05x13 - To Each Her Own

[bunniefuu]

GRACE: Previously on
The Secret Life of the American Teenager...

I cannot believe we did that.
I can't either.

Do you remember that cooking
school you applied to in Italy?

Yeah?
You got accepted.

I love you!
I've always loved you!

Hi there.

Don't you recognize me?

No.
Clementine?

She's a girl I lived
with in foster care.

We were at the same
house for not even a year.

I have something to
tell you. What's that?

The divorce papers
came through.

I'm in love with Adrian.
I want to marry her.

Do you know
what you're having?

She's a girl, but I'm
letting a couple adopt her.

The girls are here. They're
walking the halls. There's a party?

If I scream, how much
can you come up with?

How old are you?

Fifteen-year-old-girl gets nabbed by
some guy, turned into a prost*tute.

I'm not your husband.

We have to do
something about that.

My dad got
remarried yesterday.

I'm transferring.

Jack got beaten within an inch of
his life, probably by that pimp.

We would like to
have you in our family.

Shall we pray?

(GASPS) Hi! Hi!

Meet your parents,
baby girl.

It's what we planned,
so I have to.

I have to go
back to my family.

You don't sound as if
you want to go back.

Your grandmother said you
could stay if you want.

She said that she'd
talk to your mom and dad.

She did talk to them, and
then they talked to me,

and I don't know,

I don't want
the first thing I do

after having a baby to be
breaking a promise to my parents.

I promised them
I'd come home when,

as they put it,
all of this was over,

and it's over.

How are you
feeling about that?

You're not a shrink. I've
gone to counseling. I'm okay.

I don't know why people insist
on my being upset and depressed

because the baby
was adopted.

That's a good thing.
Yeah, I know.

I meant how are you
feeling about going back?

I'm conflicted.

I want to do
the right thing.

I mean, I've done enough
wrong things in their eyes,

so if they think I should be with
them, then I want to be with them.

On the other hand,
I really hate to leave.

I'm not the same
person that I was.

I've lost touch
with my friends.

They all eventually
quit texting or calling me,

and I have new friends.

Ethan?
Yeah, Ethan.

And you know,
my other friends.

Jody and Francine?

I don't think I'd
stay for those two.

Don't you think we're
friends? You and me?

I know you're officially just my mentor,

but I kind of think
of you as my big sister.

Do you?
Yeah.

I never had a sister.

Yeah, me neither.
Ashley?

Oh, geez, whoa.
What am I thinking?

I totally forgot
for a moment.

Ashley and I were never
really that close, obviously.

I mean, from time to time, when it's
really counted, she's been there, but...

You really think
of me as a sister?

Hello? I was the first person
who saw your wedding dress.

Yeah.
And I didn't laugh.

It's a great dress.

I'm just saying. Your
showing it to me first

and my not laughing, that's kind
of sisterly, don't you think?

Oh, Kathy,
I'm going to miss you,

I really am.

You're such a nice girl.

I really hate
to see you leave.

And I hate to go.

Everyone back there
knows I had a baby.

Everyone here knows
you had a baby, too.

People are going to talk.
That's just what people do.

You just have
to deal with it.

There I have to deal
with it all by myself.

Here, at least, I have people
on my side standing up for me.

Then maybe you should tell your
parents what you're telling me.

The bottom line is
they don't like Ethan.

They want me away from him. Oh.

And they're not too
crazy about you, either.

Me? What did I do?

Is it John? Or is it
because I'm marrying Ricky?

Both. And that's what they're
afraid would happen if I stay here.

They're afraid that
because I had a baby,

I've grown up too fast and
I'll get married too young.

It's a new year and they want
me to get off to the right start.

Go right back to where I
was before I got pregnant.

Impossible.

Well, maybe you can at least go back
to where you left off a little wiser.

♪ Falling in love is
such an easy thing to do

♪ Birds can do it
We can do it

♪ Let's stop talking
Let's get to it

♪ Let's fall in love

Hi.
Hi.

What are you doing here?

I told you just to tell me what you wanted
on the phone because I've got to study.

I got John and Amy out of the
house and I've got to study.

Can we talk?

About what, Ethan?
What's the emergency?

You already
know what it is.

Kathy leaving is
not an emergency.

No, it is! You have to talk
to Margaret and Shakur for me.

Why's that? Because I
want to go with Kathy.

Go with her where? Back to
Texas? For what? To live?

Live in Texas? Me? No.

I want to talk to
her parents face-to-face

and beg them
to let her live here.

That's between
Kathy and her parents

and that's just what Margaret
and Shakur are going to tell you.

I know.

That's why I'm trying
to figure out

how to get a different answer
out of them, how to play them.

Why don't you just
tell them the truth?

Because it's not
a good enough reason.

Then maybe you
shouldn't ask to go,

or ask, realizing that they're
probably going to tell you no.

And when they do,
don't cry about it.

I can't take
no for an answer.

I have to go there. I have to
at least try to keep her here.

I'm in love
with the girl.

Not up to me.

Okay.

If you were my parent and you
heard what you just heard from me,

would you let me go?

I don't know, maybe.

Ricky said if he was my
parent, he'd let me go.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

That's why we don't play
"what if" in this house.

"What if Ricky were my
parent. " (CHUCKLING)

We play "what is. "

And what is is we are
your parents, not Ricky.

And I think this sounds
like a terrible idea.

What do you think?

I think maybe I should
discuss this with my wife

and then we'll
get back to you.

That's not "I think it
sounds like a terrible idea. "

I'll take it.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

He's 15 and we're going
to put him on a plane

to go talk to two people
who don't like him

so he can ask them if his
girlfriend can stay here

for the next three and a half
years after she's had a baby?

Uh-uh.
He's in love.

So in love.

And I really
like this Kathy.

And please don't
quote the statistics

on how many teenage girls have a baby

and then
have another baby,

even though I know that's what's
going on in the back of your mind.

She's not going to do that,
if that's what you're thinking.

They are not going to
do anything like that.

They're probably already
doing something like that.

But not that.

They're not.
Well.

If her parents want her
back in Houston,

they want her
back in Houston

and we shouldn't
interfere with that.

No, we shouldn't.

But maybe Ethan should,
even if the answer is no.

It's such
a manly thing to do,

to stand up for his woman,
to face the parents

even if they give him a no,
which, more than likely, they will.

At least he did what
he thinks is right,

and at least he's telling
us what he wants to do

instead of stealing
something and selling it

to buy a plane ticket
behind our backs.

Well, I do like that
he came to us

and told us what
he was gonna do.

But Ethan flying around
the country on his own,

I don't know about that.

Come on.

I really think it will
be to his benefit,

and possibly
to her benefit.

All right.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank
you! You won't regret it!

I'm going to need
some money, of course.

(CHUCKLES) Of course.

How'd it go?

With Kathy?
Not that good.

She feels obligated to go back
to Texas to please her parents

but she won't talk to them and tell
them that she doesn't want to go.

But I don't know,
she's 15.

She should probably
go home to her parents.

On the other hand,
this could be the beginning

of her trying to do what
everyone else wants her to do

instead of doing what she
wants to do and that stinks.

Ethan came over here.

He wants to try to fly back with
Kathy and talk to her parents.

Really?
Really.

He took the bus over
so I took him home

and then I went back to
your dad's and picked up John

because I knew I'd just have
to leave again to do that

and then I had to put him
down for his nap

and now I really
have to study.

I know.

But since you've
stopped for the moment...

Moment's over.
Guess what I bought.

If it's over $100,
we agreed to talk about it.

It's not over $100.

Then we don't have
to talk about it.

All right.

All right,
what did you buy?

That's okay.

I changed my mind.

It's probably something you
shouldn't see until we get married.

Oh. So, we're getting
married now?

It's definite?

Uh, yeah.
We agreed.

There's definitely going to be
a wedding on the Fourth of July.

So you keep saying.

Oh, come on, get excited. I'm excited.

Maybe I could get excited.

What'd you buy? Some fancy
lingerie or something?

Like we have the money for some
fancy lingerie or something.

No! I bought

a wedding dress.

Really?
Really.

And it's bad luck for the groom to
see the bride in the dress, so...

So?

We're living together. We're
already saying that we're married.

Come on, show it to me.

All right,
maybe I will.

I'm really
excited about it.

I'm excited about it.

What is that?

It's my wedding gown.

I got it for $25 at a
thrift shop. Isn't it great?

I mean, when it's cleaned up
and altered and everything.

I could just tell it was such a
beautiful dress. And it's a Hara Dara.

(CHUCKLES)
It's a what?

A Hara Dara. She was
world famous at one time.

And then she
made that dress?

It's a great dress,
it is, I swear.

She sold off her line,
but she was a genius.

Really? Because

I don't know anything
about wedding dresses,

but I can tell you
with absolute certainty

that is not
a great dress.

Yes, it is.
You just have no vision.

Oh, no,
I can see all right.

It's dirty, it's too big, and it's used.

So what? I can get it
cleaned up and made to fit

and, you know, reuse,
recycle, it's totally me.

I don't think
it's totally you.

I love you,
but I hate that dress.

Well, I like it.
I don't.

I don't want you to wear
someone else's wedding dress.

Well, I'm going to make
it into my wedding dress.

You don't have to do that.
We'll buy you a brand new dress.

I don't want a brand-new
dress. It's a waste of money.

That's a waste of money.

I don't care if
it was just $25.

You wasted $25

because you can't possibly
be serious about wearing that.

It's ridiculous.

Whoa. You can't tell me what dress
to wear and not to wear to my wedding.

Oh, so it's your wedding
now, not our wedding?

You didn't want any involvement
in it, other than to just show up,

and now you want to tell
me what dress to wear?

I don't think so.

All right, all right,

before we get
into a big fight here...

Too late.

Why don't you show it
to your friends

and your mom and my moms
and see what they think?

I don't care
what they think.

I don't even care what you
think. I love this dress!

No, you don't.

You were trying to start an
argument. That dress is a joke.

And you knew what I'd
think when you put it on.

You're just trying to get out of
this wedding by causing a fight

so you can blame me for the
whole thing falling apart.

You're acting like an idiot
right now, you know that?

Why would you think I'm going
to back out of the wedding now?

Because you
bought that dress.

I'm going for a walk.

(SIGHS)

Twenty-five dollars?
I love it!

It's not just
about saving money.

It's about saving
a beautiful dress.

I don't know.

I mean, I'm all
for recycling.

I have a business
that pretty much revolves

around reuse
and recycle, but...

What do you think,
Willowdine?

I'm with George.

If you can do something
with a $25 dress, go for it.

Never mind.

Okay, you did
that with Nora.

You're not doing
it with her, too.

What'd he do? What's going
on? Did I do something?

I'll just be changing.

I'll help you.

I like Nora.
Nora likes me.

I can't help it.
I'm charming.

Are you?
And funny.

We'll see.

By the way,
Nora's kind of upset

that you're dating
Anne, you know.

Why would she be upset?

I don't know. Either
she's in love with Anne

or she's in love
with you.

Personally, I'd say that
you're the better catch,

Anne being so new
to gay and all.

Hasn't made
any difference so far.

Really?
Really.

And I think you're
mistaken about Nora.

Do you? I mean,
you totally screwed up

that AA meeting for her,
the gay one,

'cause now she can't really talk about
her life or her feelings or anything

because then you'll
go back and tell Anne.

She said that?
Nora said that?

No, I said that.
I'm quite astute.

And right vow I'm astuting
that you're attracted to me.

Wow. Anne was right.
You really are an idiot.

Do you actually think that a
gay woman would sleep with you

just because you'd
get a kick out of it?

Apparently, a gay woman
slept with me for years

just because I got
a kick out of it.

Okay, you are funny.

I will sleep with you.
Really?

Never.

Did I tell you that
he'd hit on you?

Yep.

Hey, before you run off to Kathleen's,
I have to ask you something.

That guy David that I used to
go out with keeps texting me.

And he said that he ran
into you a few months ago,

and he's surprised that he
hasn't heard from either of us.

Why is that?
I don't know.

Give me his number. I'll call him
and tell him to stop bothering you.

I can take care
of myself, thank you.

I'm just going to wander
around, let you two talk.

So, you saw David?

I saw him.
I ran into him.

Okay, so why didn't you
tell me you ran into him?

Because.
Because why?

Because I ran into him and his
two little girls. He has twins.

Really?

But David can't have
children. Did he adopt?

He has children.
Biological children?

I don't know.
Like I was going to ask?

Well, I think I would ask.

Who cares if he has
children? Don't we care?

Why would we care?
Why?

Because once we thought that
David was the father of Robie,

only he couldn't have
children and you could.

You are Robie's father?

Of course I am!

I told you I didn't
have a vasectomy.

But that guy apparently lied about
not being able to have children.

He's the bad guy, not me.

What?
I'm Robie's father.

I was there
when he was born.

I've taken
good care of him.

I've been here for him for the
past two years. I'm his father.

Even if I'm not, so you
don't have to talk to David.

Knock, knock.
Oh, come in.

Oh, right. That's what
you should say to me.

I didn't know
where else to go.

George and Anne
were talking.

It is feeling
a bit awkward.

Mmm. Been there.

So, how's it going
with your girlfriend?

Oh, I don't know if
we should discuss that.

It's not Daters Anonymous.

I mean, just because
you're my AA sponsor

doesn't mean we can't have a
normal, social conversation.

You better be nice
to her, you know.

I am nice to her.

You better be.
I am.

Why are you being
so protective?

Why wouldn't I be?
Anne's my friend

and she's my
son's mother-in-law.

Is that it?

Or do you like her?

I like her. Of course I like
her. She's a really nice woman.

Yeah, she is.
(CLEARS THROAT)

But you know
what I mean.

Do I?

Doesn't seem like a normal
social conversation to me.

Does it to you?

Are you serious about her?

I don't know yet.
Are you serious about her?

Because for some reason,
George seems to think

that you're either interested in
Anne or you're interested in me.

George is an idiot. I think
we've already established that.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Hi, Nora.

Hey, Anne.
Hey, Robie.

Are you ready to go?

Yeah, it's a really
long drive home.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. I just
really want to get home.

Don't worry about it.
I'll drive, sweetie.

Good night, Nora.

Good night.

Sweetie. Ugh.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Hello?

Is Amy still over there?
I don't know. Why?

Did she show
you that dress?

No, I didn't
want to see it.

I didn't feel like hanging
out with Willowdine and Anne.

Why not?

They're at that obnoxious
stage in their relationship

where they think they're in love
with each other or something.

Did Amy show
you the dress?

She showed me the dress. We had a
big fight and then I walked it off

but when I got home
and apologized,

she took off and left
me with John again.

Not that I mind
being with John again,

but I had to feed him
and put him to bed

and she knows I've got
this placement test tomorrow.

It's only 8:00.

Yes, and then it's
only 9:00 and only 10:00

and only 11:00
and then it's midnight.

Then I have to sleep because
I've got this test tomorrow.

Never mind.

This is going to be fun.
Yeah.

I can't wait to see it.
Yeah. Me too.

You're not even
interested, are you?

It's just that
every minute counts

and this could be
a waste of time.

It's not a waste of time. It's sharing
with our friends, making memories.

It's just that it's time we
make our own memories, Grace.

Life is short. Time
is very precious to me.

I know, but like everyone
keeps reminding you,

you're young. You're
going to live a long life.

Yeah, and I want
to live it with you.

To the fullest.
Each and every day.

That's so sweet.

And so near death experience.

Let's just try
to enjoy life

and not take every single
second so seriously.

I mean, everything is going
to be fine. Everything is fine.

I thought you were going to
show us your wedding dress.

This is it.
This is my wedding dress.

What do you think, Grace?

It's gonna be altered
and cleaned, of course.

It's just got
such great lines.

I got it from a thrift store.
Grace, it's a Hara Dara.

Are you kidding?
No.

Are you sure it's
not a fake Hara Dara?

Are you sure it's not part
of a burka or something?

Jack, no. It's a one of a kind
dress from a very famous designer.

Amy, God is good. Marriage
is a union made by God.

You have to honor the sacred
commitment you're about to make.

For a second time.

Uh, yeah, Jack,
I know that,

but I don't have to spend a lot
of money in order to do that.

I love this dress.

Yeah. It's unique.

Amy, life is short and
each moment is precious.

Do you want to spend
the moments of your life,

nay, our lives,
in that dress?

"Nay"?

You don't get it,
but you'll see.

It's going to be
a beautiful dress.

And you're all going to be so
shocked to see how it comes out.

(WHISPERS) Holy cow!
She's lost her mind!

I cannot believe it!
I wonder what Ricky thinks.

I know.

Oh, dear Lord,
I have turned into a girl.

I've been here so long I'm your girlfriend
now. I'm gossiping. I'm whispering.

Who are you texting?
Who else?

Amy, Adrian wants
you to drop by.

She's dying to
see your dress.

I thought it was bad luck for the groom
to see the dress before the wedding.

You're not the groom.

She says she showed Ricky.

They're already married.
It doesn't count.

Plus, I'm dying to see it.

Grace says it's hideous.

How hideous could
a wedding dress be?

Oh, wow!

Oh, you guys.
You just don't get it.

It's a great dress. It just
needs to be fixed up a little bit.

No, I wasn't saying
anything negative.

I just meant,
"Oh, wow, isn't that a... "

I told you you could
wear my dress.

You'll just
have to take it up.

Wear the dress you wore
to marry her old boyfriend?

Oh, so what?
It's better than...

Going to all the expense, time
and trouble to patch that up.

I want to go to the expense,
time and trouble to patch this up.

And I want everyone
to see it now

because you're all going
to be totally blown away

when you see it
again at the wedding.

Isn't that a Hara Dara?

Yeah!
What?

I've helped out
at a lot of weddings.

You know,
my mom marries people.

I know a dress label, a wedding
dress designer. Doesn't make me gay.

No, that doesn't
make you gay, but...

Okay.

You know dress designers,
wedding dress designers,

but you don't know that your
furniture looks like crap in here?

No, it doesn't.
Yes, it does.

This is yours?
Yes, this is mine.

And it's comfortable and I
just bought it a year ago,

so I don't want
to get rid of it.

You bought it from
a thrift store.

Oh, yeah.
That's where I got this.

A Hara Dara?
Yeah.

No way.

Stop. Right now.

Really, you don't want to wear someone
else's wedding dress that you don't know.

You know me. Wear my
dress. Ben won't care.

This isn't about Ben.

Besides, I really think
this one will work.

Who cares who
it belonged to, it's...

It's a nice dress

and it'll make a good story to
tell your kids when you grow up.

What?

You said,
"When you grow up. "

You mean, "When
your kids grow up. "

Did I say that? I didn't mean
that. You're plenty grown up.

And I think it's admirable that
you're doing what you're doing.

Yeah, you don't have to spend a
lot of money to have a nice wedding.

No, I meant
it's admirable

that you and Ricky
are getting married,

or I guess I should say
you and Ricky got married,

and you're raising
your son together.

Thank you.

Um, I'm just gonna

get changed.
It's getting late.

I should be
getting home.

That's exactly
what she did.

The admirable thing
and now she's stuck.

What?

I think she wishes
she hadn't married Ricky.

I think she regrets it and now
she's stuck having a wedding

and she's not going to spend
money on a wedding dress

because it's not going
to be her last wedding.

And look, I'm not saying that
because I wish it didn't last.

I mean, I wish them both nothing
but love, peace and happiness,

but I can tell.

Something is wrong.
Something is very wrong.

That dress reflects her feelings
about her union with Ricky.

(CHUCKLES) I think someone's
taking freshman psychology

a little too seriously.

And someone knows just a little
bit too much about wedding dresses.

You say Hara Dara,
I say hari-kari.

She's on a su1c1de mission.
She wants out.

Well, she'll be
going out in style.

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

(CHUCKLES)

Please, please,
let me go with you.

You can't.

Please don't make me
say that to you again.

There's no
point in going.

They'll just say no and
it'll make me upset and angry.

It's hard enough
to say goodbye now.

Think about how much
harder it will be

if my parents are yelling at
you to get out of our house.

So this is it?

We say goodbye here
and that's the end of it?

There's no end to it, really.

I'll always have
wonderful memories of you

and I hope that we
can always be friends.

Friends for life.

Friends for life
stay together for life

and get married
and have children.

I don't know if I'll ever want to
be married and have children, okay?

So, please,
just say good night.

And I'll talk to you
when I get home.

All right, then.

Good night.

You're out-voted.
The dress is fine.

Good night.

If you had a problem with
this, why didn't you say so?

Oh, I had a problem
with it all right,

because I know
where that came from.

She gave it
to me for Christmas.

Apparently, I had left it
when I got moved out

of the house we were in
together and she kept it.

Yeah, she kept it for all of those
years because she's in love with you.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

I saw it, I got angry
about it and then I left.

I'm not angry
about it anymore.

I'm not angry about
anything, so good night.

And if I'm
angry about anything,

I should just leave it
alone and say good night?

You insulted me and my
choice in bridal gowns,

you doubt my commitment to
want to get married to you

and then I find a gift
from a childhood friend

which probably means

you're the one who has
doubts about marrying me.

But I'm letting it go,

so whatever you're angry
about, just let it go.

I don't want to let it go. I don't
want to just sweep it under the rug.

I wasn't hiding
that trophy from you.

It was right
there on the shelf.

Yeah.
Hiding in plain sight.

I put it there the day she gave it
to me and then I forgot about it.

It wasn't that important.
It's not sentimental to me.

I don't care about Clementine
in the way I care about you.

You're my wife and
the mother of my child.

You seem to keep forgetting
that I'm not your wife.

Amy, I'm telling
you right now

if you are not going through
with this wedding, I want to know.

I don't want
to drag this out.

Let's just get it
out in the open.

Let's tell everyone we're not
married and we're not getting married

if that's how you feel.

But it's not, Ricky.

I got really excited
about the wedding,

maybe for the first time,
when I saw that dress.

I just got this
picture in my mind

of how beautiful
it's going to be.

And how nice it's going to be
to finally be officially married

soso there's no doubt
that we love each other

and that we are
raising our son together

and that we are committed to
making this work for a lifetime.

I love hearing you say that.
I just wish I believed it.

Because I'm sensing
a lot of doubt.

Yeah, well, that's
your problem, Ricky.

That's not my problem,
so goodnight.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Hey, can I come in?
I saw your light on.

Yeah, come in.

Can't sleep again?

I sleep in the daytime.

Still can't sleep
at night, huh?

I'm working on it.

Yeah, well, you're back
to school tomorrow,

so you're going
to need the sleep.

What's on the phone?

Amy has purchased a dress
for the upcoming wedding.

Let me see.

You are seeing. That's it.

Maybe I need glasses.
Can you blow it up?

It looks like a rag.

Yeah, she looks
like Miss Havisham.

Who's Miss Havisham?

Ugh. I hate that look!

It's a "how can you not know
who Miss Havisham is" look!

It's a reference to
something at school, isn't it?

It's from Great Expectations.
The hair place?

No, the novel?
By Charles Dickens.

Miss Havisham is this wealthy
spinster who looks like a witch.

You know what? It wasn't
even a good analogy.

Now you want to tell me
what an analogy is?

It's a comparison of sorts.
I'm sorry.

I just hate feeling
stupid. I hate school.

You're not stupid.
You're far from stupid.

So, why is she wearing a
rag for a wedding dress?

I don't know. She got
it at the thrift store

and that's what she
wants to get married in,

or she wants to make it into something
she can get married in, anyway.

Yeah, well, I guess since
they're already married,

it's not that big a deal, this wedding.

Uh, we'll see.

So, you don't think
they're married?

Or you don't think they'll
get married again?

What? No.
I didn't say that.

That I don't think they're married.
Or that they won't get married again.

Your face said that.
No, it didn't.

Uh-huh, it did.

No, it didn't.

And why do you think
you can just read my face?

Survival skill.
I can read any guy's face.

So, what's going on?

She's not really
married, is she?

She's married.

I can read Amy's face, too. And?

And her face says sometimes
when you have to live your life

according to what
other people want or need,

sooner or later,
you cr*ck.

You better try
to get some sleep, huh?

You're kicking me out?

Have to. I have
to get some sleep.

That's going to be
difficult for you

now that you know that I
know that Amy's not married.

Uh... Yes, she is.

"Uh, uh, uh. "

Good night.

You say "uh" when you get
nervous, you know that?

Hi, husband.

Hi, wife. Are you coming up to bed soon?

No, you go ahead. I didn't
get to read the paper today.

And Chloe is still
wandering the house?

Yeah.

All right, well,
goodnight. I love you.

I love you, too.

Do me a favor,

say goodnight to Ben and see
if she's still in his room.

Okay, and if she is?

She isn't.
She's right here.

I'm not going to try to have sex
with Ben, if that's what you think.

Night.

Is that what you think?

No, that's not what I
think. You still can't sleep?

I haven't slept in years.
I don't really need to sleep.

And no, I can't sleep.

Nightmares? Afraid that
guy's gonna show up?

He won't show up.
You're safe here.

Ah. It's school, isn't it?

School starts
again tomorrow.

I hate school.
I'm like two years behind

and it would be three, but then they'd
have to put me back in middle school.

And they certainly don't want
any hookers in the middle school.

Certainly not.
(CHUCKLES)

Come on, sit down, read the
paper to put you to sleep.

Sit down
and read the paper.

Look up anything
you don't understand

and you'll be smarter than anyone
else at that school, guaranteed.

Amy Juergens
isn't really married.

Guess that's why Ben's
been acting so crazy.

Yo. Chloe.

You got 20 minutes
to get ready for school.

Huh? Looks like you got some sleep.

But you got to get a
shower, change clothes,

grab something
for breakfast

and you've only got
20 minutes to do it.

Maybe I'll just wait until
tomorrow, go back then.

Then you'll be a day
behind. Come on, let's go.

I'm already behind. Years.

I can take you or Dad can
take you. It's up to you.

And not a word about what you
think you can read on my face.

So, is she up?

Yeah, I told her
she had 20 minutes,

which I'm sure will
turn into a half hour.

So, ready to get
back to school?

Are you kidding? Yeah. The sooner
we get back, the sooner I get out.

Six months of high
school left and counting.

You should really make the most
out of those months, you know.

Enjoy yourself.
Have a good time.

But not too good a time?

Don't do anything illegal,
but have a good time.

Make the most
out of those months.

I'll give it a sh*t,

in between trying
to keep my grades up

and hoping for more
choices with college...

(STAMMERS)

What is wrong with you?
Nothing.

Just want you to get off to
a fresh start to a new year.

And you know what else?

We should start planning
something for the summer.

Your last summer before
you go off to college.

Maybe you should think
about going back to Italy,

using that as a home base to
see as much of Europe as you can.

Well, maybe for
part of the summer.

Oh? What are you going
to do with the other part?

I don't know. I guess I'd want to
be here for Amy and Ricky's wedding.

Huh? Why you want to be here for that
when you could be in London or Paris?

After all these years of watching
those two go back and forth,

no, I want to be there.

What if you stick around and they
change their minds or something?

You would have
wasted your time.

They won't
change their mind.

Amy bought a wedding dress this weekend.

Good. Good for Amy.

And you know that how?

Word gets around. I better
go get ready for school.

But thank you for the offer to
travel next summer, sounds good.

Okay, we're leaving.

All right.

Have a good day.

Thanks. You, too.

Bye, John.
Bye.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I don't know why I care
what dress you wear.

You wear any dress you want,
including the scary one.

It won't be scary
when I'm finished with it.

Hey, if you can make
a man out of me,

you can make a dress
out of that pile of rags.

I didn't make a man out of you, you did.

And you're
a very nice man

and you're going to make
a wonderful husband.

You're already
a wonderful father.

I can't believe we fell into
fighting about the wedding.

It's just 50 people eating in my
parents' backyard on the Fourth of July.

And whether we said I do or not
the last time we had a wedding,

I already feel
married to you.

And are you happy
being married to me?

Of course I am.

I am.

I'll see you tonight.

Okay, have a good day.

Hey, nice dress
you picked out.

Thanks for the picture.

I don't know
why I did that.

Or I do know
why I did that.

I was angry at Ricky so I went to
show all of my friends and family

what a great dress I had found and
absolutely no one agreed with me,

except for maybe Omar.

Doesn't matter. I was
just looking for sympathy

and for someone
to be on my side,

and you've always been on my
side, so I sent that picture.

And if my husband knew,
he'd be very upset with me,

and I couldn't bring
myself to tell him,

not last night, not this morning,
but I am going to tell him.

And I already told him that
you don't think we're married,

so I really screwed up.

You're not married.

I might as well be.
And I'm going to be.

I don't know
why I'm not happy.

Because you're tired
of doing the right thing.

You're tired of doing what
everyone else wants you to do

and you just
want to run away.

Yeah.

You know,
the stupid thing is that

I imagine most moms feel
that way from time to time,

and it should be okay for me to
feel that way every once in a while,

to have doubts,
to want more,

to question whether or not
this is all there is to life.

I love Ricky.

I'm just afraid of failing.

I'm afraid of our marriage
failing, of him leaving me,

or even worse,

that I'll leave him and then
regret it for the rest of my life.

Thank you, Ben,
for being my friend.

And for even being
obsessed with me

between girlfriends
and wives.

It's made me feel good
about myself somehow

and if you never
find anyone else, Ben,

then I'll really, really have regrets
about even talking to you, so...

I hope that
you do find someone.

You deserve someone, Ben.

Kathy's at the airport.
She's leaving.

I offered to go with her
to talk to her parents

and beg them
to let her stay,

but she wouldn't
leme do that.

Any advice?

Yeah. Let's go.

I'll drive you
to the airport

and you run to that plane
as fast as you can

and you tell her
how much you love her

and how you'll
never let her go,

unless it becomes
uncomfortable for her

or feels more like
stalking or something,

and then you go to her parents
and you state your case.

And if that doesn't work,
you go back,

and then you
go back again

until no one doubts that
you love this woman

and want to be with her
for the rest of your life!

What time's the flight?

I think it's in an hour. I
never canceled the reservation.

Let's go!

I knew this is going to happen.
I knew it!

I knew it the second I laid my
eyes on those evil, blonde twins.

I knew it was trouble.

You really think there's
a possibility, George?

Yeah, I do think
there's a possibility.

And you never thought
there was a possibility

that David was
the father before?

I told you. He said
he couldn't have children.

I should have known he was
lying. I should have known!

I mean, Anne and I are brunettes.
We've only had brunettes.

Anne is a redhead.

Like I said,
Anne and I are brunettes.

George. (CHUCKLES)

Robie's a blonde.

Brown, brown, blonde. There
are no brown, brown, blondes.

Brown is dominant. Two
browns don't make a blonde.

It's brown, brown, brown, not
brown, brown, blonde. Ever.

No, it's possible.
It's totally possible.

Brown, brown, blonde.

My mom and dad, brown, brown,
and I was blonde as a kid.

Huh?
Chaz Bono.

Sonny, brown, Cher,
brown, me, blonde as a kid.

Yeah, well, I hate to bring
this up, but Gregg Allman?

You sure?

Blonde or brunette,
I still love him.

He's my son and no one is
taking him away from me.

Aw.

Apparently, my first wife was having
an affair with our fertility doctor.

I paid a lot of money
for a lot of lies.

And when did you find out
that you could have children?

You remember my assistant?

The one who hated me?

I married her.
When she got pregnant.

With twins.
And yes, they are mine.

And that's why I'm here.

Robie is not your son.

He could be.
He looks like mine.

And it never occurred to you
before you ran into George

to contact me when you found
out that you can have children?

George seemed absolutely
sure that the baby was his

and you both seemed
absolutely sure

that you never
wanted to see me again.

And I've kind of
been caught up

in some legal stuff with my
first wife and her husband,

the aforementioned
fertility doctor.

As well as caught up with
starting a family and being a dad.

I like being a dad.
I'm a good dad.

Please. You have your girls.
Just leave us alone, David.

George is Robie's father.

Anne, you don't really
think I can do that, do you?

Just leave it alone?
I can't.

But I am going to give you
some time to get a DNA test.

It's really easy,

and after you
get that test,

hopefully in the next
few weeks, then call me.

And if I don't?

If you don't, then I'm going to
ask for the test through the courts.

But I know you, Anne.
You're a good woman

and you're going to want
to know the truth, too.

I just... (SIGHS)

I can't believe this.

Hey, you and I
were totally careless.

If Robie is my son, he probably
happened on our first date,

same thing happened to your
daughter and her boyfriend.

Husband.
They got married.

Good for them.

Guess that's out
of the question for us.

That's not funny.

Look, if Robie is my son,

I want to be
involved in his life

and that means that you and I are
gonna be involved in each other's lives,

so let's get this process
started as soon as possible

and let's try and
keep it amicable.

I've been nothing but good to
you, Anne, and you know that.

Even when you and George
were not so nice to me.

I think you're getting a
little ahead of yourself.

/CMaybe I am,
but I've got a feeling.

You're giving it
back to me. Why?

It was really nice of you
to give this to me.

It was really thoughtful.

And I was shocked
that you even had it,

that you'd kept it
for all those years,

but I feel funny
about taking it.

Oh. Okay.

But it's not the only
one I have, you know.

I have a few of them.

I didn't know.

So, do you mind returning
it to the collection, then?

No, happy to keep
the complete

Ricky baseball
trophy collector set.

And you're keeping
all my trophies because?

Because of all the crummy
childhood memories I have,

you're the only nice one.

What can I get you?

Nothing. Thanks.

I think I'm going
to quit drinking coffee

before it becomes
dangerous to my health.

See you around, Clementine.

I'll be here.

Hi.

It's your lucky day. Your ticket
is being upgraded to first class.

(SCOFFS) Yeah, right.

Are you Kathy?

Yeah?
Right this way.

Did my dad do this
or something?

Or something.
If you could take your seat,

we're trying to close the
door so we can be on our way.

If you'd rather have
the window seat...

What are you doing?

I'm going home with you.

These seats are compliments
of Ben Boykewich,

although I strongly suspect the
Sausage King is footing the bill.

Ethan, I can't believe you did this!

I wanted you to do something
like this, but it was just

unfair for me to ask, or
to even want you to do this.

Look, I'm going
to take my best sh*t

and if it
doesn't work out,

I'll keep sh**ting.