10x02 - You Want the Lot Fees? Suck Them Out of the Tip Of My f*cking Cock

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Trailer Park Boys". Aired: April 2001 to present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

Ricky and Julian are two guys whose lives were shaped by their experiences growing up in the Trailer Park. Their childhood was typical of most trailer park kids: stealing, fighting, smoking, drinking, scamming and listening to Van Halen.
Post Reply

10x02 - You Want the Lot Fees? Suck Them Out of the Tip Of My f*cking Cock

Post by bunniefuu »

All those years I was trying
to find a little bit of peace,

and who would have knowed

it was right here
just down the road?

Do I miss Sunnyvale?

Not on your life, bud.

Not Ricky and
fuckery!

Still get me pissed off
when I think of them!

But hey... I have
a new life now.

Randy and I, well,

we're taking a little bit of
a break for a while, and...

Julian... no more of
that f*cking confusion.

You know, you're wondering
whether I'm still "the liquor".

No. Guess what?

I'm on top of the liquor.

I am the monkey in
charge of bananas.

What's my secret?

This little device right here.

I just take a little blow...

and it tells me when it's
time for a little top-up.

Because when I first got this,

I used to ride it around . ,

which is f*cking wasted, / .

But now I leave it at . ,

which is perfect.

It's right in the f*cking slot,
just past the click,

that wonderful moment...
just like Julian;

I'm sober enough to
know what I'm doing

and I'm drunk enough
to really enjoy doing it.

Oh! Look at that!

. . Time for a little
drinky-poo.

Cheers, genitals.

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mm...

Mmm!

So Barb Lahey just
got out of jail

and she dropped
this off to me.

She says she wants
the park back

and there's a court
date in days.

She's filing a...
whatever the f*ck that is.

Yeah, like, we're f*cked.

That gutter slut!

All right, we might
not be f*cked.

I might be able to
do something here

but I need to stall
that annoying quiff.

So there's hope, then?
There's always hope.

If you've got the money
to pay for hope.

Now I'm going to
need a retainer.

Now, let's say, I don't know,
a grand to start.

And I want to keep
this clean, all right?

Full disclosure.

That milk-drinking curdbag
tried to hire me already

but I-I want to represent you
guys in this thing, okay?

But I need to fight
fire with money.

Now that is just how
it works, all right?

All right. Okay.
Give us a day.

We'll have your thousand bucks.
Let's go, boys.

Great! Talk to you
later, boys.

Thanks, man.
All right!

We gotta swing by the whore
wash on the way back, boys,

and pick up
Lucy's car.

Come on, boys,
it's only a thousand bucks.

We barely have to break the
f*cking law to come up with that.

Break the f*cking law? Why
do we got to do that, man?

Just take it out of
your f*cking bar.

Rick, everybody has
a f*cking bar tab.

Nobody's paying
me lot fees.

Including you two dicks.
Dicks?

Why am I a f*cking
d*ck now?

Bubbs, you must have
something saved up.

Julian, I've got
bucks on me

and about in the bank.
That's it.

Okay, that's a start.
What about you, Rick?

You're always
as busy as f*ck.

You only take cash. What are
you doing with all your money?

We've got a bit
of money saved up.

It's for f*cking
Trinity's wedding, man.

I can't spend it
on this sh*t.

f*cking Lucy'd b*at
the tits right off me.

Okay, it's final, then.
We're doing f*cking jobs.

No, we're not. No f*cking jobs.
No way.

Well, I'm definitely
not doing f*cking jobs

if he's not f*cking
doing them.

"I'm definitely not doing jobs
if he's not doing f*cking jobs!"

Oh, f*ck off!
No, you f*ck off!

Oh, for f*ck's sakes!
Idiot!

It's under there by
that f*cking bag!

Watch out! Ricky, look out!
Look out!

Jesus Christ!

Oh, f*ck off! I dropped
my f*cking joint!

Don't look at me like that,
you f*cking bitch.

Jesus Christ!
Ricky!

Well, f*ck! She started it.
It wasn't my f*cking fault.

Just here.
Let me out here.

I've got to get some cat food. I'll
meet you guys back at the park.

You think about what I said,
because you and your cats

are going to be f*cking
homeless, Bubbs.

This is so f*cked!

You're right,
it is so f*cked!

I'll get Randy
collecting lot fees.

Hopefully we'll be able to come up
with most of the money that way.

But if not, man, you've got to
help me out with the rest of it.

I'm not doing
this by myself.

I heard you were back.
How was Mexico?

Yo, it was more
like Sexico, dawg.

Non-stop for a month.

We was hittin' it
and quittin' it,

hittin' it and quittin' it!
It was all that.

Hey,
Randecko, pardon my mann-ors.

I would like for you to
meet the love of my life.

This is Marsha.
Burrito?

Couldn't you just
fall in love with him?

So beautiful. I like it, so
I had to put a ring on him.

Do you know what I'm
saying to your face?

Why are you talking
so weird, J-Roc?

Why are you talking
all so weird, Randy?

I'm not talking weird.

Well, open the gate
so I can see my son.

What are you saying?
Open the gate!

The gate? Okay... Open the gate!
Motherfocker!

Thanks for
the burrito.

Small brain,
big stomache.

Yo-o-o-o-o, dudes!
What's up?

Man, how was Mexico, man? I bet you

the nachos were awesome
down there, man!

Ridiculous... Man, nachos are
the same everywhere, Cory.

What's wrong with you?

What up, hah?
What's up, dad?

Pour some sugar on me witcha candy.
How was Cancun, dawg?

Good, but I missed a mahfucker,
tell you that right quick.

What'd you bring
me back, B?

I brought you
back something very special.

The gift of a happy life.

Who's this Mexic-ho?

This Marsha.
Your new mudders.

Together we'll be
a happy family, hi-ay.

Hold up. Show me
that smile again.

I already have a mom. She
dumps like a truck, remember?

It's okay. It's a lot to
wrap your mind around again.

You take your time, okay?
We'll be heres.

Y'all gonna be waiting
a while 'cause y'all crazy.

He will grow
on your face.

That's nice.
Let's go inside.

Aghh! Peanut butter balls!

Hurry up, you Popsicle-
eating hippopotamus!

f*ck, you're
dumbly stupid!

Hey, guys.
Jesus Christ, Randy!

When was the last time
you took a shower?

You smell like a dead
sea otter's ballsack!

Sorry, Ricky! You...

Sorry I don't have
frigging time to shower

because I work so frigging hard!
f*cking idiot!

It's obvious that
people don't have

a clue how much I
frigging work every day!

With no breaks!

Randy, I want you to go around
and collect lot fees, okay?

There's people that are months
behind, and we need cash fast.

Then we'll sit down and have a little
talk about your feelings, okay?

I need some
backup, Julian.

Ricky keeps taking Jacob
to work at the Drug Store

and you keep taking Cory to
work at the night care centre.

I'm here, alone,
working the gate.

and collecting lot fees

and I don't even have time to frigging
whipper-snip, for frig's sake!

Not to mention make
your dumb, stupid,

little f*cking stick
crafts over there!

Those stick crafts are
the only frigging thing

- that's keeping me sane!
- Ricky!

Are you going to collect the f*cking
lot fees or am I going to fire you?

You know what, Julian?
Frig it!

Frig it. I tried
to collect lot fees.

I've tried, and people
just don't pay!

I tried... I even tried
with force, Julian,

and they just tell
me to "F" off!

And then they move
out of the park.

The park is half frigging
empty, for frig's sakes!

You know what?

Frig it, Julian! I quit!

Whoa, boys, boys!
f*cking watch her!

You've got a bad f*cking
bearing on that wheel.

That thing could flip,
you could get hurt.

Thanks for the tip.

Nerd.

What did you call me?
A nerd.

Are you going to f*cking do something
about it? Leave him alone, man.

He's Ret*rded.

Who's Ret*rded?

Made you flinch!

Did not.
All right.

Let's get out of here. Don't
want to make the nerd cry.

Ha! f*cking ret*rd!

Horse cock! What are you talk...?
You're not going to quit!

Yes, I am! You're not a quitter!
Come on!

What do you want
from me?

I want some respect, Julian. All right.
You got it. You know what?

You can even tell the people
you're collecting money from

that you're doing this as
a personal favour to me.

How's that, bud?
Yeah, well,

I want a commission off the
lot fees I collect too.

Commission...

How about I give you a f*cking
commission off the tip of my cock?

Eight or nine percent. How about that?
Frig off, Ricky!

Randy, I know you
didn't shove me...

What the
f*ck is all over you?

I'll take them off! No, you're not!
Enough! Boys!

Listen, how about
I take % off the top

and then give you two points of that.
All right?

Because we're friends.

Look, man, I really
appreciate the...

hard work you're
doing for me, Randy.

All right?
Okay, Julian.

Deal. Let's hug on it.

What? f*ck.

Some people shake hands.
I prefer hugs.

Come on, Julian.
You get them all the time.

I don't.

that up there...

Jesus Christ.
All right, okay.

All right, that's good.
That's... That's good.

All right, open
the f*cking gate.

Oh, my f*ck!

You got Popsicle all over Lucy's car,
and it was just waxed! Wipe it up!

Wipe it up, Ricky! I'm opening the
frigging gate. Ricky, just...

Oh, you want me to wipe it up?
Yeah.

I'll f*cking wipe it up, but you're
not going to be happy about it, bud.

Just get in the
f*cking car, Ricky.

Ricky! What the frig are you doing?
There you go, bud.

There's your
f*cking towel back.

Ricky, get in the car!

Boys!

Ricky, get the
f*ck over here!

Frig off, Ricky!

What is wrong with
your f*cking brain?

We're f*cking fighting real soon!
Get in the f*cking car!

You be ready any time!
Ricky, get in the f*cking car!

Me and you, f*cking...
man on f*cking man on!

Keep him under control.
I will. Thanks, Randy.

Keep your f*cking self under
control, you slimy f*ck!

Picked up a part-time job
delivering flyers.

Keeps me in gin
and groceries.

It's, uh...

very easy and surprise...

surprisingly satisfying.

Barb!

Jim!

Ha-ha! It's been a while!
What the heck!

Give us a hug!

Whoa, look at you!

Goodness. Hi, Donna,
how are you doing?

Well, what a...

Who's this?
This is Candy.

She's sticky sweet

and twice the lover
that you ever were.

I see.

Nice to meet you, Candy.
f*cking right, it is.

Yeah.
Barb, uh...

glad you've got
a new friend,

and I'm really happy to
see you out of jail but,

look, I... I better...

I better move along. I...

I've got to be delivering
my flyers, Barb.

And, uh...

good luck, ladies.

What's going on?

Well, you see,
Jim, my lawyer

says I can get
the park back.

Well, that's great, Barb!
I know!

Well, good luck on that.

Yeah, I...
Candy, please?

But the thing is, Jim,

that I-I need your help,

and I am not taking
no for an answer.

I can't get involved.
I'm sorry.

Go get Jacob and
collect some lot fees.

Yeah, right. What's in it for us?
Popsicles.

Well, last time you said I was getting
a Popsicle, you gave me half, dude.

No way.

I'll give you one full
one each this time.

Can it be rainbow?

I don't have rainbow.

I have orange.

All right, that's cool.
I'll take orange, man.

Orange is all right.

J-Roc!

J-Roc!

There's
no one home but us cucarachas!

Come on, J-Roc.
Give me some lot fees.

It's pronounced
"Yay-Roc", Randees.

Randy, I do not
have your lot fees.

Come on, it's a personal
favour for Julian.

I do not have
your lot fleas.

J-Roc, frig off! Come on!

f*ck off!

I'm on bottom!
Hey, Julian.

Can I talk to you for a
minute in private, please?

I'm sorry, Bubbs, but
he's with us right now, okay?

What's wrong?

I need to talk to you
in private, please.

I'll see you
guys in there.

Really?
Just start without me.

- I'll just be a minute.

What's going on, bud?

I gotta ask
you a question

and I need you to be f*cking
straight up with me.

All right. What?

I don't want any bullshit.
Okay.

And I don't want you
candy-coating it.

I won't candy-coat
anything.

Am I a nerd?

No. Definitely not. Why?

Well, these f*cking little
punks were calling me names,

and called me a nerd,
and bullying me,

and I started
thinking, f*ck,

maybe I am a nerd and
I don't even know it.

Bubbs, f*ck those guys.

You're one of the coolest
people I know, man.

Are you kidding me?

f*ck, you can fix things,
you can play the guitar.

The girls are always talking
about how f*cking cool you are.

Really?
Yes!

Julian, time's up.

We're naked!

Look, man. Stop thinking
like an idiot.

Just watch the place for
, minutes for me?

? Half hour?

Sure, Julian. If you get
tired and you need me to...

tap in, just
give me the nod.

I can get her going
like a sewing machine.

What, you want to have an orgy
with me and my girls now?

I'm just saying, if you
need me in there, I can...

get her going about
miles an hour

and I'm not a nerd,
I'm not afraid of orgies.

Oh, well!

If it isn't the little
Pecker-f*ck Twins!

And what mystery are
you two friggety fuckers

trying to solve today?

Well, I guess that would be the
case of the, uh, missing lot fees.

Yeah, nice. You owe
us bucks, dude.

Oh, don't have it.

How about a couple
of hand jobs?

Wow, uh, we appreciate
the offer, Marguerite,

but Randy made it
pretty clear

we're supposed to collect
actual money from people.

Listen, boys.

I've learned at my age that
there's not much in this world

that you can't suck
or jerk your way out of.

So what will it be?

Hand job,
or little mouth hugs?

Come on,
let's get it on.

Yeah, we need to
talk for a second.

Stay right there.
Don't... move. sh*t.

Dude, I'm... I'm down.
If you're down.

I'll do it for
the bargain sh*t.

You know... I'm
getting married, man,

but, if you're down, you
should go for it, dude.

It's not that I'm down, it's just,
like, taking one for the team, dude.

I'm going. Yeah, man.
Okay, wait out here.

Hold this.
Back in a second.

Okay, I'm good.
Let's... Let's do it.

Ow!

Oh, f*ck! Dude!

She f*cking tried to shank
me with nail clippers!

f*ck, man!
f*ck!

Get the f*ck off
my property,

you scurvy little
piss-arses!

Ricky, there's easier
ways to do this.

f*ck!

Well, if you've got some f*cking
ideas, I'd like to hear them.

You're good at this sh*t.
Get goodin' at it.

What the f*ck's wrong
with you today, anyway?

I'm just a little
bit freaked out.

Some kids down at the store
were calling me a nerd earlier.

Can you f*cking
believe that?

Yeah, a little bit,
I guess.

What do you mean?

Well, you do kind of look like a nerd.
I mean, you're not a nerd,

you're a f*cking cool guy,
but you look like...

one of those guys from, "Avengers
of the Nerds" or whatever.

I look like a nerd?

Yeah, but you're not one.
You lust look like one.

You know, Ricky, if I look
like one, then I am one.

That's how it works.
No, it's not.

Look at f*cking Donnie.
He looks like a hornse.

He's not a
f*cking hornse.

Ricky, if you look like a nerd,
that's what makes you a nerd.

That's the only thing required.
So I'm a f*cking nerd!

You're not a f*cking nerd, Bubbles.
That's not what I'm saying.

You look a bit
like a nerd.

You're definitely not a f*cking nerd.
You're a good guy.

Well, that's
awesome, Ricky.

Thanks a lot, bud.
'Preciate that.

Right on, Bubbs.

I was being sarcastic!

What does that mean?

Unbelievable!

Unbelievable! I'm a f*cking nerd!
You're not a f*cking nerd!

You can't judge a cover
of a book by its look!

That's what I'm saying.
You're not a f*cking nerd!

Yeah. Thanks.

f*cking Jesus Christ!

What the heck's
going on here?

Oh, Jim! Jim!

This is such a great little
place that you have here!

Thanks for
letting us stay, fuckface.

I didn't! Barb...

you guys have got seconds
to get off my property!

Oh, come on, Jim!

It's only for days
until the court case!

Barb, I told you I didn't
want to get involved in this.

And I told you

that I wasn't going to
take no for an answer.

Oh, my God, look at this,
it's chicken!

Oh, my favourite.
Look, look, look...

That's my f*cking
chicken! Barbara!

Leave my f*cking chicken alone!
f*cking make me, little man.

Look what are watching
tonight: "Dances With Wolves"!

Good.

Give me that f*cking... Oh, I
just love his tight little pants!

f*ck off!

Give me my f*cking chicken!
f*ck you! f*ck...

Give me my f*cking chicken!
Get off, get off...

Barb, you... you can get
the f*ck out of here!

You get the f*ck out of here! This is
my f*cking place! I worked hard for...

Not any more, buddy!
f*ck off!

You little...
f*ck off!

f*ck off!

Ricky.

Ricky, get over here.

What the f*ck
do you want?

I'm here under the strict
authority of Julian

to come and collect lot fees.
Oh, yeah? Okay.

Yeah. It says you owe two months.
I want it in cash right now.

No problem. I've got
lots of cash on me.

f*ck... oh, yeah, that's right.
I forgot about down here.

You put cash down
your underwear?

Yeah. It's the best
place to put it.

Frig off!

Two f*cking months lot fees right there!
That's bullshit!

Yeah? You want the lot fees?
Suck them

out of the tip of my cock.
How about that?

Would you frig off, Ricky!
Don't f*cking touch me!

I've f*cking had it with this sh*t!
Oh, you want to go?

Yeah, I'm going to go! I'm going right now.
I'd love to f*cking go!

Boys! Would you
guys break it up!

Randy, let go of him!
Ricky!

Smarten the f*ck up, guys!
That's enough!

Julian, I came here
to collect lot fees

and Ricky rubbed
his bag sweat

all over my face and in my mouth,
and asked me for oral sex!

I did not f*cking
ask you for oral sex.

I said if you want lot fees, you can
suck them out of the tip of my cock.

There's a
big difference.

I want the frigging
money, Ricky!

Well, what are you
going to do about it?

'Cause the only money I have
is still right there! See?

Will you guys stop that?
Jesus, Ricky!

He didn't mean collect them
from me, you f*cking dummy!

Well, I kind of did, Rick.
What are you talking about?

We need money! The only money
I have is the wedding money.

f*cking everything else
is tied up in inventory.

Give me the money, Ricky.
Pull up your f*cking pants...

I want the money.

Pull up your pants and go and
collect from someone else.

This is horse
cock, Julian!

Your mother
sucks horse cocks.

Randy!

Boys!

That's enough!
Frig off, Ricky!

Pull up those f*cking pants.
I need my clipboard.

That's it!

Guys!

Jesus Christ...
Ricky! Why?

See, Julian?
Why?

This is the sh*t
I deal with!

This isn't over, Ricky.
Yeah? We'll see about that.


Collecting
lot fees sucks!

Do some f*cking work.

Jesus.

All right, so you want to do jobs then?
I can't.

I've got a f*cking family to
think about, I told you that.

Well, have fun packing
up your entire family

when we lose
the park, bud.

Thank f*ck I've just got to
worry about myself, man.

Hey, you know what
we going to do?

Tomorrow we're going
to go to the park,

set up a scrilla bucket,
and spit like old times!

On the ones,
the twos, eer-a what.

Nah. I've got a big
test coming up.

Math ain't f*cking
around this term.

N'aight.
Well, I'll be inside

watching TV with Marshie,
know what I'm sayin'?

Holla at me you if
you want... What, dawg?

When are you gonna
forget that ho?

I know it's changed,
you know what I'm sayin'?

I know thangs is different
right now, you nah'mean?

Pound a taquito, dawg,
and relax.

Take your time.

And get at me when
you want to spit, hah?

I'm sorry, Luce.

I-I just can't
right now.

Well, is it the neck brace?
I can take it off.

No, you look hot as f*ck.
It's just...

I need to talk to you
about something.

Okay, what?

Well, suppose there was this
really awesome family of bears

that lived in
the Sunnywoods.

And everything was going
really f*cking good, and...

the daddy bear just didn't
want it to get f*cked up.

But one day, this...

muscle moose, a friend
of the daddy bear,

came and said he needed
to borrow some money.

Daddy bear didn't really have
any money, so the moose said,

"Well, can we do a job?",
and the daddy bear was, like,

"Well, I don't want that
to f*ck my family up."

And the moose said,
"Well, if you don't,

your family's going to have to
move out of the Sunnywoods."

Well, why would they have to
move out of the Sunnywoods?

Because there's
this f*cking butchy,

bitchy beaver that
used to own the woods,

that might be coming back and
taking the woods back over

unless the bear and the
moose can hire a lawyer

to stop the butchy
beaver from doing that.

In order to do that,

they might have to do
a job... you know.

And then the daddy bear's
just sort of worried

about what the mommy bear
would think of the daddy bear

if he does do the job
with the muscle moose.

And this other friend...

he was an owl actually.

The daddy bear just doesn't want
to f*ck things up with his family

of bears right now and...

he's just worried what the mommy
bear might think, I guess.

I think that the mommy
bear would probably be...

fine with it,

and think that the
daddy bear was, like,

the sweetest bear in the world.
Really?

Yeah, as long as there
were a couple of...

a few conditions
were stuck to, sure.

And what would
the conditions be?

Well, the first
one would be

that the daddy bear
would have to promise

to bang mommy bear
really, really hard

and put a baby bear
inside of her.

I think the daddy bear
could probably do that.

Yeah, you think he would?

What would be
the other one?

Well, we can talk...

We can talk about this
later, if you want to.

Well, let's go into the bear
den and see what happens.

All right,
let's go into that.

The dirty bear den.

This is un-f*cking-
believable!

Hey, Julian.
How'd you make out?

Horribly. I haven't
collected any lot fees.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

People are being dicks!
Especially Marguerite.

She stabbed Cory with
a pair of nail clippers!

Oh, well, he deserved it too,
the little pecker flea.

All right,
everybody listen up!

There's going to be no
more credit for drinks!

Cash only.
If you owe me money,

pay me now or you're
not getting served...

Who the f*ck comes
to a bar without money?

Jesus.
Yo, yo, Julian.

So you're telling me that we have
to pay, and we have to work?

Yes, you've got to
pay for your drinks.

Well, you never paid us
yet, so what's going on?

You're still not going to get
free f*cking drinks! Oh, f*ck.

Come on, Roc Pile,
we the f*ck out of here.

Thanks, guys.

Wait, baby,

are you saying
you have no money?

Well, I've got to figure
this sh*t out, it's...

Ooh, yeah, that's...
Ooh...

That's not going
to work for us.

See you later. What, you're
breaking up with me?

Yeah.

Love ya!
Miss ya!

And how the f*ck

am I supposed
to pay lot fees

if you cut off credit and
everybody stops drinking here?

How the f*ck am I
going to pay wages

when you're giving away all the
drinks for free, Marguerite?

f*ck you, Julia!
f*ck you!

Tightwad!

No more credit ever again!

What in the f*ck?

Thanks a lot, Sunnyvale! Just
trying to save the park here.

Thought someone might want
to f*cking help me out!

Oh, yeah? Well,

I thought you might
suck my cock!

f*ck you, Donnie!

Oh, f*ck you,
muscles!

Hey, Bubbs. You in here, man?
I want to talk to...

What the f*ck
are you doing?

Just combing
my hair, Ricky.

You look Leo DiCaprinardo,
man, in that movie he did.

f*cking
"Nightmare on Wolf Street".

Look at your hair!

That was a f*cking
good movie.

He was cool in that movie.
Holy f*ck, thank God.

Can I have some of
those f*cking things?

Ricky...

Ricky!

Just be cool...

Jesus, Ricky, be cool!

Your ladder's not
very strong, Bubbs.

Well, it is,

if you use it like a f*cking
regular human would.

f*cking starving.

Listen, man.

I know I said it
was f*cked earlier.

I know you're going
to think it's f*cked,

but there's a lot of
sh*t going on right now

and I'm pretty f*cking
stressed out, and...

Maybe we should do
some jobs with Julian.

Let's do it.
What?

Let's do it. I'm in.
Totally f*cking in.

Really?

I'm cool, could
do anything cool.

Cooler than cool, I am.

Cool.

I don't know how this
whole f*cking tab thing

got so f*cked up.

$ in this one pad alone.

Two to go.

I guarantee you this is never
going to f*cking happen again!

Hoolian! I'm
so happy to see your face.

I would like to
introduce to your face,

my wife Marsha.
Hola, Julian.

She's so beautiful. We
would like some margaritas

for the senoritas, please,
so we can celebrate.

J, what the f*ck are
you talking like that?

Julian, such a kidd-ors.

We would like some drinks. Yeah?

Well, I'd like
some money.

W...

what happened to credit
between friends?

We're going through
a bit of a tough time.

Yeah, you take the good.

You take the bad.

You take them both, OK?

Look, I don't mean to
be a d*ck here, right?

But you got no cash-o,
you get no drink-os.

So you may as well
get the f*ck out-o.

Julian!

I feel like you punch
me in the feelings.

You will not disrespect my
beautiful wife to her face.

Marsha, would you excuse
me for a moment, please?

Daddy has some work.

okay?

Ain't that
some sh*t, dawg? Yeah, man.

Met that shorty
down in Mexico.

She feelin' me too.
Good for you.

Man, she thinks
he's Spanish, dawg.

Well, at first she was
like, "I ain't down

with black, hard
mah-fuckas like you"

and I was, like,
"Aight then,

what if I brown it
down right quick?"

That's why I talk... ...like this.

Sayin'? But she can't even
understand English? J-Roc...

Kinda. She knows some.

I mean, she's in the SSSL.

SSSL? What the
f*ck is that?

Seventies Sitcoms as
a Second Language, dawg.

Hey, check this
out, dawg.

They used to watch, like,
"Emergency" and some sh*t

on a tiny TV, like a -inch,
you know what I'm sayin'?

Trini-trizzle.
J-Roc, J-Roc...

I've had a very,
very bad day, okay?

So, if you don't
have any cash,

you can't get any drinks.

So get the f*ck out.

Hey, Randy!

Hey, Randers!

Mr. Lahey?

What's going on, Mr.
Lahey? Hi, bud.

Wow!

I like your new look.

Thanks a lot.
What are you doing here?

Listen, I need
your help.

Oh, I might be able to help you.
What's going on?

Barb and this
great big lady

and that thing that you were
going out with last year,

they... f*cking came in

and just took
over my trailer!

I need your help
getting them out.

I don't know if I could
do that, Mr. Lahey.

Randy, what are you
going to do in days

when Barb fires you, huh?

Julian won't
let that happen.

J... What's Julian...

Wait a sec. Don't tell me. f*cking know!

I don't want anything to do with
anything around here, Randy!

I just need your
f*cking help, bud!

Please. I'm not
frigging helping,

I'm staying out
of this, Mr. Lahey,

and I'm tired of dealing
with you when you're drunk.

I can smell the liquor
on your breath. Randy!

I'm not drunk, Randy!
What?

Look, watch this.

Wow...

You're pacing yourself?

I'm right in
the pocket, bud.

Will you help me?

I'm sorry, Mr. Lahey. I
mean, I don't think I can.

Last time we said we were
going to take a break

and work on ourselves...
Randy!

Mr. Lahey, I'm not going to do it.
Randy!

Handle it yourself.

That's all right.

I'm used to being alone, bud.

Good luck to you.

Good luck to the new super
f*cking trailer park supervisor!

Wishing I had a drink,
you know what I'm sayin'?

Why are you so f*cking
irritating all the time?

What, f*cking Lenny and Squiggy
bothering you too, dawg?

Or just us?

What the f*ck did you
say to me, J-Roc? Huh?

Bubbs... Bubbs... What
the f*ck did you say?

Bubbs...

Calm down, man.

Pump the brakes,
Brylcreem.

Don't gotta act so...
You pump the brakes there,

f*ckin'
Crest Whitestrips!

Let's go, Julian.
We're doing some jobs.

What? Ricky: That's right?
We're f*cking in.

No f*cking way!

We're f*cking in too,
then, you nah'mean?

Yeah, we want in.
We're down with jobs.

Pour some liquor. We need
to make some scrilla.

Pour some liquor.
You got any money?

Put it on my tab!

- All right.
- drinks.

Doubles.

Doubles.
Even better.

Well, just take it easy now.

f*ck! f*ck! f*ck off! f*ck!...

f*ck off! Jesus Christ!

f*ck.

f*ck off.
Post Reply