Previously...
I didn't get to properly
introduce myself before.
I'm KC Cooper, and I'm your cousin.
I'm actually looking at my mother's face.
- Abby, she's alive.
- What?
She's alive, and I know where she is.
Hello, Abby.
I'd know my baby anywhere.
Actually... I'm KC.
That's Abby.
Hello.
We did good, Mom. You did good.
So what are you really doing here?
- Carrying out my mission.
- Which is?
Win KC's trust so she can
convince Kira to bring me to you.
All right, everyone, Cooper family meeting.
We need to discuss our little problem.
If you ask me, our problem is all
these Cooper family meetings.
Look, it's not the meetings
that's a problem for me.
It's the lack of snacks.
Would it really k*ll somebody
to put out a crudité?
I'm talking about how you
two told Abby we're spies.
Honey, we had no choice.
Sweetheart, we are secret agents,
not blab-it-to-anyone-
who'll-listen agents.
There's only one thing we can do.
All right, I'll eliminate Abby.
I meant memory spray.
I guess that's another way to go.
Softies.
Dad, no.
The whole point of sneaking Abby to
Anguilla was for her to meet her mother.
If we're looking to get rid of memories,
I vote for the time that
Ernie got out of the pool
but his bathing suit didn't.
I know I'm still trying to forget about it.
Craig, look, it's fine.
I mean, no one else
knows that Erica's alive.
She's still hiding out in Anguilla.
I don't know if we can trust that.
- But she's family.
- But she's so pretty.
Family. I meant family.
Craig, the Organization check and
everything Abby told us was true.
No. We can't take the chance.
I've made a decision.
We're memory spraying her.
(Knocking on door)
Hi! I brought cookies.
Because I wasn't sure what a thank you for
reuniting me with my
supposed-to-be-dead mom gift is.
Plus, I had cookie mix.
We're happy we could help.
Right, Dad?
Meeting my mom was the
greatest moment of my life.
- One I'll never forget.
- Hear that, Dad?
She'll never forget.
And I owe it all to my new family.
Family.
Abby, look at me.
I'm sorry, but...
You're not gonna say anything about
what we do for a living, are you?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Softies.
See, you guys, look.
No one will ever know.
Come on, give me those cookies.
All right, we need some plates, glasses.
So Erica King is alive and in Anguilla.
Send in a field team.
It's time we finally
brought that evil woman in.
♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep things hustle cool ♪
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪
♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪
♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪
♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
♪ But I always got your back ♪
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
I keep it undercover.
I keep it undercover.
Hey. What are you guys doing out here?
We need to talk.
Is this an intervention
about my hands-free purse
We have been through this times.
It is not a hands-free purse.
It is a fanny pack. Say it with me.
Both: If your purse has
Velcro, it is not in style.
Thank you.
But that's not what this is about.
We heard you have a date with Darien.
Yeah, you heard that from
me, because I told you.
And it's your fourth date.
Yeah, so?
KC, KC, KC.
Everybody knows what the fourth date means.
That we liked the first three so
much, we decided to do it again?
KC, let me ask you something.
You like Darien, right?
Yes, I do.
I really, really do.
Great. So let's say,
at the end of the date,
he leans in close, stares
longingly into your eyes
with his lips so close, you could
feel his warm breath against your face.
What do you do?
Hope he didn't eat garlic?
Wrong. You kiss him.
Unless you're not ready.
Or he ate garlic.
And even if he did, you power through.
I think what Marisa is trying to say
- is things seem to be progressing...
- So you should kiss him.
- Only if you want to.
- If you're not ready...
You should let him kiss
you right on the lips.
Go for it! Kiss, kiss!
Get a hold of yourself, okay?
I'll do what I want when I want,
and not until I am ready.
Right. I'm sorry.
So you think you're gonna kiss him?
Hey, Ernie, you remember Colin Cleveland?
Your friend, the politician's son?
The one who thinks I'm the greatest thing
since anti-microbial shower shoes?
I don't know why you insist on bring
up your funky, funky feet, but yes.
Yes. He and his dad are on their way over.
You think you can entertain him
while his dad and I catch up?
I can spare some time... for a fan.
Hold up.
Just to be clear, this boy admires you?
This is an actual, real-life kid and
not a figment of your imagination?
No! Not this time.
(Knocking on door)
Ah!
Both: Kappa Kappa Delta forever!
Remember that time we almost
joined that fraternity?
Oh, Jackson, it's good to see you, man.
Ernie, Judy! Hey.
Whoa!
Did you hit a growth spurt?
You're like a giant.
A giant what? Pain in the butt?
Nope. Same height.
Just wearing some new orthotics.
And you wear them well!
Come on upstairs and I'll show you how
to power a light bulb with a potato.
So how are you doing, Mr. Vice President?
Please. I haven't won yet.
The election isn't for another week.
And even if we are ahead by an
impossible-to-b*at points, don't jinx it.
Who am I kidding? I'm gonna be the
vice-president of the United States!
Seriously, I have a
favor to ask of you, Coop.
I'm hoping you'll head up my security team.
I could use someone I really trust.
Wow, Jackson, I'm flattered.
My commitment is to the Organization.
I'm not asking for anything long-term.
Just get me through the election.
Can I think about it?
Why not?
Would I get a pair of those
cool Secret Service sunglasses?
- Why not?
- Can I fly Air Force One?
Don't push it, Craig.
I don't mean to brag, but with this puppy,
I can talk to people as
far away as Indonesia.
So can I. Ever heard of a cell phone?
This is cooler.
And you don't have to worry
about going over your data plan.
Plus, I built it myself, with
a few capacitors, a diode,
and about ten feet of electrical wire.
Whoa! I am freaking out.
You wanna see some electrical wires?
No one needs your help, Judy.
I had a great time, even if
you did b*at me at Skee Ball.
b*at you? Excuse me, I pummeled you.
I guess you just can't
handle... how I roll.
Hey, in my defense, I was
distracted by a beautiful girl.
(Nervous chuckle)
Thank you.
Good night.
All right. See you tomorrow.
Well, I kissed him.
Yay!
Where did it happen?
At the movies, at the
restaurant? On the porch?
- On his eyeball.
- What?
I kissed him on his eyeball.
Ay yi eyeball.
Marisa, I am such an idiot.
What if he doesn't like me anymore?
KC, would you just relax?
Darien likes you. He isn't going anywhere.
(Car tires screeching, crashing sound)
Quick, call an ambulance.
A car just came out of
nowhere and hit Darien.
I don't know if you can hear me, but
I really need you to get better.
I really, really like you.
I mean, my life can be
kind of stressful sometimes.
More like all the time.
But when I'm with you, I forget
about all of that, you know?
You just let me be me.
You know, just regular, boring KC.
I have no idea why you like me so much,
but I'm really glad that you do.
Yes, I really, really want
you to be my boyfriend.
Oh, I kissed you out of a coma!
Actually, you kissed me out of a nap.
Oh.
Okay, um...
So you gonna be all right?
Yeah. I just have a broken
arm and a slight concussion.
They're gonna keep me another
day or so for observation.
Okay. That's great.
I'd hug you, but you
couldn't really hug me back.
'Cause the arm, so... high five!
So?
What's exactly the plan here?
We gonna pretend like you didn't just
say you wanted me to be your boyfriend?
Okay, did I say that,
or did you dream that?
No, I think you said it.
No, I think you imagined it, because
of the dr*gs they gave you.
You mean the antibiotics?
Yes. Of course.
Antibiotic hallucinations.
It's % medically accurate,
despite what your doctor
will tell you after I leave.
Oh, okay.
You should probably know.
I wanna be your boyfriend.
Really?
Really.
Are you sure that's not
just the antibiotics talking?
I'm really glad you're okay.
Me, too.
All right, Colin, remember the
water we dyed red yesterday?
I wish I d*ed yesterday.
Well, a stalk of celery has
been sitting in it overnight.
Take a look at this. Voila.
A sorcerer. You're a sorcerer!
Actually, it's due to capillary action.
Which is the only action
Ernie will ever see.
Just because you mumble doesn't
mean I can't hear you, Judy.
You actually like this stuff?
- Like it? I love it!
- Yeah!
You don't have cable TV, do you?
You should get it.
All that manpower, and the search
turned up absolutely nothing.
If Erica King isn't in Anguilla,
where the heck is she?
Hey, what's up, Abby?
Thank you so much for stopping
by and checking on Darien,
but good news, he is
gonna be perfectly fine.
Well, this time he is.
What you talking about?
His accident.
It wasn't an accident.
I'm sorry, that doesn't make any sense.
Who would intentionally hurt Darien?
I would.
Oh.
You work for the Other Side, don't you?
Yeah.
Oh, okay, so you've just been
playing me this whole time.
Well, look at that.
You're not just book smart.
You can also point out the obvious.
Huh. I don't know why you
bothered bringing a laser g*n.
When you already stabbed me in the back.
Are you done?
I forgot one more thing.
I defended you to my parents.
I trusted you.
I listened to your kissing advice.
Did you, 'cause I never said anything
about making out with his eyeball.
Get your butt back here.
No one runs my boyfriend over with a car
and makes me spill his overpriced
commissary snacks and gets away with it.
Hello, KC. Hope you
don't mind me dropping in.
Let your Auntie Erica give you a hug.
Erica. So you're back from Anguilla.
She really does state the obvious.
Now unless you wanna end up
in a hospital bed or worse,
you'd better listen to
what your auntie has to say.
Isn't this lovely?
So happy to see you, sis.
Surprised to get your text.
Usually you need a Ouija board
to communicate with the devil.
You look nice, KC.
Oh, thanks, traitor.
All right, Erica, cut to the
chase. What do you want from us?
You and your daughter
are going to carry out
a very special mission for the Other Side.
And if we refuse?
Darien will end up having another accident.
And don't say a word about this,
or we'll move on to
getting rid of your family.
Ooh, I vote we start with her.
Very funny, KC.
But the Organization won't be laughing
when they find out your mother's
been protecting me all these years.
Do I make myself clear?
Crystal.
We'll provide further
instructions when we're ready.
Now, ladies, let's enjoy our tea.
Would anyone like some
clotted cream for their scone?
Oh, I would, thank you.
Oops. Oh, I'm so clumsy.
Don't wanna waste it.
Get ready, Colin, 'cause this
volcano's about to blow.
Here we go. It's going in.
All right. Okay.
Oh, awesome!
Biggest expl*si*n ever.
Guess you never heard Ernie
after a four-cheese pizza.
I'll bet you're wondering how
I'm gonna top this volcano.
Two words: rock collection.
What a dork.
What?! I thought you looked up to him.
I did, when I was five, and
my best friend was a blanket.
Then why have you been
kissing his butt all week?
My dad said I had to be on my best behavior
but how much longer can I
pretend he's interesting?
He's a total doofus, and
he doesn't even know it.
Rock collection.
Hey, nobody thinks Ernie's
a bigger doofus than I do,
but at least he's smart
and funny and he's honest.
He doesn't pretend to
be something he's not,
which makes him way
cooler than you'll ever be.
Why did they have to drag Darien into this?
All he did was like me.
I finally have a boyfriend, and now
Erica and Abby want to hurt him.
I'm so sorry, honey.
But you remember when
you decided to be a spy
and I said it wasn't gonna be easy?
Decided?
No, I distinctly remember
you fake kidnapping me
and then begging me to be
part of the family business.
True, but I distinctly remember
saying it wasn't gonna be easy.
(Sighs) Mom, I really,
really like Darien.
What am I supposed to do,
just no like anyone ever?
No, baby.
But any time you get
involved with a civilian,
they're always gonna be vulnerable.
So I should only date spies.
Well, I was lucky enough
to fall in love with one.
But I mean, it's not like
I never dated a civilian.
I remember this one guy, Olympic
athlete Andre Vervavitch.
Things were going great
until he fell head over heels.
Wait, isn't that a good thing
when you're dating someone?
No, I mean the Other Side
pushed Andre off a building
and he fell head over heels.
Over head, over heels.
This is just not fair.
I know.
But that's the way it is.
So what do we do now?
Well, we have to wait for Erica,
'cause unfortunately,
she's holding all the cards.
Okay, so now we know Erica's back.
We're not gonna make a move.
I think, if we play our cards right,
she might finally lead us to
the head of the Other Side.
Imagine, after all this time, finally
discovering who he really is.
Hey, Ernie, how'd your procedure go?
What procedure?
The one where they removed
Colin's lips from your butt.
He's with his mom.
And you can bag on me all you want,
- but I know you love me.
- Yuck! Why would you say that?
Because I heard all the nice
things you said about me to Colin.
- You're dreaming.
- Am I?
Am I really?
(Tape rewinding)
He doesn't pretend to
be something he's not,
which makes him way
cooler than you'll ever be.
Way cooler than you'll ever be.
Way cooler than you'll ever be.
Fine, I said it!
And?
And I love you.
And I love you.
And I love you.
And I love you.
Well, Jackson, I thought it
over, and if you still want me,
I'd be happy to head up your security team
through the election. In fact, it would
be an honor, Mr. Vice-President.
(Protesting) No jinxies.
Yeah, right.
You are definitely mature enough to be
a heartbeat away from the president.
- Thank you, Craig.
- (Both laughing)
All kidding aside, I'll feel a lot
safer, with you in my corner.
Don't worry, I got your back.
You never know what kind of
crazies there are out there.
So what exactly is the plan
for KC and Kira, mommy dearest?
Stop calling me that.
Fifteen years ago, when your father
became the head of the Other Side,
he and I had a little disagreement.
I wanted her dead.
And silly me, I wanted to stay alive.
So we compromised. She disappeared.
You mean you banished me.
And separated me from my only child.
And she was better off
without the likes of you.
Aw, Mom, Dad.
Just think of all the Christmases
we could've spent together
as one big, unhappy family.
Anyway, he finally sent for me,
because he needed his top programmer.
Programmer? You can't
even use your cell phone.
Not that kind of programmer, smart mouth.
- She gets it from you, you know.
- Take that back.
I'd like to take back the
ten years I wasted with you.
Was it only ten? 'Cause it felt like .
I will crash this car right now.
Do it, do it! I dare you!
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Um... sorry to interrupt this love fest,
but you were saying something
about being a programmer.
A mind control programmer.
My mission was to identify
up-and-coming individuals
who might one day wield power.
Then I brainwash them, so that when
the time came, I'd activate them.
And your mother's grating voice
is one half of the trigger.
You're wearing the other half.
The locket Aunt Kira gave me.
I knew she'd keep it safe.
She was always such a
sentimental sap. Softie.
With this, my voice will control the
mind of Senator Jackson Cleveland,
who's about to become vice-president.
Which puts him one step away
from becoming the president.
When that happens, the Other side
will control the White House.
Hi, KC. Guess what.
I get out tomorrow.
Doctor said in a couple of days, I'll
be ready for that Skee Ball rematch.
Uh, Darien, I'm not into you.
What are you talking about?
I like you, you like me.
Things are going great.
No, they're not.
Not for me.
Oh. I get it.
It's the boyfriend-girlfriend thing.
We can slow it down.
Darien, you're not listening, okay?
I don't like you.
I'm breaking up with you.
No.
No, this makes no sense.
This isn't right.
Something else must be going on.
KC, talk to me.
Take care, Darien.
I know, baby. I know.
But at least now, he'll be safe, okay?
Rob, your name's on TV.