02x01 - Charlie Is 2!

[bunniefuu]

Well, this is awful.

I can't believe we're spending Charlie's birthday in jail.

Well, as long as we're all in here together, let's go over some ground rules.

This is just a chair.

- Well, what if I - Uh-uh.

- What if - Hold it.

Guys, it could be worse.

Mom and dad could know we're here.

- Kids? - Uh-oh.

Hi, mom.

Hi, dad.

- Hi.

- Hey.

Nice family you got here.

I'm guessing the dog is in the pound? We don't have a dog, officer "snootee.

" It's pronounced "snoo-tay.

" - Get in there, you two.

- Here.

What are you guys doing here? What are you guys doing here? Okay, before we get to that, let's go over the ground rules again.

Dad, I want you to pay extra close attention.

Day's all burnt toast ♪ Running late, and dad jokes ♪ Has anybody seen my left shoe? ♪ I close my eyes, take a bite ♪ Grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪ ♪There it is up on the roof ♪ I've been there, I've survived ♪ So just take my advice ♪ Hang in there, baby ♪ Things are crazy ♪ But I know your future's bright ♪ Hang in there, baby ♪ There's no maybe ♪ Everything turns out all right ♪ Your life is up and down ♪ But trust me it comes back around ♪ You're gonna love who you turn out to be ♪ Hang in there, baby.

♪ So my kids are in jail.

- Anybody wanna tell me why? - Nope, we're good.

Well, what about you? Why are you guys in jail? Hey, we asked you first.

Start talking.

All right well, as the oldest I guess I owe you guys an explanation.

It's all Teddy's fault.

- What? It is not! - Oh really? We wouldn't be here if you hadn't promised Charlie a birthday present you couldn't deliver.

Well, Charlie, here you are, watching your favorite tv show, "the gurgles.

" That's the sound we make ♪ if we march in circles ♪ and watch you play along ♪ just sit down, annoy your mom ♪ and sing the gurgle song, gurgles! ♪ it's kind of annoying, but I guess it's entertaining to your little brain.

Oh, "the gurgles!" What did I miss? - I love gurgles.

- Shh! So if we're having a contest for who gives Charlie the best birthday present ever, I'll accept my prize now.

Okay well, I gave her the gift of life, so let's see what you got.

I'm getting her tickets to the gurgles concert.

- Oh! - Yeah.

I want her to have a great second birthday, unlike mine when I didn't get the gift I wanted.

Here we go, still whining about a heo doggy.

Howdy puppy, the rootinest tootinest little chihuahua in the West.

I wanted him more than anything in the world and I Oh, too soon.

Hey, how are you coming with the entertainment? Entertainment.

Entertainment? For Charlie's birthday party.

- What did you decide on? - Ah.

Still thinking.

Noodling.

A lot of things going on in the old hopper.

The hopper's empty, isn't it, Bob? I I don't even know where it is anymore.

Honey, Charlie's party is in three days.

Oh, honey, come on, relax.

I'll think of something.

Okay, we'll do a clown, a bouncy house whatever.

Bob, honey, you have to reserve those things.

We have to decide on something good or it's gonna be hello doggy all over again.

Howdy puppy! - Hey, can I check my email? - No no no no no.

I'm about to buy gurgles concert tickets online.

They go on sale in eight seconds and I'm gonna be the first one to get them.

Okay, here we go.

Three, two, one.

What? Sold out?! Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.

Hang on.

Let me get in there.

Let's see.

- What are you doing? - Checking my email.

What? Give me that.

How am I gonna get the tickets now? Well, the other day I was listening to that radio station for kids, k.I.D.Z.

Hey, kidz.

I just got that.

Why are you listening to the kidz radio station? Because they told me not to change the channel.

Anyway, they're having a contest.

Whoever makes the best video wins tickets to the gurgles concert.

We could make a great video.

All we need is one good idea.

Oh okay, how about this? So we make a video of me putting on And then I turn around and on my butt it says.

"I heart the gurgles.

" Yeah, that's not it.

I've I've got an idea.

I've written some really great kid songs.

We could turn one of those into a video.

One good idea.

Just one good idea.

I have got a song about talking toes that will knock your socks off.

You get it? 'Cause it okay.

Okay, we're still going through all the bad ideas.

But we need a good one, and Charlie should be the star of it.

Well, I've always wanted to sh**t her out of a cannon.

All right, still emptying out all those bad ideas, okay.

No cannons? No underpants? You're really tying my hands here.

Hey hey, honey! Honey! Hey, come on.

Come in here.

Come on.

- I've got something I wanna show you.

- What is it? I wanna show you the entertainment I got for Charlie's party.

Voila.

A little cart.

This is why I'm missing "judge ira"? Oh my, I seemed to have put the cart before the Horse! Are you sure it's a horse? I've seen bigger dogs.

Actually, I've seen bigger cats.

Honey, it's a miniature horse.

Well, he is kind of cute.

- Where did you find him? - At the stables.

You know, I was gonna get a pony, and then I met this guy in the parking lot who said, "have I got a deal for you.

" And well, after I said "no thank you" to the speakers, he brought out shamrock here.

Aw, he's adorable.

Why is his tail going up? Oh.

That was great.

Hey, mom, we finished the video.

- You wanna see it? - Oh, can't wait.

Yeah, we are so gonna win those tickets.

Gurgles! Good evening.

I'm here with the world's biggest gurgles fan, miss Charlotte Duncan.

Oh no, please call me Charlie.

We're all friends here.

So, Charlie, tell me how you first became acquainted with the gurgles.

Well, I was 17 no, 18 months and I was doing a little bit of channel surfing.

Boring, blah.

Been there, seen that.

Then ba-bam! The most wonderful collection of shapes and colors.

- I had ever seen.

- The gurgles.

The gurgles indeed.

And seeing them in concert would make me feel Well, why don't I just show you? - Lights, please.

- ( Rock music playing ) - Wow, look at this.

- Cool.

Wow! Forgive me.

I got a bit carried away.

Now if we're done here, I was promised a juice box.

You guys, that was amazing! Oh, mom, you made a brilliant Charlie.

Oh, didn't I? Good show, good show.

Again.

- Yes? - Yeah.

Hey, honey, you seen the garage door opener? - ( Garage door opening ) - ( Hip-hop music playing ) Never mind.

What are you doing? There's a mini-horse in our garage.

Did you really think I wouldn't take advantage of that? Where did you go? Just down the street to Austin's house.

He's been bragging about his new dog.

This shut him right up.

All right, come on.

Get out of there, would you? - ( Shamrock neighs ) - Okay.

Oh, here.

There you go.

- What is this? - Tickets.

Did you know you can't text while riding a mini-horse? - Uh, Gabe.

- Yep? - You forgetting something? - Oh right.

Hey, it's 3:00.

The winning video should be up by now.

I'm on it.

Hey, P.J.

I didn't know you were working today.

I'm not.

This is my only clean shirt.

Then why are you wearing the hat? I don't wanna look stupid.

Oh, it's up.

They've posted the winning video.

Oh, I can't look.

Okay, tell me we won.

Tell me we won.

Why aren't you telling me we won? - Because we lost.

- What? I don't believe it.

What video could possibly be better than ours? How much do I love the gurgles? Now at this point a jerk might say "I told you so.

" I told you so! So now what are we gonna do? Go downtown to the piedmont hotel where the gurgles are staying and beg them for tickets? How do you know where they're staying? It was on the "all things gurgles" website.

Am I the only one who reads that? Yes yes, because you're their only fan that can actually read.

So you're just gonna knock on their door and they're gonna let you in? They will if we're delivering a delicious bucket of chicken.

- Or that stuff you deliver.

- Great! Let's go.

Wait a minute.

How are you gonna know - what room they're in? - 423.

I'm an "all things gurgles" premium subscriber.

You make a simple rule.

You expect people to follow it.

Gabe, she's two.

She can't hold it.

- ( Toilet flushes ) - Can we turn around now? Actually, give me a second.

Unbelievable.

All right, would you please just finish the story? You still haven't told us how you got arrested.

All right, so we went down to the hotel.

Yeah, this is stan in 423.

I can't find my remote control.

No, I'm not sitting on it again.

Never mind.

- ( Knocking at door ) - It's open.

I can't believe it.

It's you! You're the circle! You want me to sign something Five bucks.

You want it in sparkly pen, it's 10 bucks.

No no, we're not here for autographs.

We want to ask about concert tickets.

- And we brought chicken.

- Huh? Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute.

The other gurgles put you up to this? Are they testing me to see if I'll stay on my diet? Testing you? Don't all the shapes love each other and help each other out? - Yeah yeah, that's it.

- Here you go.

- So do you have any tickets? - No.

You have any sides? No ticky, no chicky.

P.J., come on, let's go find a more helpful shape.

I'll catch up with you.

Listen, circ.

- Heh, can I call you circ? - No.

Uh, well, the thing is I am a musician and I wrote a song that is perfect for the gurgles.

- You wanna hear it? - No no no, thanks.

Triangle writes all our songs 'cause he's a genius.

This will only take a minute, only take a minute.

This is a song This is a song I wrote after I skinned my knee.

What do you get when you pick a scab? ♪ pick a scab, pick a scab? ♪ what do you get when you pick a scab? ♪ a scar that lasts forever.

♪ you wanna hear another one? No.

Look, kid, I just want to be left alone and watch tv, okay? Aw, nuts.

Okay, I'll be back in a little while.

- Where are you going? - Taking the horse for a drive.

I like to see people's faces when he sticks his tiny head out the window.

Oh! Bob, get out here! The horse is gone.

We've been rustled? Dag nabbit! Are you sure you wanna do this? I don't like the idea of sneaking into a concert, but there's no way I'm gonna let Charlie down.

And besides, what's the worst that could happen? It's not like they're gonna throw us in jail.

Okay, stop laughing.

It's time to get sad.

Think of something really sad.

Okay.

Oh, that's good.

- Thinking of hey there, poochy? - Howdy puppy.

- Next.

- Hi.

- Ticket, please.

- Um, quick story.

- It's actually pretty sad.

- Let me guess.

You're trying to get tickets for your baby sister who's the biggest gurgles fan in the whole world and they were sold out, and now you want me to just let you guys in? It's even sadder when you say it.

And here's the saddest thing of all.

Next! Time to kick it up a notch.

- Ready? - Ready.

Oh oh oh! Help help! That boy just collapsed! It's okay.

I'm a doctor.

- I know mouth to mouth.

- All better.

Hi, I'm Bob Bob's bugs be gone.

I'm here about the fire ant problem backstage.

Exterminators, huh? Why do you have a baby with you? She's an intern.

- You really think I'm that stupid? - No.

- Hey, look over there.

- What? Hey! Can I help you? - Animal control.

- Good.

What happened to your face? Chipmunks are only cute in cartoons, ma'am.

Is this your horse? - Yes.

You found him! - Hey! Oh my gosh, we've been worried sick.

- Where is he? - Not so fast.

I'm afraid this animal is stolen proper.

What? We didn't steal it.

My husband rented it for our daughter's birthday party.

Just show me the rental agreement, we can clear this right up.

I haven't got a rental agreement.

I got a sweaty handshake and he took off in his dark van.

Seemed okay to me.

Then I'm afraid we have a problem.

No no no, hon.

Here's your rental agreement.

Honey, I told you I didn't get one.

Oh no, it's right here.

Yeah yeah.

As a matter of fact, he has two rental agreements.

Are you trying to bribe me, ma'am? We also have cake.

So that's how we got here, which only leaves P.

J.

How did you get here? Oh, cute story, actually.

So it was after the concert.

I can't believe I went to Yale.

Now I'm a gurgle.

I've got talkin' toes ♪ the big one likes to say hello ♪ the other four are not so bold ♪ they curl up when it gets too cold.

♪ that's great, kid.

Oh, you like that one? I've got plenty of others One about talking eyes, one about talking knees Yeah, do you happen to have a song about security guards? That's not a good idea for a song.

Oh.

See you later, I'm off to jail ♪ could you do me a favor and post my bail? ♪ here's a gurgle who went to Yale ♪ so I was busted for harassing a gurgle and stripped of my membership from the fan club.

Okay, Duncans, you're free to go.

You've been bailed out.

- Bailed out? - By who? Gurgle circle.

Yeah yeah, biggest moment of your life.

But why did you bail us out? Well, I played "pick a scab" for the other gurgles and they loved it.

- I sold a song? - No, i sold a song.

You got bailed out.

Welcome to showbiz, kid.

You know, I'm gonna miss this place.

Oh, don't worry, you'll be back.

Well, Charlie, your second birthday turned out to be pretty memorable More memorable than my second birthday, that's for sure.

Still too soon.

Anyways, you never did get to see the gurgles in concert, but that's okay because you have a new favorite show.

Ooh, "the buttercups!" But if you ever wanna see the buttercups in concert, good luck, Charlie.

Shh! This is a new one.

Hey, dad, do you mind if I take Charlie out for a spin? Ooh, sorry, Gabe.

We don't have the horse anymore.

But we do have the cart.

Faster! Okay, say "Cheese.

" Giddy up.

Wow.

You guys were gone a long time.

Really? Seems like 30 seconds.

Oh! Did you see anything interesting? No, just a bunch of credits.