04x08 - The Sixth Man

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Wonder Years". Aired: January 1988 to May 1993.*
Post Reply

04x08 - The Sixth Man

Post by bunniefuu »

-♪ What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ♪

♪ Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ♪

♪ Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ♪

♪ I will try not to
sing out of key, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪
- ♪ by with a little help
from my friends ♪

-♪ All I need is my buddies ♪

-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪

-♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ - ♪
try with a little help from my friends ♪

-♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪

-♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

-♪ Somebody who
knows quite sure ♪

♪ Baby ♪

-♪ By with a little
help from my friends ♪

-♪ Said I'm gonna make
it with my friends ♪

-♪ Try with a little
help from my friends ♪

-♪ Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ♪

-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪

♪ I'm gonna keep on
trying now, baby ♪

-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

[Bat cracks]

-And there it is!

Dimaggio has hit in
56 straight games!

-There are a lot of
great records in sports.

Rocky marciano fought to victory

In 49 straight
heavyweight prizefights.

The university of oklahoma

Won 47 college
football games in a row.

-Score!

-But in the annals of sports,

There was one record
that surpassed them all,

One destined to go
unbroken for time immemorial.

[Whistle blows]

-Arnold wins! The
crowd's going wild!

[Imitates crowd cheering]

I had beaten paul
pfeiffer at basketball,

As near as I can
remember, 788 times in a row,

Give or take a hundred.

-Want to play again?

-Sure. Loser's out.

It was a streak that went

All the way back
to kindergarten,

Maybe even before.
- Brand-new game.

Hondo's bringing
the ball up court.

He's looking good, folks.

He goes left. He goes right.

He goes left!

-Not that I was some
kind of all-american.

It's just... I was me.

Whereas paul...
Paul was... Paul.

1-Zip.

-Okay, no more mr. Nice guy.

- Really?
- Count on it.

-But we both knew better.

We knew some
things never change.

And in basketball...

Steal!

As in our friendship...

Jumper from the
corner. I called the sh*ts.

[Whistle blows]

-Men.

Let's talk about...

Opportunity.

The opportunity...

[Chalkboard creaking]

To be part of something big...

Really big...

Bigger than all of us.

Gentlemen...

Basketball tryouts
begin this afternoon.

[All groan softly]

Who'd like to play?

[All groaning]

-Now, ordinarily, the
chance to play varsity ball

Is something any
kid would jump at...

-Hands!

- In any other school...

-Anyone.

- In any other town...

For any other coach.

He must be dreaming.

-Yeah, no way I'm
playing for that joker.

-Kisling.

How about you?

-[Groans]

-But in the world
according to ed cutlip,

Volunteers weren't born.

-What about you, hill?

-They were made.

-Martinson.

[Chalk squeaking]

Steele.

-Made you wonder if this is
how they pick teams in russia.

-Who else?

-What are you doing?

-Shh!

-Call it wisdom.
Call it cowardice.

All I knew was, I was
gonna dodge this b*llet.

-Pfeiffer.

-Unfortunately,
the b*llet hit paul.

-Me?

Why me?

-I don't know. Maybe he
thought you were someone else.

-Huh?

-Poor guy. He'd become
a victim of the system.

But don't worry.

There's got to be some way
we can get you out of this.

-Ah. Men.

-Uh... Hi, coach.

-So, pfeiffer, see you at
tryouts this afternoon?

Hmm?

-Okay, it was clear
this kid needed help.

Uh... He can't make it.

He's busy with...

Uh, bassoon lessons
after school.

-Huh?

-Hmm. Didn't know you
were a bassoon man.

-I'm not.

I'll be there, coach.

-Atta fella.

-Paul, why'd you do that?

-Well, I don't
know. He asked me.

-[Scoffs] come on,
paul... Get serious.

-What do you mean by that?

-Man, you don't actually want
to go to those tryouts, do you?

[Sighs] trust me. You
don't want to do this.

I mean, let's face it, the
whole idea's a joke, right?

-[Sighs]

Maybe you're right.

Maybe it's stupid.

-'Course it was stupid.

Paul pfeiffer on
a basketball team

Was like barney fife
working for the fbi.

-♪ Come on, everyone, we
got to get together now ♪

-Yeah, it was really fun.

-I don't believe it.

[Indistinct conversation]

-Hi, paul.

-Hi, guys.

-Paul, where have you been?

-I... I was...

I was doing something.

-Uh-huh.

Like trying out for
the basketball team?

-Well... Yeah.

-Really? How'd it go?

-As if we couldn't
guess. Crash and burn.

-I think it went pretty well.

At least, coach
cutlip thought so.

-You're kidding.

-Well, I mean, I haven't made
the team yet or anything,

But... So far, so good.

-Well, I think that's great.

I'm so proud of you. Aren't
you proud of him, kevin?

-Uh... Sure.

-Of course I was proud of
him. That went without saying.

I was proud enough to say...

Paul? How about getting
us another pitcher of soda?

-You got it! This one's on me.

Hey, woody, could you
fill that up for me? Thanks.

-Good old paul.

-Yeah.

But, suddenly,
"paul was paul"...

- Hi, paul.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

- Wasn't quite paul.

Something was different.

Something was... Wrong.

Come on, let's play.

-Now?

-Yeah. Why not?

-I thought we were gonna
study american history.

-The w*r of 1812 was
fought in, uh, 1812.

There, we studied. Okay?

Actually, as it happens,
it was fought in...

Your ball out.

-[Sighs] okay.

-'Course, I was only
looking for a friendly game...

And maybe a few answers.

So, how come you didn't tell me

You were trying
out for the team?

-Well, I did... Kind of.

-Yeah, but then I
thought we agreed

That it was a bad
idea, didn't we?

You know, that whole
thing about cutlip and...

-Hey, he's not so bad.

-What?

-Well, he isn't... Really.

-What was this? Heresy?

-I just thought I'd,
you know, give it a try.

-Paul, you don't think

You're actually gonna
make the team, do you?

- Well...
- I mean, come on,
it's ridiculous.

You can't even
b*at me. You know?

[Scoffs]

-I-i don't know, kev.

I just thought
maybe I'd give it a sh...

-1-Nothing.

So we played.

And for the first time
ever, paul didn't do

A running commentary
on the action.

Yes!

To this day, I don't
know if I was really hot

Or if paul was really cold.

But what I did know was...

I was teaching paul a lesson.

-Ow! Foul!

-A lesson he'd never forget.

-Hey!

-And it was for his own good.

Swish! [Sighs]

21-3. End of game... I win.

For the record...
Win number 790.

So, want to go again?

[Dog barking in distance]

Go ahead.

Free sh*t.

You know, people just
don't always appreciate

The nice things you
try to do for them.

The day after
victory number 790,

Things were a little touchy.

Hey.

But I didn't avoid paul.

-Hey.

-And he didn't avoid me, either.

We were just... Nonchalant.

I was nonchalant.

Hey.

He was nonchalant.

-Hey.

-It was kind of like the
nonchalant challenge.

But by the end of
the day, it was clear.

Somebody had to break the ice.

What's going on?

-Oh, nothing.

-So, do you want to come over
to my house after school today?

-Can't.

-Obviously a bald-faced lie.

Well, you know, I could
really use your help

Studying for history.

I mean, that stuff's
really tough, you know?

And besides,

"Mission:
impossible's" on at 4...

-Thanks, but... I got
something I got to do.

-Like what?

-Basketball tryouts.

-What?

I couldn't believe it.

I'd explained to
him, argued with him,

And the kid still
wouldn't listen to reason.

-See ya.

-And that settled that.

If paul insisted on being
something he wasn't...

I had only one option left.

[Whistle blows]

-Millman! Let's show
a little hustle, huh?!

Shake a leg!

-It was time to appeal
to a higher power...

To use the term loosely.

-Thompson!

You want a tea
party, go to boston!

[Chuckles]


-Mr. Cutlip?

-Arnold.

-I was wondering if we
could talk for a second.

See... It's about paul.

Paul pfeiffer?

-Ah. Pfeiffer.

He's not in any kind
of trouble, is he?

dr*gs? Theft? Armed robbery?

-Uh...

-Good. Glad to hear it.

-And... So much for small talk.

It's just, I'm his best friend,

And, uh... He actually thinks
you might put him on the team.

[Snickers]

-Oh, he does, does he?

-Yeah.

And...

Frankly...

I think you might
be leading him on.

-That so?

-Well, yeah.

I mean, I've played tons of
b-ball with him in my backyard,

So, yeah, I should know.

I b*at him every time.

You know?

'Course, in some way,

I knew I was betraying
my best friend,

But facts were facts.

-This isn't your backyard, son.

-Huh?

-Pfeiffer... Look at him.

-So I looked at paul.

He still looked like
the guy I'd beaten

790 Times in a row.

The only thing is...

He didn't play like him.

-Yeah!

[Clapping]

-Looking sharp there, pfeiffer!

-It was astonishing.

This was the man who'd
launched a million air balls

In my backyard?

I felt like I was watching
a total stranger,

Some kid I'd never even met.

-Yeah!

-So, I did the only
thing I could think of.

Attaboy, paul! Way to go!

And there you had it.

One word from me,

And, suddenly,
paul was paul again.

[Indistinct shouting]

-Air ball!

-Ugh!

-Come on, pfeiffer!
You're playing like a girl!

[Whistle blows]

Pankus! Get in
there for pfeiffer!

All right, let's
hustle it up, now!

Hill!

-After that, there didn't
seem to be much reason

To stick around any longer.

I mean, hey...

-Martinson, the
game is basketball!

Look it up in a dictionary,
will you? Come on!

-Didn't want to embarrass
the guy or anything.

I tried to study for my
american history test

That evening,

But somehow, I just
couldn't concentrate.

Maybe there was a reason.

-Butthead at 3:00.
Launch m*ssile.

-Wayne, knock it off, will
you?! I'm trying to study!

Wayne!

-What's the matter,
little brother?

You seem... Troubled.

You want to talk about it?

-No.

-I understand.

Some things... Just
too deep for words.

-And even though I knew I
should let the matter drop...

What do you mean by that?

-You think I'm
made out of stone?

Hey, I live around here.

I see things.

It's paul, isn't it?

I mean, you carry the guy
on your back for 14 years,

And now he doesn't
need you anymore.

Ungrateful twerp.

But, uh, don't... Don't
let it get to you.

I mean, the guy's always
been a loser, right?

-It was... Horrible.

In one fell swoop, my
neanderthal brother

Had looked into my
innermost feelings,

And it wasn't a pretty sight.

-He's not a loser, wayne.

-Sure he is.

You know it, and I know it.

If he walks like a duck...

If he talks like a duck...

Then it must be the pfeiffster.

[Chuckles]

-But, suddenly, I
knew it wasn't true...

Not anymore.

And at that moment, I
knew what I had to do.

[Thunder rumbling]

Ugh! Wayne! Think about it!

-[Grunting]

[Crickets chirping]

-When you're 14,
bruises heal quickly...

Some of them, anyway.

But that night, I
felt a kind of hurt

I knew wasn't gonna
just disappear...

Not by itself.

-I want a game.

- What?
- You heard me.

I want a game.

-Why? So I can b*at
you one more time?

-Who says you're gonna b*at me?

-Paul, I b*at you every time.

-Yeah. Well, maybe
not this time.

-[Sighs] forget it.

I don't really feel
like letting you win.

-I want a game.

-[Sighs] paul, come on.

I've been creaming you
for the past 14 years!

What makes you think it's
ever gonna be any different?

-Because!

-Because what?

-Because things change, kev.

I've changed.

-[Sighs]

Not to me.

-I know.

[Dog barking in distance]

-Prove it.

Loser's out.

-1-Zip.

-1 Up.

That night, paul
pfeiffer and I played

The most important
game of our lives.

Ah!

-Ugh.

8-6... Mine.

-We both played hard,
and we both played to win.

And no game ever mattered
more... To both of us.

11-10... Mine.

Maybe change is never easy.

You fight to hold on.

You fight to let go.

But that night,

After 790 consecutive losses...

Paul finally b*at me.

[Crowd cheering]

Paul made the
basketball team that year.

[Indistinct shouting]

And he had some loyal fans.

But his biggest fan...

-Come on, paul!

- Was also his best friend.

[Indistinct shouting]

[Whistle blowing]

[Crowd cheering]

I guess sometimes you
have to grow apart...

To keep growing together.
Post Reply