04x24 - Love is Love

[bunniefuu]

GRACE: Previously on The Secret
Life of the American Teenager...

Are people looking at me?

Don't people have something better to do

than talk about who's gay and who's not?

You'd be going to a new
school your senior year.

I can get you an
application for the school.

I've thought about kissing a woman.

I've thought about kissing you!

Please. Just let me transfer.

Look, I know it's a lot of money...

You're going to finish at
the school where you started.

I can't believe people think I'm gay.

Maybe we should move the wedding up.

You're curious. I'm curious.

Kiss me.

(GASPS)

It's $1,200 to apply.

You have a credit card?

Just tell me what's going on...

I need you to be my boyfriend
and have sex with me.

Hi, George. How was France?

Do you want to go back to bed with me?

We could just go back
to the way things were.

If you hadn't told Kathleen that I'm
gay and she hadn't told the entire world!

Don't you two have some sort of
agreement to be just with each other?

She and Grace kissed
each other last night.

Just because a girl kisses a
girl does not mean that she's gay!

You're making way too much of this.

If this ever got out...

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Huh.

Hi. How's it going?

I thought you might like the
last piece of cake and some milk.

Because I'm gay?

Jacob's home from school,
isn't he? He told you.

Well... I pressured him,
so it's not his fault.

Just like if you're
gay, it's not your fault.

Of course it's not my fault. It's
nobody's fault. There's no fault involved.

And saying that just implies that
there's something wrong with my being gay.

I... (SIGHS)

I'm just trying to find the right
words to say what I want to say to you.

I mean, if you were blaming
someone, and you're not,

I would hope that you wouldn't blame
me, but you'd blame your father.

Why would I blame him?

The man betrayed you.

He betrayed all of us.

Yeah. But I'm not gay. Obviously.

Can I still live here? What?

If you don't want me to, I understand.

Grace, don't be ridiculous.

I'm your mother, I love you.

So you're okay with me being gay?

I would be okay, yes, but...

To be perfectly honest, I
hope that you're not gay.

But that's only because being gay is
inherently more difficult than being straight,

especially in high
school, I would think.

No, it's not, it's, like, cool to be
gay. I didn't think I was this cool,

I don't even know if I want to
be this cool, but I guess I am.

Or maybe you're not.

Did you kiss Adrian just to be cool?

Well, it did start with a discussion

about how we resent Amy for always
stealing the spotlight from everyone.

By being gay. Yeah.

Only she's not gay, she's
getting married to Ricky,

so that's just a rumor.

Is it? She chose a gay wedding day.

I thought she was getting
married the fourth of July.

Uh, hello! That's a gay holiday.

Since when?

I don't know. I just became gay.

I don't know anything about it yet.

All I know is I kissed
a girl and now I'm gay.

Look. Don't you think you've joined enough
clubs at school without joining this one?

I didn't know there was a
club. Although, I do like clubs,

especially exclusive ones.

So, if I belong, I belong.

Do you belong?

I don't know.

Right, stay with that
thought, that you don't know.

You kissed Adrian, but you
don't know if you're gay.

I mean, maybe you are, maybe you're not.

I think I know you pretty
well, and I don't think you are,

but I could be wrong.

But just live with that for
right now, that you don't know.

I mean, I think that's
okay for you to not know.

But I don't like your having
sex with a girl right now

any more than I like your
having sex with a guy right now.

A kiss is one thing, but
anything more than that, I...

Well...

I would say think about
it a little longer.

Experiment in other ways.

Like? I don't know.

I was way past my comfort zone when
I came through the door with the cake.

I heard you're gay.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Where are they?

Your mom's asleep,
and uh... Ashley is...

I don't know where Ashley is.

Huh. Okay, I'll wait.

You know what, Ames, I'm
going to ask you not to wait.

I want to talk to your mom when she
gets up and I want to talk to her alone.

Because? Because I do.

I'll call you.

Are you going to apologize
for what you told Kathleen?

(SIGHS) Yeah. I am.

Don't tell Mom you're in love with
Kathleen or anything stupid like that.

Because? Because maybe you're not.

Don't say anything that's gonna keep
Mom from ever coming back to you.

I think it might go the other way.

So that you have an excuse
to go back to your first wife?

Dad, it's not true. Mom's
not any more gay than I am.

Look, I know you want to see your mom,
but let me have some time with her, okay?

Oh. Hello.

Hi, Ashley.

I don't really know what to say here.

Well, whatever it is, it
better be something nice.

It gets better.

(SIGHS)

♪ Falling in love is
such an easy thing to do

♪ Birds can do it We can do it

♪ Let's stop talking Let's get to it

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

I got a call from the
credit card company today

questioning a charge for $1,200.

They called you already? Yeah.

Dad, it's really a much better school

and it would be academically challenging
for me. I need to be challenged.

Okay, well, I'm going to
challenge you right here and now.

Charging $1,200 without
telling me about it

really isn't like you,
Ben. It's beneath you.

Was this Dylan's idea?

Dylan? No.

Look, I'm sure Dylan's a lot of fun, but
she's proving to be a very bad influence.

Dad, she's influenced me to try to better
my chances of getting into a good college.

How is that bad?

I'll tell you how,

because you actually want me to
believe that you believe that.

And I don't.

You can choose whatever you
want to believe, Benjamin.

But choose wisely. I
can't choose for you.

Just like I can't choose
who you fall in love with.

But if you could, it wouldn't be Dylan.

No, it wouldn't be Dylan. Which
may push you in that direction,

but I'm going to tell
you what I feel anyway.

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

And...

Is that your phone beeping?

It's an email. From Dylan's school.

I have an appointment
for an interview tomorrow.

(KNOCKING)

Here. I brought some of your other
stuff, just in case you want it.

I don't.

Oh, come on, stop being so
dramatic. It was just a kiss.

A kiss is just a kiss.
So we kissed, who cares?

Is the entire school talking about it?

Yeah. You missed out. It was fun.

I was the star of the show.

You know, we could have been
co-stars but you called in sick.

I don't want that kind of attention.

(SCOFFS) Sure you do, everyone does.

No, I don't. I just... I was...

I was just questioning who I am and I...

We... I just took it too far, and now I
don't feel comfortable being around you.

That's ridiculous. You
know me. We're best friends.

And I didn't make you kiss
me, you asked me to kiss you.

Okay, do not come any closer. Why not?

I'm not going to kiss you
again, not even if you ask me to.

I'm never going to ask you
to kiss me again, never.

Good. I don't want to kiss you again.

I am not going to kiss you again.

So, if you still can't figure out if you're
gay or not, get some other girl to kiss you.

My mom suggested
experimenting in other ways.

Like? I don't know.

Neither one of us came up with anything.

Wait. Your mom knows?

Yeah. Hmm.

I wonder if my mom knows.

You kissed Grace to see if you're gay?

No, Grace asked me to kiss her.

And I did it without thinking
about it. It wasn't a big deal.

It was okay. I'm just not gay.

Not that I was ever questioning
whether I was straight or not.

I just wanted to kiss a
girl, see what it's like.

Oh. And what was it like?

Like kissing a girl.
Did you ever kiss a girl?

I'm a flight attendant. I've tried a lot
of things. I've sampled a lot of cultures.

I've been to the Taj Mahal. I've been
to Machu Pichu. I've been to Wimbledon.

Huh? It was a joke.

I don't get it.

Like all jokes, it goes to stereotypes.

Not all women who play tennis are gay.

People think that? Mmm. Yeah.

Some people do.

And some people think
that all flight attendants

are nothing but hookers with wings.

Okay, well, Mom, I didn't come over here
to listen to you complain about your job.

This is about me. You and Grace.

More me than Grace.

I mean, people talking about
my being gay is almost like

people talking about Ricky being gay.

It's... It's shocking.

People are talking
about Ricky being gay?

Oh, please. No. Just me. I'm
the center of attention for once.

Oh, well, I recall you being the
center of attention a few times.

Are you sure you want to be the
center of attention for this?

I mean, Adrian, it doesn't really
seem like you're questioning anything

and so it seems to me that...

That people may take offense to you trying
to shock other people by kissing a girl.

I didn't do it to shock people,

I just... I don't mind
that it did shock people.

And who would take offense?

Lesbians in your high school?

Possibly gay guys as well.
The entire LGBTQ community.

What community is that?
The alphabet community?

Lesbian, gay, bi, trans,
questioning community.

Oh, them. Hmm.

They're not going to say
anything. They don't have a voice.

That was a joke. About gay
students not being heard.

That may be too true to be funny.

Oh, come on. Everyone at our
school gets treated the same,

no one really cares who's gay or not gay

unless of course, it's someone like me.

Oh, really? Well, then maybe they should
just change the name of your school to

"The Ideal High School."

Adrian, are you really that naive?

You may not care who's
gay or who's not gay,

you may not care what anyone else's
sex life or sexual identity is,

but believe me, other people do and other
people can be judgmental and hurtful.

And again, I don't know why
someone hasn't said something

about that little game you're playing.

The only one who would say
anything is "that girl,"

and I don't even think she's in summer
school. She's too smart to be in summer school.

I'm sure "that girl," whoever
she is, she has a name.

Yeah, it's, uh...

Fern! Fern.

What are you going to do when Fern

or someone else comes up to you and
confronts you about the fact that you're

using that kiss to get attention,

while they're deeply
struggling with who they are?

That is more likely scary
at your age than amusing.

I totally understand. I hate
when I disappoint my parents, too.

So... Why don't you tell your dad that
you want to tell me just what you told me,

that you're not going to go to my
school, but you want to say it in person.

Because it really would have been better
if you had told me this face to face.

You're right, I'm sorry. That's okay.

It's not too late. All you
have to do is ask your dad.

Yeah. I guess I could do that.

I'll see you at seven?
If my dad says it's okay.

Of course. If your dad says it's okay.

What now?

Um... Here's the thing. I am definitely
not going to change schools just for Dylan.

I am not going to change
schools for any reason.

Get a look at your bank balances?

No. It's just... I
hate disappointing you,

mostly because I know you're not
disappointed unless I'm doing the wrong thing.

I did the wrong thing. I'm not going
to do more wrong things on top of that.

Oh, really? Really.

But... I want to see Dylan tonight
and break it to her in person.

I think I owe her that much.

I don't think you owe
her anything at all,

and like I told you before, what
you do with Dylan is your business.

And I reiterate, if
you get into trouble,

you're on your own.

I'm just trying to do
the right thing here.

I hope so. I really hope so, Ben.

(SIGHS)

+

She's still not up?

Excuse us for just barging in
when you told Amy you'd call her

after you had a chance to talk to Anne.

Your mother's not up, Amy.
She's on Paris time or something.

Well, maybe I'll wake her up.
I want to see her. I missed her.

Yeah, well, maybe we should think
about her. Your mother. She's exhausted.

Why now?

Why didn't "we" think about her when
"we" went over to Wife Number One's house?

Ricky, why don't you and Amy go
out to dinner? I'll pay for it.

We already ate. Amy, this obviously
isn't the right time to stop by.

It's still my house, I can
drop by whenever I want.

It isn't your house, it isn't even
my house, it's your mother's house,

and your mother will
get up when she gets up.

I'm up, I'm up.

Mom! (LAUGHING)

How are you? I'm good,
I'm good, I missed you.

And you, Ricky, and John.

All right, now that
you've seen your mother,

you and your little family can
go do whatever you need to do.

George, don't be rude, I want
to see Amy and her little family.

I'm just going to go do
something not in here.

We'll both go. Guys,
where are you going?

Wherever we need to go so that Amy can say
whatever she wants to say to you and then go home

so I can say what I want to say to you.

Then go.

I don't know what he wants to say
to you. But whatever it is can wait.

Is everything okay?

Oh, yeah, everything is fine.

Did you get my text? We
set a date for the wedding,

we're getting married
on the fourth of July.

Yes. Interesting choice.

Yeah, it's the first holiday
after I graduate from high school.

Oh. Yeah.

I guess it is. And
it's not a gay holiday.

Oh. No. It's not a gay
holiday. Not that I know of.

I wouldn't know... I...
Uh... I'm kind of new at...

You're going to help me
plan the wedding, right?

Of course I will.

It's not going to be anything
big, maybe like 50 people?

Whatever you want, Amy.

I don't really know what I want.

But I mean, a lot of people
don't know what they want.

But you definitely want to get married
after you graduate from high school?

Yeah.

You don't sound that sure.

Oh, no. I am that sure, I am.

About getting married. I'm just not
so sure about who should be there.

I only want family and
close friends there,

and no ex-boyfriends, no
ex-girlfriends, no ex-anything.

I take it if you want
me to plan the wedding,

you'd want me to be at the wedding?

Yeah, why wouldn't I want
you to be at the wedding?

Well, because... It's
not easy to say, but...

I'm gay. Dad's with Kathleen?

You're what? Dad's with who?

I'm gay. Kathleen.

You didn't know? You didn't know?

Okay, let's go back and try this again.

You first. No, you go first.

Mom, you're not gay.

Yes, I am gay.

No, you're not. You might
think you are, but you're not.

You got married, you had children,

you're in love with Dad, you
just don't want to admit it.

Are you claiming to be gay because
Dad's going back to his first wife?

Do you not want it to look like
you lost him to her or something?

I didn't know that he was
going back to his first wife.

I knew that he told her that I was gay,
but I didn't know he was back with Kathleen.

I just thought he'd found someone.

Yeah. He did. It's Kathleen.

And he's just using your being gay
as an excuse to go back with her,

so, Mom, don't buy into
it, you're not really gay.

Look, I haven't really had a chance
to talk to your dad about this,

and he hasn't had a chance to
tell me about Kathleen, I guess.

That really sucks. Yeah.

Are you sure? Am I sure?

Yeah. I'm sure.

He used my being gay as an
excuse to go back to her?

Probably. And it's so unfair,
because you're not gay.

I am gay.

Mom, that's ridiculous.

You were married forever and you've
had boyfriend after boyfriend.

Uh-huh. None of which have worked out

because I was never happy being
married to your dad or with boyfriends.

I mean, I wasn't miserable
when I was married to your dad,

just never felt complete.

Well... That's not because you're
gay. That's because Dad's an idiot.

Mom, I don't want you to be gay.

I have nothing against people who are
gay but our family is different enough.

Geez, do you really have to do this?

RICKY: Amy!

I'm talking to my mother. I heard.

And excuse me for saying so, but that's not
really a nice way to talk to your mother.

Stay out of it.

No, I'm not going to stay out of it. My mom
is gay. And you're completely insensitive.

If you didn't want to know
this, why'd you insist on

coming over here to see your mom?

I'm sorry this is Amy's response.
I support you all the way,

you be whoever you are,
and we'll be happy about it.

Won't we, Amy?

Ricky, it's not about
whether or not we'll be happy,

it's about whether or
not she'll be happy.

And you're not going
to be happy being gay.

Nora is.

That's your role model? Careful.

I don't know any other lesbians!
It... It doesn't matter.

No, it doesn't matter at all.
You have a right to be happy.

And no one can take that from you.

Don't try and make me look like
I have a thing against lesbians.

It's not like I don't
want her to be happy,

that's just not the way to happiness.

Mom, reclaiming what is
yours is the way to happiness.

You have to try and stop Dad from going back
with Kathleen. That would make you happy.

That would make me happy.
That'd even make Ashley happy.

Wouldn't it be nice to
see Ashley happy for once?

(SIGHS) You're grasping
at straws now, Amy.

It's over, Amy. It's over.

It's not going to be the
family you grew up with,

but maybe things will be better.

Maybe all of us actually have a
sh*t at being a happy family now,

because everyone is free
to be whoever they are.

Including you, Amy.

Hi, Ashley. Hi, Ricky. How are you?

He's fine. And I'm not gay.

Who said you were? Everyone.

Everyone has heard that you're gay and
now they think I'm gay because you're gay.

And because the wedding is
set for the fourth of July.

I don't get this. When did the
fourth of July become a gay holiday?

It's kind of like you, Mom,

it always was, it just became more
so the longer it's been around.

You told her first? Yeah.

Get John.

I'll talk to her.

No, I'll talk to her.
Just leave it be for now.

Yeah, let it be.

But if you need someone to talk
to, you still have my number, right?

Goodnight.

Your sister is not gay. Oh, I know that.

And I also know she's
never going to marry Ricky.

So don't count on being at
a wedding the fourth of July.

Unless it's yours, Mom, then
that would make me very happy.

I think we should get out of here.

Why? I love sneaking into
buildings at night, it's fun.

It makes me a little nervous.

We're not doing anything illegal.
The security guard let us in.

You lied to him.

I could have left my
passport in my locker.

Not likely.

But possible.

Just like it's possible that Amy is gay.

Amy's not gay. Come on. I told
you I'd take you out for dessert.

Yeah, you did. But we
don't have to go anywhere.

This is why I wanted
to show you the lab.

What's that?

We do it in school. S'mores.

I have marshmallows, and graham crackers

and chocolate bars, and peanut butter.

Peanut butter? That's a new twist.

It's really good.

Ah.

Very clever. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, what was I supposed
to say, congratulations?

That would have been better
than what you said, so yeah.

Please. She can't be serious.

This all started with my Dad teasing
her about looking at your mom.

It's not real.

Your being gay, that's not real.
This is real, Amy. Your mother is gay.

I don't care how many times
you say it, it's not true.

I don't get this, I really don't. We've
talked about this being a possibility.

Well, talking about it
doesn't make it true.

I talked about being a professional
French horn player and I'm not.

I'm not even interested in
playing the French horn anymore.

That is one strange analogy.

Amy, your mother came out to
you, she told you that she's gay,

I'm sure she was dreading telling you and
now all her greatest fears have come true.

You can't hear her say it, you
can't accept what she's telling you.

And that's really wrong, Amy.
It's not an easy thing to say.

But she said she was gay, so she's gay.

Ricky, you don't know my mom, I know
my mom, and she likes men. A lot.

She's not saying she's
bisexual, she's saying she's gay.

She doesn't know what she's saying, she
has jet lag. She's still on Paris time.

Ugh, I hate Europe!

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

You know what? Just take some time with
this, take tonight to think about it

and then get over there in the morning
and apologize and tell her you love her.

Oh, she knows that I love her.
Just like she knows she's not gay.

I'm back.

Oh, yeah. I forgot I told
you you could come over.

You didn't just tell me I could come
over, you told me I could sleep over

and have sex with you. A lot of sex.

Yeah... I don't know.

What don't you know now?

The same thing I didn't know
before, whether I'm gay or not.

Well, I can help you with that.

No, I need to figure it out on my own.

How are you going to do
that, is that even possible?

I'm not sure.

But my mom said that I should try
experimenting in some non-sexual ways.

And what would that be?

I don't know. Hmm.

Here's what I would suggest.
We just have sex right now

and if you like it, we do it
one more time just to make sure,

and, hey, if it takes,
it takes. I'll do my best.

Nah.

Come on, Grace. You
keep doing this to me.

And I've been thinking about
you all day. You and Adrian.

Wait. Did I just say Adrian?

Yeah. You said me and Adrian.

I suppose you get all turned on
thinking about me with another girl.

What does that say about you?

That I'm supportive, sensitive...

Simple.

I'm just a guy, all right?
A red-blooded American guy

and you got me all hot
telling me about that kiss

and that's all I can think about.

That's all I thought about all day long,

through one very intense
workout and a two hour scrimmage.

Sorry.

Actually, it seemed to kind of help.
I think I was overthinking my game.

You know what, maybe
you're overthinking this.

Maybe you just need to
kiss her again. What?

Yeah. Kiss Adrian again
and see what happens.

I'll drive you over there.

I'll wait in the car. Well...

My mom did say it was okay
just to, you know, kiss.

Yes! I mean, I agree. Wholeheartedly.

What do you mean you're
breaking up with me?

You can't break up with me
just because I kissed Grace.

You promised it would just be the two
of us and you didn't even last a week.

Uh, no, I didn't. I
promised you no other guys.

This wasn't a guy. This was Grace.

She asked me to kiss her and so
I kissed her. What's the big deal?

You kissed someone else,
that's the big deal,

I don't care who it was,
man or woman. You cheated.

You have to be kidding me.

No. I'm not kidding you.

It was Grace! I told you
she's attracted to me.

And you even joked about asking her if
she wanted to come in to the bedroom.

But that was a joke. And besides,
that would be us with Grace,

not you sneaking around my back
with Grace, and it was a joke.

Okay, so, that would be
okay? You, me and Grace?

No. It wouldn't. Again. It was a joke.

Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine.

It didn't mean anything and
neither did my kissing Grace.

It meant nothing to me!

I mean, it was like kissing a mirror.

She's a girl. I'm a girl. I
didn't get anything out of it.

Well, then you shouldn't have done it.

(EXCLAIMING)

That's not going to
get you anywhere either.

Look, Adrian, I don't want to be in a
position to be telling you what's appropriate

or inappropriate in a relationship.

And if you're telling me that a kiss with
a girl doesn't count, I'd like to know why.

Is a girl less than a guy?

Is a kiss with the same sex less
than a kiss with the opposite sex?

No. It's not.

Could you kiss me again?

Hmm.

Wow.

Goodbye, Omar.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Let's try that again. One more.

Oh, look who's back from his walk.

Yeah.

I heard it didn't go well with Amy.

What didn't go well?

Uh... Whatever conversation you had.

You know, I was just
joking about you and Nora.

And then somehow, I just kind of...

Hoped that you were gay so I'd feel like
I was justified in going back to Kathleen.

Do you have to do that, George?

Do you have to go back to Kathleen?

Of all the women in the world,
does it have to be your first wife?

I think maybe it always was her.

No offense.

Oh, no, of course not.

If you ask me, she just
goes from man to man to man.

As opposed to man to man to woman?

Nice.

So, did you meet someone or
are you just playing the field?

No. I didn't meet anyone.

Exactly. What does that mean?

It means... Nothing. It means something.

Just tell me, are you gay or not?

Maybe you just hate men, maybe you
just hate me. And I don't blame you.

I don't hate you, George.
I don't hate anyone.

But yes, George, I'm gay.

How do you know you're gay?

Well, the thing is,

I've been having dreams about being
with women for a long, long time,

maybe even since I was a teenager,

but I never considered that those
dreams were anything more than dreams.

And I always figured I would grow
up and get married and have children.

And that's what I was supposed to do. And
that's what I did. And I don't regret it.

But the thing is...

This is so difficult to say,
George, because I love you,

I do, but you know how they say that
two people become one in a relationship?

Well, we always felt like two.

Like two people coming together as two.

All right.

Now that you've explained that,

go back to you haven't
met anyone "exactly."

Explain "exactly." (SIGHS)

Well, one night when I was in Paris,

I ran into a woman that
I had met in a shop,

and she asked me out for
coffee, and I said, "Yes,"

and we had coffee

and she walked me back to
the hotel, and she kissed me.

And I kissed her back.

And I don't even have the words
to describe what that felt like,

I mean...

It was exciting and my
heart was racing, and...

I felt like one. Free. Happy.
Excited. Like everything is brand new.

And I want to be me, whoever I am,

and I think that being
gay is part of who I am.

And not gay is the other part?
I don't think I'm following you.

George,

I'm finding out a lot
of things about myself.

I'm really good at running a business,

I think I have some design talent,

I may even want to go back to school
and get a degree in design, and...

I'm gay.

All right, well... Then you're gay.

Yeah.

I'm really kind of excited,

but also kind of scared.

Scared of what?

Scared that my family
won't love me anymore.

We're still going to love you, you're
still Amy and Ashley and Robie's mom,

and you're still my Anne.

(KISSES)

(SNIFFLES)

So it's Kathleen, huh?

Hey, I want you to be happy, so
you should want me to be happy.

Yeah. I do.

Just not with Kathleen.

So when you went out for
this coffee, who paid?

She did.

Huh.

+

Ashley! Oh. Hi, Toby.

So how was it?

How was what? Uh... Europe?

Oh. It was pretty
much what you'd expect.

That's it?

Anything exciting happen? Like what?

I don't know.

I heard Amy's gay.

Yeah, I heard that, but I
think we both know she's not.

Do we? Yeah.

She's getting married.

Yeah, on the gayest day of the year.

Yeah, you know, I didn't know about that.
It's Gay Liberation Day or something?

Apparently.

So... Anyone else gay?

You mean me?

Oh, no, no, not you.

You know...

Your mom? Oh. That.

Yeah, she thinks she is, but at that
age what difference does it make?

I mean, what kind of sex is she
having, she's in her forties.

Yeah. Right.

Still... Still? Who cares?

Right. I don't care.

No one in their right mind would.

No.

Thanks for calling me. I've missed you.

Oh, yeah? Missed my smile?

I've never seen you smile,

but I'd love to. Someday.

I doubt it.

So, did you do anything
while you were gone?

You mean did I have sex with anyone?

Did you?

What do you think?

I think I love you.

I love you, too.

So if you see me flirting with
Ricky, that's just to annoy Amy.

Why don't you give that up?

Because then they'd notice us.

I don't care. I don't either.

Oh, hi! Oh, you're up.

And out. I'll let you two talk,
I'm going to go check on Robie.

So, um... How was it?

Good. It was good.

What are we talking about?

The Eiffel Tower, or, um...

Did George say you're out?

Yeah. He said that.

Out of jail or, like...

Gay. Yes!

Okay, tell me everything that
happened. Do not skip the details.

I kissed a woman.

Shut up. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. Good for you.
A beautiful woman? Hot?

No, she was one of the
trolls from under the bridges.

She felt sorry for
me because I was lost.

All right, I deserved that.

So... Just a kiss?

Yeah. But a nice kiss.

It's really different kissing a woman.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Hey, maybe you and I should...
Oh, no, we should not.

Not you and me. We're
practically in-laws.

We will be in-laws. It would
be entirely too incestuous.

Besides, if you're still
in the experimental stages,

I have already put in my
time with experimenters.

I don't do that.

Yeah, I was gonna say maybe you and I
should have a bowl of soup together and talk.

I'm kind of hungry. Oh.

Ha. (LAUGHS)

But I am looking at you.

Hey, I'm home. Just
want to say goodnight.

Come on in.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, everything's fine. Except
that you wasted the $1,200.

Well, I'm looking at it
as a $1,200 life lesson

so it's not completely wasted.

Well, uh, I guess no one's going to
be going to that school next year.

What are you talking about? There
are 250 elite students at that school.

Not anymore.

What are you talking about?

Apparently, it caught fire tonight,
looks like the whole place b*rned down.

Dylan didn't know?

No, she's been with me all night.
Did they say what caused the fire?

Started in one of the science
labs, some sort of expl*si*n.

Did anybody get hurt?

Apparently not. There was a security
guard but he was sleeping inside his car.

You know the security guard over there?

No. How would I know the security guard?

I don't know, you just looked
a little overly relieved.

No, I'm just happy no one got hurt.

I have a lot of humanity.

I better go call Dylan and tell her.

Oh, my God. What did I do?

Let's not freak out. We're best friends.

Alice, best friends don't let best
friends have sex with each other, okay?

This was wrong, this
was really, really wrong.

It wasn't that wrong.

No. It was. I just panicked.

Okay? I never meant for us to...

So, we'll just forget about it. The
way we forgot about Adrian and Henry.

How are we going to tell Henry?
We're not going to tell Henry.

It's none of Henry's business.
This is between you and me.

Oh, God.

Look, anyone who b*rned down a school would
panic and run to his best friend and have sex.

It's a perfectly normal scenario at our
age. I can probably find stats on it.

I doubt it.

Ben, you don't know that
you b*rned down the school.

Oh, no. We know we
b*rned down that school.

How many other people were
in there making s'mores?

And her dad works in
the security business,

he set up the security system at that
school and he hired the security guard.

Her dad knows the security guard.

You told me all this last night, I'm not
going to sleep with you again this morning.

Maybe I should just go in there and
confess. Tell my dad what happened.

No. If Dylan's father knows anything, you
think he's going to rat out his own offspring?

My dad would.

Pudding Pop is not your dad.

Just don't say anything. About anything.

When you left, there was no fire. You don't
know that you and Dylan started the fire.

But we might have, not
might have, we probably did.

I'm sure we did. How
can I not say anything?

Maybe I can get hysterical muteness.

I'll check on that.

I have to go. Wait. Alice...

Thank you for coming over here,

it may be the last chance I ever
have to have sex with a woman,

because this time tomorrow morning,
I could be waking up in jail.

One last time. Do not say
anything to anyone. About the fire.

Or about you and me.
The fire never happened.

And we never happened.

I'll see you at school.

Hey, Ricky!

Yeah?

I want to change my mind.

No, you go apologize to your mother.

Not about that. About the wedding.

Oh, geez, Amy, you don't
want to get married? Amy...

No, I want to get married right away.

Forget the fourth of July. It took the gay
community so long to get their own holiday,

let's just let them have it. They
shouldn't have to share it with us.

And I don't want to steal
the spotlight from them, too.

So, let's just do what you wanted to
do, and just run off and get married.

Really? You want to do that?

Yeah. I want to do that.
All this waiting is stupid.

We already live together, we
have a son, we love each other...

And you don't want your mother to bring a date
to the wedding or your dad to bring Kathleen.

I'll take it.

So... When? Whenever.

That makes me really
happy. Okay, I have to run.

Oh!

I love you. I love you.

Hello!

It's me.

I can't believe you
walked right past me.

I mean, you should know who
I am, you kissed me twice.

What are you doing?

Why are you dressed like that?

Because I felt like it. Just exploring.

Exploring what?

What I might look like if
I decide to be a lesbian.

You don't just decide.
And there's no uniform.

It's something you are or you're not.
And you already decided you're not.

I know. Frankly, that last kiss stunk.

The only one who got
anything out of it was Jack.

So... The outfit? You're
just trying to get attention?

Hey! You got all the
attention yesterday.

People should be able to dress how
they want. I'm expressing myself.

All right, well then, express yourself
by yourself. You're on your own today.

Fine.

Well, good luck.

I'm Fern. Oh. Yeah. Hi.

How are you? You know I'm gay, right?

How would I know? I mean, I've
heard, but hey, what does that mean?

It means that what you've heard is true.

But how would I know
that and why would I care?

I mean, you look like any other girl
at school, except for maybe Grace.

Okay, well, I'm just saying, if you didn't
know I was gay, I'm telling you I'm gay.

Oh. Well, good for you.

I hear you and your friend have been
playing some little game around here,

trying to get attention
by kissing each other?

No, no, it wasn't really a game.
I was just helping a friend.

And getting some attention for
yourself by trying to shock people?

Well... I mean...

It's not easy being gay in high school.

Oh, sure, there's Griffin, whose
entire family seems to be gay so

he's had things maybe a little
easier than the rest of us,

especially since he grew
up with some self-esteem...

But, Adrian, this whole
thing with you kissing a girl

and everyone being so shocked by it,

it's insulting. Do you
get that? It's insulting.

Why should everyone be so much more
shocked by what I do than what you do?

Why is a girl kissing a girl so much
more shocking than a girl kissing a guy?

Uh...

Well... It shouldn't be.

I mean, is a kiss
between a girl and a girl

any less than a kiss
between a guy and a girl?

No! Of course not.

I was just talking to my
boyfriend about that last night.

In fact, we broke up over that.

Here... Walk with me, I don't
want to be late for class.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. So I was just
talking to my mother

about gay students not having
a voice in high schools.

I mean there's no voice for
the entire LMNOP community.

It's LGBTQ community.

Right. I keep getting that mixed up.

Dude, really?

Morning. Morning, Amy.

I knew you'd come by.

I'm sorry.

I'm an idiot.

I don't care if you're gay,
I just care that you're happy.

Thank you.

But you do care that I'm gay.

I'll get used to it.
It's just new to me.

Just like when I told you I was
pregnant and you flipped out.

But then you got used
to it and you were fine.

You've never been very good
with analogies, you know that?

(LAUGHING) Yeah. I do
know that about myself.

Just like you know you're gay.

And we all know that love is love.