♪ Here's the story ♪
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when ♪
♪ The lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group ♪
♪ Must somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
( sighs)
( chuckles)
( sighs)
Oops!
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm not.
I've been wanting to meet you.
I'm Jennifer Nichols.
Hi. I'm Greg Brady.
I know.
I've been, uh, aware
of you for a long time,
but you probably didn't notice.
Are you kidding?
Look, I've been
wanting to meet you, too.
You know, I bet we
have a lot in common.
I'll bet we have.
What do you like?
Movies? Sports? Surfing?
Are you a surfer?
Yeah, yeah.
Fantastic!
Well, I should have known,
with a physique like yours.
Oh, well, I kind of lift
weights to keep in shape.
Oh. Maybe I should try that.
What for?
Your shape doesn't
need any improving.
Thanks. I'd still love
to learn to surf, though.
Maybe I could teach
you a few things.
Great! I'm not doing
a thing Saturday.
You are now.
Pick you up at 10:00.
Hey, uh... don't you
want my number?
Yeah.
Here. I, uh...
Wait. No, I have...
8-1-4... 9-0-3-1.
See you later... Greggy.
One, two, tell me who
are you... the Bears!
Three, four, tell me who's
gonna score... the Bears!
Five, six, tell me who's
got the kicks... the Bears!
Well, that was the beginning.
What do you think?
It looks like you're
swatting a fly.
What are you knocking
yourself out for?
Because I want to be chosen
the head cheerleader, that's why.
Well, how can you miss?
Greg's the chairman
of the committee
that's picking the
head cheerleader.
Well, what's that
got to do with it?
Well, Greg's your brother.
So what?
Brothers and sisters
are relatives... get it?
Cindy, I'm going to
win this fair and square,
brother or no brother.
MARCIA: Hi.
Hello.
What's with him?
Baloney! Joe Namath has
a better passing average...
Almost six out of
ten. That's 60%.
But Roman Gabriel has
a better passing average.
I'll prove it.
Greg, what's Joe
Namath's passing average?
814-9031.
Hi, Greg.
Hi, Mom.
How was school today?
Couldn't be better.
Hi, Alice.
ALICE: Hi.
I think he's invented
a new subject:
Frozen Geometry.
Hi, son.
Hi, Dad.
Watch this.
( laughing)
Jack Nicklaus,
eat your heart out.
Great putt, Dad.
Oh, we're gonna
m*rder them tomorrow.
m*rder who?
Joe Nelson and that
overgrown son of his.
He's been needling me all week
'cause they b*at us on Saturday.
Oh, no... I forgot
all about our game
tomorrow, Dad.
Huh?
I met this fantastic
girl in school today,
and I sort of made a
date with her for Saturday.
( chuckling): All
right, say no more.
I remember the
priorities at your age.
I'll get another partner.
Thanks, Dad.
Greg, you, uh, left these
in the refrigerator.
In the refrigerator?
Yes.
Boy, that must be some girl.
Oh, yeah, some girl.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, well, maybe I can get
Sam Murdoch for tomorrow.
Mike? Mm-hmm.
Listen, I was thinking.
You know, if I
took a lesson or two
I could learn to play golf
and then you wouldn't
have to go looking
for a partner.
A lesson or two? Yeah.
Honey, golf is a very
complicated game.
Yes, but I'm very
good at sports.
You must admit, I'm
a very good swimmer.
Well, yes, but
swimming is one thing
and golf is another.
Listen, it's taken me
years and years of practice
just to be terrible.
Greg, if you're going surfing,
how come you're
combing your hair?
He must have a new girlfriend.
He always combs his hair
when he has a new girlfriend.
Don't you guys have anything
to do besides watch me?
What's she like, Greg?
What's it to you?
She's got to be a real beast,
or he'd want to talk about her.
He's probably going out
with King Kong's sister.
Yeah, where'd you meet her,
on top of the Empire
State Building?
( imitating gorillas grunting)
Keep it up. When I come back,
I'll bring you two monkeys
a bunch of bananas.
( laughing)
( both grunting)
"Place extended left
hand over top of shaft
with three knuckles visible."
Okay. Yeah, I think so.
Right. "Place... place
right hand over the left
"so that the right palm covers
"the left thumb.
Okay, uh... "With
toes pointed outward...
slightly squat..."
Yeah. Bend at the waist."
Yeah. "Pivot hips to the right,
"shoulder under the chin
and bring club
head slowly back."
Okay, just a min... You get
your club head slowly back?
Yeah. Just a second.
"Keeping head
steady, eyes on the ball
start your downswing."
( soft thud)
Guess we'd better try
that again, huh, Alice?
Next time, holler
"Fore," would you?
I'm sorry.
What'll you have?
Hmm, I don't know.
You decide for me.
Okay.
Two Chihuahuas, please.
Light on the mustard,
heavy on the piccalilli.
Double order of French
fries and two orange drinks.
Oh, Greg, y-you're
so sure of yourself.
Well, it's... it's just a
matter of self-confidence.
That's one of your
most appealing traits.
I mean, so few real men are.
( chuckles)
And, uh... why
didn't you tell me
you were such a
fantastic surfer?
I wouldn't say fantastic.
( giggles): But you are.
I bet it ruined your whole day,
having to teach a
beginner like me.
Oh, no, I loved it.
You weren't scared, were you?
Scared? How could I be scared
with your big, strong arms
around me to protect me?
Well, I... wouldn't want to
lose my prized pupil, would I?
Oh... here we are.
Thanks.
Mm! This is good.
You certainly can pick 'em.
Yes, I certainly can pick 'em.
Oh, Greggy.
Here comes lover boy.
Oh, I'm swooning with love.
Sigh!
Okay, listen, you guys.
I'm bringing Jennifer over
to meet Mom and Dad.
I don't want any
clowning around.
Understand?
Who? Us?
Yeah.
If you want to clown around,
go join the circus.
GREG: Hi, Mom.
Hi, Greg.
Did you have a good time?
The best day of my life.
Mom, I want to bring Jennifer
over to meet you and Dad.
Oh? Well, sure, Greg.
We'd love to meet her.
How about tonight?
I'm taking her out to a movie.
Didn't you see
enough of her today?
Mom, can a person get tired
of looking at the Mona Lisa?
( sighs)
Mona Lisa!
Did he really say that?
He sure did.
Mona Lisa may have the smile,
but, apparently, Jennifer's
got everything else
to go along with it. ( chuckles)
I'm sure you're
going to like them.
Don't be nervous.
( whispers): Okay.
Mom, Dad... this
is Jennifer Nichols.
Hello. Hi, Jennifer.
Hello, Jennifer.
So, you're Greg's father.
Well, it's certainly
not hard to see
where Greg gets his good looks.
( sheepish chuckle)
What a marvelous house
you have here, Mrs. Brady!
It's no wonder Greg
has such good taste.
Isn't she something?
Yeah, she sure is.
Yes, indeed.
What a lovely picture!
Are these all your children?
Gee, I sure hope so. ( chuckles)
Your other two sons are
very nice-looking, Mr. Brady,
but Greg, well...
Did you two kids
enjoy surfing today?
Oh, at first I was terrified,
but when you're with someone
who's so strong and capable...
Now, Jennifer... You
know you are, Greggy!
Greggy?
I think if we're going to go to
that movie, we should get started.
MIKE: What picture
are you gonna see?
Uh, they got a great science-fiction
picture playing at the Cornet.
It's really exciting. I saw it.
Oh, uh, well, we could
go see something else.
JENNIFER: Oh, no, Greg.
You want to see that picture,
then that's where we're going.
Oh, no, it's not that
important, Jennifer.
I'll be happy to see it again.
It was a pleasure to meet you.
You, too, Jennifer.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
CAROL: Have fun.
Thanks.
Good night.
Talk about a snow job.
Yeah... boy,
she could give
lessons to Jack Frost.
What do you suppose she's after?
Well, I don't know.
But I get the feeling
that whatever Jennifer
wants Jennifer gets.
What's so important about
being an old
cheerleader, anyway?
Well, it's a great honor.
It shows you've got spirit.
Helps you inspire people.
And you get to meet
all the football players.
Let me see now...
I'd better try that
one more time.
Okay? Ready?
And... Three, four...
show me who's going to score!
Hey, that'll really fire
them up, huh, Greg?
No comment.
What do you mean, "no comment"?
If you're trying to influence me
because I'm chairman
of the judging committee,
you're wasting your time.
Influence you?
I just wanted your opinion.
Just because you're my sister
don't expect any favors.
Who's asking for any?
When I vote, Marcia,
it doesn't matter
who the contestant is.
I'm going to be
fair and impartial.
( phone rings)
Hello.
JENNIFER: Hi, Greggy.
Oh, just a minute.
Do you mind? I'd
like a little privacy.
My pleasure.
Hello, Jennifer.
I wanted to thank
you for the movie.
I just found out the
craziest coincidence.
What's that?
I didn't know you were
on the committee to
pick the head cheerleader!
I'm the chairman.
What's the coincidence?
I'm entering the contest
to be the head cheerleader.
You're entering the contest?
That's the dream
I've always had...
To be the head cheerleader.
Wish me luck, Greggy.
Bye.
Bye.
( line clicks)
GREG: When I vote, Marcia, it
doesn't matter who the contestant is.
I'm going to be
fair and impartial.
Wish me luck.
JENNIFER: Hi.
Hi.
Glad I ran into you.
I wanted to ask you something.
Sure. About what?
Cheerleader tryouts.
Not about the
cheers or anything.
I-I wouldn't want
to use our friendship
that way, would I, Greggy?
Of course not.
I thought I'd wear
this at the tryouts.
I picked blue
because it's, uh, your
favorite color, Greggy.
How do you think it looks?
I think it looks terrific.
I hoped you'd say that.
Better get to class.
Bye. ( blowing kiss)
Well, if it isn't
Mr. Fair-and-Impartial.
What's that supposed to mean?
You wouldn't even
watch me practice,
but you can help
her pick an outfit.
Marcia, if you think I'd vote
for her just 'cause she's...
Your girlfriend, Greggy?
Look, she has just as much right
to enter the contest as anybody.
Even more... she's
already got one sure vote.
Oh, come on, Marcia.
Well, I've got one consolation...
There are three other judges.
At least I've got a chance to
win their votes fair and square.
See, you're doing
just fine, Mrs. Brady.
It's not your fault if the
ball won't cooperate.
Golf isn't a game;
it's a form of t*rture.
Hi, Mom.
Hey, Alice.
You kids home
from school already?
My goodness, I had
no idea it was so late.
What are you doing?
Oh, well, I was, uh...
trying to surprise your father
by learning how to play golf.
It's a lot tougher
than I thought.
Doesn't look tough to me.
All's you have to
do is hit the ball
in that little thing?
That's all.
Can I try it?
Sure. Be my guest.
See? It's not so tough.
Well... there goes
what's left of my ego.
Here I've been trying
to do this for hours
Bobby walks up, without
hardly looking, just...
Alice! I did it!
Mrs. Brady, I think you've found
the secret to
golf... don't look.
Wow, am I b*at.
You'll probably be
practicing in your sleep.
What are you
working so hard for?
'Cause I'm fighting
an uphill battle.
What do you mean?
I mean Jennifer Nichols.
She's got Greg twisted
around her finger so tight
that he wouldn't sneeze
without her permission.
You're kidding!
No!
You should've seen her
at school this morning.
"I picked blue because
it's your favorite color...
Greggy."
Greggy?
My only chance now
of getting an honest vote
is from those
three other judges.
Do you think that Greg
would vote for his girlfriend
against his own sister?
Jan, you don't know
anything about life.
( sighs)
( door opens and closes)
Hi, honey. I'm home.
Hi.
Hey, what happened to your hand?
Blisters.
Well, what have you been
doing... chopping wood?
Mike, I've got two
surprises for you:
The first, I got these blisters
while I was trying to
learn how to play golf.
You're kidding.
I figured, if you ever needed
a partner, I'd be ready.
Oh... honey,
that's sweet of you.
That's very sweet.
What's the second surprise?
My five iron.
I did it while I was practicing.
I'm sorry.
Oh, honey...
Well, this will come in handy
if I ever want to
sh**t around a tree.
( chuckles)
I got it!
What happened?
What's the matter?
I figured out my problem
with Marcia and Jennifer.
For that you have to wake us up?
We were fast asleep.
I've been worried about nothing.
I'm the chairman
of that committee.
When the three
judges pick the winner,
I won't even have to vote.
I'm off the hook!
GREG ( chuckles): That was fine.
The next contestant
is Pat Conway.
Ready, g*ng, hit it!
One, two, tell me who
are you... the Bears!
Three, four, tell me who's
going to score... the Bears!
Five, six, tell me who's
got the kicks... the Bears!
Seven, eight, tell me who's
really great... the Bears!
Nine, ten, tell me who's
going to win... the Bears!
Say it again... the Bears!
Who's going to win?
The Bears... yay!
( applause)
Thanks, Pat. That was great.
Uh, the next one...
is Marcia Brady.
Ready, and...
One, two, tell me who
are you... the Bears!
Three, four, tell me who's
got the score... the Bears!
Five, six, tell me who's
got the kicks... the Bears!
Seven, eight, tell me who's
really great... the Bears!
Nine, ten, tell me who's
going to win... the Bears!
Say it again... the Bears!
Say it again... the Bears!
Yay, team!
( applause) Thank you, Marcia.
The last contestant
is Jennifer Nichols.
Ready, and...
One, two, tell me who
are you... the Bears.
Three, four, tell me who's
going to score... the Bears.
Five, six, tell me who's
got the kicks... the Bears.
Seven, eight, tell me who's
really great... the Bears.
Nine, ten, tell me who's
going to win... the Bears.
Say it again... who's
going to win? The Bears.
Yay, Bears!
( applause)
Uh, thank you, Jennifer.
If the judges will
tally their scores,
we'll have a winner.
May I have the papers, please?
We have one vote
for Jennifer Nichols.
One vote for Marcia Brady.
And we have one
vote for Pat Conway.
Looks like we have
a three-way tie.
In the event of a three-way
tie, the chairman decides it.
That's me.
Baloney! I bet Greg
voted for Marcia.
And I say he voted for Jennifer.
You'll see when he gets here.
Why should he vote for Jennifer
instead of his own sister?
Peter, you don't know
anything about life.
Hey, Dad, is Mom
getting any better?
Well, she's great, as long
as she keeps her eyes closed.
Aw... Honey, wait a minute, no.
You've got to relax
your hips a little bit here.
Ah, who cares if
I'm good or bad?
Huh? The lessons are terrific.
Hi. CAROL: Hi.
MIKE: Hi.
CAROL: Well, is
the contest over?
Yeah. What happened?
Well, it was a three-way tie.
I had to cast the deciding vote.
Of all the luck.
Jennifer?
Marcia.
No. I voted for Pat.
Pat?
GREG: Pat Conway.
I really thought
she was the best.
Now Marcia and Jennifer
are both going to hate me.
Here it comes.
Hi, Mom, hi, Dad. CAROL: Hi.
Hi, Marcia. Hi, Greg.
You're still talking to me?
Greg, I take back what I said.
You've got a lot more character
than I gave you credit for.
You mean that?
Yeah. You know, I would
have liked to have won,
but Pat was the best.
She deserved to win.
Well, it doesn't sound
like she hates you.
Say, if Marcia isn't mad,
maybe Jennifer
won't be mad, either.
( chuckling)
After all, Jennifer's
crazy about me.
( line ringing)
JENNIFER: Hello?
Hi, Jennifer... Greggy.
Say, Marcia understood why
I voted for Pat, and I'm sure...
( click)
Hello?
Hello?
She, uh... hung up on me.
You know, it could be... What?
Well... this may
sound ridiculous,
but it's just possible
that Jennifer was
trying to use me
to win that
cheerleading contest.
Well, I guess that's possible.
Yeah, that's it.
You can take it from me, Dad,
because if there's one thing
I know about, it's women.
( both chuckling)
( door opens and closes)
Hi.
GREG AND MIKE: Hi.
Well, did you have a good game?
Oh, best day I ever
had on the golf course.
Remember, Dad, every Saturday
from now on, we got a date, huh?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Boy, he must've
had a great score.
Never played worse.
Why all the enthusiasm?
Because of something
he saw in the pro shop.
A new set of golf
clubs? A new golf bag?
Golf pro's daughter.
Blond, blue-eyed and
a figure like... oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Come on.
I'll fix you something
cold to drink.
Yep. If it's one thing
he knows about,
it's women.