01x01 - #BootyCall

[bunniefuu]

[Maya] You know how Drake says,

"Started from the
bottom, now we're here"?

And, yes, he's talking about the cutthroat
world of the hip-hop industry, but...

that idea could also apply
to the first day of school.

I mean, today, we're at the bottom,

but from here, anything's possible.

Who cares who you were last year?

Haters gonna hate, but it's like,

we get to choose.

Bully or bullied?

Leader or loser?

Most likely to run the world...

or most likely to blow it up?

No one makes it overnight.

Okay, you've gotta work
hard and make good choices.

And if I do that, there's no reason
why I can't be the next T-Swift,

or something even more amazing.

[chuckles] You have pretty lips.

[scoffs]

Okay, I don't think doing
this on the first day

qualifies as a good choice.

- Well, I disagree.
- [scoffs] Zig, I have a plan.

I wanna put together a band, make
music that makes an impression.

- I wanna...
- Be amazing.

[sighs] The ears do work.

And I want all that, too, Maya,

but what I want now is...

Next on our school
tour, it's... Oh, my God!

- Oh, God.
- [students clamoring]

Oh, my God! I love high school.

[Frankie] Go, go.

[Maya sighs]

Well, you definitely made
an impression on that kid.

- Come on, let's get to class.
- [chuckles]

♪ Whatever it takes I know
I can make it through ♪

♪ And if I hold out I know
I can make it through ♪

♪ Be the best, be the best
The best that I can be ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it
I know I can make it through ♪

[Ms. Badger] And that, my friends,

was your first chemistry
lesson of the new school year.

- Any questions?
- Uh, yeah.

Will we be covering Heisenberg this year?

Apologies, Tiny, you'll have
to wait until grade 12 for that.

[bell ringing]

- What?
- Uh... you're smart.

You seem surprised.

It's because I'm black, isn't it?

What? No! I...

- I...
- [chuckles]

- [chuckles]
- Chill.

You seem pretty smart, too.

You're the only sophomore in grade 11 chem.

Thanks.

Ooh. Looks like someone's got a new crush.

- What? I do not!
- [Frankie] Good.

Because there's no
point trying to be happy.

Life will crush your dreams
and destroy your spirit.

Oh, right, 'cause you got
dumped by Winston this summer.

And forget about it. She's
right. You have no chance.

What? Why not?

I mean, I don't want a chance, but... why?

Because Tiny likes butts, and...

you have the butt of a four-year-old boy.

Ew! And how do you even know that?

[sighs] He only likes
photos that feature butts.

All the celebs he tweets
about have dope butts.

It's butts, butts, butts with that guy.

Stop saying "butts."

It's really no surprise,
Shay. Butts are the new boobs.

Finally.

[sighs]

Okay.

Have you seen our schedules?
We only have one class together.

- What's the point of school, even?
- [sighs]

Did you idiots seriously
get caught making out?

Oh, God, day one and I'm already notorious.

[chuckling]

Um... are you free tonight?

[phone vibrating]

Oh, I should... get this.

- It's The Trap Door.
- [Zig exhales]

That club downtown?

- [chuckles]
- Hello?

Yes, this is she.

Um, yes, I would be very interested.

Okay.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Bye.

[squealing]

He wants me and my band to audition.

- Really? Oh, my God!
- Yeah!

Um, but you've been laying
your tracks by yourself.

You don't have a band.

Which means I have serious work to do.

[sighs] Bye.

So why are we in student council?

Oh, Zoë Rivas, my dearest of friends,

I've decided to share my
talents with the world.

I'm running for president and
you're gonna be my campaign manager.

I'm gonna win and all of this will be mine.

So your persona for the new
school year is power hungry maniac?

Okay, maybe it's lame, but I
actually think I'd be awesome.

I'd make this a place

where people don't feel like they
have to hide their true selves.

What the crap is Miles doing here?

[Simpson] Okay, welcome back, everyone.

So, if you're here, you're running
for student council president.

Or you're someone's
kick-ass campaign manager.

Winston, language.

All right, candidates, please sign in,

and we'll go over the
campaign rules in a moment.

[softly] I thought he was
going to boarding school.

Incoming.

- So, you're my competition?
- [sighs]

- Important text?
- Miles, I didn't see you there.

[chuckles softly]

- May the best man win?
- Wouldn't want it any other way.

[Simpson] Okay, all
right, you all must abide

by the strict campaign
spending rules, right?

Yes, Goldi.

Uh, would you like us to submit
the budget as paper or PDF?

[Simpson] That's a good
question. As part of our...

You okay running against your ex?

I'll let you know when my heart
stops trying to b*at out of my chest.

[sighs]

[pop music playing]

♪ When you're next to me ♪

♪ Tell me things I wanna hear ♪

♪ You're so sweet But
I don't know you yet ♪

♪ When I feel this way ♪

♪ I wonder what
should I believe ♪

♪ It's so sweet But I
don't know you yet ♪

♪ You got me spinning
And I wanna get off ♪

♪ My head is swimming And
I wanna get off, get off ♪

♪ I wanna get off, get off ♪

Whoo! Hey, you were pretty awesome!

Thanks. Yeah, I've been
told that. [chuckles]

Modest, too. [chuckles softly]

So, uh, why are you
looking for a guitarist?

Big Battle of the Bands
coming up or something?

No. Actually, I have an
audition for The Trap Door.

[scoffs] That's huge.

It's gonna be me, um, Grace
working her drum machine,

maybe some more vocals,
and a heavy lead guitar.

Hey, uh, you ready to head home?

Oh, Zig, this is Jonah. Jonah, Zig.

Her boyfriend.

Jonah is auditioning to play guitar.

But, uh, I... I thought I'd play guitar.

- You did?
- Well, yeah.

Since when do you play guitar?

[Zig scoffs]

Since forever.

Okay, well, why don't you just let me
know when you've made your decision?

Hi! Vote for Goldi, school president.

Hey. Good morning. Vote for
Tristan, first gay president.

[chuckles]

These posters are on ten. [chuckles]

What's the point? Miles is going
to take the presidency from me

and leave me a blubbering mess.

Vote for Tristan,
everyone's gay best friend.

Tris, it's been over six months
since he broke up with you.

For a girl.

Boys, girls, being school president.

That jerk always gets what he wants.

Well, don't let him.

He might get the mainstream
kids, but you have a real message

that anyone who feels like
an outsider can relate to.

[Frankie laughs]

You let Lola get to you.

I do look like a four-year-old boy.

I have zero butt, and you
don't see me freaking out.

That's because you're white.

- Are we allowed to talk about this?
- I'm just saying, it's different.

[sighs] You want a butt?

There. You've got a butt.

- Easy.
- [giggles]

I've gotta send this to Lo.

Is this what the world has done to us?

Taking butt photos in a
school washroom to impress boys

who will probably just leave us
for their secretaries in 15 years?

Or maybe everything will turn out great.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- What, what, what, what, what?

Lola posted the photo!

[Frankie sighs]

[Tristan] Tender young things...

what are some issues
concerning you this year?

We don't have anywhere to game at lunch.

Even though the jocks have the
back field and the gym for their...

h*m* grappling.

Well, vote for me and
I'll find you some space.

- [girl] "Everyone's gay best friend."
- See?

But, um, no points on your slogan.

It's basically the same as my brother's.

[Winston] All right, let's bring it down.

He took my slogan, too?

[cell phone chimes]

"You're invited to the
Hollingsworth Campaign pool party."

[Zoë scoffs]

Is your pool-party Prada
back from the dry cleaners?

[upbeat music playing]

I don't delete photos.
It's bad for my brand.

[Frankie] Your brand? What are you, Nike?

What if Tiny saw it?

He'll think you have a great butt.

It was actually a pretty decent 'shop job.

[Tiny] Hey.

Um... [chuckles]

I was wondering if, uh, you
wanted to be my lab partner?

Of course. She loves lab partners.

[Tiny chuckles] Awesome.

Enjoy the party.

He totally likes you. You
are so hashtag, blessed.

I am so hashtag, screwed.

He only asked me 'cause
he saw that dumb photo.

- So?
- As soon as he sees me in real life,

it will become obvious I
have zero junk in my trunk.

Well, you could always stay seated?

Ah, my worthy opponent.

Can I talk to you, privately?

Yeah, sure.

[sighs] Oh!

- [chuckles nervously]
- You haven't returned any of my texts.

I thought you were dead.

Nope. Still alive. Just... busy.

So... are we still friends?

Don't be an idiot.

I need you.

See you in class? [chuckles]

Yeah, I guess.

How do I tell Zig that
Jonah's way better than him?

First of all, don't say that.

There's no way to avoid
hurting his feelings?

You could put him in the band
even though he sucks, but...

then you'd be one of those girls.

- What girls?
- The ones who pretend they're less smart,

or funny, or talented to
soothe the fragile male ego.

Yeah, well, I would never do that.

Exactly. What's more
important to you, Zig or music?

- Rough.
- I love Zig. I do.

But music is everything to me.

And there's gotta be a way
that I can pursue my dream

without losing Zig to dumb insecurity.

You could find a way to stroke his ego.

- Hmm?
- [both laugh]

- [laughing]
- [chuckling] Stop!

- Should've told me you liked it rough.
- You stole my slogan.

I hadn't even seen yours
when I came up with mine.

You're full of crap.

Why are you even running? You hate school.

I'm running because I'm tired of running.

Are you stroking out?

Listen, things got so
bad with my dad last year,

I thought about boarding school.

He's out of the house now, but
he's still in the city, so...

So you thought you'd escape on
your magic carpet made of money.

Then I realized that the
real problem was I felt alone.

So you're running to make friends?

I'm running because...

I want Degrassi to have
something for everyone.

Hey, it's better than your reason.

[scoffs] Which is?

You're not over me...

and you're just looking for a distraction.

You've never been more wrong.

[chuckles] That's too bad...

'cause I'm not over you.

Hey! Sorry I missed our prep session.

It took me forever to find
the perfect debate outfit.

And that's what you settled on?

Miles told me I looked
hot in this last year.

And since when do you care what he thinks?

Since we totally made out at the party.

[gasps]

Zo, it was incredible.

We connected on this,
like, deep, emotional level

and all the feelings came flooding back.

Well, find a lifeboat, because
you have a debate to prep for.

Maybe I'll throw it.

[scoffs] Because of one kiss?

Okay, well, no matter how bad I do,

I'm still gonna b*at
that boring Goldi girl.

And if I come second, I get
to be Miles' vice president.

I could be the Biden to his Obama.

They aren't dating, you realize?

And Miles would be a good president.

He's doing it for the little guy,
to make sure people feel included.

- That's why you're doing it, remember?
- [sighs]

Miles is still Miles.

Sneaky, underhanded, indecisive Miles.

He's made out with everyone. Even me.

- I really feel like he's changed.
- [sighs]

[Miles] Yeah, so don't hesitate
to text with any questions

about, um, my platform.

Mmm-hmm. [giggles]

What... I have class!

Not like that, you don't.

- What is going on with your weird butt?
- Is it that bad?

Worse. What did you even use?

Cotton batting. I found it
in my mom's sewing stuff.

There are butt pads available for purchase.

Not everyone has a trust fund.
I get, like, ten bucks a week.

- What are you doing?
- Trying to make it look

like you don't have cotton
batting in your pants.

- Oh, no.
- [bell ringing]

Try distracting him with cleavage?

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Should we get started on the experiment?
- Yeah.

Uh, can you grab a graduated cylinder?

On it.

Thanks. Oh, and Shay, we
need a set of pipettes, too.

[chuckles]

- Oh, hey! Watch it!
- Was that bromine?

Yeah.

Shay, that stuff is corrosive.

- You have...
- Whoa!

You have to take your pants off.

What? No. No, I can't!

- Oh, my...
- [Tiny] Do you want chemical burns?

- Take them off before it soaks through.
- Turn around!

- You... What...
- Turn around!

- [Shay whimpering]
- Oh, uh...

- [Ms. Badger chuckling nervously]
- [students laughing]

Who says chemistry isn't exciting?

[Ms. Badger] This way. Come on, let's go.

[Goldi] By involving ourselves
in these opportunities

it not only gives us leadership
skills, but also community connections.

This is why I respectfully
ask for your vote.

Thank you, Goldi. Okay, question time.

Tristan, in two words,

why do you think you're the most qualified
to lead the Degrassi student body?

Well, because I'm fun and empathetic.

- [all applauding]
- That's great. Miles?

- I'm honest and decisive.
- [scoffs]

[scattered applause]

Sorry, Tris, didn't quite catch that.

No, I just...

wanted Miles to elaborate on his honesty.

[students murmuring]

There won't be any surprises with
me. What you see is what you get.

They'll get it all right.

Especially if they're
some cute niner, right?

- What are you talking about?
- Don't play dumb with me, Mr. Honesty.

I saw you scribbling on that blonde.

I'm... I'm sorry, can we get back

- to the actual debate?
- [girl] Yeah!

Good people of Degrassi,
do you deserve a president

that wants to make this
a place for everyone?

- Or one that can't keep it in his pants?
- [students murmuring]

- Oh, Tristan, time's up.
- [Miles] This school deserves a president

who can separate his personal
and professional lives.

- Miles, enough!
- [Tristan] Decisive, my ass.

You can't even decide if
you like boys or girls.

[Simpson] Okay, I think we
got a little off track here.

- Um, Goldi?
- [Goldi stuttering] I'm sorry,

what was the question?

- [students murmuring]
- [Simpson sighs]

There's my sweet, sexy boyfriend.

- Hey.
- [Maya sighs]

- What are you up to tonight?
- Well, more of this, I hope.

Great. So you're free.

You know how you're the best chef ever?

I found you a line cook job

where you can show off
all your awesome skills.

You don't want me in the band.

[sighs]

Just don't take it personally, okay?

What, you'd seriously rather
spend time with that Jonah dude?

Jonah can get me the sound I need.

But I'm your boyfriend, Maya!

It doesn't make you good at guitar.

I can't believe that you're blowing
me off for this dumb music stuff.

Okay, well, this "dumb music
stuff" is my dream, Zig.

And it's more important than me?

Yes.

Why can't you understand that?

Because you never want to hang out anymore.

Because I'm really busy.

You never wanna have sex,
okay? Or even talk about it.

I don't not want to have sex.

So, are you two gonna get
a room, or can we practice?

Can we... talk about this later?

- Please?
- Yes. Yes, definitely.

Okay.

- [door closes]
- Okay.

[upbeat rock music playing]

♪ When you're so close ♪

♪ I feel your hand ♪

♪ Touching mine ♪

♪ Nobody sees us But
I know what I want... ♪

How bad is it? Be honest.

Milligan Meltdown is
basically trending worldwide.

[Tristan sighs]

I can't believe I let him get to me again.

[Simpson on PA] Attention, students.
I have election results.

Drumroll, please.

Your student council president is...

Miles Hollingsworth.

In second place, and
your vice president,

- Tristan Milligan. - [PA clicks]

[Tristan sighs]

Why do I always let my heart
get in the way of my happiness?

It'll get better, Tris. Hey, at
least you're the vice president.

Um, this is the girls' washroom.

So, I have to spend the whole
year by his side? What a nightmare.

Excuse me, what are you complaining about?

I'm the only one who ran an
actual campaign and I lost!

Between you ruining the
debate with your overshares,

and Miles' outrageous party,

which totally violated the spending limits,

this whole election is a mockery!

[door slams]

[Tristan scoffs]

She's right.

[bell ringing]

I totally humiliated myself,

- and it's all your fault!
- Guys...

If it weren't for me, you'd have,
like, sixth-degree butt burns!

Burns stop at the third degree!

- Guys!
- [both] What?

Hey, is uh, your butt okay?

No need to make fun of me,
okay? I know how stupid I am.

But... I only did it
because you saw that picture.

What picture?

- You didn't see Lola's Hastygram?
- I don't follow her.

I'm sorry, what did you just say?

I just wanted to check on you
and give you back your stuff.

Oh.

Okay.

- [chuckles] I'm going to go now.
- But...

you're still gonna be
my lab partner, right?

'Cause I need the smartest
girl in class in my corner.

Yeah, sure.

I guess he liked me
for my brains all along.

Wait, are brains the new butts?

- Finally.
- [Lola groans]

See, Frankie, the world's not so bleak.

Sometimes things work
out. Celebratory froyo?

Um... [chuckles]

I'll catch up with you later.

[sniffles]

- [sighs]
- [students applauding]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. [chuckles]

Wow.

A really great-looking
good group of people here.

- I, uh, fit right in. [laughs]
- [girl] Yeah, right.

No, but, uh, sincerely though...

thank you for electing me, guys,

and I hope we can make this
Degrassi's best year ever, huh?

- [all agreeing]
- Miles...

- a word?
- Okay.

You here to give me
the council credit card?

It's come to my attention that
you threw an election party.

Yeah, so?

The campaign spending limit was $100.

The pictures show you spent at least
that much on food and drink alone.

This is... total crap.

[sighs]

You broke the rules. I'm
afraid I have to disqualify you.

You did this.

You're pathetic.

I'm not the one who cheated.

Okay.

Fine, you win. Congratulations.

But enjoy it while it lasts,
because I'm going to destroy you.

And, for the record...

I wasn't over you.

But I certainly am now.

[soft rock music playing]