♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their heads so cool ♪
♪ I'll always find a way ♪
♪ A way out of the fire ♪
♪ But don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪
♪ But I ♪
♪ I keep it undercover! ♪
♪ Living my life on red alert ♪
♪ Doing my thing, I'll make it work ♪
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby I'm fearless ♪
♪ But I always got your back ♪
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
♪ Ain't got no worry about me ♪
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
K.C: I keep it undercover.
I keep it undercover.
Your Honor, the Prosecution
calls Agent .
I feel like I should
be walking her up there.
Craig, she's testifying,
not getting married.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Yes, I do.
One time, I was on my porch
when my neighbor Mrs. Goldfeder
got dropped off after a date,
and when they kissed,
I didn't look away, I...
I watched.
I meant when Prosecutor Baker
starts asking you questions.
Oh, I knew that. (Chuckles)
Just had to get that off my chest.
Agent, you were present at The Luffman
Gallery when the theft took place?
Uh, yes. I was investigating
a string of art thefts.
I was accompanied by Agent
, even though I was..
A bit concerned about his abilities.
He can be a bit of a nimrod.
I object!
How dare you call me a nimrod?
That is insulting and the
witness is clearly lying.
I demand a mistrial! A mistrial!
Nobody even knew you were Agent
until you opened your big mouth.
Objection overruled.
Sorry, nimrod.
Please continue.
Well, I went undercover to see if
I could catch the thief in the act.
I am Lola Fingers.
Artiste.
And I'm her manager, Tommy Lasorda.
The artiste's manager, not
the baseball manager.
He's a large white man,
and I'm a short black guy
with a penchant for turtlenecks.
Your work is genius, as is your hair.
Oh, well, my style is
"perpetually caught in a breeze"
to remind me that life is always moving...
as must art.
Oh, yes.
This space is perfect!
It's bare.
It's naked.
I will cover your shame, naked wall...
With art!
She'll need total privacy.
Her most creative hours
are two to five a.m.
You've got it, Lola. But it would be
an honor to come by and see you work.
Why wait?
She can do one right now.
Lola's known for her spontaneous paintings.
(Chuckles) Yes.
I'm also known for f*ring my manager.
Come on, Lola.
Do the one where you roll around and...
Why am I explaining when
she can just show you? Lola?
Oh, no. No, thank you. I'm just
not feeling the muse right now.
Then let me help you feel it.
Waaa... aha...
Oh, yes.
Oh, I'm not done. I'm not done.
Ohhhh, lovely!
Oh, yes! Yes, I'm really
starting to feel it...
everywhere now.
Yes!
Oh, yeah!
Lola, you've done it again.
Don't hold back. Rage is your medium.
I love it.
Yes, Lola. You've done it again.
Eh, I wouldn't say it's your best work.
Oh, really?
Oh, lovely.
Ah!
Look at that!
Another Lola Fingers original.
Allow me to sign it for you.
Agent , would you
describe the moment
when you apprehended the defendant?
Sure. Well, most people think that
spy work is fun and exciting,
and most of the time it is, but...
a lot of the time, it's just
a lot of waiting and watching.
And after a lot of waiting and
watching, and coconut water,
the truth, the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth is...
sometimes you just gotta pee.
OK? I was only gone for, like, two minutes
when I heard the alarm
go off and I ran back in.
(Alarm bell ringing) When I got back,
Descoteaux's "Woman On A Horse At Dawn,"
the most expensive
painting in the gallery,
was cut out of its frame.
And I know it didn't ride itself out,
A) Because it's a painting,
and B) Because it was two lines and a dot
that didn't look a dang thing
like a horse or a woman.
I looked around, and all I saw
was security guard Mr. McCoy.
He was off of his assigned post,
out of breath, and he claimed
that he didn't know what had happened.
Like I was gonna fall for the okey-doke.
And is that security guard here today?
Well, yeah. He's right there.
He's the guy on trial.
Does nobody else see him, or...?
And how do you know someone
else didn't steal the painting?
The building was on lockdown
with very tight security.
None of the entry ways were breached, so...
Mr. McCoy was the only
one who could've done it.
Prosecution rests!
My bad. The prosecution
gives me the stink-eye
and will rest when she sees fit.
Petey. (Nervous chuckle)
What are you doing here?
The Coopers aren't home.
Which begs the question:
What are you doing here?
Nothing.
Really? 'Cause it seems to me that
you're stealing K.C.'s old book reports.
Well, I prefer the term
"borrowing with intent to pass".
What do you care?
I don't care. But K.C. will.
So here's how this is gonna work.
We're going for an All-I-Can-Eat
lunch at the Olive Pit. Your treat.
Are you blackmailing me?
Oh, I am.
But I'll take my payment in
small, unmarked meatballs.
You are a small, unmarked meatball.
(Gavel strikes)
Bob McCoy.
A jury of your peers has found you...
guilty as charged.
(Spectators murmuring)
No! They're wrong. I'm innocent!
Congrats, K.C.! Your th conviction.
I can't wait until mine.
Me neither. Only a hundred to go.
You have to help me. Please,
you have to believe me.
I'm innocent. But a
jury of your peers...
If I did it, where's the
art? They never found the art.
Find the art and you'll find the thief.
Please! I'm being set up!
I wouldn't know a
Rembrandt from my rear end!
You gotta believe me! Help me!
Well, honey. You got your guy.
Did I?
Marisa, I'm freaking out.
Thanks to my testimony,
an innocent man could be
going to prison for years.
I can totally relate.
You can?
Yes. Petey is blackmailing
me to hang out with him.
It was only a couple of days,
but it felt like years.
He made me take him to pizza, and
then the movies, and then the circus.
And, boy, can that kid snack.
Wow! Petey might as well skip the
middleman and pull out his own teeth.
And why exactly is he blackmailing you?
Who cares? You put an
innocent man behind bars.
Miami, Atlanta, Chicago, New York.
Ding ding! Places we
should go on spring break!
No, no, no. They're all the cities that
the Cecil B. DeVille Traveling Circus
appeared in in the past few months.
And they're all the same places
that the art heists took place.
At the same time.
Where are you going? To prison.
Wow. I always assumed I'd
wind up there before she did.
(Buzzer sounds)
Ah. I'm Officer Frida...
Dudeinjail.
Hey! Eyes down here, big guy.
Look, I know I'm beautiful,
but, get over it!
Now if you'll excuse me,
I need to talk to McCoy.
Got a message from the warden.
Thank you.
Well! You're lookin' weak, McCoy!
You should be using your time
in the slammer to get swole!
(Sighs)
And with any luck, you
won't be here very long.
You're going to k*ll me?
No! You know who I am. Look at me.
Imagine there's two.
Hey... You're the one who put me away.
Yes, I am. But right now, I'm Officer
Frida Dudeinjail, and with any luck,
I will actually free the dude in jail.
Hard to believe the jury
took your word over mine.
Hey, that is not the point, OK?
The point is, I don't think you're guilty.
And you couldn't have mentioned that
when you were on the stand testifying?!
Hey! Look, you asked me for help,
and I'm here to clear your name.
I'm gonna get you out of here.
I'm almost positive who the real thief is.
It's either a... a performer,
or some type of animal...
in a traveling circus.
OK...
looks like I'm going to be in here a while.
But don't worry about me.
Historically, skinny, weak
guys do great in prison.
And the organization now
agrees that I'm onto something.
Guys, I have to make this
right and get McCoy out of jail.
So, who's ready to run
away and join the circus?
Please. I did that the day I moved in here.
OK, that would jack my circuitry up!
Guys, I'm... I'm getting really
emotional, I feel like...
we finally found Ernie's real family.
Hello... I'm Cecil B. DeVille,
the owner of Cecil B.
DeVille's Traveling Circus,
and the world's greatest ringmaster.
Or, as my mother likes to call me,
the world's greatest disappointment.
Well, I'm Kimmy and this is my family.
Where are you traveling to next?
My office, for my afternoon cry sesh.
(Choking up) Well, thank you so
much for coming on short notice.
Oh, of course. We are honored to be a
part of your incredible operation.
What? You didn't have anything
to do with my quadruple bypass.
Oh! Oh, this two-bit circus.
Yeah, right.
I wish more young people felt that way.
Kids today would rather sit
in front of their computers
and watch clips of the circus
than go to the actual circus.
Not just kids. Adults too.
See, all you have to do is click
on this link, and then you can...
Yeah, I can see how that
would be a problem for you.
Aren't you a little small and
fragile to be a circus performer?
And aren't you a little sad and
depressed to be a ringmaster?
Touché.
Well, ya'all get settled.
Your dressing rooms are right over there.
You'll find them right
past my broken dream.
Hey, did you guys hear that?
Yeah! We get our own dressing rooms!
No. His business is struggling.
It's motive to steal if I've ever heard it.
Well, that's one possibility.
Let's fan out and see
what else we come up with.
Great. I'll start with spying
on Cecil during his cry sesh.
What? It's funny to me when grown men cry.
Where'd they all go?
(Laughs)
Looking for these?
Petey. (Chuckling)
You're not supposed to be here
when the Coopers aren't home.
You're in big trouble, mister.
Big, big trouble.
I'm thinking you take me to the movies.
I'm thinking I'll call your bluff.
I'm thinking I'll call K.C.
I'm thinking...
that we should leave now
before we miss previews.
I like your thinking. (Chuckles) Oh...
trust me, you don't wanna
know what I'm thinking.
Hi, everybody!
I am Kimmy James, the new tightrope walker.
I'm so gosh-darn excited to be here.
Has anyone seen my new partner Laszlo?
I am Laszlo.
(Foreign accent) You're looking for me?
Well, if I wasn't before, I am now.
I am Kimmy James, the
high-priestess of the high wire.
So, you walk the tightrope with
religious authority of some type?
Where are you from?
Wisconsin, the heart
of America's dairyland.
Oh. So am I.
Really?
No! I am Romanian.
But I have family that lives in Wisconsin.
What part are you from?
Wh... Uh, what part
is your family from?
(Chuckles) Madison.
Yeah, well, I'm from...
the other part. Oh, Kenosha?
Yup. Yup, that's me.
Straight outta Kenosha.
OK. So I checked out all
the concession workers.
No art thieves, but plenty of crooks. Hmm.
You know, they have the nerve
to charge $ . for a funnel cake
and then skimp on the powdered sugar.
Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!
Hey, are you gonna sneeze your
way through this whole mission?
I'm allergic to these dumb tigers.
(Growling)
I think that you mean these
majestic, beautiful giants
who pretty much outrank
you on the food chain.
(Growling louder)
(Toots) Whoa!
Oh, hi!
Yeah.
My makeup doesn't look right.
I'm new at this.
You're old at this?
So... you wanna do my makeup?
OK. Sounds good to me.
You know, it's not easy
being the new clown in town.
It's a lot of pressure.
What if my pants fall down
before they're supposed to?
What if everyone laughs at me?
Or worse, what if they don't?
Aw, thank you!
Hey! I like.
Well! Maybe I should
wear makeup more often.
Not that it really matters
because I probably won't be able
to keep the lights on for another day,
but what exactly is it that you do, kid?
Balloon animals? Poodle tricks?
I am Judini, the Human-ish Cannonball.
Uh-huh.
Sweetie, I'm not familiar
with all the child labor laws,
but I'm pretty sure sh**ting a little
girl out of a cannon is frowned upon.
I'm tougher than I look.
Punch me in the stomach.
Come on. Punch me!
I'm pretty sure that's frowned upon too.
Ouch!
Ow! That...
Cannon's over there.
Knock yourself out, Judini.
Ow!
Now it is time that we rehearse.
On that little piece of dental floss?
Ah... I mean, I wouldn't
have it any other way.
Except we could have
it another way, like...
lower and wider and... both.
Why do I feel like you are stalling?
No, no. I'm not stalling.
I just... I think we should
get to know each other.
You know, I don't just go up
on a high-wire with anyone.
So, what are you into? You like art?
Ever been to an art gallery?
Hey!
Hello, there, little crab man.
I would shake your hand, but you're...
currently using them to walk, so...
Hi, I'm Kimmy, the new tightrope walker.
Why are you telling me? I don't know you.
I don't talk to strangers.
That guy's all bent out of shape.
What's his deal?
Totally paranoid.
Always looking over his shoulder...
and other body parts.
Paranoid and can fit into small spaces.
Good to know. JEFF: Are
you talkin' about me?
Gotta be honest. This isn't working.
Yeah, well, next time try ordering a salad.
I told you the sardine
pineapple pizza was a bad idea.
No, I mean us.
This blackmailing thing doesn't
have the spontaneity it used to.
I thr*aten to tell K.C.,
you take me fun places.
I thr*aten to tell K.C.,
you take me fun places.
Where's the magic?
Where's the spark?
Oh, so it's my fault
we're stuck in this rut?
It takes two to tango, mister.
Tango!
That would be a great change of pace.
We never go dancing.
Well, I don't see you
making much of an effort.
Stop criticizing me, woman!
Oh, my goodness.
I am dating a
nine-year-old.
And the worst part is, this is the
longest relationship I've ever had.
Please. Child's play.
Great work, everybody!
Tomorrow we perform for the crowd.
You know, if anyone actually shows up.
Guys. Guys.
OK. Let's review the suspects.
There's DeVille, the sad
sack owner of the circus.
Definitely has a motive to steal.
(Sobbing)
And to see a therapist.
Agreed, but, if he stole
millions of dollars' worth of art,
then why is he still in such a bad mood?
We need to keep an eye on him. OK, Judy?
Judy!
Yeah. Yeah. Watch DeVille. Got it.
What's up with this Laszlo
guy you're working with?
Well, I mean, he keeps
complaining about not getting paid,
but the jury's still out on him.
But not his abs... they're
guilty of being perfect.
Any suspects other than Mr. Good Core?
I did meet this one girl.
She's the warmest, most beautiful,
elegant creature I've ever seen.
What's her name? Wacky Jackie.
I really like her, and
I think she likes me.
Well, then, Jackie is
definitely wacky. (Chuckles)
Oh...
look at that. A rose!
That is so sweet.
Look, I'm sorry to break it to
you, but I don't date co-workers.
"Kimmy, I know why you're really here.
"I have information that can help you.
Meet me in the storage
room in five minutes."
Did you write this?
Stop licking me.
What part of "it's not happening"
do you not understand, Frenchie?
(Door opens)
Hey! Yoo-hoo! It's me.
Kimmy. (Chuckles)
(Turns switches on and off)
Came to talk. I got your letter.
(Door shuts)
(Door locked)
(Growling)
Oh!
OK, um, you know what?
Now is a great time to discuss
the merits of bein' a vegetarian.
(Rattling lock)
(Growling)
Come on. (Panting)
You guys really don't wanna do this.
I mean, look at me. I barely
got any meat on my bones.
I would be a lot of
work for a little dinner.
(Growling)
Help! Help! Help!
Did someone call for help?
(Low growls)
Yeah, this whole rushing-in-
and-saving-me thing,
not makin' you any less attractive.
So, McCoy is still stuck in prison
and we have no idea
who the actual thief is.
But you know what? I'll
tell you who it isn't.
Laszlo. If it
wasn't for him...
Those tigers would have K.C. breath?
Be poopin' out flannel tomorrow?
I was going to say flossing
pieces of me out of their teeth,
but you know what? I like your's better.
Kira: Uh, Judy, can you
analyze the handwriting
and tell us who wrote this note?
I would say this was written by...
someone with access to a pen.
Seriously, people, I need
samples to compare it to.
I am not a machine.
OK. I am a machine, but I do
need samples to compare to.
(Sneezing)
Dad, why are you wearing your glasses?
I can't wear my contacts.
My eyes are on fire.
Yeah. He's allergic to
those adorable tigers
but he doesn't wanna
complain about it...
to anybody but me.
You know, Dad, with those glasses
on, you kinda remind of someone.
You know, I feel bad for anybody who
has to look like this all the time.
Looking good, Dad.
Ah, I know you look like someone
but I cannot put my finger on it.
Uh, anyway. Guys, let's focus, OK?
Let's do what we do best.
Both: Eat dinner?
No. Complete this mission.
Like the highly qualified spies four
out of five of us actually are.
Now, we need everyone's
handwriting samples.
I'll get Wacky Jackie's,
and if she's guilty,
I'll see if she can be redeemed
by the love of a good man.
You know what? I got it.
I know who you look like.
Don Cheadle.
(Laughing) Yeah. yeah.
No. No, no. That's not it.
Man! This is gonna bug me all day.
Good thing I'm fire-retardant.
Judini, wait! Wait! Wait!
(Sighs)
Are you going to talk me out of this
because it's not safe for an adult,
let alone a
nine-year-old?
Heck no! I just didn't want to miss it!
But be careful.
The Cecil B. DeVille Circus
does not have insurance.
So what happens if your fancy
art collection goes up in flames?
My what? Never mind.
Whoo-hoo! Yeah, baby!
(Laughing)
Not bad, huh?
Judini, that was incredible!
You're my new star headliner.
Can I get that in writing?
So, Wacky Jackie... Oh, don't be so formal.
Call me Wacky.
OK. I've been thinking
about our act, Wacky Jackie...
I mean, Wacky.
Right now, I pour seltzer down your pants,
you hit me with the rubber chicken,
then I cough out feathers.
But...
what if instead
I spray you with seltzer?
Oh, I love that!
Ernie, you're the
funniest guy I've ever met.
And I've worked with Jingles The Clown.
High praise!
Oh, by the way, it's Mitzi the
Dancing Poodle's birthday today,
and I'm passing around a card.
Everyone's signing it.
And if you could somehow work the words
"storage room" in there, that'd be great.
Hop on.
You know, I would, but I did a
spinning class this morning.
Come on.
You know, I'm just...
I'm not really a huge fan of the whole,
you know,
bike-on-a-tightrope thing.
It's a little "been there,
I don't want to do that."
Don't be nervous.
Nothing can go wrong as
long as the net is there.
Of course. Hup.
OK. (Clears throat)
Oooh.
KC: Oh, oh, OK. All right.
What ya doin'? (Nervous chuckles)
Hup!
All right. All right. All right. All right.
(KC grunts)
Hop on.
Ride back to the platform?
Don't mind if I do.
Hup!
OK.
Oooh...
All right.
This is good.
You're very good...
(Both chuckle)
...for a beginner.
Beginner? Please, I have been
doing this my whole life.
In fact, I came out walking
on the umbilical cord.
KC: I don't know why
you'd think I'm a beginner.
LASZLO: Well, considering one of
your fingernails is stuck in my arm
from when you were holding on to it for
dear life, I'd say there's a chance
you're not being completely honest.
Come on.
Tell me whats really going on.
You know you can trust me.
All right.
But, listen. You have to swear
that you won't tell anybody, or else
it could be the end of my career.
I swear.
OK.
Look, there's been a string of art heists
and I have been assigned to find the thief.
I'm actually an undercover...
insurance adjuster.
Yup. Just as glamorous as it sounds.
An art thief? Huh. Do you have any leads?
Well, right now, I'm
thinking it's the tigers,
but that's probably an overly
emotional, biased response
to them trying to eat me!
OK, I am not a secret undercover
insurance adjuster like you,
but you know who I think it could be?
Jeff the creepy contortionist.
You know what? You may be right.
My mom always told me never trust a
guy who blows his nose upside down...
with his feet.
Oh, wow!
Your butt's a built-in coffee table!
Who are you? What are you doing here?
Am I being fired?
Is there a fire? Where are the exits?
(Chuckles) You're so silly!
No. I'm just your biggest fan.
Even though I'm only four feet tall.
But my mom says if I eat my fruits and
vegetables I'll grow big and strong!
Well, could you grow somewhere else?
I just wanted your autograph.
I don't do autographs.
(Cries)
OK, you can have my autograph!
Just please stop crying.
Can you make it out to Amy?
(Softly) Oh, dang. I need more letters.
Uh, can you make it out to my full name?
I am Amy...
Jingleheimerschmidt.
Ow! Cramp! Cramp!
Hey! Work through the pain, Bendy Boy!
Oh, I'm sorry. I think I got
a little froggy in my throat.
Marisa: Look, Petey, I think
this is our last hurrah.
I need an actual boyfriend, and
you need to be home by : ,
so I don't see this working out.
Yeah, I'm over you, too. It's been real.
Um, no, no, no.
You're not letting me down easy,
I am letting you down easy!
(Trumpet playing)
(Audience cheers)
(Whistle blows)
(Nose honks)
(Cheers, applause)
(Petey screaming)
Yeah!
Hey, don't those circus people kinda
look a little like the Coopers?
I am not speaking to you.
We will enjoy the show, and then go our
separate ways, as per your wishes.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am your
ringmaster, Cecil B. DeVille,
welcoming you to the
greatest circus in the world!
Don't fact check that.
And now, for our first act, Wacky
Jackie and her Big Top Clowns!
(Audience cheering)
(Laughter)
(Clang)
That weird, pathetic clown
kinda reminds me of Ernie.
It is Ernie!
Uh, uh, Earnie? Yeah, right.
I admit he's a clown, but
he's not a professional.
I'm gonna go see what I can find out.
Uh, no, no, no, no, no.
Uh, new act is coming
out. Don't want to miss it.
KC, I just completed analyzing the writing
samples, and none of them are a match.
But someone at the circus has got
to be involved with the art theft.
McCoy is still in jail,
and we need to help him.
What am I not seeing?
Laszlo. What about Laszlo?
No. I'm definitely seeing Laszlo.
I like what I see, OK?
No. Not OK.
We never got his writing sample.
But he's cool. Remember? I told you,
he's the one who saved me from the tigers.
Or, he's the one who tried
to feed you to the tigers.
What? No! No.
Think about it.
He just so happened to
have a side of raw beef
when he walked by the storage room?
I am sure that there is some logical
explanation for why that would happen.
I mean, he was probably just cooking
some dinner, heard me yelling for help,
and made a split-second decision
to sacrifice his uncooked
filet mignon in order to...
Yeah, I got played.
And now, tiger lovers, The
Amazing Wayne and Wanda!
Or, truth be told, The
Pretty Good Wayne and Wanda!
Oh, who am I kidding?
The "They Were Available at the
Last Minute Wayne And Wanda."
(Sneezing)
We're in the middle of a
show! Will you stop sneezing?
Those giant cats are giving me hives!
They're making me all itchy.
You want to talk itchy?
Get back to me when you're
wearing gold lamé drawers!
Now pick up that hoop. OK.
(Tigers growling)
You know what? I just
figured out who you look like.
And it definitely ain't Don Cheadle.
(Tigers growling)
Oh, come on. You can't
tell me that doesn't look
exactly like Mrs. Cooper and...
kind of an older version of Ernie.
Oh, so now everybody looks like Ernie?
(Chuckles) I don't know.
Something's going on, and trust me,
I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.
But first, I'm going to get
to the bottom of this!
(Tigers growling) Up-up!
Good girl.
Up-up! (Tigers growling)
Yes.
And up-up!
(Cheers, applause)
(Craig sneezing)
Craig, I got a crazy idea.
Crazier than us pretending
to be tiger tamers?
I've gotten attached to these guys.
And they don't belong at the circus
in a cage. They deserve a good home.
You'd better not be
talking about our house.
We don't have room for
a litter box that big!
No. We are sneaking them out of here.
I found a sanctuary that will
feed them and take care of them.
For free? Can we send the
kids there instead of college?
Ow! Just asking! Achoo!
KC: (Thinking) All right, Laszlo,
there's gotta be proof that you're
the art thief in here somewhere.
Ugh! Why isn't there anything here?
Unless I'm wrong and you
are as sweet on the inside
as you are on the outside.
Hey!
What are you doing in here?
It's my dressing room.
What are you doing here?
Oh, right. Um, I stopped by to say goodbye.
Yeah, um, turns out nobody at this
circus is part of the art theft,
so the insurance company
assigned me to a different case.
Yeah, something about
someone got rear-ended,
or somebody's rear end not
turning out right. I don't know.
Either I'll be talking to a
mechanic or a plastic surgeon.
Well, toodles.
Well, wait! You can't leave yet.
It's almost time for our performance,
and Laszlo needs a partner.
You've gotten so good
at the routine, and...
we can't disappoint all those little kids.
Awright. (Chuckles)
I guess it's showtime!
Oh, yes...
It's definitely...
showtime.
Hey! That poodle and I
have the same haircut!
Earnie. Earnie, what are you doing?
Waiting for the poodle act to finish.
I want to give Mitzi her birthday card.
Aw, how cute is that? Focus!
Look, I need you sneak
into Laszlo's dressing room
and see if you can get any
evidence tying him to the art theft.
All right, let me set a reminder.
If you could do all this before
I have to get on that highwire.
Walking on a tightrope is not
necessarily a walk in the park.
Relax. There's a net.
It's not that big a deal.
Said the boy who freaks out when his
peas touches his mashed potatoes.
They're not meant to touch!
And now, direct your
eyes to The Great Judini!
(Cheers, applause)
OK, I'm not crazy!
That's Judy! That's Judy!
(Chuckles) You are being ridiculous.
Here, have some popcorn.
Are you ready, Judini?
I came out of the box ready.
Beam me up, Shorty Bop!
Bon voyage, money maker!
Judy: Whoo-hoo!
Hey, Petey!
How ya doin'?
What do you say now? You
still don't think that's Judy?
I guess I see a passing resemblance.
And now, ladies and
gentlemen, boys and girls,
the Cecil B. DeVille Traveling
Circus is proud to present
the high-wire act beyond compare,
the circus star extraordinaire,
the one, the only...
Laszlo!
Wow, I'm suddenly enjoying the circus.
And my beautiful...
(Softly) and temporary...
partner, Kimmy!
Kimmy, my Aunt Franny! That's KC Cooper!
Marisa: I don't think so.
Petey: Oh, come on! She's your best friend!
How can you not recognize your best friend?
(Two-way radio beeps)
Perfect timing, bro. What's up?
Ernie: I'm in Laszlo's dressing
room. You need to know two things.
First, I found the blueprints to every
single art gallery that was robbed.
He's our guy.
What's the other thing?
I found lip prints all over his headshot.
I think he's been making
out with his own photo.
He's a weirdo! Be careful!
KC: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just got to do this performance,
then I'll take him down.
And now, before we begin our performance,
I ask Mr. DeVille to
remove the safety nets!
Remove the what now?
Come on, Kimmy! Let's do this!
Ya know, I would, I really would,
but, uh, I just remembered I have
some really important plans tonight
with some friends of mine...
the bones in my body...
and I don't really want to
break my plans... or my bones.
Relax, it's just like we rehearsed.
One step at a time.
You trust me... don't you?
(Exhales)
(Audience gasps)
Excellent, Kimmy. Or should I say...
...KC!
Wh-wh-what are
you talking about?
You don't even know what
you're talking about.
You're not an insurance adjuster,
You're here to bust me
for those art heists.
OK, so you do know what
you're talking about.
I guess the game's over. I'm taking you in.
(Scoffs) As we say in
Romania, I don't think so.
(Audience gasps)
Listen, that is not a Romania thing, OK?
They literally say that everywhere.
(KC grunts)
(Laszlo grunts)
So how did you get in
the gallery that night?
Tightrope from the next building?
(Audience gasps)
Well, it's no secret
I'm an expert with ropes.
Which is how I'll be making my escape.
Mom, the Coopers are in a circus and
some guy just pulled a g*n on Marisa!
Yes, it's true!
Pick me up, Mom!
Mom!!!
(Spectators screaming)
Relax! Relax, everybody!
It's all a part of the act.
Sheesh! Am I the only one
who understands showmanship?
Audience: Whoa!!!
There seems to be a huge mistake.
I'm not a part of this spy stuff.
I just wanted to steal a book report!
Hey! You leave that poor girl alone!
Poor girl?
Don't you mean your best friend?
What? I have never met
that girl in my entire life!
Yeah. Yeah, it's true.
I have no idea who KC
Coretta Scott King Cooper is,
and she is definitely
not my next-door neighbor.
OK, maybe we've met a few times!
Don't try to follow me or
you'll never see her again!
KC, help me!
(Audience cheers)
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. (Chuckles)
Hey, look at that Laszlo, you were right.
I didn't need a net.
But you are gonna need a lawyer.
All rise for the
Honorable Dudley Theopolis.
And just to be clear...
I am the Honorable Dudley Theopolis!
Now all sit for the
Honorable Dudley Theopolis.
Now stand.
Ha ha! Gotcha.
I didn't say, "for the
Honorable Dudley Theopolis."
You're all out!
Ha ha! Gets 'em every time, don't it?
All right, let's get down to business.
I have reviewed the new evidence
provided by Agent .
Now that Laszlo, the true
art thief, is behind bars,
I hereby overturn the previous ruling
and find the defendant Bob McCoy...
not guilty!
Whoo!
Court adjourned!
I don't know how to thank you!
Hey, I'm just glad that justice prevailed.
(Chuckles)
Good work, Agent.
Thank you. It was an honor, Your Honor.
You're one smart cookie.
Right back atcha. (Chuckles)
All right, now.
Woman: Rob, your name's on TV!
(Boing)