♪ Here's the story ♪
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of
a man named brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four men
living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way we all
became the brady bunch ♪
♪ The brady bunch ♪
♪ The brady bunch ♪
♪ That's the way we
became the brady bunch ♪
[Crowd cheering]
[Whistling]
Ok, joe,
We've only got time
for one more play,
And we need 6 big ones to win.
This is it, joe.
You mean the b*mb?
The b*mb.
Ok, on 2.
Ready?
98!
77!
203!
207!
74!
2!
[Grunting]
[Crowd cheering]
[Whooping]
That's it, bobby! All
right! Nice going, bobby!
[Bobby shouting] hey, bobby!
All right! Hey!
Boy, I don't know how I ever
got along without you, bobby.
Neither do i.
All right!
42, 62. Break out, yeah.
1001, 1002, 1003, Go!
[Grunts]
I'm thirsty. Let's get a drink.
Ok.
You know somethin'?
My dad's cousin was
on the same plane
With hank aaron all
the way from chicago.
Yeah? That's nothin'.
I know somebody who
knows lee trevino's caddie.
Well, that's nothing, either.
My dad rode on the same
elevator with wilt chamberlain,
And he stood right next to him.
Right next to him?
Sure, my dad's
shoulder was rubbing
Right up against wilt
chamberlain's knee.
Wow.
Hey, you don't know
anybody important, do you?
Well, sure I do.
Who?
Oh, well, I don't like to brag.
Let's play some more. (Tom) who?
Joe namath.
The new york jets' quarterback?
You know joe namath?
Sure. I know him a lot.
How much is a lot?
Well, he always has
dinner at our house,
Whenever he's in town.
Can we meet him sometime?
Yeah, could we, please?
Oh, sure. Next time
he's in town, why not?
Time to wash up for
dinner, right, cindy?
Dinner's not for
another 2 hours.
Oh, well, I like
to avoid the rush.
You know, 6 kids, 1 bathroom.
Hey, listen! You must be really
excited about next week, huh?
Why?
Well, joe namath and the jets are
playin' an exhibition game here in town.
Next week? Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
Wow! We'll get to meet joe
namath. I've gotta tell my dad.
See you, bobby. Yeah,
I'll see you, bobby.
Yeah. Bye.
(Tom) you know joe namath?
(Bobby) sure. I know him a lot.
(Burt) wow! We'll get
to meet joe namath!
Joe namath!
Joe namath!
This is a good
composition, pete.
How come you got a c-minus?
Read the last line.
"If george washington
never told a lie,
How come he got
so far in politics?"
[Laughing]
Hi.
Hi. [Laughing] hey.
Hey, listen, guys.
How would you like to have
joe namath over for dinner?
Hey, that'd be fantastic!
When's he coming?
Well, it depends.
On what?
On if either one
of you know him.
Have you flipped?
What makes you think
we know joe namath?
Well, you guys are older, and
you've had more time to meet people,
And I'm desperate.
Ok, bobby. Come on, give.
What happened?
Well,
All the guys were braggin'
about knowing superstars.
And you were stupid enough
to say you know joe namath?
I was even stupider.
I told 'em he always
has dinner at our house
When he's in town.
Which he'll be next week
for that exhibition game.
Yeah. What do you
think I ought to do?
Well, if you ever thought about
running away and joining a circus,
Now would be a good time.
Look, you've only
got 2 choices, bobby.
Either you tell the truth
or you produce joe namath.
So I think I'd tell the truth
before it gets any worse.
Right. Honesty
is the best policy,
Especially when
nothin' else works.
[Chuckling]
Yeah. I guess I better
go phone the guys.
That's awful.
No, that's awful!
That's really awful.
Listen, I got to go
now, barbara. Bye.
You wanna hear
about a big problem?
I've got my own problem.
This is your own problem.
About joe namath?
Yes. Barbara's brother
eric and his friends
Told all their friends about
him coming over to dinner here.
[Sighing] by this time tomorrow,
it'll be all over school.
I don't think it'll
take that long.
My entire life's ruined,
And I'm not even
in high school yet.
Well, how could you
say a thing like that?
Well, I just opened my mouth,
And it came out
before I could stop it.
We don't even know joe namath,
Do we, mike? No, we don't.
It looks like you bent
the truth a little bit there.
Bent it? I made
it into a pretzel.
Well, bobby, how do you
intend to straighten it out?
I was planning to phone
the guys and explain.
Well, now that's a step
in the right direction.
But it's too late. It's
all over town by now.
Well, bob,
I wish I knew the
man, but I don't.
Well, thanks anyway.
Honey, he has got to learn
That when you bluff,
somebody may call you on it.
Mike.
Honey,
We could try to
help him, couldn't we?
How?
Well, why don't we invite
joe namath to dinner?
Well, that's an excellent
suggestion with one minor flaw.
We don't know the man.
Oh, well, I bet if
you really tried,
You could think of
somebody who does know him.
Well, let's see.
Say, howard cosell knows him.
There, you see?
There's your answer.
I don't know howard cosell.
[Chuckling] well, I don't!
Hello?
Is this the stadium?
May I speak to joe
namath, please?
Can I leave a message
for him when he gets in?
Tell him to call
bobby brady at 555-6161.
Right. It's very
important. Thanks.
When you get to my head,
leave a little peek hole,
So I can find my way
back to the pyramid.
Anybody who needs that much
bandaging isn't worth saving.
The manual says
That in case of a double
compound fracture in both arms,
The victim must be
completely immobilized.
Will do me a favor the next time you
ask me to volunteer for something?
Immobilize my big mouth
before I can answer.
Well, I gotta go do my homework.
Come back soon. Visiting
hours are from 7:00 to 9:00.
Well, I've run out of bandages.
Promise you'll stay
put, ok? Cross my heart.
If I could reach it.
[Phone ringing]
(Eric) hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello, is anybody there?
Hello?
Hello?
Brady residence.
Uh, could I please
speak to bobby?
[Grunting]
Hold the phone.
Bobby!
Telephone!
Is it joe?
What're you doing
down there, alice?
Hit-and-run
florence nightingale.
Hello. This is bobby
brady speaking.
Hello. This is eric.
I just heard on the radio that
joe namath got into town today.
Has he called you yet?
No, but I gotta call in for him.
Be sure to let us know
when we get to meet him.
Oh, sure. But listen,
Joe might be tryin'
to call me right now.
I'd better get
off the phone. Bye.
See you later, alice. Bobby!
Help me up.
Well, I don't think I
can lift you, alice.
Well, then don't
lift me, unwrap me.
[Alice muttering]
Oh, cindy, can I
borrow your foot?
Sure. Which one?
It doesn't matter. I'm
getting real good at this.
Wow, what a guy! Who?
Mike connors. He's far out!
Listen to what he did.
There was a sick little
girl in the hospital
Who wrote to him saying how
much she wanted to meet him,
And he went 1,200
miles out of his way
Just to visit her for 5 minutes.
Just because she was sick?
Yeah.
Just because she was sick, huh?
Dear mr. Namath, my
name is bobby brady,
And I'm 12 years old.
I'm writing to you
Because I'm very, very sick.
The one thing I'd like
More than anything
in the whole world
Is to meet you in person.
Mom, don't forget my first
aid meeting today at 3:30.
Oh, I won't. I'll... I'll be
happy to drive you there,
But in no way am I
gonna be the victim.
Marcia volunteered to
do it. Oh, some volunteer.
She wrapped a bandage around
my mouth, so I couldn't say no.
Hurry up. You're
going to be late. Ok.
Bye-bye. See you later.
Have a good day. (Jan) ok.
Say,
At the risk of
sounding like a parent,
Would you mind telling me
why you're not on your way
To school, young man?
I feel kind of sick, dad.
Hmm.
You don't have a temperature.
Well, sometimes it
doesn't always show.
You know, I might have
a slight case of malaria.
Would you like to
hear my diagnosis?
The word is "chicken."
Like in "pox"? No,
just plain chicken.
I think you're afraid to
face the boys at school.
Some of those guys don't even
think I know joe namath, dad.
You don't.
Well, I might someday. Yeah.
Well, I think you better
get up off of there
And head to school,
ok? No, but I'll do it.
Hello, herb. Any messages?
Right on the desk, as usual.
The way this mail's comin' in,
Looks like you're gonna
need your own zip code.
Well, don't knock it, buddy.
If it ever stops comin',
I'll need a very
large crying towel.
By the way, joe,
there's a letter came in
I think you ought
to read right now.
What's it say, herb?
Go ahead, read it.
"Dear mr. Namath,
"My name is bobby brady,
and I'm 12 years old.
I'm writing to you
because I'm very, very sick."
Sick? Wait a minute.
Bobby brady?
I have a phone
message here from him.
Let me see that.
Wow. Poor kid.
This sounds serious.
Why don't you get
him on the phone
And see if we can stop
over after practice?
Right, joe.
Gee, I hope it's not too late.
Step right up, folks. Got
your favorite goodies.
Brownies, right out of the oven.
No, thanks, alice.
I'm not hungry.
He turned down brownies?
That's like bob hope
turning down laughs.
The kids at school
gave him a bad time.
Oh, poor kid.
He had to tell them he
didn't know joe namath, huh?
No, they gave him
such a bad time,
He just couldn't tell them.
[Phone ringing]
Hello?
Is this the home of bobby brady?
Yes. This is his sister, cindy.
I'm herb keller,
Publicity man for the
exhibition football game.
You mean the one
with joe namath?
You got the letter, huh?
Yes. How's your brother feeling?
Oh, awful.
He just turned down his
favorite dessert, brownies.
Oh, that's too bad.
His letter almost
broke joe's heart.
That's wonderful!
I mean, it's very sad.
Joe would like to drop by
today about 5:30 to see bobby.
Would that be all right?
Oh, that'd be super!
Good. See you then, cindy. Bye.
Bye.
Hey, hey, hey, w-what
was that all about?
Wrong number.
Bobby, he's coming
here! He's coming here!
Who is?
Joe namath, himself, in person.
That's a terrible joke, cindy.
I'm not joking.
I wrote him a letter, and
I signed your name to it,
So he's coming
here this afternoon.
Wow!
Hey, wait till I tell eric
and burt and tom! Wait!
Now for the bad news.
What bad news?
You gotta get sick.
What? Why?
Well, the letter I wrote him
Kind of gave him the idea
that you were very, very sick.
Well, what'd you write?
That you were very, very sick.
So you better get sick.
Hello.
[Exclaiming]
[Stammering] it's you!
It's him!
You're joe namath.
Right, right. This
is herb keller.
Hello.
[Gasping]
Can we come in?
[Stuttering] oh!
Yeah, please do.
How's bobby feeling?
J-j-just terrible. Oh.
But this is gonna be the greatest
medicine in the world for him.
You just... Just make yourself
comfortable, and I'll go get him.
Can he walk? I mean,
You don't have to, uh, carry
him, or anything, do you?
Carry him? No.
Can we go up to his room?
Oh, sure, if you'd rathered.
Bobby is going to
be tickled to death.
(Alice) he'll be so
excited, mr. Namath.
He's just up the stairs.
It's the first
door on the right.
Thank you. Thanks.
He's here, he's
here! Get in bed!
Well, hurry!
Downstairs?
[Moaning]
[Knocking]
Hello, bobby.
Hi, mr. Namath.
Uh, you can call me joe.
Thanks for coming, joe.
Oh, this is my sister, cindy.
Hello, cindy.
Hi, joe.
This is my friend, herb keller.
Hello. Hi.
So you sound a lot better
than you did in your letter.
I do?
Oh. Oh!
[Moaning]
One minute, he's fine,
and the next, he's awful.
[Moaning]
[Phone ringing]
Brady residence.
Alice, is bobby there?
Yes, but I think he's
pretty busy right now.
Just tell him I got
good news for him.
Me, too, mr. Brady.
I finally found somebody
Who knows somebody
who knows joe namath.
Me, too, mr. Brady.
Really? Who? Me.
How do you know joe namath?
He just walked
in our front door.
Look, I'll be right home.
Is there anything special
I can do for you, bobby?
Could you come over
for dinner one night, joe?
No, I'm afraid not.
I have to hop a plane
right after the game.
How about an
autographed photo, bobby?
I brought one along for you.
That'd be great!
Better lie down.
You look weaker.
[Moaning]
What would you like
for me to say on it, bobby?
To my great friend, bobby brady.
"To my great
friend, bobby brady."
At whose house I
always have dinner,
When I'm in town.
You do?
Whatever he says, herb.
I'm sorry I won't get a chance
To meet some of his friends.
"To meet some of his friends."
Like eddie clark, tommy hamner,
Todd cronin, burt stevens.
Give him a chance to catch up.
There. I'm caught
up. Go ahead, bobby.
And especially eric parker,
Who refused to believe
That I'm really good
friends with bobby brady.
That's all?
That's all.
Now you can write
whatever you want.
Well, alice, she passed
her first aid test
With flying bandages.
I got 10 points on
my very first try.
Now she's moving up
to stretcher-bearer.
Well, it's a day for great news
And have I got some for you.
What?
Hi.
Well, we barely made it
Before the stretcher got here.
Mrs. Brady, this is joe
namath and, uh, mr. Keller.
How do you do?
Oh, what a pleasure.
How do you do? And this
is marcia and jan brady.
(Both) hi. Hello, ladies.
It was so nice of you
to come over here
Just to see bobby.
Well, it's the least we
could do, mrs. Brady.
Well, you know, you got
here in the nick of time.
Bobby was just about
at the end of his rope.
Oh, hi, everybody.
(Carol) oh, hi, honey.
Oh, mike. This is
my husband, mike.
This is mr. Namath. Hi.
And mr. Keller. It's
very nice to meet you.
How do you do? Mr. Keller.
Say, you really have quite
a son there, mr. Brady. Huh.
This whole thing must
be pretty upsetting.
Well, when you have 6 kids,
Somethin' like this is bound
to happen to one of 'em.
Excuse me.
You... You don't seem to be
taking this very seriously.
Oh, well, there's no reason to
get upset over a problem like this.
How'd you find out about it?
Well, I got this
letter from bobby.
Hey, that's cindy's handwriting.
It says, "dear mr. Namath,
"My name is bobby brady,
and I'm 12 years old,
"And I'm writing to you
because I'm very, very...
Very, very sick"?
[Both sighing]
Mr. Namath, I'm afraid
we owe you an apology. I...
I think the kids are trying to
put somethin' over on you here.
You mean bobby's not sick?
Well, he might be when we
get through talking to him.
Yes.
He and cindy must have cooked
this up between them, mr. Namath.
You see, bobby told all
his friends that he knew you.
He even told them that
you ate dinner over here.
Mr. Namath?
Cindy and I have
been talking it over,
And we think you
should know something.
See, I'm not really sick.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
I wrote the letter.
He just moaned and groaned.
I guess it wasn't a
very nice thing to do.
You can have your picture back.
Well, you looked pretty healthy
When I talked to
you upstairs, bobby.
In fact, I'm glad
you're not sick.
And, uh,
It's pretty flattering to
have someone want to see me
As badly as you wanted to.
Well, flattering, maybe,
But I think you 2 are
gonna be penalized
For illegal procedure.
Yeah, but, can I still
keep the picture?
You bet you can.
And as long as I'm here, why don't
we go throw a few passes together?
Wow! That'd be great!
Ok, bobby, here comes the b*mb.
Hike!
[All cheering]
Good catch, bobby, good catch.
Well, listen, I gotta get going.
Boy, joe, this is somethin'
I'll never forget.
Well, neither will
i. I really enjoyed it.
And it was nice meeting
all of you. Nice meeting you.
Really, it was a
pleasure. Thank you.
Mr. Brady, you've got
quite a family here.
Thanks, joe. Bye-bye, joe.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Bye!
Listen, guys, I gotta
tell you somethin'.
See, I never met joe
namath until today.
(All) aw! Are you kidding?
Come on, bobby. Knock it off.
Honest.
You don't expect us
to believe that, do you?
I've gotta tell my
dad. Hey, yeah, me, too.
[Boys chattering]
It was nice of joe namath to send us
all those tickets for the game tonight.
Yes, and it certainly
was nice of you
To give our tickets
to bobby's friends.
But why? Well, I had
ulterior motives.
Oh? Sure.
You have to fight a thousand
cars for a parking space,
You have to stand
in line for hot dogs,
You have to push your
way through all that crowd.
So? So,
This way, with all the
kids out of the house,
You and I can be alone.
You get the picture?
Oh.
Well, who am I to
fight a great idea?
Hmm. Yeah, this is much better.
That's right. And this way, when
the game comes on television
We won't have any interruptions.
Michael brady, you are...