04x13 - Love and the Older Man

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Brady Bunch". Aired: September 1969 to March 1974.*
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A woman with three daughters marries a widower with three sons.
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04x13 - Love and the Older Man

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

( sniffs): Oh, boy. Mm!

That meat loaf does smell good.

Yeah, and it will be
just perfect for Marcia

after her visit to the dentist.

Last time I went to the dentist,

the only thing I could
chew was ice cream.

( shuffling her feet)

( sighs)

Marcia, are you all right?

Mm-hmm.

Are you in pain?

Pain?

You did go to the
dentist today, didn't you?

Mm-hmm.

I don't know what he gave her,

but I'd like some.

Well, honey, what
did Dr. Gordon say

about your teeth?

Dr. Gordon?

Oh, he's on vacation in Europe.

I saw Dr. Vogel.

Dr. Stanley Vogel.

Oh, you should see him.

He is far out.

Dr. Vogel must be
Dr. Gordon's new associate.

Mm-hmm.

He has dark, gorgeous
hair, dreamy eyes,

groovy bell-bottom
pants, neat shoes...

and he plays the best rock
and roll music in his office.

What does he use on your teeth,

a guitar pick?

What did Dr. Vogel
say about your teeth?

My teeth?

Oh, he liked them.

That's nice.

Oh, and the best
part's Thursday!

What's Thursday?

I get to go back for my filling!

( sighs)

Boy, that Dr. Vogel

sounds like the greatest thing

that's happened to
dentistry since Novocain.

What are you staring at?

My teeth.

Well, you've seen
them before lots of times.

I know, but they're
different now.

Hey, listen to this.

"Are you an old maid at 19?"

You and those Teentime
Romance magazines.

Marcia, if I didn't
read this magazine,

I wouldn't understand
life's problems.

I wish I was old enough
to have problems.

Listen. "One way to
achieve a successful marriage

is for a girl to marry a man..."

Well, big deal.
Even I know that.

It's continued, dum-dum.

"to marry a man who is ten
to 12 years older than she is."

Hey, that's interesting.

What else does it say?

Well, it says that an older man

will be more stable,
tender and understanding.

Yeah. That makes sense.

Maybe that's why
I like Joey Vinton.

He's an older man. He's 12.

Cindy, they're not
talking about children.

They're talking about men.

They leave out the
most important thing:

Where do you find older men?

Well, I guess, if
you're lucky enough,

you could find one anywhere.

Maybe even in
a dentist's office.

You mean that new
dentist, Dr. Vogel?

How old is he?

I don't know. 27 or 28.

Gee, that's old.

Hey, according to this article,

he'd be perfect for you.

There's only one problem.

To him, I'm just a
mouthful of teeth.

Hi, honey.

Hi, dear.

Say, something smells good.

Yeah, it's my new perfume.

That's funny 'cause it
smells like meat loaf.

Ah, yes, his lips are
in the living room,

but his heart is in the kitchen.

Ah, yeah. Anything new?

Yeah. You got a
call from Miss Miller.

Miss Miller?

Yes. She has a very
throaty, sexy voice.

Oh, yeah? What'd she say?

She said, "Tell Mr. Brady

he has an
appointment... tomorrow."

( chuckles)

With the dentist.

Oops. I forgot about that.

Mm. Gee, my teeth are
beginning to hurt already.

I know, according to Marcia, you
haven't got a thing to worry about.

The dentist is a
dreamboat. Oh, yeah?

Since when is old
Dr. Gordon a dreamboat?

No, no. It's his
assistant, Dr. Vogel.

Marcia says

"When he looks at you
with those big blue eyes

he's painless."

Well, I hope his
bill is painless.

( laughs)

Well, that wasn't
so bad, was it?

Well, I wouldn't say
I exactly enjoyed it.

I've had a rougher
time in a barber chair.

Well, I must be
doing something right.

You know, my daughter thinks

you're quite a dentist.

Well, thanks. She's a
sharp, nice young lady.

Yeah. She's awarded
you, you know,

her generation's supreme
compliment: you are groovy.

I told you she was sharp.

By the way, does she
ever do any baby-sitting?

Yeah, sometimes on the weekends.

Good.

My wife and I have
a three-year-old

and we need a
sitter this Friday.

I'm sure she'd be happy
to if she's available.

Of course, you have
to supply the essentials.

Essentials?

A television set, a refrigerator
and at least one telephone.

( laughs) Okay.

GREG: Hey! This is going
to be a neat looking go-cart.

If we ever get it finished.

Where'd you get the engine?

From Mr. Morton's old lawnmower.

Isn't it neat?

It's terrific.

You guys can go for a ride

and mow the street
at the same time.

Very funny.

I was only kidding.

Can I give you a hand?

Sure. Thanks.

We'll give you a ride sometime.

Thanks, Bobby.

Hey, Marcia.

Hmm?

Uh, I got a message
for you from Eddie Bryan.

What about?

We're going
bowling Friday night.

He wants to take you.

Well, I guess it's okay.

What do you mean,
you guess it's okay?

Eddie Bryan!

Well, if you ask me,
he's kind of immature.

What do you mean, immature?

Just what I said.
He's only a boy.

Marcia, what are
you talking about?

He's the same age I am.

That's what I mean: immature.

Let's get this thing finished

so I can run her over.

Alice, what are you doing?

I'm listening for
clinks. Clinks?

Yeah, sometimes I suck up some
loose change and it makes clinks.

Would you try to
clink up a new sofa?

Hi, honey. Hi, sweetheart.

Hi, Alice.

Hey, quick, tell me, how
was your dental appointment?

Oh, shade your eyes.

Oh, I can't stand the glare.

( dreamily): How is Dr. Vogel?

You know, Marcia is right:

he is indeed
charming and groovy.

Gee, I'm not supposed to
see him for another month,

but maybe I can get my
appointment pushed up.

What I need is a couple
of good quick cavities.

No, sorry, Alice, he's
married and he has a family.

By the way, you
know, Dr. Vogel asked

if Marcia could
baby-sit Friday night.

Yeah, I don't see why not.
Why don't you go ask her.

She's up in her
room studying. Okay.

Hi, kids.

Hi. Hi, honey.

Say, Marcia, are you
busy Friday night?

Uh, I have a date, Dad. Why?

Oh, well, nothing.

If you're busy,
it's not important.

Hey, Dad, what's not important?

Oh, well, Dr. Vogel
wanted to know

if you were free Friday night,

but if you're busy, forget it.

Did you hear that! Oh!

He wants to know if
I'm busy Friday night!

He actually noticed you.

I can't believe it!

And he's an older man.

According to Teentime Romance,

you're the perfect couple.

I wonder why he
asked Dad and not me.

Well, that's the way they
always did it in the olden times.

The boyfriend asked permission

from the father first.

Sure. Don't you
watch old movies?

Oh, an older man noticed me!

Oh, no. It's terrible. What?

Well, I have a dentist
appointment tomorrow

and... I don't have
a thing to wear.

I think we're all set to try it.

Good.

I get the feeling I
forgot something.

What?

I forget.

Here goes.

( motor sputters, dies)

( motor sputters, dies)

Harder.

This is as hard
as I can pull it.

I don't know, it's...

Oh, for crying out
loud, there's no gas.

That's what I forgot.

( wolf whistle)
Hey, look at you.

Do my eyes deceive me?

You're wearing girl's clothes.

I have a very
important appointment.

What kind of appointment?

It doesn't concern you children.

La-di-da...

Just go off and play
with your dumb little toys.

( motor Bronx cheers)

And the same to you!

I hope that didn't hurt.

What didn't hurt?

The drill.

Oh, I loved it.

You can't believe

how many people
complain, but not you.

I never complain.

Rinse, please.

Well, that's one of the
things I like about you.

Mm... I love the taste
of your mouthwash.

By the way, what
about Friday night?

Did your father mention it?

Yeah... but I sort
of have a date.

It's not really a date.

It's only with Eddie
Bryan, a youth at school.

Oh. That's too bad.

I'll have to find someone else.

I've got tickets for the ballet.

The ballet?

You like the ballet?

I'm mad about it.

I've never been,
but I'm mad about it.

Let's see how that looks.

Open wide, please.

Uh, I'm sure Eddie
will understand.

I can break a date.

Just keep opening wide, Marcia.

I wouldn't want
you to break a date.

Well, it's not
anything important.

No, no, no. There
will be other nights.

Wider, please.

It's okay. I'm sure it is.

You're sure it's no trouble?

Positive.

All right, then... Friday.

I can't stay out
very late, though.

Oh, no problem.

The ballet ought
to be over by 11:00.

Wonderful.

Could you be ready at 7:00?

Oh, I can be ready even earlier.

No, 7:00 is fine.

I'll pick you up at your house.

( whispering): Wow.

We ought to paint
a number on it...

A really good number.

What do you mean,
a really good number?

One like... 99.

What's so great about 99?

Well... if it ever turns
over, then it's 66!

Hey, how about 66?

If it ever turns
over, it'll be... 99.99.

Hey, you guys could make it 88.

Then if it turns
over it'll still be 88.

Hey, Marcia! Hey! Watch out!

We're trying to
paint this thing.

Really! You children
and your juvenile hobbies.

Children?

Since when did
you get to be so old?

( in elderly voice): Eh?
Speak up, can't hear you.

Greg, would you
come here a minute?

Uh, would you tell
Eddie Bryan that...

I can't go out with
him Friday night?

I have another date.

You can't do that to him.

I already told him you'd go.

He's already shaved!

I'm sorry,

but I've got more
mature things to do.

Hi, Mom.

Hi.

Uh... Mom?

Yeah?

Did, uh, Dad mention anything

about Dr. Vogel
and Friday night?

Yes, he did mention it.

And it's okay?

Sure. Why not?

It'll be a good
experience for you.

Wow! So, with the
traffic and everything

I may not be home
till about midnight...

and it's still okay?

As long as I know
where you are, dear,

I won't worry.

Oh, Mom, you're the most

understanding mother
in the whole world!

What'd I say?

Jan...

Jan.

He did it. What?

He asked me for a date.

Who did?

Dr. Vogel!

Oh, Marcia, your
first older man.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

Thanks.

Where are you going to meet him?

He's coming here!

Here? Yeah.

Friday night at 7:00.

Well, is it all right
with Mom and Dad?

Mom said it would
be a good experience!

Oh, wow, that's great, Marcia!

Too much!


( gasps): A first date...

can lead to a second date...

and then that might
lead to a third...

and then... maybe
even going steady...

and that might
lead to... marriage!

Imagine... me...
Mrs. Marcia Dentist.

( dreaming): Mrs.
Marcia Dentist.

Mrs. Marcia Dentist!

MAN: Marcia Brady, do
you promise to love, honor

brush up and down

and see your
dentist twice a year?

I do.

And you, Dr. Dentist, do you
take Marcia for better or worse

for cavities, for root canal
work and orthodontia?

I do.

With the powers vested in
me by the Dental Association,

I now pronounce
you wife and dentist.

JAN: Marcia?

I'm talking to you.

( chuckles) I guess
I was daydreaming.

And what a dream!

Marcia, dinner's
just about ready.

You better get cleaned up. Okay.

Mom, when's
dinner? We're starved!

Any minute now.

Cindy, would you get me a
couple of napkins, please?

'Kay.

CAROL: Well, Alice, I
think we're just about ready.

ALICE: So are the dinner rolls.

Mummy.

Oh, mummy, we are
quite ready for dinner.

We're dreadfully hungry.

In a moment, my angels.

( Alice singing happily)

Oh, mon petit Cindy.

Get me two napkins,
s'il vous plaît.

Oui, Madamoiselle Alice.

And I shall help you.

Ah, Madam, ze children,
they are fantastiques!

A blessing.

( sighs)

CAROL: Dinner, Marcia.

Marcia!

Oh, uh, uh, I'm coming, Mom.

Hi, honey.

CAROL: Hi, dear.

Boy, you look b*at.

Yeah. What a day.

Really rough, huh?

MIKE: Well, there's no
pleasing some clients.

Give 'em modern 'cause
they ask for modern,

they want early American.

CAROL: Well, maybe
tomorrow will be better.

I doubt it.

Mm...

Hello, my dearest.

Hi, honey.

BOTH: Mm.

Rough day?

Oh, brutal.

The way people thoughtlessly
break appointments.

Oh... Rinse. You'll feel better.

I feel better just
being with you.

Patient trouble?

The Levine kid bit me!

Again?

That makes the
third time this month.

And if that wasn't enough,

I spent all afternoon

extracting an impacted molar.

I'm so proud of you, my darling.

Because of you there's one less

impacted molar in the world.

Relax. You're at
home with me now.

( contented sigh)

Are you sure?

That's awful.

Well, I'll have to tell Marcia.

Oh, well, thanks. Bye.

Marcia? Yeah?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Well, make it short, okay?

I've got to get on this algebra.

Well, I was just talking
to my friend Cathy.

And she's got a friend
who has a sister, and...

she was thinking of going out

with a married man. Mm-hmm.

What do you think of that?

Well, I think that's terrible.

But, uh, what if she was
in love with this man?

Well, it still doesn't
make any difference.

He's a married man.

But what if she
didn't find that out

till after they fell in love?

Well, it's still wrong.

Can you imagine
what kind of life

this poor girl would have?

Hiding in the shadows,

waiting by herself as the
clock ticks off the empty hours,

doomed to be the
other woman for life!

That's not for me.

I'm glad to hear you say that,

because... he's married.

Who's married?

Dr. Vogel, your date.

He's got a wife, children,

maybe even a dog.

Dr. Vogel?

Yes.

Cathy's parents are friends

of Dr. Vogel and his wife.

Are you absolutely positive?

Positive.

What are you going to do?

( sighs) I don't know.

Hi, Alice.

Hi, honey.

Alice, can I talk to you?

Sure, sweetie.

I mean woman to woman.

Be a little hard for us
to do it any other way.

This is serious.

Oh.

Well, sure, honey.

Here... sit down.

Let's talk.

Well... suppose you
found out something

about your boyfriend Sam.

Like what?

Well... suppose all the
time that you've been dating

Sam's been married
to someone else.

Marcia, do you know
something I don't know?

No! I'm just
supposing, that's all.

But what would you do

if you found out
Sam was married?

Well, no butcher better tell me

something like that with a
meat cleaver on the counter.

You're sure we're not
talking about Sam now?

Oh, positive.

It's some other woman

who's facing that problem.

Somebody you know?

Yeah.

And I was hoping you
could give her some advice.

Oh, well, I'd say stop
the romance right away.

How?

Well, I'm not sure...

My problems with romance
have never been stopping one,

it's always been starting one.

I mean, how would
you stop it, Alice?

Would you write him a letter

or phone him, or what?

Oh, no. I'd face him with it

right away, face to face!

Get it over with
real quick, huh?

Right.

Thanks, Alice.

( door slams)

( firmly): Dr. Vogel?

Oh, hi, Marcia.

Uh, did we have an appointment?

No, but I had to
see you at once.

No, don't tell me
that filling came out.

Please, sit in the chair.

Dr. Vogel... I can't
go on like this!

Well, I'm sure you can't.

The pain must be pretty bad.

I almost couldn't
do my algebra test!

Marcia, why didn't
you call me at home?

That would have even
been more painful.

More painful?

Dr. Vogel, we can't go on

seeing each other like this,

even though we
haven't had our first date!

Our first date? I... I
know you were afraid

if you told me you were married

I wouldn't have accepted.

I realize that older men

are attracted to younger girls.

I read Teentime
Romance magazine.

Oh, I can see you do.

Do you mean

the date I asked
your father about?

Yes. It was very gallant of
you to ask his permission.

Oh, I think I understand.

I'm flattered that you
find me attractive, but...

I couldn't break
up your marriage.

Marcia... you're
wiser than your years.

That's why I have to
give you up, Doctor.

If that's what you really want.

That's the way it has to be.

I give you back

to your wife and your children.

( earnestly): I
thank you, Marcia.

My wife and children
thank you, too.

Dr. Vogel?

I think you should know that...

I'm not ever going to
say anything about this

to my friends or my family.

Believe me,
Marcia, I won't either.

Oh, by the way... Yes?

I'll still be in on Wednesday
to have my teeth cleaned.

( chuckling)

Greg?

Greg?

I don't know if I
want to talk to a chick

who breaks dates
with my friends.

Does... does Eddie
Bryan have another date

for Friday night yet?

No, thanks to you.

Good. 'Cause I want
to call him right now.

I'd love to go out with him.

Wait a minute, I
thought you said

Eddie was too immature for you.

You know, there's
a lot to be said

for growing old together.

GREG: Come on, Marcia!

Would you calm down?

Eddie can't hold that bowling
lane all night! Hurry up.

Good night, kids, have fun.

Bye-bye. You, too.

Don't be late.

Good night, Mom.
Good night, Dad.

And drive carefully.

I will.

I wonder what changed her mind

about Dr. Vogel tonight.

I don't know, and
she really seemed

to be looking
forward to it, too.

I know why Marcia changed
her mind about Dr. Vogel tonight.

Why?

Well...

I better not tell you.

You're not young enough to know.

Oh, teenagers... by
the time you understand

what they're talking about

they're not teenagers anymore.

( motor repeatedly
fails to start)

This thing's never
going to work.

I've about had it.

Where are we going
to get a new motor?

Next time, I'll handle it.

( motor starts)

( backfiring)

Hey, um, guys... Um... uh...

Stop... stop it!

Hey, look! ( yelling)

( screaming)

( yelling)
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