08x05 - Mr. Monk Takes the Stand

[bunniefuu]

Here's what happened.

You were in the middle of a very messy, very expensive divorce, and you wanted to get rid of your wife.

That is absurd. Do I have to listen to this?

Yes, you do.

What you needed was an alibi.

First, you ordered a two-ton slab of marble.

Then you went to work, but you weren't sculpting just another statue.

You were sculpting an alibi, a perfect alibi.

You had it all worked out, down to the last... Hold it!

Hold it! Don't say another word.

Excuse me, sir, this is a private conversation.

Yeah, this conversation's over, unless you want to talk to me, but I cannot promise that I would listen, detective.

And you are?

I'm Harrison Powell. I'm Mr. Gildea's attorney.

I just moved up from Los Angeles.

And you must be Mr. Adrian monk.

I saw your profile on in focus.

Very impressive.

Thank you. I was just explaining to... yeah, why don't you tell it to the judge?

We're denying everything categorically.

Okay? Have a nice day.

Come on, Evan. Let's go.

You look like a man who could use a drink.

Evan, let's go. They can't keep you here.

It's okay.

Harrison, it's too late. They know everything.

They have all this evidence against me.

No, they have no evidence against you.

They have nothing, okay?

You're an innocent man that's been unjustly accused.

And I'm gonna prove all that when we get to court.

Harrison, it's Adrian monk.

He's never lost a case in his life.

Well, neither have I. This'll be great.

[Randy Newman ragtime theme]

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ disorder and confusion everywhere ♪

♪ No one seems to care

♪ well, I do

♪ hey, who's in charge here?

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ poison in the very air we breathe ♪

♪ Do you know what's in the water that you drink? ♪

♪ Well, I do, and it's a-ma-zing ♪

♪ People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time ♪

♪ If you paid attention, you'd be worried too ♪

♪ You'd better pay attention or this world we love so much ♪

♪ Might just k*ll you

♪ I could be wrong now

♪ but I don't think so

♪ 'cause it's a jungle out there ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

Good morning. Hey!

And in this corner district attorney Charles friedkin.

How you feeling, champ?

Are you guys ready?

Did you all do your homework?

Charlie, relax, we've testified at 100 trials.

112. Well, I'm just making sure.

Now did everyone review the grand jury transcripts and the follow-up reports?

Mr. Friedkin, don't worry.

They can do this in their sleep.

In fact, on at least two occasions, lt. Disher has.

Well, nobody's sleeping today.

Harrison Powell is the prince of darkness, so be careful up there.

Don't volunteer anything.

If you don't remember something, just say you don't remember.

He's guilty, right?

So was oj.

Hey, speak of the devil.

Devil appears. Gentlemen. Ms. Teeger.

Mr. Gildea, that's a nice suit.

I wonder how you'll look in pinstripes.

Harrison, my offer's still on the table.

This is your last chance.

Here's my final offer to you.

You drop the case, make a public apology to my client, you save the taxpayers a lot of money.

I'm offering you a gift, Charlie.

You can keep the police from looking like chimpanzees with g*ns.

[Laughs]

Okay, I'll see you all inside.

Under oath this time.

And I hate you.

"Chimpanzees with g*ns."

See? Charlie, don't sweat it.

He's all talk.

Captain stottlemeyer, could you describe the events of October 2 for the jury?

Yes, sir.

Approximately at 8:00 A.M. my team and I responded to a suspicious death call at 104 pickens drive.

The housekeeper had discovered the body.

Who had d*ed?

Nancy gildea.

Nancy gildea. I was just reading about her.

She was married to that famous artist.

Evan gildea. They were separated.

Very separated. I guess these are some of his.

Uh, this is amazing.

Look at that. It's perfect.

Mr. Monk, that's a display stand.

The art is out here. Oh.

Well, that's junk.

Well, the m.E. Says she's been dead about 12 hours.

Mm-hmm, so that's about 8:00 last night.

Yes, sir. Looks like a straight-up break-in.

Punches a hole through this window.

Opens the door from the inside.

She wakes up. They fight.

He takes that statue from here, hits her once, base of the skull...

Medulla oblongata. k*lled her instantly.

Nah, I don't think so. That hole's pretty small.

I don't think anyone could fit their hand through there.

Sure they could.

And did you determine whether monk was right?

Yes, sir. Lt. Disher ran a field test to be certain.

Ow. [Groaning] Ow, ow, ow.

Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt.

I saw lt. Disher in the hall before the trial.

I couldn't help but notice both of his hands were bandaged.

Yes, ma'am.

Um, he wanted to be sure, so he tried it again with the other arm.

He tried it again?

He's very thorough.

[Hiccups]

Oh. I'm sorry.

[Hiccups] Oh, my god.

I can't help it. Drink some water.

I-I tried. It's not working.

Maybe if you scared me.

Natalie, if you hiccup again, I'm gonna take Randy's g*n and sh**t you.

That worked.

You're welcome.

Oh, wow.

Rudy? Hey, Rudy!

Hey, this is Rudy Smith from the big buddy program.

I used to be his mentor.

Hey, man, how you doing?

I was just thinking about you.

This kid was trouble with a capital t back in the day.

Hey, remember how we met?

He caught me spray-painting.

Oh, yeah, I caught him spray-painting police cars.

Made him work it off five days a week for a month, huh?

A little bit of tough love.

What you doing here?

You a lawyer now? A little doogie howser thing going on?

Smith, let's go.

Van's downstairs.

Let's go.

Wait. Detective.

What did he do?

He robbed a store and k*lled the clerk.

m*rder one. Let's go.

Captain, when did you first suspect Evan gildea was responsible for his wife's m*rder?

Well, actually that was Adrian monk.

See, monk was looking around at the art at the victim's house, and he noticed something.

He hit her with this? Apparently.

Why didn't he use this one?

The fight started here.

I would have grabbed this.

It's heavy enough.

It would have been perfect.

Instead he crossed all the way over there.

E.g. Evan gildea.

So monk figured that Mr. Gildea, not wanting to destroy one of his own pieces of art, grabbed the other statue.

And that's when you began to focus on the defendant.

Yes, sir, that's correct.

Thank you, captain.

You're welcome. Your witness.

[Clears throat]

That's a great story, captain stottlemeyer.

I won't take up too much of your time.

I just have a few questions.

Your consultant Mr. Monk, is he a trained psychologist?

No, no, but he's a lot smarter than any psychologist I've ever met.

Well, yeah, he would have to be, having never met my client, to know that my client would not use one of his own statues as a m*rder w*apon.

That was just a theory.

A theory that led us to a substantial amount of other evidence.

Okay, we'll get to that other evidence a little bit later.

I would like to know, if we could just back up for a little bit, how was Mr. Monk able to divine where the fight started?

Where the fight started? Where it started.

How did he know, for example, the fight did not start in, say, the foyer?

Um, I'll have to consult my notes.

Were you there when the fight started, captain stottlemeyer?

No.

Was your friend Adrian monk there when the fight started, captain stottlemeyer?

No, he was not.

Isn't it possible, captain stottlemeyer, isn't it possible the fight could have started in the foyer?

Yes, it's poss... Good job.

I think we're done.

Let's move on to something else, shall we?

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.

Not you.

It's just this kid.

Rudy.

I really thought he turned a corner.

Well, you said he had problems.

Shoplifting.

Like, a couple of fights, but nothing like this.

I promised his grandmother I'd look out for him.

She made me promise.

[Door opens]

Hey. How'd it go?

Give me a sec.

[Exhales and sighs]

[Sighs again]

You're sweating. He's tough.

Your tie's wet.

What happened in there?

He's tough. That's what happened.

He kept coming at me like Muhammad Ali.

Boom-boom-boom-boom.

Adrian monk?

You're up.

Monk, be careful in there.

Don't give him any openings.

Leland. I'm fine.

Evan gildea is the guy.

We both know he's the guy, and in 20 minutes the jury's gonna know it too.

[Clicks]

And so I concluded that Mr. Gildea had the means, motive, and the opportunity to m*rder his wife.

I have no further questions.

Mr. Monk, on behalf of the people of San Francisco, I want to thank you for sharing your opinion.

It's not my opinion.

It's what happened.

Your witness. Oh.

Mr. Monk, I too would like to thank you for a lifetime of service.

You're welcome.

If you don't mind, it won't take too much time, I'd like to review your testimony.

What part? All of it.

Every syllable actually.

Let's start with your trip to Santa Barbara.

You said that happened the day after the m*rder?

That's correct. As I said.

We drove down to Mr. Gildea's studio the next morning.

We spoke to a local police sergeant, sgt. Carney.

Sergeant, what have you got?

I was here at 9:00 this morning after you called.

I told him about his wife.

How'd he take it?

Seemed pretty shaken up.

What do you mean "seemed"? Was he faking it?

You tell me.

He's right inside.

Uh, wipes. Plural. Plural wipes.

Wipes. Okay.

It's a dust factory in here.

Mr. Monk, he's a sculptor.

It's part of his job. It's no excuse.

Evan gildea!

Hello, we're with the San Francisco police department.

Oh, then what are you doing here?

Why aren't you out looking for the son of a bitch that k*lled my wife? We are.

Who's this?

This is Adrian monk. He's consulting with us.

Mr. Gildea, where were you last night around 9:00?

I was here all night. I was working.

Were you alone? No.

I was with her.

[Emits a strange, high-pitched noise]

[Reenacts the strange, high-pitched noise]

Mr. Monk, are you okay?

I'm fine.

You were making a noise.

I don't think so.

Could you read that back, please?

Witness: The defendant removed a sheet revealing a naked...

[Reenacts monk's high-pitched noise]

Are you nervous, Mr. Monk?

I'm fine.

You were describing the statue.

I'm not gonna win any husband-of-the-year awards, I admit that, but I did not k*ll Nancy.

I never get violent.

If I get angry, I take it out on the stone.

Besides, it's just not possible.

It's not physically possible.

I was here all night.

Ask sgt. Carney.

I was finishing up when he came in this morning.

Your honor, I would like to introduce ot the court defense exhibit a.

Is this the statue that you saw in Mr. Gildea's studio?

Yes.

Mr. Monk, the statue is my client's alibi.

It's kind of important that you take a look at it.

In fact the statue is the single most important piece of evidence in this entire case, and you can't even look at it.

I got the gist of it.

Whoa-whoa, I'm sorry, he got the gist of the evidence.

I got the gist of the head and the...

Upper head area.

She's your grandmother. She loves you.

I don't want to see her. Not now.

Not like this.

At least call her, okay?

Look at me.

You gonna call her?

[Sighs] So how's your lawyer?

She's okay.

Rudy, what happened?

Was it my fault?

Your fault?

Yeah, I was your big buddy.

I was supposed to look out for you.

And I should have said, "Rudy, don't k*ll anybody."

I didn't k*ll anybody.

I talked to the d.A.

I know what you did.

Randy, I swear.

I messed up.

I went in there, I robbed the place, I admit it.

I took 30 bucks from the cash register.

I grabbed a gold chain from the lady.

Then I split.

She was alive when I left.

30 bucks from the register.

You grabbed a chain?

You told the cops that?

It's not in here.

Guess you guys aren't perfect.

Hey, look what I found.

Our friendship bracelets.

Put it on.

I remember when we made these.

Remember what we said?

I remember.

We promised each other we wouldn't lie to each other.

So I'm gonna ask you one time.

Did you k*ll that woman, Rudy?

Randy, I swear.

I didn't do it.

[Creaking]

Is there a problem with the microphone?

There is a small kink in the microphone, your honor.

You'll thank me later.

There it is.

You're welcome.

Mr. Monk, I'm sure you're aware that in this court we've had not one, not two, but three art experts.

They have all examined this sculpture.

They've all agreed it would take at least 12 hours to sculpt a piece like this. That's true.

At first it looked like the perfect alibi.

All right, is that better?

Thank you.

Mr. Gildea, how do we know when you sculpted this?

I mean, it could have been last week.

Or last year. Here's how you know.

She was carved from a two-ton slab of Belgian gray marble that was delivered yesterday at 5:00 P.M.

Here's the receipt.

You can call the quarry yourself.

But how do we know this is the same slab of Belgian gray marble?

You could have sculpted the-the-the-the-the-the...

Nude. The nude statue out of a different slab.

And when that marble was delivered yesterday, all you had to do was hide it.

Hide it?

You think I hid a two-ton slab of marble?

[Laughing] That's fantastic.

Where is it, detective?

Is it underneath the couch?

Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Gildea.

Sorry about your wife.

You understand, we always have to talk to the husband, especially in a case like this.

Of course. The clock.

Excuse me?

The clock in your studio was 20 minutes slow.

And that popsicle is half-melted.

Your freezer must have been off for a while.

You... you blew a fuse.

A fuse? Wait, you're right.

I remember. I was plugging in my coffee maker... no. No, no, no, no.

No, it wasn't a coffee maker.

You were using something much bigger.

There's a heavy duty extension cord in there.

It is the only thing in your studio not covered with dust.

You were using some... some kind of tool.

A jackhammer.

You k*lled her, you drove back here this morning, you chopped up all of the marble with the jackhammer before sgt. Carney arrived.

It wouldn't have taken you more than an hour.

I chopped it all up?

You're in the middle of nowhere.

Nobody would have heard you.

And then what? Where did I put it?

Two tons of marble. Oh, oh, maybe I ate it.

No. No, you didn't eat it.

We're standing on it.

And he took the two tons of marble, and he spread it across his driveway?

That's right.

And you're a detective, Mr. Monk.

You're not a science fiction writer?

No, I am not.

A writer. That's too bad.

I think you might have missed your calling, Mr. Monk.

[Laughter]

Objection, your honor.

Argumentative. Sustained.

Let's bring it in.

Your honor, I would like to introduce to the court defense exhibit b.

This is a sample of the gravel taken from my client's driveway.

Now, Mr. Monk, if what you're saying is correct, then all of these pieces could have come from the same slab.

Therefore, they should all fit together like a giant Jigsaw puzzle.

Isn't that right? In theory.

In theory?

You want to send my client to jail for the rest of his life on a theory?

[Stammering] Now wait, I misspoke.

It's not a theory.

It's what happened, okay. He's the guy.

Okay, well, let's see if you're right.

Let's see if this piece matches this piece.

Do these two go together? No.

How about this one?

Nope.

How about this one?

No.

How about this one?

Objection.

Order in this court.

Who is that woman?

That woman, your honor, is the witness's nurse.

No, she is not my nurse, your honor.

She is my assistant. My nurse left five years ago.

Well, we're all very sorry to hear about that, Mr. Monk.

[Laughter]

Objection!

To what?

To... to what I said...

Mr. Monk, you are testifying.

You cannot object to your own testimony.

Why do you need a nurse, Mr. Monk?

Objection. Immaterial.

Mr. Monk said he needed a nurse.

I'll allow it.

Answer the question.

I had a breakdown ten years ago after the death of my wife.

That was the same time you left the police force, correct?

Could you please explain to us the exact circumstances of your departure from the police force?

[Softly] Psychiatric discharge.

I can't hear you, Mr. Monk.

It was a psychiatric discharge.

We're all very sorry for your loss, detective monk...

Excuse me, former detective monk.

I'm sure you would do anything to impress the commissioner to get your badge back.

Objection. Mr. Monk is not on trial.

It establishes credibility, your honor.

Overruled.

Former detective monk, isn't it true that the only way you could get reinstated is to be appearing to be solving a high-profile case.

A high-profile case just like this one.

Appearing to solve, no.

I did not appear to solve anything.

I solved the case.

I solved it. He's the guy.

He is the guy. He chopped it all up with a jackhammer.

Where is the jackhammer?

He had all morning to get rid of it.

Okay, look, it's so obv...

And these pieces do fit together.

I'll show you. Okay? Here, look.

This one goes with...

This one.

Okay, wait a sec.

All right, look.

All right.

Hold that one.

While this one... not that one...

That one...

Not that one.

[Rifling through the fragments]

How do you find the defendant?

We find the defendant not guilty.

[Positive exclamations]

This verdict isn't going to bring Nancy back.

Nothing can do that.

But it did restore my faith in the American legal system.

It's the best legal system in the world.

At least it was today.

It's my fault.

Don't b*at yourself up. You can't win 'em all.

The gravel and the microphone. What was I thinking?

Hey, you had a hell of a run.

Nobody goes undefeated forever.

What happens now? Oh, nothing happens now.

It's over. Mr. Gildea can never be tried again.

He's right. It's called double jeopardy.

How do you sleep at night? Like a baby.

In a really expensive bed.

Thanks for asking, though.

Oh, and, detective?

Lieutenant. Lieutenant.

You're wrong. Some people do go undefeated forever.

[Giggles]

And I still hate you.

That's weird.

What's that? The taillights.

On Evan gildea's car.

They don't match. One is brighter.

We can't arrest him for that. Give it up, buddy.

It's over. They b*at us.

We are almost out of time, so I want to thank our guest Harrison Powell.

His book is called undefeated:

The Harrison Powell story, and do you have a card in case I get in trouble?

You know, a speeding ticket or something?

You know, Sean, for you, as a matter of fact, I do.

Oh, okay, for any criminal in San Francisco, this is basically a get-out-of-jail-free card, isn't it?

Because you are a regular Mr. Monopoly.

I guess I am.

I've made a decision.

I'm quitting.

I'm not taking any more cases.

I'm sorry to hear that, Adrian.

Is it because of the TV interview?

What interview?

Harrison Powell was on TV last night.

You didn't see it?

Did he mention me?

I don't remember.

You don't remember?

How long was the interview?

About ten minutes.

You saw a ten-minute interview last night, and you don't remember if my name was mentioned?

All right, he might have mentioned your name.

[Chuckles]

I should have known. You're a very good detective.

Yes, I am a good detective.

But I'm a terrible witness, which is why I'm quitting.

Adrian, setbacks like the one you just experienced are a part of life.

You could argue they're the most important part of... you don't understand. A k*ller...

A stone-cold k*ller is back on the street because of me.

Because that lawyer Harrison Powell ripped me apart on the witness stand.

You weren't there. He... he dismantled me.

I was helpless.

I understand.

And it's going to happen again.

What's to prevent it?

I'll solve another case, and then somebody else will be arrested, and all they have to do is hire Harrison Powell.

It's like he has one of those get-out-of-jail-free cards.

You know, it's funny you mention it.

That's exactly...

Never mind.

I'm a liability now.

I'm the weak link.

Believe me, I'm doing the city a favor.

All right, before you decide, let me tell you a little story.

No, there's nothing you can say.

My mind is made up.

Just hear me out.

Please.

Is this a long story?

No. Is it a parable?

No. No.

As you know, I went to college on a baseball scholarship.

Now there was a pitcher in the league named Scotty hunt, who was my Nemesis.

All right, he had this sinking curveball.

I mean, I couldn't touch it.

He struck me out 15 times in a row. Okay, this is a parable.

It's not a parable.

If it's anything, it's an allegory.

Okay, I'm quitting.

[Stammers] Please let me finish.

Now I considered giving up.

Then I decided, no, no, no, I'm not just gonna roll over.

I'm not gonna let this jerk ruin everything I worked so hard for.

So I went to school on the guy. I studied him.

I looked for his weakness.

And I realized he had a tell.

He was tipping his curveball.

Uh-huh.

So, last game of the season, I'm at bat, bases loaded, we're down by three, I saw the tell.

I'm looking for the curveball.

And I nailed it right field fence, grand slam.

We went on to win the playoffs.

I don't want to be rude. Is that the end of the allegory?

Yes, it is.

I'm quitting.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, these are my old case files.

I'm organizing them by date, and then cross-referencing them by name of the suspect.

The yellow folders indicate multiple victims.

And what are you gonna do with them?

I'm gonna burn them.

You can't quit, Mr. Monk. Already have.

Mr. Monk, there's a case, a very important case.

Nobody else can handle it.

I know what you're trying to do, Natalie, but it won't work.

My mind's made up.

She's not asking monk. I am.

It's Rudy, my little buddy.

You remember the kid from the courthouse?

The d.A. Just announced that they want to try him as an adult.

The kid's looking at 25 years.

It's very important to you, isn't it?

Then you don't want me anywhere near it.

And you know what happened.

That last case came crashing down around me.

Mr. Monk, we want to show you the crime scene.

Come with us. It'll take 20 minutes.

Maybe you'll see something.

You can't say no.

Well, you can, but you can't.

I can, but I can't?

I don't understand.

You don't, but you do.

He confessed.

To robbing the store.

He confessed? Not to the m*rder.

Randy, you know the law.

If I go with you and I see something, then I might have to testify about it.

And if I accuse someone, they could hire this Powell guy.

They probably will.

Well, I'm willing to take that chance.

Why?

Because he didn't do it.

[Doorbell chimes]

An auto parts store. It's a family business.

It's been closed since the m*rder, so the scene is pretty much intact.

Natalie, you be the owner.

You're behind the counter.

She was older.

Pretend I'm older.

Fine. So pretend she's older.

Okay.

All right, Rudy parks out back, comes inside the store, he looks around and pretends to shop.

And it's just Rudy and the woman.

There's no other witnesses? No, he can't remember.

He thinks there might have another car parked out back.

And maybe there was somebody else inside the store.

That's not much help.

I know, monk.

I mean, he was scared to death.

Okay.

So he comes over to the counter and asks for change.

"May I have some change?"

She opens the register.

She opens the register.

[Beep]

He grabs the cash, grabs her gold necklace, bolts out the door.

He didn't hit her or shove her.

No, he swears that he didn't touch her.

I mean, the body was right over here in the corner with the m*rder w*apon beside it.

It was a tire iron from the shelf.

So it was spur-of-the-moment.

He didn't plan on k*lling anyone, or he would have brought a w*apon with him.

Ooh, Mr. Monk, good point.

Although a good lawyer... Harrison Powell, for example...

Might say Rudy didn't have to bring a w*apon with him because he knew there'd be something like a tire iron in the store.

"It is an auto parts store, isn't it, former detective monk?

"Have you ever been inside an auto parts store, "former detective monk?

Do you even own a car, former detective monk?"

Mr. Monk, what are you doing? "Oh, that's right.

"They won't give you a license.

Isn't that true, former detective monk?"

"Objection!" "order in the..."

What's the use? Mr. Monk, come on, come on.

You got to forget about Harrison Powell.

You got to keep going. Come on, come on.

Do the hand... do the hand thing.

Go on, go on. You got it, you got it.

There's a camera?

Yeah, but the recorder's empty.

Which means the k*ller must have taken the tape.

But your friend Rudy is short.

He's, what, 5'4"?

5'4 1/4".

Well, he couldn't reach that shelf.

There's no stepping stool.

"He didn't need a stepping stool, former detective monk.

"There are hundreds of things here he could have stood on.

"Why are you crying, former detective monk?

"Why don't you stop wasting everyone's time and get the hell out of here?"

Objection, badgering...

Yourself.

Overruled.

Mr. Monk, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on. Look at me.

Look at me!

You have to get this lawyer out of your head.

You're not thinking straight. Come on, Randy.

Keep reading.

Okay, let's see.

Uh, "there's $30 missing from the register.

"She was struck once in the back of the skull, medulla oblongata."

Wait, wait.

She was only hit once?

Yeah, she d*ed instantly.

That's exactly how Nancy gildea was k*lled.

Monk, you're right. Yeah.

When did this happen? What was the day?

October 1st.

About 10:00 P.M.?

Yeah.

That's right. How did you know that?

Mr. Monk. Shh.

Mr. Monk, what are you looking for?

This.

If you're trying to scare me, you can forget it.

I was acquitted, remember? Jury of my peers.

This isn't about your wife, Mr. Gildea.

This is about Sara paddock.

Different m*rder. Different case.

Who?

She was the woman at the auto parts store you m*rder*d when you were leaving town.

That was her name.

Sara paddock.

It's okay. Just take your time.

I'm not sure. I'm sorry.

I read about that.

The auto store. I thought you caught that kid.

There was a young man in the store.

He robbed the place, he grabbed a few bucks, but he didn't k*ll anyone.

Here's what happened. What?

Nothing. It just feels good to say that again, especially to him.

Here's what happened.

You drove to San Francisco, and you m*rder*d your wife, no matter what the jury said, you m*rder*d your wife.

But as you were leaving, you had a problem.

One of your taillights was b*rned out.

You couldn't risk driving home like that.

If the cops stopped you, your alibi would be ruined.

There was an auto parts store up the street, you ran in to buy a new bulb, you were gonna pay cash, nobody would ever know you were there.

But your timing was terrible.

Oh, don't worry.

We've got everything on video.

Now you had a bigger problem.

As soon as she reported it, the cops would take a look at the security tape...

And we'd see you in the store three blocks away from where your wife was k*lled, and you couldn't afford that.

If it's all right with you, I'm gonna wait for my attorney.

His name is Harrison Powell. I think you might remember him.

Leland, he's in my head again.

No, monk, he's actually... He's here.

Oh, thank god.

Uh, I've been brought up to speed.

I understand you found a burnt-out taillight bulb next to an auto parts store.

Congratulations, former detective Adrian monk. May I?

This... this bulb must fit, what, 50 models?

31.

31 models.

Former detective Adrian...

[Chuckling] Monk, have you ever been inside an auto parts store?

Do you... do you even drive a car, former detective monk?

Okay.

Well, if you guys aren't gonna charge my client with anything, and I can tell by the dumbfounded expressions on your faces that you're not at all.

Uh, you can turn that off

'cause we're hitting the road.

Let's go, fella.

I'm double-parked.

The truth will come out, Powell.

Somehow it always does.

Your client k*lled that woman.

When are you people gonna stop hassling me?

I mean, you've got the real k*ller right in front of you.

That dope-smoking, chain-snatching, little thug right over there. He k*lled her.

Everybody knows it.

Whoa, whoa, excuse me. Wait a minute.

Hey, did you hear what he just said?

Yes, I did. I wonder why you're asking.

Did you hear what he just said?

I didn't say anything.

You just called that young man "a chain-snatching, dope-smoking little thug."

I was being kind.

How did you know about the chain-snatching?

He read it.

It wasn't in the papers.

It wasn't even in the police report.

No, no, no, no, no, no, there is only one possible way he knew Rudy took that necklace.

You saw it happen.

It's called guilty knowledge. And juries eat it up.

Mr. Gildea, you're under arrest.

Randy, would you like to do the honors?

My pleasure.

Yes. Yes.

Do you really want to go up against me again, former detective monk?

Yes, I do.

I'll see you on the ball field.

The ball field?

I've seen your curveball.

I can hit it now.

Oh, I'm really looking forward to this.

No, you're not.

He is gonna rip me apart. No, he's not.

Mr. Monk, you're gonna do great.

You've seen his curveball.

I don't even know what that means.

I can't believe I'm doing this again.

I'm proud of you, man.

You're getting back on the horse.

Yeah, monk. Okay, a couple of suggestions.

Uh, just a thought.

Maybe work on not crying...

I mean, quite so much in front of the jury.

Okay, that's a good note.

Yeah, also, you can think "mayday" all you want, but it's probably a mistake to yell the word "mayday" from the witness stand. Did I do that?

Just a couple times.

More than a couple times.

I better write these down.

I have to return these cuffs.

There are no timeouts. Right.

No do-overs.

No heavy, heavy sweating. No, no.

We find the defendant guilty of m*rder in the second degree.

[Applause]

Mr. Powell, are you surprised? What went wrong today?

You gonna change the name of the book?

No comment. Come on, guys.

Excuse me.

Go ahead. Say it.

It hurts, doesn't it?

[Snapping shutters]

Hey, how's your little buddy, little buddy?

He's gonna get 500 hours of community service.

And I'm getting him a job at the station house too.

Really make him work it off.

Somebody working at the station house.

That will be sort of refreshing.

[Clears throat] Mr. Monk.

Don't say it.

I'm proud of you.

Okay, you can say it.

You were the best witness ever.

You answered all the questions.

You didn't get rattled, even when the microphone was all bent up and twisted.

You ignored it.

I don't know why you're so surprised.

Just doing my job.

Come on, Mr. Expert witness.

I'll drive you home.

[Creaking]