-Ever since there have
been fathers and sons,
There have been
father-and-son traditions,
Rituals that bond man
to boy and knit boy to man.
In my family, there
was one tradition
That outranked all others
in sheer gross ritual tonnage.
The triennial arnold
three-day fishing trip.
-That everything?
- Think so.
- Yeah.
-Ah, let me check.
-Every few years, dad would
round up the poles and boots
And his old army
tent from the attic
And pack us off for a
weekend at berlinger falls.
Not that we had a
choice in the matter.
-Okay. Looks like we got it all.
Everybody ready?
-No.
Yes.
-Right, dad. We're ready.
-Good. Let's get started.
-So, that fall of 1972,
We headed off for our
first expedition since I was 12.
- I get the front seat.
- I get the front.
-Just get in the car!
-Fine. Then I get the backseat.
Sucker.
-Butthead.
The funny thing is,
Of all the trips we ever made,
it's the one I remember most,
Not because it was
the best or the worst...
-Are we there yet?
-Wayne.
-Hey, just asking.
- But because it was the last.
-♪ Baby ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Said I'm gonna make
it with my friends ♪
-♪ Try with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Oh, oh, I'm gonna
keep on tryin' ♪
-♪ Get by with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ I'm gonna keep
on tryin', now, babe ♪
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
-Berlinger falls...
Fresh air, trees,
A suburban
outdoorsman's valhalla.
Where men could kick
back in the company of men...
Such as they were.
It was a place where
dads could be dads
And kids could be kids.
Where fathers and sons
could share things... Together.
Three men in a tent.
-♪ I'm going up the country ♪
♪ Babe, don't you want ♪
-Trouble was, to get
there, first you had to be...
Three men in a car.
-Gee, dad. Think you could
drive a little bit slower?
-What are you talking
about? I'm driving 55.
-Whoa.
-Not that bickering in the
bucket was anything new to us.
-Kevin, I said turn
down that music.
-Why?
- It's too loud.
- It is not.
-♪ Tastes like wine ♪
-Still, this time,
It was clear
something had changed,
Something hard to define.
-Who thought of this
stupid trip, anyway?
-What's that supposed to mean?
Means why are we going?
-Fortunately,
When it came to questions
of cosmic dimensions,
The old man was a pro.
-Look, I took a day off,
I got you two a day off,
And now we're going fishing.
And that's all I want
to hear. Understood?
-Got it.
-And, given the circumstances,
It was probably as
good a reason as any.
♪ Got to get away ♪
-After all, this was ritual.
This was tradition.
This was...
-Ed's bait shop. Remember?
- Ed's bait shop.
The last outpost
before the wild.
Night crawlers,
inchworms, grubs.
What kid could forget it?
-Okay, fan out. We need hooks,
leader, waders, and lures.
-Wait a minute.
-Uh, dad? How 'bout some food?
- Food?
- Yeah.
- You know, to eat.
- What are you talking about?
We don't need food!
We're gonna catch fish!
Get beans.
- Yeah. And beer.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- And soda for kevin.
-Wait a minute.
-Dad... I'm 16 years old.
-So?
-So... I can handle a brew.
-Figured I'd get the priorities
straight from the get-go.
-Fine.
Get him root beer.
-Seemed clear
This tradition business was
gonna have its drawbacks.
-Hi. This it?
-And not just for me.
-Where's ed?
-Ed?
-You know, ed.
Runs the place. Nice old guy.
-Oh. He's dead.
Boating accident
couple of years ago.
-Hmm.
-Well... Send him
our regards, anyway.
-So... Doing a little fishing.
-Yeah.
-Fortunately, not in a boat.
-We're heading up
to berlinger falls...
A little secret spot I found.
-Oh. Can't go up there anymore.
Not by car, anyway.
They closed that
road last summer.
The only way in's by foot.
8 Miles.
-It was a major setback...
For tradition, for memories...
-Well...
We're going anyway.
- But not for my father.
After all, we were
campers, not hikers.
-I can't believe this.
-Dad, are you sure you
know what you're doing?
-What are you talking
about? It's just a few leaves.
-Even though it was more
like the whole forest.
-You know what?
Maybe we ought to scrap
this plan, head for home.
What do you think?
- Yeah, I think he's got a point.
-Seemed clear to us...
Some things were
meant to be, some weren't.
-Don't be ridiculous.
We've come this far.
We're not turning back.
-But, dad, we don't
even know where we are.
-Of course we do.
I never get lost.
-And so... Thanks to
dad's built-in compass
And a lot of good luck...
We finally arrived,
three hours later.
-Well, we're here.
-Oh, good.
-Yeah. Great.
-So? What do you think?
-But what could we say?
We'd been shanghaied
from our beds,
Hauled through the
woods, and dumped here.
And for what?
-It's perfect, isn't it?
Just like it always was.
-And the funny thing is,
At that moment, seeing
it through dad's eyes...
Suddenly that stupid little
spot didn't seem all that bad.
-It's okay.
-Not bad.
-And there was only
one more thing to say.
-Let's get moving.
Time to make camp.
-And so we set to work
Carving out our place
in the great outdoors,
Following a ritual we'd
known since we were kids.
It's funny, but setting
up that old tent
Was kind of like
going back in time.
And somehow, working like that,
We recaptured something
we'd almost forgotten.
Beans.
-This is the life, isn't it?
Don't worry.
Tomorrow we'll get up early
and catch us a mess of fish, right?
-Sure, dad.
-It was great.
Old times, good times...
Sitting around the fire...
Dad and me skinning
wayne at cards...
-Gin.
-What?!
It was kind of like
Finding out your pet
hamster could do calculus.
- Dad, pop me a beer, will you?
- Yeah, me too.
-What the hey? It
was worth a sh*t.
-Never mind.
-You know... I've been thinking.
One of these days,
I'm gonna chuck it all.
Find us a place to
retire... Like this.
We could build us
a cabin, logs, maybe.
Wouldn't have to be much.
-It was the same old dream
Dad had talked about
since I was 3 years old.
-We could come here in
april and stay till it snowed.
We could catch fish all summer,
Live off what we caught.
-It was like a litany.
We'd heard it a
hundred times before.
Still, that night,
for some reason...
-Yeah, what about your mortgage?
-What's that got to do with it?
-Well...
Don't you, like,
owe the bank a pile?
-Yeah. I mean, is that
really practical?
I mean, with what you
make and everything?
-Of course, looking
back, our two cents
Might not have been exactly
in the spirit of the moment.
Gin.
Another hand, huh?
-Uh, I don't think so.
Maybe we ought
to hit the hay, huh?
-Yeah, sure!
-Sure, dad.
-Good call.
After all, if things were a
little rough around the fire,
At least we always had
the comfort of the old tent.
-My sleeping bag.
-Hey, come on.
-Watch it!
- You watch it.
- You can wait.
-Wayne.
-Hey, that's my spot.
You're in my spot.
- Okay, okay!
- Get out!
-Wait! Wait a minute!
Let's think this out!
What happened?
-But it wasn't gonna take a
genius to figure this one out.
Stated simply, we were
38 square feet of family
In 32 square feet of tent...
Which added up to one thing.
-Who thought of this
stupid trip in the first place?
-Knew we should
have stayed in a motel.
-Wayne.
- You know,
I'm gonna sleep outside.
- No, I'll sleep outside.
-No. I'll sleep outside.
-And, of course, it
was the only solution.
And I guess at that
moment, it was clear...
The horrible unvarnished truth.
We were caught, trapped...
Three men in a tent...
With no way out.
And not only that...
-Dad.
-Yeah.
-There's a leak.
-The next morning,
the clouds had cleared.
By some miracle of
physical engineering,
We'd made it through
the night... Alive.
And as the sun
rose, hope once again
Sprang full-blown in
the arnold manly breast.
After all, this was
fishing. This was tradition.
This was...
Carnage.
-Does anyone have any bug spray?
-We ran out an hour ago.
-Seemed the only
thing biting around here
Were the mosquitoes.
So it was time to fall back
on the oldest technique
Known to fishermen
in times of trouble.
-Kevin, you got to
cast it out further
If you want to catch anything.
-Give the other guy advice.
-Don't worry about
me. I know what I'm doing.
-Even though I didn't.
-Dad!
Dad, I got a bite.
-Need any help?
-No. I got it.
-And I did. I had it.
The first catch of the day.
-Ease her in.
Ease her in.
-It was big, all right...
Big, mean, tough.
It was...
Totally humiliating.
-Personally, I'd
throw it back. It's flat.
-Nah, keep it. It'll
look good on the wall.
-Pretty funny.
-Hey, kev!
Hey, I hear the tires are
really biting around here.
-Shut up, butthead.
-Okay, then. If that's the
way they wanted to play it,
I could play rough, too.
After all, if I
couldn't catch a fish,
There was always a
chance I might snare myself
A 140-pound large-mouth ass.
-Hey, wayne, come over here.
I got to show you
something. It's really cool.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, you got to see it.
- Okay. In a second.
It was mean. It was rotten.
It was irresistible.
-What is it, kev?
You find something?
-Uh, no, dad. It's nothing.
It's for wayne.
Wayne!
-No, really. Let me take a look.
-Uh-oh.
-No! Dad!
-Dad?
Dad?
I'm really sorry, dad.
-Yeah.
-You know, it wasn't
supposed to happen like that.
-Uh-huh.
-I hope you're not mad.
-Of course, this was my father.
He, of all men, could
appreciate the humor in this.
-How could you pull a
stupid stunt like that?
Kevin, someone
could have been hurt!
-Okay, I knew what
was required here...
An honest apology...
Straight, simple, and heartfelt.
-I'm sorry, dad. I
tried to warn you.
And you were there, and...
Then you weren't.
-But maybe it was
the lack of sleep
Or maybe it was seeing him
Standing there in
wet boxer shorts.
-And, uh... I'm also sorry
About losing your hat.
But I bet it's caught
a lot of fish by now.
-It was awful.
The madder he got,
the funnier it seemed.
- And then...
- Hey, you guys!
I got a fish! I got a fish!
- From the brink
of annihilation...
- Get the net!
- I'll get the net.
- Came salvation.
-Hurry up. Get the
net. Get the net.
-Suddenly, we knew, to a
man, exactly why we had come.
- I got it.
- Let me get my pants on!
-It didn't matter that
wayne made the initial strike.
-Oh, man! It's a big one!
-We were all one unit
now, a well-oiled machine
Working in harmony to
bring glory to our quest.
-Easy, now!
-Whoo!
- Yes! Yes!
- Got it!
-Whoo!
Man, look at the
size of that sucker!
-It must be like a 12-pounder.
-That baby's a fighter!
-Man, he was strong! I thought
it was gonna rip off my arm!
-Finally, we had what
we'd been waiting for...
Something we could tell
our grandchildren about...
The day we caught a
30-pounder together.
-I don't believe
it. Beans again.
-Let's face it.
We were failures as campers...
As anglers...
As men.
-Well, I know.
Why don't we cook
up kevin's catch?
Nothing like the taste of
barbecued steel-belted radial.
Or how about filet of firestone?
-Not to mention
stand-up comedians.
-Very funny.
I hope you're all
enjoying yourselves.
-Because I wasn't. I was fed up.
-Whoa. Where are you going?
-I'm getting a beer.
- Kevin.
- Dad.
I'm tired, I'm hot,
and I'm sick of soda.
So I'm having a beer, okay?
-And there it was. A challenge
even dad couldn't ignore.
-You know...
Maybe the problem is we've
been using the wrong lures.
The stuff you buy in the
stores is no damn good.
Tell you something.
When I get my place up here,
things are gonna be different.
-I couldn't believe it.
I was trying my best
to assert my manhood,
And this guy was ignoring
me, like I was a little kid.
And I wasn't gonna
take it anymore.
-Get off it, dad, will you?
-What?
-All this stuff about
building a cabin.
You're never moving up
here. Not in a million years.
-I see.
-It was possibly the meanest
thing I'd ever said to the man.
But right then, I didn't care.
The way I saw it...
Turnabout was fair play.
I don't believe it!
That was great!
Hey, kev. This bud's on you!
-Get your hands off me.
-Oh, why don't you
make me, scrote?
- I'm warning you, wayne.
- Oh, I'm trembling.
-Wayne.
-That's enough! What's
the matter with you two?!
I bring you all the way up here
to fish, and all you do is fight!
Honest to god, why
can't we all just try and...
Get along, the way we used to?
-But the thing was...
I don't think we could tell him
any more than he could tell us.
-Hey...
There's foam on your head.
-That's it.
-Hey! Break it up! Knock it off!
-And that's when it happened.
-Break it up.
-Things got a little...
- Dad!
- Out of hand.
-Dad!
-It was 18 years of memories.
And there was
nothing we could do
But stand there and watch.
-Need any help?
-Nah.
-I wasn't sure
quite what to say.
I wanted to make
things right, but...
I knew I couldn't.
-Sorry about the tent.
-It's okay.
-But I knew he was lying.
I knew wayne and
I had let him down.
We'd gotten older.
And the sad thing was...
It was nobody's fault.
-Why did we come on
this stupid trip anyway?
-Well...
We planned it.
You got a day off, and
you got us a day off.
So we came.
Besides...
It's only saturday.
Let's stay up here
till tomorrow.
-Where are we gonna sleep?
-Maybe the hardest
part of growing up
Is having those you
always counted on
Look to you.
-I don't know.
We'll think of something.
Come on.
We'll see what happens, okay?
- Okay.
-After all, we'd come this far.
No sense turning back now.
-We fished the rest of that day.
- Whoa!
- That wasn't bad.
-We didn't catch much.
-♪ Bet your life, your sweet ♪
-Dad said he'd like to move
up here and open a bait shop.
I told him it was a great idea.
I think he believed me.
-♪ Tip that I would
like to relate ♪
-And, in the end, I guess
we finally figured out
Why we'd come here
in the first place.
-♪ My baby's
going fishin', too ♪
-We'd come to say goodbye.
-♪ To my favorite fishin' hole ♪
♪ Baby grabbed
me a pole and line ♪
♪ Throw my pole on in,
caught a 9-pound catfish ♪
♪ Now, you know I
brought him on home ♪