Hi, Marissa. Hi, KC.
Oh, hey, River. Nice costume.
I'm not wearing one.
These are just clothes.
Cool. Yeah.
No, that's what I'm wearing, too.
So what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
'Cause we are going to the
best Halloween party ever.
We are?
Uh, yeah, we are, 'cause we
like to party hearty, you know.
It's like that. We likes to pah-ty.
I didn't mean "potty." I meant party.
We like to party.
(Whispers) I hate myself.
You guys should totally come.
We're in. Text me.
You got it.
Rooty tooty, abso-looty.
Why?
Marissa, you never told me
we were going to a party.
- I didn't tell you?
- No. Where is it?
It is conveniently located
right in our neighborhood.
- It's at my house, isn't it?
- Yes. Yes, it is.
Marissa, how could you have a
party at my house and not tell me.
You just said rooty tooty abso-looty.
You're lucky you're even invited.
♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep things hustle cool ♪
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪
♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪
♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪
♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
♪ But I always got your back ♪
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
I keep it undercover.
I keep it undercover.
Morning, Agent Cooper.
Hey, Agent Johnson. You working undercover?
From the Wild West?
No, it's Halloween.
I'm a Village Person.
Lighten up, Craig.
Agents, the other side
is working on a serum
containing wolf DNA that they'll use
to create genetically
modified super soldiers.
Who's ever heard of such a thing?
I have. It makes them part wolf.
They're stronger, faster, and they
sniff your butt to say hello.
I don't know why that last thing's a thing.
No one does.
Anyway, we need to get that serum.
There's a hand-off of the prototype
at Central Park tonight.
We've detained the agents that
were going to receive the sample.
I need two agents to take their place.
Well, Kira and I were going to a costume
party tonight, but when duty calls.
Oh, it's calling,
- but it's calling for Ernie and Judy.
- What?
The mission profile will
be sent to your devices.
Happy Halloween. Yee-haw!!
I can't believe I'm going to New York.
You shouldn't, 'cause you're not.
Why?
Why can't I go?
'Cause you're not ready.
You're inexperienced and too immature.
I am not too immature.
I'm not too immature.
Hey, Dad, if you need me, I'll be upstairs.
By the way, I'm having
a little party tonight.
Just friends from school,
no biggie, super cash.
KC, freeze.
Get your butt back down here.
Is there a problem, Daddy?
No, there's no problem, pumpkin.
- There's also no party.
- Oh, who's having a party?
- I am.
- Oh, good for you. Who's coming?
Whoa, nobody's coming, 'cause
she's not having a party.
Just some friends from school, okay,
and maybe a cute guy that I like.
Oh, correction.
Not only are you not having a party,
you're not leaving the house... ever.
Why not?
Your mother and I are going out tonight.
You're not responsible enough
to have a party while we're out.
But I'm responsible enough
to recover the crown jewels
of Barcelona last weekend.
She makes a good point.
Whose side are you on?
Dad, I need a normal life, okay?
If you let me have this party tonight,
I promise I will b*at the snot
out of some bad guys tomorrow.
You can have a party, when you're
married and have your own teenagers,
who I guarantee you won't let have parties.
Have you ever heard of any
guy coming to the house for KC?
Between her and Ernie, the only
wedding we'll get to throw
is when Judy marries the toaster.
The way things are going, I'm
never gonna have grandkids.
At best, I am going to have toast.
Bottom line is, KC is a
totally responsible teenager.
There's no such thing.
Craig, I am going as Cleopatra tonight.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Either you can go as Mark
Antony, or man in dog house.
Party's over by : .
- : .
- :
- : .
- : .
Okay, : it is.
So KC can grow up, but not Ernie?
You realize, with this trajectory,
I'll be living under your roof
for the rest of my life.
Don't just stand there, boy.
Let's get ready for
your mission to New York.
What does the mission report
say our contact is wearing?
Let me check.
"Hee-hee" will be
wearing an Elvis costume.
"Yoo-hoo" should b*at it.
Sorry. Gotta act professional.
Ooh, is that candy corn?
Hey, that's my candy corn.
Then what's it doing in my hand?
Yeah, you want candy,
next time, moonwalk faster.
Oh, you wanna be startin' something?
Come on.
I don't know who you are, but
you got a big, sassy mouth.
I like that.
Right back atcha.
If this sass fest is over,
I'm taking my candy corn.
Jessie said I should eat more vegetables.
Candy corn is not actually a vegetable.
I'm pretty sure it is.
Judy, I just saw Elvis go
into that haunted house.
Let's do this.
It'll be easy
as A-B-C, - - .
Sure, it's funny when you
do the Michael Jackson jokes.
Yeah. When you do it, it's just... bad.
What are you doing? People
are gonna be here soon.
Why are you doing your homework?
I was just doing a little math.
Actually trying to
calculate the probability
of me making a fool out of
myself in front of River.
Turns out, ahem, %.
Yeah, I'm not going to the party.
Um, you're kind of already at the
party, because it's your party.
Marissa, River is coming
over, and I'm a nervous wreck.
I do not get it, KC.
How is it that someone
who can scale Mt. Rushmore
to retrieve papers out of Lincoln's nose
can't go downstairs in her own house
and just talk to a guy?
Okay, first of all, the papers
were in Roosevelt's ear.
And secondly, when I am doing my spy
work, I'm in disguise, okay. I'm not me.
I'm fearless. I'm invincible.
I'm like Jennifer Lawrence
in The Hunger Games.
But when I'm just me, I'm
more like Jennifer Lawrence
falling face first at the Oscars.
Oh, darn, if only Halloween was an
occasion where you put on a costume
and pretend to be someone else.
Oh, wait, it is.
The code word is... hula dancer.
Okay. That is the code word.
But I'm seriously supposed to
hand over this serum to kids?
Oh, we're not kids.
We're disguised as kids.
I'm actually , and my youngest
is about to have a baby.
And if you don't mind, I'd like to be
there when I become a grandmother.
So hand over the serum, junior.
Yeah. What Grandma said.
Looking good, y'all.
Trina, I'm lovin' the outfit. Meow.
Bullfighter? Olé, José.
Hey, KC.
River.
Wow, you look great.
Oh, thank you, thank you. This old thing.
You look smokin' hot.
Don't go settin' off the fire alarm.
What are you supposed to be?
- I'm a spy.
- Oh, nice.
But to be honest, I don't think
that's a very spy-like costume.
Yeah, trust me. It is.
Aren't spies supposed to go undetected?
Like, who could miss you in that?
Actually, a band of art smugglers,
North Koreans, and one time...
I have a very elaborate
back story for my costume.
Oh, is that a spy bracelet?
No!
No. Not at all.
What, this? This thing is...
It's a cute-ometer.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
KC, you should wear this
costume all of the time.
You are so fun and confident.
What can I say, Marissa?
Pleather brings out the best in me.
Ernie, you better be careful.
If any of that wolf
serum spills on you...
Dad, what are you doing here?
I thought it was just me
and Judy on this mission.
Relax. I got this.
- (Glass shatters)
- Hey! Watch where you're going.
You again?
Look, if you want my digits,
all you have to do is ask.
Dude, I have zero percent
interest in your digits.
Ooh, looks like your moves
have been declined.
Oh, I get it.
Playin' hard to...
(Howls like wolf)
Is that some kind of weird Michael
Jackson Thriller werewolf thing?
No. You just bring out
the animal in me... baby.
Yeah, well, put it back... baby.
(Howling)
You always say boys can be dogs.
You weren't kidding.
Ernie, please tell me
those vials didn't break.
Of course they didn't break.
I just have a sweaty belly button?
Wow, I'm really starting to
see another side of you, KC.
You're thinking about school KC.
I have many sides. I'm like an octagon.
An octagon is an eight-sided polygon.
School KC creepin' back in.
(Both laughing)
Would you like to see a
movie with me next weekend?
No!
- Grab a bite to eat?
- No!
- Should I just leave?
- No.
Look, I'm really not that good with girls,
and I have to say, you are
confusing the heck out of me.
I'm sorry.
Could you hold on a sec?
Sure. Why not?
What happened to cool, confident KC?
(Hysterical gibberish)
Whoa. Is the pleather cutting
off circulation to your head?
Did you have some of that guacamole,
'cause I did not know you were
supposed to refrigerate it.
No, I lost my spy bracelet.
I had it when I came down the stairs,
but now I don't know where it is.
I'm sure they'll just give you another one.
Marissa, that bracelet cost
hundreds of thousands of dollars.
If my dad finds out, he's gonna
say that I'm irresponsible.
Well, frankly, if you lost an
expensive bracelet like that,
he kinda has a point.
Says the girl who forgot to
refrigerate the guacamole.
Marissa, you don't get it.
If someone gets a hold of that
bracelet and presses the wrong button,
they could blow up this
entire neighborhood.
Wait. I live in this neighborhood.
All right, so this is
security footage from my house.
I know I was wearing my spy
bracelet when the party started.
KC?
Hi, KC. What are you doing up here?
Hey, River. I really
wanna hang out with you...
Which is why you stopped talking to
me and went upstairs to play pinball?
No, no, no.
No, I was, um... I was
comforting Marissa.
You see, um, the guy she
likes, allergic to bees.
So how about you go back downstairs,
don't talk to any other girls,
enjoy the chips, not the guacamole,
and I will see you in a second.
All right, so that's me coming down the
stairs, and there is my spy bracelet.
Oh, and there I am.
I look so cute in my bumblebee costume.
Ain't nobody allergic to this.
All right, there's me handing
out candy to trick-or-treaters.
Wait a minute. The bracelet's gone.
Go back to when you were
handing out candy to Petey.
Well, now we know what
happened to my bracelet.
Oh, no. You think Petey ate it?
Hey, bro, how did New York go?
Uh, everything went great.
Really great. Totally
great. How was your party?
Fantastic. Best yet. Having tons of fun.
Ernie, are you sure you're okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I just have this itch on my
back I can't seem to reach.
Could you get it for me?
This is bad.
That wolf DNA has clearly
gotten into your system.
You have to tell Agent Craig.
And have him tell me I'm too
immature to handle things on my own?
- I'm fine.
- (Doorbell rings)
Someone's at the door!
Someone's at the door!
Someone's at the door!
All right.
I may need some help.
Petey!
Petey!!
We're out of candy.
Go away, kid.
It's KC.
In that case, definitely go away.
I need to talk to you.
All right, where's your candy?
It's hidden somewhere.
No one will ever find it.
If I play it right, that stash
will last me through Easter.
Yeah, well, I got news for you, Petey.
You don't tell me where your candy is,
you ain't gonna last through Easter.
Did you want a bite, bro?
We don't give him people food.
Come on, boy.
Marissa, I don't know what happened
to KC, but she's clearly not into me.
I'm gonna bail.
No, no, no. You have to stay.
She just ran out to get
some more potato chips.
Oh, look, she's back
with potato chips, right?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
No, they're just spicy chips.
Got a lot of kick to 'em.
I'll be right back.
Okay, for the last time, Petey,
I do not want your candy, okay?
I just wanna know where your candy is.
That's what Ma says every year.
Then it mysteriously disappears, and
she complains her jeans don't fit.
I'll never give up my hiding place.
Fair enough.
I guess I have to put a
little more bait on the hook.
- Is that a...
- Worm?
Why, yes, it is.
And not of the gummy variety.
But I hate worms.
Oh, really?
I had no idea.
Unfortunately for you, he
brought a little friend.
(Terrified shriek)
Where's the candy, Petey?
Where's the candy, Petey?!
(Shrieking continues)
KC, you better get down here quick.
Ernie is acting strangely.
He is barking and scratching his ears,
and I think he may have
just peed on the rug.
Don't go anywhere, okay? This is not over.
I thought you said they weren't gummy.
Oh, they aren't.
But they are a bit chewy.
Mom!!
(Loud chewing)
Ernie, slow down.
Have something to drink.
You're right.
Let me guess.
New York didn't go as
well as you thought it did.
He spilled the wolf serum on himself.
Bro, I gotta tell Dad.
If you do, I'll let him know
you're torturing Petey upstairs
because you lost your bracelet.
Wait, how do you know that?
Good nose. Even better ears.
Okay, fine. I don't tell, you don't tell.
But if you start chewing on Dad's
shoes, he's gonna figure it out.
For the last time, where
is the candy, Petey?
I'll never tell.
Then you leave me no choice.
"Desdemona and Heathcliff
gazed into each other's eyes.
He pulled her closer, lips
quivering in anticipation."
Please stop with the lovey-dovey stuff.
It's making my ears dry.
Well, tell me where the candy is, or
Heathcliff is gonna run his fingers
through Desdemona's flaxen locks.
Okay, okay.
It's in your backyard in the barbecue.
Why would you hide the
candy in my barbecue?
Because we don't have one.
And I like my peanut butter cups
with a slight taste of mesquite.
You're a weird kid.
Yeah, well, you're the one who tied
me up in a sack to find my candy.
Listen, no one can know about that.
If you tell anybody, I swear, you will be
napping with those worms,
do you understand me, Petey?
KC?
Hey, River.
Um, this is Petey, our
neighbor, and we were just...
You are not the person I thought you were.
You're mean and horrible.
Dang.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
I just wanted his candy,
but he wouldn't tell me
where it was, so I had to tie him up,
put him in a sack and...
okay, I'll see you at school.
(Chattering)
Wow! The house is
cleaner than when we left.
What did you guys expect?
I told you, I'm responsible.
And my mission went according to plan.
The vials are safe and sound.
You sure about that, Ernie?
Yeah. Why?
Something wrong, Ernie?
No.
Are you sure nothing's
bothering you, honey?
You wanna go fetch that?
Fetch!
Good boy.
You guys saw the security
footage, didn't you?
Yes. You're both getting a
lecture on responsibility.
That's right, but first, we
gotta take Ernie to get fixed.
Excuse me?!
She meant take you to the
Organization to get you the antidote.
- Come on, let's get in the car.
- Ooh, the car!
Go for a ride! Go for a ride!
Come on, come on, let's go!
Rob, your name's on TV.