03x03 - 12 P.M. to 3 P.M.

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Slasher". Aired: March 2016 to present.*
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"Slasher" revolves around a young woman who is confronted with a series of horrifying copycat murders, that are based on the widely-known killings of her parents years ago.
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03x03 - 12 P.M. to 3 P.M.

Post by bunniefuu »

[JUSTINE] We'll call the police again!

- [AMBER] The police can't do sh*t!
- [JUSTINE] You don't know that!

[AMBER] I know they can't, and they won't!

You? You've got a whole bunch of sh*t!

- I made a mistake!
- A mistake? Jesus!

♪ You'll be turning soft, Jell-O
Hoping I was gone, hello ♪

♪ Ballin' like I'm Carmelo
No baby, I came to play ♪

- ♪ I feel like a king today I've been going... ♪
- [MUSIC FADES]

[JUSTINE] It wasn't meant for everybody.
It was meant for my friends.

[AMBER] Nothing is ever your fault, right?

- [JUSTINE] I'm not saying that.
- [AMBER] Oh, yes, you are!

You keep saying it over
and over and over again!

You want to know whose
fault it definitely wasn't?

Mine or the kids'!

But they're the ones who have
to live with it, right?

Thanks to you!

Oh...

Oh...

You should go.

Go where? Where?

No, we are going to call the police.
[SNIFFLES]

Okay? In the morning. And if it's...

Dan doing this,
then we will have him arrested,

and we'll go to the landlord,
and they will...

and we'll have him kicked out,

that n*zi f*cking piece of sh*t
kicked out, okay?

And if they won't, then we will move.

Okay? We will move.

We will move somewhere
where nobody knows us,

okay, Amber?

There is nowhere we can move

where they won't figure out who we are.

We will always be the reapers
because of you!

Our lives are ruined because of you!

What don't you get?

[SOBS]

[SIGHS]

[DOOR OPENING, CLOSING]

[JUSTINE SOBBING]

[GROANS]

[SOBS] Dammit!

Oh, yeah.

I see you! I see you!

I know you're watching!

You're always f*cking watching!

Back stairwell, now!

I... I can't do this anymore. I tried!

Don't make me the bad guy here!

I put up with your mom's sh*t
longer than anyone would have!

You made me!

I don't give a f*ck!

And do you know why?

Huh?

Because you were just as bad!

All of you, you all watched him.

You all watched that boy get k*lled, and

none of you did a f*cking thing!

And now you're here again,
just f*cking watching!

Watching!

f*ck you!

[GRUNTS]

[SOBS]

- [CONNOR] Jesus Christ! [PANTS]
- No.

- Mom?
- No!

- Mom, stop. Don't!
- Mommy, please!

- [CONNOR] No, no, no.
- Another death...

- Mom, please.
- ... on your hands!

[CONNOR] Stop! Stop!

- Mom!
- [CONNOR] Mom!

[BOTH SCREAM]

- Oh, my God!
- [SCREAMS, SOBS] Mom!

[ROBERTA] Now, talk me through this.

- You walked in, you took a cup of coffee.
- I was gonna pay for it.

- I've got money, you know.
- Okay, I'm not concerned about that.

Did you see anyone around?
Staff? Customers?

Just that stuck-up prick
that runs this place.

- Alexander Lemon.
- [MAN SCOFFS]

Thinks he's the g*dd*mn king
of the neighborhood.

Like we weren't here
before his balls dropped.

- He was here when you came in?
- Earlier.

He accused me of stealing a sandwich...

which was total bullshit!

You see him have disagreements
with other customers?

Why aren't you asking me
about the blood in my coffee?

I'm trying to piece together
how you came to drink that.

I poured a cup.

I drank it.

It was blood!

Thank you. That'll be all.

You can go.

- f*ck.
- [DOOR CLOSES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[SIGHING] The carafe over there
is full of blood, almost four liters.

Minus whatever Vlad
the panhandler knocked back

and then spat out all over the floor.

And back there?

Uh, forensics said whoever did it

cleaned up behind the bar,
top to bottom.

Not even a fingerprint back there.

The luminol turned up
some spatter, though.

Human? I'd love to hear
that it was from a pig.

Don't know yet. I don't get it.
Why clean up a crime scene

just to leave all the evidence
in a coffee carafe?

Yeah, well, why cut off a head
just to mount it on a car?

- Because you're crazy.
- [SIGHS] Or angry.

Okay, the driver, the car,
the customers in the local coffee shop.

You think it's a customer's blood?

I think you need to hold off
on the guesses

and find me the owner of this place.

- [SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- [CHUCKLES]
- What are you smiling at?

Nothing.

Oh... I'm so ready for summer vacation.

Yeah.

Why'd I think I liked kids?

Teenagers, for f*ck's sakes?

- Jesus Christ.
- [CLATTERS]

This little snowflake was,
like, "You're giving me PTSD",

'cause I took her phone away.
Dumb bitch.

[SIGHS] Yeah.

You guys got, like, pills or anything?

- Uh, we're... we're good.
- [LAUGHS]

Oh, come on.
You know what it's like.

Oh, my gosh.

- Bye.
- Bye, ya fucks!

- That's me in three years.
- [LAUGHS]

I hope not.

- Oh, God.
- Oh, so listen, I'm serious now. Um...

you know that fight
that Saadia and Cassidy had?

- In the test, did she...
- Kaili...

They're teenage girls.

Everything is life and death.
They live for the drama.

Hey, so... so being att*cked
and called a t*rror1st,

that's... that's drama?

Whatever. So it's more
Homeland than Mean Girls.

Quit stalling. Tell me what
you're so happy about. Spill.

[CLEARS THROAT] Okay,
so I matched with this guy...

online and his DMs are...

- muy caliente. [LAUGHS]
- Let me see. How big?

No, no, somebody might hear.

I need this to get me through
my afternoon.

What am I looking for?

A beer can, or is it more
swipe right if it curves right?

Hey, you are gonna get me fired.

It's... It's more, um, it's more
tall boy crossed with a keg.

- [BELL RINGING]
- What?

And he's... he's meeting me
for coffee at : .

He's hot and he's hung, and
he wants to meet you in daylight?

You might want to f*ck in the first
four wall space we can find,

and then split the cab.

Would you stop it, already?
It's hard enough for me

to wait till : as it is.

It's hard indeed.

You are terrible.
You are a teacher.

[BETH LAUGHS]

Have fun!

[JEN] This one should work.

It says it's the premier app
for cellphone tracking.

[SAADIA SIGHS] Will I feel safe?

What if my dad calls again
and Cassidy picks up?

[JEN] Relax. He probably already
switched it onto airplane mode.

- [SAADIA] I'm being serious.
- [JEN] So am I.

You know flight attendants
are on a power trip.

At least you've flown.
You should know that.

[SIGHS]

Okay, look, ten bucks says

we find it in the back
of some douche's car

- in the parking lot.
- Can you not?

It's Cassidy. Expect the worst.

And go and buy some antibacterial wipes.

That girl's like a walking STI clinic.

It says she's still here in the school.

Okay, but what floor is she on?

Should we split up?
Actually, no, let's stick together.

She's probably blowing someone
in a basement somewhere.

No, it'll be faster if we split up.

You take one floor, I take the other?

If she tries anything, don't engage, okay?

- Just walk away and come find me.
- Okay.

I'm going to go and check the basement.

You're gonna get back your phone,

and we're gonna charge her
for a hate crime

and breaking and entering.

Pretty sure it's just petty theft.

- Whatever, Law & Order, it's going down.
- [SCOFFS]

[CHUCKLES]

[SOBBING]

- [SCREAMING]
- [AMBER SHOUTS] No!

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[SOBS]

Another death here this morning...

reminded me...

of this horrible moment.

[SCREAMING]

- [JEN] Mommy!
- [CHIMING]

[JEN] Mom!

[CONNOR] Mommy! Mom!

[JEN SOBS, SIGHS]

- Violet...
- Do not even start with me.

I so cannot listen to your
moral bullshit. Not today.

[CONNOR SOBBING] Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

- [STATIC]
- [JEN WAILING]

- [JEN] Mommy!
- [JEN, CONNOR SCREAMING]

Stop! That is my f*cking work!

- It's a snuff film.
- Get the f*ck over yourself, Joe.

Do it. You know I'll just have
a new one by noon.

[SIGHS]

Just take that down.

And replace it with what?

What? What would people
want to see instead?

You know what, though?

I was actually thinking that

you and Ángel might be onto something.

I do. Man-on-man sex.

I mean, some people
find that very, very hot.

Back when I was writing fanfic,

whenever I put two dudes together,

people would eat that sh*t up.

It's a total thing. So, here's my idea.

We do a follow-up video,

and we, like, open the blog up
to questions from all those people

- who saw you two make sweet, sweet love.
- Just don't.

- f*cking against that wall.
- Don't do this.

I certainly want to know,
and I'm sure they do.

Which you prefer?

Angel's loose ass...

or my wet p*ssy?

- What's wrong with you?
- Let's do it.

Let's swap the f*cking videos

and let's give them a blow by blow.

No?

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [DOOR SQUEAKS]

Cassidy?

Are you in here?

All right, everyone, settle down.

In the time you have
allowed for this final,

you're going to be doing
a full dissection and labelling,

plus answering a series
of essay style questions.

[STUDENTS GROANING]

- Sorry.
- [DOOR CLOSING]

You guys will be fine.
You've got this stuff.

I'll be back with the specimens.

Hey, I found nothing. You?

[BOY CHUCKLES] Check this out.

Can we try again when we're done?

Jen!

[CHARLIE] Hey, Rijkers, who am I?

"Reap what you sow!"
"Reap what you sow!"

[MOCKS SCREAMS]

Miss!

[SCREAMING]

[CHARLIE] "Reap what you sow!"

Oh, what, what? Wait!
Are you running away?

What, are you crying?
Oh, give Mom a hug.

[LAUGHS]

I'll be right back.

Thanks, bitch.

- Straight there!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey!

I just asked Saadia for my bag.

I know, but she... she started her exam.

Okay? So why... why don't you come in?

You've still got plenty of time.

- I don't know, that idiot, he...
- Yeah, okay, Charlie?

He'll be taking his exam
and the rest of the summer

in the principal's office. All right?

Do you really want to fail
biology because of him?

Oh, Jen. Jen, I...

I know how hard
this year has been for you.

I do.

Listen, you are so, so close.

All right? So don't let some
shithead throw you off.

I want you to take all of this, all of it,

and turn it into a moment
that makes you tougher.

[SNIFFLES]

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- Okay?
- Okay.

All right.

I'm so proud of you.

Oh, come on!

Really? Really?

We have to come home to this sh*t?

Welcome home. [CHUCKLING]

There are children living
in this building!

They gotta learn somehow.

Your apartment is right over there.

Some things just can't wait.

You wanna head inside?

No, I want head outside.

Keep going.

They can join in or leave.
I don't really care.

- [CHUCKLING]
- What is wrong with you?

Absolutely nothing.

And getting better by the minute.

Okay, we're not leaving.

Well, then, you're getting a show.

[GROANS]

Mm-hmm.

Let's go. Go!

You keep this sh*t up,
you're gonna die an early death.

You mark my f*cking words!

- Okay. Oh, f*ck.
- [JUSTINE] Let's go.

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

[CHARLIE] All right, um, you know what?

Let's just take it right here.

Lighting's good. Actually,
hoods up, hoods up, hoods up.

- Say, uh, "It's too late to quit!"
- BOY: Too late to quit. Whoo!

- [LAUGHTER]
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

Oh, God darn, it is hot under here!

Oh, the Solstice party
is gonna be a sweat bath.

Yeah.

Hey, nice costume, man.

That's a serious axe, too.
It looks so real.

[SCRAPING]

That's not real, right?

[CHUCKLING] I mean,
not after this morning, right?

Whatever.

Wow.

Very nice.

Now, go have just a great summer,
because you deserve it.

You, too.

- And thanks for convincing me to stay.
- Of course.

[DOOR OPENING]

[DOOR CLOSING]

[SIGHS]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Ugh. The machine over there,
it never dissolves all my detergent.

Yeah, and this dryer eats
expensive underwear.

[KAILI LAUGHS]

Listen, if you want help
folding things, you can try this.

Years of retail before I gave up
and became a teacher.

Gave up?

Yeah, uh... a little embarrassing,
but I used to, um...

have dreams of being an actor,
and then real life came my way,

and here we are, so...

But it worked out for the best,
because I was just a so-so actor

and it turns out I really like
a regular paycheck

and paid summer vacations, so...

I'm sorry. I'm Kaili, by the way.

Yeah, I know.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Your name's above mine
on the buzzer at the front door.

[CHUCKLES] Of course.

You know what? This is
just gonna take too long.

Honestly, it doesn't.
Here, just let me show you.

Now, give me a T-shirt.

- So, you take the t-shirt...
- Mm-hmm.

... and you place it face down.

You make sure it's real smooth.

And then you take this side here...

and then you just flip it over.

And take the other side...

flip it over.

- Yeah.
- And then...

take the bottom and flip it up.

And ta-da.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Uh...

anyways, I, uh... [SIGHS]

- Have a good night.
- Yeah.

You know, uh...

Kit, I... look, I know
that we're just neighbors,

but the other day, in the hallway.

Oh, yeah. [CHUCKLES]

I, uh...

I was a little f*cked up.

- Ya think?
- I'm sorry.

That, uh... that wasn't fair.

No, no, it's fine, really.

- I... I just want you to...
- What?

[SIGHS] I just want you to know that...

I know what it's like to feel lost.

I felt like that forever.

I really did.

And, I did things
that I regretted in retrospect.

Like, really embarrassing things.

So... if you ever want to...

talk...

about anything, really...

I mean, you think that
I fold a mean shirt...

you should hear me give advice.

- Advice?
- Or I can just listen.

You know, listening is good, too.

Kaili, you know, I, uh...
I get you're trying to help,

and that's great.

It's really sweet.

But it's also super
f*cking presumptuous.

- Sorry?
- Mm-hmm. Even at my worst,

I would rather die
right here, right now,

than follow any advice
that ends with me

buying a piece of plastic
to fold a t-shirt,

unless I can smoke it.

Same goes for paychecks

and someone telling me
when I can take a vacation.

I love my life.

From where I'm standing...

I'm not the one that needs help.

So, you do you.

I'm gonna do me, and I'm gonna
love every minute of it.

Have a good night.

- [BELL RINGING]
- See ya.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[SIGHS] Okay, let's see.

[SIGHS]

I'm not in the mood, assh*le.

Go annoy someone else.

Do you hear me?

[PANTS]

[SCREAMS]

[JEN SCREAMS]

f*ck off!

Leave her alone!

[CAR ALARM BLARING]

Look, here they come.

Not this assh*le.

Let's go.

Say what you came to say.

What, that I didn't do sh*t?

Stop being a... Jerk and apologize.

I'm sorry that you're afraid
of a Halloween costume

and a rubber axe,

Jennifer.

- Summer school it is. Fine by me.
- Yo... Wait...

- Miss, that's bullshit.
- Watch your mouth!

- Now!
- [SIGHS] Fine.

I am sorry that my costume scared you.

- Give me the robe and the axe now.
- Are you serious?

- Now.
- I just apologized.

Charlie?

Well, you're not taking the robes off

the other druids running around!

Charlie, now.

f*ck.

f*ckin' stupid.

Can I go?

Yes.

Hey, listen, I know that you've been
under a lot stress, okay?

I live in the building too, remember?

And this year, it's been...

Crazy is not a strong enough
word to describe what it's been,

but we have all... been victims.

And especially you... Jennifer.

And your mother.

My mom, she... she brought it on herself.

Uh...

[SIRENS BLARING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER PA]

"Reap what you sow."

I'm going inside.

[PHONE BUZZING, RINGING]

[DOOR OPENING]

Have you seen this? Is this real?

- I just woke up. Where is she?
- [JUSTINE] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

I woke... woke up and it was just...
it was everywhere!

- Did you post that?
- Yes. Oh, my God.

- "f*ck you, you heartless c**t."
- Oh, my God.


"How dare you use
God's words that way?"

- Oh, God!
- "It should've been you instead."

- Jesus, what is happening?
- My God, Justine.

"Dying like this is too good
for you, bitch."

Is that Mom?

- It's on the news!
- I don't know how that happened!

I barely have any followers!

"Tell your wife, Amber Ciotti,

she better take Jen and Connor
somewhere safe,

'cause that shitty apartment
is going to become m*rder central,

starting with you!"

- They know where we live.
- 'Cause they know everything.

[PHONE RINGING, BUZZING]

"Better sleep with one eye open, bitch.

Comin' for the whole lot of you."

Oh, God.

- Justine.
- [JUSTINE] I'm sorry!

- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- [AMBER] It's okay.

- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- It's okay. It's okay.

- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- It's okay. I got ya.

- [PHONES CHIMING]
- [SOBBING]

[AMBER] It's okay.

Eat it, you f*ckers!

Suck it! f*ck you!

[GRUNTS]

- [PANTS] Jesus Christ!
- [DOOR OPENS]

You m*therf*ckers!

[GRUNTS]

Eat it, bitch!

Bitch, f*cking die!

- [SNARLS]
- [ROARS]

- Holy sh*t! You don't knock?
- I... I knocked.

I called out. I announced myself.

I heard yelling and got concerned.

I'm sorry. You didn't answer.

You also didn't lock your door.

I'm focused when I'm working.

- I'm Detective Hanson.
- I remember.

Last year.

I need a few words.

[VIDEO GAME PLAYING]

You work from home?

Have you been here all day?

Anyone else who can verify that?

My system logs everything I'm doing.

I'm game testing and
the developer needs to see it all.

Why?

Alexander Lemon lives here, too.

Xander. But, why are you asking?

Do you know where he is?

At his coffee shop.

He's not there.

There was an incident
at the café earlier today.

[SIGHS] Another junkie break in?

We found a large amount of blood
in one of the coffee carafes.

That's kind of weird.

- Has he called or texted?
- A few hours ago.

- "Dairy free cheese is an abomination."
- What?

His last text.

Can you try him for me?

- [SIGHS]
- So, is this typical with him?

To leave his café and not tell anyone?

[AMY] He's probably at the bank
or getting milk.

[ROBERTA] He left it unlocked,
and he's been gone quite a while.

Is that something he does?
Are there any other staff?

- Uh-uh.
- He have trouble with customers?

Threats? Angry suppliers, maybe?

I don't know. Not really.

[SIGHS] Look...

if you hear from him...

- let me know immediately. Here's my card.
- Mm-hmm.

Thanks.

I can't believe people want to dress up

like a m*rder*r who was never caught.

How's that a joke?

People are dumb idiots, Saadia.

You need to accept this.

What are they gonna do next,
dress up like the bloody victims?

- It's not funny.
- No...

- and also...
- [SIRENS WAILING]

What?

I don't think that dude was pretending.

- Charlie?
- Charlie wasn't the one

who came after me. I'm sure of it.

- How do you know?
- He was taller.

Just... It felt different.

He was moving really fast,
past everyone else,

gunning straight for me,
as if he was really gonna sink

that axe into my head!

Can't believe I'm gonna say this,
but maybe it was some other kid.

It was a real axe, okay?
I heard it scrape the ground.

Well, maybe we should call the cops,
like Miss Greenberg said.

Right, so they can tell us
that we're under stress,

because, of course, two teenage girls
are just imagining things.

- But, Erica's dad was k*lled, axed and...
- I know.

- [CAR HONKING]
- I don't want to be alone tonight.

Stay at our place, okay?

If anything goes wrong,
at least we're together.

- [SIGHS]
- Okay, fine.

Since you're so scared,
I'll keep you company.

- Oh, my gosh.
- [LAUGHS]

- [SIGHING]
- [ALARM CHIRPING]

Whoa! Oh! [PANTS]

Get the hell out of my car!

I'm sick and tired of these costumes.

Get out!

[DOOR OPENING, CLOSING]

[PHONE CHIMES]

[MUFFLED CRYING, SCREAMING]

[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

Hello? Anyone? Connor?

Just put your stuff anywhere.

Amber, are you here?

I have a friend over!
I hope that's okay!

[AMBER] Jen, is that you, honey?

[SIGHS] A woman calling her Amber.
You'd think so, huh?

Uh, yeah, I'm home!

Oh, that's good.
Yeah, yes, yes, that's good.

A door is not a wall
until it's locked.

Amber, you remember
my friend, Saadia, right?

Hello again, Mrs. Ciotti.

What's she doing here?

- Amber...
- I saw you.

You know I saw you.

You didn't think I did, but I did.

A window is not a door until it's locked.

It keeps things out, but the light
always finds a way in.

Just... like you.

- Maybe I should go.
- Saadia's my friend.

She didn't do anything wrong.

She did everything
and she did nothing.

She should burn.

You heard the lawyer!

You're just gonna
have to find another job.

I posted this from my private account!

- It doesn't matter.
- On my computer, in my home!

- It doesn't matter!
- Yes, it does! It wasn't even a workday!

I know you want to sue!
I do too! But you can't, okay?

Your reputation is their reputation!

They... They have a right
to protect their business.

Oh, my God!

Oh!

Oh, my God! When is this gonna be over?

[SOBS] Oh, my God.

This is our home.

Me and my people have been
here a lot longer, fellas.

[LAUGHS]

[SOBS]

[AMBER] assh*le. f*ck him.

Saadia, wait, please?

Please.

Don't take it personal.

She's confused.
If she were in her right mind,

she'd know you did nothing
to hurt us. Honestly.

- She's right.
- No, she's not.

When people were being
horrible to your mothers...

I just...

What is it?

I should've stepped up.

I should've asked my parents
to be better neighbors.

Saad, come on, you know
this is not your fault.

I should've been better.

I should've been a better
friend to you, and I wasn't.

I'm sorry.

We're good.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You gonna be okay with...

Yeah. We'll meet up later, okay?

So we don't have to be alone.

Amber's not gonna be much company.

f*cking assholes.

We... We were having dinner
and then he stood up

- to go use the restroom.
- [DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE]

I mean, really, who walks out on a date?

And then I had to, uh, yeah,
I had to go pay for both of us,

so that was, uh, that was fun. [CHOKES]

Yeah, I sure did.

No, I don't. I just want to go home.

I want to f*cking slit my wrists.

[SNIFFLES, SIGHS] I'm joking.

Bad joke. I'm joking.

[SNIFFLES] Anyway, anyway...

Yeah. Yeah, okay.
Thank you for listening.

Okay, good night.

[SOBS, SIGHS]

[SOBS]

Kit?

- Kit?
- Kaili!

- My neighbor. Okay...
- You stink.

Can you... can you...
can you drive me home?

Well, you're not that far.

See, the thing is, I'm really f*cked up.

I'd appreciate
if you could drive me home.

Oh, you could use the air.
The walk will do you good.

f*ck. We live in the same
f*cking building.

You'll be fine. You don't need my help.

Remember? Ugh.

Really? f*ck.

[MUFFLED MUMBLING]

[GROANS]

[KAILI MUFFLED] No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!

No, no. [SCREAMS, SOBS]

[SCREAMS]

[WHIMPERS]

[SCREAMS]

Oh, my God!

[GROANS]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMS]

[SOBS]

[SCREAMS]

- [SCREAMS, SOBS]
- [BONE SNAPPING]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS, SOBS]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[KNOCKING]

- [POUNDING ON DOOR]
- Goddammit, Cassidy!

How many times do I gotta
tell you to take your key

before you leave the apartment?

Jesus Christ.

What the f*ck do you want?

- Is Cassidy here?
- No, she's not.

Look, I don't want to be here,
either, okay.

Cassidy stole my phone, and I need it.

I tried to find her at school.
She wasn't there.

Could you please just look
in her room to see

- if it's there or something?
- No, I won't.

- Hey, buddy!
- Hey, man. You done?

Ooh, yeah! Finally free of this place!

Oh, my God, I would be outta here,

at home, getting high as a f*cking kite,

ready for the Solstice party, but...

f*cking Greenberg stole
my costume, so...

She got you, too?

- What is her problem?
- Yeah. I don't know, man.

She's telling me, like,
[MOCKINGLY] "It's insensitive

to the trauma in our community.

Like, really, ask yourself, Charlie,

why do you get joy
off bringing people sorrow?"

I'm, like, "Uh, easy, because it's fun!"

Like, f*ck!

I'm so f*cking happy
to be done with this bullshit.

- Yeah. Let's do it.
- Yeah, please.

Let's get outta here,
go get f*cked up, go party!

Hello, miss! We're here! Hey, miss!

Oh, just a sec.

Here you go, sir.

Help! Help! f*ck!

[CHARLIE] Somebody help! Help! Help!
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