03x14 - A Kiss is More Than a Kiss

[bunniefuu]

- That's great, Cor. I'll see you later.
- See you.

- Cory, were you just talking to Topanga?
- Yeah. Well, I was feeling a little chatty

and, you know, even though we broke up,
we're still friends.

She's your ex. Let me spell that for you.

X!

Look, Shawn,
Topanga and I aren't like other couples.

You're not a couple.

- I know.
- My point exactly.

- Then we agree.
- No! I think we're saying the same thing.

Cory, I double-checked.

We have to be there at three
for the Promwear Fashion Fest.

Fashion Fest?

Yeah. This Saturday, Cory and I
are modeling formalwear for the prom.

Isn't it great
we can still do things together?

- Don't do that.
- I've always done that.

Shawn, are you crying?

I think I lost you, man.

I said I'd do this Fashion Fest thing
when we were still going out.

- I mean, I can't bail on her.
- Yeah, you can. You've got to move on.

Quit your crying.
I'm just a guy in a tux,

walking down an aisle with his ex-girlfriend
in a gown, in front of the entire school.

And you think I haven't moved on.

OK, Cor. If you're really over her,
then you're ready to date other girls.

Well, I should say so.

So you'd be up for
a little double-date action?

Yes. But what will you do, Shawn?

Oh, now this is the Cory
I've always hoped for.

Hey, Katie, Melissa. Do you guys
want to go out with me and Cory tonight?

- Sure.
- That'd be great.

All right, Cor,
we just got ourselves a double date.

What do you say?

You go.

OK.

"Penn State Office of Admissions." Oh,
please, please, please, please. Come on.

"Dear Eric Matthews,
we have reviewed your application,

and we are very pleased to announce..."
Oh! Yes!

"...we've had
a record number of applicants."

"Regretfully,
there's not room for everybody."

"Therefore
we must reject your application..."

I'm sorry, Mr. Matthews.

Oh, hey! Mr. Feeny, no.
Don't be sorry for me. I'm not disappointed.

Actually, you wanna know
why I came out here to read the letter?

It's not my business, Eric.

I know. But my parents
take these college rejections kinda hard.

I just wanna protect them.
Yeah, me? I'm fine.

You get , of these babies,
it rolls right off your back.

Perhaps your parents
could use a little pep talk?

- What would you tell them?
- Well, that no one likes rejection.

But, if you keep applying and keep trying,

you and the right college
will find each other.

Thanks, Mr. Feeny.

I mean, from my parents, 'cause
they don't know what you've said yet.

- Cory, what are you doing?
- I'm enjoying a tasty lemon.

- Is there a reason?
- Yeah, we're out of mints.

Sucking citrus, eh?
Little Cory's got a date.

No, no. It's not a date.

So, Cory,
your dad says you're going on a date.

- It's not a date.
- Date. The biggest.

You know, why can't you guys
learn from Morgan? She is a great sister.

I mean, she stays in her room,
you don't hear from her, you don't see her,

and, best of all,
she stays out of my personal life.

So, rumor upstairs is you got a date.

Morgan, long time no see.

Yeah. That was the longest time-out
I've ever had.

So who's the unlucky girl?

Well, if you must know,
her name is Melissa, OK?

- And we're just seeing a movie.
- With that thing on your nose?

- What thing?
- It's too easy.

Mom!

Come on, Morgan.
Let's go watch TV in the other room.

TV's not funny.
Cory's life is funny.

- Come on, Morgan.
- I just got here. I have to leave again?

- Well, Cory has to talk with Eric.
- Yeah, sure.

Cory talks to Eric. Cory talks to Shawn.
Cory talks to Mom and Dad.

When does Cory ever talk to Morgan?

- Are you here now?
- Yeah.

- Were you here before?
- No.

I was in my room for a real long time.

Be happy.

All right, look. Your first date after
a serious relationship can be kinda tough.

- It's not a date.
- It's not a date. Yeah, I know. Look...

I give you a lot of respect
for getting back out there.

- Thanks, Eric. Any advice?
- Yeah, look, it's a whole new world.

So whatever you do,
don't mention your old girlfriend,

'cause I guarantee
your date's not interested.

- (phone rings)
- Now, listen.

This is the most important thing.

This is the one thing that could save you
if you get in any trouble.

- (Amy) Eric. Jodie's on the phone.
- Gotta go.

Wait, Eric.
Eric, that last thing. The saving thing.

It really wasn't that important.
Coming, Jodie.

That was such a great movie.

How was the one you guys saw?

Nice, but we missed you.

Well, hey. I was just one theater over.
You know, that's the beauty of multiplexes.

And it's not like we're gonna do a lot
of talking during the movie anyway, right?

Well, there are other things
we could've done.

Could've, should've...
Let's not live in the past.

Are you guys gonna keep talking?
'Cause I can't hear myself kiss.

Phew! Fresh air.

Excuse us for a minute. Katie?

- Hi. I'm on a date. What are you on?
- A date.

No. You're on the lecture circuit.

- A date is not a date until you kiss.
- That's just your opinion.

It's the reason we got out of the trees, man.

Now, look.
I'm doing this for your own good.

I don't want to have to put pressure on you,
but you have got to kiss her.

- I know. I know.
- By the end of the night.

And remember,
you've got until the doorstep.

So, here we are at the doorstep.

Cory, you've said that
three times already.

I just can't get over it.
I mean, a door, a step...

It's just a perfect word.

I mean, some words are so bogus.

"Window." What's that all about?

Kiss me.

Really? Just like that?

Yeah. Don't you want to?

Mr. Turner, Mr. Williams, Mr. Feeny.

They said it couldn't be done.
They said it was impossible.

- They said we're eating here.
- Yeah, wrong on all three counts.

- You gonna tell us? Or just torment us?
- Both.

I hold here, in my hand,
a letter of acceptance to college.

- Whose?
- Mine.

- All right, Matthews.
- Outstanding.

Congratulations, Eric. Your parents
must be relieved and very happy.

- Yeah, I sure am.
- So where are you going?

Boris.

- Boris?
- Yep. Boris.

- Boris College?
- BC.

Forgive me, Mr. Matthews,
but I'm not familiar with any Boris.

- May I see your letter?
- Oh, sure. Hey, oh!

Can you wipe your hands first, Mr. Feeny?
This puppy's going up on the refrigerator,

right under the magnetic sushi.

Once again, congratulations. I'm sure Boris
College will be very lucky to have you.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Feeny. Hey, you know,
thanks for always believing in me.

You know, when Boris plays Notre Dame
you're gonna be sitting right next to me

on the -yard line.

Hey, Kristen!
Guess who got into college!

Boris?

I'll take Notre Dame, by points.

Hey, hey, hey, mi amigo.

All you did was shake her hand?

- How did you come up with that?
- It's written all over your unkissed face.

Shawn, I was gonna kiss her, all right?
I really wanted to.

I mean, my lips were primed.

My hand just got there first.

You're never gonna be over Topanga
until you can kiss another girl.

- And I will.
- OK.

But it's not gonna be Melissa because,
after last night,

she is never gonna want to see you again.

Cory, I'd like to see you again.

- How about tonight?
- Sounds great.

You know, any other guy
would've kissed me, but you didn't.

I like that.

Everything I've ever believed is wrong.

I... I must try this...

...what you call "handshake."

Hi, Shawn.

Hi, Katie.

Can I...

- Can I shake your hand?
- Sure.

Cory, you're a genius.

Now, tonight, that was a flick, huh?

Well, it was nice
being in the same theater with you.

Maybe next time
we'll be in the same row.

Hey, I had to move. I mean, you don't
want to ask a guy to take his turban off.

So, it being our second date and all,

it seems only natural
that we should take the next step and...

Meet your parents.

Everybody decent?

You met her parents?

- How do you do that?
- No, bigger question.

How do you not kiss her?

Look, I was going to, Shawn, all right?

But every time I tried,
all I could think about was Topanga.

You were right, though. I mean,
I'm not over her. But she's not over me.

I mean, I know it,
Topanga knows it, and...

...the guy she's kissing knows it.

Why doesn't Topanga
just rip my heart out and stomp on it?

She can't. She's busy making out.

Maybe I'm dreaming.

Pinch me.

Not on the butt.

Sorry. It was just right there.

All right, that's it. I'm going in.

No! Cory, Cory.

I'm not gonna let you
make a fool of yourself.

But that guy's
helping himself to my woman.

One, she's not your woman.

And two...

- Wow, he's fast.
- That's it. I'm putting a stop to this.

- No! That's it. You're going home.
- But Shawn...

OK, watch out! Watch your feet.
Hot soup. Coming through.

(Cory) Oh! Ow!

Sorry, buddy. It's not easy
to hold a guy and work a lock.

Shawn, I don't know what you're doing.

I mean, as soon as you put me down,
I'm going right back to Topanga.

Yeah?
And what are you gonna tell her?

I'm gonna tell her that
if she keeps kissing guys like that, then...

...then... it's over!

Cory! It is over!

Look, Topanga's doing
exactly what she's supposed to.

She's met someone new,
she's dating someone new,

and now she's kissing someone new,
just like you were gonna.

But I didn't, Shawn. I don't want this.

- Well, Cory...
- I don't want this, Shawn.

What are you gonna do?

Something I should've done
in the first place.

- Cory.
- Melissa.

I wasn't myself tonight.
And last night? I mean, who was that?

But right now
I know there are sparks between us.

- I know.
- I think we should see what we got here.

Oh, yes.

- Nothing.
- Oh, well. See you in school.

My best to your folks.

(Cory) I mean, as soon as I kissed Melissa,
Shawn, I felt worse.

So there are no sparks
between you and Melissa.

You did a good thing kissing another girl.

This way, when you see Topanga
with another guy, you won't go bonkers.

Bonkers.

Hey!

Chicken fights, me and Nick.

Now I've lost him again.

Cory, hi. Um...

So, do you know Nick?

Better than before.

So you must be the old boyfriend, right?

- Oh, so she's talked about me, huh?
- No.

Those are the only ones
who ever jump on my back.

See you.

Cory, I know this is weird for you,
but you can't be acting like this.

We're not together anymore.

Oh, so that means
you can date anyone you want to?

- I'm not going to have this conversation.
- Fine. Don't have this conversation. I will.

- Cory, people are staring at us.
- Well, let them stare at us.

That didn't seem to bother you
last night at Chubbie's.

- You were there?
- Yeah.

I mean,
how do you think that made me feel?

Cory, I'm sorry you saw that.

But we both knew
we were gonna see other people.

I know. But...

You're not supposed to kiss anybody else.

- Cory, I wish I knew what to say.
- (bell rings)

- Well, I gotta get to class.
- Well, I'm not done talking to you.

Well, I gotta go.

You know, when you were my girlfriend
you would've been five minutes late.

Well, I'm not your girlfriend anymore.

Fine.

If that's the way you want it, I got a better
idea. Let's not be friends anymore either.

You don't mean that.

- Hey, Eric. I heard your good news.
- Yeah, thanks.

Boris College. I'm pretty stoked.

Maybe I should apply there.
I mean, we could hang out together. Party.

Whoa! Well, you know, I'm not sure
Boris is much of a party school,

but we could study together.

- That would be nice.
- All right.

George,
I called the National Registry of Colleges.

- And?
- Just as you suspected.

They never heard of Boris College.

- I was hoping I was wrong.
- George, come... "Boris?"

- I said "hoping."
- You know,

I've heard of these bogus scams. They
take bucks from unsuspecting kids

and then they mail them a diploma
in whatever field they want.

- Somebody's gotta tell him.
- Yeah, I agree. But who?

Oh, I know.
Why doesn't George do it?

- Mr. Matthews, I need a word with you.
- Oh, hey, Mr. Feeny.

If it's about that letter of recommendation
I've been hounding you for,

thanks, but I don't really need it.
After all, I am Boris-bound.

I have bad news. You're not going
to Boris College because, uh...

Well, actually,
because Boris College doesn't exist.

Now, I know
that's very disappointing for you to hear.

I kinda already knew.

You do?

Yeah, well,

a couple of days after I got my acceptance
letter, they mailed me a diploma.

And I'm no brain surgeon...

Actually, according to Boris, I am.

Well, if you knew, Eric,
why did you go on pretending?

I don't know, Mr. Feeny. I mean...

...everybody's sitting around here
talking about colleges,

what schools they're going to, what
courses they're gonna be taking and...

...when I got that acceptance letter
I felt like I was part of something.

That's what it's all about,
isn't it, Mr. Feeny? Letters.

I got the wrong letters on my report cards,
I'm getting the wrong letters now.

I must say I'm very pleased that
going to college means so much to you.

It's that very spirit
that just may get you there.

- Yeah, I hope so.
- But, seriously, Eric.

Boris College?

Mr. Feeny, you think that's bad?
You see that girl over there?

She thinks she's going
to some school called "Duke."

Are you gonna tell her or should I?

"To Cory, Happy Valentine's Day ."

"Love always, Topanga."

"Always" is pretty short these days.

"John Adams High School
Prom Fashion Show. This Saturday."

Like that's gonna happen.

(teddy bear) I love you beary much.

Yeah? And I got a crush on you.

(teddy bear) I love you bear... (screams)

Cory, what was that?

That was the sound
of a relationship ending, Dad.

- Cory, didn't Topanga give you this?
- Yep.

I thought you two agreed to stay friends.

Yeah, so did I, Dad.
But Topanga didn't mean it.

I mean, two weeks after we break up
she ends up kissing another guy.

And not just any guy, Dad.

Another guy.
I mean, I don't want this.

Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't
be upset, but you have got to expect it.

Topanga is gonna go out with other guys.

And you're gonna go out with other girls.

You two are in high school.
You're supposed to date around.

- That's how you find the right person.
- I know.

But... what if Topanga's my right person?

She might be. And going out with other
girls might help you find out for sure.

Your mom and I, we broke up,
got back together, three or four...

Once.

Right, uh, once.
Before we got married.

And did you guys stay friends?

There were some rocky points,
but we were always there for each other.

See, I think
that's what brought us back together.

I mean,
if you really care for each other

you don't just throw away the most
important bond you have - your friendship.

OK, guys. We got a roomful of parents
out there, all right?

I'm gonna need you lined up as couples.

- Topanga, I don't see Matthews.
- I don't think you will.

Hey. Matthews wouldn't let you down.

That's what I thought.

(clears throat)

- Hi, everybody.
- (one person claps)

Welcome to the second,
or third, or whatever,

annual fashion thing.

I'm here because Mrs. Buckley is home,
hacking up all kinds of good stuff.

Lucky her.

OK, so here we go!

If you see anything you like for your kids,
there's order forms on the table.

If you have any questions, well, don't ask
me 'cause this is the nicest thing I own.

Cory.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Come on, let's go.

Cory, wait.

There's something I want you to know.

The other day, when you said
you didn't want to be my friend,

you really hurt me.

Yeah, and I felt great
when I saw you kissing that guy.

Cory, Nick has nothing to do with you.

Must you use his name?

Well, what do you want me to call him?

Sally!

- I want you to call him Sally.
- Cory, you're being crazy.

No, you're being crazy, OK?

Because you and I
have known each other our entire lives,

and it took us years
to kiss each other the way you kissed him.

- I didn't kiss him the way I ever kissed you.
- Oh, great. I'm dancing now.

Cory,

Nick is just a guy I'm going out with.

I don't care about him
the way I cared about you.

I mean,
we're only seeing other people because...

...what else are we supposed to do?

I'm supposed to see other people.
You're supposed to wait till I die.

Cory, if it'll make you feel any better,

the first time I see you
kissing someone else I'll jump on her back.

- Really?
- Probably not.

But I'll sure feel like it.

- Topanga?
- Yeah?

That stuff I said before
about us not being friends anymore?

Yeah?

I don't want that.

Yeah, fine.

Guys, come on. I got some lady out there
who wants to buy my clothes.

Cory, thanks for coming.

I'd never not be there for you.

- Morgan, what are you doing?
- Filling out college applications.

Are you kidding?
You're only in third grade.

Cory said that if you can go to college,
anybody can go to college.

Morgan, isn't it time
to go bother somebody else?

You know, you're right.

Cory!

I'm in your room!

- Afternoon, Mr. Matthews.
- Hey, Mr. Feeny.

I took your advice. I'm not gonna let
this Boris fiasco faze me.

For every rejection they sent me
I'm gonna send out five new applications.

I mean, somebody's gotta cave.
Or make a clerical error.

Very good, Eric.

I thought, perhaps,
this might be of help to you.

- What's this?
- Read it.

"A letter of recommendation
for Eric Matthews?"

"Exceptional character..."

"Enormous potential..."

"Someone I'd bet on."

Mr. Feeny, I can't speak.

I meant every word.

No, you see, I just sealed envelopes.