06x04 - Friendly Persuasion

[bunniefuu]

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, he can't talk.
She's got his tongue.

Hello! We're supposed to
be meeting new people.

I want to make out.

Oh, come on, Angela. This is
our freshman orientation.

You know,
this is a new place.

We're supposed to be
meeting new people.

You don't want to
make out with me?

No, I absolutely want
to make out, you know.

I just want
to meet people,

and I've never met anybody
while I'm making out.

Except for one night,
but that was a fluke.

Hi, I'm Camryn.

Hi, I'm Shawn.

And this is
my friend Angela.

What?

What?

You said "friend."

I did?

(CHUCKLES)

I meant, this is
my girlfriend Angela.

My girlfriend.

Oh, you two
are together?

Shawn?

Girlfriend
and boyfriend.

Oh! Well, see you
around campus.

All right. Cool.

How you doing?

I'm good, friend.
How you doing?

Oh, come on, Angela. I made a mistake.
I'm sorry, okay?

Let's make out.

Oh, it's okay.

We don't have to.

We can meet
new people.

I just didn't know it was
that important to you.

I don't want you to
miss out on anything.

What do you mean by that?

You want to meet
new people,

and I'm not
new people,

so what do you
want it to mean?

(CORY EXHALES CONTENTEDLY)

You know, whoever thought
up these orientations

is a genius.

You know, you're going to
have to go in there sometime.

Men and women going
to the same bathroom.

It's freaky!

Cory, it's just
a co-ed bathroom.

Come on, come in with me.

No! You're going
to look at me!

I won't look at you!

You don't want
to look at me?

Fine. I'll look at you.

I knew it!

You have issues.

Hey, hey, hey!

Where you going,
sunshine?

I'm going to take a
shower and meet chicks.

Hey!

My girlfriend's
in there.

Okay!

TOPANGA: Wow!

Wow!

Still can't go
in there, huh, Cor?

I'm telling you,
you might like it.

I, for one,
can't get enough of it.

Girls shower in there.

Naked.

So what do you care
about naked girls?

You have your
own naked girl.

I mean, she has the
potential to be naked

at some point
in her career.

Well, actually,
not anymore.

Angela and I decided
to take a break.

You broke up?

Yeah. I guess
that's what we did.

Why?

You know, it wasn't just my idea.
It was Angela's, too.

Yeah, but why?

Okay, after that
orientation party,

we talked about all
the new opportunities

that are open up
to us here,

and, you know, neither one
of us want to miss out.

Hey, I got to
tell you, Shawn,

I think you're making
a terrible mistake.

We just want to see
what else is out there.

What a bunch of crap,
Shawn. Come on!

You know that there's nothing out
there better than you and her.

Cory, not everybody's
like you, you know.

Not everybody spends the rest of
their life with one girlfriend.

Topanga, did you know
that Shawn...

Shawn and Angela broke up?
Yeah, Angela told me.

I think you guys are both handling
it with incredible maturity.

How is breaking up
mature?

Working it out
is mature.

Sticking together
is mature.

Cory, not every couple
is just like us.

Yeah, but I want
them to be like us.

I want them
to be happy.

Angela and I aren't going to let
this affect our friendship,

so neither should you.

You guys are both my friends
no matter what happens, okay?

Cor?

Yeah. You're both my friends.

No matter what happens.

And I know you'll be
together in the end.

Yeah.

You try and tell the guy
that something's over,

and he just
won't let it go.

(INDISTINCT)

Hey, hey, doesn't that guy
behind me look like Mr. Feeny?

Oh, don't even!

Feeny moved to Wyoming, okay? I have
closed that chapter in my life,

and I've opened up
a new one.

And you know what
I call that chapter, Jack?

Chapter five.

No, no, you know what?
I think he's right.

He does look
like the guy

in the poster
by your bed.

How you doing?

You think that
that kid's Feeny?

Yeah.
I'm pretty sure.

All right.
Let's test him.

I'm going to ask him
a question

that only Feeny would
know the answer to.

Are you George Feeny?

It's me, you moron.

Correct! Hey!

Mr. Feeny, you couldn't
stay away from me!

Hello, Mr. Matthews.
Hello, Mr. Hunter.

How you doing?
And Miss...

McGuire. Rachel.
George Feeny.

Oh, it's so nice
to meet you.

Eric talks about
you all the time.

It's such a pleasure to
finally meet Eric's grandpa.

Your what?

Maybe someday.

So, Mr. Feeny,
what are you doing here?

I mean, I thought
you were retired.

No, he couldn't
stay away from me.

He's conveniently come
back to teach this class.

Actually, I came back
to be a student.

What, so you're
not retired anymore?

Retired life didn't
turn out to be

what I was looking
for, Mr. Matthews.

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to developmental
psychology.

I'm Dean Bolander.

I've had a rotten morning,

and I don't check
my mood at the door.

Oh, my.

Down, boy.

Our first group project will be
an exploration of human nature.

Is a person able
to alter a trait

ingrained in his behavioral
makeup since childhood?

Now, for this study, you will
each need to choose a partner.

I call Jack!

What are you doing?

I knew you'd ask Rachel
to be your partner,

so I got you before
you could get to her.

Want to be partners,
Mr. Feeny?

Delighted,
Miss McGuire.

Why didn't you
just ask Rachel

before I got
the chance?

(INHALING)

It's hard to say.

You know, I don't have
a lot of control

over what goes on
up here.

Oh! A rubber band.

Neat-o!

Ooh, this is a good one.

Who are you?

Cory,
this is Camryn.

Camryn, this is my roommate
Cory, the rubber band man.

Hi.

Hello.

You know, that rubber
band was on the door

for a reason, Cor.

(LAUGHS) A little
present for me?

Excuse us.

Come on.

Okay, if there's a
rubber band on the door,

it means the room is ocupado.
You get it?

Shawn, how can you be
with another girl so soon?

I mean, shouldn't there be a
more suitable mourning period?

Nobody d*ed, Cory.
Angela and I broke up.

She's fine with it,
and I'm fine with it,

so why don't you put that
back on the door and git!

Hey, Cory,
what are you doing?

What is that,
a rubber band?

It's mine. It has nothing to do
with what's behind the door.

Shawn got a girl in there?

(SCOFFS) Don't be
silly, Angela.

I was just exercising.

(EXCLAIMS)
Feel the burn!

You don't have
to do that, Cory.

Thanks, but I wasn't just
born with this body.

I am okay with it if Shawn
has a girl in there.

Yeah. He said
you would be.

He did? Yeah, well, it's
none of my business anyway.

Why should I care?

Because you should care.
Listen, Angela,

I don't understand how you can
both be so calm about this.

Oh, drop it, Cory.
I'm fine.

Because if it's bothering you,
you should really tell me.

(SCOFFS) There's
nothing to tell, okay?

I mean, it's not bothering me,
so why should it bother you?

I'm just trying
to be a friend.

Yeah, well,
I appreciate it, Cory,

but let's not
kid ourselves.

You and I were never really
friends to begin with.

What?

How can she
not like me?

How can she say I'm not her friend?
I'm Cory!

Cory, you know
Angela likes you.

She just doesn't
really know you well.

I mean, you have to admit you never
took the time to get to know her.

Topanga, what are
you talking about?

I mean, she's been going
out with my best friend

for over a year!

When the four of us
went out, how many times

did you pull her aside
and talk to her?

times.

Not once, Cory.

You never took the time
to get to know her.

Well, you know, she never
took me aside either.

Well, then let it go.

Oh, when do I ever
let anything go?

We have the room
to ourselves.

What?

How can she not like me?

Good morning, class.

Class?

Class!

Everybody pipe down!

They're all yours.

You've done this
before, George?

She knows my name.

All right.
Let's see what you got.

Any brave volunteers
to start us off?

(WHISPERING)
What are you doing?

Trust me. Teachers
love the firsters.

Dean Bolander will be very
impressed with our initiative,

and we will set
an impossible standard

for the rest
of the class.

George and Rachel.
Let's hear it.

No, I can't go first. I
don't like first. I can't.

We have a great
presentation.

Now, you can do it.
Come on.

You know something, Dean,
if these two aren't ready,

I think Jack and I
are ready to prove that...

What was our thing?

Well, here we are,
right?

And you're fine.

So go ahead.

You do it. You. You.

Uh, it is our
postulation

that, uh, free will
determines behavior

and not one's
environment.

Rachel?

Uh...

And we will prove...

And, uh, we're
going to prove that...

Oh, I'm so nervous,
Mr. Feeny.

Uh, we will prove that
strength of character

is the predominant force.

For example,

if a reformed criminal

returns to his
old neighborhood,

does that mean that
he will necessarily

return to a life of crime?

Anyone?

Mr. Hunter.

Um, no.

No, not if he's
determined not to.

Very good, Mr. Hunter.

Very good,
Mr. Suck-up-to-the-teacher.

He's not the teacher.

Well, then why did
you answer him?

His will is too strong.

So, George,
you're suggesting

that environment has
no effect on behavior?

There will be ample time for
questions after my presentation.

And a hand raise
wouldn't k*ll you.

Excuse me?

Oh, my goodness.

Uh, Dean Bolander,
I'm sorry.

I don't know what got into me.
I apologize.

Uh, Rachel, would you please
continue with our thesis?

I can't.

Yes, you can!

You're an excellent student
and very well-prepared.

No, no. I mean, I can't
continue with our theory.

But I think I can do
the presentation now.

See, as my partner
demonstrated,

our theory
was all wrong.

I beg your pardon?

Environment obviously has a
stronger effect on behavior

than we realized.

But you're not
nervous now.

You have overcome
your environment.

Yeah, but you haven't.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Come in.

Hey, Angela.

Oh, look. I see
you got my flowers.

But, uh,

who sent you
these balloons?

Oh, look, I did.

"From your friend Cory."

Cory, I don't want you
to send me anything.

Well, it's too late.

What are you doing?

Trying to study.

Hey, you remember when we
studied for that test together

that one time, huh?

Wasn't that
something?

We never studied
for anything together.

Yeah, but we did other
stuff together, right?

Like what?

Oh, I don't know.
Didn't we find out

how Stella got her
groove back together?

You are so down,
my brother.

Angela, listen,
I want you to know

that your friendship is
really important to me.

No matter what happens
between you and Shawn.

Where you going?

I'm going to go
take a shower.

Why do you have to
take a shower now?

Because it's the one place
I know you won't follow me.

(SIGHS)

Angela?

I thought you were scared
to death of this place?

I'm more scared
of losing you.

(SIGHS) Oh, man.

Okay, what do you
want with me?

I want to know why you don't
want to be friends with me.

I mean, don't you think that
I'm worth being friends with?

Cory, this has nothing
to do with you.

Oh, it's Shawn,
right?

Just because you
broke up with Shawn

doesn't mean that
we can't be friends.

I didn't break up
with Shawn.

What do you mean?

He broke up with me. Can I
get back to my shower now?

Wait a minute.
Hold on. Stop!

What do you mean he
broke up with you?

He thinks it's mutual.

Because that's what
I want him to think.

Look, please don't
ask me about this.

Why didn't you
just tell him

that you don't want to
break up with him then?

Oh, yeah, that's
every girl's dream,

to beg somebody
to stay with her.

Look, he needs
his space.

He wants to meet
new people.

No. No, he's wrong.

Come on, you know he's never
going to find anybody

as good as you.

You don't
even know me.

Fine. You're right.

I don't even know you.

Then why don't you give
me a chance to know you?

You know, maybe
Shawn's right.

We've all been
together so long...

You know, it's just
time for us to...

Shut up.

What?
Shut up.

You couldn't be
more wrong.

Friendship is exactly
what's going to get us

all through this.

Cory...
And I am never

going to go away.

You just don't
get it, do you?

It's hard enough being
in the same school with him.

In the same class
with him.

And just when
I get a moment

where I'm not
thinking about him,

you want to come
out and play?

How do you expect me to hang out
with you and not think about him?

Because I'm not Shawn.

I'm me.

And I know that if you just
let me be friends with you,

I promise I can make
things better for you.

You want to be
my friend?

Yeah.

And you're going to keep to
yourself how I feel about him?

Yeah.

'Cause I don't want him to
stop looking for who he is

because he feels
sorry for me. Okay?

So you promise me you're not going
to say anything about this ever.

I won't say anything
about this.

To anybody?

Can I talk about it
with Topanga?

Topanga
doesn't know.

Why not?

'Cause I haven't told her.

She's your best friend.

Right.

And you haven't
told her?

Right.

But you told me.

Thanks.

It'll just be a secret
between friends.

Come here.

So, in conclusion,

watches,

chocolate,

cheese.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we give you the Swiss.

Thank you.

Eric, we were supposed
to prove something.

He did.

Okay, folks, I think that's
about all we can take today.

I'll see you
all on Thursday.

Uh, I am so sorry.

I bet you have a really strong
first impression of us, huh?

Indelible.

You know something, Dean?
This didn't all come from me.

My boy Jackie here deserves
the same grade I do.

(SIGHS) Done.

George.

George, may I
have a word?

You want me to stay
after school?

No, no,
nothing so severe.

That was, um,

that was quite
a presentation.

I don't know
what got into me.

Well, I think
what got into you

was something that
never really left you.

I intended to come here
strictly as a student.

I thought I had
retired from teaching.

Yes. Well, when I stopped
teaching to become dean,

I thought the same
thing, but here I am.

We're teachers, George.

You put us in a classroom,
we teach.

Yes, well, after
all these years,

I still have
a lot to learn.

I'm sorry, Rachel.

I guess I was a poor
choice for a partner.

You know,

I got to admit, I'd much
rather have you as a teacher

than as a partner.

I'd rather have him as
a colleague than a student.

Perhaps you'd care to call
my office about that.

Well, you have my
gratitude, Dean Bolander.

You're welcome, George.

I look forward
to your call.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Feeny!

Fee-hee-hee-hee-ney!

Ow!

Heh, heh, heh, what?

Wha-wha-what-what?

Hey!

(EXCLAIMING)

Dude, let's go.

Cory, I'm really glad that you've
gotten over your fear of the bathroom,

but that's your
fifth shower today.

(LAUGHS) I'm the
cleanest boy in school.

So, you know that guy
Tim in our econ class?

I was thinking maybe
he and Angela could...

What do you think?

No! He's not
right for...

I mean, she's not
right for him.

I mean, I don't think
we should be

setting up
Angela so quickly.

Hey, Cory, what, do you,
like, live here now?

No, no.

You know, I don't know
what I was so afraid of.

These co-ed bathrooms
are a sensational concept.

Yeah. Just think,
if these things catch on,

they'll be putting them
in people's homes.

What a terrific idea!

Hey, guys.

Hey, Angela.

Hey.

So, Cory,

what's up?

Nothing.