05x02 - Mr. Monk and the Garbage Strike

[bunniefuu]

[trolley bell rings]

The longest garbage strike in the history of San Francisco continues and there is still no end in sight.

On every street corner, the trash continues to pile up.

Negotiations between the city and the sanitation workers have completely broken down.

So, how are residents coping?

Well, so far, the people of San Francisco can be very proud of themselves.

No one is panicking.

In fact, it seems everybody is rising to the occasion, coming together, and taking this latest crisis in stride.

See?

That's better, right?

No! That smells worse than the garbage.

[muffled] Worse. [sighs]

Okay, fine, I'll put it out.

Uh, Natalie.

What am I gonna do?

The whole city reeks.

I'm starting to get used to it.

You are? Really?

[low] Then, you're gonna love hell.

[coughs] All right, look, listen.

I-I-I gotta get outta town.

Let's just get in the car.

And go somewhere upwind, please.

Mr. Monk, I can't just leave. I have Julie here.

It's a school week. We'll take her with us.

I'll teach the girl.

[desperately] I'll tutor the girl.

She's not up to fractions, yet, is she?

Listen. Listen. It's a truck.

That sounds like a garbage truck, right?

Mr. Monk, it's not a garbage truck.

They've settled the strike. It's all over!

T-turn on the news.

Uh. False alarm.

It's a...bus.

[TV clicks on]

(man) All we want--

All we've ever wanted is a fair contract for ourselves and for our families.

This union is willing to stay out for as long as it takes.

Two weeks! Two months!

We will never back down!

We will never surrender!

It's all his fault.

[mocking] Jimmy Cusack.

Hate that guy. Wish he was dead.

Don't say that.

I do. I wish he was dead.

What if something happened to him?

You'd feel terrible. No, I wouldn't.

Yeah, you would. No. I wouldn't.

Yeah, you would.

(news reporter) ...is very much for real and shows no signs of coming to an end.

Oh, Mr. Cusack, I didn't see you.

Mr. Cusack?

Madre de dios!

[Randy Newman ragtime theme]

* It's a jungle out there

* Disorder and confusion everywhere *

* No one seems to care

* Well, I do

* Hey, who's in charge here?

* It's a jungle out there

* Poison in the very air we breathe *

* You know what's in the water that you drink? *

* Well, I do, and it's a-ma-zing *

* People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time *

* If you paid attention, you'd be worried too *

* You'd better pay attention or this world we love so much *

* Might just k*ll you

* I could be wrong now

* But, I don't think so

* 'Cause it's a jungle out there *

* It's a jungle out there *

[breathes hard]

Uh, you called for pick-up?

Yeah! Thank you.

Right there. Thank you.

Ah!

Watch the woodwork.

Uh...

There's no address on these.

I know.

Just send 'em anywhere. It doesn't matter.

Well, we can't just send 'em anywhere, sir.

We gotta have an address.

Don't you guys have a...depot...place?

So, you can just 'em in a corner?

"Put 'em in a corner"?

O-Okay, okay.

All right, uh--

What--uh, what's your address?

Have a nice day, sir.

All right, okay!

All right. Okay, hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Okay, just a second.

All right.

Okay, there it is.

There's--there's--

There's the address.

And that's where you send it.

Right there.

Thank you very-- Watch the woodwork.

Mm-mm.

Watch the trim.

Mm-mm.

All right.

What were you doing?

Uh, oh, nothing. Nothing...

[door shuts]

Where's your garbage? [coughs]

Did you just mail your garbage to somebody?

These are desperate times, Natalie.

[whispers] Desperate times.

What?

Are you happy?

No.

Got your wish.

Wha--? No.

Y-you think I did this?

Yeah. I think you did.

With your karma!

You said you wanted the guy dead.

I was joking. It's a figure of speech.

Well, Mr. Monk, you need to be careful what you wish for.

Look.

Because of his death, the union has stopped all negotiations.

Nobody's talking.

The strike's gonna go on for years.

Good job.

(union members) Union! Union!

Union! Union!

Union! Union! I've known Jimmy Cusack--

[chanting stops]

I've known Jimmy Cusack my whole life.

His old man and my old man came up together.

They rode the same truck.

Now, Jimmy had a temper.

And Jimmy had his problems.

But he was not suicidal. No way, no how!

Damn straight!

[yelling]

Now, Mayor Nicholson and his lap dogs down at the police department...

They're telling us the case is closed.

[shouting]

Here's what we say.

Mayor Nickelson, you can go to hell!

[loud cheers]

Union!

[chanting "Union!"]

You...

[chanting stops] Hello.

Hello.

[blows loudly into mic]

My name--

My name is Adrian Monk.

Uh...

I-I am not technically a sanitation worker.

Although, I have always felt like one.

[quietly] In spirit...

I recognize a lot of you.

Ronnie, Morris.

Excuse me, sir?

We appreciate your support.

But this is a closed meeting.

I-I won't be long.

I just wanted to say--

You've made your point.

Congratulations! We get it now.

You can all go back to work. Union!

Now, w-w-wait a minute.

What about our contract?

(all) Yeah? Okay.

Okay, I know money is important.

Damn right.

But, that's not why you guys became garbage men, is it?

You're doing God's work out there.

You're keeping the streets clean for the people.

Right?

You do it-- Say it with me--

For the people.

Oh, and let me tell you something.

The people are suffering.

The people--

People are going a little nuts out there.

The people...can't wash the stink off their hands.

The people are having trouble sleeping.

People woke up this morning at 5:00.

Couldn't get back to sleep because--

Smelled like a buffalo had d*ed in the people's closets!

[scoffing]

Sir, excuse me.

Excuse me, sir?

Are you Adrian Monk, the detective?

Y-yeah, that's right.

We've heard a lot about you, Mr. Monk.

You're a great detective and from what we can tell, you're an honest man.

You're on your own, right?

You're not working for the cops?

I'm a private consultant.

Well, good.

Then, you'll be an objective voice.

We wanna hire you.

Hire me?

We want you to look into what happened to Jimmy Cusack.

If you say it's a su1c1de, that'll be good enough for us.

We'll go back to the bargaining table.

I'm pretty sure it was a su1c1de.

How can you tell?

Don't you have to, you know, look around?

Investigate?

Yeah...

[under breath] That's right.

[coughs]

Uh.

[hyperventilates slightly]

Jimmy Cusack was sitting there.

Yup.

Okay.

But, there was... somebody else...here.

And they--he had his feet up.

And he ate all the cashews.

What does that mean?

He probably liked the cashews the best.

[coughs]

Damn... You okay?

Yeah, I just--

I'm just--just hard to think.

It's the smell.

[to herself] It's the smell.

[coughs]

Okay. Give me the timeline.

I've got it right here.

Now, Cusack was last seen alive in here sitting at his desk at around 9:30.

Cleaning crew found him this morning at 7:00.

Our coroner said the body had been cold about seven hours.

So, midnight...

Was he upset about something or--or depressed?

Besides the whole city hating his guts, as a matter of fact, he was.

Ron!

This is Ron Nealy.

He's the chief accountant with the union.

Adrian Monk.

I was, uh, going through the books yesterday, getting ready for the next round of talks, and I found a few...irregularities.

300 grand from the pension fund went poof.

304.2, actually. Yeah.

I called Jimmy about midnight and asked him about it.

What--what did he say?

He kind of groaned.

And then he said, "What took you so long?"

Oh--

That--

That sounds like su1c1de.

But, you are the independent investigator and you have to decide for yourself.

I'm gonna say su1c1de.

su1c1de it is.

Thank you, Mr. Nealy.

That was easy.

W-w-w-w-ait.

N-n-no. You haven't even looked around.

I did. I looked around. N-n-n-no.

You didn't do the thing. You know.

With your hands.

With your hands...

Go on.

Come on.

He was left-handed?

He's holding the g*n in his right hand.

His left hand was bandaged.

So, he--

He probably... sprained his wrist and couldn't hold the g*n in his left.

What, what?

The b*llet hole and the blood spatter.

He must have been sitting all the way back in this chair.

How did he... raise his arm?

There's no room.

These are the b*ll*ts from the g*n.

That's strange.

What?

No fingerprints.

They've been wiped clean.

So, why would anyone who's about to k*ll himself... wipe the fingerprints off the b*ll*ts?

Whoa, whoa, wait.

What are you saying? It was m*rder?

Yeah.

[shouting]

Captain, Captain!

Captain! [coughs] Aw...

Man.

Mr. Monk, who hired you?

Well, the sanitation union asked me to look at the evidence.

And what do you think? Was the coroner right?

Well--

[loud clatter]

Uh--

Mr. Monk, was this su1c1de or m*rder?

No, no, no, no.

There was no m*rder.

This is definitely su1c1de.

Well, let's try and get everybody back to the bargaining table and get all this garbage off the street.

(reporter) Okay, well, thank you.

(Monk) Thank you.

Of course there will be a formal inquest.

But, as of this moment, the police department is completely satisfied that union president Jimmy Cusack d*ed by his own hand.

Now that conclusion has just been verified by Adrian Monk, a distinguished independent investigator.

[shouting] Captain! Captain!

So, you're saying the case is closed?

It is.

As far as I'm concerned, the case is closed.

Thank you. [reporters shouting]

[grunts]

[water runs]

[door hits the wall]

What?

You know what.

Mr. Monk, I'm so.... disappointed in you.

What took you so long?

Mr. Monk, you li back there.

About a m*rder case!

[sighs] Oh, great.

Okay, look.

I'm not 100% sure it was m*rder.

It could have been su1c1de.

Detective Thurber agrees with me.

Mr. Monk, I was with you.

You showed me all the evidence-- the--the blood on the chair, no fingerprints on the b*ll*ts--

Natalie, obviously, you don't understand.

Some things are bigger than the truth.

Like what?

Like that mountain of garbage out...there!

[water runs]

The truth is buried alive out there.

Look at me. Seriously.

I don't think that I can work for a dishonest man.

It was for the greater good.

You've heard of that, right?

The greater good? Turn on the news!

They resume negotiations. Everybody's talking again.

I am the hero here.

You are not a hero, Mr. Monk.

You are letting a k*ller go free so you can get your garbage picked up.

Okay, Natalie.

Let me explain one more time.

About the greater good.

[flies buzz]

(Natalie) You think I'm joking, Mr. Monk.

I'm not kidding, okay?

Now, come on!

Okay, now--now not a good time.

Okay, you know what? This is enough!

I know you think that I'm kidding. I can't just go in there--

I'm not gonna show up tomorrow.

Can I help you? This is it!

All right. Tell him.

Okay. All right.

What?

[mumbles] It was a m*rder.

Louder!

It was m*rder.

You're not talking about the Jimmy Cusack case, are you?

Yeah, Mr. Monk here saw some stuff at the crime scene he's failed to mention.

He thinks it's a homicide.

It was for the G.G.

Th-the greater good! The G.G.

Captain, it was--

[pitifully] The stench out there.

The stench!

I-I can't think straight.

A smell like that can k*ll!

People die from smells every day.

That's a fact.

That is a beautiful suit.

Monk!

20 minutes ago I went on the record defending your su1c1de theory.

I was on TV!

My name was across the screen.

I'm gonna look like an idiot.

Call--call Larry Cutler at the mayor's office.

Get him on the phone right now.

Dial faster. I'm dialing.

Dial like the wind!

Are you happy now? Someone had to do it.

Larry, hey, it's Randy Disher.

Hey, Larry.

Uh, yeah, I'm here with Adrian Monk.

Listen, he's having second thoughts about the Jimmy Cusack su1c1de.

Ah, why do I have to be so good? I know...

Why can't I be like a regular detective like--

[phone clicks]

The deputy mayor wants to see you.

This is the main rotunda, the heart of City Hall.

The acoustics in this room are a little bit...quirky.

I need two volunteers.

Okay, you two.

Go over there.

Keep going.

Okay, now whisper something to each other.

Be very quiet.

[whispers] This is so boring.

[echoes] Yeah, I know.

[echoes] I hope they have a gift shop.

It's called the whisper spot. Isn't that cool?

All right, come with me.

Now, I wanna show you the mailroom.

Ah, I still--smell it.

Well, it's the same air.

Did you think City Hall was some kind of magical place like the land of Oz where nothing bad ever happens?

Yes, yes. I did.

I did too.

Larry. Captain Stottlemeyer.

How are you doing?

It's the worst week of my life.

Thanks for asking.

I'm 30 years old.

I'm eating antacids like they're M&M's.

Is this Monk?

Yes. Hello.

I didn't quite understand about the M and Ms.

It was a joke, Mr. Monk.

But, here's a real joke.

20 minutes ago, the union hears a rumor about you changing your mind.

Boom, it all hit the fan.

The negotiations are kaput.

The union walked out.

Nobody's talking. It's over!

[knocking]

Mr. Mayor, I'm so sorry.

There's a man here says he's a former detective.

He's out there mumbling something about his wife and car b*mb.

Mr. Mayor, I'm sorry-- to interrupt.

I know you're very busy. My name's Adrian Monk.

W-wait. Detective Monk?

Come on in. Dennis, it's fine.

Karen, it's okay. Mr. Monk is on our team.

I hope.

So, Adrian Monk, we meet at last. Yeah.

You know, my predecessor, Mayor Dunaway, said some really great things about you.

You have an amazing track record.

Well... Go ahead. Please, sit down.

I, uh--I'm okay.

I'm--I'm--I'm fine, sir.

Oh, yes. [laughs]

You know, my garbage hasn't been collected either.

We're all in this together, Mr. Monk.

[uninterested] Mm-hmm.

Did, uh, you talk to the deputy mayor?

Yes. Yes, yes, I did.

He explained the situation.

Right.

Frankly, we're stuck.

Nobody's talking. Nobody trusts anybody.

We gotta solve this Jimmy Cusack case ASAP.

All right. What do you think?

Okay, uh, here's the thing, Mr. Mayor.

Even if I do find the man who k*lled Jimmy Cusack, even if the strike ends tomorrow, it's not gonna solve the big problem.

What problem is that?

Your Honor, we have got to, um--

[loud crunch]

You've got to face facts.

The city...is ruined forever. It's a total loss.

Even if we clean up all the garbage tomorrow, we'll never get the stink out.

It's like the dining room carpet when the cat makes a--a B.M. on there.

I mean, what do you?

You don't have any choice really.

You gotta replace the carpet!

You gotta [laughs nervously]--

You gotta get rid of the cat.

And you can never eat in that dining room again, can you?

No, you can't.

But, I do have a plan.

I have a plan. [crunch]

Oh, good. [crunching]

Yes...sir.

It just came to me last night in a vision.

[grunts] One, we evacuate the city.

Every man, woman, and child.

Evacuate-- Two!

We burn it down We just burn it.

Scorched earth.

Huh.

Then, just to be safe, we collect all the ashes.

And what do we do?

We burn the ashes--Three.

We bring everybody back and we start over.

Think of it. Just think of it.

We rebuild San Francisco.

From scratch.

Start fresh. Everything clean.

Everything brand-new.

Gonna have that new city smell. Fresh off the lot.

We can even straighten out Lombard Street while we're at it.

Maybe. Yeah! Yeah!

But, sir, if you don't write it down, you'll--you'll forget it.

[crunch]

Sir.

Oh, I don't think I'm gonna forget this.

So--you'll think about it. Oh, yes!

Yes, absolutely.

I promise.

Yeah, but, Mr. Monk.

I'm gonna need you to promise me something.

Anything.

I want you to promise that you're gonna get some sleep before you start working on this m*rder case.

[sighs and chuckles] Yeah.

Are you okay?

Scuff marks...

Oh, yeah, yeah!

New shoes. Yeah, no big deal.

You like cashews?

Oh, yeah, my wife says I like 'em too much.

Here, help yourself.

No, no, thanks.

I'm gonna go--back to Jimmy Cusack's office and have a look around.

Oh. Yeah.

Ever been there?

Jimmy Cusack's office?

No, never have.

Well, you let me know if you find something, now.

Keep me in the loop. Funny--

I was talking to somebody.

They said they thought they saw you there the night he d*ed.

Well, they're mistaken.

What would I be doing in Jimmy Cusack's office?

He hated my guts. Everybody knew that.

Right.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to make some calls right now.

So, good luck to you, Mr. Monk.

Yeah.

Anything you need, be sure and let me know, okay?

Right.

There he is!

Where were you?

I...was upstairs talking to the mayor.

You were in his office?

I just broke the Cusack case wide open.

You have a suspect. Oh, yeah.

I have a suspect.

Well, who is it? Okay--

But, you can't tell anybody. This is big.

This is going to rip the city apart.

Shh-shh-shh.

[whispers] Reporters.

Over here.

[whispers] Okay--

Hang on, hang on.

Just a little bit further. Just to make sure.

[exasperated] What is it?

Okay, but you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone until I am 100% sure!

Absolutely. What--

'Cause if I am right, this is gonna be the biggest

[echoes] story of the year!

The mayor was in Jimmy Cusack's office the night he was k*lled.

Are you saying the mayor is--

Mayor Nickelson's the guy?

I am saying he was involved.

He is definitely hiding something.

Wow. I mean, wow.

(Natalie, echoing) What do we do?

I don't know. But, Monk is right.

We have to be very careful.

Nobody says a word. Not a--

[loudly] Oh, hell.

[reporters clamoring] Captain, Captain!

(all, chanting) Enough is enough!

Enough is enough! Enough is enough!

[over bullhorn] Mayor Nickelson!

You cannot hide in there forever.

[shouting]

We know what you did!

You have blood on your hands!

[shouting]

(Union VP) What do we want?

(crowd) Justice for Jimmy!

(Union VP) What do we want?

(crowd) Justice for Jimmy!

What do we want?

(all) Justice for Jimmy!

Enough is enough!

[chanting] Enough is enough!

[cheers]

Ah, I've done it again.

Made the situation worse.

[sighs]

The union wants the mayor indicted for m*rder.

The mayor's denying everything.

And I haven't slept in nine days.

[glass shattering]

[whines] It keeps piling up.

I always hated garbage.

Even when I was a kid.

We lived 2.2 miles from the city dump.

I used to lie in bed. Smelling it.

Had nightmares all the time.

About trash bags.

Piling up outside. Higher and higher...

Until we couldn't leave the house.

[choking] We were buried alive.

crash!

And now, it's coming true.

Dr. Kroger?

Adrian, have you been sending me your trash?

[laughs in disbelief]

[scoffs] No-o.

See...

I've been getting boxes of trash sent to me in the mail.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Now, Adrian, don't deny it.

It's all sorted according to color and food groups.

It's your handwriting on the label.

It's upsetting my wife.

It's upsetting my children.

And I want it to stop. crash!

Adrian, do you hear me? I want it to stop!

I want it to stop too. [cries]

(Monk) Uh!

[coughs] Oh!

Mr. Monk, maybe we missed him.

No, he always uses this door to avoid the press.

He'll be out soon.

He has to go home sometime.

Yeah, so do I.

Uh, it looks like rain!

That'll help, right? It'll wash away the stench.

Yeah...

Contaminate the city's water supply.

Probably k*ll half a million people.

Yeah, that's the spirit.

Oh, Your Honor!

Mr. Mayor!

That's the guy. Get him outta here!

Sir, this will only take a minute.

You know, let him through.

Let him through. I wanna talk to this guy.

Mr. Monk, do you have idea what you've done to me?

I've been accused of a lot of things.

Matter of fact, I've been accused of just about everything.

But, this?

[thunder]

We asked you to look into a man's death.

We never expected you to accuse the mayor of homicide!

No, no, you have to understand.

He's having a really tough week.

Tougher than this?

Here's the thing.

It might be months before there's an indictment.

Then, there's the trial, which could take forever.

The union won't go back to work until there is a verdict.

What do you want me to do?

Well, if it isn't too inconvenient...

I was thinking, maybe, you could--confess and then resign temporarily...

Okay...sir!

Sir, you were in Jimmy Cusack's office that night.

W-why are you lying about that?

Sir, don't answer that.

The mayor was at home Monday night with his wife all night from 8:00 on.

You have any other questions, submit them to the District Attorney's office.

Okay, let's go, sir.

I see you found my umbrella. Where was it?

It was in a drugstore downtown on Minton Street.

Somebody turned it in.

A drugstore? I was never in any drugstore.

Here, take this.

Nat--uh...

Natalie.

Was it raining Monday night?

I think so, Mr. Monk. Why?

Oh, you mean the plaid umbrella?

Yeah, I found it, uh, Tuesday morning.

I was punching out. It was right over here.

It said "Property of City Hall," so...I dropped it off.

Is there a reward?

Yeah. You did the right thing. That's your reward.

Jimmy Cusack was k*lled right around midnight, just up the street.

Do you have any more of these Odor Eaters?

How many do you need?

Oh, about... a trillion.

All right, Mr. Decker, back to the umbrella.

Did you notice who left it?

No.

Do you happen to have the sales receipts from that night?

Maybe.

Is there a reward?

Here's one from 1:00 AM, sir.

You wanna tell me what this is all about?

No.

Okay. Fair enough.

Here it is.

Here it is.

12:24 AM. He paid cash.

Bottled water.

A pack of Belgium Gold cigarettes.

And...

A wrist bandage.

Of course!

Here's what happened..

The mayor snuck into Jimmy Cusack's office sh*t him in the head.

He made it look like a su1c1de.

Then, he realized that he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

Because Jimmy Cusack was left-handed.

Nobody would ever believe he would sh**t himself with this right hand.

But, Jimmy Cusack was already dead.

What could the Mayor do?

(Stottlemeyer) Put a bandage on the other wrist.

(Monk) Exactly!

He walked two blocks, came in here, bought the wrist bandage, then he went back to Jimmy Cusack's office and made it look like Jimmy Cusack had a sprained left hand.

And it would have worked too, except...

(Natalie) He forgot his umbrella.

Well, it should be easy enough to prove.

He's the mayor, for God's sake.

Who rang this up?

Let's see.

It says, uh...

Cashier number one.

Oh, that would be me.

Well, do you remember who you sold that to?

Maybe I do.

There's no reward. I have no idea.

There's so many people that come here.

It could have been anybody. We get all kinds in here.

Okay. Was it him?

[amused] The mayor?

What would the mayor be doing in my store at 12:30 in the morning? [paper snaps]

Buying a wrist bandage!

No. I-it wasn't him. [paper snaps]

It was him.

It wasn't him. [paper snaps]

[paper snaps]

It was him!

No, it wasn't him.

[quietly] It was him.

Look, I'm not an idiot. I think I would notice if the mayor of San Francisco was in my store at 12:30 in the morning!

It wasn't...him.

[paper snaps]

So, you were wrong?

'Cause usually when you say, "Here's what happened"... it's pretty much what happened.

Yeah, but it's the stench. It's everywhere.

I-I-I can't possibly--

It wasn't the mayor, Monk!

Aw, hell. Hell.

I'm gonna have to go out to the press and retract everything!

So? What's the big deal?

Oh, like he's never been wrong before?

No.

No, he hasn't.

Thank God you're here.

He's having some sort of breakdown.

He won't even talk to me.

What the hell's he doing?

He's cleaning up San Francisco single-handedly.

Hey, Captain! Lieutenant!

Where did he get the truck?

He told the dispatcher it was a police emergency.

He's like a vigilante.

A garbage vigilante.

You could say that, but don't.

Hey, Monk!

How ya doing?

So far so fabulous!

I've done seven... eight...nine houses.

Well, good for you.

That looks great. Yeah.

You intend to clean up the entire city up by yourself?

Well... that's the plan, Stan.

Street by street.

One bag at a time.

One...bag...at a time.

One bag at a time.

Where you gonna put the garbage?

I got it all figured.

When this truck's full, gonna drive it into the bay.

Then come back, get another truck.

Keep driving 'em into the bay.

One bag at a time. One truck at a time.

One bag at a time.

[mutters] One truck at time.

Well, so long as you got a plan.

[laughs] Yeah!

But, Mr. Monk, the case, remember? Jimmy Cusack.

[laughs hysterically]

I forgot to tell you.

I solved that case about an hour ago.

W-wait. You solved the case?

Take a look, take a look, take a little look.

This was stapled to a telephone pole that was right in front of us the whole time.

He's the guy!

Who's the guy? Alice Cooper?

Are you telling us that Alice Cooper, the rock star, k*lled Jimmy Cusack?

First off, I don't think Alice Cooper is his real name.

Take a closer look.

He is sitting in an antique wingback chair.

The same kind of chair Jimmy Cusack was sitting in when he was k*lled.

Check this out.

What? Check out the date.

April 5th. Monday night.

Same night as the m*rder. Coincidence?

Yeah, coincidence.

Ahhhh! No.

No, we were--we were looking at this case all wrong.

'Cause it never was about Cusack.

It was never about the garbage strike.

And it was never about the Sanitation Union.

It was about the chair.

[in a sing-song] The antique chair.

The antique wingback Cusack chair!

Here's what happened...

It is no secret that rock and roll stars collect antiques.

Especially antique chairs.

(Stottlemeyer) What the hell are you talking about?

(Monk) Alice Cooper must have read about Jimmy Cusack's handcrafted wingback chair.

He was consumed with envy!

He was consumed with resentment!

Alice had to possess the fairest antique wingbackchair in all the land.

Uh!

Should I be writing this down?

Nope.

(Monk) It's true. [rock music]

Alice Cooper is a hippie.

But he's the bad kind of hippie.

He's the kind of hippie that breaks into people's offices and beats them up and sh**t them in the head.

Why?

To steal their antique chairs.

Why didn't he take the chair?

Hello!

It had a b*llet hole in it.

It had blood on it. He didn't want it anymore.

He could have washed it. Randy.

I don't think we need to stand here and pick apart the-Alice-Cooper-wants an-antique-chair theory.

If you will excuse me, I have a city to clean.

One bag at a time!

One bag at a time.

[mumbles] One bag at a time.

One bag at a time.

[compactor hums]

Oh, oh! I got it!

I got it. Hold on.

It's all up to me! I got it!

It's all up...to me!

It's all up to me! Oh, God!

One bag at a time!

It might be time to call Dr. Kroger.

Ah!

I got an idea. Stinkin' trash!

Hey, help me get him to the car.

Ah!

You can sit over there.

Don't touch anything.

Thanks, Barry. Thank the old man too.

[door closes]

Ah...

Feeling better?

Where are we?

It's called a fabrication room.

This is where they assemble their new circuit boards.

I know the guy in charge of their security.

He owed me a favor.

I can't smell anything.

That's right.

They have their own oxygen supply.

It is 100% germ free.

[incredulously] Germ...free?

Adrian Monk, you are sitting in the cleanest room in the world.

It's quiet too.

[sighs] Yeah.

Well. We haven't got all day.

They're kicking us out at 2:00.

So, why don't we just kick back and enjoy ourselves.

[sighs] I can feel my head.

Clearing up.

That's good.

It wasn't Alice Cooper.

I know.

Leland.

I got it.

I just...got it.

Remember that receipt from the drugstore?

The guy that bought that wrist bandage also bought some cigarettes.

That's right. Belgium Gold.

(Monk) The union accountant, Ron Nealy, was smoking imported cigarettes.

The box said Belgium Gold!

(Stottlemeyer) The accountant.

Well, that makes sense. He ran the pension fund.

He could have been skimming money for years.

And he was about to get caught.

He knew they'd be going over the books as part of the negotiation.

Here's what happened...

I mean--

Here's what really happened...

Nealy k*lled Cusack and made it look like a su1c1de.

(Stottlemeyer) But he screwed up.

Then he had to run out and buy a wrist bandage.

That makes sense.

But wait.

He grabbed the mayor's umbrella.

(Monk) Yes, he did.

(Stottlemeyer) How did he get it?

(Monk) The mayor left it there.

The mayor was in Cusack's office earlier that night.

They were meeting secretly trying to settle the strike.

Officially, the two sides were not supposed to be talking.

That's why the mayor could never admit he was there.

It would have been political su1c1de.

Monk.

I have been b*rned twice this week already.

Are you sure about this?

I mean, are you absolutely sure?

That's good enough for me.

The captain looks so happy.

Everybody's happy. It's a great day.

Listen. [trucks approaching]

Here! Here they come!

This is it!

Here it comes. Get ready.

Gentlemen!

Hey, boys!

Welcome back!

You're a sight for sore eyes!

[Monk and Natalie cheering]

It's a great day!

You're a sight for sore eyes, gentlemen!

Whoo!

We missed you!

Ho-ho, Mr. Monk, our hero.

Oh, no, you're the hero!

No, you're the hero.

No, you're the her-- We're all heroes!

Except for Natalie.

One bag at a time, gentlemen, that's the way we do it.

Don't forget the bag of water.

Thank you, Morris. Thank you, guys.

No, we should be thanking you.

You saved our pension fund.

And you got us a brand-new contract.

Anything you want, Mr. Monk, you let us know.

All right.

You guys do great work.

Great work.

Whoa! Whoa-whoa.

Wait, wait, hold it.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

What about this, the confetti?

You just can't... leave that there.

Right?

I mean, uh, you can't leave that.

Thank you.

I wouldn't have thrown it if I thought it was gonna stay in the street.

Um, how 'bout, uh, probably start back around--

There's a little bit around the corner there.

Yeah, this is good, right here.

And then you might want to make sure you get under the-- under the paper.

That's it--whoa, no!

Natalie, Natalie. Don't--don't--

Don't you do that. Let them do that.

It's their job. Sorry.

It's their job.

You work for me, remember, not for them.