01x07 - Daddy's Little Princess

Episode transcripts for the TV show "K.C. Undercover". Aired: January 2015 to February 2018.*
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A high-school math whiz trains to be an undercover spy.
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01x07 - Daddy's Little Princess

Post by bunniefuu »

Agents, this is Operation
Protect the Prince.

Ooh. I wonder what we're gonna be doing.

This is Tanzaberia.

Wow.

Tanzaberia is Tanza-tiny.

(Chuckles)

The country has been at w*r with Zambakia,

its neighbor to the south,
but young Prince Promomomo,

the acting ruler, has called a truce.

His face has never been seen
publicly for security reasons.

Security reasons or insecurity reasons?

Because I got a feeling
under that veil homeboy

is sporting one heck of a royal zit.

The prince has agreed to sign
a peace treaty with Zambakia,

but his political enemies
may try to stop him.

That's why he'll be staying at the last
place anyone would ever look for him.

Our house.

Uh, wait a minute.

With Judy and mom on that mission, I
have been the only girl at this house.

Do you know how many socks I
picked up in the past hours?

I mean, seriously, how
many feet can two guys have?

I am ashamed of you, K.C.

Worrying about yourself
instead of the greater good.

He'll be staying in your room, Ernie.

That's not fair!

There's someone already
sleeping in Ernie's room.

Ernie.

Where am I supposed to sleep?

You'll be staying at
the Tanzaberian Embassy.

You're posing as a decoy prince
until the treaty is signed.

Yes!

I'm finally gonna get the
royal treatment I deserve.

Of course.

All hail Prince "goes to the movies alone."

(Knocking on door)

Greetings.

I am Olu, the royal attache of
Prince Promomomo of Tanzaberia.

Well, welcome to our home, Your Majesty.

Man, this stinks.

You get to vacation at an embassy
and I'm stuck here with this guy.

Ya-ya-ya.
Wow.

You must be Miss K.C.

It is my pleasure to
make your acquaintance.

I know, Your Hello-ness.

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their heads so cool ♪


♪ I always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪


♪ But don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect, so many things I ♪

♪ Want to tell you, but I ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Living my life on red alert ♪

♪ Doing my thing, gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪


♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I got to find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ I keep it undercover, cover ♪

Yeah, so...

You have a beautiful home.

Not as beautiful as your face.

I beg your pardon.

Huh, what? Nothing.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Prince, I'll show you to your
room which I am happy to say

is at the opposite end
of the hall from K.C.'s.

Who is the hunka hunka hotness?

Oh, him, he's a...

Just some foreign exchange student

that's kind of staying with us for a while.

What, that you conveniently
forgot to mention was coming?

(Whispers) Oh, I bet this is spy stuff.

(Whispers) Yes, it is.

Okay.

But you cannot tell a soul, okay?

Cross your heart, tell no lies, wear
ugly shoes 'til the day you die.

Like I'd ever wear ugly shoes.

All right, "hunka hunka,"
your words, not mine.

He's a prince and he's hiding out here.

He is a prince and he is that cute?

Jackpot!

Eh, whatever.

I hadn't really noticed.

(Gasps) You like him.

No, I don't.

Fine, then can I go out with him?

Don't you dare.

Okay, maybe I like him a little bit.

You know, Olu, I've sat on the throne
many times before, but never in public.

And by the way, you may want to spray
some air freshener by the other throne.

I had to give it two royal flushes.

(Laughs)

Good one, Your Highness.

(Sighs)

I could get used to this.

How long do you think it'll last?

Oh, I would say at least until
the assassination attempt.

I'm sorry. The assassa-what now?

So what are we doing today?

Well, my dad has a meeting with the
organization, I'm going to school,

and you are going to stay here, okay?

Avoid the windows and
do not answer the door.

Oh, change of plans.

The prince wishes to attend public school.

Well, if the prince wishes to live,
the prince will stick with the plan.

Isn't there any way you
can take me with you?

Please.

I would love to spend the
rest of my life with you.

I would love to spend the
rest of my life with you.

Rest of my day, take you to my school.

I... I just cannot
compromise your safety.

Well, I guess I will never know the
joys of sitting in a real school,

studying my favorite subject, math.

He likes math.

(Clears throat)

Math you say.

I kind of like math too.

Oh.

Education is very important to me.

My platform as prince is to ensure

that every girl in my
country attends university.

That is a very sturdy platform.

Smart girls make strong women.

They are the key to success of any nation.

Preach!

You know, the more I think about it,
the more I realize, it would almost be

irresponsible of me to
leave you here alone.

I would be much safer with you,

and I would not leave
your side for one minute.

Sold.

Have a seat, prince. Relax.

No way.

A moving target is harder to hit.

Did you learn that in spy training?

Nope. Dodgeball.

All this moving around is making me hungry.

Ooh!

Will this suffice?

Are you kidding? I'm
going to stuff my face.

I hope it's okay.

Okay? It's amazing.

I meant hopefully the food isn't poisoned.

I particularly enjoyed the whole bell
ringing ceremony they did in class

which lead to the processional of students.

Well, actually that was the fire
drill, but you waving and greeting

the students as they passed
added a real touch of class.

I must tell you, K.C., I truly loved
spending time with you today.

Me too.

Hey, Daddy.

How was your day?

Have I told you lately how much I love you?

And we thought you were
gonna get assassinated today.

K.C. Coretta Scott Cooper,
what was the assignment?

To hide the prince.

"To hide the prince." What did you do?

Not hide the prince.

"Not hide the prince!"

You compromised the mission.

It was not her fault.

You, wait in the other room.

It is unlawful of you
to speak to me this way.

I am the prince of...

Now! Yes, sir.

Dad, I apologize for losing focus, okay?

It's just that...

he's so cute.

Are you giggling?

(Giggling) Yes.

No.

I mean, the prince is just so great.

He likes math.

Oh, good.

Then he'll understand you plus him
divided by me equals how it's gonna be.

You know what, I'm just gonna
subtract myself from this situation.

(Cell phone ringing)

What is it, Ernie?

Dad, I don't trust the food around here.

It may be poisoned.

You're being paranoid, boy.

Just bring me a fried egg sandwich.

I'll even settle for a raw egg sandwich.

Ernie, you're my son. I love you.

I would never put you in danger.

Now leave me alone!

Yo, prince, get your highness in here.

Agent Cooper, I think now is a good time

to say that I admire
your daughter very much

and that she and I...

Zip it.

I am the king of this castle.

And this is how it's gonna be.

I don't want you so much
as looking at my daughter.

If she talks to you,
you look the other way.

But, sir, if I may...

No, you may not!

You so much as smile
that pretty smile at K.C.

and I will declare w*r
on your Tanza-behind.

Am I clear?

Crystal, King Cooper.

So then, I took him to
his first ever froyo,

and Promomomo loved it
so much, he was like,

"I must have this froyo for my people."

So get this, he bought the company...

No.

...and he's changing
the name to Froyo Momo.

Wow, you guys are really hitting it off.

I know.

We are totally, totally clicking.

Oh, hey, morning.

Uh, I'm headed to school, but I can
get you some froyo on the way home.

Don't bother.

Uh, K.C., I don't think you guys
are totally, totally clicking.

You're not even regular clicking.

In fact, he seems to hate you.

I don't know what happened.

I mean, everything was great yesterday.

Well, he is perfect, so I'm gonna
have to assume the problem is you.

Thank you, Marissa,
for being so supportive.

I'm sorry, but if you want to date a
prince, you have to dress the part.

He has to see you as the future
queen, not some hip-hop sh*t putter.

M.C. Androgynous.

Lady Blah-blah.

Be-yawn-ce!

Okay, I get it. I need a new outfit.

You might think one stooge
would be enough, but no,

here in America, they have three.

Three stooges!

Hello, Your Highness.

Now is not a good time.

Are you wearing a traditional
royal Tanzaberian dress?

Oh, this old thing.

Just a little something I had lying around.

Wow!

Thank you.

You look like my great-grandmother.

Wait.

Isn't this how girls in your country dress?

Yes.

A very popular style...

years ago.

Why are you wearing this?

Well, yesterday we had so much fun
and now you won't even look at me.

Now I just feel stupid.

And very itchy.

K.C., I do like you.

You do?

Then why did you freeze me out?

Because your father threatened me
if I didn't stay away from you.

Oh, he did, did he?

Hey, baby.

How was your day?

Have I told you lately how much I love you?

Craig George Washington
Carver Cooper Junior...

what were you thinking making
the prince stay away from me?

Well, what choice did I have?

I mean, you were all...

(Giggling)

And he was all...

(Mumbling)

This is not a good week
for your mother to be away.

Tell me about it.

There are some things that a girl needs

to talk to her mom about and not her dad.


Hey, I'm a spy.

I played many roles.

I'm pretty sure I can
handle being your mom.

Try me.

Okay...

Mom.

Dad is being the biggest jerk in the world.

What are you talking about?

I...

Craig, let me handle this.

Your father is very caring and loving.

It's just that he can't
stand the thought of you

getting involved with someone
who's not good enough for you.

Couldn't have said it better myself, Kira.

Not good enough?

He's a prince.

You wanna handle this one, honey?

Sure.

Princes are a dime a dozen, baby.

You need to wait for a man like your father

who's the most wonderful man in the world.

Oh, Kira, you say the sweetest things.

That's because you are the sweetest thing.

Oh, there's my baby. Give me a hug.

Okay, game over.

Look, all I'm asking is for a little
time just to hang out with him.

You mean like a date?

Well, I mean, yeah.

I really like him.

Please.

Oh. Okay, fine.

You can hang out with him,
but you're not going anywhere.

You can watch a movie in the house.

Thank you.

You are the best mom in the whole...
You know what I mean, Dad.

(Cell phone ringing)

It's not a good time, Ernie.

Well, it's not a good time for me either.

Someone is about to try and
turn me into an ex-fake prince.

How many times do I have to
tell you, you're in no danger?

Mmm, beg to differ.

I was on the throne, the other throne,

when I overheard people
talking through the vent.

They're gonna try and take
out the prince tonight.

It's going down!

I'll be there as fast as I can.

Okay, new plan.

An att*ck on the prince
is actually happening.

The three of us are gonna go
over to the embassy to stop it.

Uh, really?

You are going to bring the actual
target of the assassin to the location

where the assassination is taking place?

Okay.

Didn't think that one through.

I'll be back as fast as I can.

Oh, and, prince, hand
over the breath spray.

Wow.

And I thought I had the smooth moves.

I did not even see you turn off the lights.

Because I didn't.

(Groans)

Get down, we're under att*ck.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Stay down.

Oh. I am a proud man.

I cannot let someone else fight my battles.

Don't just stand there,
spy girl, fight my battles!

You bring night vision
goggles on a first date?

You brought lip balm.

There's a better chance I
need these than you need that.

I should've installed a nanny cam.

How could you not bring
me something to eat?

I could have my eye on your sister
and that prince as we speak.

Are you listening to me?

I haven't had anything to eat in days.

Fine.

We'll grab a burger for you after we leave.

I wish these Zambakians would
hurry up with this assassination.

Excuse me!

Attempt. I meant assassination attempt.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Last one.

Hey, where's Olu?

He's never supposed to
leave the prince's side.

I don't know. He took off an hour ago.

He said he has some
business to take care of.

(Grunting)

Man, what the heck did
you eat for breakfast?

Concrete?

You know what they say...

the bigger they are...

the more fun it is to kick their butts.

(Groans)

You saved my life.

I don't know how I can thank you.

You don't have to. It's kind of my job.

Well, maybe I can think of one way.

Hold it right there.

It's okay, Dad, we caught the k*ller.

Yeah, I was talking
about Prince Kissy-lips.

Olu? How could you betray me?

How could you betray your country?

Because Tanzaberia is not my country.

I am a proud Zambakian.

As long as I have a say,
there will never be peace...

Peace out.

Oh, I am so happy to
bring peace to my country.

And I would like to thank my American host,

especially the person who
risked their life for me.

Feels good to be acknowledged.

And it did not hurt that it
was someone of such beauty.

Oh, what a sweetheart that prince is.

(Indistinct chatter)

So I guess this is goodbye.

Yes.

I wish there was a way we
could spend more time together.

If only I could stay here for a while.

But you can't. And you're just...
You don't have a normal life.

Your country is counting on you.

How do you know of such things?

Well, because I do not
have a regular life either.

And sometimes I have to do things because
my country is counting on me, too.

Your country is very lucky
to have you, K.C. Cooper.

Hey, this does not have
to be goodbye forever.

I mean, someone else could always try
to k*ll you and I could save you again.

One can only hope.

You know, sweetie, I'm really proud of you.

As a spy, you've proven over and over
that you can take care of yourself,

which makes me think
why can't I let you date.

Wait a minute.

Was that you talking or Mom?

I'm just saying.

If you can handle yourself
with all these bad guys,

you should be able to handle
yourself with one good guy.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

Oh.

Just one question.

Did he kiss you?

Dad! Did he?

Se...
Did he?

Seriously. Oh.

Did he? Did he?

Did he?

Did he?

Did he? Oh.

Did he?

He did, didn't he? He did!

Girl: Rob, your name's on TV!
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