editor in chief of Empirical.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Whose first order of business is hiring you back.

Okay, well, I actually have some news of my own.

I found a backer for my company.

- Oh, my God.

- Fantastic.

Yes, they heard about it and just contacted me out of the blue.

- Who?

- It's someone we've worked with for years.

Who loves and supports women and female voices, and they've been right under our nose this entire time.

I can't believe I didn't think to ask!

- Who?


- Come on!

Give it up!

- Hello Sunshine.


- What?!

- Reese Witherspoon's company.

They love me, and they love my business plan.

They wanna take a huge equity stake in INKubator.

- Kelsey, this is incredible!

I knew...

- This is awesome!

There's one catch.

You have to play "Legally Blonde" on a loop?


The company is not gonna be based in New York.

So I'm moving to Los Angeles.


- Okay.

I'm shook.


But I am so proud of you, baby.


I'm coming to visit.

- Get a pool.


And I am going to get us another round of drinks.

- Please.

- Kelsey, this is so... amazing.

- All right.

- Ahh, it's fabulous!

How did this happen?


Excuse me?







- I need some help over here.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.


You don't wave a shoe.

- Oh.

- You never wave a shoe.

You know, in Thailand, that's considered a capital offense.

And you've been to Thailand?

Ah, no.

But I have been to Myanmar.

Which used to be Burma.

- Back in the day.

- I knew that.



I didn't see you there.


Because you know what?

I've been right here, by your side, all along.



So are these real, or...

- Yeah.

- Can you wash 'em off?


I mean, this arm is actually all fake.


- None of these are real.

- None of those are real?

- This is all real.

Oh, so you could technically wash all those off.

♪ But no one listens to me, so I put it in this song ♪ ♪ And I say oh ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ I say yeah ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ They don't know ♪