11x01 - The Jack Your Cock Furry Whore Slut

[bunniefuu]

(Squirrel chattering)

Oh, my f*ck!
(Squirrel chattering)

f*ck you, you little
f*cking fur-faced fuckhead!

(g*nshots)
(Squirrel chattering)

I'm at f*cking w*r
with the squirrels.

People think they're dumb.
They're not.

The little f*ckers even know
how to masturbate.

I seen them do it,
and they f*cking do it a lot.

Check this out.

One of the ugly little
f*ckers chewed the wires
in my g*dd*mn bedroom wall

and this happened.
And Lucy blamed it on me.

I mean, I was partying
a little more than usual

and I did put a deep fryer
in the bedroom

and cooked pepperoni
and wings late at night
when I got hungry.

But I didn't start
the f*cking fire!

The cocksucking squirrel did.
And now she's gone!

All because you jacked
your cock furry
little whore sluts!

Anyway, I am going
to rebuild it.

I just haven't had
f*cking time yet.

Don't get me wrong,

I don't advocate the use
of a deep fryer in the bedroom

under any circumstances but...

I did a bit of post-fire
investigating on my own

and it appears
the little cocksucker

could have been responsible
for the fire.

But, I mean,
blasting up your yard...

that doesn't solve anything.

(g*nsh*t)
Ricky!
Shh!

What are you doing?
Put the f*cking g*n away!

Lahey said he would
set some traps!

There he is.
There he is...

He's not!
You're starting
to go crazy, Ricky!

(g*nsh*t)
(Squirrel chattering)

Ricky:
f*cking assh*le!

I f*cking had him!

(Whispering)
Ricky, there's Randy.

Put the f*cking g*n away.
Put it away!

Ricky!
Jesus Murphy!

You pointed it
right at my bird!

Hey, Rick. Little
buggers are at it
again, are they, bud?

Holster your
w*apon, Ricky!
Holster my tits, Randy!

Stand down, Randy.
I've got this.

Ricky, I know
how stressful

this kind of situation
can be, bud.

Listen to what he's
saying to me, I'm trying.

He's f*cking driving
me nuts. Listen to him!
(Squirrel chirps)

Ricky!
You think I'm dumb?

No, you're dumb!
You're about to get dead!

Doing nothing is not
proper procedure.

He's f*ring that
in every direction.

Someone could die!
Randy,

did I ask you to set
traps here last week?

Yeah.
And did you?

I've been too busy.
Really?

Disobeying an order,
is that proper
procedure?

The way I see it, all this
g*nf*re is because you
didn't do your job.

(Chirping continues)
Bubbles:
Ricky!

Set some traps.
Ricky!

You copy?

Okay, Mr.Lahey.
Good.

(Squirrel chirping)

Ricky, my kitties
are over there!

Ricky, your frigging
days are numbered.

As soon as
I get authority,
you're going down.

Never going to happen,
diarr-ena breath.

But speaking of going
down, and you were,

why don't you
go down on me?

Get it, Randy?
It means I want you
to blow me.

And you can f*ck off
while you're doing it!

Control him, Bubbles.

Control your
f*cking appetite,
Randy.

Oh, oh! You think
that's funny, eh?

He wants me
to jerk him off.

No, you get over here
and f*cking jerk me off,

you little furry fuckhead!
Ricky! Ricky!

(Theme music)

Bubbles:
Atta girl. There we go.

Oh, thanks for
doing that, Trin.

Sorry I f*cked up
the valve on the thing.

How's that going?
Good.

Choppity-chop!

Two more right there.

Ricky, where the
f*ck is Jacob? We're
going to be late.

Jacob's not the smartest
Kn*fe in the drawer, Bubs.

Who f*cking knows?

After Julian took off,

I knew I needed
to start running the show

or Ricky was going
to wind up back in jail.

So I started making
this stuff right here.

The best f*cking pizza sauce
you'll ever jam your lips on.

All f*cking organic.
Ricky's growing the vegetables,

you know, using
his expertise in that field,

and we've been cranking it out
down at the flea market

as fast as we can make it.

And it's a f*cking gold mine!

Cory!

For f*ck's sake!

What is that
right there, Cory?

That's sauce, dude.

No, it's f*cking money,
every drop of it.

Money. Get it
in the bottle!

I've been able to get myself
a nice little truck.

Me and Ricky both got
company cellphones, brand new,

which I'm awesome
at using, by the way.

Oh, this one.

And the best thing about it,

nothing f*cking illegal
going on, whatsoever.

This is probably the happiest
I've ever been in my life!

I mean, other than
missing Julian... terribly.

It f*cking sucks
that Lucy took off.

I mean, after I almost d*ed,

she gave me an alter-natum
to stop partying and I didn't.

And then Mr.Furry
Fuckbrains the squirrel

decides to burn my trailer
down and that was it.

But it's too bad she didn't
stick around a little longer.

Because for the first
time in my life

I actually have
my sh*t together.

Well actually, it might
even be the third time.

(Lighter clicking)
(Inhaling)

Sarah:
OK, I can't believe
that I'm saying this

but Ricky has come
full circle since Lucy left.

Actually it's kind of
since Julian left.

I think that was
a real wake-up call for him.

And it's one thing
to say that you're going
to break up with somebody

but Lucy left the country.

She got a job working
for Tom Arnold as a nanny

and she's making, like,
a thousand bucks a week.

At first it was
really hard but...

now I think some time
apart was really good
for Mom and Dad.

And the money that
she sends home for Mo

has been super-helpful.

Ricky and Bubbles have brought
a whole new energy to the park

with the new venture.

And since a lot
of the residents

are growing vegetables for them,

many of them are paying
their lot fees.

Hooray!

Look at those beauts!

Did you ever see
potatoes that
big, buddy?

Those are tomatoes, Ricky.
Same thing,

potato, tomato,
po-tah-to, to-mah-to.

Anyway, who cares?
I mean, we have this new
f*cking bloom nutrient

with that sh*t I got at
the hydroponics convention.

Look at this!
Jesus.

I wish I would have
f*cking known about it
when I was growing dope!

Jacob, where the
f*ck have you been?

We had to put up
flyers for Ricky's
ball hockey school.

You were supposed
to do that two days
ago, dicklips!

Dude, it was , flyers!
Do you know how long
that takes?

Obviously you're as dumb
as a f*cking bug that
lives in a tree,

quite a f*cking while!
Great.

Now we're going to get
a shitty f*cking table!

No, we're not.
We're going to get
a good table.

Positive thinking, Ricky.
Double belly work.
Look at this.

Look at this.
New label.

Oh, I like the
little Italy man,
that's cool.

Ricky, look close.

What?

It's me, Bubbles!

Why would I put
a stranger on there?

Well, you should've
made it bigger.

It's good, though.

Oh, f*ck, I should've too!

I fell off the wagon

a couple of months back,

and I popped
the question to Randy.

But I made myself a promise:

before we get married

I'm going to tell him the truth
about Ricky and me.

But, if I tell Randy,

then I'm going to have
to tell Ricky.

And I'm just not sure how
both of them will take it.

Randy: (On radio)
Mr. Lahey! I need
back-up immediately.

We have a in progress
at Donnie's. Over.

Randy, can't you handle
a by yourself? Over.

Of course I can, sir!

But I don't want this to
escalate into a . Over.

Oh, for sh*t's sake...
Okay, I'll be right there.

Ever since Randy's decided

to try to get into
the police academy

he's been taking this
job way too seriously.

Thank you.
Everybody slow it
the f*ck down.

If you don't calm down,
no f*cking sauce.

Ricky! Stop swearing
at the customers!
Jesus Christ!

They're driving me
f*cking nuts.

You, with that
f*cked sweater and
the weird glasses,

how many you want?

None.
Oh, my f*cking God!

What is your deal then?
Get the f*ck going!

Ricky!

Actually I want
to talk to you

about buying
the recipe.

The recipe?
Oh, the recipe...

that's not for sale, sir.

Just the sauce.
But thank you.

I own a bunch of
pizza restaurants and...

I love the sauce.

I was thinking...

Five grand?

Five grand?
Like , dollars?

Oh, my f*cking
God. Done!

Pack it up, Bubs!
We're f*cking retired,
buddy, let's go!

Just hang on, Ricky.

Just give us one second.

Ricky, we've got
to think about
this... hard.

This is a big decision.

It's five grand
for words and numbers.

It's not words
and numbers, though.

It's my special recipe.

Oh, my f*ck, I wasn't
ready for this.

We've got to think,

we've got to think
on our feet, right now.

Holy f*ck, what
would Julian do?

What would Julian do
in this situation?
Julian?

Julian would do something
dumb, like tell him

we're going to f*cking
keep making it and
supplying him with it.

But then we've got to keep
making the f*cking sauce.

That's it, Ricky!
That's it.

You've just
f*cking nabbed it!

Ummm, listen, the, uh,
recipe is not for sale

'cause I am very, you know,

obsessed with the
quality and consistency
of my product

but... what if
I was to supply you?

You know, wholesale prices.
I supply your chain...

Maybe?

I think we can
make this work.

(Whispering)
My God...

Okay, yeah. That's, um...

Cool. Everything's cool.
Call me.

We'll lock down
quantities and pricing.

Okay! Thank you,
I'll be in touch.

(Whispering)
Holy f*ck!

Ricky!

Ricky, do you know what
just happened here?

You don't think
we're not dumb for
not taking the grand?

No, Ricky. This is
next level sh*t.

I could be next
Chef Boyardee!

This is a good idea!

Was it my idea
or was it Julian's?

No, it was Julian's idea
but you came up with it!

Cool!
(Giggling)

Oh, way to go, Randy...

How to make a mountain
out off a sh*t-molehill.

(Dog barking)

Suspect is in custody, sir.

Let's get him in
the back of the car

and we'll take him
down to the station.

That's enough, Randy.

Mr. Lahey, we're
taking him downtown.

Randy, for
the love of God,

what the hell's
the matter with you?

Public intoxication!

Randy, it's Donnie!

Haul him up
on the porch,

throw his barbecue
cover over him.

Look, this has been
going on for years.

Why would we start
arresting him now?

Randy, look,
I know it's great
to have dreams, bud.

But... but this is
getting way out of hand.

This... stupid uniform.

And this, that's
even stupider.

It looks like a
coin-operated carnival
sh*t-car, Randy!

(Grunt)

There are way more
factors at play here

than you're
aware of, Sir.

And if I become
a real police officer,

I'm not standing for
any of this sh*t!

Randy, you have no idea
how difficult it is

to become an officer
of the law.

No idea at all!

First Ricky,
now Donnie.

Why are you so soft?

Why am I so soft?

Randy, I'm not
f*cking soft!

Look, Julian's
left the park.

Ricky's really easy
to get along with.
He's gone legit.

Why would we start
slinging sh*t-balls
at the sh*t-hive

when the shitty little
bees aren't stinging us?

Well, I'm trying
to get rid of the
frigging sh*t-hive

so we never get stung.

Back away, Mr. Lahey.
I'm backing up.

(Engine revving)

Holy f*ck, we're
going to party, Bubs!

I feel like driving
a Roman candle right up
my f*cking ass!

No, Ricky, you're not
doing that again.

It's too dangerous.
Every time you do it,

who gets stuck putting
the ointment on you? Me!

f*ck! This f*cking
puppy's still here!

Oh, they're lucky
that's not a kitty.

I would start f*cking
wrecking this place!

Who's the f*cking idiot
that owns this car?

You're going to cook
the little fucker inside!

Get the f*ck out here!
I'm going to break into it,

in five, four,
three, two, one...

f*ck you, then.

Hang on, little buddy.
I'll help you out.

Ricky, where did you
get a slim jim?

Always got one
on me, Bubs. You never
know when you need it.

There we go.

Here, hold that.

Come here.
Oh my God, are you okay?

Are you just taking him?
There. You're cool now.

Holy f*ck,
that's a good name.

What? "Coolnow"?

You can't name
a f*cking animal
Coolnow, Ricky.

I didn't.
What just happened did.

What are you
talking about?

Well, two seconds ago

he was overheating
in this assh*le's car!

But now, he's cool.
He's Coolnow.

It's f*cking perfect.

You are so f*cked, Ricky.

Anyway, the SPCA'll
give him a new name.

He'll be fine.

f*ck, I wonder if
Mo would like him.

Ricky, you're not taking
him back to the park.

I don't need a f*cking
long, skinny dog

f*cking with my kitties.

It's not happening.

Bubbles:
Thank you very much, Lonnie.

Thank you. Listen, everybody.

I just want to say I appreciate

all the congratulations
and everything
you're giving me

but I want
everybody to know:

this wasn't all me.
Ricky played a huge
part in all this.

And everybody here,
you know, everybody who
grew the ingredients.

And one of the reasons
we're here...

Well, Ricky,
maybe you should...

(Quietly)
say what you're going to say
before the liquor runs out.

Here, Cory.
Cory, let's go.
Get the f*ck out of the way.

Let's go!

Jesus, you're always
in the f*cking way, Cory.

Hey, everyone,
what the f*ck's going on?

(Mixed muttering)
Most of you probably know,

the reason why we're
eating and drinking
for f*cking free today

is 'cause we're about
to sign a huge contract
for the pizza sauce.

(Cheering, applause)

That means we need to grow
a f*ck-ton more vegetables.

So... I wonder
if there's anybody here

that wants to help us grow
some f*cking vegetables?

Yeah!
Aw, f*ck that, man.

You already b*rned
your own g*dd*mn trailer
to the ground! Look...

Yeah! f*ck that, man!
It's too risky.

And it's illegal!
It's not illegal!

You're only going
to be growing
vegetables, that's it.

f*cking idiot.
And it's not dangerous,
Marguerite. I promise.

I'll do all the
wiring on the tables
myself, you know.

I could do the wiring.

No, Ricky,
I'll do the wiring.

It's not a problem. Look...

I mean, we can get the
stuff growing anywhere

but that wasn't the point,
we wanted to keep it
in the park here,

you know, because..
'cause we're all like family.

That's right, Bubs.
I just need , people

to help me realize
a lifelong dream here.

So what do you say, please?

Did I mention
you're going to make
a sh*t-ton of cash?

I 'm in.
I'm in, too.

Right on!
All right!
(Laughter)

Oh, boys!

(Muffled hip hop music)

(Music)

Oh sh*t!
Hey, guys.

I need to buy
a cellphone.

One that's got
a stolen sim card
and sh**t in HD.

f*ck, man, I don't
know what you're
talking about.

All we do is fix phones
and screens and sh*t
up in this mah.

Since my man J-Roc
and his boy went on the road,

me and the Roc Pile
been holdin' sh*t down.

Killin' it too.

Check this out.

Here at Roc Pile Cellular

we sell cellphones,

wide open sim cards from China.

We do repairs on phones.
We do repairs on screens.

We re-program.
We jailbreak.

We do it all up
in this mah-fucka,

under this roof,
you know what I'm sayin'?

Tight too.
Just check my mens at work.

Orders is coming in
left, right and centre.

And check it out.
We even got the D Box!

A mobile hotbox you can rent

and get you as
high as you want.

But you got to hit me up
quick though, 'cause
the sh*t rents quick.

Man:
Holy f*ck, I'm high!

Come on,
give me a phone

or I'm calling
in the cops.

Listen, man,
you better back
the f*ck up.

You ain't got
sh*t on us.

I get it. The shirt.

Shirts can be
intimidating,
can't they?

Yeah? Well,
check this out, guys.

Look, it's
just me, Randy.

All right?
Tyrone:
Oh sh*t! It's...

♪ Gut-formers,
Randy's in disguise ♪

(Laughter)
Frig off, Tyrone.

What'd you blow
a hose or something?

It's all oily!

Get it? Because
he's a machine.

No. You blew that.

No, no, no.
Optimus Prime Rib!
(Laughter)

That's all that is.
That's all rib in
that mothafucker!

Frig off!
All rib in
that m*therf*cker...

Frig off!
Do you want to go?
(Mixed shouting)

Do you want me
to put you down?

I came here for
a friggin' phone,
all right?

No, man, you can't
have no phone.

(Mixed shouting)

You got tons of phones!
Give me a friggin'
phone! Frig!

(Grunting)

I got a phone, okay?
Right here.

All right?
That's all I wanted.

You guys have got
to take me serious
from now on, okay?

I'm not friggin' around.
T, put this on my tab.

Listen, ain't nobody
taking you serious

when you dress like
Robo-f*cking-gutcop.

Get the f*ck
out of here, man.
(Laughter)

f*ck. Thanks for
driving, Ricky.

I'm definitely over.
I think I had, like,

three too many beers.
Yeah, me too, buddy.

(Phone rings)

Skip. Who the f*ck's
this Skip idiot who
keeps calling me?

I don't even know
a f*cking Skip!

f*ck off! I'm going
to throw this phone
out the window

and f*cking smash it.
Ricky!

Do not smash another
f*cking phone, please.

You need to be
reachable at all times.

(Car squeaking)
Man, that f*cking squeak
will drive me nuts.

Just give it a sh*t
of WD- , that would
fix it right up.

WD- ?
What's that, Ricky?

How the f*ck
do you not know
what WD- is, man?

Especially a guy
who works on carts.

What do you use?
-in- oil?

No, I think
I've got some...

WD- here, Ricky.

But I've never
heard of WD- .

I've got some
W oil behind
the seat there.

But...
(Laughs)

I mean, that's
not the stuff
I'm talking about.

That works pretty good
but WD- 's way better.

It's in a different
coloured can.

Anyway...

Look, we've got to talk

about this whole f*cking
hockey school thing.

You know, with this
pizza sauce business,

I don't think there's
going to be time
to do both, bud.

I don't think there's
going to be time
to run a hockey school.

(Sighs)
I know.

You're right, I guess.
It just sucks.

I mean, I put up
all those flyers,

and I was kind of
looking forward to it.

Because we've been doing
so well lately,

I thought, like, maybe
it was time to give
back, to the kids.

So I decided to come up
with the idea to start
a ball hockey camp.

I can rent the rink
for $ a week

and charge the parents
$ a week per kid.

As long as I get
four kids per week,
it's no f*cking brainier.

All right, let's see

if you can make a simple
f*cking phone call
today, you assh*le!

Ricky, phones
can't be assholes.

Hey, Darren. It's Ricky.
I got some bad news, man.

I'm going to
have to cancel.
Not enough interest.

So I'll need that
deposit back.

No f*cking way, it worked?

Oh, f*ck you, Darren!

That's f*cking bullshit!
f*ck's sakes!
What?

He says if I don't
put on the hockey camp,
I don't get my deposit back.

I guess the f*cking phone's
been ringing off the hook

with people asking about
Gretzky and Coffey.

Gretzky and Coffey?
What are you
talking about?

A brilliant market-ling.

I put on the flyer
that they might drop by
at the hockey camp.

Who might drop by?
Wayne Gretzky
and Paul Coffey?

Ricky, Jesus. You'd
never get those guys
to your hockey school,

not to mention
that's illegal.

No, it's not.
It is!

I said,
"possible appearance".

It's false advertising.

Well, they're
going to be in town

for some f*cking fancy
rich guy idiot dinner,

so I'll get a hold
of them, see if they
want to drop by.

If they don't,
they look like
dicks, not me.

Oh, my f*ck.

I don't know why
you go on these
stupid ride-alongs.

It's never going to...

get you any closer
to being on the force.

You're wrong, Mr. Lahey.

You have no idea.

This is going
to help me more

than you can
ever imagine.

Ted's a f*cking idiot.
(Car horn honking)

And he's a shitty
police officer.

Sometimes a man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do,

to get what he wants.

Okay, I'm about to get in the
car with Officer Ted Johnson,

who invited me to go
on a ride-along.

Hey, Ted.
What you up to?

Oh, you know what
I'm up to, Randy.

Get in the car.

I was thinking maybe
you could take me
sh**ting this week.

I know how to sh**t,
but not very well.

We might be able to do that.

First though,

I'd like to do a little
"sh**ting" of my own.

Know what I mean?

Bubbles:
Ricky, slow the f*ck down.

Jesus Murphy!
This truck's not built for that.

That was awesome, Bubs.
I'm sorry, man,
it's a fork habit.

Reggie loves that sh*t
when I slide in.

Well, I don't.
You're gonna break
the f*cking thing.

Jesus Murphy!

Oh, look at that beaut.

Ricky:
Be a lot nicer if it had
some f*cking tires on it.

No, Ricky,
the... cart.

Ricky:
Reg!

Right on, man.
Look at all the tables.

Ricky, look,
that's a series
from the mid-' s.

You do not see
those babies anymore.

It's a f*cking
piece of sh*t.
Who cares?

It's a f*cking beauty!

Is what that is.
All hand-welded.

Oh, for f*ck's sakes!
(Dog barking)

All right, well,
worst case scenario,

we're waiting
for an hour.
Maybe.

Or if something happened,
he could have left
that f*cking days ago

and got dead or something.
You never know.

Ricky, how does your
brain come up with that?

Well, I'm just saying,
like, the f*cking sign
can't predict the future.

Neither can a people.
Something could have
f*cking happened to him.

That's all I'm saying.
We could be waiting
here for days.

My God... All right.
Well, I guess
that makes sense.

Well, you know what?
Just back the truck up.

Me and Reggie go way back.
We'll take the tables.

If he didn't get dead,
we'll f*cking pay
for them tomorrow.

Will he be
all right with that?

Yes, man!
It's the Reg!
(Phone ringing)

(Sigh)
f*cking... oh, my f*ck!
Skip again!

f*ck you, Skip!
Stop calling my f*cking
phone, you assh*le!

Ricky, why don't
you just answer it

and ask him who he is
like a f*cking normal
person would do?

'Cause it's some
little f*cking assh*le
that's f*cking with me!

He never leaves a message,
just likes to call me up
and f*cking annoy me!

Yeah, I'm sure
that's what Skip's doin'.

Randy, you did an
exceptional job today.

You're really working
hard for this.

I never wanted
anything more in
my whole life, Ted.

Listen, I got
a new cellphone.
Oh, yeah?

I was wondering
if you could put
your email address

and your contact
information.

Yeah, I could
do that for you.

Drop me a line
when you want to do
some more... training.

I'll definitely
be contacting you.

(Dog barking)
(Grunt)

All right, Ricky.

No more f*cking power slides.

She's as top heavy
as Dolly Parton
up a flag pole now.

No worries, buddy.
Let's get the f*ck back
to the trailer park

and get these little
babies set up.

Just take it easy.

I'll try. f*ck...

(Second vehicle
approaching)

...in the f*ck?
Racoon f*cking fucks!

(g*nshots)

f*ck!

(Engine ignition)

(g*nshots)

Jesus Christ!
Jesus f*ck! What was that?

(g*nshots)
Who's sh**ting at us?
Steven Avery?

Reggie:
I will f*ck you the f*ck up.

Is that Reggie?
Reggie, it's me,
you f*cking idiot!

Stop f*cking f*ring!
(g*nshots continue)

(Scream)

Ricky, what's his number?

-JUNK.

(g*nsh*t)
f*ck off!

Bubbles:
There, it's ringing.

Reggie: (On phone)
Yeah?

Ricky: Hey, p*stol-cock!
It's Ricky!
What?

Are you f*ring your
f*cking hand-cannon at
a little white truck?

What the f*ck are
you talking about?

Yeah, well, that's
me and Bubbles,

you f*cking slutty,
horny f*cking moose bitch!

Pull the f*ck over!

Bubbles:
Christ, Ricky!
Ricky: f*ck.

Why do you hang out
with that f*cking
crazy bastard?

He's f*cked!
Do you think?

What the f*ck, man?
What the f*ck,

you f*cking
bunny blower!

Jeez, that was bat-f*ck
f*cked up back there.

I'm glad we didn't f*cking
sh**t each other, cock-shaver!
No sh*t.

I kind of didn't
recogni... When did you
get this piece of sh*t?

It's Bubbles'
piece of sh*t.

It's not a piece of sh*t.

It's a f*cking
wonderful little truck.
It's very practical.

Sorry, man. We needed
these f*cking tables
and lights today

and figured we'd just
pay you tomorrow.

Pay me whenever
you want, Shylock.

Just don't f*ck me over
like your pal Julian did

with that f*cking
container I got him.

Julian?
Julian's out west

working in the oil fields.
Yeah.

No, no, no. Julian?

Julian's living
in a container
down by the wharf.

He's trawling for
f*cking lobsters right now.

What?

You've got to be
yanking my cock with
a pair of vise grips.

Hey, Ted.
Did you get my email?

No, you listen to me!
That was just a small clip.

Unless you want the
whole video to go public,

I suggest you do everything
to get me on the police force.

I'm dead serious.

Yeah, tomorrow
morning works great.

All right, see you then.

(Beep)

Julian?

(Sigh)

Do you guys want a drink?

How many years have we
been friends, Julian?

How many f*cking years?
And you just cut us
out of your life.

Yeah, man.
What the f*ck?
Real nice.

So this is where
you're living now?

It's quite the
f*cking spot.

(Door creaking)
Look out, Bubs.

Holy f*ck!
Come on in, boys.

You give me one
good g*dd*mn
reason, Julian,

why you've been
living so f*cking
close to us

and you didn't come
and see us, not once!

Because you're better
off without me, man.
Oh, yeah.

I've been keeping
tabs on you guys.

Congratulations on the
pizza sauce company, man.

I'm very proud of you guys.
I'm happy for you.

I didn't know you knew
about that. Thank you.

It's f*cking
great, actually.

We're about to sign
a f*cking contract with
a big pizza chain.

See? That's
fantastic, guys!

Yeah, it is fantastic.

The problem is,
you know,
to meet demands,

we've got to take
things to the next level

and I'm not sure we're
capable of doing that.

So... why don't you just
move back to the park

join the company,
and you can oversee
the expansion project.

Because, Bubs,
me being on my own

is the best thing
for us, man.

I've got everything I need.

How much money are we
talking about anyway?

I don't know
exactly, but...

I think it's in the
ballpark of a thousand
bucks each, a month.

(Chuckling)
(Phone ringing)

I really appreciate
you guys thinking
about me, but I can't.

What the f*ck...
(Ringing)

Oh, my f*ck, this
f*cking Skip sh*t...

f*cking Skip! f*ck!
Rick! Rick! Rick!

Rick! Do not throw
that f*cking phone!

Why do you keep
saying "Skip"?

It's Skype! You're
getting a Skype call.

Answer it.
What does that mean?

It's Snoop Dogg!
f*ck! Hey!

Say, man. Why the f*ck you
brushing a motherfucka off?

I'm sorry, man.
I'm f*cking still
trying to figure out

how to work these
g*dd*mn brain-phones.

I'm hitting you up
for a real reason, man.

That -hour de-energy drink,

that sh*t is catching on
in Cali, man.

It's liquid gold.

And m*therf*ckers'll
pay anything for it.

Now here's the real question:

can you hook your cousin up?

(Sigh)
f*ck, man, I wish.
I've got none left.

And I'm not growing dope
anymore, so I can't.

How much are you talking
about here, Snoop?

Well, I was thinking
about setting up a deal
with Mary Jane's,

you know, for, like,
you know, what?
, bottles, maybe.

, !
(Chuckle)

How much a bottle?
Now hold the f*ck on.

How soon would I
get the delivery?

(Sigh)
f*ck, it'd take...

days to grow the dope,

and then a week to f*cking
dry it and make it.

So... it'd be ...

days, man.
Damn!

That's some quick turnaround
sh*t right there.

Seven bucks per motherfucka.

No, how about US,

plus you're in charge
of the transpo. Deal?

(Exhaling)

sh*t. Done deal.

That's the way this
motherfucka rolls.

I'mma holler at y'all
in a few weeks so we
can set this sh*t up.

I'm gone.
(Beep)

Holy f*ck!
A deal? A deal?

Boys, forget
what I said.

I'm going to run
your company

but it's not going
to be a f*cking
pizza sauce company.

Are you out of your
f*cking mind?

That's not happening,
Julian, not a chance!
(Liquid trickling)

Bubs, you're already
set up to grow
right now, man!

Like, how long is
it going to take?
What, days?

After days
you can get back into
making pizza sauce.

Rick, how many plants
are we talking?

Off the top of my head,
between... and .

But we probably do
have enough tables.

Ricky, you're not taking
our f*cking business

and turning it into
a g*dd*mn weed factory!
(Toilet flushing)

Bubs, it's ,
Canadian almost!

Think about it.

Think about it!

I don't give
a f*ck, Julian!

I don't give a f*ck
about the money!
Bubs, come on, man!

I've f*cking missed
you guys! I want to be
hanging out with you guys.

Oh, yeah, you missed us
so much now that there's
f*cking... a bunch of money!

"Oh, I've missed you guys!"

I don't give a f*ck
about the money, Julian.

It's f*cking illegal.

Bubs, think about the
cat food you can buy.

Think about all
those vet bills that
you can easily pay for

for the rest of
your f*cking life.

It's a f*cking
sh*t-ton of money, Bubs.

And no one would
suspect a f*cking
thing, either.

Come on, man.
We'd be a team again.

(Whimpering)
Bubs, come on!

Who's got your
$ , belly, huh?

Tickle-ickle-ickle...
Come on!
Julian, f*ck o...

You're not tricking
me with the
f*cking belly work!

I'll do some f*cking
wiener work for
that kind of money.

I don't want wiener work.

This is a f*cking bad idea!
I'm just going to say that.

(Sigh)

But I'll do it.

I'll f*cking do it
just to get the
team back together.

But on one condition:

days, and we go
back to making pizza
sauce, all of us.

Deal.
Deal.

Oh, f*ck...
(Laughing)
Right on, boys!

(Whimpering)
Cheers! Yeah!

(Music)

(Seabirds squawking)

Fish:
f*ck! f*ck! f*ck off! f*ck!...

f*ck off! Jesus Christ!

(Whisper)
f*ck.

(Light clicks off)
f*ck off.