01x00 - The iCarly Reunion

Episode scripts for the TV show, "iCarly". Aired: June 17, 2021 to present.*

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Carly and her friends are in their twenties as they learn to balance work, home and their social life.
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01x00 - The iCarly Reunion

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, everyone.

I'm back.

[MUSIC]

♪ I know you see ♪

- Rolling?

- Rolling.

Come look at this!

He uploaded us!

[SOFT CHATTER]

Thirty-seven-thousand!

- [SCREAMING]

- My baby sister's a web star!

I'm Carly Shay, and this is a little show we call "iCarly".

- [GASPING]

- [SCREAMING]

[CHEERING]

I know it's been a while, but you guys are in for something really exciting.

We're starting a channel.

- Whoa!

- Wow!

To Carly.

- Aah!

- Kind of seems like we never left.

Ladies and gentlemen, Creddies and Seddies, welcome to the "iCarly" reunion.

I'm your host Hunter March, and we've got a lot to cover, so without further ado, please help me welcome the stars of "iCarly", Nathan Kress, Jerry Trainor, and Miranda Cosgrove.

- Thank you.

- Thanks for having us.

- At our home.

- [LAUGHING]

I just can't believe how little you looked.

Stop talking about it!

You looked so little.

All right, we're all excited for the new "iCarly", but we can't look forward without first looking back.

Take a look.

We love "iCarly".

It's bedtime for...

BOTH: Baby Spencer!

That's me!

Main lobby.

- [AIRHORN]

- Aah!

What the yuck?!

Hold up, Giblets.

That skunk bag!

Shoosh yeah, I got it!

How was I supposed to know the goat would do that?

Don't talk about what the goat did!

- What did the goat do?

- T-Bo!

- Dad!

- Hey, Snug Bug.

Oh!

Go to Italy.

Go with Dad.

- I love you.

- I love you too, kid.

"iCarly" 's gonna be taking a break.

CARLY: Doing "iCarly" for you guys has meant so, so much to me.

And... it's changed my life.

Best Web Comedy Show... "iCarly"!

CARLY: To the fans of "iCarly", thank you.

- There's some feels in that.

- Yeah.

- Yeah...

- what was it like sh**ting that final elevator ride?

It was very difficult.

It was very hard.

For me, especially, because I had seen them grow up.

And it was like, this is all over.

- It...

It was very sad.

- This is all over.

- [LAUGHING]

- I remember one thing for sure.

I'm...

I'm really bad at crying on cue.

I've never been able to do it, and I was supposed to cry in the scene with Jerry when we're saying "bye" to each other.

And that was the easiest cry in the entire world.

- Oh, yeah.

- Like, I was...

I could not stop crying.

It was actually the opposite.

- It was hard to stop crying.

- It was hard to stop.

- It was hard to stop.

- Yeah.

We were saying goodbye to each other.

- Yeah.

We were lucky to have that.

- Really, you know?

- Yeah, that's because...

- A lot of shows don't get that.

- Right.

- What relationship from the show is the one that fans still talk to you about the most?

People think Jerry is really my brother in real life.

- Oh, really?

- So, I get a lot, like, "Where's Spencer?" I also get, um, "Are you really best friends with Sam in real life?" I get that one, and, like, Jennette and I have gone many places together, so sometimes people, like, get excited.

You mentioned Jennette McCurdy, who's not here today, but I do want to know, what was your guys' favorite moment with her?

Because obviously Sam was such an important part of the show as well.

Ooh, there were a lot of fun moments with Jennette.

We had to dunk our heads in ice in an episode, and when we were out on that scaffolding, we were always kind of in it together, having to do the craziest, weirdest things.

We had to do so much physical gags together.

We had to build kind of a lot of trust in each other to, like, take care of each other during those bits, and that sort of gave us kind of a bond and relationship that we sort of had to work off of kind of for the whole course of the show.

"iCarly" had this very special language.

- English.

- Is that what it is?

- That's what it is.

- [LAUGHTER]

You guys had all your own words and...

and kind of this language that your audience took on.

What term was your favorite?

I like "jank".

Jank is good because...

and I know that it's my favorite because I use it frequently

- in my day-to-day life, yeah.

- In real life?

- I use "chiz" in real life sometimes.

- Really?

- No way.

- Yeah, my mom was like, "Don't say that".

- [LAUGHTER]

- I like "what the yuck"

- from Mrs. Benson.

- Oh, that was a good one.

- Yeah, that's a good one.

- Yeah, what the yuck.

But it... because of the way she says it.

- "What the yuck?!" - "... the yuck?!" Yeah.

I want to know about the incident with the goat.

It was Carly's worst birthday ever.

But I want to know what really happened.

What is the trauma?

So, I have absolutely no idea what happened to Carly, other than it must have been something really bad, but, just by freak coincidence, the writers did not know this, when I was three, I was in a petting zoo, and a goat gored my eyebrow.

So, in real life, I had a very bad goat experience.

So, that's why you look like this?

[LAUGHING]

Well, yeah, so do you have a scar there?

I do.

I have a scar on this eyebrow that I fill in.

I am with three incredible, poised, mature individuals But that wasn't always the case.

Take a look.

So, what are we doing for dinner?

- We are celebrating.

- With spaghetti tacos!

- [CHEERING]

- ♪ I'm cooking ♪

♪ I'm cooking things, things that people will chew ♪

What?

Noodles can't live happily in a hard corn shell?

I've never had spaghetti tacos before.

[RETCHING]

[RETCHING]

- Just buy a bell pepper!

- No!

- Four-fifty.

- T-Bo!

- Buck a piece.

- We don't want any bagels.

I'll sell you the whole stick... five dollars.

You can't put tacos on a stick, they'll break.

Perfect timing, I think my loaf of bread is just about done...

[SCREAMING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

- [CACOPHONOUS PLAYING]

- Aah!

Ahh, man, I just bought this broom!

- There was so much fire.

- That was insane.

And the thing was engulfed.

It was just like...

aah!

Yeah, that was... that's a lot of fire, for sure.

And it was also a lot of crazy food.

What was your favorite food to eat?

And why was it spaghetti tacos?

Yeah, it's... that's the only answer.

- You've answered your question.

- Spaghetti tacos.

Yeah.

I get a message on the regular of people sending me pictures of, like, "Mm, it's spaghetti taco night".

- I get it tweeted every day.

- Yeah.

- Didn't you make some not that long ago?

- I did.

How were they?

Deli... it's delicious.

There's a lot of physical comedy in the show... has anyone ever been hurt?

Yeah!

All the time.

Did you get hurt?

Come on...

I'd never not get hurt.

[LAUGHTER]

Kids used to kick you because they thought

- that you... they could hurt you.

- Yes.

- Yeah, they'd just come up...

- [LAUGHTER]

and they'd kick me in the shins 'cause they think I don't feel pain because I'm always falling down.

All of that combined somehow made one of the most successful shows of all time.

- How does that feel?

- It wasn't until, like, what, like, the third or fourth season that it really started to pick up even more?

Or maybe that's just when I realized a lot of people

- were watching it?

- Yeah, I think...

well, the thing is too, right around the third and fourth season is when social media

- was really starting to become so prevalent.

- Yeah.

That's really when it sort of took on...

kind of the meta of what we were doing on the show of "iCarly" of being this internet-focused thing for kids to engage with... that really started happening in real life, too, right around that time.

What did you miss the most?

I just missed hanging out with you guys every day.

Because even though we still talked and everything, it's just not the same as being on set and working together to try to make people laugh, and it's just a whole different experience doing this.

Coming to set every day and working with people you know and love and have good chemistry with is... is the dream.

And it's like, there's just nothing better.

We're back in the studio with Jerry Trainor, Nathan Kress, and Miranda Cosgrove, but the world of "iCarly" was so goofy and creative that there's a lot of ground to cover.

So many inside jokes, so many memories, and so many kisses.

Now it's time to take a look back at some of the show's more romantic moments.

Jerry, do you have your fire extinguisher ready?

[MIMICS SPRAY BOTTLE]

You dropped this.

Um, thanks, but you...

I was gonna walk you home from school, but I couldn't find you.

Hey!

Just you and me, together, alone.

I'm in love with you, you just wanna be friends, and I'm totally cool living with that constant pain.

Everyone at school is saying you're a hero.

I don't feel like a hero.

You are one.

to me.

Come here.

Anybody who's ever even been to iCarly.com can easily see that Carly and Freddie are in love.

- No, we're not.

- We really aren't.

Hi.

Hey.

Hey, cuteness.

All right, let's cool it with the public display of affection.

So, we should

- hang out sometime.

- [GULPING]

Could you just interview me about the...

Nevel!

- Hey.

- [CHUCKLING]

[SCREAMING]

Good seeing you again.

Back at ya.

CARLY: Uh...

This is all I can give you right now.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

I'm sorry I painted your mouth red.

I'm sorry I painted your mouth blue.

- Wanna make purple?

- Please.

Deirdra!

Who's she?

- [LAUGHTER]

- What is it like looking back on all those smooches?

I have two funny memories.

A, my first kiss I ever had in my whole life was with James Maslow in the episode where he was in a hospital bed, and I had to kiss him while he was unconscious.

My second kiss I ever had in my entire life was with Nathan on the show.

Nathan had, like, a girlfriend

- or a girl he liked...

- That's right!

and she was there on set that day!

- Yes!

- Watching us kiss.

And it was so awkward!

Nathan, what was it like to be caught in the middle of maybe one of the most vicious TV wars of all time with the Creddies and the Seddies?

- In a word, petrifying.

- [LAUGHING]

People had strong, strong feelings about who should end up with who.

It's Seddie or Creddie, dude.

- Do you have a thing?

- I don't know.

Well, make up your damn mind, how's that sound?

- Do it.

- Okay, look, I think that Seddie is potentially more interesting as a relationship, because there's so much more of the butting heads.

- Now, Creddie.

- The whole unrequited love thing really needs to be reconciled.

It's really, she's gotta make up her mind.

So, go, Miranda, go.

I love both, I think.

- No!

- No!

No!

- [LAUGHING]

- I like the idea of Sam and Freddie because Sam had a hard upbringing, and she nev...

she was always giving you a hard time,

- being mean to you.

- Mm-hm.

You guys have totally different backgrounds, and you come together, and you end up

- really liking each other in a lot of the episodes.

- Right.

So, from that viewpoint, I like you guys together.

- But...

- BOTH: But...

I also think it's cute because you always liked me on the show, and I think Carly does like you, so...

[LAUGHING]

... that could be.

I'm sweating.

We'll avoid the Creddie / Seddie for a minute.

- Okay.

- And we'll go to the guest characters that you guys were romantically linked to.

Which, after seeing that, were plentiful.

Who was your favorite romantic link?

I liked the girl from the tuxedo.

- Mm-hm.

- She was, like, beautiful, and I was just like...

[GRUNTING]

... and I couldn't talk to her in real life.

But in no world...

- would she ever.

- No, she was feeling it.

- No, she...

- She was feeling it.

- Bro.

- Nathan seems convinced.

Was there ever a romantic guest for you that you were like, "Oh, my God"?

Mm, I don't know, I can't just pick one.

- They're all...

- Come on.

No, you can.

- You can do it.

- No, I can't.

Okay, Harry Styles.

MEN: Yes!

- He's watching this.

- [LAUGHING]

Millions of people see Carly Shay as a huge inspiration to what became this world of social media because she kind of was the first one doing it.

Do you feel like an influencer?

I don't feel like an influencer.

Like, when they first came to me with the idea for the show "iCarly", I was like, she has a web show?

Like, what's that?

It was really just a learning experience for... for me.

Because I was learning all about the internet and having a web show and how all of that worked while I was making the show.

Miranda Cosgrove has become, like, a meme in a good way.

- because people really like you, and they think...

- Yeah, I think the memes are the funniest part, probably.

Which was also very much, like, my experience in real life.

Very meta, okay.

Do you think you would've been those kids had you grown up in the age of TikTok?

I would definitely, yeah, oh yeah.

'Cause I was that way growing up.

My buddy had a video camera.

We would make these little horror movies.

Now I have a hope and a dream to find...

to find that video... those videos.

- There's no world...

- You made horror videos?

there's no world where it exists.

- [LAUGHTER]

- Okay, "iCarly" was definitely a cultural phenomenon and welcomed some of television's biggest celebrity guest appearances ever.

Just watch.

Oh, my God, oh, my God, it's iCarly!

It's iCarly!

Hi!

Whoa...

iCarly!

On the internet!

- [GASPING]

- Yeah, yeah!

- You know us?

- Oh, yeah.

Hey, guys!

Is that Missus...

- Oh...

- ... bama.

Obama?

Yeah-huh.

For now you shall watch as your sister

- feels the power...

- Just bite his thumb.

... of a thousand and one...

aah!

Son of a belch, man!

She bit my thumb!

Oh, man!

Wait.

Can I have some more fruits?

Fruit?

Sure.

And could you cut them into the little cubes the way that you do?

Oh, my God... oh, my God, Higgins, come here!

They're talking about us on "iCarly".

Wait, how do I... how do I do this?

Just click that box.

That's Tina Fey!

I love her so much!

You're so knowledgeable.

- Oh, my God!

- [GASPING]

You're a male model?

Well, I was, but I quit modeling because now I'm a lead singer in this really cool band, and...

Carly would hate you.


- But, no...

- Get out of here!

What'd you think about it, Questlove?

Hey, I'm just looking forward to wearing my new hat tonight.

I saw your video about me.

Oh, you did?

Wow.

That's so cool, 'cause...

[SCREAMING]

- MIRANDA: Wait, what?

- What's this?

What is...

You don't remember?

I was having allergies so I covered myself in ointment, and I was scratching myself with, like, scratchers?

Oh, my God.

A lot of incredible special guests.

Who was your favorite guest ever?

I remember how excited we all were when Emma Stone was gonna be on the show.

We were like "what?"

- when that happened.

- JERRY: Yeah.

- NATHAN: Yeah.

- Jack Black I was super-excited to see again.

I think he's hilarious.

Most of his part was with your character.

Yeah, that was a dream come true for me.

I mean, he's the funniest.

Nathan, favorite special guest?

I think having Mrs. Obama on was pretty...

- That was...

- ... pretty nuts.

Like, people can have big guest stars on shows, but you often don't get historical figures.

- Mm.

- You know, like, that was a step... that was a step beyond.

♪ Just call up your friend Millicent ♪

♪ Or go read a book ♪

♪ It's not my job to educate you ♪

♪ Unless you pay me money ♪

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]

Now, hold on.

We are not sweeping any memes until these tees are sold out.

Which reminds me.

I need to do some Instagram Live promo.

What's popping, fashionistas, fashionistos, and fashionist-X's?

This is the perfect time to introduce the two newest members of the cast.

Laci Mosley, who plays Harper, and Jaidyn Triplett, who plays Millicent.

- [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

- Welcome!

Jaidyn, tell us a little bit about your character on the show.

Well, she's definitely ambitious, she's strong-willed, she's hard-working, and she's very obsessed with, like, social media.

So, what's your relationship, for those that don't know yet, with this whole crew?

Freddie is playing my stepdad.

He's pretty good at being a father.

You know, because he's handling his mom, he's handling being an adult, and then he's also handling being a father.

So, I think he's doing pretty good.

Handling being an adult?

- [LAUGHTER]

- Laci, tell us about your character on the show.

So, Harper is Carly's best friend, roommate, she has ambitions beyond where her current station is, but, like a lot of millennials who graduated college and then, you know, have a lot of debt and not a lot of money to pay it with, honey, um, you know, she's got that kind of in-between job, where she's, like, on the way to something else.

So, it's fun to see her, like, grow through that.

She's also fun, she... I think she pushes Carly

- to do things that she wouldn't normally do.

- To be more fun?

[LAUGHTER]

And, for you guys, seeing these new characters on a show that you're so familiar with?

What's it like having two new lives come into your lives?

I just think it's been, like, a breath of, like, fresh air for the show.

Because not only are we getting to see what our characters are like ten years later, but also it's our new friends and, you know, where your life has led you to having a stepchild.

Yeah, yes.

Two divorces.

Going great.

Jerry, older brother?

Working with Laci has been a dream.

[CHUCKLING]

Working with Jaidyn has been a nightmare.

[LAUGHTER]

Fair.

I got you dialed in, dude.

No, it's great, I love the new perspectives.

I love how grown-up the show has become.

The way we can tackle more mature issues and, you know, from... from unique, diverse perspectives.

It's like...

I think it's everything that people are gonna wanna see.

Mm, let's take a quick look at some of what the new series has in store.

In five...

four...

- three...

two...

- [BEEP]

Hey, guys, Miranda Cosgrove here.

This is Jerry Trainor.

- [LAUGHING]

- We look great.

[MUSIC]

We wanted to toe a line between, you know, the familiar and the new, because it can't just be the same old thing.

I'm finally gonna be back online where I belong.

- We'll help however we can.

- Yeah.

NATHAN: And as soon as we got here and got on set and started doing things, everything just felt like it did.

Welcome to the new "iCarly".

- [APPLAUSE]

- I got you.

Ba-bam!

Who wants a Carly meatball-face T-shirt?

Mark.

I thought I was early, but there are

- so many people here.

- They're servers.

I had them dress like guests so my friends wouldn't be all, "Ooh, look at Spencer with his waiters and his remodeled apartment and his Swarovski crystal boxer briefs".

I'm still just a regular guy.

I clearly did it all wrong.

Pursued my dreams, married for love, two divorces and a failed startup later, I'm back living with my mom.

JERRY: It's unique.

It's new dynamics.

It's new problems, new funny situations.

Thank you for teaching me a moral lesson.

It's better than any gift you could've ever gotten me.

Here, take the keyboard.

You're so easy!

It wasn't supposed to catch on fire, was it?

It never is.

Aah!

Tingles!

Is this another one of your "man-me-downs"?

Did we...

- Ahh.

- Here we go!

Ow!

Oh, I think he needs a lot more.

- Some more?

- I... no, that's enough already...

I'm not unamused.

I'm full-on amused.

Are we all looking at the same thing?

ALL: To Carly.

This is so exciting.

You can really taste the gold.

BOTH: It's everything!

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

So, is that your first time seeing that put together

- like that?

- ALL: Yeah.

What has Carly been up to for the last ten years?

Um, apparently Carly stayed in Italy for a while with her dad before she came back.

She went to college, and in the pilot, she's starting up her show again for the first time.

What makes Carly wanna start the show back up?

She hasn't ever really had anything that was just hers.

She's always had a co-host.

And she's never really had to stand just on her own two feet.

You're not living with Spencer in the show anymore.

You're no longer living with your older brother.

- No, I have my own apartment...

- Thank God.

... with Harper, Laci's character.

We're roommates, but we live in the same building with Freddie and Spencer.

And Freddie, who's your roommate again?

- Just so we can hear it?

- Just one more time?

- [LAUGHTER]

- For the cheap seats.

My...

My mother.

- [LAUGHING]

- Your mom, your mom.

What?

What?

I didn't hear it.

- Who else?

- My mother.

- Who else?

- And the...

- most cherished part of my life...

- The fabulous...

the... the dear, delightful Millicent.

- Yes.

- Who's...

Millicent seems to have a love-hate-hate-hate relationship with a lot of people on the show.

- Definitely.

- That's a good way to describe it, yeah.

And Jerry, your character,

- now rich.

- Yeah.

- What's the same, though?

- That's about it.

- The emotional depth has not changed at all.

- ... stay the same.

- [LAUGHTER]

- At all?

He lucked into a bunch of money, and...

he's gotten somehow dumber.

[LAUGHTER]

Is Tuxedo Girl coming back?

Is she available?

- [LAUGHTER]

- I don't know.

What are you all most excited to show fans in this new season?

I think we've had a lot of fun, and I think that... I hope that's gonna come through, and I hope that the people that watch are gonna laugh and have a good time like they did

- when they watched the original series.

- Mm-hm.

I'm excited to show people a side of these characters that is just as funny as it was but much smarter and more mature.

I'm excited for people to see, like, all the camp.

Like, because, like, when I think of "iCarly",

- I think of camp.

- Jaidyn?

I think definitely the different personalities and how they all, like, connect with each other.

- Nathan?

- Just that blend of...

of old and new coming together.

A lot of nostalgia.

A lot of nostalgia.

And bringing people back from the old show.

Guest stars that we had.

A lot of familiar faces.

But even just taking those people and showing them in a completely different light.

It's this really cool thing we're trying to do where it's the same universe but with massively broadened horizons.

We've covered so much, and yet we've only scratched the surface of all the ways we loved the original "iCarly".

Thankfully, the series is right around the corner.

I want to thank Laci Mosley and Jaidyn Triplett for joining us today.

And, of course, thank you to Nathan Kress, Jerry Trainor, and Miranda Cosgrove.

Make sure to watch the new "iCarly" on Paramount Plus June th.

[APPLAUSE]

[MUSIC]
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