01x12 - Double Crossed Part 3

Episode transcripts for the TV show "K.C. Undercover". Aired: January 2015 to February 2018.*
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A high-school math whiz trains to be an undercover spy.
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01x12 - Double Crossed Part 3

Post by bunniefuu »

I'm so happy you're my boyfriend.

And I'm so happy you're my girlfriend.

I feel like he's up to something.

Everything's falling into place.

I'll deliver her to you on Saturday.

- "I'm coming for you. Zane."
- We're on our own.

There's something I've
been keeping from you, KC.

Zane is my dad.

My parents, they're
gonna be looking for me.

And when they find me,
you're gonna be very sorry

that you ever messed with them.

(Zane) They're not even
gonna know you're gone.

(KC) She looks exactly like me.

Hey, guys.

I can't take this anymore.

It's been almost two weeks since
that creep Zane took me prisoner.

If I didn't have you, I would've
snapped a long time ago.

Madame Whipsey.

You know what? I'm gonna
make you a necklace.

So pretty.

That looks so cute on you.

Rise and shine.

Doppelganger KC sent me
her latest status update.

"The Coopers have welcomed me into their
hearts and home without question."

Blah, blah, blah.

"Zane, you are brilliant."
Blah, blah, blah.

"KC's family will be destroyed."

Anyway, you get the gist.

You won't get away with this, Zane.

You're in no condition to stop me.

Little girl, you're falling apart.

Next thing you know, you'll
be talking to the mice.

For the record, it's one mouse, and
his name is Madame Whipsey... punk!

Surprise!

Mmm. Moist.

Sorry.

Well, it's our own fault for trying
to sneak up on a top-clearance spy.

That's my girl.

The Organization gave me top clearance?

Welcome to the club, babe.

When do I get top-level clearance?

I'm guessing when the qualifications
are sitting on your butt

and mild halitosis.

You earned it, sweetie.

Yeah, you're blossoming into a perfect
spy flower right before my eyes.

Me and Brett are really
rubbin' off on you, right?

And your mother, too.

Congrats on your new clearance... KC.

And now that I have it, we will
bring the Organization to its knees

and completely destroy the Cooper family.

- Who wants cake?
- Yummy. Me.

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep things hustle cool ♪

♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪

♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect ♪

♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪

♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪

♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

I keep it undercover.

I keep it undercover.

Hi, KC with the pretty face-y.

Hey, Marisa with the...

yeah, nothing rhymes with Marisa.

I need a favor.

Yes, you can copy off my English homework.

No, not that... but okay.

I just got invited to
Kurt Fabrizio's party.

Okay, invited is a strong word,

but the important thing is he's having
a party and I know where it is.

I need you to come with me.

- Okay.
- Oh, come on.

I've liked him since he was nine
and he was Kurt the Squirt.

Now he's cute and covered in freckles.

I just wanna spend the rest of
my life connecting those dots.

I need to go, and I have
to have you come with me.

- Sounds good.
- I am begging you.

- I'm in.
- KC, please.

I just bought this cute outfit...

Wait. Did you just say you'd go?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I?

Just... you never wanna go to parties,

and I always have to trick you into going.

Oh, right.

Just... I figured,

since I'm gonna end up going anyway,

I might as well say yes the first time.

- That makes sense, right?
- Right.

Okay. Well, uh...

See ya later. Gotta get to class.

Marisa... my sistah.

Doesn't really rhyme, but, uh...

you get the idea.

Oh, no.

First my laptop got a virus,
now my tablet's infected, too?

They're on the same network.

Corrupt one, corrupt them all.

All I did was click a link in Mateo's email

saying that he had all his
travelers' checks stolen

while on business overseas.

Which, in retrospect, was odd, since
I just saw him in fourth period.

Everyone knows that's how
you get a vi-vi-vi-virus.

What's wrong?

The virus. You
ga-ga-ga-gave it to me.

Impossible.

If you had the virus, you'd freeze up.

Then you'd shut down.

There's no way I gave you that virus.

Judy?

Uh-oh.

Oh! Madame Whipsey.

I missed you so much.

You know, if you weren't a
mouse, I'd just kiss you.

Oh, what the heck. (Kissing noises)

Okay, mouse, I'm gonna need my ring back.

It has a voice-activated recording device.

Thank you.

(Zane) The Organization's
most classified documents


can only be accessed by agents
with maximum level clearance.


(Brett) I've had that for months.

Why'd the fake KC need it too?

(Zane) There's a safeguard in
place which requires two agents


to access the files simultaneously.

So that's the plan.

Nice work, Madame Whipsey. Up top.

Yes, excellent work, Madame Whipsey.

Sorry, KC, that information
will do you no good,

'cause you're never leaving here.

And neither is Madame Whipsey.

So you wanna bring down the Organization.

This plan wasn't just about
getting revenge on my parents.

Please. I am totally
over Kira choosing Craig.

Just out of curiosity, your dad's
got a big gut now, doesn't he?

Doesn't he?

Oh, yeah. You're totally over it.

(Knocking on door)

- Who is it?
- It's Marisa.

Uh, one sec.

Coming.

Is KC here?

- No, she's out with Brett.
- Okay, good.

Listen, I am glad we're alone.

There's something very important
I need to discuss with you.

I knew it was only a matter of time.

I know dating your best friend's brother
can be a little awkward at first,

but everyone will get used to it... baby.

Ew! No.

And just to be clear, ew!

It's about KC.

Have you noticed her acting odd lately,

because this afternoon,
she agreed to go with me...

- ...to a party.
- Oh, is it Kurt Fabrizio's?

I heard about it, but no one
would tell me where it was.

I'm going to assume
you'll pick me up at : .

And I'm going to assume you'll
be waiting a very long time.

Hey. Marisa.

KC. I've been waiting for you to get home.

And now that you're home,
I can leave. Good-bye.

That blonde's on to me.

Marisa? No way.

She's about as smart as that couch.

Well, if there's any risk
of Marisa compromising us,

I'm gonna need to eliminate her.

I might just do it for fun.

KC'll be right down.
She says she's changing.

Into what? She's worn the same jeans
every day for the past two years.

Well, speaking as a person who does
all the laundry, doesn't bother me.

Mrs. C., have you noticed KC's
been acting different lately?

Not really.

The other day, she actually
agreed to go to a party with me.

A party?! Not my baby.

Not my baby!

Why does nobody in this family understand
the gravity of this situation?

- KC has changed.
- Yes, because she has a boyfriend now.

But don't worry. She's
still your best friend.

Hey, Marisa, I'm ready.

- I'll be back in an hour, Mom.
- Okay, honey. Have fun.

Hey, so I got those tickets for
the Pharrell concert tomorrow night.

Oh, right, Pharrell.

I'm sorry, I can't go.

Something last minute popped up.

Let me guess. Plans with your boyfriend?

Uh, Brett? No.

Then I bet it's a mission.

(Nervous laughter)

- What?
- A mission.

Oh, if you're spying on
someone cute, can I come along?

You know that I'm a spy?

Of course.

But you wouldn't know that, because
only the real KC knows that.

You're not the real KC.

I should've done that a week ago.

Chatty Kathy.

Thanks, Ernie. I feel like myself again.

(Loud sneeze)

(Blows nose loudly)

Ew! Judy, what is that?

A synthetic fluid designed
to keep my system lubricated.

Is it supposed to be blue,
and coming out of your nose?

Ugh. I am feeling kind of funky.

Maybe you should call tech support.

How insulting. I'm the computer guy.

There's nothing wrong
with you that I can't fix.

Okay, what's the number for tech support?

I know how lonely you've been,
so I brought you a friend.

I've been sleeping here on a dirt
floor for the past two weeks,

so if you're gonna bring me someone,

I'd vote for a chiropractor.
(Snaps fingers)

- Hey!
- Marisa.

KC?

KC?

Your friend... is very annoying.

You have my sympathies, KC.

You have my hatred, Bernice.

Bernice? Really?

You two are perfect for each other.

By the way, I don't like you either.

Let's go, Bernice.

It's time for you to meet
Brett at the Organization.

The end game is about to begin.

KC, are you okay?

I'm fine, but how did you get here?

Figured out the fake KC wasn't you.

She was acting weird, and I got an
A-minus on the homework she let me copy.

An A-minus?

She's ruining my GPA?!

Really? You're putting on makeup right now?

Hey, some people eat when they're stressed.

Others primp.

Um, Marisa, did you grab
that lipstick from my room?

Yeah. Don't be mad.

I am not mad; I am thrilled.

Give it to me.

If we hurry up, I can get to the
Organization before that fake me does.

By the way, did you happen
to grab my deodorant?

Oh, no. Is that a w*apon, too?

No. It's just that I've been stuck in
a barn for the past couple of weeks.

My pits are a little ripe.

What happened in here?

Oh, that fuzzy thing?

That's my science project.

Don't touch it without gloves.

I meant, what happened
to the leftover meatballs?

Craig, you know we have that
mission coming up in Spain.

Do you want to fit into
your matador costume or not?

Ahem! My matador costume fits great.

At least, you thought so yesterday.

I believe your exact words were, "Olé!"

And now, my exact words
are, who ate the meatballs?

If only there was a robot living here

who could show you a
video of what happened.

Oh, wait, there is.

She probably didn't know
that when I'm powered down,

my recorder still functions.

This is disturbing.

Seeing your vegetarian daughter eat meat?

That, and what other secret
recorders does she have?

Olé.

Wait a second.

Marisa said KC was acting strange.

Now I'm thinkin' she's right.

- Where's KC?
- She went to meet Brett.

They were going to... the Organization.

We need to get down there right now.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to get that
fuzzy thing out of my fridge.


- Hey, man, what's up?
- Hey. How's it goin', Brett?

Dude, is that enemy agent
sent here to knock you out?

Where?

Right behind you.

- Brett.
- Finally.

Bernice, you were supposed
to be here five minutes ago.

Oh, yeah, no, I know that.

It's just that, um...

I'm late.

All right, well, get into position.

We both need to log in so
we can access this mainframe.

Hurry.

Hey, dude, is that an enemy agent
sent here to knock you out?

Where?

You're not the real fake KC.

No, I'm the fake fake KC.

The one who's really gonna kick your butt.

I don't think so.

Three missions with you,
and it's always the same.

Block, catch, backhand,
block, catch, backhand.

I can see you comin' a mile away.

Did you see this coming?

Did you see that coming?

And just to be clear,
I'm breakin' up with you.

And for the record, it is you, not me.

Oh, dang, it's me.

(Knocking on door)

Organization tech support.

Hi there.

Thanks, but I'm feeling fine.

Yeah, we don't need you anymore.

Chip. Hey, you work in tech support, and
your name's Chip, like computer chip.

(Laughs) Ah, that's funny.

It's not that funny.

Actually, Chip is the name of the guy

who's unconscious in
a parking lot dumpster.

My name is Zane.

(Both) Zane?!

Okay, still don't need tech support,
but I may need new underwear.

May I just say, you are stunning.

You think I look good now?

You should've seen me before
they did this to my face.

Well, don't worry, because I'm
about to mess up your face.

I mean, my face.

I mean, you know what I mean.

Hold it right there.

(Both) Mom.

She's my mom. No, she's my mom.

Don't listen to her. I'm your daughter.

No, I am.

She is a fake-y fake face.

No, I'm not.

I wouldn't even talk like that.

Yes, I would. I just did.

Craig, I can't tell which one's KC.

I got this.

What did you get me for
Father's Day in ?

(Both) A purple tie.

What was the name of your favorite
imaginary friend when you were three?

(Both) Jakey Rosenbloom.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Three.

Yeah, I got nothin'.

KC, on your very first day of kindergarten,

you ran crying from the classroom. Why?

Ooh, I know.

Um, I went crying from the classroom
because I peed in my pants. Ha!

See, only the real KC
would know that. It's me.

What are you guys doing?
I just told you the answer.

- It's me.
- Exactly.

But the real KC was so
embarrassed by what happened,

she vowed never to utter one single
word about that incident ever again.

I would only refer to it
as my number-one mistake.

I can't believe you brought it up, Mom.

Now that's my KC.

Where have you been, honey?

I've been held prisoner in a barn by Zane.

- So he's not in a foreign prison?
- No. Brett lied to us.

Brett would never lie
to us. He's a good guy.

Oh, is he?

Brett is Zane's son.

Zane's son?

Oh, I'ma need a minute.

Guys, we need to find him.

Don't bother. I'm right here.

I think you should come home, old friend.

It's time for a little reunion.

No, Dad, do not touch that.

Zane may have booby-trapped it.

Would he really do that?

(Zane) Why don't you touch it and find out?

Open up, Zane. Let my kids go.

Sorry, Craig. No can do.

Ernie, are you okay, honey?

Typical Wednesday.

Came home, made myself a nice chocolate
milk, got tied up by an evil spy.

No, I'm not all right!

Where's Judy?

She's in the kitchen.

And the dining room.

And the living room.

Little Judy insisted on
protecting her big brother.

I know it's out of character, but he
got me through a tough couple of days.

Sacrifice yourself, Craig.

The rest of your family will go unharmed.

Keep him talking, Kira.

Okay, I'm just gonna assume that
Dad is trying to sneak in the house.

Because otherwise, I am
very disappointed in him.

Zane, it's Kira.

It's time to stop the madness.

No. Too much has happened, Kira.

Too many hard feelings.

Oh, come on.

You're a lot of things, and most of them
are bad, but you're still a father.

I'm running out of patience, Craig.

Can you imagine your son
growing up without you?

I can't imagine my kids
growing up without their father.

Zane, do the right thing.

Don't talk to me about the right thing!

If you had done the right thing
years ago, I would be your husband.

This would be our home.

Hey, buddy, long time no see.

Nobody messes with my family.

Dad, you did it! It's finally over.

Yeah. Ha ha, thanks for the hand, Judy.

Any time.

Man, it's a shame Brett's not
here to celebrate with us.

Yeah, about that. Ernie, we need to talk.

I am so happy to have the real KC back.

Thanks to you.

I mean, if you didn't know me better
than anyone in the whole wide world,

I would still be Zane's prisoner.

I don't know how to thank you, Marisa.

You don't have to thank me.

Although, there is a
big party this weekend,

and I am thinking we can go
shopping, get some cute outfits.

- No, thank you.
- But it could be...

- Not gonna happen.
- But you said...

- Doesn't matter.
- But you said...

No.

I wonder if Zane would consider renting
out that other KC for parties,

or dances or basically anything fun.

Rob, your name's on TV.
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