02x01 - Strange Energies

[bunniefuu]

♪

Apologies for the delay.

You aren't the only Federation
spy I'm interrogating today.

Ensign Beckett Mariner!

Ah, no biggie. I don't have
anything else going on.

We'll see if you're so cavalier

after a taste of my... excruciator!

[SCREAMS, MOANING]

Ready to talk?

[EXHALES] Yes.

It's only been a couple of
months working with my mom,

instead of behind her back...
the line between mom stuff

and captain stuff has gotten real fuzzy.

Your captain is your mother?

Yeah, lady, everybody
knows that, keep up!

I thought you were good at this.

- [GRUNTS]
- Ow! [SHOUTS]

[GRUNTS]

I used to sneak away and
do all sorts of little,

off-the-book side missions
without cluing her in.

Now that's impossible!

- [GRUNTS]
- She's so happy.

It's very sweet, but
I am losing my mind.

I don't know how much
longer I can do this.

[GRUNTS]

Guards!

[GRUNTING]

Oh, my God, Mariner, you
got to get me out of here!

They keep showing me lights.

- No, I am still mad at you.
- What, for going to the Titan?

But you knew I wanted
to get a promotion.

You're supposed to be my mentor.

You snuck off in the middle of my shift

without saying goodbye.

You know who my best friend is now?

My mom... it sucks, it's like work.

Look, I'm a hologram, okay?

I'm sure real Boimler had his reasons.

I don't know, maybe, did
you ever... intimidate him?

- What? No, shut up!
- No, no, no! Mariner?

Aah!

You're abandoning your fellow officer?

Yeah, well, he did it first.

Stop her!

Look, I never asked
for special treatment.

That is not my style. I mean,
I won't turn it down, though.

Oh, wait, does that
make me a bad person?

You are an extremely bad person.

MARINER: Wow, you are nasty!

Words can hurt just as much as
t*rture equipment, all right?

Good!

[GRUNTS]

I guess I'll just have to
get used to it, you know?

Life is all about change.

I just always thought she'd
kick me out of Starfleet.

- You'll never escape!
- Right?

Oh, wait, you're talking
about the detention center?

Come on, I'm, like, practically
escaped already, read the room.

[SCREAMING]

Oh!

They're locking weapons!

- Oh, stop being such a...
- [NEARBY TRILLING]

Computer, pause program.

What do you want, Jennifer?

[GROANS] What are you doing?

Cardio, plus a little strength training.

So you work out by staging
Cardassian prison breaks?

- Yeah, what do you do?
- Uh, yoga.

- Wow, how unique!
- Whatever.

Captain wants you in her ready room.

Look, I know we're not supposed
to have interpersonal conflict,

but I really hate that Andorian.

All right, here we go.
Computer, resume program.

What are you... Why are you squatting?

We're going to die. Stop that!

I can't... it's leg day.

[BOTH SHOUTING]

♪

♪

FREEMAN: Captain's log:

The Cerritos is finishing second
contact duties on Apergos.

On a personal note,

my daughter has yet another
side mission request.

When I agreed to give her more autonomy,

I never realized how often I
would be catering to her whims.

It's getting a bit old.

Mom, you don't have to keep a trinket

from every side mission we do together.

What even is this?

That's a gratitude mask

from when you gave root
juice to the Vornilians.

Right. Right, right, right, right.

Speaking of which...

I want to do one last thing
before we leave system.

- Of course you do.
- The capital city is filthy.

They never cleaned up after
their industrial revolution.

Can I power-wash a couple buildings?

I mean, if the locals see
how good it can be,

maybe they'll start
cleaning up on their own.

Officially, no.

Starfleet does not
prioritize aesthetics.

But as your cool mom,

- I say go for it.
- [RANSOM CLEARS THROAT]

The away team is awaiting
your orders, Captain.

Sorry, Commander,
I forgot you were there.

That does tend to happen
a lot these days.

The Apergosian high leader
just needs to select

a subspace communication number

and we'll be good to go.

Sure, you're authorized to proceed.

Oh, and, Jack?

Make sure Mariner gets
whatever she needs.

Yes, sir.

[SINGSONGY]: Thanks, Jack!

Hey, have you guys seen my PADD?

I just zinged Ransom so hard.

I got to do a personal
log before I forget.

Did you check Boimler's bunk?

[CHUCKLES]

He'd lose his mind if he knew
we were using this for storage.

He probably has a huge room
to himself on the Titan.

Yeah, he's probably so excited
about serving with Riker

he isn't thinking about us at all.

- [PADD BEEPS]
- Okey dokey!

Ensign Barnes just confirmed
our date for tonight.

Whoa, she's crazy hot! Are you nervous?

Wait, that sounds familiar.

No, not nervous at all.
This is gonna be great.

Oh, actually, you went on a
date with Barnes last year

and it wasn't a good match.

She didn't care that a red alert

failed to override maintenance
hatch 's access protocol...

- can you imagine?
- That's okay... this is our third date.

It's been pretty great.
Ensign Barnes is super cool.

Oh! Oh, okay.

Eh, went the wrong way again. [CHUCKLES]

Does Rutherford seem off to you?

Yeah, always. Why?

Last year, he didn't like pears.

And now he eats them all the time.

I mean, his implant
and part of his brain

got ripped out of his
head and put back in,

so "liking pears" doesn't
seem like that big of a deal.

What about Barnes? Three dates?

- He's not supposed to like her.
- Tendi?

If Rutherford dating someone bugs you,

maybe you should talk to him.

Ha! No, I don't care about that.

I'm worried about SMD:
Synthetic Memory Degradation.

It's a rare condition that affects
cyborgs with new implants.

First your opinions change,

then your brain liquifies
and melts out of your nose!

Luckily, this is exactly
what I've been training for.

I will save my friend!

Cool.

So, you really think Boimler
has a big room on the Titan?

Yeah, it's probably huge.

♪

Hmm, no. No. Ugh. No.

You know, your communication number

doesn't really matter, Your Excellency.

People just say, "Computer, contact
the Apergosian High Leader,"

and it does it automatically.

Well, Apergosians have
a deep relationship

with numbers, Commander.

It needs to have gravitas...

digits our grandchildren
can be proud of.

Yes, yes, right.

Hey! Look at this one!
This one's got gravitas.

Mm, too close to my
ex-girlfriend's number.

[SIGHS] I need more options.

[SIGHS] Fine. Mariner, could
you grab me some more PADDs?

Ooh, no can do. Sorry.

Sort of busy with, you know,
whatever I feel like doing.

I'm in command of this mission, Ensign.

Get me my PADDs!

But I am authorized by the captain

to do my own mission.

Have Stevens grab 'em.
He's your little buddy.

- He is not!
- Here's those PADDs, sir.

Stacked 'em just the way you like.

Get away from me, Stevens.

[SNIFFLES]

[WHOOSHING]

Whoa. I never knew the ancient
ones decorated these buildings.

You seeing this?

- Hmm.
- [GASPS, MURMURING]

Clean your public spaces, people.

It's not that hard.

Who knows what you'll
find under all this soot?

[DING, RAPID WHIRRING]

[CRACKLING]

Oh!

Uh, we got sci-fi stuff
happening over here!

- [HISSING, CRACKLING]
- [CROWD CLAMORING]

Mariner, get out of there!

- [SPARKING]
- [YELLING, GASPING]

Sir, I'm reading a buildup
of strange energies.

Mariner! Mariner!

- Ah!
- Ah!

MARINER [MUFFLED]: Commander?

Commander, can you hear me?

STEVENS: Oh, God, is he alive?

- [GRUNTS]
- Please tell me he's alive!

Calm down, Stevens. He's gonna be fine.

STEVENS: Don't lie to me!

[GROANING]

- [METALLIC TRILLING]
- [GROANS]

I told you not to deviate
from the mission.

Hmm. Looks like you took a
full load of strange energy

straight to the cortex.

FREEMAN [OVER COMM]:
What is "strange energy," Doctor?

T'ANA: Electrical phenomena
with unknown properties.

It can have all sorts
of physical effects...

unlock parts of the brain,
even endow god-like powers.

Humanity has a complicated relationship

with organized religion.

Well, strange energies doesn't.

Ever hear of Gary Mitchell?

Uh, it got real weird real fast.

[STEVENS GASPS]

Those energies weren't
that strange. I'm fine.

[ECHOING VOICE]: Now unhand me.

I must rise!

And he's hovering.

I think he might be
going god-like on us?

Let's not jump to conclusions
until I run some tests.

You mortals tire me!

[GROANS]

Excelsior. I am healed.

My power swells.

My brain is unlocking
its full potential.

MARINER: Well, lucky for us, there
isn't much to unlock in there.

I can hear your thoughts!

Uh, I mean, hey, I was
just joking around,

privately, in-in my head.

I have to figure out the
right harmonic frequency

that will disrupt his power cycle.

- [GRUNTING]
- [WHOOSHING]

- [COUGHING]
- [GROANING]

What is he doing now?

[GROANING] It's easy to become a god.

The trick is staying a god.

He seems to be focusing
on his bi's and tri's.

Captain, we have an
incoming communication

from Admiral Freeman.

I'll take it in my ready room.

Hey, sweetheart. Just
checking in on the mission.

Oh, sorry. Did I catch you
in the middle of something?

Nah. Just having lunch...
some hot chili. [LAUGHS]

No, the mission is great.

Second contact is almost complete.

You know, Carol Bear, you
impressed some important people

with your showdown with the Pakleds.

This could be your year to get
promoted to a capital ship...

as long as you keep a
clean record, of course.

[CHUCKLING]: Oh, the Cerritos?

Oh, it's the very image of
Starfleet responsibility.

Mariner, get Ransom under control

and get that number picked now!

Yelling at me isn't going to help!

Oh, yeah. Feel the burn!

So, wait. My brain's gonna
melt out of my nose

because I like pears?

No, no, no, no, no.

There's a problem in the
way that your hippocampus

and your implant are communicating.

Okay, so what's with all the disks?

They provide a low-level shock.

A shock? There's,
like, a hundred of 'em!

Reacting to pain can often kick
neurons right back into place.

Wait. How much pain? Aah!

That kind of hurt! Can
you warn me next time?

Uh, sorry, I can't.

The shocks have to come
at unexpected times.

- I can't tell you when I'm...
- [YELLS]

That one was worse!

I have to randomize the voltage,

or your brain will tune it out.

[GROANING]

Do you still like pears?

Yes! [YELLS]

[SIGHS, GROANS]

[GROANS] Huh?

- How about now?
- Uh, pears? No, I hate pears.

I'll never eat a pear again.

Then you should pass this test.

Three sets of twins are lost at sea.

Each set shares a parent with the other,

but no two sets are the same.

What is the name of the boat?

Uh, um... The Salty Dog?

- Yes!
- Really?

- No.
- [YELLING]

No, what are you doing?
No, don't do that!

- I'm late for my date.
- But your brain!

Was feeling great until
you started shocking me.

This isn't like you!

Looks like I'm going to have to
resort to more extreme methods.

[PEOPLE WHIMPERING]

[BUZZING, CRACKLING]

That displeases Ransom.

He made the moon disappear.

- Hey, buddy, look at... look at this.
- [ALL GASP]

This... this might be the best
subspace number I've even seen.

[GRUNTS]

He just ruined our museum
of popular music!

Hey, that sounds like
something you don't need.

Mom, I don't think this
is going to happen.

[GROANS] Well, it has to!

I never should have authorized you

- to break mission parameters.
- Well, how was I supposed to know

this was all gonna go
all Ransom on the mount?

I will create a race of Ransomites!

[GASPING]

Hey, don't transform my constituents!

Ooh, ooh, do me, sir!

[BLEEP] it. I'm gonna blast him.

FREEMAN: No! sh**ting from the hip

is what landed us here
in the first place.

Just calm him down.

Mom, I feel that you
are not listening to me.

I am going to calm him
down... by blasting him.

When you say that,

what I hear is that you don't
like being disagreed with.

[GASPS]

Ah!

Ah, damn it!

FREEMAN: We have to be a team on this.

Yeah, no. Of course,
yeah, love to be a team.

Stop pretending to like each other.

It's making me furious!

I am superior to all of you!

Oh, it's true. All hail Ransom.

I bow. I bow before thee, sir.

Emergency transport to sickbay
for Commander Ransom now.

- [LOUD WHOOSHING]
- [GASPING]

Dude, not cool!

FREEMAN: Doc, how did they
deal with Gary Mitchell?

Kirk smooshed him with a boulder.

Gary Mitchell was an
ant, and I am a lion!

[GROANING]

- [ROARING]
- [BUZZING]

RUTHERFORD: You know what?

Maybe we shouldn't be
seeing each other tonight.

My memory's all messed up
because of my new implant.

Sorry if I say anything weird.

Don't worry. I'm used to it.

My older sister got a symbiont,

and it totally changed her personality.

Oh, is it because she has all
the memories and experiences

- of her past lives in her head?
- Meh.

It's more that she always has
to bring up having a symbiont.

It's like, we get it.

[BOTH LAUGH]

When are you back on duty?

Me and a couple girls from cetacean
ops are going swimming.

- Want to join?
- Sure. This thing is waterproof.

- I can swim all night.
- Great.

Uh, I think your friend
is gonna sh**t you.

What now? [GASPS]

- Tendi, what are you doing?!
- Sorry to interrupt,

but I really don't
want you to die again!

- Hi. I'm Tendi. We're friends.
- Nice to meet you.

Tendi, come on!
You don't have to do this!

I'm in medical, he has SMD,
I'm just saving his life.

What's an SMD?

It's just a cyborg thing.
I'm fine. Aah! Uh.

Well, when you're cured,

just meet us outside cetacean ops.

I'm going to go change into my swimsuit.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!
I can come with you!

Oh, no, you can't!

- [GASPS] What's in those hyposprays?
- Medical venom!

Ugh. Stop!

You can't just keep attacking me

and trying to surprise
me into getting better.

- If I do have this LSD thing...
- SMD.

Whatever. You can't cure it
like getting rid of hiccups.

- [SIGHS] You're right.
- Thank you.

I'll have to get your
brain out of your skull

and freeze it so I can nano
suture your dendrites by hand.

Tendi, please! I just want
to go swimming with girls!

- Then give me your brain!
- No!

My will be done!

Behold the first coming of Ransom!

Captain, there's a giant
head approaching the ship.

Red alert. Evasive action.

[GRUNTS]

[ALL GRUNT]

[RANSOM ROARING]

Is this gym equipment?

T'ANA: He's creating
his own Jack utopia.

[GROANING]

Wait. If we can't nullify his powers,

we should boost them.

Why the hell would we do that?

There's a chance it could
short out his godliness.

Yeah, or make him extra vengeful.

Aah!

Oh, what, you have a better idea?

[GROANS] Mom, hit that head
with everything you've got.

Doc says it'll overload him.

Oh, yes, feed me your phasers.

I can feel myself becoming
more powerful than ever before!

More power just gave him more power!

[SIGHS] I have to reason with him.

Open a channel.

Why are you doing this, Jack?

Stand down.

I used to be your number one,
but then Mariner took it all

just because she's your daughter.

Then from now on,
you can work with us, too.

I don't want to work with her!

[SHOUTS]

[ALL GRUNT]

[PANTING]

Stay away from me. I want
my brain right where it is.

I'm just borrowing it.
I-I'll give it right back.

Computer, activate force field,

- Corridor .
- [GRUNTS]

I'm trying to save you.

I don't need to be saved.

But we're best friends!

We have to trust each other.

Well, then, maybe we
shouldn't be friends.

[SIGHS]

[SHOUTING]

You don't have Synthetic
Memory Degradation.

What?!

- [ALL GRUNT]
- MARINER: Mom,

hit him with photon torpedoes.

Don't you give me orders.

- I thought we were partners.
- RANSOM: Lies.

You hate working together!

That's not true. Right, Mom?

I, uh... [STAMMERS]

[SIGHS] He's right.

What? Well, I do... actually
feel the exact same way.

I hate being your sidekick.

And I hate the way you
question me all the time.

You're both fakers! And now
you'll pay the ultimate price!

[SHOUTING]

[FREEMAN SCREAMS]

[GROANS]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[ALL GRUNT]

[ALARM BLARING]

You don't have SMD,

but there's definitely
something wrong with you.

If you knew I wasn't in danger,
then why were you hunting me?

Well, you changed your
opinion on so many things,

I was worried that if
I didn't do something,

you might decide you didn't
like me anymore, too.

I'm a monster.
I shouldn't be your doctor.

So, you were utilizing highly
invasive neuro-medical procedures

in order to make sure I liked you?

Yes. You can hate me.

Computer, deactivate force field.

Ha! How could I hate you?

Tackling an emotional problem
with scientific experimentation

is exactly what I would have done.

- Really?
- Yeah.

But you don't have to,
'cause guess what?

No new implant is gonna stop
me from being your friend.

Aw. Thanks, Rutherford.

It's nice to know no matter what,

we still love science.

And how.

Also, don't date Barnes.

[GROANS, GRUNTS]

CASEY: He's growing hands.

Brace for grabbing!

[LAUGHS]

[ALL GRUNT]

MARINER: sh**t him with
the dang torpedoes already!

And I'm gonna go find a boulder.

- No! Power down weapons.
- But Captain!

I'm not sh**ting my friend anymore.

Why not?

Because you're right.

Mariner and I haven't been honest,

and you got caught in the middle.

You're a great officer, Jack.

I shouldn't have taken you for granted.

CASEY: Captain, his
power is... diminishing.

Your validation feels so good.

Tell me more.

I can end this with praise.

Uh, J-Jack, you're a-a fine commander.

You're in phenomenal shape.

Yes, fine commander. Yes, so yoked.

Mom, you've got to hit him. He's a god.

You can't appeal to his ego forever.

Stand down, Ensign. I've got this.

Jack, you're an amazing pilot,
a-a brilliant tactician and...

Oh, you're right. I should be captain!

Yeah, well, I don't know about that.

- Why not?
- That position is filled.

[CHUCKLES]: We can't have two captains.

Not two. Just me.

Full stop, mister. This is my ship.

I want to be the captain!

[ALL GRUNT]

[SHOUTS]

Wait, Jack, no!

You've got great hair, and
you're so good at guitar and...

[GROANS]

What? It worked?
Was it the guitar thing?

Uh... [GRUNTS]

I'm going to destroy you... [GROANS]

[BELLOWS DEEPLY]

What the hell is happening down there?

- [GRUNTS]
- RANSOM: Ow!

Sorry, Mom. I had to take
matters into my own feet.

- [GRUNTING]
- [RANSOM GROANING]

[KICK LANDS]

[WHEEZES]

[RETCHES]

Mariner? What was I doing?

You were trying to eat the ship, sir.

I had to apply concentrated
force to your neutral zone.

I'm sorry. Those strange energies
may have given me powers,

but it was my ego that turned me...

into a monster! [GRUNTS]

- Sorry. Your eyes were glowing.
- [HIGH-PITCHED]: Thank you.

I could feel myself
succumbing to the power.

[GROANS, GRUNTS]

- FREEMAN: Would you stop it, Beckett?
- No can do.

[GRUNTING]

[WHIMPERING]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

Oh!

Here, I picked a number. Just go.

No!

FREEMAN: The Cerritos is on
its way to the Bitrus Expanse,

and Commander Ransom
should make a full recovery.

I'm really sorry

about the whole omniscient
m*rder-god thing, Captain.

Well, you just focus on getting better.

I need you by my side.

All right, big guy.

Today, I'll be reading you
"Nightingale Woman."

Thanks, little buddy.

Hey, Mom. How's Ransom?

He's fine. Stevens hasn't left his side.

You know, it was cool

being an unstoppable
mommy-daughter team for a while,

but I think maybe we work better apart.

Agreed. I'm proud you're my daughter,

but I can't stand sharing
command with you.

Hey, maybe from now on,

we only do some side missions together.

I would like that.

[SIGHS]

There's a team waiting to take
me to the brig, isn't there?

- Ah, you know me so well.
- [DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN]

Love you, Mom.

Love you, too. Never disobey me again.

I do what I want!

So, your brains aren't going to melt?

Nope. I mean, not from the implant.

But we're in Starfleet, so who knows
what's gonna happen next week.

We worked together and managed to revert

one of his synaptic pathways.

- Oh, that's nice. Which one?
- I hate pears again.

They're so mealy and bland.

[BLEEP] pears.

Well, it seems like
everything's back to normal.

Yeah. Only thing missing is Boimler.

I do miss the guy,
but I can't blame him.

I mean, think of all the fun adventures

he's going on working with Riker

on a ship that's way cooler
than the Cerritos.

It's everything he ever wanted.

He's got to be having
the time of his life.

[SCREAMS]

- [SCREAMS] Shields at %!
- Red alert!

I'm starting to think this jam
session's got too many licks

and not enough comp.

What does that even mean?!

More Pakled battle harpies
just dropped out of warp!

They've got us surrounded!

- Someone punch me a way out.
- Punching.

I'm taking us into the anomaly.

- Brace for gluonic disruption.
- Gluonic what?!

[SCREAMING]

I love my job!

[MAN IMITATES WEAPONS f*ring]

Chirp.