05x02 - Shotgun

Complete Collection of episode transcripts. Aired: July 1, 2008 to June 3, 2013.*
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Amy Juergens finds out she's pregnant after a fling at band camp, her whole world changes as she deals with family, friends, school and life.
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05x02 - Shotgun

Post by bunniefuu »

GRACE: Previously on
The Secret Life
of the American Teenager...

I cannot believe
we did that.

I can't either.

We're on our honeymoon.
Kind of. We eloped.

Just because we're
no longer roromamass

and we're not going
to the same school

doesn't mean
we're aren't friends.

You and I are really
going our separate ways.

You're not just here
to say goodbye,

you're here to say
yodon't want to be
friends with me.

You and I both know
we were in the lab
with a Bunsen burner

that we probably left
burning when we left.
I doubt it.

Did you and Dylan
have something to do
with that fire at her school?

Absolutely not.

Where are Amy and Ricky?

They're not here,
that's where they are.

What if you and Anne
and Margaret and
Shakur and I

missed seeing
those two get married?

You remember that girl
that I made out with
at the party?

What about her?

I've kind of
been out with her.

Whose feet are those?

They're mine, sir.

I'm sure if Ben had something
to do with that fire,
it was an accident.

I have to tell my dad
what happened.

I think I recall
your dad telling you

that if you got into
any trouble with me,
you're on your own.

I told Ricky and Amy
I'd babysit
if they wanted to go elope.

I even paid for the hotel.

If I'd known you were
all going to be here,

I would have picked up
some eye of newt.

Bye-bye.

Hey...

If Amy and Ricky
got married,

I am really going
to be upset with you.

Why? Why me?
Be upset with them

if you want to be
upset with anyone,

although I don't know
why you'd be upset.

You and your
kitchen mates.

Because we're
their mothers.

Oh. Hey, Ashley.

I was going to
knock on your door
when I got here,

but I figured
you'd be asleep.

I missed you this week,

I got used to
seeing you every day.

Aren't you going
to say anything?

Like?

Like good morning.

Oh, yeah.
Good morning.

You just kind of
took me by surprise.

I thought Dad told you
that I couldn't go to
your condo this weekend.

Oh, he did tell me.
In a text.

And if you'd
rather stay here
and hang out with Toby,

I totally understand,

we were gone
for a long time

and I'm sure
you two have a lot
of catching up to do.

I know friends
are important, too.

Toby? Who said
anything about Toby?
Stay on topic.

Uh, what is the
topic exactly?

Does she know
that Ricky and Amy
might have eloped?

I don't know.
Do you?

No. I don't know,
and I don't care.

Really?
You don't know anything?

No, they wouldn't tell me
any big secrets like that.

Well, Amy told you
before us that
she was pregnant.

True.
But that was bad news.

This is what Amy would
consider good news.

Well, I don't know
if consider it
good news or not.

I really wanted
to be at her wedding.

Since this doesn't
really involve me

I'll just be
in my room.

Nah. I think you've been
in your room enough.

Where else am
I going to go?
I can't drive.

Maybe if you
buy me a car,
I can get out more.

Me? Oh, no.

Maybe your
mother's next girlfriend
will buy you one.

That's how things
are done in this family.

Oh, ha ha.

Ashley's up.
She doesn't know anything.

How would she?
She's always in her room.

We have to get
her out of her room.

All I know is,
I want to be here when

Amy and Ricky get home.
That's my son. I raised him.

Well, I hatched him.

Try staying off dr*gs
for nine months when
you're an addict.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean any offense.

And not doing dr*gs
is hardly a sacrifice.

I believe money from
the state was involved
during foster care, wasn't it?

Like that covered
his expenses?

And that stopped
when we adopted him.

And my husband
is a heart surgeon.
So don't go there.

I think what
we're all saying is

that we've all
sacrificed a lot
for Ricky and Amy

and we love them
and we should have been
a part of any wedding

that took place.

♪ Falling in love
is such an easy
thing to do

♪ Birds can do it
We can do it

♪ Let's stop talking
Let's get to it

♪ Let's fall in love

Wait. Both Ricky's
and your mother?

Oh, my God!
Is it an intervention?

Are we going to
talk to them or something?

Oh, no.
call my mother, are they?

I don't think
my mother even knows.

I don't think
my dad told her.

Did you
tell your mother?

No. Why would
You're the girl.?

There are two of us
in this relationship.

Relationship. I like that.

But guys
never tell anyone.

Unless someone gets
or something. disease

I told my dad,
tell your mom.ould

If my mom
then I'll tell her.

That would make us even.
for no reason.g her

She thinks
we're best friends,

that's why
if I stay over here.

I don't want to get
her all involved.

Wait.

Did your dad
your mom or not?

Does your mom know?

I don't think
she does, no,

and I don't
think he'll tell her.

He's pretty good
at keeping secrets.

Is he?
Yeah, he is.

Are you sure about that?

He just doesn't seem
something like this secret.

You don't even know him.

I got to know him
last night. better

Did you know
that he lies?

He's a very good liar.

Well, not good really.

Just frequent.

He lies.
My sister lies.

And I lie.

No, no, you all
just have secrets.

Secrets sounds
better than lies.

And what secret
are you keeping?

Or what lie
are you telling?

Me?
Yeah. You.

I'm not lying
when I say

I love you.

I'm going to
while I can.ere

I'll text you.

What time is it?

Mmm.

It's almost 11.

We have to go,
dad in the kitchenr

with those three
women all day.

(SIGHS) No, we can.

(CHUCKLES) He says
to take our time.

And maybe if
we wait long enough,

they'll all go get
waxed or something.

(LAUGHS)

I love my dad.
He's so funny.

Yeah, well,
he's also so... So...

We should go.

No, we haven't slept in
since we had John.

You've slept in,
you were in
New York for six weeks.

You slept in when
you were with me
in New York.

We stayed up all night.

Oh. Right. (CHUCKLES)

Well, come on.
We'll probably never
have a room like this again

and we don't
have to leave, not yet.

All right, we'll stay,
if that's what you want.

That's what I want.

It's just that
I'm not ready to

go back to my house
and confront everyone.

Part of the reason
I wanted to elope was

because I'm tired
of everyone being
involved in our business.

Yeah, well,
look at it as

that's the price you pay
for being in a family.

Yeah. But we should
make our own decisions.

Well, since the first
decision we made together
led to our having John,

there's probably
more involvement than
there would have been

if things had
gone differently.

Yeah, well, if things
had gone differently,
then I doubt we'd be here.

We might.
And that's not the point.

The point is
I love you, Amy.
And I love John.

And I really
do want to be with you
for the rest of our lives.

I know.

And I love you too.

It's just since
we made that first
decision by ourselves,

we've grown up a lot

and I'd like us to
make all our decisions

from this point on
by ourselves

without any of our
parents being involved.

This was your father's idea.

Hey, and mine too!

I was the one who said
we should run off.

Yeah, but he's
the one who kind of
made it happen.

It's not always
a bad thing to have
our parents involved.

I just don't like the
idea of our mothers

sitting around
the kitchen table
talking about us

and I feel like
we're being called into
the principal's office.

Well, maybe they'll
be happy when we
tell them what we did.

Believe me,
then they're just going to
want to plan a big wedding

that everyone can come to.

You don't know that.

Yes, I do.

Hey, Ben.
Adrian! What are
you doing here?

Well, hello to you too.

I'm sorry,
you just startled me.

You are the nervous type.

Am I? I like to
think of myself

more as the
responsible type
than the nervous type.

My dad came over
to see me last night,

he brought me flowers
for my graduation.

Oh? Oh, no.
Did I miss
your graduation?

It wasn't
a real graduation.

I just got
handed a diploma
in the counselor's office.

And that was it.
Congratulations.

And if I had known,
I would have
done something for you.

(SCOFFS)
It's just high school.

I'll be going to college,
it's not that big a deal.

Did you come by for
something in particular?

Not really.

Grace broke up with me.

Well, not that we
were together together,

but she dumped me
as a friend

and I just felt like
hanging out with someone.

Hmm. Well, where's
that guy, Omar?

He broke up with me, too.

I could get him back,
but... Meh.

I felt more like
hanging out with a friend.

And you're my friend.
And just my friend.

I'm your ex-husband,
I think I'm a little more
than just a friend.

Ben, did you go
to my father and
ask him to talk to me?

About what? No.

You didn't ask him
to maybe talk to me

about maybe getting back
together or something?

No.
Why would I do that?
I'm with Dylan now.

(SCOFFS) You can't be
serious about that girl.

She's not for you.
She's not your type.

Did my dad come to you
and ask you to talk to me?

No.

Well, you're not
my type either
but we were married.

And now we're divorced
and now we're friends.

Let's go back to
what your dad said.

What exactly
did he say to you
that made you think

I would want
to see you again,
as more than a friend?

He just thinks
you're a nice guy.

He thinks
you're too nice to be
with that pot smoker.

What! How does
he know about that?

How does
he know anything
about Dylan and me?

I might have
mentioned it.

Adrian!

It was a long time ago.

And he's my dad
and we talk. Sometimes.

Look, he just
thinks a lot of you

and the way
you handled everything
we went through,

and well,
he kind of misses you.

He misses me?

Yeah. He said
you should come
around sometime.

To his office or home?

Doesn't matter.

The important thing
is that you two

are not trying
to get me to go
back with you.

Yeah, that's really
the important thing.

He said he misses me?
Yeah.

And he wants me to
come around sometime?

Is that he wants
me to come around
if I want to come around,

or he's expecting me
to come around?

I don't know.

What's wrong with you?

I'm trying to be nice here
and you're being all weird.

Nothing is wrong with me.

I'll go see him.
Good. Go see him.

He said he'll be
around all day today.

+

Ben's father is here!

Why?
I don't know!

He didn't say?

I didn't let him in.
He's knocking on the door.

We could hide.

Okay. I'll get it.

Coming.

Mind if I come in?

No, not at all.

After all, we just
showed up at your house.

But just that one time.
Or maybe it was twice.

Do you like cinnamon
streusel pound cake?
I just made one.

I'll take it to go.

Oh. All right.

I'm joking.
I just want to talk
to the two of you.

Sure. Sit down.
I know what
this is about.

I don't.

Then maybe
you shouldn't
involve yourself.

Well, if it's
about my daughter,
I want to be involved.

You know what?

Why don't you
talk to Dylan
while I talk to Leo.

Why would I do that?

I can talk to Dylan
after the three of us talk.

Please.
Really?

Really. It's business.

It's business that I imagine
involves my business.

You know what,
I don't even want
to be here.

So what do you
know about the fire?

I like the direct approach.

I know all
anyone can know.

The fire started in the lab
and caused an expl*si*n.

No one was hurt
because no one was in
the building at the time.

The guard was where he was
supposed to be, outside.

And the kids had
come by hours earlier.

There is nothing
linking either of them
to that fire.

So go home and
don't worry about it.

Whenever people
tell me not to be
worried about something,

I get worried.

Yeah, your son's
a worrier, too.

Were they in the lab?

They were
all over the school,
she gave him a tour.

No one is accusing
them of anything,

it's not being
treated as arson.

What were they
doing in the lab?

Who knows?
There are no cameras.

The cameras are
at t entrances,

they don't have cameras
in each classroom.

If they did,
I'd be a wealthier man.

They were
roasting marshmallows
over a Bunsen burner.

What?
Yeah.

And an hour later, boom,

the lab blows up
and the school burns down.

And you're not worried.
Why is that?

Because how do
you know they were

roasting marshmallows
over a Bunsen burner?

I overheard a conversation.

Well, maybe you
overheard wrong.

If Jack doesn't
know anything then
Grace doesn't know anything,

and if Grace
doesn't know anything

then Adrian doesn't
know anything.

So Ben isn't
talking to Adrian.

I didn't think he would.

Maybe he did talk to Adrian
but Adrian didn't say
anything to Grace,

so Grace didn't say
anything to Jack.

Oh, come on,
she would say something.

You know how gossip
flies in that circle.

Like wildfire?

It's not funny.

Ben is so worried
he wants to break up with me.

Oh! Yay!

What?

I mean, he's great
for a starter boyfriend,

but you cannot keep
him as a real boyfriend.
He's a dork.

I beg your pardon.
He is not a dork.

Okay, he's not a dork.
He's a rich dork.
You can do better.

I don't want
to do better,
I love him.

Well, I can't
keep dating Jack
to get information.

I don't love him.
I don't love him at all.

I mean he's hot,

not so hot he'd
make a lab explode and
burn down a school, but...

Okay, would you drop
the fire references?

Fine. Can you
just forget Ben?

Forget him?
Fine. Marry him.

Then you
can't testify
against each other.

It's never going
to get to that,
to our testifying.

This is never
going to go to court.

My father would
never let that happen.

Hi.

I'll be right back.

Where are you going?

To the bathroom.

No, you can't.
We have company.

So I'll just
go home and go
to the bathroom then.

You can't do that either.
Just stay in here.

I'll let you know
when you can come out.
Cross your legs.

What is going on?

Your boyfriend's father
is in the kitchen.

Leo Boykewich
is in our kitchen?

That's the one.
He's talking to your father.
Mano a mano.

About what?
You tell me.

Or you.

Uh, now,
I really have to go.

Talk to you later, Dylan.

It's about that
stupid fire, isn't it?

Probably. They sent
me out of the room.

Mom!

You should have
stayed in the room
and stood up for me!

For Ben and me!
We didn't do anything.

Of course not.
You're a very
conscientious young lady.

I'm sure you
left the school
just as you found it.

We did! I swear!

You didn't go in
the lab for anything?

We walked by it,
we stuck our head
in the door.

We didn't do
anything that would
cause an expl*si*n.

If we did,
I would tell you.

I know,
you're pretty good
about telling me things,

except maybe
about the pot.

You weren't smoking pot
in there, were you, Dylan?

Mom!

At school?
With all those
cameras around?

What about
not at school where there
are no cameras around,

are you still
smoking pot?

No.

Where would I get pot?

Mercedes' mother is dead,
they don't give pot
prescriptions to dead people.

It's such a shame
about her mom.
How's Mercedes doing?

Her and her dad
aren't still smoking
whatever pot was left?

No. There's no pot left.

They're going
to counseling now.

And no one
is smoking pot.

Not them. Not Ben. Not me.

I'll talk to Dylan
and ask her
about this alleged

Bunsen burner business

and if it's relevant
to the investigation
I'll let the police know.

Will you?
I said I would.

Then I imagine,
if you do that,

then the police
are going to want
to talto Ben.

I know that, so...

Are you sure
this is something you
want me to say now?

If I give the police
an excuse to blame
this on our children,

they might just do that.

Why don't we just
let this play itself out,

see how it goes.

Do you want
Ben to go to prison for
something he didn't do?

He wouldn't last
two minutes in prison.

Oh, and Dylan would?

Dylan,
I remind you, is not 18.
I believe your son is.

Then again, it could
have been Dylan who started
the fire and not Ben.

I seriously doubt
Ben lit the Bunsen burner
and roasted the marshmallows.

He doesn't cook.

Never has.

Yeah, but apparently
he likes playing
with matches.

He smokes pot.
Once.

That's what they all say.

No one gets
caught the first time.

Almost no one.

If someone had eaten
a rancid steak from
Boykewich International,

you'd know how to
handle that, right?

Well this is my territory,
this is security.

I know what to do here.
We wait this out.

We do not
have rancid steak

at Boykewich International.

+

Ethan?

It's Ethan, right?

Yeah. You're Ben?
Ben Boykewich?

That's your house?

I thought
you had money.

That's Adrian's parents' house

and anyone
who still has a house
in this economy has money.

What are you
doing out here?

Oh. Big pow wow
with Ricky's mothers and
Amy's mother and her dad.

His mother is
my foster mother, Margaret.

She dragged me here,
I'm not allowed to
be home alone.

And what is this
pow wow about?

I don't know.

I begged her to
let me stay out here,

I can't take any more
family dramas after what
I've been through, you know.

Is Amy okay?

Like I told you,
I don't really know.

I think maybe
she and Ricky
eloped last night.

You think
maybe they eloped?

What?
Yeah. Maybe.

And that's why
everyone is here?

That's why
everyone is here.

They're waiting for
them to come by and get
the kid and find out.

Kind of ambush them.
Or surprise them
or something.

Something like?
Are they having
a reception or anything?

A what?
You know, like a party.

For when they get home
from their stupid wedding.
(LAUGHS)

You know what,
I don't even know why
I'm even asking you about it,

none of my business.

I'll see you when
school starts next week.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Come on in!

Hey, long time, no see.

How are you?

I'm well
thank you, and you?

I'm well, thank you.
And you?

You already
asked me that.

And?
And...

You look a little pale.

Sunscreen.

And I just heard that

Amy and Ricky eloped.

No kidding. Huh.

I kind of
thought they might.

I didn't.

Well, uh, sit down.

Let's talk.

I, uh...

I don't know
if this is, uh...

This is a good time...

...to talk.

Ben! Ben!

How's the gay life
treating you?

Fine. How's Kathleen?

Fine.

Please tell me that
you didn't tell her

that we think
Amy and Ricky
ran off and got married.

I didn't tell her that
we think Amy and Ricky
ran off and got married.

Good.

Because no one
should know until we know.

We should be
the first to know.

I doubt we'll be
the first to know
if they got married.

I'm sure Amy's
going to tell Madison
and Lauren before us.

She better not.

I don't know for sure
she'll tell them,
I'm just guessing.

Based on what
you and I did.

You and I ran off
and didn't get married.

We did the second
time we ran off.

Yeah.
"Yeah."

You didn't think
it was so "yeah"
when we got married.

You were excited about it.
Or so I thought.

Don't start, okay?

Oop. Somebody's
up from their nap.
I'll go check on Robie.

Yeah, you should
go check on Robie.
He's your kid too, you know.

Didn't you just
leave Robie with me

when you went
gallivanting off in
gay Paris?

Shut up.

Nice. Don't forget
we have company.

Are they like that
all the time?

Pretty much. Yeah.

Well, it's probably a good
thing they are already
divorced and living apart.

That constant bickering
is not good for children.

I hope Amy
is not going to be
like that with our Ricky.

I know.

You know,
I don't know

if it's a good idea
for John to be around
George and Anne so often.

I mean, I'm going
to talk to Ricky

about leaving him
with me more often.

Well, I can babysit John.
I do just fine with him.

(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)

As long as he's asleep.

I'm sure you do.
I'm just saying

they should
call on me more often.

Why? 'Cause you're
better than me?

(SIREN WAILING)

Where's Ethan?
In the car.

Did you cr*ck the windows?

+

He fainted,
he just fainted.

I don't think there's
anything wrong with him.

He didn't even
hit the ground hard,

his knees buckled
and he just crumpled
onto the floor.

Did you call his dad?

He doesn't want me
to call his dad.

And he's over 18, so...

Yeah, call him
after they wheel him
out of here.

Are you sure
you need to go
to the hospital?

Don't you want
to just let this guy
drive you home?

I want to go
to the hospital.

I'm in no condition
to go home.

And my throat hurts,
I can't talk anymore.

All right.

Maybe one of us
should ride with him.

Yeah, one of us should.

You know, you go ahead.
I've got some things
going on at the house.

Oh, yeah, I heard.

So, kids tied
the knot, huh?

That's what I heard.

I wish everyone
would just mind
their own business.

You'd have a better chance of
shutting down the Internet.

What's Ben doing
over here anyway?

He and Adrian
getting back together?

Why should I
mind my own business
if no one else does?

Come on. Come on.
come on, come on,

Grace! Pick up!

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello, Adrian.
I hope you're
having a blessed day.

What?
Thank you for calling,

but as I told you,
I just think it's best
if we're not friends, so...

I can't really
talk right now.

Yeah, you can.
Amy and Ricky eloped.

Really? Did you get that
from a reliable source?

Uh, yeah, my dad.

Damn it, why am I...

Sorry. I'm struggling to
get back on the path,

I strayed
a little bit too far.

And for too long.

You're not going to
play that religion card
again, are you?

'Cause I know you.

And I know you
get religious whenever
it's convenient like...

Oh, my God!

You think
you're going to hell
because we kissed?

Is that why you're
a Christian again?

That might have
something to do with it.

But also, I just realized
how messed up my life was

when I stopped
giving myself over
to a higher power.

(DISCONNECTS)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hey, Grace.

GRACE: Hey, I have
really big news.

Oh, good.
Because Raven's on
her way over here

and I love it when
I have information
that she wants.

So I'm supposed to
give you information that
you can barter for sex?

Yeah. Remember.
Judge not.

Fine.
Amy and Ricky eloped.

Oh, I know.
Tom told me.

She's not pregnant
again, is she?

'Cause that
would be big news.
And worth a lot.

Tom? Tom told you?

Now Tom knows
things before I do!

(DISCONNECTS)

I don't know if
that Christian thing
is going to stick.

How did you know that
Amy and Ricky got married?

I heard it from
dad number three.

Kathleen said
not to tell anyone

because we didn't
really know for sure.

I'm not just anyone!
I'm your sister, Tom!

And I'm your half-sister!

I like the
sound of half-sister.

It's like
half-woman, half-man.

Half-sister,
half-brother.

God help me,
I want to slap
both of you!

I'll slap you.
I am not a Christian.

Well, I'm not
half-man, half-woman.

It sounds like
you're making some
sort of bad joke

about some of the members
of the LGBTQ community.

No. I'm making a joke
about you personally.

I don't know who
those people are,

you said
you were a half.

Wait. Is there
a Christian in this house?

Hello. I am.

Really? The church here
must be very different than
the one in South Africa.

Well, I just became
a Christian again.

I am
renewing my faith.

Jack told me.

What else did he tell you?

Wouldn't you like to know.

So are you
going to go to church
and stuff like that?

Yeah, and stuff like that.

And all of us
used to go to church.

Even our dad.

Again, the church here
must be very
different than ours.

Judge not.

Oh no,
we're free to judge you
and everyone else.

Because we're
not Christians,

and this is America,
damn it.

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

This just in.
Ben Boykewich
had a heart att*ck

or a brain aneurysm
and is being taken by
ambulance to the hospital.

He was at Adrian's house
talking to her father
when he collapsed.

Wait, this is
on the news?

My phone.
Ethan saw the whole thing.

He texted me.

Lord, we pray
that Ethan is lying
and that Ben is okay.


We? Who's we,

Half-Christian,
half-man, half-woman?

Well, you're the
one who called
yourself half-sister.

Up until then
I thought of you
as my whole sister.

I'll get the door,
I'll get the door.

(GROANS)
That's Margaret's car.

And that's
your mother's car,

so I guess
they're all still here.

So just take
a deep breath and...

Hey, where you been?
You missed it.

Missed what?

The ambulance just
left with Ben in it.
What?

Yeah, they brought him
out of Adrian's house

on one of those
stretcher things.

What happened?

He went into toxic shock
following a brain aneurysm

or heart att*ck
or something.

Toxic shock?
Do you even
know what that is?

Yeah, it's like
when your whole body
is poisoned by bad news.

What bad news?

I guess that
you two got married.

+

They're here!

Don't say anything,
not until everyone
is in here.

Hello my son
and my daughter.

I said don't say anything!
We have to get Anne.

Anne is very sensitive
about being left out.

Then get her.
Someone, please,
get Anne.

I am dying to hear
the announcement.

Where is she?
She's talking to Ashley.

We are so happy for you.

Thank you, Margaret.

I thought we weren't
saying anything.

I just said
I'm happy for you.

I was talking to Amy.

Well, I'm gonna say
what I want to say
when I want to say it.

Then fine, just tell us.

I think we should wait.

And before you
say anything Amy,

I'm not going to say
what I don't want to say
when I don't want to say it.

You're having sex
with Toby?

Yeah.
Never mind that now,
Ricky and Amy are home.

Well, Ricky and Amy
can wait.

They've kept us
waiting all day.

Right now I want
to talk to Ashley.

There's really
nothing more
to talk about.

I'm on the pill,
we use condoms,

and we're in love
as much as anyone else.

But I thought
you were going to wait.

Yeah, so?

I thought
you were straight.
Things change.

Don't do that.

Don't use whatever
your mother is going through

as your excuse to
do what you're doing.

If you think you're
doing the right thing

then you don't
need an excuse.

But I suspect
you don't think you're
doing the right thing,

which is why Toby
came and talked to me
and not you.

Well, no one talked to me.

Why didn't you
talk to me about it?

I thought we could
talk about anything.

Is it because I'm gay?

You don't want
to talk to me about sex
now because I'm gay?

I didn't say that.

I just said
that things change.

I just decided
that I wanted to
have sex with Toby,

so I did.

Why?
I just felt like it.

ANNE: But I thought
you two were friends

and that you
wanted to wait until
you were in love

and it would
really mean something.

Hello. I said
I've changed my mind.

He's a nice guy, Ashley,
but you're too young.

You're too young to
be out of high school,

you're too young to
be out on the road,

traveling all over
the country,

you're too young to have
all the freedom you have.

Okay before you
say anything else...

Ashley, do you remember
that cooking school
you applied to in Italy?

Yeah?
No!

You got accepted.

No, you can't go to Italy.
You don't have any money.

And you're not
giving her any.

Toby would love Italy.

I told you that
I would talk to you
if she got in.

Why didn't you
tell me about Toby?

Because there were
other things going on.

You and your girlfriends
have been busy all day

guessing whether or not
Amy and Ricky are married.

Okay, well,
let's go find out,

we can talk
about Ashley later.

I want to talk
about her now.

Now I don't feel like it.

Do we always have to
do what you want to do?

What is taking so long?

I think I know
but I can't say.

What can't you say?

Uh, I can't say.

Why would you say
you can't say

so we all know
you know something?
You know something.

I can't say.

All righty, well, I'm going
to call the hospital

while we're waiting
and see how Ben is.

Uh, this would be
an awkward time

to be calling Ben,
don't you think?

Don't you want to
know if he's okay?

Do you? Do you want
to know if he's okay?

Yeah. I kind of
want to knowow.

I mean
a brain aneurysm
or a heart att*ck,

they're both pretty serious.

He fainted.
He fainted?

And they took him
to the hospital?

Well, that's not
what Ethan said.

Well, Ethan is not always
a reliable source
of information.

Is he still
sitting in the car?

If he hasn't sold it.

Why couldn't you
just leave him at home?

Alone in my house?
What would be
the lesson in that?

The lesson
in this is that since
he can't be trusted,

he goes
everywhere with me.

Where's Dad?
Shouldn't he be here?

Should he?

He's at
a medical convention.

And he's waiting
to hear from me.

And I can't wait
much longer to hear
the big news from you.

Come on, just tell us.
We'll act surprised when
you tell Anne and George.

Nice, Nora.

Okay, can we
do this now?

Where's Ashley?

Oh, come on,
we're not going to
wait for Ashley.

Ashley and Toby are...

They're sleeping together.

Right now?
Not right now. Geez.

I thought she had
been having sex with
Toby for a long time.

Please, can you
discuss Ashley and Toby
some other time?

We have been waiting
all day. Speak!

No. First,
I want to speak.

Do you have to?

Thursday night,

I offered to babysit John
if Ricky and Amy wanted
to go get married.

And I offered
to pay for that.

For them to elope,
stay in a hotel,

whatever they
wanted to do. Ow!

You knew this?

No, I knew
the other thing.

You knew about
Ashley and Toby?
I'm sorry.

All right, time for
Amy and me to say
what we have to say.

No, I'm not
done yet.

I don't want anyone
to say anything
to either one of you

about doing the right thing.
I'm proud of you.

I'm proud of you both.

I was proud of you, Amy,
when you went right back to
school after John was born

and you caught up
with all your classes

and you took that
job at the nursery

and when you
took responsibility
for raising your son.

You're a good mother.

And Ricky, I never thought
I'd be saying this to you,

but you're a good father.

And a good man.

Lot of men
in your situation not only
don't take care of the kid,

they don't take care
of the mother who's
taking care of the kid.

We've always
loved you, Amy,

even when
you got pregnant,
we still loved you.

And we love you now.

Aw, Dad, I love you too.

I'm not done here.
We love you, Ricky.

And we love your son
and our grandson.

We're family.
All of us here are family.

And as coo coo
a family as we are,

we love each other.

Yeah, Margaret,
I even love you.
And you, Nora. And Anne.

And as much as
we've all screwed up,

we still managed
to make a couple of
good human beings,

and that's as much as
any parent can hope for.

Thank you. The end.
Yeah, the end.

Maybe we'd all like
to say something, too.

I don't want anyone
saying anything to these
two brave people.

Amy and Ricky,
it takes guts to
make a commitment,

even if you
did it in secret.

So we missed
the wedding, so what?

This is not about us,
it's about them,
Ricky and Amy.

And I'm sorry
if you think I did
the wrong thing, but I don't.

My Amy deserves
to be married,

she deserves to
have a husband

and John deserves to
have married parents.

So...

We...

...got married.

+

Ashley, where were you?

Come in the house.

Ricky and Amy
just told us
they got married.

No, you go.
I don't really
feel like it.

(SIGHS)
Well I don't either,

but we should be
in there celebrating.

Celebrating that
she's married and she's
a senior in high school?

Mom, really.

I don't like her that much
but I hate to see her
married in high school.

I do, too!

If they were
going to get married,

I think they should have
at least waited
until they were

out of high school,
or college even.

So she has a baby,
so what?

Doesn't mean
she has to be married.

No one has to be married.
I should have been there.

Mimsy wasn't
at your wedding.

Yeah, and looking
at her now,

all the things
I could have done better,

all the times
I could have been nicer,

not having her at my wedding
is at the top of the list.

No offense, but you
couldn't have fixed that

by taking her
to Amy's wedding.

I know that.

But I know now
how she felt being
left out of mine.

Why didn't you have her
at your wedding?

I don't know,
we were pregnant,
then we ran off

and didn't get married
and lied about it.

When we finally
made good on it,

we couldn't go back
and tell her that we'd lied
and take her with us.

Why not?

Because no one wants
to tell their parents

they lied about
something like that.

Tell her now.

She doesn't even
know who I am now.

Well, hey,

none of us knew
who you were
until a week ago.

It's all going
to be all right, Mom.

Especially if I go to
cooking school in Italy.

Ashley,
if you do go to
cooking school in Italy,

why don't you
go by yourself?

I don't mean
live by yourself,

but just go over
and live with a family

or maybe get an apartment
with another girl who's
going to school there.

But I think Toby is
going to want to go.

Really?

Toby is going
to want to follow you
to Italy to cooking school?

Well, yeah.
I just slept with him.

Well, that was
a nice little speech
George made.

Yeah, who knew
George was capable of
telling you he loves you?

Yeah, that was sweet.

But what he said
to you and Amy
was even sweeter.

Aw, Ricky.

You're married.

How does it feel?

I don't know,
it feels just like
not being married.

Hey, are you going
to have a reception?
A what?

Well, you got to have
some kind of party.

I think that was
the point in eloping.

Not having
any kind of party.

I know, but...

I don't think
Anne is happy.

Yeah, well,
George is happy enough
for the both of them.

You know,
Anne'll get over it,

she's just
in a vulnerable
place right now.

And if she
doesn't get over it,

maybe you and Amy could
have a big formal wedding,

you know where
everyone can come.

What? That would be
a complete waste of money.

I know, but...

Anne's going to think
you didn't have a wedding

because you
don't want her there
because she's gay.

Did she say that?
Yeah.

Well, that's not the reason.

What happened to
the fourth of July?

I don't know,
this was spur of the
moment, it was fun.

George didn't push you
into this, did he?

No, no, he didn't.

Amy told me
she wanted to elope

and she hinted
that to George
and he jumped on it.

So this was Amy's idea.

Doesn't matter.

BOTH: Yes, it does.

I'm just glad
the guy finally made
an honest woman out of you.

Dad, that's not
politically correct.

But thanks, I guess.

Look...
I, uh...

I feel bad
that everyone
isn't quite on board,

but that's how it goes.

And your mother
will get over it.

I think she thinks
you didn't have a wedding

because you didn't want
her to bring a date or
something crazy like that.

Maybe I didn't want
you to bring a date.

Really?
You don't like Kathleen?

No, no, I like her,

but Dad,
honestly, a wedding?

With Mom and her date
and you and your date,

no matter who
either of you bring,
it would just be awkward.

And then there's
my group of friends,

Ben and his new girlfriend,

Adrian and
whoever she's with,

Grace and Jack
and Jack and Madison
and... (SCOFFS)

I just started
thinking about it

and my wedding should be
about me and my date.

And it was.

Yeah.

I'm very proud
of you. And Ricky.

Thanks.

And thank you
for saying all those
nice things about us.

Meant every word I said.

And here's
something I didn't say.

Being a teenage mother
is still frowned upon
in this country.

People accept
that it happens

but people judge
everyone involved
when it happens.

People look at you,
they see the kid,

they see you don't have
a ring on your finger,

they judge you,
and they judge Ricky,

and they feel
sorry for John.

And as your father,
that hurts me.

And this
doesn't take away
any of the indignities

you've suffered over
the past few years,

but it makes life better,

for you and your husband

and your family
and our family.

Aw, Dad, I know.

And I know that I have
caused you a lot of trouble

and a lot of
heartache, but...

But today is a new day.

Yesterday was the
first day of the rest of
your life, Mrs. Underwood.

(CHUCKLING)

Let's go.
The doctor said there's
nothing wrong with you.

Not buying it, Ben.

I don't
feel very well.
I collapsed.

At what point
in the conversation
did you collapse?

Before or after
a confession?

We didn't really talk.

Yeah.
You're good at that,
at not talking.

And I don't want
to talk to you here,

where we might
be overheard, I want to
talk to you at home.

I went to see
Dylan's father today.

Oh, God.
Yeah.

No kidding around, Benjamin,
let's get out of here.

We were in the lab.

We lit the Bunsen burner.

We roasted marshmallows
and made s'mores.
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