05x06 - Triangle

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Wonder Years". Aired: January 1988 to May 1993.*
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05x06 - Triangle

Post by bunniefuu »

-♪ What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ♪

♪ Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ♪

♪ Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ♪

♪ I will try not to
sing out of key, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪
- ♪ by with a little help
from my friends ♪

-♪ All I need is my buddies ♪

-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪

-♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ - ♪
try with a little help from my friends ♪

-♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪

-♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

-♪ Somebody who
knows quite sure ♪

♪ Baby ♪

-♪ By with a little
help from my friends ♪

-♪ Said I'm gonna make
it with my friends ♪

-♪ Try with a little
help from my friends ♪

-♪ Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ♪

-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪

♪ I'm gonna keep on
trying now, baby ♪

-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

-The 1970s were filled
with improbable events,

Strange occurrences,

Unexpected happenings.

But nothing was
quite as improbable

As my brother...

And his new girlfriend.

-Why is sandy tyler
dating your brother?

Got me.

-What is it, like some kind
of science experiment?

-Got me.

-It defied explanation.

Sandy tyler was a seemingly
intelligent 11th-grader.

She was smart. She was pretty.

-She's out of her mind.

-Seemed as good an
explanation as any.

-Hey, kev. How's it going?

-Hi, kevin.

-Hi. How you doing?

-Good.

"Scarlet letter," huh?

Yeah, we read that last year.

-Yeah. It's really...

- Thick?
- Yeah.

It's really thick.

-And stupid.

I mean, the lady is
tempted once by love,

And she's made a
complete outcast.

I think the town overreacted.

Right, wayne?

-Uh...

Uh... Indubitably.

It was amazing.

- Well, we better get going.
- Okay.

- Come on.
- Bye.

-By some fantastic
stroke of cosmic luck,

My brother had found paradise...

A girl with charm,
a girl with style,

A girl... Who used
her silverware.

-This is great, mrs. Arnold.

-Yes. It's, uh, superb.

-Oh, well, thank you.

-Needless to say,
it was a shock.

I was shocked.

Dad was shocked.

-Only my mother seemed
to have expected this.

-So, how did you two meet?

Let me tell.

I was running to class
and I tripped on the stairs

And I was falling
and all of a sudden...

There was wayne.

-Lucky me.

- I'll say.
- I'll say.

-Yep, wayne was really
improving himself socially.

-Not to mention academically.

-Don't look at the keys.
Don't look at the keys.

Don't look at the keys.
Don't look at the keys.

Don't look at the keys.

Excellent technique, mr. Arnold.

-Thanks.

-Not you.

-Thanks.

-Let's face it. The
guy was on a roll.

-Let's see your
work, mr. Arnold.

-Whereas for me...

The story of my
life read more like...

-"Dodopklin erflemma
maschmal klum

Scalami asterotera spalumpkum."

-I didn't look at the keys.

-Sophomores.

-It was true.

While my worthless
brother was hitting his stride,

I seemed to be losing
ground, and fast.

For one thing, I was in a
very serious dating slump.

I'm not sure why, exactly.

-Hey, I'd watch out for
those mashed potatoes.

I bet there's a lot
of parasites in 'em.

-Creep.

-Possibly... Just possibly...

It had something to
do with my technique.

Seemed the harder I
tried, the worse things got.

-Okay. See you later.

-Bye.

-Batter up!

-Hey, alice. How you doing?

-Hi, kevin.

-What's wrong?

-My geometry teacher
caught me cheating.

I don't even think
it is cheating!

- Well, it's not!
- You weren't there!

-Right. But... I bet it wasn't.

-Instead of copying
the notes from the book,

I copied from
someone else's paper.

It's not like I wrote
the answer on my hand!

What difference does it
make who I copied from?

Now my teacher's
gonna tell my parents

And I'm gonna get an "f,"

And it's gonna be on
my permanent record!

-You want to go to the
dance with me on friday?

-Huh?

-Okay. My timing might
have been a little off.

-I'm sorry.

I know you're upset
and everything.

-No. It's okay.

I'd like to go with you.

-Great.

-But richard rachman
already asked me.

-Oh.

Yeah. Richard.

-He's very sensitive.

-The guy sniffed his gym socks.

-Yeah. He's... Real sensitive.

Well, I hope you feel better.

-Thanks.

Kevin?

Can I copy your history notes?

-It didn't make sense.

- Bye.
- Bye.

-All over school,

Girls were going out with
jerks and calling them "sensitive"

Or dumb guys and
calling them "deep."

It just wasn't fair.

I decided to get away,
be alone, by myself,

Forget all about things like...

Romance.

-Hi.

-Hi!

-Hi.

-Sorry. I didn't know
anyone was down here.

-It's okay. Come on, sit down.

-Yeah. Join us.

-Talk about your warm welcomes.

-No, thanks. I got a
lot of stuff to do.

-Kevin, sit down. We're
watching "sonny and cher."

-Yeah.

-Well, maybe for a second.

-Great.

-Being... Being sexy is
not that big of a deal.

-How would you know?

-Okay. Best comedy team.

-Abbott and costello.

-Laurel and hardy.

-Martin and lewis.

-The three stooges.

"Why, I oughta..."
- "Why, I oughta..."

Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.

-That's not funny, cher.

-I couldn't believe it.

My brother, wayne,
was actually being funny

And charming.

-Uh, I got to go to the can.

-You know why you're jealous?

I have more talent
in my little finger...

This one here... Than
most people have...

-They are so good together.

-Let's hear it for sonny
bono's little finger.

-I-i think it's 'cause
they're so in love.

-Yeah, you can tell.

I mean, they really like
being around each other.

-Yeah.

-And suddenly, I felt
very relaxed with her.

Maybe because it was I didn't
have to ask her for a date.

-Do you think...

There's one special
person for everyone?

-I don't know.

I think you can be happy
with lots of people.

But there's probably
one person out there.

- Yeah. That's
what I think, too.

-But who knows if you're
ever gonna find that person?

I mean, my girl could be
in alaska, for all I know.

Yeah.

-Yeah.

-It was a heavy conversation.

-I've had it about
up to here with you.

-That's easy. You're short.

-Oh, I love it when she
makes those short jokes.

-Yeah, it's funny.

-I don't think she's trying
to be nasty or anything.

-No!

No. You can tell she's just
being funny and everything.

-♪ They say we're young
and we don't know ♪

♪ We won't find
out until we grow ♪

-♪ Well, I don't know
if all that's true ♪

♪ 'Cause you got me,
and, baby, I got you ♪

-Did I miss anything?

- No.
- No.

- ♪ I got you, babe ♪
- ♪ I got you, babe ♪

♪ I got you, babe ♪
♪ I got you, babe ♪

-The next morning, I was
feeling extremely guilty.

I had kissed my
brother's girlfriend.

At the same time,

I kept playing it over
and over again in my mind.

Sandy just leaned over and...

-Uh...

Hi, dad.

-Hi.

-I-i was just...

Uh...

Seeing... If...

Making sure that...

I... Wasn't doing anything.

-I didn't see anything.

-Oh.

-One thing was clear.

I couldn't handle
this thing alone.

-It was time to talk this
out privately, one on one.

-Hey, sandy.

-Hi, kevin.

-Hey.

-Hey.

How you guys doing?

-Great.

-Well... I'd...

Better go to class.

-And that was that.

The whole thing had
meant nothing at all,

In which case I felt relieved.

I felt happy.

I felt completely ticked off.

-Kevin?

-Oh.

Hi.

-We need to talk.

-Yeah. Right.

I mean, last night...

-We kissed.

-Yeah. We kissed.

And I don't know if that
meant anything or not.

-Did it mean something to you?

-Yeah, it meant something.

-It meant something to me, too.

It's just that, uh, kevin,
I'm dating your brother.

-I know.

And it makes me feel creepy.

I've done some strange
things in my life, but, uh...

Going out with two brothers...

-It was weird.

Here she was,
baring her soul to me,

And all I could think of was...
What other strange things?

-The thing is, I like wayne.

I mean, he's so...

So...

He's so basic.

-Yeah.

He's... Basic.

And he's real nice.

-It's just that I don't know
what happened last night.

You seemed so lonely.

-Oh.

-And... We were watching
"sonny and cher"

And they were together and...

And we kissed.

And it was almost like
sonny and cher kissed.

This is a dumb
conversation, huh?

-Kind of.

-It's just all too crazy.

-Yeah.

It is.

-Yeah.

I think it would be best

If we could, uh,
just be friends.

-Yeah.

You're right.

I think friends is...

Definitely the way to go.

Yeah.

-Was that a friendship kiss?

Yeah.

We should definitely
just be friends.

-♪ They say we're young
and we don't know... ♪

-For the rest of the day,

We were friends all over school.


-♪ Well, I don't know
if that's all true ♪

♪ 'Cause you got me,
and, baby, I got you ♪

-Sure, I knew it was wrong.

But I didn't care.

-Dad...

Can I borrow a couple bucks?

-Until that friday.

-Well, I'm taking sandy
to the dance tonight.

-Oh.

-Things were getting
a little complicated.

-Are you going, kevin?

-To put it mildly.

Are you kidding?

Butthead can't get a date.

-Yeah, I'm going.

-Oh. Well, that's good.

Maybe you'll meet someone there.

-If only she knew.

-You know, your father
and I met at a school dance.

Do you remember that, jack?

-Uh-huh.

-It's the last time you ever
talked to d*ck claiborne.

-Great.

I'm stuck in this
terrible situation,

And my mother is
gonna relive old times.

-He was your
father's best friend.

d*ck took me to the dance,

But I saw your father there.

Of course, I'd seen him before,

But he was in a new suit.

Skinny as a rail.

-Anyway...

They had this
terrible fight over me,

And they haven't talked since.

-So?

-So...

It was worth it.

-And for some reason,
suddenly, I was listening.

Had my father really said that?

So...

It was worth it.

-He had.

And as those words
rang in my head like a gong,

I made up my mind.

No matter what it did to wayne,
I would have to be with sandy.

She was definitely worth it.

-Hey, butthead.

What do you think of the shirt?

- It looks cool.
- I'll change.

-I began to build my case.

Look at him. He
didn't deserve her.

He was disgusting.

"Basic"? He was subhuman.

He was a cretin.

He always picked
on me, took my stuff,

Treated me like dirt.

The guy never offered me
one thing in his entire life.

-You need a ride tonight?

-Except for a ride.

-You're talking to me?

-Yeah! You can come
with sandy and me.

-I don't know, wayne.

-Come on. It'll be fun.

-It was horrible.

Here I was, trying to
knock the guy down,

And all he was
being was... Nice.

-You really like her, huh?

-Duh. Yeah.

-And then he said
something I'll never forget.

-Sandy...

Makes me better than I am.

Whatever that means.

Um... I'm leaving
in a half-hour.

Be ready.

-And then I realized who
the cretin really was.

It was me.

I was lower than a cretin.

I was lower than subhuman.

I was yeast.

-♪ If a picture... ♪

♪ If a picture paints
a thousand words ♪

♪ Then why can't I paint you? ♪

-Don't do this.

-♪ When i... ♪

-♪ The words will
never show... ♪

-♪ Ne... Mm ♪

♪ The you I've grown to know ♪

-As I sat there,

Feeling the romance in that car,

I knew I'd been kidding myself.

I could never go
through with this.

-Hmm.

Let's boogie.

-Wayne...

Let's just stay in
the car for a minute.

I-i need to talk to you.

-Unfortunately, sandy could.

-Yeah! Let's all stay.

-Kevin, I need to
talk to wayne alone.

-Well, I don't mind
staying. Really.

-Kid likes hanging around me.

-Kevin...

-♪ You come and
pour yourself on me ♪

-Um...

-I couldn't hear what
they were saying,

But I didn't have to.

I knew what it meant.

-♪ ...i'd be with you ♪

-♪ Well, take me back down
where cool water flows, yeah ♪

-I walked around in a daze,

Worried that sandy
had broken up with him...

Worried that she hadn't.

-Hey!

Kevin.

How you doing?

-Okay.

- Let's go.
- Uh-huh.

-Your dates look cool.

-Oh, thanks.

I hope they come back.

-♪ I can hear the
bullfrog callin' me ♪

-I'll see you guys later, okay?

- Sandy.
- Kevin.

-You can't break up with wayne.

-I just did. I had to.

-What did he say?

-He felt bad. So did i.

-Does he know... About us?

We shouldn't have done this.

-Kevin, I really
want to be with you.

-I got to go talk to him.

Hey.

How you doing?

-♪ They say every distance... ♪

-Look, wayne...

Listen, i...

-I broke up with sandy.

-What?

-Dumped her.

-You did?

-Yeah.

It wasn't working out.

She wasn't my type.

-♪ I see my light come shinin' ♪

-The thing is, I don't want
to get philosophical...

But I think even
though she's hurt,

And...

Even though she feels...

Like nobody loves her
and she's all alone...

-♪ I shall be released ♪

- It's better if it ended fast

Because she...

Has a better chance
of getting over it...

-♪ They say that
every man must fall ♪

- Someday.

-♪ Yet I swear I
see my reflection ♪

♪ Somewhere so high... ♪

-As I sat there,

Listening to my brother's pain

And the lies he
told to cover it,

I didn't know what to do.

I knew I wanted
to be with sandy,

Holding her in my
arms, dancing with her.

-♪ From the west
down to the east ♪

-But in the end, I
stayed with my brother.

Because, after all...

He was my brother.

-♪ Now yonder stands a
man in this lonely crowd ♪

-Butthead.

-Buttbrain.

-♪ A man who swears
he's not to blame ♪

♪ All day long, I hear
him shouting so loud ♪

♪ Just crying out
that he was framed ♪

♪ I see my light come shinin' ♪

♪ From the west... ♪
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