05x11 - A Very Topanga Christmas

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Boy Meets World". Aired: September 1993 to May 2000.*
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A coming-of-age comedy follows Cory as he juggles school, friends and romance.
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05x11 - A Very Topanga Christmas

Post by bunniefuu »

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Twenty years and our aluminum
tree looks good as new.

Love this tree.

I like you, Eric,
but I love this tree.

Okay, please, I am just
asking you, please,

Topanga's gonna be staying
here for Christmas, overnight.

Could we please not run
naked down the hall

singing We Wish You
a Merry Christmas?

I'm looking at you.

I only do it because people
have come to expect it.

Anything embarrassing about
your dad you'd care to mention?

Well, at this stage of your life,
are you capable of change?

Nope.

Okay, so just
when you do it,

say, "excuse me."

Eric, come here.

What?

(SIGHS)

What do you think of this?
(GASPS) A ring.

This is so sweet, Cory,
but I can't accept this.

We're family.
It'd be wrong.

No. It's a promise
ring for Topanga.

It means we're gonna
be together forever.

That's really precious.

You guys must be the most
precious couple in the universe.

You're freaks.

No naked running.
You got it?

Cor, look what I brought
you for Christmas.

Look, Miss Topanga head.

Hi, guys.

Thanks for letting me
spend Christmas with you.

My parents went on
a cruise to Barbados,

but I told them, no, I wanted
to spend Christmas with Cory.

Hey, why don't we toast Topanga's
first Matthews Christmas

with some of my
special eggnog?

Yeah!

There you are.

Mmm, this is
really good.

Have you guys ever
tried hot mulled cider?

No. Nog. We're
an eggnog family.

Wait. If this is tradition, I would
never want to interfere with tradition.

It's just that, you know, my
family's always had cider.

Well, we can
have both, huh?

How?

How could
we have both?

You ever been to
the supermarket?

The cider's nowhere
near the eggnog.

You know why?
They hate each other.

Go get Topanga
some cider.

Gas money?

No. Go.

I'm gonna
go with him.

Listen, Topanga, is there
anything else we can get for you

that's gonna make your Christmas
with us more enjoyable?

No, and I'm really sorry
to put you guys out.

It's just that cider on Christmas is,
like, my family's one tradition.

Well, that and we go to our
favorite evergreen tree farm.

But everybody
has one of...

What the heck
is that?

As long as we're in Vermont, could
we stop and get some syrup?

We'd be nuts not to.

This is gonna be the
best Christmas ever.

Ask her if she still wants
it on the th, Cor!

You guys, this is my first
Christmas away from my family,

and I just really
want to thank you

for making me feel
like part of yours.

You're welcome, honey.

So what time on Christmas Eve
do you guys open your presents?

We open them on
Christmas morning.

Oh.
"Oh"?

Oh.
Oh.

Conference. Come here.
Come here.

What? What?

Welcome to the rest
of your life.

Eric, so she opens her
presents on Christmas Eve.

This isn't about the presents.
So she wanted a real tree.

This isn't about the
-mile drive to Vermont.

Okay, so she makes purring
noises when we make out.

But perhaps
I've said too much.

Listen, what this is about is
today she takes over Christmas,

tomorrow it's
the rest of your life.

Goodbye, Cory Matthews. Hello,
whatever your Topanga name is.

What's the big deal about
when we open presents?

And my Topanga name is
Captain Take-Me-Shopping.

Yeah, well, Captain, this isn't
about the presents, okay?

This is about the power
struggle between men and women

since the creation of man
over years ago.

Wait till you guys see what I
have to put on top of that tree.

I'll be right back.

Okay, okay.
Okay.

Hey, another conference.
Come here. Come here.

What?

Why are you letting
her walk all over you?

She is not
walking all over me.

Watch, okay?

When she comes downstairs
with her little ornament,

I am gonna let her know that
our cardboard noodle star

is going on our tree, or I'm
not Captain Take-Me-Shopping.

Hi, guys.

(PURRS SEDUCTIVELY)

He guessed.
It was a guess.

Won't this look beautiful
on top of the tree?

Topanga, I have something
to say to you.

Let me guess.
You love the angel!

I love the angel.

I have failed.

Duh! Um, hi, Topanga.

About you spending Christmas
with us, the Matthews,

I have a problem.

Eric, if this is about the
spending limits on presents,

I'm sorry.
I just saw something

that was so Eric,
and I had to get it.

I love you.
Welcome to our family.

Okay, okay.

Hello.

Greetings of the season.
It's Christmas Carol time.

I love A Christmas Carol.

Yeah. Every year, Mr. Feeny
comes over and reads it to us.

No one ever asks him to.
He just does.

Tradition.

You know what
might be fun?

Tradition.

What if instead of you
just reading the story,

we all took parts
and acted them out?

Cory, did someone
express a problem

with how I read
this last year?

Because if I
was a little slow,

I could always
pick up the pace.

Morgan would have a
blast playing Tiny Tim.

I'm gonna
go tell her.

But I'm Tiny Tim.

And Scrooge.
And all of them.

I'm sorry. She likes
things done her own way,

but it's just one
time of year, you know?

It's not my whole life.
It's just Christmas.

And every morning when she
tells me what to wear.

Nice shirt.

So, Jack, how do you usually
celebrate Christmas?

We usually go to Val d'Isere
and ski the French Alps.

How about you?

Well, those of us in the trailer
park just like to thank God

for all that we have
this time of year.

We pray on the plane.

Okay, two brothers, not
a whole lot in common.

Nothing alike whatsoever.

So how should we
celebrate Christmas?

I don't think it's
important what we do

as long as
we do it together.

So what do we do?

Hey, when I was a kid,

I used to always wonder
what it'd be like

to celebrate Christmas
with my brother.

Now I'm gonna
get that chance.

This is gonna be the
best Christmas ever.

So what do you
want to do?

TOPANGA: Cory.

Cory, wake up.

(DOOR OPENS)

Topanga?

I mean,

Topanga, you frisky
little girl, come in.

No. I'm here because
I couldn't sleep.

Well, I think you need a nice
little snuggle, so come in.

No, I'm not here
to "come in."

Then why did you
wake me up?

I was wondering
what you were doing.

At : in the morning? I'm
usually sleeping and dreaming,

and in my dream, I said,
"come in," and you did.

Don't you ever wake up
in the middle of the night?

Not once ever.

Why?

Well, to think
about things.

What sort of things
are you thinking about?

Like, I know that
Eric likes his eggnog

and that your father
loves his aluminum tree,

and I know that you understand
that I have my traditions, too.

And you're okay
with that, aren't you?

Well, yeah. I mean, we all
have our own traditions.

In fact, one of my favorite
is sleeping when it's dark.

'Cause, you know, Cory,
we're not the same people,

and sometimes the way
that I would do things

is totally different than the
way that you would do things.

Yeah, I know that.

I knew you would.

It's just good to know that
for the rest of our lives,

you'll get up with me at : in
the morning to talk about things.

Good night.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Now I'm up.

Dad, what are you doing up
in the middle of the night?

I'm always up now.

How come?

Oh, every night I just wish that
I can make it to the morning

without that
tap, tap, tap.

"Alan, are you up?"

"Yes, pumpkin."

Then those words,

"Let's talk."

She talks until she falls
asleep, and then I make models.

Zoom!

Why are you up?

Topanga. She also likes to get
up at : in the morning.

You know, Dad, she's been here
for less than eight hours,

and I'm just now finding out all
these new things about her.

And that's bad?

Yeah. I mean, I always thought
we were so much alike,

and I thought that's why
we get along so well.

Oh.

So just when you
get to the point

where you think
that she's you,

you find out
that she's her.

So what do I do?

I've been saving one of
these for each of my sons.

Enjoy.

Merry Christmas Eve
morning, sleepyhead.

Morning.

I made you my traditional
Christmas Eve morning breakfast.

Pancakes shaped
like Christmas trees.

Thank you.

(SIGHS)
Oh, no. No syrup.

We drove to
Vermont for it.

These trees get snow.

(SINGING JINGLE BELLS)

You know, I'm not
really that hungry.

I think I'm gonna take the
garbage cans out front.

Silly, there's no collection
on Christmas Eve day.

Actually, I was gonna hang out
there till the th of January.

Somebody got up on the
wrong side of the bed.

Here, a glass of orange
juice will wake you up.

Thanks.

So... Ah! What?
This isn't orange juice!

Well, I squeezed in
some grapefruit.

But why? Orange juice on its
own is very delightful.

Cory, you're
a little tense.

Why don't we
go for a walk?

(GASPS) Along the way, I'll show you the
route we'll take when we go caroling.

No. Topanga,
you know I can't sing.

It's Christmas.
We'll sing together.

No, you're not hearing me.
I can't sing.

I don't like to sing.

I get embarrassed
when I sing.

It's just singing.

No, it's not
just singing.

I like opening presents
on Christmas morning.

I miss our aluminum tree.

You're right, you know,
we're two different people,

and we're not
gonna change that.

Boy, you're with somebody for
years, you think you know them.

You walked out on Topanga
on Christmas Eve day?

Cory, go back.

No. I'm not
gonna go back.

You know, Jack, he doesn't
realize how lucky he is

to have a girl
like Topanga.

I don't really know her.

You know, I was gonna give her
this ring, Shawn, you know?

I was gonna
give her this ring

that meant that we're gonna
be together forever.

Okay? But then I started learning
all these new things about her.

What kind of human being puts
grapefruit juice in orange juice?


Cory, I am but
a simple idiot,

but the one thing
I do know

is that you
and Topanga

are just like grapefruit
juice and orange juice.

Okay?

You shouldn't
be together,

yet somehow you are.

(LAUGHS)

You know, I'm sure
I'll get to know her.

And if I don't, I don't. Well,
Merry Christmas, everyone.

Shawn, you know, I thought Topanga
and I were exactly alike,

but we're not.
We're different people.

But I guess it's better
I found this out now.

Cory, you want to talk
about different people?

Me and Jack, don't have one
thing in common. Nothing.

We're spending Christmas together
trying to find one similarity.

Hey, some girl's
here to see you.

Now, Cory, I know
you're upset with me.

I'm sorry,
I love you,

and if you never want to go caroling
with me, you don't have to.

I'm sorry that my
family's traditions

are different
than your family's.

I'll just be waiting
for you back at your house

whenever you
want to come home.

Go after her, Cory.
It's Christmas.

No, I need to think.

If Topanga won't
let me fall asleep

listening to Feeny
read A Christmas Carol,

I'm gonna fall asleep
watching it on TV.

SHAWN: Okay.

Do whatever you want,
but I'm going ice skating.

Wait a minute.
You like ice skating?

I love ice skating.

I love ice skating, too.

You're kidding!

No!

Now we got something
in common, man!

All right!
Yeah!

Let's go ice skating.
All right.

And every Christmas,
we'll go ice skating.

We're starting
a tradition right here.

I especially love
ice skating in France.

Don't k*ll this.
Okay.

ANNOUNCER ON TV: And now we
return to Charles Dickens'


immortal classic,
A Christmas Carol.

Mr. Matthews,
wake up!

Mr. Feeny.

I am not Feeny.

I am the Ghost of
Christmas Future.

No. You're a doorman
at the Plaza Hotel.

You were watching A Christmas
Carol and you fell asleep.


Now I am here to show you
what will become of you

if you stick to the
path you have chosen.

I don't want to play.

Well, hey, look,
there's Eric.

See, everything's the same.

Hey, bro.

He can't hear you.
This is Christmas future.

Well, look who
lost his looks.

Cory, I'm home!

Got your aluminum tree, your eggnog,
and I had your pants let out!

Now, why would I need
my pants let out?

Oh, I'm a big boy.

Once you let Topanga out of your
life, you took comfort in food.

Not just any food, for
some inexplicable reason,

you eat only one thing.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner,

: in the morning.

Gosh. Okay,
Mr. Feeny,

I want you to show me
how horrible and miserable

Topanga ended up
without me.

Oh, you don't want to
see this, Mr. Matthews.

It's pretty grim, huh?

Show me.

Topanga. She's beautiful.

But she's alone,
isn't she?

I guess that's
what happens

when you have to have
everything your own way.

Look at that. She even has
to have wood delivered.

Probably no husband around
to chop it for her.

Hey, wait a minute,
that's Jack.

I don't really know you too well,
but thanks for marrying me.

Well, obviously, it's
a loveless marriage.

Those are supposed
to be my kids.

All right, children, it's Christmas Eve.
Time to open presents.

You see that?
Everything her own way.

Look at the tree.

It's aluminum.

Topanga would never
have an aluminum tree.

How did Jack get
her to do that?

Perhaps he never ran out of
the house like a coward.

Perhaps he realized that the
spirit of love brings compromise,

that when two people
grow together,

they start their
own traditions.

You know everything,
don't you?

Oh, no,
Mr. Matthews.

This is your dream.
I'm merely in it.

Topanga, I'm sorry, okay? We
can have Christmas your way.

And the next year, maybe
we can have it my way.

And the year after, we can have a
combination of both of our ways,

with the emphasis
on your way.

She can't hear you.

Topanga,

I love you.

I love you, too,

Jack.

FEENY: Come, Mr. Matthews.

Time to go.

I really thought Cory
would be back by now.

This is all my fault.

Hello.

If I would have
never come here,

Cory would have
never run away.

I've ruined
your Christmas.

I just wanted so much to
be part of your family.

I never wanted
to push Cory away.

(CORY SINGING THE FIRST NOEL)

Hi.
Hi.

Merry Christmas.

Cory.

It's a promise ring.

It means that we're gonna
be together forever.

You mean you want to
be together with me

even though we're so
different from each other?

Yeah.

And don't get me a present
this year, because,

you already did.

You know, I thought I knew
everything about you,

but I'm just
starting to find out.

It's good
we're different.

Yeah, it is.

Open your present.

It's a promise ring.

(ALL LAUGHING)

And now for my favorite
part of the holidays.

A Christmas Carol,
by Charles Dickens.

"A Christmas Carol,
by Charles Dickens,"

as read by George Feeny.

"Marley was dead,

"to begin with.

"There was no doubt
whatever about that.

"The registrar of his burial
was signed by the clergyman,

"the clerk,
the undertaker...

"And so,
as Tiny Tim observed,

"God bless us,
every one."

(SNORING)

Bah, humbug!
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