03x19 - The Power of the Press

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Brady Bunch". Aired: September 1969 to March 1974.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


A woman with three daughters marries a widower with three sons.
Post Reply

03x19 - The Power of the Press

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Mom! Alice!

Greg! Marcia!

Peter, Peter, what's the matter?

Is something wrong?

No, I've got great news.

Oh, that's a relief.

Well, come on, tell us the news.

You know the school paper? Yeah?

They needed a new reporter.

A lot of guys tried out for it,

but who do you
think they picked?

Oh, I'll take a
wild guess... You!

Yeah! How did you know?

Woman's intuition.

I'm not just going to
be an ordinary reporter.

I'm going to have my own column!

Your own column...
That's terrific!

Congratulations, Peter.

Thanks.

And I know just what
I'm going to call it...

"The Whole Truth,"
by... "Scoop" Brady.

"Scoop"?! All
right, that's great!

I'm going to write a column

that'll stand Fillmore
Junior High on its ear.

Then I'm gonna write
one for my high school,

then for college.

I might become
a famous reporter!

Maybe I'll win a Pulitzer prize!

But first, I'd better
do something.

What's that?

Learn how to type.

Jan, did you take my pencils?

Nope.

I had three pencils in
this drawer; they're gone.

Check with Scoop Brady.

Oh, no.

First, he takes my carbon paper,

then my erasers
and now my pencils.

Mine, too.

Did either one of you take

the pencils from my desk? No.

Well, somebody did.

Check with Scoop Brady.

Oh, for crying out loud.

First he takes my carbon paper,

then my erasers
and now my pencils.

Did you call me, honey?

Sweetheart, have you
seen my typewriter?

It was in here this morning.

Oh, I forgot to tell
you... Power of the press.

Scoop Brady borrowed it.

You're kidding?

First he takes my carbon paper,

then my erasers, then my pencils

now my typewriter?

Well, he said he
was a little short

on the tools of his trade.

Oh, well, I guess it's
all pretty exciting for him.

I'll put my notes on
my tape recorder.

Um, listen, by the way, honey,

don't go looking for
your old brown hat.

My old brown hat?

"The... whole..."

Peter, why are you
wearing Dad's old hat?

Because that's how
us reporters look

in the newspaper game.

And the name isn't
Peter, it's Scoop.

Scoop? You mean "stoop."

Very funny.

I think we saw this one already.

No, they all look the same.

Will you guys
turn that thing off?

I'm trying to think.

Hey, what are you
doing? We were watching!

I told you, I can't think.

Well, that's nothing new.

Hey, will you guys knock
it off; I'm trying to work.

You'd better knock it off.

There are two of us
and only one of you.

Hold it.

Wait a minute!

What's the matter?

Hi, Dad.

Big sh*t "stoop"
won't let us watch TV.

They can watch TV upstairs.

I'm trying to work.

Why can't you work upstairs?

Dad, a newspaperman

has to be near the phone.

You never know when
a big story might break.

Well, that's a point.

Why can't you kids
watch television upstairs?

That's just a dinky
little set up there, Dad.

What if we get hungry?

This is right next
to the kitchen. Yeah.

Look, kids, when one
person is doing something

that's important to him,

sometimes the others have
to accept a little inconvenience.

He means we got
to watch upstairs.

I know what he means.

Thanks, Dad.

You're welcome.

How's the column coming, Scoop?

Writing's sure a lot
tougher than I thought.

"The Whole Truth."

That's all you got?

That's all I could think of.

I bet that's another guy

with a hot flash for my column.

Scoop Brady talking.

Oh. For you, Dad.

Mm-hmm. Thank you.

Dad? Yes?

Would you mind
keeping it a little short?

You never know when
a big story might break.

Sure thing, Scoop.

All right, children,
time for exercises.

Not again!

We hate them!

Oh, come on, now.

One, two, one...
Come on, come on.

Hey, what's going on here?

Those are really cute!

This is Miss Crocker,
our gym teacher.

Oh, how do you do, Miss Crocker?

How do you do? One, two, one...

What are they for?

Well, we're doing a skit

on our teachers
on Jamboree Night.

You know, rib them a little.

Well, that's the best
time to rib them...

After your final grades.

And, speaking of grades,

you two have finals this week.

I finished all my studying, Mom.

So did I.

That's why I'm helping
Marcia with these puppets.

I'm Mrs. Sanders...

Marcia's English teacher.

Oh, hello.

And this is Mr. Price,
the science teacher.

And now, students,

we take up the
study of chlorophyll.

"Chlorophyll" is a Greek word.

"Chloro" means green,
and I guess "phyll"

is the guy who discovered it.

Hey, you got
Mr. Price down perfect.

He's the toughest
teacher I've ever had.

You have him this
term, don't you, Peter?

I sure do.

Well, just remember,
Scoop Brady,

you have finals, too.

So don't neglect your studies

because of that column.

Don't worry, Mom,
everything's real cool.

Well, just make sure
it doesn't warm up.

One, two, one... Is
that your column?

Yeah.

Can we read it?

Well... Come on.

All it says is,

"The Whole Truth
by Scoop Brady."

Well, I haven't finished it yet.

It isn't even started.

That's the whole
trouble, getting it started.

Before I became a writer,

I could think of a million
things to write about.

Now I can't think of one.

Come on, there's
lots to write about.

Oh, yeah? Name one.

Well, how about
my Jamboree Night?

And the girls' basketball
team... Undefeated.

And so is the debating team.

Hey, that's real good stuff.

And the drama club is
doing three one-act plays.

And there's a
charity... Okay, okay.

You're getting me confused.

I'll get on it right away.

I say, that Scoop is
some reporter, I say.

Yes, he is some
reporter, indeed.

Well, what do you think?

Uh, well, it's-it's, um...

it's not a, uh,
bad column, Pete.

Boy, the typing
is real neat, Peter.

You think it's rotten.

Not at all.

The items are fine.

The way you wrote
it, it's a little, um...

dull, right, Alice?

Well, you could
jazz it up a little.

How?

Well, take the pie sale.

You said, "14 apple
pies were baked."

Eh. Couldn't you
say something like,

"What sweet young
thing in the eighth grade

bakes the wildest
apple pies in town?"

Hey, I get it... make
it more personal.

Right. The girls'
basketball item...

You didn't mention
a single name.

Kids like to see their
names in the paper

and to read about themselves.

Particularly, if you
appeal to their vanity.

Vanity? What's vanity?

Vanity is what makes
women with size-12 feet

wear size-eight shoes.

She means flatter them.

Names, and flatter them, huh?

Boy, will I ever!

Thanks!

Peter. Peter.

Hi, Iris.

I just wanted to thank you.

They picked me
to be yell leader,

and I owe it all to you.

Why me?

Because of all the things you
wrote about me in your column.

I'm glad it helped.

Maybe we can have a
malt together after school.

Swell.

And I'm paying;

you're my guest, Peter.

Hey, Peter, you're the greatest.

You mean the item in the column.

I've never been so
popular with girls.

They really believe
that stuff you wrote

about me being a great dancer.

Well, you are, compared to me;

I can't dance at all.

Here. It's only some candy bars,

but I just wanted to
show my appreciation.

Thanks.

Hey, if you can
think of anything else

to say about me,

I've got an uncle who
owns a pizza place.

See you later.

Peter! I've been
looking all over for you.

Well, it looks
like you found me.

Thanks for the great item

in your column about my singing.

Mrs. Meredith asked me to
do a solo on Jamboree Night!

That's great!

And, Peter, I'm going to have

a super party soon,

and you're the first
name on my guest list.

I know you're studying, Eddie,

but I need an
item for my column.

Yeah, something real
snappy... A little gossip or...

Have you got the whole thing
about osmosis right now, Eddie?

Yeah, I know...

that science class
isn't too easy.

Okay, let me know if
you're stuck again. Bye.

Well, did you get him
squared away on osmosis?

Yep.

Yeah, well, that makes
me feel a little bit better.

How do you mean?

Well, with all the time

you've been spending
on your column

and all the parties
you've been invited to,

your mother and I have
been a little bit afraid

you've been neglecting
your schoolwork.

Nah. I'm going to do some
more studying right now.

You are? Yeah.

Hey, that's good.

Turn out the lights
when you're through.

Osmosis... osmosis...

I'd better find out what
in heck osmosis is...

or does!

We both had
Mr. Price for science,

and we know what kind
of final exams he gives.

I'm sure we can help.

Thanks. I just
hope it's not too late.

The easiest way to
remember things is

by making up little
rhymes about them...

Like, "a vertebrate has
a back that's straight."

A vertebrate has a
back that's straight.

Hey, that's a great idea.

Do you know what a primate is?

Primate... primate... primate...

let's see... I don't think I do.

On second thought,
I'm sure I don't.

You can remember it like this.

"A primate has
the size and shape

of a monkey, a
man or any old ape."

A primate has the size and shape

of a monkey, a
man or any old ape.

Hey, that's a great system!

Hey, it worked for me.

Me, too.

Hey, I just thought of
another rhyme. What?

"Next year's
going to be so nice;

I won't have to worry
about Mr. Price."

Pete, you better hit
the book and read it.

Mr. Price, have
pity on my brother.

Mr. Price?

Yes, Peter.

I was wondering...

that exam we took on Friday:

Have you finished
grading all the papers yet?

Not all of them.

Oh.

As is my customary procedure,

I grade the papers
alphabetically,

according to student names.

I'm presently up to, um, "L."

"L"? Then you're past "B."

A keen analytical deduction.

Keener than most
of your deductions

in the examination,
I'm afraid, Peter.

That sounds like I
didn't do so good.

You didn't do so well, either.

I'm quite disappointed
in you, Peter.

For the first half
of the semester,

you received a "B."

I thought you would be

one of my better students.

Is this test going to have a
big effect on my report card?

Final examinations
usually do, Peter.

Thank you, sir.

"D." A big, fat "D."

Don't I know you from somewhere?

But yes, mon cheri.

I have been chasing you

to the four corners
of the world.

I'll bet you say
that to all the girls.

Oh, Charles, you
mad, impetuous fool.

Kiss me.

Oh, uh... Hi, kids.

I was, uh...

Well, don't just stand
there like a dummy.

Get me out of this.

Hi, Peter. Hi, Mom.

Hey, what's your hurry?

Come here a minute.

I've got a lot of things to do.

How did you do on your finals?

Uh, most of them went okay.

How was your science final?

Was Mr. Price as
tough as they say?

Mr. Price said he
hasn't finished grading

all the test papers yet.

Well, how do you think you did?

I'm sure I didn't get an "A."

Well, I'll settle
for an A-minus.

Boy, so would I.

Hi, Pete.

What do you think you're doing?

We're going to watch TV.

Why don't you watch TV

down in the family room?

We can't. You got us kicked out

of the family room, dumbhead.

Well, I'm kicking you back in.

The way you're
kicking us around,

you must think we're footballs.

I've got to do a lot of
heavy thinking up here.

If you don't think too loud,

you won't bother us.

Look, if you both go
watch TV downstairs,

I'll give you a candy bar, okay?

Me, too? You, too.

Wow, you got a whole box!

Where'd you get all that candy?

From a guy at school.

I wrote some nice things
about him in my column.

You mean people
give you things for that?

Sure, they like to read nice
things about themselves.

They give you candy
bars, pizzas, sodas,

and passes to the movies.

And maybe... maybe
even a good grade.

Yeah!

"Yeah," what?

Never mind. You'll miss
your movie. Hurry up.

I've got a special
column to write.

Say, any hot flashes

to shake the world with, Scoop?

What?

I said I'm almost finished.

Greg, what's a way of saying

somebody's the best at his job?

"Outstanding."

No, I've already used that one.

"Super." "Terrific."

No. I used them, too.

"Head and shoulders
above the crowd."

Hey, that's great.

"There have been many
great men in our country...


"Washington, Lincoln... But
we have a man in our school

who is just as
great: Mr. Price."

Mr. Price?!

The science teacher?

Yeah. Here's the carbon copy

if you want to read it.

Are you kidding?

When I had him, we
called him "Mr. Sourpuss."

That's just the way you see him.

I've got to get this column
over to my editor right away.

Washington, Lincoln...
and Mr. Price?!

Good morning, Mr. Price.

What is so good
about it, may I ask?

No, Marcia.

I can still see your lips move.

It's not easy to talk
with your mouth closed.

Marcia, Jan, you
got to read this.

You won't believe it.

Mr. Price?!

Peter's flipped.

I'm Mr. Price, and
even I don't believe it.

I don't blame you.

It gets better.

There you are.

Say, listen, Hi, Dad.

I thought you were
going to take care

of that back lawn
this afternoon.

Oh, yeah, I will,
Dad. Right away.

What's so funny?

Look, look. This
is. Look, read it.

It's Scoop Brady's
latest column.

You mean we got an Art
Buchwald in the family?

I'm not sure. Look, look.

I don't think I've gotten
to the funny part yet.

It's all funny if you
know Mr. Price.

He's the dullest.

I'm not going to have
him until next year,

but everybody in the
whole school knows

how dull Mr. Price is.

He's the kind of guy, Dad,

who tells the
class jokes in Latin.

And, all semester,
only one kid laughed,

and he was Italian.

Come on. I think you're
being a little hard on Mr. Price.

It's not that he's
a bad teacher.

He just has a little trouble

getting through to the kids.

According to this,

he seems to have
gotten through to Peter.

Listen, don't forget
the lawn, okay?

I won't. I won't. Okay.

Do you think Peter

actually thinks he's great?

Are you kidding?

He's got to have some reason

for writing that column.

A "D"?

What's that, Mrs. Brady?

Look what I found
in Peter's jacket.

It's his science test.

I thought it hadn't
even been graded yet.

Oh, my.

And "D" sure doesn't
stand for "dandy."

No wonder he was
being so evasive about it.

Well, I'm not
excusing Peter, honey,

but it isn't easy
to tell your parents

about a bad grade.

He's a good student.

I'll bet he didn't study at all.

You know, it's really ironic.

How do you mean?

Well, because Peter wrote

a whole column about Mr. Price.

He made him sound like a cross

between Albert Einstein
and Albert Schweitzer.

Yeah, well, I'll bet

that was before he got the "D."

No. As a matter of fact, he...

he wrote it after.

How did you find my test?

Well, you left it

in the pocket of your jacket.

Oh.

Well, it was a tough test, Dad.

Ask any of the kids.

I'm sure it was.

Look, Peter, your mother and I

wouldn't mind the "D" so much

if we thought you had
done your very best.

But you didn't, did you?

No.

No, you didn't.

You were spending too much time

being Scoop Brady, reporter,

not enough time being

Peter Brady, student, right?

I'm sorry.

Mmm.

Listen...

about this article you
wrote this afternoon

about Mr. Price.

You know about that, too?

Yes, I do.

Now, was that,
like your article says

"The Whole Truth,"

or was that just
a snow job, huh?

In hopes of getting Mr. Price

to give you a better grade

on your report card?

A snow job, I guess.

Son, there is a thing
called "Power of the press."

And, with the use of that power,

comes responsibility.

I guess I wasn't very
responsible, was I?

No, you weren't.

Writing nice things
about your friends,

or about Mr. Price, just
to get personal reward

isn't exactly honest reporting.

But what can I do now?

I've already turned
in the column.

I'm sure you'll
think of something.

Yes, Peter?

Good morning, Mr. Price.

I guess I'm a little early.

You are, indeed.

Your class doesn't occur
for another three hours.

Sir, I have to talk to
you about something.

Proceed.

I wrote a column about you,

it's coming out in the paper,

and some of the things I said

I didn't really mean.

Oh?

Like, I said you were

the greatest
teacher in the world.

I didn't really
mean the greatest.

I meant fantastic.

Not really fantastic.

More like terrific.

Not terrific... I meant...

I know what you meant, Peter.

I believe this is the article

to which you are referring.

Yeah. How did you get it?

Newspaper procedure...

An editor has to
verify factual data

before it's printed.

Oh.

Peter, I've been
a teacher too long

not to recognize
a soft-soap job.

Snow job, sir.

Snow job, soft soap, whatever.

Your flattery was as transparent

as the membranous
appendage of a lepidoptera.

A what?

The wing of a butterfly.

"Lepidoptera" is the
scientific name for "butterfly."

You should have
known that, Peter.

Oh. I thought I
was being subtle.

Oh, I can read
between the lines.

I take it from this,

that my students find
me somewhat remote

and lacking in wit.

Boy, you really can
read between the lines.

Also, I take it I may have

some problem of communication.

Well, it's just with all those

Greek and Latin words you use,

the kids almost have to
be professors to understand.

Well, perhaps we've
both learned something

from this experience.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Mr. Price.

Could you give me a hint

to what my final grade
of the semester will be?

You'll get exactly what
you deserve, Peter.

That's what I was afraid of.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Peter.

I just want to tell you

that I talked to Mr. Price,
and I told him what I did.

Well, I'm glad, son.

That took courage to do that.

And, from now on,

I'm not going to
take any candy bars

or movie passes
or anything else,

no matter what I
write in my column.

That a boy.

I bet you feel better
about that, don't you?

I sure do.

Especially about
Mr. Price, he was really nice.

I feel better about that, too.

You do? Uh-huh.

That's great.

Could you hold that feeling

until my science
grade comes out?

Are you almost through, honey?

Yeah, sweetheart. I'm
down to my last signature.

Boy, I bet I'm the only
parent in the neighborhood

who gets writer's cramp
signing report cards.

Well, the kids did all right,

even counting Peter's
problem with Mr. Price.

Oh, yeah.

Well, he got a "C."

Altogether, I think
they got 12 A's, 29 B's,

and only seven C's.

Well, that's a good average.

You betcha.

Good night, honey.

I'd give it a "C."

Give what a "C"?

That kiss... I'd give it a "C."

How about a chance to
improve my grade, Teach?

That seems fair.

Hmm... yes, that's
definitely a "B."

Only a "B"?!

Well, I'm sorry.

I calls 'em as I feels 'em.

How about another
chance for a willing pupil?

Fire when ready, Gridley.

Now, that's an "A."
Post Reply