04x11 - Mr. Monk Bumps His Head

[bunniefuu]

You sure this is it?

This is it.

What time is it?

3:20.

I don't see him.

He'll be here.

Mr. Monk, do you think he really has information about Trudy?

What if he's lying just to get the reward money?

What if he's not?

You have the cash? Give me the cash.

Look, I just don't want you getting your hopes up.

Natalie, I don't have an abundance of hope.

Let me enjoy the little I have, please.

Give it to me. Okay.

Okay, you wait over there.... by the facility thing.

You mean the bathroom?

I believe they're called facility things.

I'm not leaving you.

Natalie, he said to come alone.

If he sees you here, he won't stop.

Mr. Monk, my job is to help you, not to wait for you in the facility thing.

This is about Trudy. I have got to do this.

Please.

All right, but just promise me you won't pay him unless you're sure.

And if you need anything, yell.

Good luck.

Psst.

Psst!

You Monk?

That for me?

You said you had a picture.

You've been looking for a six-fingered man?

Yeah.

Where did you get this?

I took it myself.

I met him in Vancouver, Canada.

He was drunk. He was talking about k*lling your wife with a car b*mb.

What's his name?

The picture's free, Mr. Monk.

The name's gonna cost you.

Wait wait wait wait.

This sixth finger.

Yeah? What about it?

No hair on the knuckle.

This photograph has been doctored.

Just give me the money.

You can't help me at all, can you?!

Give me the money!

Natalie! Natalie!

Dammit.

[engine starting]

Mr. Monk?

Mr. Monk?

[Randy Newman ragtime theme]

* It's a jungle out there

* Disorder and confusion everywhere *

* No one seems to care, well I do *

* Hey, who's in charge here?

* It's a jungle out there

* Poison in the very air we breathe *

* You know what's in the water that you drink? *

* Well, I do, and it's a-ma-zing *

* People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time *

* If you paid attention, you'd be worried too *

* You'd better pay attention, or this world we love so much *

* Might just k*ll you

* I could be wrong now, but I don't think so *

* 'Cause it's a jungle out there *

* It's a jungle out there *

Hey!

What are you doing?

You can't ride back here.

Does this look like a Greyhound bus to you?

No, buses have windows and seats.

Hey, it was a rhetorical question.

Aah. Are you all right?

Look, buddy, it's not me.

But I get caught with a civilian back here, I could lose my insurance.

Listen, do you have any money?

No, sorry.

Wait wait wait wait.

Here, buy yourself some dinner.

What are you doing?

Smoothing it out.

Why?

I don't know.

Good afternoon, Kirby.

Cora.

They said it might rain later.

Oh, well, we'll know soon enough.

I got some food for Jinxy.

That's his favorite brand.

They fed him a completely different brand at the shelter while I was gone.

You were gone?

Yeah, I was on vacation.

I just got back.

Oh, good for you. A little weekend getaway.

Actually, I was gone for three months.

I was on that cruise, you remember.

We talked about that.

You told me I should take a lot of pictures.

Did I?

They'll be ready on Thursday. Can't wait to show you.

Especially Greece.

I never knew there were so many islands.

Excuse me, Cora, I'm sorry.

I remembered I gotta pick up...

Clean up the back room.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

I'll bring those pictures around.

Yeah, yeah, you do that.

All right.

(man) Hey, excuse me?

Hey! Hey!

Don't ponce my ride.

What are you doing?

It's just not quite straight.

What part of don't ponce my ride don't you understand?

Well, ponce.

Most of--all of it, really.

No man, this is a BMW 5 series, all right?

You think I'm gonna let you touch it?

Buddy, what is your problem?

I don't know, I can't stop.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but it's almost there, just a...

Hey, how about I just rip you a new one?

Uh, no. No no.

I don't need a new one.

Where you from?

I don't know.

Well, how about you do this town a favor?

You figure out where it is you're from and then get your sorry ass back there.

Okay, thank you.

* Mamas don't let your babies *

* Grow up to be cowboys *

* Don't let 'em pick guitars and... *

Is that Willie Nelson?

You hate country music.

You been coming in singing and dancing every day this week.

What's his name?

Well, maybe I'm just happy.

Isn't that possible?

(Gail) Sure, it's possible.

What's his name?

[Monk clears throat]

Oh, good morning.

Can you feed me? We can try.

Breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

Um...

Doesn't matter, it's the same menu anyway.

Well, you can sit anywhere you like.

Oh...

Here.

How about right over here?

You can watch the world go by.

Or not go by.

Here you go.

Are you okay?

Did you get in a fight or something?

Uh...

Can I get you something to drink?

Oh, do you have any bottled water?

We can do that.

But wait, I have a favorite brand.

It's the only brand I drink.

It's called, um...

It's called, uh...

I can't remember.

I'll just bring you ours.

[police radio squawking]

Talk to those guys, get a list of the regulars.

I want a list of all the truckers that park here overnight.

This is my fault, I should never have left him.

You're supposed to say, "No, Natalie, it's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself."

Sorry.

Say it!

It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself.

It's all my fault. Captain!

What do you got?

Found his wallet.

ID's still in there, money's gone.

Robbery.

Well, believe it or not, that's good news.

Why?

If it was a kidnapper, he'd have other things on his mind.

Captain, Mr. Monk gets all his money from the bank, they're brand-new bills.

Maybe they keep track of the serial numbers.

That's good, we'll check it out.

Maybe this guy really did have a clue about Trudy's m*rder.

And Monk solved the case.

I mean, he found the guy who k*lled Trudy.

And k*lled him.

And then he moved someplace else, changed his name, and started a new life.

Without telling us.

Happens all the time.

It does?

It happens occasionally.

It's not unprecedented.

I never said it.

Good.

How was everything?

How's that water?

I like it!

See, you have a new favorite brand.

It's a big day for you.

Yeah. Now, I'm just curious.

Why do you have everything on different plates?

Is it, like, a religious thing?

I guess so.

Is that why you wash your hands every two minutes?

Probably.

All right, here you go.

Whenever you are ready.

Oh, 12.50.

Is there a problem?

I only have five dollars.

You're having a rough time, aren't you?

You know what?

I'll pay the rest.

Pay me back when you can.

Debbie, what are you doing?

I can tell he's an honest guy.

I am?

Mm-hmm.

I think you're right. I am.

Thank you. I will pay you back.

I promise.

There's no rush!

We're both gonna die here.

Yeah.

Oh, excuse me.

How far am I from police headquarters?

Headquarters?

Excuse me.

You caught me cheating. Don't tell anybody.

I won't.

What can we do for you?

I'm a little confused.

Oh, that happens all the time.

Let me guess, you got off the interstate and you were looking for a gas station.

No, no. No no no.

I'm not lost.

Well, I am.

I don't know who I am.

You can't remember? Like, amnesia?

Have a seat.

That's a hell of a speed bump you got there.

I've got an icepack somewhere.

Has a doctor seen that?

I don't know.

How'd that happen?

I can tell ya how it happened.

Cora? A paint can dropped on his head.

And he about fell overboard.

Overboard?

How do you know this, Cora?

Because I was there. It was in Naples, Italy.

He was on my cruise.

So you know this man?

Yeah, I know the man. Of course I know the man.

He's my husband.

Feel better?

You should, you slept for 15 hours.

I had the strangest dream.

I dreamt that you were a blonde.

A blonde?

And you looked pretty.

Different. Pretty different.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm, uh...

It's a religious thing.

Don't play with your food, just eat it.

Okay.

The roof again.

This place is a dump!

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Oh, gee gee pugee! He's a boo boo.

Mmm, we have a cat.

You love cats. I love cats.

Jinxy, this is my new husband Jerry.

My name is Jerry?

Jerry Little.

Short for Jeremiah, which is my favorite name.

That's certainly a coincidence.

Isn't it?

Oh, are these clothes new?

I brought 'em yesterday.

They look good.

Oh, that is a good look on you.

Mmm mmm mmm.

Where are my clothes?

You lost 'em. You lost everything gambling.

I gamble. Mmm-hmm.

Darling, you have a serious addiction.

Just can't stop yourself.

You bet all your luggage.

And you bet everything you own on red.

I was in the casino.

I was watching you.

That's where we met.

Now what?

The milk...

I feel... I feel frightened.

You're afraid of milk.

How is that possible?

What--what is wrong with me?

It probably happened when you banged your head.

Just give it a few days, you'll be okay.

Maybe I should see a doctor.

Oh, you saw a doctor, don't you remember?

Oh, right.

He told you to trust me.

And...to do everything that I say.

Yes, dear.

Oh, uh...

I'm gonna need some money.

I owe that waitress seven dollars.

What do you care?

I just wanna do the right thing.

Maybe later.

Right now you got some chores to do.

You love doing chores.

Oh. Here's your list.

Fix the roof? No.

No, I...I can't.

Sure you can. You're a roofer.

I'm a roofer?

That's your job.

I tell you what, tiger.

You fix the roof and then later on tonight...

I'll show you how much I appreciate it.

Here's your toolbox. Up you go.

Now what?

Uh, I'm... I'm afraid.

You're up two feet, Jerry.

You can do this.

That's why you became a roofer, to get over your fear of heights.

And it worked. You're world famous.

Jerry, you're the king of all the roofers.

Now up you go.

Yes, dear.

Ugh!

Oh!

Oof.

Ah... I'm a roofer?

What the hell?

Help!

Somebody get 'em off me!

You recognize him?

No. His name's Teddy Mulligan.

You were right about Monk's money.

The serial numbers led us right to him.

He's confessed to everything.

He tried to con Monk out of the reward money.

Then where is Mr. Monk?

Mulligan says there was a fight.

Oh, my God.

And Mulligan hit him on the head.

Oh, my God.

Then he threw him on the back of a truck and the truck drove away. That's all he knows.

Well, is he... Is he dead?

I don't think so.

There's been no report of a body.

Hey.

He's out there.

If somebody's seen him, we'll find him.

I promise.

Hi.

Are you two together?

Yeah, we're married. We're married!

This is my husband Jerry.

Uh, my name is Jerry.

And we're married.

No kidding? Well, congratulations.

Thank you, Gail.

Yeah, just like in the movies.

We met on that cruise I took.

Saw each other in the casino and boom! We knew, didn't we?

We knew. Love at first sight.

That's how it happened.

Evidently.

Is Debbie here? I owe her some money.

No, she quit this morning.

She quit? Just like that.

I found this note in the door.

Said that her boyfriend's moving to Denver

I was her best friend.

She didn't say a word to me.

There's something wrong with this.

Look at that smudge.

This note was written by a left-handed person.

But Debbie is right-handed.

That's right, she is.

I don't think Debbie wrote this note.

Where does she live?

I have the key.

What do you care about this girl?

I just wanna check it out.

Dear.

Well, make it fast.

'Cause...gotta get home. We got chores to do.

And loving to make.

What if she comes back and finds us?

Did you ever think about that?

What are you doing?

I think...I'm thinking.

That's the way you think?

If you wanna look around, look around like a normal person.

You're embarrassing me.

I'm sorry, dear.

But something is wrong here.

It looks like she's had this bird her whole life.

[loud squawk]

She wouldn't just leave it behind, would she?

How are you noticing this stuff?

I don't know.

I'm just...seeing things.

I wish you would concentrate like this on your roofing work.

Yes, my beloved.

Pregnancy test.

Looks like she had a bun in the oven.

How do you know? Those two little lines there.

That means positive.

See, you pee on that end.

Ugh!

Wipe! Wipe wipe!

Wipe! Give me--I need a wipe.

All right, relax!

Ugh.

Broken glass.

Broken glass.

This table has been moved.

I think somebody was fighting in here.

You see this tape?

There was a rug right here.

It's still sticky.

Okay, why would she leave all of her clothes behind?

But take the rug?

Cora...I think this poor girl has been m*rder*d.

Sheriff, are you sure it's safe?

I hate bees!

Don't worry about the bees, Larry!

Ned's got 'em all rounded up!

They're fast asleep. I hope.

Sheriff, what do you think about the waitress?

Well, I think, uh--what do I think?

I think she went to Denver to be with her boyfriend.

I told you.

No, no, Sheriff, Sheriff!

No, what about the parakeet? And the missing rug?

And look. Look, wait.

What about the note?

I don't think she wrote this note herself.

See that? Sheriff.

Mister.... I'm sorry, I forgot your name.

So have I.

Jerry. Jerry.

Jerry, it's not like it is on TV.

In real life, things are pretty much the way they seem.

For example...

This looks like a drunk driving accident.

Right?

Well, that's exactly what it is.

He was drunk?

Oh yeah, drunk as a skunk.

8:00 this morning, Rodger Zisk... local hotshot, plowed through that fence into these bees and got stung about 100 times.

Idiot. Okay, Sheriff.

Here's my list.

He knocked over five of my honeycombs worth $400 a piece.

Plus 20 feet of my fence.

Who's gonna pay for all that?

I'm sure he's insured, Ned.

He better be. That boy's a brat.

A drunken spoiled brat. He always has been!

I'm glad he got all stung and swollen.

Ned, why don't you head up to Lookout Point and see what you can do about those hornets nests.

We've got kids getting stung up there every day.

I'm going, I'm going.

But that punk owes me money.

The windows are up.

So what?

Why didn't he stay in the car?

He was surrounded by bees.

I would have just stayed put.

Yakkity yak yak.

What are you talking about?

(Sheriff Bates) He probably panicked.

Like I said, he was really wasted.

I don't think so.

I saw him just a few minutes before 8:00.

He drove right past... our house.

There was a branch in the road.

He swerved to avoid it, his reflexes were perfect.

He couldn't have been drunk.

He wasn't drunk?

He deliberately drove his car into this bee farm.

Why would anybody do that?

I don't know.

And Debbie Barnett isn't in Denver, she's been m*rder*d. That's right.

Have you seen a doctor about that bump?

It's not the bump.

It's some kind of midlife crisis.

All of a sudden he's not happy fixing roofs.

He's gotta be Captain America.

What is wrong with you?

He got beaned pretty hard on the head.

Huh.

We're printing up 4,000 of these.

And we're gonna have 'em put up.

We're gonna post them in post offices, truck stops, and drug stores.

Wait, wait, why the drug stores?

I figure he's gonna have to buy wipes sooner or later.

You know, Captain, the amnesia that you're describing to me is actually quite rare.

Maybe, but it's all we got.

I have no body. He hasn't contacted us.

He hasn't contacted Natalie.

Yeah, and we've notified every hospital in the country.

There's no sign of him.

Doctor, if I'm right and Monk is out there and he doesn't know who he is... what can we expect?

From a psychological standpoint, we'd be in uncharted territory.

Adrian would be in a complete disassociative state.

He would be like a pilot who's flying in the fog without any instruments.

He's gotta be scared to death.

But in a weird way, if he's not seriously hurt, this could actually help him.

See, Adrian has always had a problem detaching.

Looking at himself objectively.

So if you're right... he could be put there right now meeting himself for the very first time.

He's meeting himself?

Mmm.

That can't be good.

Hey, Jerry.

Jerry!

Hey, Jerry!

Could I, uh, talk to you a minute?

I've been thinking about what you said this morning about Rodger pretending to be drunk.

Now, we found some blood in his car.

It wasn't fresh, it was from the night before.

He hurt himself before the crash.

Someplace else.

Well, could be.

In the meantime, nobody's heard from Debbie Barnett.

Do you really think there's a connection?

Well, what do you think, Sheriff?

Mmm.

I'm gonna go over and talk to Rodger and see what he has to say. You wanna join me?

Yeah. Okay.

It's the biggest feed store in the county.

Rodger's father-in-law owns it.

He lets Rodger run it.

[coughing]

I don't wanna tell you what those bags smell like.

Well, that's exactly what they are.

That's fertilizer.

Oh, my God.

My God, this is worse than drug trafficking.

We gotta nail this guy.

Sheriff. Rodger.

How you feeling?

Ah, you know, I'll be all right.

People always said I had a swelled head.

I guess they're finally right.

What's he doing here?

You two met?

Yeah, you could say that.

Cora's new husband.

He's been helping me out today.

Yeah. Well, listen...

I mean, I know I did some damage out there, but just tell Ned I'm gonna take care of it.

You know I'm good for it.

I was out there this morning.

From the tire tracks, it looked like you stopped.

Then turned around and then drove into that bee farm.

You mean on purpose?

Are you kiddin'?

Look, you ever been stung 140 times?

Because it's no picnic.

Rodger, you know Debbie Barnett, right?

Yeah, sure.

They're mighty worried.

You haven't been seeing her, have you, Rodger?

Sheriff Bates, you're talking to a married man.

Did you know she was pregnant?

How would I know that?

You like Willie Nelson, Mr. Zisk?

Yeah, he's all right.

You are left-handed, isn't that right?

Carl, who is this guy?

Look, I got work to do.

Just educate this man, all right?

You tell him who he's talking to.

He's the guy.

Let's call the captain.

What captain?

I don't know.

Jerry, I like your style.

As a matter of fact...

I've been looking for a deputy.

A deputy?

The sheriff said I would make a great detective.

He said I was a natural.

He said he would sponsor me.

Help me with the application.

Well, forget that.

Cora...

Darling. I think he's right.

Listen...

[cat meows]

The truth is, I don't like myself very much.

I have all these strange habits.

I'm nervous all the time.

But when I was there today, at the scene of the crime, suddenly it all made sense.

Things were clicking in my head.

Click click.

I'm not living with a cop.

I hate cops. You're a roofer, understand?

Conversation's over.

Yes, darling.

I told you to stop dreaming.

Now, sit down here.

You trust me, don't you?

I love you.

And...

You love me. Say it.

I love you.

I'll meet you in the bedroom.

I've been waiting a long time for this.

What about our honeymoon?

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

That was magical.

Sit down right here.

And put your hands like this.

Now, lean in.

Trudy.

Trudy.

The name's Cora.

Uh, I'm sorry. I'm remembering something.

Uh, there's a woman.

I think I'm having an affair.

With a woman named Trudy.

I forgive you.

I think I love her.

I don't care.

The truth is, I'm not so... attracted to you.

Whatever.

The truth is, um... you sort of terrify me.

Hey, there's no such thing as a perfect marriage.

Right.

All right, look, this is my fault.

It's too much pressure.

Let's get out of here.

We'll be spontaneous, huh?

Hey, I know!

Let's go to Lookout Point.

That's where all the kids go.

Oh, no, we can't, no.

Uh, no, remember, the Sheriff said they were having a problem up there with bees and hornets.

Everybody's getting... stung.

Cora.

Should I lie down?

I think I just solved the case.

Great, thank you.

Natalie.

Natalie, hey.

We found him. Is he okay?

We're not sure.

A trucker saw one of the flyers, called in.

Said he dropped him off in Wyoming sometime yesterday.

Wyoming?

Yeah, it's a little town called Pernell.

It's out in the middle of nowhere.

The FBI's loaning us a jet and we can be there in two hours.

Is he sure? Was it really Mr. Monk?

The trucker gave the guy a $5 bill, and the guy kept smoothing it out.

Oh, he's alive!

Ooh!

[bees buzzing]

[bee buzzing]

God! There's a bee in the car.

Well, there's about 20,000 of them out here and they don't like visitors.

Here, put this on. All right.

There you go. One size fits all.

How's that feel?

Aargh! Now, try to relax.

That's the most important thing.

Bees and hornets can smell fear.

The more nervous you get, the sweeter you are to them.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

There you go, jump in there.

Easy does it. There you go.

Don't panic, now. Don't move fast.

Get your arm in there.

Yeah. Good.

I got it, I got it.

Sweet as candy.

Put your arm in there.

That's good. It's all good.

Sheriff, we got something.

We found her.

County coroner's on his way.

Poor kid.

How did you know where she was?

Oh, it just seemed obvious.

Obvious to you.

Yeah, here's what I think, uh...

Happened?

Yeah. Yeah.

You were right about Debbie and Rodger Zisk.

They were having an affair.

On Friday night, she must have told him she was pregnant.

She probably threatened to tell his wife.

And that was just something Rodger just couldn't allow.

He brought the body up here to dump it.

But he forgot about the bees.

Ow!

They probably stung him 100 times.

Now Rodger had a problem.

Eventually, somebody was going to find Debbie's body here, surrounded by bees.

When they did, they might remember that Rodger showed up the next day covered with bee stings.

How would he explain that?

He had to get stung again.

This time in public so that he could explain the bee stings.

Ow. Ow.

Help! Somebody get 'em off me!

He had guts, I'll give him that.

Mm-hmm.

You figured all that out?

Actually, I'm a roofer.

I'm just glad to help out.

Excuse me, is your g*n loaded?

Yeah.

Could you do me a favor?

Could you k*ll me?

Please.

Why didn't you just stay in the car?

There's a bee in the car!

There's a bee in the car.

I'm gonna wake up the judge.

Then I'm gonna wake up Mr. Zisk.

I... I work with you.

I work with all of you.

You're a detective.

You're a great detective from San Francisco.

You were married to a woman named Trudy.

Yes, I know about Trudy.

Natalie.

That's right.

I bet you have a million questions.

Yes, I do. What's my name?

Adrian.

No, really, what's my name?

Adrian.

Really? Yeah.

Okay.

Mr. Monk.

Sheriff.

If you're looking for a job, my offer's still good.

I appreciate it, but I have to get back to San Francisco.

I have a life, more or less.

Well, don't be a stranger.

I mean, to yourself.

That's good advice.

I missed you.

I missed you.

Cora.

Roof's leaking again. You're a terrible roofer.

That's true.

I knew it wouldn't last.

You probably hate me.

No. No, I don't hate you, Cora.

I'm not pressing charges.

You don't like me, though. I don't know.

We haven't really met, have we?

Monk.

We gotta go.

Ye-ye.