10x09 - Thugged Out Gangsta sh*t

[bunniefuu]

I can't believe you're mad

that I don't want greasy
things involving you

and some Hollywood film dummy to
happen to our bed! Okay, I'm not mad.

It just would have been a lot more
convenient for me to bang him here.

If you're not going
to be enjoying it,

an you're going to be thinking
about me the whole time,

why are you getting
all fancied up

like you're going
to the f*cking bars?

What I look like has got nothing
to do with it. He paid $ , .

The least I can do is
chuck on some lipstick.

I don't know, Lucy.
I know we said

this would be best for our
family, best for baby Moe,

but... I don't know
if this is a good idea.

You've got to make
a decision.

First I was going to bang him,
then I wasn't going to bang him.

It was like picking
f*cking petals off a daisy.

We made this decision
together. It's the deal.

I know. I'm sorry.
It's just...

When I think about
him banging you

and you looking at him with
that look you get in your eye.

I don't know.
It's f*cking me up.

Listen...

Rick, that look
that I get?

That's for you.

Like, I have
feelings for you.

I don't have
feelings for Tom.

So no matter
how big he is

or how many times
he bangs me

or how hard
or whatever...

That look is
only for you.

Right?

That's all I really
needed to hear.

Sorry I'm being stupid.

I love you so much.

Love you too.

I hope he's not
bigger than me.

'Kay?
Good luck.

Are you ready, James?

What's going on?

It's time.

Where am I?

Look at me.
What?

Look at me.
What?

You're going
to be fine.

It's just the opium
kicking in.

It's time to execute
the mission as planned.

Let's go.

Heh. Looky here,
old Benson.

A lil' tool head,

behind the tool shed.

Tom.
Yeah.

I want you to f*ck
the dog-sh*t out of her.

Okay.
Doggy style.

You got it. And be
ready by o'clock.

Okay. o'clock
I'll be ready

and I'll think
about you.

You better be.
Okay.

Bubbles, what's up, baby?

Hey, Snoop,
how you doing?

I'm good, man.
Hit that sh*t one time.

I'm still pretty
pumped up from yesterday.

Man, you k*lled
that sh*t, baby.

Listen...

You think
you guys could stay

one more day maybe?

Tsss... Unfortunately
I can't, dawg.

Not even, like,
just one day?

It wouldn't,
you know, hurt.

I wish I could but
I got to get back to LA.

I got sh*t to do.

Oh... just...

You crying, dawg?

I'm not crying.
I'm just...

I'm going to miss
you guys, you know,

with all the dope
and the...

b*tches and whatnot.

You're the coolest guy
I ever met.

I just don't
want you to go.

Look here, man.

Just 'cause I'm leavin' don't
mean I can't come back.

I got a jet,
a whole bunch of money

and a trip back to Sunnyvale?
Psh, it ain't nathan.

Really? You promise you'll
come back and see me?

We family now, nephew.

I'm comin' back
to f*ck with you.

Matter of fact,
I got something for you.

Check it out.
Walk with me.

What is it?

Come on, man, just...

Close your eyes.

Now open
the m*therf*ckers.

Holy sweet flying piss cocks!

All for you, baby.
That's yours.

A -band graphic
legalizer,

dub bass expander,

Snoop tech, brought
to you by Yours Truly.

That's for me?
That's for you.

It's a ghetto blaster
for a ghetto m*therf*cker.

See, that's a ghetto blaster
for your m*therf*cking ass.

Oh my God, that's
the f*cking nicest thing

I've ever seen in my life!

I want you to enjoy
every minute of it.

I want you to
turn it up loud.

I want you to turn this m*therf*cking
trailer park inside out.

Oh my God.
Thanks, Snoop.

No, thank you, man, for
being a hell of a person.

Who's got your bizzle?
Ha ha ha!

Oh, come on, man!

That sh*t too much,
right there.

Come on, now,
stop with that.

I got Snoop's bizzle!

It's never been
more clear to me.

Julian and I cannot co-exist
in this world together!

If it looks clear
to you,

truly clear,

you would understand

that someone needs to die.

Die?

That's the only way any of us
are going to be truly free!

Okay!

Okay.

Let's go.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Let's go. I'll drive. Like hell.

Shotgun!
Shotgun!

Get it!

This how you crank
the lows right here.

That's that bass
for your face. Damn!

- Decent!
- Bubs!

Julian, check it out.

Holy f*ck...
Snoop gave it to me.

Now how much would something
like that be worth now?

You f*ck right off
with "what's it worth?"!

It's not
getting sold, ever!

So you're flying
out today, man?

Yeah, I got to
get out of here.

I got to go take care
of some business.

All right, okay, I went to
the lawyer's office, right?

He's going to make up
this partnership agreement.

It's like a letter
of intent

that you intend on
investing in Sunnyvale.

Just gotta sign
right there, man.

sh*t, you know I plan
on doing that, baby.

Right on.

Yes!
It's all official now.

Cheers, man. Right on.
Cool. Thank you.

This is going
to be good.

Yes sir.

All right. Oh...

Ah, yeah, I just want
to ask you about...

Got any, like,
start-up capital?

To get things going.

How much?

Five grand.

For real?

Yeah. Why?
Is that too much?

Pssh, I thought you was going to
ask for some real money, man.

Five G's ain't sh*t to a pimp.
Hold on one second.

What about seven?
Is that too much?

I owe Ricky money.
He's kind of...

f*cking whining
about it, right?

You know what?
Take ten.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Right on!
Cheers, man.

- Yeah!
- Snoop!

I've finally perfectioned
-hour De-Energy, man.

I've got some
weird sh*t going on.

I want to get f*cked out of
my mind today, me and you!

Let's get it.

My f*cking brain just keeps
repeat-ling everything.

I've f*cking got
to shut it down.

Heh, heh, heh.

What? You still
mad at me?

What the f*ck
do you think?

Look, man. Rick.

You and Lucy f*cking figure
this out yourselves, okay.

I had nothing
to do with it.

It was all f*cking Sarah.

All right?
It cancels itself out.

What cancels out?

It cancels out, man.

Is that how
that works, Bubs?

Well, technically, Ricky,

you know, with
the reversal of...

things and
you know... Yeah...

Look, here, brah.

, bucks.

, bucks?

I threw bucks
interest in there too.

Right, we cool?

Right on!
Awesome, man!

Okay, Bubs,
we've got to go.

I don't want that sh*t,
man, I'm too busy.

I can't take that, Ricky.
I'll sh*t myself.

It's me and you.

Ready to get smiley?

Let's get it, baby.

- Ugh!
- Yeah!

This is so great, Lucy.
I can't believe it!

So greasy. I mean...

Rick and I banged in the
bathroom here, like, once.

I don't know how this is the
full Sunnyvale experience

that you keep talking
about, but...

Oh, no, no, no! I don't
want to bang you in here.

I just thought
we'd stop by for...

What does Ricky
call them?

Sweet and power
chicken balls, you know?

The good kind.
Eight bucks.

Chicken fingers

is what they're called.

Listen, can we just
please just go somewhere

and get this over with?

Oh my God!
That's so great!

You're nagging me
like you nag Ricky!

Oh, this is so real!
I love it! Let's go!

Hey, it's the
d*ck sh*t!

Hey, what's up,
you fucker?

Hey, man.

Here, have some.

No, I'm good.

Buh, buh, buh,
buh, buh!

What are you?

Some kind of... p*ssy?

Huh?
What? Pu...

I'm not a f*cking p*ssy!

Puss puss puss
puss puss puss puss!

Oh, this is what you do, is it?
Yeah!

Give me... here!
p*ssy...

There you go.

Well, I've got
the five grand.

Ooh, five grand! Five grand!
Oh my God...

This could quite
possibly do the trick!

Possibly?

What the f*ck do
you mean, possibly?

It's not
an exact science

but I do know we have
Judge Reynolds today!

Which could be a very
good thing for us, yeah?

What's Judge
Reynolds' story?

Oh, he's an old party slut from
back in the ' s, you know?

He never lost his penchant for
hookers with big floppy tits

and the old happy
dust, but who hasn't?

Yeah, five grand could buy
a hell of a good weekend

for that wrinkly
old prick!

Right on!
Well, good luck.

Just get a hold of
us when you're done.

Buh, buh, buh...
No, no, what?

You still have to go
to the courthouse.

What? Yeah! Why?

Look, I'm bribing
a judge here. Okay?

I'm not buying you safe
passage out of Bangkok.

You have to pretend
it's a real court case.

I'm not going
to f*cking court!

Have to.

Well, I don't, You...
No, no, no!

You do have to go.
If I'm doing this,

you're going to
court with me.

Damn straight!
Now, listen.

I'm going down
to the courthouse

to meet up
with Reynolds.

So I'll meet you
wad-gobblers inside.

Yes? Ins...

Buh, buh, buh, buh...
Give me that.

Wish me luck!
See you down there!

Good luck.

Now I'm f*cking baked!

You'll be okay.

Where the f*ck
is Steinberg?

Maybe he's out back
blowing rails

off hookers' tits
with Judge Reynolds.

Smarten up, man!

That could
be good for us.

Julian, I'm baked out
of my g*dd*mn mind.

No sh*t.

Oh, I'm in that mood. I
feel like f*cking around...

Keep it together!

Can't stop myself!

And don't forget to have your
pets spayed and neutered.

I'm Bob Barker,
everybody!

Smarten up!

Please rise!

Court is now in session.

Okay, Jeffrey Dahmer.

Shut up, Bubbs!

The Honourable Judge
Priscilla Hood presiding.

The f*ck is he talking about?

That's not Judge Reynolds.

Jesus Christ!

Please be seated.

My God...

All right, now.

In the matter of Barbara Lahey
vs. GFY Investments.

Ah, excuse me, Your Honour.

Our lawyer's not here
yet. So could we...

I'm very well aware
your lawyer is not here.

Your lawyer is currently
on his way to jail

for trying to bribe a judge
in front of a security camera.

What?

Oh, let me guess.

You didn't know that
your lawyer offered $ ,

to Judge Reynolds
to sway his decision?

Three?

So I will proceed.

Unless you have any other greasy
options you'd care to pursue.

Uh, no, we're good.

I can't believe we're here!
It's nice.

Well I didn't want it to be too
nice, because of the effect.

You hear that?

Oh my gosh, we're in the right place.
You can't write that.

There you go, my lady.
Ugh.

No cameras
in here. Sorry.

Crazy!

I can't believe
that greasy f*ck

tried to skim two grand
off the f*cking bribe!

Well, I don't think the fact
that your greasy f*cking lawyer

tried to keep a couple of
thousand bucks for himself

is really the issue here.

What the f*ck are we
going to do?

I don't know!

But Snoop can't find
out about this, man.

We've got to get him
the f*ck out of the park

so that we can figure
this sh*t out.

Maybe you should just
tell him the truth, Julian.

Do you ever
f*cking think that?

The truth is f*cked, Bubs!

If he finds out
we don't own the park,

he's not going to give
us any more money.

You're going to try to grease
more money out of Snoop Dogg?

Bubs, we're f*cked!
Do you understand?

The park is gone.

Snoop's our only hope for
f*cking Freedom , man.

Well, I just don't like f*cking
over my friends, okay?

♪ Snoop Doggy Do-o-o-gg ♪

I am way more
f*cked up

than I probably
should be, man!

Holy f*ck,
it's awesome but...

we're going to feel like
this for , hours.

What the f*ck are you
talking about, Rick?

Well, how many
did we do?

How many hours is
this going to be?

What, you think
the more we drink,

the more we're going
to be f*cking stoned

for even more hours?
What? What the f*ck?

But that's the way
it should work.

It just adds hours on
but it doesn't feel it.

It just feels like it's f*cking
me up even more the more we do.

Yeah, it's f*cking you up
five times as much more,

man, you f*ck!

We need to roll up one and smoke
some to level this sh*t off.

Oh, yeah! Good idea.

Yeah. I should get some hash.
Oh!

No, you need to sit
down somewhere, man.

Don't stand up.
Recline, you hear me?

I'm not going to try that.

Okay, I've got to get
back over here.

I'mma blow one
for the po' one.

There you go. You surfboard
now, ride that sh*t.

There you go, Rick.

Surfboard on they
m*therf*cking ass.

Oh, yeah...

Got my mind on my money,

and my money on my mind. Randy!

Where the f*ck is he?

I can just open the gate.

What the f*ck
were you doing?

Obviously not your
g*dd*mn f*cking job!

Sorry, Julian.
I can't exactly control

when I need to have
a bowel movement.

Do what you're supposed
to do or you're fired!

Well, go ahead,
fire me, then!

Do you want me to
f*cking fire you, huh?

Huh?

Just...

Ricky, what
are you doing?

It's like the Luke Skytalker's
thing that just...

It hovers, man.

Oh, my God. You didn't
drink all of those?

Snoop drank most
of them, man.

I dropped one or two,
maybe three.

Oh, my God,
Ricky, get up!

I'm fine.

I think seven
is too much.

Much too much.

But, hey, I love it.

f*cked up, baby.

Seven of them. One of these could
take down a f*cking horse.

sh*t.

So, Snoop, what time
you guys rolling out?

We supposed to be dipping out
as soon as Tom finishes...

taking his d*ck in.
No offence.

None taken.

My nipples, boys, they feeling
like diamond f*cking erasers.

It's all I can
feel right now.

I'm f*cked up too, Rick. I might
have to stay... extra day or two.

Yeah, ha ha!

Yeah, that'd be awesome
if you stayed! Yeah.

Stay, man?
I don't know, man.

We got the f*cking
fog rolling in.

Fog?
Yeah, Nova Scotia fog.

When it rolls in, man,
it fucks everything up.

Shuts down the airports.
You'll be here for days.

I'd love to have you,
man, but I don't know

if you want to be stuck
here for a few more days.

Hello?
TNA, m*therf*cker.

Change of plans.

We got to roll out.

They got some Nova Scotia
fog bullshit

I'm not trying
to get caught up in.

Yeah, hit me back,
quick and fast.

Bubbs, rub it.

Just rub it.
It's f*cking awesome.

Bubs, don't rub
his nipples, man.

- Hello?
- f*ck off, Ricky.

Doug?

Yeah, holla at me.

Yeah, just come,
pick me up on the way out.

There's going to be one more
person in the jet, though.

JROC's heart it's true,
he's a pal and a confidant.

And I will always thank him
for being a friend.

But Doug Benson, he lives in a
deluxe apartment in the sky.

So, I mean it's Hollywood.

Ready to go
to Hollywood?

¡Sí, sí!

Ha ha ha!

Eh...

¡Vámonos!

I used to think that being
trailer park supervisor

was all I ever really wanted

but I just don't know.

Things were just
so much simpler

when I was the assistant
trailer park supervisor

and Mr. Lahey was...

What the frig?

f*ck you, Randy!
Friggin' b*tches!

sh*t, it's time to go.
Let's roll, ladies.

Julian, isn't there something
you want to tell Snoop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

Yeah, man,
we should, uh,

we should talk about
the rest of the money

you're going
to invest, right?

You know? And when
you can get it to us.

Because I'm thinking about
the big picture here, man.

Like, I'm thinking
about maybe taking the money

and build a brand new
trailer park.

You know, a bigger one,
a better one.

Brand new trailer park?
For what?

You've got the best m*therf*cking
trailer park in the world right here.

This is trailer
park heaven, baby.

Jesus Christ!

Hey, Julian!

Mmm, nice
tits, Barb.

Oooh.

Those tits
are mine, baby.

Mm, mm, mm!

Sorry, Julian.
It's not my fault.

They broke through
the gate.

You're lucky I didn't break
through you, fucknut.

You're fired.
Fired?

Yeah, you're f*cking fired.
You're useless.

That's perfect! That's just one
less thing that I have to do.

Gentlemen,
as required by law,

I hereby give you days
to pack up all your sh*t

and get it the f*ck
out of my trailer park.

Her park? What the f*ck? What's happening?
Yeah, man...

I didn't want to say anything because I
thought I could keep sh*t under control.

I tried to bribe
a judge this morning, man,

and it didn't work out.

So you had me invest in a trailer
park that you don't even own?

And you tried to bribe
a f*cking judge?

Yeah, man,
I'm sorry.

Sorry! Now that's some thugged out
gangsta sh*t and I fucks with it.

Snoop, so you know,
I had nothing to do with it.

I wanted him
to tell you the truth.

He wouldn't
listen to me.

Look, let me tell
you something.

When I said I wanted to invest in the
park, I meant you. All of y'all.

sh*t, I could buy m*therf*cking
trailer parks and call them Sunnyvale.

But it don't matter.
It's about the people.

Like it or not, you
m*therf*ckers is family

and I consider
y'all my family.

So once you all get this
bullshit fiasco together,

y'all give me
a holler. I'm in.

Bubs, let me
holler at you.

Make sure you take care of this sh*t
and you get back with me. A'ight?

Give me some.
Okay.

Yeah! Till
we meet again.

All right. See you.

Barb, look,
you can't do this.

You can't do this. Please.
Please don't evict us.

You know what? I can,

and I am.

Look, Barb...
You know what, Julian?

It feels really great to be the
one that's doing the f*cking.

Aah! I'm so f*cked!

f*ck is that?

f*ck, he's coming in hot.

I love you, Julian!

Holy f*ck! He tried to k*ll us!

Jim, what the hell
are you doing?

Lahey, what the f*ck
are you doing?

I've come to blow the
f*cking place up, Julian!

Kama Sutra, bud!

f*ck! It's covered
in gas! Smell it!

Oh, my God!

Why do you guys get so banged
up when you get on the liquor?

Listen, man...

No, you f*cking
listen, Julian!

You f*cking listen
to me for once, bud!

Jim, calm
the f*ck down.

I am calm
the f*ck down, Julian.

I'm compete-ly at piss.

Because one of us has to
go for good, bud. Oh, God.

The f*ck are you
talking about?

I was out.

It took everything
in my soul,

everything I had
in my f*cking soul, to leave.

And you pulled me
back again, Julian.

I didn't pull
you back in!

Julian, you pulled
me back in.

Mr. Lahey! Mr. Lahey!

I've been living a lie,
saying that I don't need you.

But I do. And you need me, Mr.
Lahey. Yeah?

We need to be together,
like Batman and Robin,

the original one from the s.
Randy!

So what do you say, Mr. Lahey?
Can we be together forever?

I'd like that, bud.

It's going to be all right.
Give me the g*n, Jim.

- Frig off!
- Put the g*n down!

f*ck! Jesus, Leslie!

Oh, oh! Oh, God!

Oh, my God! Ricky's hit!

Ricky! Ricky!

Somebody call
the f*cking ambulance!

Somebody call a
f*cking ambulance!

Rick!

Would you f*ck off
with the f*cking camera!

Whoa.

Tom,

thinking about it
was one thing but,

now that we're actually here,

I don't think I can
bang you. I'm sorry, I just...

Lucy, I was never
going to bang you.

I mean, not that
you're not smokin' hot

and I'd love to do dirty,
dirty things to you

but I'm kind of
happily married.

And just the fact
that you would even

say you would bang me...

Oh my God, that's
such an honour!

And that's enough for me.

f*ck. All right,
that's a relief.

No offence but, like...
No.

There is one thing that I'm
going to ask you to do for me.

All right, well...

Nothing greasy!
Oh.

Look. Take that.

I want Trinity to have the
most amazing wedding ever.

You know, a person's
first wedding,

that's an important one.

I... I can't take this.

Like, I haven't
done anything.

Are you kidding me?
I'm dressed like Ricky,

I've been driving that shitbox
car all over the place,

I got to know
Bubbles and Julian

and I'm in a crappy motel

talking about banging
Lucy, with Lucy!

Oh, my gosh, this has
been the best ever!

Just... don't tell
Ricky that I'm a softie.

Awww... okay!
Okay? Okay.

Okay, now I'm becoming a hardie.
All right!

Okay, I'm sorry.
The track pants

and the mallet, it's hard
to hide it, you know.

All right. Well...

Listen, do you think I'll see
you guys again some day?

I mean, that
would be nice, right?

That would be
nice, right? Oh!

Thank you.

You know, hypothetical.

If you'd have met me
before you met Ricky,

do you think that
there's any chance

that you and I would've...

Lucy, you've got to
stop what you're doing!

Luce!

Yeah? What the f*ck
do you want?

Lucy, you've got
to come with me.

Okay, I've... got to go.

Go ahead.
I'm going to stay. I...

I paid for the room...

Going to stay here,
and jerk off.

I can't f*cking believe this.

I can't believe it.

I should have been
in there right on him.

I should have did something.
I could have saved him.

Bubs, there's nothing anybody
could have done, okay?

Folks.

Ricky is alive.

Oh, thank God. Okay.

But I'm afraid
it's not good news.

What?
What do you mean?

The b*llet fragment entered
the edge of the temporal lobe

but we're unable
to retrieve it.

I've never seen
anything like it.

He is breathing
on his own

but there's been no brain
activity since he came in.

He shouldn't be alive.
Oh, my God!

Just wait, Ricky's
brain's not very active

on the best of days.
Just so you know.

And he was really, really
high when he got hit.

Could that be
affecting it, maybe?

What do you mean,
no brain activity?

I mean none.
I'm very sorry.

My God.

What's a temporal lobe?

It's a very
important part, Cory.

Not a good time
to be stupid, bud.

f*ck! f*ck! f*ck off! f*ck!...

f*ck off! Jesus Christ!

f*ck.