01x11 - Double Crossed Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "K.C. Undercover". Aired: January 2015 to February 2018.*
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A high-school math whiz trains to be an undercover spy.
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01x11 - Double Crossed Part 2

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously...

The Organization is pairing
you with Brett Willis.

(Craig) He was just named the
Organization's junior spy of the year.


- Pretty cool.
- I love hearing that from my girlfriend.

I'm his girlfriend.

"I'm coming for you.

All of you. Zane."

We're on our own.

He's out there, and he won't
stop until he finds us.

Hey, let me talk to Zane.

Tell him it's his son.

Hey, Dad. Yeah, your plan's working.

I'm in.

Look at you!

You have legs.

I haven't seen you in a
skirt since the second grade.

I haven't seen you in a
library since second grade.

Think Brett's gonna like it?

Oh, he is going to love it.

What do you think, Judy?

Why are you going to so much
trouble for a stupid boy?

Because I really like this stupid boy...

I mean this boy.

Well, I like free Wi-Fi, but I
don't get all dressed up for it.

It's different when it comes to boys.

Especially when it's... love.

Oh, please, it is not love.

Wait. Is it love?

I might be in love.

What exactly is love?

Well, um... it's when you can't
stop thinking about someone,

and you want to be
around them all the time.

Then, when you see them, your heart races,

you get butterflies in your stomach.

Still doesn't sound better
than free Wi-Fi to me.

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep things hustle cool ♪

♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪

♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect ♪

♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪

♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪

♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

I keep it undercover.

I keep it undercover.

I'm so happy you're my boyfriend.

And I'm so happy you're my girlfriend.

And I'm so happy you're
my daughter's boyfriend.

(Goofy laughter)

Thank you, Mr. Cooper.

I can only hope that one day,

we'll have the same loving,
supportive, harmonious relationship

that you and the lovely Mrs. Cooper have.

Well, I'd be happy to give you some tips.

This is what I call "Craig Cooper's
ways to keep your lady happy."

How about instead,

you give us Craig Cooper's one
way to give us some privacy?

You heard 'em, Kira.
They want us to be alone.

Get your butt over here.

There's something about
that kid I don't like.

KC? She's your daughter.

I'm talkin' about him.

Why? He's perfect.

Yeah, a little too perfect if you ask me.

If something seems too good
to be true, it usually is.

Like that peanut butter
and jelly in a jar stuff.

That was all sorts of nasty.

But this kid is great.

Yeah. I don't know.

Call it a mother's intuition, but
I feel like he's up to something.

Seriously, I wish we could just have
one day without your parents around.

Tell me about it.

I'm still thinkin', if this works out,

who's my daddy gonna walk
down the aisle, me or you?

Why choose? I can make two trips.

(Goofy laughter)

All right, Robo-Sis, shove over.

I wanna try out my new video game.

Be my guest. This movie stinks.

The lady bats her eyes, puts
her hand on her shoulder,

looks at him coyly, and he
declares his undying love?

Puh-lease!

Well, I'm about to play Colopsis,
so give up the TV, puh-lease.

I am Colopsis.

Press play if you dare to challenge me.

(Stammering) Who... who's that?

Colopsis, a giant alien robot barbarian.

He's so tall.

And strong.

And he's got the most
beautiful eye I've ever seen.

(Gasps) Butterflies.

You know, you can tell a lot about
someone by the frozen yogurt they eat.

Well, your bacon-flavored
fro-yo tells me that you...

have terrible taste in frozen yogurt.

Yeah, it's pretty awful.

Uh, one second. I'll be right back.

Really, Mom?

Hey, KC.

I didn't know you were gonna be here.

I just stopped by to get some fro-yo.

(Forced laugh) Fro-no you didn't.

You came here to spy on me.

(Rustling)

Really, Dad?

Hey, KC.

You're here spying on me, too?

No. I would never do that.

I'm here spying on your
mother, spying on you.

So we got a spy spying
on a spy spying on a spy.

It's a spy-fecta.

Hey, Brett.

Hey, Mr. Cooper.

Mrs. Cooper.

You know what?

I'm going to return to my date now.

Get home before somebody waters you.

Parents. Sorry. I don't know
why they're acting so crazy.

At least you get to see your parents.

My dad travels so much, the only time
I get to see him is on the computer.

Until I was nine, I thought he
was just a head and shoulders.

(Cell phone rings)

Speak of the devil. It's my dad.

Hey, Dad. Oh, just hangin' out with KC.

Hi, Mr. Willis. Can't wait to meet you.

He says he can't wait to meet you, too.

Excuse me for a second.

Yeah.

Everything's falling into place.

I'll deliver her to you on Saturday night.

Hey, what's up?

Oh, wow, surprised your
parents aren't in there.

Wait, let me check your backpack.

Nope. We're all clear.

Could it be?

We're finally having a
moment alone together?

- Hey, guys.
- Not now, Marisa.

Wow. May I remind you that if
I did not like your boyfriend,

he would still be my boyfriend
and not your boyfriend.

Not that I don't like
you, but I don't like you.

Like that.

Sorry, Marisa, it's just that
we never get any time alone.

Probably not with your parents.

They're always spying on you because...
that's what parents do.

Over-protective parents.

Talk to you later. Gotta go.

I got a surprise for you.

Beyoncé? Secret show?

Who did you have to k*ll
to get these tickets?

Don't answer that.

Two tickets on Saturday night.

Two. Not three.

If your dad wants to go, tell
him to get his own ticket.

Preferably on a different
night. In a different city.

Maybe he should see Rhianna.

Uh, wait a minute.

These tickets say the
show starts at midnight.

That's not only past my curfew,
that's past my bedtime.

But it's Beyoncé. In New York.

In Brooklyn. That's an outer borough.

I'm not even sure that's safe for a spy.

Come on. You'll totally be safe.

Junior spy of the year, babe.

Brett, I like you, I really do,

but you've sung that song more than
Beyoncé has sung "Single Ladies."

This is, like four hours away.

I'm not gonna get home
till the next morning.

There's no way that I can go to this.

Unless you tell your parents you're
sleeping at a friend's house.

Great plan, except I
can't lie to my parents.

If they found out, they'd
never trust me again.

Oh, you mean your parents that were
hiding in the plants at the fro-yo place

because they don't
trust you. Those parents.

Hey, don't talk about my parents like that.

They might be listening.

(Colopsis) One wrong move,
and I will destroy you.


Oh, Colopsis, you say the sweetest things.

Judy, you're hogging Colopsis.

When is it my turn?

Get out, Ernie.

Two's company, three's a crowd.

But it's only two of us here.

Did you just dis my man?

No.

Because you don't have a man.

You're not even using his
powers to sh**t the aliens.

That's not what we're about.

We don't use each other.
We build each other up.

We're in love.

Prepare to die!

(Giggles)

Colopsis, please. My brother's in the room.

Not anymore, he's not.

So Marisa, let's just say
someone, it doesn't matter who,

wanted to lie to their parents and
go to an out-of-state concert

Do you think that a good cover
story would be saying that

they're spending the night
at their best friend's house?

Why are you asking? What do you know?

Who told you what?

I mean... what's up, girl?

I'm thinking about going with Brett.

(Gasps)

Brain freeze? Telepathy?

That lady with the bad facelift is here?

- Where she at?
- No.

I think you're acting like
an irresponsible teenager.

I'm finally rubbing off on you.

Do you think you're gonna go?

Why shouldn't I?

I'm years old, I've never done
anything wrong in my entire life,

and my parents still don't trust me.

I'll be home before breakfast.

Nothing bad is gonna happen.

You know what? I am gonna go.

I know. I can't believe
I'm gonna go either.

No, no, facelift lady just walked in.

Do me a favor, and remind
me to just get old.

Hey, guys, I'm headin' over to Marisa's.

We're actually doing some
volunteer work for at-risk youth.

Actually, I'm volunteering,
and Marisa is the youth.

Anyway... I'm gonna be spending the
night, so don't wait up for me.

If you need me, just text me.

Or Marisa.

Because that's who I'll be with... Marisa.

Marisa.

I think we should follow her.

To Marisa's? Oh, no thanks.

I get enough of that child.

Have you noticed that she's
eaten breakfast at our table

the last hundred days in a row?

I'm gonna start claimin'
that girl on my taxes.

I'm talkin' about KC.

She's up to something.

I bet she's gonna go
off and meet that Brett.

No, no, no.

I think she said something
about goin' to Marisa's.

I know what she said, but...
Come on, mama bird.

We agreed to let her date.

Okay? So now, we have to trust her.

Not even my parents were
this protective of me.

That's because you didn't
start datin' until you were .

By choice.

Yeah. Ladies' choice.

I cannot wait to see Beyoncé.

By the way, if Jay Z and Beyoncé invite
us to an after-party in the Hamptons,

we cannot say yes right away.

I don't wanna seem like
a crazy fan or anything.

GPS voice: One hundred
feet, exit to the left.


You heard her.

One hundred feet till
we get to see Queen Bey.

Uh, I think you just missed the exit.

Exit to the left, to the left.

The exit that you want
is on the ramp to the left.


See?

Yeah, I don't think we need this anymore.

(GPS beeps off)

Considering you just passed
the exit, I think you do.

Little change of plans.
We're going to see my dad.

Your dad better be one of
Beyoncé's backup singers,

'cause I know I'm not
tryin' to miss this concert.

There's something I've
been keeping from you, KC.

The truth is, Zane is my dad.

Zane?

Like Zane Zane?

The guy who threatened to eliminate
my entire family is your dad?

Yeah, right.


I'm serious.

Uh... ironic.

Usually, seatbelts make me feel safer.

All right, this isn't funny, Brett.

It's not meant to be, KC.

My dad will explain everything to you.

That is impossible.

We can't be going to see Zane,
because he is in a foreign prison.

And who told you that?

You did.

See, that's another thing
I've been keeping from you.

- I'm a liar.
- Yeah, I'm starting to pick that up.

No toast for me.

I'm having brunch later with Colopsis.

Plus, robots don't actually eat.

For the th time.

Morning, Coopers.

Where's KC?

I was just gonna ask you the same question.

And I know the answer.

She spent the night at my house last night.

Guess I forgot.

That's what happens when
you have such a big house.

Darn my successful parents
and their enormous colonial.

You live in a modest split-level ranch.

Well, KC must've been on the split
level, and I did not notice her.

Uh-uh. Start talking.

Now.

Okay, she's not at my house.

She's at the library doing a paper

on the economic feasibility
of third-world countries.

Uh-huh. Define feasibility.

Feasibility refers to the ability
of something to be feased.

Fine. She really didn't
stay at my house last night.

Ooh, this just got good.

She went to a concert with Brett.

Ooh, this just got better.

In New York City.

Ooh, this is not good at all.

So how'd you sleep?

Not so good. I had this terrible dream

where my boyfriend turned out to be the son

of my parents' evil nemesis. Oh, wait.

Brought you a breakfast burrito.

- No meat, just how you like it.
- Thanks so much.

But do you mind taking
that back to the kitchen

and asking for a fresh plate of freedom?!

Can I ask you a question?

sh**t.

If I had my laser g*n, I would.

Did you ever really have feelings for me?

Of course I liked you.

Hey, we'll always have our missions
and fro-yo, and dates with your dad.

Come on, KC. You know this isn't personal.

Speaking as a girl who's tied up in a
barn, it feels pretty personal to me.

I'm sorry, but this is
bigger than both of us.

Like it or not, you and I are
on opposite sides of this w*r.

We don't have to be.

You could let me go, and our parents
can fight their own battles.

We could be like Romeo and Juliet.

Or some other better example where the
couple actually lives to be together.

Come on, Brett, I know
you're not like your dad.

And maybe dating me just started
off as part of the mission,

but if you ever really had feelings
for me, you'd let me go. Please.

Careful, son.

You can't trust a word she
says, just like her mother.

Zane.

I've been waiting a long
time to meet you, KC.

I was once very fond of your parents.

But their love and marriage
made me go a little...

What's the word I'm looking for?

Insane.

I was going to say eccentrically
evil, but yours works too.

So what's your plan?

Goin' after me because you're
not man enough to face my dad?

Actually... I'm going to take away
everything your parents love,

starting with you, and ending
with the Organization.

Can I just say, I am so glad
that I never let you kiss me.

Where are you? Where are you?

Oh, don't worry, Judy.

I'm sure KC's fine.

No kidding. She can take care of herself.

I'm looking for my Colopsis.

You can stop looking.

I took it back and traded
it in for a new game.

Nooooo!

Colopsis!

Why?

I'm gettin' the sense
you're not happy about this.

Give me that box of tissues.

But you don't cry.

I know.

What are you so upset about?

Colopsis and I were perfect for each other.

You just traded him like
he was yesterday's game.

He kinda was.

But I loved him.

He put butterflies in my belly.

Hope in my hard drive.

Now I don't have any love in my life.

But Judy, you do have love in your life.

You've got your family.

Well, you're no giant alien
robot one-eyed barbarian,

but I'll take what I can get.

(Bones cracking)

Judy, Judy, can't breathe.

I know.

That'll teach you for messin' with my man.

I see you inherited your father's
lack of upper body strength.

No, my brother got that.

Look, my parents, they're
gonna be looking for me.

When they find me, you're gonna be very
sorry that you ever messed with them.

I don't think so.

In fact, they're not even
gonna know you're gone.

My parents get worried if I
take too long in the shower.

I'm pretty sure they're gonna
notice if I never come home.

But you are going home.

KC, will you come out here, please?

Okay, for a spy, you're not very observant.

I'm right here.

I wasn't talking to you.

KC, meet KC.

It's... it's me.

Wow, she looks exactly like me.

Even down to the fierce yet sensible nails.

Thanks to cutting edge
laser cosmetic surgery,

Bernice here is identical
to you in every way.

Hi. I'm KC. I'm a teenage spy.

My brother's Ernie,
he's baking the biscuits.

Oh, please, she sounds nothing like me.

Oh, please, she sounds nothing like me.

Okay, maybe a little.

Okay, maybe a little.

- Stop that.
- Stop that.

She is good.

Craig, it's been hours.

She hasn't answered our calls or texts.

Maybe we should go to the
police. Or the Organization.

Forget it. I'm just gonna go out
there and look for her myself.

Kira, I'm worried, too, but relax.

No, Craig.

I'm scared.

She's never done anything like this before.

Try and remember, she's .

Teenagers break rules.
They make bad choices.

Not KC.

I am furious.

When she gets home, I swear I am gonna...

Hey, guys.

Give her a big hug!

I don't know who you think you
are, or what is wrong with you,

but you are living in a fantasy world
if you actually think that my family

is gonna believe that that
fake KC is actually me.

Sure, she looks like me, exactly like me.

She looks more like me than I look like me,

but I guarantee that my parents
have already figured it out.

Honey, we were worried sick about you.

Where have you been?

Why didn't you answer our calls?

I am so sorry.

I went to a late concert, and
then, Brett's car broke down,

and then, my phone d*ed.

None of that matters now.

The important thing is that you're safe.

I'm sorry.

It'll never happen again.

You're right, it won't, because you are
grounded for the rest of your life.

Now bring it in, baby.

Rob, your name's on TV.
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